Giles was the first to break the silence. "K-Kalderash? The Romany tribe who cursed you? Are you certain?"
Angel's face was grim; fear and an odd menace glimmered deep in his impenetrable dark eyes. "The return of my soul? That's not the kind of night a vampire forgets. That's not the kind of night anyone forgets." His eye remained bent on the symbol as if it exerted a mesmeric power over him. Then he seemed to recall the people with him and moved to the library windows, staring out through the glass.
"And she didn't say anything about this to you, Giles? Not once last night?" Buffy asked.
"N-no. Not a word a-about gypsies o-or the curse. Nothing. S-she only queried me about A-Angel's involvement with you, Buffy." Thinking about what this must mean, Giles removed his glasses and began scrubbing them furiously.
Xander exclaimed, "Anyone thinking it's not a coincidence a Cauliflower gypsy turns up in the same town as a vamp with a soul, raise your hands!"
"That's Kalderash, Xander," Giles corrected.
Willow spoke up, protesting the slur against her favorite teacher. "N-now wait a gosh darned minute! N-nobody said anything a-about Ms. Calendar being a-a gypsy. She just happens to have a-a funny-looking necklace in her purse, that's all."
"So why doesn't she wear it around her neck? I don't know much about women's fashions but that's the usual place for necklaces, isn't it?" Xander countered.
"Maybe she h-hasn't gotten around to wearing it 'cause, you know, it doesn't go with anything she owns. I get that problem, too, sometimes. I see something that looks great in the store but then I get it home and blecch!" Willow replied heatedly.
"I'm thinking our Ms. Calendar hasn't been of the straight with us. She's got Angel in her sights for some reason and I'd like to find out why," Buffy said, her arms folded as she shot worried stares between the eye symbol and the vampire gazing into the darkness that lay beyond the window.
Giles re-seated his glasses upon his nose and spoke to his charge. "Buffy, Willow's right. Before w-we go assuming Ms. Calendar has s-some dangerous secret agenda, perhaps I might point out that she hasn't done Angel any actual harm. In fact, except when her life has been put in danger, she's had very little contact with him at all. Those gypsies cursed him a long time ago, cursed him t-to suffer and be punished for his crime against them. It is hardly likely at this late date that they have decided on a new torment for him."
"No, I'd say they got the job done right the first time," Angel murmured, his voice heavy with irony.
"Y-yes. Quite," Giles replied uncomfortably.
"But the necklace, Giles! And you said she lied when she spoke about Angelus. Angel said he gave her the wiggins last night. The fact that she's calling him by the name of his ugly alter ego is a big tip-off right there she doesn't think of him as a good guy," Buffy pointed out. "So chances are, she's not hanging around with Angel's health in mind."
"But what could s-she want with him now?" Willow asked. "She's not one of the gypsies who cursed him. It all happened so long ago."
"She might be a descendant of the original gypsies who leveled the curse," Giles mused. The Watcher was as loath as Willow to believe ill of Jenny but her conversation from last night, her persistent antagonism towards Angel and her own criticism of his methods did not speak highly for her innocence.
Xander scratched his head as he looked over the drawing. "G-man, you said she was asking about Buffy and Deadboy, right? Could be Buffy's the new jigsaw piece in this funky little puzzle. Maybe everybody's favorite Slayer is the reason Ms. Calendar's sniffing around He-Who-Walks-With-Broody-Expression."
"Yes, Xander. I think you might be onto something. Je-Ms. Calendar wasn't enquiring about Angel per se as to why I could let Buffy be with him. S-She seemed to feel that he posed a threat to Buffy in spite of my attempts to indicate otherwise."
"Makes sense to me. That's proof that Ms. Calendar's one of the good guys. Well, I guess that settles that question," Xander said, directing a knowing smirk at the vampire. Angel didn't turn nor make any response to the sally.
"Xander's facile acceptance aside, t-this is a trifle worrying. I-I can't imagine what Ms. Calendar's final plans are even if we have ascertained her motives. She's worried about Angel's presence in B-Buffy's life and she may—I'm not saying she is, mind you—be a descendant of the original Romany tribe who cursed Angel with his soul. That's really all we know."
Willow asked, "How d-do we find out more? S-should we spy on her or follow her?"
"No, absolutely not," Giles countered, his voice turning sharp and irritated. "I shall confront her with what we have learned and question her a-about what she knows of Angel."
Buffy was clearly dissatisfied with this course of action. "And if she dummies up? Pretends she doesn't know what we're talking about? Then what, Giles? Willow just said she really could have gotten that necklace at a fair. What if she sticks to that story? What if she says she's of the concern-y for me when she talked to you and that's it?"
"Then I can point out the lie about the b-books. I think Angel should be there to back me up." He looked towards the vampire. As if sensing his gaze, Angel turned and met his eye. After a brief moment, he nodded and turned his gaze back onto the deepening darkness beyond the windows.
"Whoa, hold on, folks! Like you said, Ms. Calendar hasn't done anything. Shouldn't we check all our facts before we haul her in for the third degree?" Xander protested.
"We're kinda low on facts, Xander. What you see is what you get," Buffy countered.
"Yeah, and what I see is a screwball design and Deadboy's word that Ms. Calendar hasn't been marking the books with her smell trail like a poorly trained poodle. Not exactly sound proof of a criminal mind, Buffy." Xander turned to Willow. "C'mon, Wills. Back me up here. You don't think Ms. Calendar is up to any cloak-and-dagger bushwa, do ya?"
Willow didn't want to believe anything bad about Ms. Calendar. But she didn't hate Angel the way Xander did and thought he was being really unfair. "I-I don't know, Xander. Ya gotta admit, this is kinda strange. And why would Angel lie and point fingers at M-Ms. Calendar if she's all innocent? If he's never hurt her, she's never hurt him either."
"Fine. If you're going to use logic… Well, okay, maybe she is up to something. But if she starts paddling up the River of Denial, what do we do then?" Xander asked.
"Maybe Willow can do a little hacking the way she did with Billy Fordham," Angel threw out. "She can see into Ms. Calendar's past, see if she's been telling the truth about her background, where she's been, that sort of thing."
Willow beamed. She was thrilled that Angel recalled her helpfulness. "Okey dokey, Angel."
Giles wore an unhappy expression. "D-do you really think that's necessary?"
"Giles, I don't like it any better than you do. But we've caught one of our teachers in a great flaming lie." Buffy was struck by a thought. "Oh my god. What if she's another Ms. French faker? Remember when she chopped off Dr. Gregory's head so she could take his place and make Xander her virgin love toy? Maybe Ms. Calendar pulled a kind of switcheroo, too!"
"Do we have to bring up my ugly past, Buffy? I'm trying to repress here," Xander huffed, giving an exaggerated shudder of his shoulders. Once again, Angel thought he needed to hear the tale of Xander's love woes. It would be a wonderful way of making the boy squirm the next time he cut loose with one of his "Deadboy" cracks.
"I think that highly unlikely, Buffy," Giles replied. "As Angel said, she's not a demon otherwise he would have sensed it. Seeing as this is the Hellmouth, such things often leave a dead body in their wake. And there have been no s-suspicious deaths or disappearances tied to Ms. Calendar's presence."
"So that's the plan then? I'll go home and check up on Ms. Calendar on my computer. W-what'll you do, Giles?" Willow asked.
The Englishman sighed heavily. "Regardless of what you find out, Willow, Angel and I must meet with and talk to Ms. Calendar."
"You and Angel? What about me, Giles? Doesn't this concern me, too?" Buffy demanded.
"Yes, it most certainly does. But I don't want Ms. Calendar to feel she's on trial, Buffy. I merely want to question her. K-keeping the number of people confronting her low may make her feel more at ease."
"That's right, Buff. She's gonna feel creeped out enough by having Soul Boy bothering her without the rest of us getting into the act. You think you can keep the vamp from making her into steak tartare if he gets ticked off, Giles?" Xander asked as he waved at the vampire in question.
Buffy decided she'd had enough of Xander's comments. She moved over to Angel and ran her hand up and down his arm. "Angel? A-are you all right?" She lowered her voice so the others couldn't hear.
"Not really. That was the night when everything came crashing down on me. I lost my fun, carefree existence as Angelus and regained my soul, my memories of everything I'd done, everybody I'd murdered." He closed his eyes against the pain. But that only brought the memory before him more vividly. That sweet, foolish Rom girl, her angry father, the chanting old woman…
She grasped him on the elbow. "Angel, look at me." He turned his opaque gaze on her determined hazel eyes. "That wasn't you. Don't you get that? You could never do such things."
"You'd never get Xander to see that. At the end of the day, I'm just another vampire to him."
She scowled. "Yeah, well, Xander's a big ole dummy sometimes. Don't listen to him, Angel. You're a good person."
He shrugged in weariness. This was an argument they'd had many times. She refused to see him as the monster he was and he worried occasionally about what seemed to be her willful blindness. She'd never seen what Angelus could do, what he was capable of. Other than Darla, she'd never met anyone who could inform her with firsthand knowledge of his dark past. Ms. Calendar might be more than willing to enlighten her.
If the pretty computer teacher was a member of the Kalderash tribe, then she had good reason to hate and fear him. He wondered what Buffy would make of whatever she had to say. Suddenly he couldn't bear thinking about it any longer. He whirled away from the window, startling Buffy with the abruptness of his motion.
"Angel? Where are you going?" she cried.
He replied without turning as he strode towards the library doors. "Out. You should go home to your mother. She's probably wondering where you are."
She ran after him, oblivious to her friends and Watcher. "Angel, wait!"
The others watched her go. "And on that note, I'd say this little Scooby meeting has broken up. You sure you don't want us lending moral support when you grill Ms. Calendar, G-man?"
"Xander, I've asked you not to call me that. And no, your presence will not be needed." Giles picked up the eye drawing and stuck it in his pocket.
"What about me? I-I think I should be there t-to lend the support thing," Willow piped up.
He smiled at her. "As I said, that won't be necessary. I think Angel and I will do just fine without you."
She gathered up her books and shook her head. "Not support for you. I meant Ms. Calendar."
Buffy hurried after Angel. She knew how fast he could move. Even though she was a Slayer and could run faster than normal humans and most vamps unless they got a real head start, Angel had perfected blending into the shadows into an art. If he got too far ahead, he could disappear into the night and she'd never find him. "Angel, hold it!" She darted in front of his fleeing form. "Look, I know this thing with Ms. Calendar has got you wigged big time. But we've faced things more terrifying than her every night of the week. Whatever she's up to, it can't be that bad."
"It's not that, Buffy. It just—brought up a lot of memories for me. That's all." He stuck his hands in his pockets, hunched his shoulders and continued walking.
She fell into step beside him. "You mean Angelus-y type memories? That bad, huh?"
He shook his head, his features settling into its familiar lines of inner turmoil. "Buffy, you don't understand. I enjoyed myself in those days, Buffy. The excitement, the passion, the bloodlust, the thrill of the hunt… It was a great time for me. Those were good memories. But all that ended when my soul came back. I struggle against the pull of those memories every night but my demon didn't disappear and it's still inside me, whispering about what fun times I could have again if I just let it out. The night I got my soul back was the worst night of my life." He paused while he considered his past and his present. "It was also the best."
She raised her eyebrows at him. "Huh? Missing the connection on that. I thought we were still stuck in Miseryville."
"It was the best night of my life because, without my soul, I'd never have been sent to help you." He smiled at her and her insides turned to mush the way they always did when he smiled. She loved the way he seemed to brighten because of her. She lived for the moments she could make him forget the unhappiness that always surrounded him like a cloud.
She hugged him with one arm and he bent his head towards hers for a quick kiss. "Aw. My boyfriend says the sweetest things. C'mon. We'll go home and I'll do a fast check-in with my mom. Dinner, homework and then back outside for slayage. Sound like a plan?"
"Actually, Buffy, maybe you should go it alone tonight."
She frowned, her hazel eyes clouding. "Really? Why?"
"I-I just want to think about things a little. Tonight brought up a lot of stuff for me and I—"
"Just wanna sit in your lonely old apartment and brood? Uh uh. Tonight you are joining me for quality Buffy-and-Angel slaying time. No getting out of it, mister!" She held up a hand as he seemed about to protest.
"Yes, ma'am." Her determination made him grin in spite of himself. Buffy was so irrepressible sometimes. In spite of the slaying, she had maintained her air of innocence and genuine lightness of spirits. She had a way of making him feel young, too. At times she almost made him forget he was a two-centuries-old vampire with a crushing weight on his conscience.
He watched her go into her house after sharing a last lingering kiss. Then his jaw tightened and he swung off into the darkness.
"Mom! I'm back from school!" There was no immediate answer. Then she heard an absent-minded call from upstairs.
"Hmmm? Buffy, is that you?"
"Mom?" She shucked off her book bag so it landed carelessly on the floor and bounded up the stairs. She found her mother in her room, reading glasses perched on her nose while she squinted at a slew of catalogs scattered around her on the bed. Mrs. Summers looked up as Buffy came in and glanced, startled, at the clock by her bed.
"Buffy? You're late! Or is it early by your standards? I was busy going through these art catalogs trying to decide on the layout for our next gallery opening. I completely lost track of time. I'm sorry." She shoved aside the papers.
"What's the sorry? You're a working mom. No big." She sat down on the bed, accidentally crushing one of the catalogs.
"But I forgot to set out dinner."
"Like I said, no big. I'll just nuke a plate."
She got up just as her mother made a slight throat-clearing noise. "So how was school?"
"School? Um, the usual. Teachers forcing us to learn tons of meaningless knowledge against our will. Sheer mental torture wrapped in hours of staggering boredom. You?"
"Productive day of work surprisingly uninterrupted by worrying about my daughter."
"No worrying? Then you're no longer wigging out over the Slayer gig? I knew you'd come around." Buffy grinned as he mother stood up and straightened her skirt.
"Ha ha. How are the others? Any chance they'll be coming over today or tomorrow? I like seeing you with your friends. Especially that Xander. He seems like such a nice boy. I worry about him sometimes," Joyce finished in a musing tone, her forehead slightly creased.
"Xander? Mr. Happy with the loud shirts? Why worry about him? If it's about the slaying, he always carries a stake now and he never goes slaying alone. He and Willow promised me." Buffy walked downstairs to fix herself dinner, her mother close behind her.
"No, it's not that. I called his house a couple of times when I couldn't get hold of you. His father sounds so mean and surly. It makes me wonder what kind of home life Xander has. He did mention something about his folks not being the sort he would share secrets with. He sounded a little, I don't know, scared at the idea of letting them into the secret."
"I don't think Xander's scared of his parents. I'm not sure what his folks are like, really."
"You're not?" It struck Joyce as odd that Buffy should be so ignorant of the domestic life of one of her closest friends. "Why not? Don't you think that's something you should know?"
Buffy's brows scrunched together as she pulled leftovers out of the fridge. Why didn't she know more about Xander? Willow was always forthcoming in telling about her day. She babbled nonstop—usually when she'd had way too much caffeine. Xander was a gabbler, too, but somehow talk about his family never came up in conversation.
Joyce noted her daughter's confusion. "Well? Why the lack of information on Xander Harris?"
"Um, I honestly don't know, mom. Xander's always of the chatty but verbiage about his folks? Kinda lacking in day-to-day talking. Do you want me to fix you a plate?"
"No, I ate earlier. About Xander—maybe that's something you should fix," Joyce said pointedly.
"Yeah, I guess." She was ashamed of her ignorance. She made such a big noise to Giles and Kendra about how much her friends meant to her and she didn't know the first thing about Xander other than how his goofy smile lit up a room or the way his jokes had a way of easing the tension. [Well, maybe those are the important things. Way more important than what his mom and dad do for a living.]
[Lousy excuse for lack of knowledge, if you ask me.]
[Whose side are you on?]
[Uh, there's only one side in here unless you're channeling Dionne Warwick and her Psychic Friends Network.]
Her mother interrupted her train of thought. "Was there anything else happening tonight? You're home late. Did you and the others have a meeting?" Joyce opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of cranberry juice.
"Yep. Nothing about demons, though. This was about…something else." She was a little uneasy about this. Her mother had problems with Angel and learning about the people who cursed him with his soul would only remind the older Summers woman about Angel's non-human status.
"Really? Then why were you so late?"
Buffy sighed as the microwave pinged letting her know her food was hot. "This was…we're not sure what it is. It-it's not involving a demon, exactly."
"Exactly what does it involve?" When her daughter retreated to the dining room table, Joyce followed her. "Buffy."
"I know, Mom. I'm not hiding anything. It's just…kinda weird. We think Willow's computer teacher may not be entirely on the level. We found out she may be part of a gypsy tribe."
"Gypsies?" Joyce's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. Now she'd heard everything. "Well, that is…odd. But I don't see why that should keep you after school. So she has an unusual background…"
"Mom, it's more than that." Joyce looked at her daughter's lowered face and shifted her chair closer. There was more going on here than an unusual family tree. She knew her daughter wasn't prejudiced; she'd reared Buffy better than that. So what was the problem? "Did I ever tell you how Angel got his soul?"
"Um, I think so. You said there was a curse, something about gypsies." Her eyes widened. "Oh. Is that what this is about? This woman is one of those people?"
"Got it in one. In fact, we think she's descended from the original gypsies that stuck Angel's soul back in the first place."
"I see. So what's she doing here in Sunnydale? Is she checking on Angel?"
Buffy stabbed her fork into a piece of meat and waved the morsel in the air. "That's the verdict. Only we're not sure what she's checking for. The others think she may be more interested in checking out the duo that is Buffy and Angel." She popped the bit of food into her mouth and chewed enthusiastically.
"You mean it's you that's got her so curious. And you say this woman has been posing as a computer teacher?" She tried to recall whether she met this woman during Parent/Teacher night. Then a stray memory prodded her. "What's her name?"
"Didn't I mention? She's Ms. Calendar, Jenny Calendar."
"Wait, I know her! Well, I mean, I met her. She came in the library the day Kendra left. She left quickly when she saw Mr. Giles had company so we weren't formally introduced. Mr. Giles seemed disappointed that she took off so fast but I think she was thrown by finding me there. He told me she probably wanted to talk about things slaying related and couldn't discuss them freely in my presence. It was quite a blow to find out one of your teachers also knew about the slaying before I did." Joyce let a tiny bit of pique surface in her voice.
"Well, Ms. Calendar's a technopagan and we needed her help when Willow's online date turned out to be a demon robot."
Joyce blinked as she tried to absorb that bizarre statement. "A demon what? Did you say demon robot? It wasn't another version of Ted, was it?"
"Nope. Just an ancient demon that got trapped in a robot body. I slayed it last year."
"Ah. Good for you then," Joyce replied in a distracted fashion. "And Ms. Calendar helped you?"
"That she did. That's why we don't know what to make of this whole gypsy clan business. Giles and Angel are gonna have a little powwow with her tomorrow; see what she's got to say for herself." Buffy resumed clearing her plate.
"If it's important, will you let me know what's going on?" Joyce prodded.
"Yes, Mom." She finished her meal and took her empty plate to the kitchen. "Now I gotta go suit up for the slaying. I'll see you later, okay?"
Joyce called after Buffy as she trotted upstairs. "Are you going alone, tonight? You'll have one of the others with you?"
Buffy called back. "Sure!" No need to tell her mother the other person was going to be Angel…
Willow was hard at work at her computer when she heard the gentle rapping on her windowpane. She looked up and smiled when she saw the familiar face of Angel staring solemnly at her. Opening the window, she whispered, "Angel! Hey! I didn't think I was going to be seeing you again tonight. Shouldn't you be patrolling with Buffy?"
"She can take things solo for one night, Willow." He pitched his voice equally low. He remembered what Willow had said about not having boys in her room. He could smell that this room hadn't seen any male company other than himself and he was frankly a little baffled by it. Willow may have been shy but she was very pretty and extremely smart. He thought she'd be a fine catch for any boy. Too bad Xander Harris was completely oblivious. Angel had noticed how Willow's eyes followed the boy whenever he was around. He didn't see what made Harris so special except that he was singularly brave. But the boy was as dumb as a stump when it came to women if he couldn't see what a terrific girl Willow was.
Then Angel saw the picture of Jenny Calendar on the computer screen and nodded towards it. "Any luck with Ms. Calendar?"
"Um, not really. After you and Buffy took off, Giles told me what she'd told him at their dinner. Everything checks out: her schooling, her teacher credentials, all that. She was in New York University teaching Computer Sciences up until 1996." She peered at the screen, frowned and tapped a key, bringing up an enlarged view of an inset. "That's funny."
Angel moved behind her. "What's funny?"
"Angel, we spoke about the hover-y thing, remember?" Willow waved him back. "Well, Ms. Calendar was a whiz at teaching. She even won commendations. Then, in the middle of the school year, she suddenly applied for a transfer to Los Angeles that same year. Her transcript lists the reason as 'Family business.' Then in 1997 she transfers again to Sunnydale." She turned her head to see Angel frozen in the middle of her room. "A-Angel? What is it? Is this t-the kind of thing you were looking for?"
"Yes, it is. I was living in New York in 1996. Then…I moved to Los Angeles that same year. I moved to Sunnydale in 1997."
There was more to the story than that, things he didn't want Willow to know. How could he explain to her how he'd been sent to help Buffy and how he'd reached that decision after seeing her when she was only 15? The notion that he'd been following and spying on Buffy back then wouldn't look good to anyone. He could only imagine what Mrs. Summers would say about it.
He recalled how his soul had responded to the tiny blond girl as she perched on the steps of Hemery High sucking on a lollipop. Her very attitude was one of a carefree Lolita and he'd wondered at the odd pull he'd felt towards her. Angel hadn't been attracted to a woman for an untold number of years. The idea that this child should stir him was disturbing, to say the least.
Later, when he realized she was a Slayer, he'd been shocked and frightened. She was sworn to kill his kind. The last thing he should do was get involved with her; she'd kill him on sight. Yet that strange yearning had continued. His aching soul was both roused and soothed by her and he had to understand why. Before he knew it, he'd been running back to Whistler declaring his desire to help her.
Willow wondered what Angel was thinking about. After his short revelation, he had lapsed back into stillness. He certainly brought impenetrability to a whole new level. "So you're in New York, then Los Angeles, then Sunnydale and Ms. Calendar's flight plan follows yours. I guess we can rule out coincidences, huh?" She sagged slightly as she realized what this meant about her teacher.
Angel noticed the sadness. "I'm sorry, Willow. You must be really fond of this Ms. Calendar."
"Yes. No. I mean, that's not… She's a good teacher, ya know? She's really great at what she does and takes time out to encourage the kids and help the ones who aren't always that fast on the draw and you can tell she really enjoys what she does and she's one of the few who doesn't think Buffy's some sort of criminal 'cause of the trouble she's been in and I don't want to think she had a-a secret agenda for all that 'cause you can't fake that kind of caring!" The rapid stream of words came to an abrupt halt and Willow's lower lip trembled. She looked both angry and about to cry.
"Willow, calm down. I'm not saying she's a fake. Her credentials are real. You've found that out yourself and you say she's a good teacher so we know that's on the level. It's just all the moving around she's been doing that should have us concerned. She's definitely been on my trail for a few years now and the Kalderash aren't exactly my friends. If she's after me, it can't be for anything good—and we can't ignore the fact that she may be interested in Buffy as well."
"You're right. I know that. I just think when we all talk to her tomorrow…"
Angel raised an eyebrow. "We? It's just going to be Giles and me."
Her lip firmed and she tilted her chin up, a stubborn expression settling on her face. "Nuh uh, buddy. I think Ms. Calendar deserves to have somebody on her side when you two go all Hill Street Blues-y on her. I want her to know she's got friends in her corner."
"But I don't think—"
"Hey, I've got Resolve Face on, mister." She pointed at her face. "You don't want to mess with that."
His expression was puzzled and just a little amused. "Resolve Face?"
Her semi-fierce look melted slightly as she giggled. "That's what Xander always calls it. When I get this face on, nobody messes with me." She resumed the stern expression and it was his turn to smile.
"All right. But if it turns out that Ms. Calendar is a Kalderash gypsy, things could get dicey. They were capable of throwing some mean curses back in the day. You sure you want to get in the middle of that?"
Her look of resolution faltered a little; she hadn't considered that. "Um, well, let's cross that bridge when we come to it. But I'm still coming to the library tomorrow," she added.
She was determined and Angel silently admired her courage. It wasn't the same as Buffy's but Willow was obviously a tough customer when she wanted to be. He strode to the window. "Thanks again for the help." He recalled another reason he'd come and said, "Since you were talking about Xander, I wanted to know something."
"What?" She knew he and Xander weren't on good terms and wondered what Angel wanted to know.
Keeping his face purposely bland Angel asked, "What's this about Xander and Inca mummy girls and insect women?"
Buffy was nervous all day. She wasn't that great at hiding what she felt and she was glad she didn't have to take Ms. Calendar's computer class. She wasn't sure she'd be able to disguise her nervousness in front of that woman. And Angel had been really quiet during patrol last night. Well, Angel was always quiet but this time it had been as if he'd been distracted, his mind elsewhere than on her. Every time she pressed him about it, he'd gotten all avoid-y on her. She figured it was about the upcoming showdown with Ms. Calendar and finally dropped the matter.
Giles was equally disquieted. He didn't want to believe ill of this woman not when he'd gotten so involved with her. Ms. Calendar seemed so wholesome and normal—save for the technopagan practice, of course. For the first time he could understand Xander Harris's frustration when it came to dating on the Hellmouth. How did you know what sort of person you were dealing with until they showed their claws?
Entering her class, he paused to take her in. Ms. Calendar was dressed in a trim red blouse and loosely fitting brown skirt that brought out her dark coloring. She looked so—normal and genuinely concerned with her students. Could she really be a fraud? When class was dismissed, he squared his shoulders and dove into the fray. "J-Jenny, might I have a word?"
Her answering smile was open and warm. "You can have as many as you like, Rupert. What is it? Is it about our date?"
He was taken aback for a moment. He'd forgotten the arrangements they had made to meet again. Then he smiled as affably as he could to offset suspicion. "N-no, although I am looking forward to it. I wished to discuss another matter." He pulled her aside from the stream of students passing by them. "I've been giving due consideration to your conversation about Angelus and I think your concerns may be valid," he said in a low voice.
She was startled. Rupert was worried? Could it be true what the elder woman had said about Angel's soul? Feeling her stomach clenching at what this might mean, she tried to speak calmly. "Really? What brought this on? You didn't seem so convinced when I spoke to you."
"Foolish pride, I'm afraid. I thought it was an attack on my abilities as a Watcher. When I had time to consider your words rationally, I realized you might have due cause to be concerned. I'd like you to meet me in the library after hours so we can discuss and research." He watched her consider the request and then she nodded, smiling.
"Of course, Rupert. I'll be glad to help. Will any of the others be there? Willow, for instance?"
"No, it'll be just the two of us." It pained him to lie to her. But he and Angel needed to get to the bottom of this.
The book was laid out on the library table. Giles thought it was a bit too conspicuously set apart from the others but Angel had assured him it looked fine. He wiped his hands again and was glad of the tea he'd brewed. It would give him something to do with his hands and steady his nerves.
When the door swung open, he looked up, expecting to see Ms. Calendar. Instead his Slayer and Willow stood there and he frowned. "Willow, Buffy. Why are you here? Ms. Calendar will be here any minute."
"That makes the timing of the perfect, then 'cause we want to be here when we hear what she has to say for herself." Buffy sat down defiantly at the large library table and flipped through one of the books idly.
Giles's lips thinned. "I thought I made it clear that Angel and I would be handling this."
Willow said sharply, "Yep. Got that. And I thought I made it clear that there's no way I'm letting Ms. Calendar face the firing squad alone."
Giles replied with annoyance. "Willow, there's going to be no firing squad, as you put it. We just need to find out…"
"Find out what?" Jenny pushed open the door to see her favorite student, Buffy and Giles apparently engaged in some kind of face-off. They started when they saw her, Giles looking guilty, Willow defiant and worried and Buffy with a slightly furious expression.
"W-we need to find out more about Angel and his soul. The Watchers Diaries show precious little on the subject," Giles covered smoothly. He gestured at several books scattered on the library table. "Jenny, you said you'd been looking through my books about Angelus. Could you pick out the ones you've seen?"
Jenny moved to the table, unaware of Buffy's anxious gaze flitting about the library. The blond knew Angel was around somewhere. But where? She edged towards the weapons alcove, peeking inside to see if the vampire was hiding there. Nope. The place was like a small closet with nowhere to hide and she didn't see him anywhere.
Jenny picked up the book, one page opened to show an elegant sketch of Angel next to a detailed engraving of the tattoo on his right shoulder blade. "Yes, this is the one I saw. One of them, I mean," she added hurriedly.
"Ah. You're certain? I know he's been written about extensively but this book holds the most information of those in my own personal collection and it's the only one with a clear picture."
"Yes, I'm sure this was one."
"Except you never touched that book, Ms. Calendar. I can tell. Your odor is nowhere on it." The smooth, even voice came from above them and all four sets of eyes turned towards the library's upper balcony. Angel stood there, leaning on the balcony, bending his eyes on the computer teacher.
Jenny stepped back, her mouth dry. Angel shifted his stance slightly. Suddenly he was darting down the stairs in a curiously loping, gliding movement that reminded Willow of nothing so much as a springing tiger. The blur of movement ended with the vampire standing a few feet away from the startled teacher. He wasn't close enough to be in her personal space but his eyes hadn't moved from her and it was plain he'd catch her before she made it to the doors if she took it into her head to run.
She stammered, "R-Rupert? What is this? What's going on?" The question met with a snort from Buffy and a weary sigh from Giles. The vampire never moved at all while Willow worried her lower lip, now no longer as confident as when she had spoken to Angel only last night.
"Calendar. Kalderash. You didn't change it much, did you?" Angel murmured. "But then I suppose you never thought we'd figure it out." When the woman remained unmoving, the vampire continued. "We had Willow do a background check on you, Ms. Calendar. You moved around quite a bit in the last two years. East coast, west coast—and you seem to have been following me the whole time. Care to tell us why?"
Jenny's eyes flashed and the mock confusion she'd adopted fell away from her. "Oh, I see what this is. I'm undergoing an inquisition, am I?"
Willow blurted out, "No! D-definitely no inquisitioning here! We j-just want to get the f-facts. We're not accusing you of anything."
"I think you're accusing me of a lot," she snapped.
Buffy added, "I haven't yet. But give me a second and I'll chip right in."
"Is it true, Jenny?" Giles's quiet voice interrupted. She looked at him to see the repressed pain deep in his green eyes.
She hesitated and then a sigh welled up from her. Her demeanor underwent a subtle transformation as majesty and a kind of grief settled on her face. "Yes. It's true. I am Janna of the Kalderash people."
The library doors flew open and Xander sailed in, a box of donuts held in one hand. "Folks, I come bearing sugary treats." Seeing the tense faces, he babbled, "Ah, just in time for the showdown at the O.K. Corral, I see."
Jenny—or Janna—swung back to Giles, her newly won calm vanishing at the circle of Scoobies surrounding her. "What's the matter, Rupert? You couldn't talk to me alone? You had to drag in your entire gang to do this?"
"I assure you, Jenny, I very much wanted to confront you with no one but Angel. But Buffy was worried that y-you might intend him some harm and the others are here for her sake as well."
"Not me!" Willow cried. "Oh, I'm not saying I'm not in your corner, Buffy. But I totally wanted to let M-Ms. Calendar know I wasn't blaming her for anything. I'm not on board with the whole take-a-poke-at-the-teacher game they've got set up. I-I just wanted to help you, Ms. Calendar," she trailed off miserably.
Jenny smiled and reached out to grasp Willow's arm. "It's much appreciated, Willow. But it's unnecessary." She sighed again and gestured at the table. "I suppose I do owe you all an explanation. To tell the truth, it'll be a relief to stop pretending."
Pretending? The sadness flickered in Giles's eyes and was gone again before anyone noticed. Had it all been pretense with her then? Not only her part in their lives but her closeness to him? It was too personal a matter for him to ask in front of the others. Besides, they had far weightier matters to discuss.
Jenny sat at the table and picked up the book again. "You know that Angel pretty much vanished from public view, don't you, Giles?" The others had seated themselves as well. Only Buffy and Angel remained standing.
"If this is the part where you tell us about his soul re-installment, we're way ahead of you, lady," Buffy rapped out.
"Buffy," Giles warned.
"Rupert, please. She has a right to be upset. What you don't realize is that while your Watchers Council may have lost sight of him, my people have been keeping tabs on him since 1898 when we first cursed him." She said "we" as if she'd been part of the original gypsies who had caught Angelus in their trap. The word wasn't lost on Giles. She must take the curse very seriously to consider herself part of that ancient scenario.
Buffy was as aware of the slip as her Watcher. "Why? Did you want to make sure the curse would stick? It's not as if these things have an expiration date, you know."
"We know. B-but there is something else to the curse, something even Angelus—"
"Angel," Buffy countered, the hostility clear in her stance.
Jenny flicked a glance at the vampire who hadn't moved since the others sat down. His face had settled into its usual unmoving impassivity. Was he re-experiencing the night his path had crossed with the vaida and tribal wise woman as she'd cursed him? Was he angry at her? She couldn't tell and the uncertainty made her nervous. She turned back to the others including a visibly upset Buffy Summers.
"There was an addition to the curse, one we weren't aware of until it was too late." She took a deep breath. "This isn't exactly a short story. Are you sure you want to hear all of it?"
"I think we'd better," Giles replied.
"The 16-year-old girl Angelus…" she caught Buffy's fulminating glance and amended her statement. "The girl Angel killed was favored by our clan. She was meant to marry a 52-year-old man, wealthy and of high standing."
"An 16-year-old marrying some guy half a century old? What a cradle robber!" Xander exclaimed as he picked up a lemon-filled donut and crammed it in his mouth.
"Arranged marriages like that were the custom, Xander," Jenny pointed out. "The girls were promised off at a young age to keep them out of trouble and hold down on unwanted pregnancies with young boys who couldn't take care of a family properly. It was the tradition at the time."
"But still… Arranged to marry some older guy? I'm with Xander here. I mean, ewww," Willow added.
Jenny shook her head, dismissing their lack of acceptance. "Anyway, the girl, Yelena, had been secretly carrying on with a young man named Afron. He loved her desperately and begged the vaida—the tribal chieftain—to marry her. The man refused in spite of the boy's pleas. Afron tried to abduct Yelena but was caught and severely beaten for his pains."
In spite of her dislike of the woman, Buffy found herself drawn into the story. "Then what happened? I'm guessing they didn't wind up getting married and happily ever aftering."
"Angel happened," Jenny said and the others fell silent again as she continued with her story. "Afron made no more attempts to win Yelena and the others thought he had accepted his fate. Gypsies are a very pragmatic people for the most part. When the demon killed Yelena, Afron hated him. But he hated the Rom who had taken Yelena from him even more. There were some who said he thought that if Yelena had been given to him as he'd demanded instead of a feeble old man he could have protected her. Nonsense, of course," she snorted. "As if anyone could have stood against Angelus."
Buffy opened her mouth to protest the name again when Angel spoke for the first time since Jenny began her explanation. "She's right. I would have killed him, too. Or just tied him up and made him watch what I did to her and then killed him."
Willow gulped at the statement, so coldly rendered. "Deadboy, you give a new definition to the phrase 'live entertainment,' don't you?" Xander sniped.
"T-then what happened after Y-Yelena died?" Willow stammered.
"The girl was the daughter of the vaida. Her murder inflamed the tribe's people. Afron swore revenge, as did the entire clan. It was he who went off to find the means to afflict Angelus and no one thought to question it when he returned from his journey with curse in hand. He'd claimed to have found a sorcerer, squandered all his life savings for the curse and promised it would make the Beast suffer."
"The Beast? Liking that nickname, Deadboy!"
Buffy yelled, "Shut up, Xander!" and glared at the dark-haired Scooby. Xander ignored it and continued to munch on the donuts.
"What the elder woman didn't know, what none of them did, was that the sorcerer's curse came with a rider attached, words in a cryptic language that nobody understood. But they were all too grief-stricken to care or ask too many questions. Only after the spell was cast did Afron reveal how he had tricked them."
Giles pricked up his ears at her description. "Tricked? Y-you're saying the curse w-was a fake? But Angel's soul—"
"—Is very much there. We made certain of that. But the addition means that if he ever experiences one moment of happiness, just a single instance of pure bliss, then his soul is gone. Angelus returns."
This time the stillness was total and then the room erupted in questions and babblings from all sides. "Gone?" Xander squeaked. "As in gone and we have Psycho Angel on our hands? What the hell?!"
"He w-wanted Angel to stop suffering? W-why would he do that? I don't get it. That doesn't make any sense," Willow asked.
"I told you. He hated Angelus but he hated the entire tribe who'd robbed him of Yelena even more. From the moment we were told the truth about the curse, we have been forced to follow Angelus, watch him from a distance to make certain he never realizes that happiness. From then on, we could no longer follow our established routes. Our way of life had changed forever. We have been tied to the vampire just as surely as he's been tied to us. That is our curse," Jenny stated, her every word laced with bitterness.
"Whoa. Heavy stuff," Xander stated. The seriousness of the statement was spoiled by a small belch and he brushed crumbs from his mouth onto one of the books on the table. Giles grimaced and moved the tome beyond his reach before the boy did it any further damage.
"So that's why you're here in Sunnydale? Y-you are the latest in your family line t-to hold this vigil lest Angelus returns?" the Watcher queried.
"That's not going to happen," Angel murmured. "I haven't felt a moment of happiness since I was cursed. All the people I killed, all their faces—I see them practically every night. Those Romany knew how to level a curse." There was no anger in his voice only deep resignation.
"That's what we thought. B-but there have been signs that something has changed. The elder woman of my clan who monitors Angel's soul says that the darkness surrounding him is no longer as dense as it was. She says that his misery lightens."
Buffy had drawn closer to Angel but the vampire held her off with one hand, his face visibly baffled. "Like I said, not gonna happen. The only times I feel close to happiness…" He stopped and turned to Buffy, the realization spreading across his features. "The only times I approach happiness are when I'm with you, Buffy."
A flare of heat swept over her when she heard that. Buffy stared up into his face, joy flitting across her own. "Me?" Then she understood and clutched at his hand. "T-that's why you're here. You're not just watching Angel. You're keeping tabs on me, too. Aren't you?" Buffy glared at the woman.
Jenny didn't flinch. "I'm afraid so. If Angel knows true happiness again because of you, Buffy—it would be terrible for us all."
"Especially for you. Angelus still remembers what the clan did to him and my inner demon isn't happy about it. If I lost my soul, I'd come after you. That's why you get so frightened when you're around me," Angel surmised.
"She's not the only one, De-Angel," Xander said when he caught Buffy's look.
"Oh, Buffy. This, this is just awful," Willow murmured, her green eyes alight with sympathy. The redhead asked, "D-didn't the Kalderash ever try to change the curse so they didn't have to keep following Angel all the time? It must really suck for you folks to have to keep trailing after him like this. W-what about your families and kids and stuff? Isn't it really inconvenient for you to shift them around every time Angel goes on the move?"
Jenny sighed. "It is. Most of us marry within the clan because the family is aware of what we have to do. But many of us never marry so the burden is borne by us alone. I-it's easier that way, makes moving at a moment's notice quicker and more manageable. And believe me, we have thought of tampering with the curse. After over a century of trailing after Angelus like soldiers on the march, how could we not desire that it end? But the sorcerer who gave us the curse was unknown to us and Afron wouldn't tell who he was. When the truth was finally beaten out of him and the gypsies tried to seek the magician out, he'd vanished. Without his knowledge, tampering with the curse was simply too risky. We didn't know if we could fix it without jogging loose the soul."
"And you've been in Sunnydale since Angel got here. You've been spying on him and posing as our friend. You knew I was—with him. Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Buffy ground out. [Yeah, sooner. Before I knew him. Before I fell in love with him. Before I got my heart so twisted up over him just the idea of losing him hurts too much to think about.] Angel must have sensed her distress. He squeezed her hand gently and she smiled tremulously as she responded in kind.
"It wasn't that easy," Jenny began.
Buffy cut her off. "What's of the difficult? You knew who I was. You could have just said, 'Ms. Summers, I know you're a Slayer. I'm a gypsy and I know about Angel's soul. He can't be happy because he'll go all grrrr and kill people again.' This was so hard to tell us?" She wanted to scream at the woman for doing this to her. Hadn't it been hard enough to be with Angel without having this load added to the pile of suckage that was her life?
"I hoped it wasn't true, that Angel didn't love you the way you obviously loved him. I got too close to you, Buffy—to you all. I honestly didn't want to hurt you by telling you this. And the Kalderash has hidden this secret for so long. We simply don't discuss this with the gadje."
"The God who?" Xander asked.
"Gadje. Outsiders. People like you," she elaborated.
Xander nodded. "Oh. Got it. That's us, the ultimate outsiders. Geeks and freaks in the house."
"She's not talking about social outcasts, Xander," Giles corrected. "She means people who are not of the Romany. They've been beyond the pale of the general public for centuries. They have rules and codes of behavior that make them close ranks against normal society. Jenny was probably forbidden to tell us about this."
"Not forbidden per se. There aren't any laws against talking to outsiders. It's just that we've been persecuted and misunderstood for so long the habit of keeping ourselves secret is pretty much ingrained. I didn't speak out because of habit not stricture."
Angel moved closer so that he stood beside her but not so close so as to invade her space. "So what happens now? What do you intend to do?"
"I don't know. Now that you know the truth, what happens next is up to you and Buffy. I was only sent to watch."
The vampire bent his head and walked towards the door. As always, Buffy couldn't just let him leave. "Angel, wait! This is serious. We have to sort this out. We can't just—"
Angel cut her off, albeit as gently as he could. "Buffy, you heard her. Until we can figure out a way to keep you safe, there is no we." The light had gone out of her eyes, deadening them to a dull gray. A master of bearing his own misery, he was unable to tolerate hers. Angel drew her close and kissed her with all the passion of his heart, uncaring of the people watching. The embrace grew fervent until they were both dizzy. He pulled away from her and whispered, "I'm sorry." Then he exited the library without another word.
Buffy's heart sank. She hadn't had many goodbye kisses in her life but that certainly felt like one. Angel was giving up and before they even had a chance to discuss things! She didn't know whether to be angry at him or the teacher/gypsy woman who'd just wrecked her life—again.
Willow nudged Xander and stood up, straightening out her plain green-and-gray skirt. "C'mon, Xander. W-we should be getting Audi. We've got classes tomorrow and stuff and—stuff. 'Bye, Giles."
Xander started and snatched up the donuts. Pausing, he removed three and laid them on the table. "Um, G-man, I got you the jellies 'cause I know you like 'em. So you and Ms. Calendar can just, uh, you know, make yourself a little night snack 'cause you must have things to go over and things and I'll just be shutting up and going now." He snatched up the box and ran after Willow.
Buffy avoided looking at either Ms. Calendar or Giles as she picked up her things. Giles made an effort to sound out his charge. "Buffy, I know this is bad news but perhaps you should take Angel's advice."
"Giles. Not now. T-this is too much for one evening. I'm just gonna… I'll see you tomorrow." The library doors swung shut leaving the two adults staring at each other. Giles began gathering up the books he'd left on the table, preparing to return them to their proper places.
The silence was stretching out between them, threatening to become unbearable and wounding. "Rupert, I-I'm more sorry than I can say that I didn't tell you sooner."
"Yes, you should have. For Buffy's sake if not my own. Do you have any idea how devastating this news is for her? For better or worse, she loves Angel."
"You make it sound as if they were married." Her attempt at humor fell flat as Giles's stiff expression turned harsh.
"I'm glad you can be so amused. I can't imagine what it must be like to know your lover is a creature unlike other men, that there are things he can never give you or experience with you simply because he isn't human. Think what it must be like for a Slayer to fall in love with one of her sworn enemies against all precedent, reason, sense and the advice of her friends and family."
He paused to rally his thoughts. When he spoke again, his voice had attained a certain measure of calm. "The calling of a Slayer is a desperately lonely one. In spite of Buffy's companions helping her, I can sense her isolation. Angel's situation makes him uniquely suited to her and I feel that their love strengthens her in a way the rest of us do not. But still the nature of their relationship brings her a pain that none of us can alleviate—and that anguish might have been avoided if you'd only come forward sooner." He walked from her to his office, carrying the heavy books to replace them on the shelves.
Jenny gritted her jaw and followed him, determined to make him see her point of view. "What was I supposed to say, Rupert? I didn't follow Angel twenty-four hours of the day or night. The fact that he was here in Sunnydale fighting evil was a surprise. Finding out that he was doing it alongside Buffy was an even greater shock. I didn't know who or what she was or how she felt about him until it was far too late and by then…" She stopped and slumped against the doorjamb. "By then, there were other complications," she muttered.
"What other complications?" He sat at his small office desk and folded his hands.
"You and me," she replied bluntly.
He raised his eyebrows. This, he hadn't expected. "Y-you and I? I wasn't aware my presence posed a problem for you." He recalled what he had thought earlier and felt his heart shrivel slightly. "You spoke of pretense earlier. Was that what our supposed relationship was? A pretense so you could get close to and spy on Buffy?"
"No. T-that was the complication." Jenny gnawed her lip as she struggled to articulate her emotions. "I was—am—genuinely fond of you, Rupert. And everything about the outside world is wonderful and fascinating. People have this romantic idea of gypsies leading this vagabond and carefree existence, going wherever our fancy takes us, getting a thrill over stealing and putting one over on stupid outsiders and other nonsense. But our society is as hidebound and highly structured as any other. More so even. Men and women have set places within its walls and at times I felt so smothered, I could have screamed. Even though following Angelus is supposed to be our curse, I was actually relieved when I was picked. It meant I could escape."
She stepped closer, a smile drifting over her face as she recalled what her first taste of freedom was like. "On the outside, among all of you, I could do as I wanted, what I pleased. I could study things that were forbidden to the women of my clan. I could talk to men, flirt with them, without fear of reprisals or rebuke from my elders. It was heady; it was glorious." Her smile slipped as she thought of her uncle. "And it wasn't real."
That odd pang struck him again. "Your life was fake? Or only the associations you formed within it?"
She focused on the chill in his voice. She didn't know Rupert all that well. She'd only gone out with him on a few dates, after all. But she could sense the tenderness that lay deeply within him, had seen his remorse when Eyghon had threatened her life and knew now that his coldness stemmed from the pain she'd given him rather than hurt pride.
"I meant that I was operating under false pretenses, that I was lying to people I—cared about. It wasn't fair of me to come to you when I wasn't free, when I had a mission that interfered with yours. I was in danger of forgetting why I was doing all this in the first place. In the end, I was more constrained by my people than ever because of what was happening with Angel. I was caught in a double trap. I couldn't tell my people what was truly holding me back from dealing with the situation and I couldn't tell you about the Kalderash."
Jenny stepped closer. She wanted nothing more than to touch Rupert, if only on the hand, to see whether he shrank from her. But she didn't dare. She felt as awkward and unsure of herself as a schoolgirl and she hated it. "I do care about you, Rupert. More than I realized and more than I ever wanted to. It made dealing with this, this, whole Angel mess an absolute hell. And I couldn't be blasé about lying to my clan about it the way you are to the Council. The Kalderash clan hasn't been a part of my life like your Council training. They are my life and my rebellion, unlike yours, has only lasted a few short months."
Giles bristled at the implication. "Are you trying to draw a parallel between the arcane, mystical existence of the Council—"
"—And a hidden society of Romany that stretches back countless generations? Yeah, guess I am," she finished tartly. She sat on the desk and stared down at him, her arms folded. "Rupert, I know that keeping quiet the way I did could have had dire consequences and I'm relieved the truth is finally known although this wasn't the way I would have chosen to spill the beans. But I'm not asking for forgiveness for following my sworn duty. Only a little understanding."
He removed his glasses and began polishing, his common reaction to stress. "I do understand. Believe me. It's just—I have a duty to my Slayer and things are bad enough for her as it is without this needless difficulty added to her burdens." He finished the polishing but didn't put the glasses back to their proper place only continued to hold them dangling from his fingers.
"I realize this business of Angel's soul is in no way your fault. It was done by your ancestors and you're as helpless to fix the curse as Buffy is to control her feelings for Angel. But as I said, I have a duty to help her and this is going to be unspeakably painful for her. I don't know how I can help her to handle things."
Jenny was sympathetic and this time she did touch his hand, gently removing the glasses and laying them safely out of the way. "You care about her, don't you?"
He nodded, sighing heavily. "I do."
"Then I am sorry, Rupert. I wish I knew how I could help." She squeezed his hand and he smiled faintly at her.
"I have a feeling the others will be eager to do their part."
Willow ran after Buffy. The Slayer only had a little head start but she'd already managed to outpace her two friends. "Buffy, wait up!"
"Yeah, Buff. These boots are made for walking not running the marathon!" Xander called out. It took heavy jogging on both their parts before they caught up with the despondent Slayer.
"Buffy, I-I can't imagine how you must feel."
"Good, 'cause I'm not sure how I feel," Buffy snapped, her head bent towards the ground. "I mean, I know how I feel. I'm angry and upset and there's bound to be tears coming up soon and there's the whole part where I'm wondering how long Angel intends to do the avoid-y act on account of he may lose his soul."
"I know. Poor Angel," Willow said, her voice laden with sympathy as she patted Buffy on the arm.
"Poor Angel? How about poor Ms. Calendar? It couldn't be easy for her to hang around Deadboy knowing he could lose his soul accessory any time and suck on her like she's a milkshake."
"Xander, that kinda is Ms. Calendar's fault. She should have told us Angel's soul could go bye-bye. Not the kind of secret you should keep," Willow remarked as she strove to keep the piece between her two best friends.
"Xander, doesn't it bother you the tiniest little bit that Ms. Calendar lied to us? That she wasn't the person she said she was?" Buffy asked.
"C'mon, Buffy. We all have secrets. It's not like you came out and told me you were the Slayer in school that first day you arrived," Xander shot back.
"That's because I didn't want to be the Slayer. Being the Slayer got my old school gym burned down, me expelled and my Watcher killed. I wanted to be Normal Girl again not Buffy the Freak Show."
"Sorta like Ms. Calendar wanted to be?" Xander pointed out meaningfully. "I get the feeling she was loving the whole normalcy routine, too."
Buffy protested, "That's different! She was hiding something that could have gotten us all killed!"
The brunette boy was quick to seize on Buffy's slip. "At last she sees the light! Angel is a killer! A vampire who kills people! I was beginning to think that part of Deadboy sorta slipped your attention."
Buffy clenched her hands. Not for the first time she really wanted to punch Xander for his anti-Angel remarks. Once again she restrained the urge. "You know what? I'm not gonna talk with you about this, Alexander Harris. You've always been too big on the hate-Angel train so this convo is officially over." She picked up the pace and began walking rapidly away from them again.
"Buffy, please." Willow pulled on the blonde Slayer's arm. "I can't imagine h-how awful this must be for you. But there's got to be a way around this. When I get the chance, I'll do the research thing with Giles and we'll look through all his spell books until we find something except for the really dark magic books 'cause he never lets me near those."
This was surprising news to Buffy. "You and Giles have been practicing magic? How come I didn't know about this?"
Xander was equally taken aback. "Same here, Wills. I had no idea you were a Sabrina-in-training. When have you and the Watcherman been making with the hocus pocus?"
"Well, not so much of the practicing really. Just a little studying during our off hours. After the things with Amy's mom a-and Moloch and Xander being H-hyena Boy and Eyghon, I told Giles it might be of the good if he weren't the only spellcaster in the bunch. So he's been showing me a few things—nothing big," she added hastily.
"So can we expect you to throw flaming balls of death from you hands any time, Wills?" Xander asked, waving his hands at her extremities.
"Uh, no. Not really up to being a human torch, Xander."
He snapped his fingers in mock disappointment. "Damn! That would have been such a cool party trick! Especially if we could set Cordelia's hair on fire."
They both laughed and Buffy drifted away from them in spirit if not in body. The problem with Angel was forgotten for the moment and she shoved her pain deep inside where it would have to stay until she could talk this out with him. She hoped Willow could come up with a solution. She prayed Giles would agree to help.
She wrapped her arms around her, warding off an imaginary chill. They just had to fix this. She couldn't bear for Angel to be deliberately unhappy but, as long as the chance existed that she might make him happy, then he would continue to stay apart from her. For Buffy, a life without Angel would be simply torture.
TBC