Harry Potter & the Honeychurch Institute of Magic
By Darkmoore
"Well Xander, I think you just found Mr. Larson's missing bones." said Harry over his shoulder.
"Now aren't you glad you stayed in school over the holidays?" asked a grinning Will.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Sixteen: The Telling of Tales
"Headmistress," Xander Malfoy called out, "look at what we found."
Madame Klump turned to see the two students and her youngest member of staff walking into her office carrying a small chest.
"Whatever do you have there? And why are you three covered in dust? Have you been up to something?" she asked with keen interest in the chest, but still trying to maintain the proper demeanor of the headmistress.
"It's a chest Madame Klump." said Will as if she should have known that herself.
"Well Edwina, these boys and I have just had a little adventure up on the third floor." Harry informed her.
"Yeah, Professor Potter took us up there and we went through a secret passage behind a painting found a secret room filled with books and then another one filled with junk." Will said with excitement to get the story told.
"Secret rooms, secret passages? There aren't any on the third floor…" Madame Klump started but was cut off by on the portraits hanging in her office.
"I am afraid that they are quite correct Edwina." stated the painting of Philbert Stonemason, "when I built this castle all those centuries ago, I did build several different secret passages."
"Why didn't you ever tell us about his before?" the Headmistress asked.
"I thought you knew. It's in the historical accounts of the castle; I had assumed you had read it by now."
"Be that as it may," Harry began in order to curb this argument before it got started, "we have found it and I think our Mr. Malfoy has made an even more important discovery."
"More important?" both the Headmistress and the painting said together.
"Yes, I think I found the bones of that ghost who told us the story of his death on Halloween in this chest." said Xander Malfoy pointing to the chest Harry was levitating in the air.
"Jude Larson," she corrected him, "that would extraordinary if you have. He would be so pleased that he can finally move on and be with his long deceased family." Then Madame Klump paused and then called out, "Robert."
Moments later the ghost of the former headmaster, Robert O'Hearlihy, walked through a wall answering her call and said, "Yes, Edwina, did you need something?"
"Yes, I do and it's very important, I need you to find Jude Larson. If you need to get some of the other ghosts to help you, as I need to see him here in my office." Madame Klump stated excitedly.
"Oh, of course, I'll collect him directly." and then the ghost was gone.
"Now gentlemen, while we are waiting for Mr. Larson to show up, why don't we have a seat and you can begin to tell me the tale from the beginning." said Madame Klump as she conjured several chairs and a table with tea and biscuits on it.
* * * * *
About an hour later they boys had informed their her of their parts of the story and Harry told them how Sirius, the painting of his godfather, had been talking to Lady Letitia Honeychurch and found out about the hidden room and how he had become curious about it. He somehow forgot to make any mention at all of a certain new map in his possession. 'It must have slipped my mind.' Harry thought to himself later.
It was about this time when Madame Whitbrook materialized through the wall with one of her hands wrapped around the arm of Jude Larson dragging him into the office.
"Madame Klump, I've found him for you." she said.
"Thank you Madame Whitbrook," the Headmistress said and then turned to the ghost of the young man, "Mr. Larson, just the person I was looking for. I think we might have a surprise for you."
"What did you need of me Mada…" Jude Larson began, but stopped abruptly when he saw the chest, "Is that what I think it is?" he asked, with ghostly tears forming in his eyes.
"I believe that it is, but only you would know for sure. Touch them and find out." she said in a kind voice to the trembling spirit. With her words the other ghosts of the castle soon joined them in the office and Will Beagle went scurrying out of the room.
"Go ahead son;" said the ghostly headmaster, "It's been your dream for so long."
There the ghosts, the paintings, the Headmistress, Harry and Xander watched as the ghost of Jude Larson reached out and touched the bones lying in the black velvet lining of the chest. The moment his ghostly fingers touched them an eruption of magical energy engulfed him and his bones rose out of the chest and began to dance around the startled spirit, each finding their original position in his body. When the bones were all within the confines of his ghostly presence, Jude began to move and with him the bones moved as well, each in their own way as if he were still flesh and blood.
Those present watched as Jude fell to his knees and put his over his face and wept. He cried from the joy of his bones, from the misery he felt over the years he spent looking for them, from the pain of watching his father slip into madness for what he had been tricked into doing by the dark hearted Lord Honeychurch and he cried from the fear of what would happen to him next.
Jude looked up from his place on the floor of Edwina's office and turned to face Xander Malfoy and said, "Thank you young sir, thank you for doing what I could not. Thank you for helping me rest at long last. Bless your heart and may it never know the grief mine has all these centuries."
Then the room was filled with a blinding light and a sound filled their ears, a sound Harry had always connected to that of a phoenix singing and then when the light subsided, Jude Larson had moved on to the next place and his bones were laying on the floor in a small pile. Everyone was stunned into silence. That is until…
Standing in the door was Will Beagle with his mother, Charlotte, and he said, "You see Mum, you don't see that everyday."
* * * * *
Lunch that day had been an interesting meal, Harry noticed that Edwina and the boys were retelling the tale of that morning's adventure both in the secret rooms and in the office, while Charlotte seemed quiet and removed from the whole discussion. Harry was about to engage her verbally when …
"What do you think we should do about Jude's bones?" asked Madame Klump.
"I think we should bury them," said Professor Smallwood, "it's the proper thing to do."
"We could place them in the old Honeychurch family cemetery. It's not been used in awhile and I think the family owes him a place to rest his bones after all." Professor Whitlock said with finality.
"What an excellent idea Taryn. Now that Jude has moved on I'll look up his information and we can carve him a headstone as well and place it at his grave when we're ready." Madame Klump agreed.
"I think tomorrow morning would be the best time for the grave side service, wouldn't you agree?" Charlotte said speaking at last. "That way, it'll give you time to do the necessary work and to find someone to dig the grave."
'And give you time to run away I see.' thought Harry to himself.
* * * * *
Awhile after lunch was over and everyone was about making the proper arrangements Harry was finally able to have a chance to talk to Mrs. Beagle. So he went to her room, as he knew she was there packing for her trip back to St. Mary's Mead and knocked on her door.
"Mrs. Beagle … Charlotte, I wanted to apologize if I made you uncomfortable yesterday when I was showing off my animagus form to you. I shouldn't have pounced on you and licked you like that. It wasn't proper and I'm sorry for it." Harry said sheepishly and looking quite ashamed of himself.
"No, it's quite alright Profes… Harry," she began, "I thought it was rather playful of you and I rather enjoyed being a part of the group instead of an outsider, which I thought I might end up being here at the school. It was actually Will who embarrassed me. He seems to have taken a shine to you and I can see you like him as well. I'm just afraid he may end up playing match maker for us."
"Oh well, I don't know if that would work very well, since I'm here most of the year and I … uh … I mean to say …" Harry said as embarrassment overtook his ability to talk.
"Don't let it worry you Harry, I know now that Will is in good hands and thanks to your friends at the joke shop I know what kind of man you truly are, well for the most part anyway. I trust you with Will, and honestly I was a little attracted to you at first, you are a very handsome young man, but too young for me I'm afraid." she said with a warm smile.
"Thanks for understanding, because there is someone who I've had my eye on, but …" he trailed off looking embarrassed again.
"Anyone I know?" she asked devilishly.
"No, she went away for the holliday."
"One of the other teachers? Well, better be careful, you know how students like to gossip." she said making him blush even more.
"Yeah, well … Here let me help you with your luggage." Harry said changing the subject and she laughed softly at the man who was still a boy in some ways.
* * * * *
Down at the train station, Harry and Will were watching the train pull away after they had ridden with Mrs. Beagle in one of the carriages. Will turned and looked up at his favorite teacher and said …
"You know sir; I think my Mum fancies you."
"Oh you do, do you?" Harry replied.
"Yes, I'm quite certain of it."
"Well she and I had a long talk before we came to get you for the trip down here and I think you may be incorrect there, Mr. Beagle."
"Oh. This wouldn't have something to do with Xander's brother being in love with you would it?"
"Definitely not!" replied Harry very quickly. "Xander and his brother may look alike, but they are vastly different people and Draco Malfoy is not my type at all."
Will grinned at Harry as they climbed back into the carriage and went back to the school.
As the carriage approached the golden gates, Will looked at Harry and asked, "We don't have to ring the bell again do we?"
Harry laughed at his question and said, "No once is more than enough."
"Thank goodness."
* * * * *
After the two were back in the warmth of the castle, Harry noticed that Pig was flying around in circles in his office as if waiting on him to return.
Harry called out to the bird, "Hey Pig, what do you have for me today?" and eventually Harry was able to catch the snitch like owl. After he relieved the owl of it's burden, he let him go and opened the envelope to see the birth announcement of Bill & Fleur Weasley's first child, a son named Armand Arthur Weasley.
To Be Continued…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Author's Note: To everyone who reviewed, thanks again...
Madam Whitbrook wrote This is really developing into a lovely story. Looking forward to seeing how you develop the Xander character, in particular.
Answer - I'm not sure yet about Xander, but know that he has found the long hidden bones of a certain ghost, who knows what may happen.
athenakitty wrote Harry's having fun exploring the castle? Will Larson get his bones buried? What will happen to the books? Will Honeychurch remain open? Will Harry donate Snape auto bio to the school's library? Will Draco find another mate?
Answer - Ah, yes, Draco's mate. Well you may remember Blaise Zabini was wanting that job and unbonded Veela are not known for their inability to go without...well some nooky. I think Snape's book may have been a gag gift from Tonks, but a good one. As for the rest, you'll just have to read all about it.
Bill wrote I like how things are developing between Harry and Charlotte so far, although she will be leaving soon. I wonder if there is anything else interesting among those books, or in the other boxes? Some genius at the Department of Magical Education is busily at work, I see. I was a bit surprised that Harry was not more alarmed by the newspaper story, as it could be his school that is targeted.
Answer - You know how the prophet is, one misleading story after another. Besides Harry is so used to odd things happening around him, he just lets it slide off.
Romm wrote Hmm, so the original Lord Honeychurch was into Dark Magic? And what was Mrs. Beagle all upset about over Harry's animagus form? Or I suppose I should say, what did she think he did and why won't she ask him directly?
Answer - I don't know if he was the ORIGINAL Lord Honeychurch, but he was a PAST Lord Honeychurch, then again, I wasn't paying much attention to the story as it was told so I could be wrong. :) As for Charlotte, well its not everyday a large black panther starts licking you in the face. BUT it was his reaction to Will's comment that started her thinking....Hmmmmmmmm. Also when I post Chapter 4 of the Will Beagle story your questions may be answered.
TuxedoMac wrote well I must say that the missing rooms on the map made for a wonderful adventure. I was thinking thow that the bones would be in the one in the south tower, but it was good where it ended with finding them there. It also makes sence that no one could find them if you needed Veela blood not only to get in that room but to open the case. It also might be a nice thing with Harry and will's mom cuz she seams like a nice person.
Answer - Harry is 23 and Charlotte Beagle is a bit older than he is. Besides you've have't read chap 4 of Will's story before reviewing. The room near the south tower comes into play later on.
Treska SilverFlame wrote (a lot so I'm only pasting in what I'm responding to, but please feel free to look up comments in teh reviews section) As a side note you should watch a couple of things:
1) Proof-Read: I've noticed that although your spelling is fine, you do have a slight problem with mechanics (ie capitalizing, puncutation and indenting). If you wish for a tip read your story backwards. That way you can catch any errors without getting caught up in the story.
2)Tenses: You seem to get a little confused, switching from present to past. Normally people do this anyway, but they mix them in the same paragraph/sentence to help make a little more sense. However I've noticed that you'll stick with one tense for two or three paragraphs and then suddenly change. While this is gramatically correct it interupts the flow of the story. Style your writing after the way you speak (although some would argue this is not the way to go).
Now hopefully I haven't completely scared you. (I can't even read a fanfic with out the teacher in me coming out. Sorry.) My offer to beta read still stands, although I don't know if you could get your chapters out as quickly. Keep up the wonderful work. Your story is very well crafted.
Answer - I'm scared daddy hold me, but enuff about my sex life. I actually attempted to email about that topic, but it came back. Yours wasn't the only one that did, so I think it was me. Anyway, let me explain something that might aid in your review. When I write this for the first time, I have the oddest tendency to write in past tense with no dialog, then when I go back to "polish" it, I sometimes forget to adjust the tence I used earlier. My bad I know, but when I'm writing this story I get so excited and I want to post it as soon as I'm done. I so need a beta who is in the house and can phycially stop me from doing these things. I have no control.
I try to use spell check on everything I write and I know from past experience that it doesn't always catch things that it should and other things that are correct, it tries to change to something that sounds soooo wrong to me.
Lastly the sad thing is, I do write like I speak, so that won't help. My friends can verify that fact almost instantly. :)
George W. wrote When you write about closing smaller schools what about three or more schools joining with Honeychurch Ins. of Magic and becoming a very large school. They all like the idea of Harry teaching new students. Also they like the idea of his money helping out with supplies. What would happen if the MOM came up with a new list of subjects? And the teachers all had to take proficiency tests' each year; or had to write papers. Also what would happen if some of the kids from the orphanage started to show up; and he was made they guardian? I have read 1 - 15 chapters; keep up the writing.
Answer - That was in the Daily Prohet and until Harry actually sees it with his own eyes, it doesn't have merit. Hello, we have read articles by Rita before. :) Don't worry about the school closing just yet, we're still at christmas, the Ministry wouldn't want to deal with the nightmare of relocating students in mid-year.
Roger S. wrote I have enjoyed this story. It is one of the more pausable ones. Harry does not have super powers, doesn't marry at 17, or become king of the world. HE does have to learn to adjust from a war and is doing so. Good job.
Answer - Thank you for the compliment. I too was becoming annoyed with him suddenly being super Harry when all he wanted was to be ordinary Harry.
Too Lazy to Log In wrote WOW! This story has really captured my attention. Its an interesting read, sure enough. The only thing that bugs me is occasionally to jump from tense to tense.Like saying "he ran" then soon afte saying "then he says". I dunno, i'm just nitpicky like that. But this is a good story, because otherwise, I wouldn't have read it this far.Keep up the good work and update soon! :D
Answer - Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy the rest of it. As for my tense use, I know, I suck as a writer. I'm working on it, least thats what I tell myself. :) As for being too picky, your the one who admits your too lazy to log in. Please. :D
By now many of you have found my new story, "The Death of Harry POtter." I came up with this when half way done with Chap 16 and found writers block waiting there for me. Took me forever to get thru lunch and I don't know why, it wasn't that great a scene. oh well. Any suggestions for death scenes I'm open to them. :)
By Darkmoore
"Well Xander, I think you just found Mr. Larson's missing bones." said Harry over his shoulder.
"Now aren't you glad you stayed in school over the holidays?" asked a grinning Will.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Sixteen: The Telling of Tales
"Headmistress," Xander Malfoy called out, "look at what we found."
Madame Klump turned to see the two students and her youngest member of staff walking into her office carrying a small chest.
"Whatever do you have there? And why are you three covered in dust? Have you been up to something?" she asked with keen interest in the chest, but still trying to maintain the proper demeanor of the headmistress.
"It's a chest Madame Klump." said Will as if she should have known that herself.
"Well Edwina, these boys and I have just had a little adventure up on the third floor." Harry informed her.
"Yeah, Professor Potter took us up there and we went through a secret passage behind a painting found a secret room filled with books and then another one filled with junk." Will said with excitement to get the story told.
"Secret rooms, secret passages? There aren't any on the third floor…" Madame Klump started but was cut off by on the portraits hanging in her office.
"I am afraid that they are quite correct Edwina." stated the painting of Philbert Stonemason, "when I built this castle all those centuries ago, I did build several different secret passages."
"Why didn't you ever tell us about his before?" the Headmistress asked.
"I thought you knew. It's in the historical accounts of the castle; I had assumed you had read it by now."
"Be that as it may," Harry began in order to curb this argument before it got started, "we have found it and I think our Mr. Malfoy has made an even more important discovery."
"More important?" both the Headmistress and the painting said together.
"Yes, I think I found the bones of that ghost who told us the story of his death on Halloween in this chest." said Xander Malfoy pointing to the chest Harry was levitating in the air.
"Jude Larson," she corrected him, "that would extraordinary if you have. He would be so pleased that he can finally move on and be with his long deceased family." Then Madame Klump paused and then called out, "Robert."
Moments later the ghost of the former headmaster, Robert O'Hearlihy, walked through a wall answering her call and said, "Yes, Edwina, did you need something?"
"Yes, I do and it's very important, I need you to find Jude Larson. If you need to get some of the other ghosts to help you, as I need to see him here in my office." Madame Klump stated excitedly.
"Oh, of course, I'll collect him directly." and then the ghost was gone.
"Now gentlemen, while we are waiting for Mr. Larson to show up, why don't we have a seat and you can begin to tell me the tale from the beginning." said Madame Klump as she conjured several chairs and a table with tea and biscuits on it.
* * * * *
About an hour later they boys had informed their her of their parts of the story and Harry told them how Sirius, the painting of his godfather, had been talking to Lady Letitia Honeychurch and found out about the hidden room and how he had become curious about it. He somehow forgot to make any mention at all of a certain new map in his possession. 'It must have slipped my mind.' Harry thought to himself later.
It was about this time when Madame Whitbrook materialized through the wall with one of her hands wrapped around the arm of Jude Larson dragging him into the office.
"Madame Klump, I've found him for you." she said.
"Thank you Madame Whitbrook," the Headmistress said and then turned to the ghost of the young man, "Mr. Larson, just the person I was looking for. I think we might have a surprise for you."
"What did you need of me Mada…" Jude Larson began, but stopped abruptly when he saw the chest, "Is that what I think it is?" he asked, with ghostly tears forming in his eyes.
"I believe that it is, but only you would know for sure. Touch them and find out." she said in a kind voice to the trembling spirit. With her words the other ghosts of the castle soon joined them in the office and Will Beagle went scurrying out of the room.
"Go ahead son;" said the ghostly headmaster, "It's been your dream for so long."
There the ghosts, the paintings, the Headmistress, Harry and Xander watched as the ghost of Jude Larson reached out and touched the bones lying in the black velvet lining of the chest. The moment his ghostly fingers touched them an eruption of magical energy engulfed him and his bones rose out of the chest and began to dance around the startled spirit, each finding their original position in his body. When the bones were all within the confines of his ghostly presence, Jude began to move and with him the bones moved as well, each in their own way as if he were still flesh and blood.
Those present watched as Jude fell to his knees and put his over his face and wept. He cried from the joy of his bones, from the misery he felt over the years he spent looking for them, from the pain of watching his father slip into madness for what he had been tricked into doing by the dark hearted Lord Honeychurch and he cried from the fear of what would happen to him next.
Jude looked up from his place on the floor of Edwina's office and turned to face Xander Malfoy and said, "Thank you young sir, thank you for doing what I could not. Thank you for helping me rest at long last. Bless your heart and may it never know the grief mine has all these centuries."
Then the room was filled with a blinding light and a sound filled their ears, a sound Harry had always connected to that of a phoenix singing and then when the light subsided, Jude Larson had moved on to the next place and his bones were laying on the floor in a small pile. Everyone was stunned into silence. That is until…
Standing in the door was Will Beagle with his mother, Charlotte, and he said, "You see Mum, you don't see that everyday."
* * * * *
Lunch that day had been an interesting meal, Harry noticed that Edwina and the boys were retelling the tale of that morning's adventure both in the secret rooms and in the office, while Charlotte seemed quiet and removed from the whole discussion. Harry was about to engage her verbally when …
"What do you think we should do about Jude's bones?" asked Madame Klump.
"I think we should bury them," said Professor Smallwood, "it's the proper thing to do."
"We could place them in the old Honeychurch family cemetery. It's not been used in awhile and I think the family owes him a place to rest his bones after all." Professor Whitlock said with finality.
"What an excellent idea Taryn. Now that Jude has moved on I'll look up his information and we can carve him a headstone as well and place it at his grave when we're ready." Madame Klump agreed.
"I think tomorrow morning would be the best time for the grave side service, wouldn't you agree?" Charlotte said speaking at last. "That way, it'll give you time to do the necessary work and to find someone to dig the grave."
'And give you time to run away I see.' thought Harry to himself.
* * * * *
Awhile after lunch was over and everyone was about making the proper arrangements Harry was finally able to have a chance to talk to Mrs. Beagle. So he went to her room, as he knew she was there packing for her trip back to St. Mary's Mead and knocked on her door.
"Mrs. Beagle … Charlotte, I wanted to apologize if I made you uncomfortable yesterday when I was showing off my animagus form to you. I shouldn't have pounced on you and licked you like that. It wasn't proper and I'm sorry for it." Harry said sheepishly and looking quite ashamed of himself.
"No, it's quite alright Profes… Harry," she began, "I thought it was rather playful of you and I rather enjoyed being a part of the group instead of an outsider, which I thought I might end up being here at the school. It was actually Will who embarrassed me. He seems to have taken a shine to you and I can see you like him as well. I'm just afraid he may end up playing match maker for us."
"Oh well, I don't know if that would work very well, since I'm here most of the year and I … uh … I mean to say …" Harry said as embarrassment overtook his ability to talk.
"Don't let it worry you Harry, I know now that Will is in good hands and thanks to your friends at the joke shop I know what kind of man you truly are, well for the most part anyway. I trust you with Will, and honestly I was a little attracted to you at first, you are a very handsome young man, but too young for me I'm afraid." she said with a warm smile.
"Thanks for understanding, because there is someone who I've had my eye on, but …" he trailed off looking embarrassed again.
"Anyone I know?" she asked devilishly.
"No, she went away for the holliday."
"One of the other teachers? Well, better be careful, you know how students like to gossip." she said making him blush even more.
"Yeah, well … Here let me help you with your luggage." Harry said changing the subject and she laughed softly at the man who was still a boy in some ways.
* * * * *
Down at the train station, Harry and Will were watching the train pull away after they had ridden with Mrs. Beagle in one of the carriages. Will turned and looked up at his favorite teacher and said …
"You know sir; I think my Mum fancies you."
"Oh you do, do you?" Harry replied.
"Yes, I'm quite certain of it."
"Well she and I had a long talk before we came to get you for the trip down here and I think you may be incorrect there, Mr. Beagle."
"Oh. This wouldn't have something to do with Xander's brother being in love with you would it?"
"Definitely not!" replied Harry very quickly. "Xander and his brother may look alike, but they are vastly different people and Draco Malfoy is not my type at all."
Will grinned at Harry as they climbed back into the carriage and went back to the school.
As the carriage approached the golden gates, Will looked at Harry and asked, "We don't have to ring the bell again do we?"
Harry laughed at his question and said, "No once is more than enough."
"Thank goodness."
* * * * *
After the two were back in the warmth of the castle, Harry noticed that Pig was flying around in circles in his office as if waiting on him to return.
Harry called out to the bird, "Hey Pig, what do you have for me today?" and eventually Harry was able to catch the snitch like owl. After he relieved the owl of it's burden, he let him go and opened the envelope to see the birth announcement of Bill & Fleur Weasley's first child, a son named Armand Arthur Weasley.
To Be Continued…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Author's Note: To everyone who reviewed, thanks again...
Madam Whitbrook wrote This is really developing into a lovely story. Looking forward to seeing how you develop the Xander character, in particular.
Answer - I'm not sure yet about Xander, but know that he has found the long hidden bones of a certain ghost, who knows what may happen.
athenakitty wrote Harry's having fun exploring the castle? Will Larson get his bones buried? What will happen to the books? Will Honeychurch remain open? Will Harry donate Snape auto bio to the school's library? Will Draco find another mate?
Answer - Ah, yes, Draco's mate. Well you may remember Blaise Zabini was wanting that job and unbonded Veela are not known for their inability to go without...well some nooky. I think Snape's book may have been a gag gift from Tonks, but a good one. As for the rest, you'll just have to read all about it.
Bill wrote I like how things are developing between Harry and Charlotte so far, although she will be leaving soon. I wonder if there is anything else interesting among those books, or in the other boxes? Some genius at the Department of Magical Education is busily at work, I see. I was a bit surprised that Harry was not more alarmed by the newspaper story, as it could be his school that is targeted.
Answer - You know how the prophet is, one misleading story after another. Besides Harry is so used to odd things happening around him, he just lets it slide off.
Romm wrote Hmm, so the original Lord Honeychurch was into Dark Magic? And what was Mrs. Beagle all upset about over Harry's animagus form? Or I suppose I should say, what did she think he did and why won't she ask him directly?
Answer - I don't know if he was the ORIGINAL Lord Honeychurch, but he was a PAST Lord Honeychurch, then again, I wasn't paying much attention to the story as it was told so I could be wrong. :) As for Charlotte, well its not everyday a large black panther starts licking you in the face. BUT it was his reaction to Will's comment that started her thinking....Hmmmmmmmm. Also when I post Chapter 4 of the Will Beagle story your questions may be answered.
TuxedoMac wrote well I must say that the missing rooms on the map made for a wonderful adventure. I was thinking thow that the bones would be in the one in the south tower, but it was good where it ended with finding them there. It also makes sence that no one could find them if you needed Veela blood not only to get in that room but to open the case. It also might be a nice thing with Harry and will's mom cuz she seams like a nice person.
Answer - Harry is 23 and Charlotte Beagle is a bit older than he is. Besides you've have't read chap 4 of Will's story before reviewing. The room near the south tower comes into play later on.
Treska SilverFlame wrote (a lot so I'm only pasting in what I'm responding to, but please feel free to look up comments in teh reviews section) As a side note you should watch a couple of things:
1) Proof-Read: I've noticed that although your spelling is fine, you do have a slight problem with mechanics (ie capitalizing, puncutation and indenting). If you wish for a tip read your story backwards. That way you can catch any errors without getting caught up in the story.
2)Tenses: You seem to get a little confused, switching from present to past. Normally people do this anyway, but they mix them in the same paragraph/sentence to help make a little more sense. However I've noticed that you'll stick with one tense for two or three paragraphs and then suddenly change. While this is gramatically correct it interupts the flow of the story. Style your writing after the way you speak (although some would argue this is not the way to go).
Now hopefully I haven't completely scared you. (I can't even read a fanfic with out the teacher in me coming out. Sorry.) My offer to beta read still stands, although I don't know if you could get your chapters out as quickly. Keep up the wonderful work. Your story is very well crafted.
Answer - I'm scared daddy hold me, but enuff about my sex life. I actually attempted to email about that topic, but it came back. Yours wasn't the only one that did, so I think it was me. Anyway, let me explain something that might aid in your review. When I write this for the first time, I have the oddest tendency to write in past tense with no dialog, then when I go back to "polish" it, I sometimes forget to adjust the tence I used earlier. My bad I know, but when I'm writing this story I get so excited and I want to post it as soon as I'm done. I so need a beta who is in the house and can phycially stop me from doing these things. I have no control.
I try to use spell check on everything I write and I know from past experience that it doesn't always catch things that it should and other things that are correct, it tries to change to something that sounds soooo wrong to me.
Lastly the sad thing is, I do write like I speak, so that won't help. My friends can verify that fact almost instantly. :)
George W. wrote When you write about closing smaller schools what about three or more schools joining with Honeychurch Ins. of Magic and becoming a very large school. They all like the idea of Harry teaching new students. Also they like the idea of his money helping out with supplies. What would happen if the MOM came up with a new list of subjects? And the teachers all had to take proficiency tests' each year; or had to write papers. Also what would happen if some of the kids from the orphanage started to show up; and he was made they guardian? I have read 1 - 15 chapters; keep up the writing.
Answer - That was in the Daily Prohet and until Harry actually sees it with his own eyes, it doesn't have merit. Hello, we have read articles by Rita before. :) Don't worry about the school closing just yet, we're still at christmas, the Ministry wouldn't want to deal with the nightmare of relocating students in mid-year.
Roger S. wrote I have enjoyed this story. It is one of the more pausable ones. Harry does not have super powers, doesn't marry at 17, or become king of the world. HE does have to learn to adjust from a war and is doing so. Good job.
Answer - Thank you for the compliment. I too was becoming annoyed with him suddenly being super Harry when all he wanted was to be ordinary Harry.
Too Lazy to Log In wrote WOW! This story has really captured my attention. Its an interesting read, sure enough. The only thing that bugs me is occasionally to jump from tense to tense.Like saying "he ran" then soon afte saying "then he says". I dunno, i'm just nitpicky like that. But this is a good story, because otherwise, I wouldn't have read it this far.Keep up the good work and update soon! :D
Answer - Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy the rest of it. As for my tense use, I know, I suck as a writer. I'm working on it, least thats what I tell myself. :) As for being too picky, your the one who admits your too lazy to log in. Please. :D
By now many of you have found my new story, "The Death of Harry POtter." I came up with this when half way done with Chap 16 and found writers block waiting there for me. Took me forever to get thru lunch and I don't know why, it wasn't that great a scene. oh well. Any suggestions for death scenes I'm open to them. :)