A/N: This will probably disturb you in several ways. It has no pairings or anything like that—it's just a weird idea. This is one of the things that happens when fangirls go bored. cough Yes, I know Shino's OOC.
Disclaimer: Imagine the wonderous changes I could make to the Naruto series if I owned it... dreamy sigh
Aburame Shino sat upon a usually comfortable couch in his bug-infested home. One might ask: why is it usually? Well, in Shino's condition, the squishy couch was doing nothing to help him. He had diarrhea, and he hated it. He had already gone to the toilet three times, and wasn't looking forward to going back. It wasn't like he had a choice, though.
The Leaf Genin visibly paled as a sickening squish noise echoed throughout the room. "Crap," he muttered under his breath, "it's starting up again." He cursed inwardly, but held his breath as he stood up. Nothing happened. He slowly made his way to the restroom.
Once on top of the toilet, that remained the case. Try as hard as he might, nothing came out. Despite his utter concentration and effort, nothing would happen. He began to curse once more. He had only one option...one that he resorted to in very few cases. Shino sighed. "I don't have much of a choice here," he murmured to himself.
Shino concentrated his chakra until he felt a faint tingle on his skin. "NUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He yelled, pushing with all his might, and the accursed piece of crap came out. Except for one thing. Because of the power of its release, it was now ricocheting through the bathroom, bouncing off of random things. It narrowly missed the team eight member's head. But by some odd miracle, it landed safely in the toilet.
And that was when he heard the voices.
"HELP US!! AHHHHHHHH! DON'T PUT US THROUGH SUCH TORTURE!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!" It was the voice of...a bug? Shino sweatdropped. See, this is part of the reason why he hated having bugs inside of him. Sure, it was helpful in fights and all, but not in times like these. Some of them were stupid enough to hang around...over there, and they unfortunately came out with the rest of the waste he emptied.
"Sorry, I--" Shino began, about to reach into the toilet and pick them up, but that was interrupted when he had another attack. It squirted out in a flurry of juicy gas release, and even he winced. And then it was stuck again. Try as hard as he could, it still would not come out, and he was forced to make it, well, fly out.
As the excrement shot around the room once more, someone unwisely chose to enter the bathroom. Shino had forgotten to lock it again. "HEY! IT'S NOT SAFE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Shino screamed...but it was too late. His poop had smacked his father square in the forehead, and he did not look pleased.
"Shino," His father said calmly, "I am hoping that the object that hit me in the face was not what I thought it was."
"That depends on what you thought," Shino said somewhat weakly. He was exhausted now, and his diarrhea seemed to be over. He was about to flush the toilet when he heard the screams of the poor bugs once more. "Oops...sorry." Without hesitating he reached inside and pulled out a dozen or so little bugs from the bowl. His father watched in horror as the boy simply swallowed them.
Shino's father merely gaped at his son as he left the room looking quite serene.
A/N: Just to let you know, he's using one of those Japanese toilets that one is meant to squat over rather than sit. :D