CHAPTER TWELVE
*
"You okay?"
"Just give me a hug, please," Kagome muttered.
"Sure," Inuyasha said, feeling awkward. He did as she said, waiting for her odd mood to pass.
After a long while, "Feeling any better?" Inuyasha asked, his voice muffled by Kagome's windblown black hair.
"A little," she said softly. Inuyasha rested one of his hands lightly on Kagome's back, hoping that it comforted her further. He hated seeing her upset... even when he caused it.
I don't know what made her this unhappy. It can't have been that rotten little squabble, he thought, looking over her head into the distance. His claws caught on the thin fabric of her blouse, and he felt her stiffen slightly. Quickly he pulled his hands away.
He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. Well, when she felt better, he'd go make the rounds of the woods. If there was something there, he would find-
Suddenly he stiffened. He could feel Kagome's finger, hooked into the neck of his robe. He felt it trace down over his chest, down his belly, parting the red cloth down to his waist. "K-K-Kagome..." he whispered. "What are you... why..."
Kagome stepped back, holding his wide, baggy sleeves in her hands, her eyes fixed on his face. With a gentle tug, the garment slipped down Inuyasha's narrow shoulders, down his arms, and fell at his feet. He stood still as his white silk undershirt slipped off as well, leaving him bare from the waist up. He was torn between being stunned and scared... he had dreamed from time to time about things like this, but never thought Kagome would actually...
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kagome said hesitantly. "You're not... scared, are you?"
"Kagome..." he repeated. "I... I don't... we should..."
"I guess I shouldn't have done that," Kagome said, with tears in her eyes. "But... Inuyasha... I've just been so unhappy. I've cared... so much about you, since the first weeks we travelled together. And I... wanted to be with you so much, even though you kept saying you hated me..." She looked down and wiped at her eyes.
Inuyasha felt something spasm in his chest. He took a step toward Kagome. Thinking of what she was doing. What she was saying she felt for him. His hands were shaking as he touched Kagome's shoulder. "Kagome... you gotta understand..." he said hesitantly.
"No, no, I get it," Kagome said in a little, choked voice. "You don't... want me... that's it. I understand."
"NO!" Before she could turn away, Inuyasha seized Kagome and crushed her against his chest. Holding her tightly, he began thinking. Holding her like this gave him a few more minutes to sort out his tangled feelings. Kagome made no move to pull away, just resting against him.
"That's not it," Inuyasha mumbled. "You got it all wrong."
"Okay..." Kagome said. The conflicted young demon did not see the cold look in her eyes.
Inuyasha couldn't remember any time in his life when a girl had truly been interested in him. He was a halfbreed. Human girls thought he was ugly, frightening, like a beast on two legs. Even on the few occasions when he was able to talk to one, he had never forgotten for a moment what he had been born as. Not even Kikyo had left that alone, when he had trailed after her. Only Kagome never spoke of it.
Inuyasha trusted her. He protected her. She soothed him and made him feel relaxed in a way he hadn't in his whole life. A few times, Kagome had even hinted at feelings for him, but he didn't dare pursue them.
Inuyasha hugged her tighter. "Y'know," he said, "nobody ever said they... wanted me."
"Why not?"
"What, you forgot the dog ears?" he asked bitterly.
"Well," Kagome said decidedly. "I want you, dog ears and all. And I'm not just saying that..."
Inuyasha rested his chin on Kagome's shoulder, still thinking. Kagome's words echoed in his mind... "I want you."
What of Kikyo? That unwelcome question forced itself into Inuyasha's mind. He saw the undead priestess in his mind, and remembered his promise: to protect her with his life. Would this be breaking my word? he wondered. Would this mean... forgetting Kikyo?
"Inuyasha..." Kagome said quietly. "You're shaking. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Inuyasha mumbled. He was starting to feel almost dizzy. He wanted Kagome -- wanted to show her how he felt, even if he couldn't get the damn words out of his mouth. And she wanted him too -- she had even said so. In all those years alone, nobody had ever said they cared. It made it so hard to even think about saying no.
And worst of all was the fear. It was a fear that he'd had for months, but this made it rise up and smack him in the face. She might leave him. If he did this now -- if he became Kagome's lover -- what would happen one day if she met someone she liked better? Would she just cast him aside, leaving him more alone than he ever had been before?
The thought of it made him feel cold all over. He held Kagome close against his bare chest, stroking her long hair. Then he made his choice in an instant. He knew what he wanted to do, regardless of his fear.
Inuyasha drew back from Kagome, and looked into her eyes. "Kagome... you really..."
"I really," Kagome said firmly. She leaned over and kissed his lips. Inuyasha didn't dare to return it for a moment -- then began kissing her back, hesitantly, like a shy young boy in the middle of his first crush. He gripped her shoulders and pulled her back into his arms. A hot blaze in his blood reminded him of his demonic transformations, but this was a different kind of feeling...
Yes, Inuyasha thought. Yes... this is what I want...
TO BE CONTINUED
*
"You okay?"
"Just give me a hug, please," Kagome muttered.
"Sure," Inuyasha said, feeling awkward. He did as she said, waiting for her odd mood to pass.
After a long while, "Feeling any better?" Inuyasha asked, his voice muffled by Kagome's windblown black hair.
"A little," she said softly. Inuyasha rested one of his hands lightly on Kagome's back, hoping that it comforted her further. He hated seeing her upset... even when he caused it.
I don't know what made her this unhappy. It can't have been that rotten little squabble, he thought, looking over her head into the distance. His claws caught on the thin fabric of her blouse, and he felt her stiffen slightly. Quickly he pulled his hands away.
He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. Well, when she felt better, he'd go make the rounds of the woods. If there was something there, he would find-
Suddenly he stiffened. He could feel Kagome's finger, hooked into the neck of his robe. He felt it trace down over his chest, down his belly, parting the red cloth down to his waist. "K-K-Kagome..." he whispered. "What are you... why..."
Kagome stepped back, holding his wide, baggy sleeves in her hands, her eyes fixed on his face. With a gentle tug, the garment slipped down Inuyasha's narrow shoulders, down his arms, and fell at his feet. He stood still as his white silk undershirt slipped off as well, leaving him bare from the waist up. He was torn between being stunned and scared... he had dreamed from time to time about things like this, but never thought Kagome would actually...
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kagome said hesitantly. "You're not... scared, are you?"
"Kagome..." he repeated. "I... I don't... we should..."
"I guess I shouldn't have done that," Kagome said, with tears in her eyes. "But... Inuyasha... I've just been so unhappy. I've cared... so much about you, since the first weeks we travelled together. And I... wanted to be with you so much, even though you kept saying you hated me..." She looked down and wiped at her eyes.
Inuyasha felt something spasm in his chest. He took a step toward Kagome. Thinking of what she was doing. What she was saying she felt for him. His hands were shaking as he touched Kagome's shoulder. "Kagome... you gotta understand..." he said hesitantly.
"No, no, I get it," Kagome said in a little, choked voice. "You don't... want me... that's it. I understand."
"NO!" Before she could turn away, Inuyasha seized Kagome and crushed her against his chest. Holding her tightly, he began thinking. Holding her like this gave him a few more minutes to sort out his tangled feelings. Kagome made no move to pull away, just resting against him.
"That's not it," Inuyasha mumbled. "You got it all wrong."
"Okay..." Kagome said. The conflicted young demon did not see the cold look in her eyes.
Inuyasha couldn't remember any time in his life when a girl had truly been interested in him. He was a halfbreed. Human girls thought he was ugly, frightening, like a beast on two legs. Even on the few occasions when he was able to talk to one, he had never forgotten for a moment what he had been born as. Not even Kikyo had left that alone, when he had trailed after her. Only Kagome never spoke of it.
Inuyasha trusted her. He protected her. She soothed him and made him feel relaxed in a way he hadn't in his whole life. A few times, Kagome had even hinted at feelings for him, but he didn't dare pursue them.
Inuyasha hugged her tighter. "Y'know," he said, "nobody ever said they... wanted me."
"Why not?"
"What, you forgot the dog ears?" he asked bitterly.
"Well," Kagome said decidedly. "I want you, dog ears and all. And I'm not just saying that..."
Inuyasha rested his chin on Kagome's shoulder, still thinking. Kagome's words echoed in his mind... "I want you."
What of Kikyo? That unwelcome question forced itself into Inuyasha's mind. He saw the undead priestess in his mind, and remembered his promise: to protect her with his life. Would this be breaking my word? he wondered. Would this mean... forgetting Kikyo?
"Inuyasha..." Kagome said quietly. "You're shaking. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Inuyasha mumbled. He was starting to feel almost dizzy. He wanted Kagome -- wanted to show her how he felt, even if he couldn't get the damn words out of his mouth. And she wanted him too -- she had even said so. In all those years alone, nobody had ever said they cared. It made it so hard to even think about saying no.
And worst of all was the fear. It was a fear that he'd had for months, but this made it rise up and smack him in the face. She might leave him. If he did this now -- if he became Kagome's lover -- what would happen one day if she met someone she liked better? Would she just cast him aside, leaving him more alone than he ever had been before?
The thought of it made him feel cold all over. He held Kagome close against his bare chest, stroking her long hair. Then he made his choice in an instant. He knew what he wanted to do, regardless of his fear.
Inuyasha drew back from Kagome, and looked into her eyes. "Kagome... you really..."
"I really," Kagome said firmly. She leaned over and kissed his lips. Inuyasha didn't dare to return it for a moment -- then began kissing her back, hesitantly, like a shy young boy in the middle of his first crush. He gripped her shoulders and pulled her back into his arms. A hot blaze in his blood reminded him of his demonic transformations, but this was a different kind of feeling...
Yes, Inuyasha thought. Yes... this is what I want...
TO BE CONTINUED