Traces of Scars Chapter 4: I just want you to know who I am, a 10 things i hate about you fanfic

Chapter four: I Just Want You to Know Who I Am

Disclaimer: you know the drill, I don't own the characters depicted in the movie…touchstone pictures does…but now that I have gone through the plot used in the movie, I can move on to my own plot…are you excited??? Oh, and I also do not own the lyrics (or music, if you can hear it in your head) to the Goo Goo Doll's song 'Iris'…God, I love that song, I just had to stick it in here somewhere! And I guess if you're going to be really particular, I don't own Kraft Dinner, either! Arg, I also don't own the A&P food chain!!!!!! That's it! If you find anything else, go discuss it with my lawyer!!!!

Author's Note: As I write this, I actually have no idea where this chapter is going. I only have a general idea, so bear with me! Also, I would like to show my immense appreciation to my faithful readers:

Neerah: your reviews are so valuable! I am so glad that I have reached all the way to Sweden with this story! If you want to tell your friends about this story, that would be cool… :o)

YourWinter06: haha, when I reviewed your story, I had no idea it was you, as I forgot to read the penname…sorry for being a dolt. I have no idea where you are located (safety, I know) but I am glad that I have reached you! Also, if you wanted to get your connections to review this story, that would be cool… :o)

And to all those who are reading this and not reviewing (if anybody is doing that) please, just take the time to review…it would be nice to know how many readers I have…also, if anybody would like a cameo appearance in one of my stories, that could be arranged….but you've got to tell me in a review! (can you tell how desperate I am…I must be a life-less wonder… :o) )

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Well, it was good to see Kat and Patrick make up with each other. But I really am cautious around that guy…he smells like trouble. I think that's why Kat likes him, but man, that guy has screwed up way too many times. I think she should drop him if he pulls any more crap. Although, the whole 'singing in the bleachers' moment was one to treasure forever. God, moments like those. Like when Michael got me that dress. Michael. I need to talk to him, I can't keep blowing him off forever.

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After I Kat dropped me off at home and I put on my old Goo Goo Dolls disc, I went over to the fridge to grab a coke. God, the fridge looked rather empty. More so than usual. I knew I would have to go shopping.

'And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now'

The music crooned in the back ground as I made my shopping list: eggs, milk, bread, juice, Kraft Dinner, carrots, ranch, tomato paste, pasta. That ought to hold me till mum's cheque comes along. I locked the door behind me as I left with my shopping list in my pocket and my woven purse around my shoulder. The walk to the local A&P wasn't too bad, but I sure did miss the luxury of Kat's car…

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Weaving through the aisles, I managed to find everything on my list. I saw Cameron at the check-out, and I asked him how everything was going with Bianca.

"Well, it's going great, we're having a blast together. And I owe it all to Patrick, Joey and Michael. How're things going with you and Michael?" I couldn't bear to tell him that I'd blown off Michael again, errr, twice, so I just said,

"Fine." And distracted him with going back to the topic of Bianca, as she distracts a lot of things…I knew she had to be good for something!

"Yeah, so, do you have any future plans with Bianca, I mean, you'll be graduating before she does, how is that going to work out?" I was right. That did distract him. It distracted him enough that the cashier had to tell him three times that he owed $22.50. After Cameron paid, and the slightly perturbed cashier began to ring up my shopping, Cameron finally answered my question.

"Well, some of the students are getting an opportunity to go overseas this summer. They're going to Munich for some sort of summer exchange program. Bianca is going." Aww, poor guy, I didn't mean to do that to him… I think I should just let the subject go.

"Well, it's only for the summer, Cameron, and it will be really good for her to see the world." It'll be good for Bianca to see some scenery besides the local mall. As Cameron's blue and black backpack headed through the automatic doors, and I paid the cashier the $17.52, I went through the same automatic door and found a payphone. I simply couldn't stay away from Michael anymore. I had to tell him how much I really do care for him. Public payphones are really repulsive, you know, so religiously grimy. Gross. After I dialled his number I waited for him to pick up.

*BRRRIIINGG!* pick up the phone, Michael.

"Hello?" I finally hear his voice on the other end.

"Michael, it's Mandella."

"I need to see you, Michael; I need to talk to you."

"Should I come over?" God, no, I couldn't let him know that nobody else was home, and nobody else would be coming home

"No…could you meet me somewhere?"

"Where should I meet you, Mandella?"

"The park?"

"Sounds great, I'll see you there in fifteen minutes."

"Right. Fifteen minutes will be fine."

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Walking down the busy streets, on the gummy sidewalk, I could still hear the reminiscences of 'Iris' floating through my thoughts,

'And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am'

God, the lyrics kept making sense. They flowed in and out of my circumstances like a vapour. I couldn't tell anyone that mum was gone, and that I was alone. I'm a big girl; I am supposed to be able to handle this stuff on my own, aren't I?

Michael came up to me as I was sitting on my favourite park bench, the one with the small inscription on it that reads

'To Emilie, who loved this bench, and for Joseph, who sat beside her.' The idea of that always catches my heart up in my throat.

"Mandella, talk to me," he said, pure sweetness was practically dripping from him. Damn, that guy will always get to me. He sat down beside me and I told him that I was scared to get into a relationship. I told him that I never had been in a relationship like this one, because guys always saw me as 'scary.' I told him that I was more intimidated by him than by anything else. And you know what he did? He gently, his lips almost didn't touch the top of my head as he tenderly kissed it, holding me in his arms and rocking back and forth…

'And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am'

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A.N. Well, now they are together….what's going to happen next??? Can you feel any tension mounting??? You'll have to leave a review, now won't you!