Artemis strolled down the wide, Parisian road confidently. He loved the
feeling of accomplishment, of power that he got after completing one of his
various criminal plots. In this case, it had been the absurdly easy matter
of forging another painting for the Louvre. Small matter, if viewed in the
light of the more...adventurous criminal exploits he had embarked upon since
his eleventh birthday.
At sixteen years of age, Artemis Fowl the Second was a criminal the likes
of which had never been seen before, not even comparable to his father,
Artemis Fowl the First, who had been his hero and role model for years.
Suddenly, his mobile phone vibrated in his pocket.
'Fowl.'
'Arty, darling, I just had the strangest phone call from your headmaster.
He said something about you going missing four the tenth time this term.
Shall I send him a nasty e-mail again?'
Well, every criminal hero had to have his or her weaknesses. In Artemis's
case, it was parents.
'No mother. Tell him I will be back presently. We're leaving now anyway.'
'Well be careful. I thought you said Butler had taken care of this?'
There was a slight tone of annoyance in his mother's voice.
'Sorry mother I must go now. We're at the airport. I'll see you in a couple
of hours.'
'Bye bye, Arty. And be careful!'
'Goodbye, mother' Artemis found it extremely hard to keep the exasperation
out of his tone. He turned to Butler, his huge manservant, who was striding
inconspicuously along beside him. Or at least, as inconspicuously as a man
of Butler's constitution could.
'Shall we be irresponsible and take a taxi, or do you have a man waiting
somewhere?'
'My man is just around the corner, same spot as the last assignments.'
It was true that Artemis had been having a lot of business in the French
capital lately. It reminded him of one of his assignments at the side of
Captain Holly Short, a fairy from the LEP Recon. It had been years since
the last time they met, mainly because she thought he had been mind wiped
just after their last assignment two years ago. However, Artemis Fowl the
Second had not forgotten, and he was determined not to let this advantage
go to waste.
But for now there was the small, annoying little problem of his schooling.
Artemis Fowl wore a considerable frown as he got into the black, blanked-
out car waiting for him by the sidewalk.
Artemis woke up with a start. He hadn't been used to dormitory life for a while. In fact, he never thought he'd ever get used to it. Only two more years, he repeated to himself. Only two more years and then you'll be free, my friend. He could see the other boys getting out of bed and traipsing towards the bathroom, and started to do the same. It was at times like this that he longed for the freedom he had had four years ago, when his father was still missing and his mother still mad. True, he was extremely glad that they were both back to their normal selves again (well at least his mother was. His father had been, he suspected, changed considerably by the fairy magic given to him by Holly when she rescued him). However, he detested school life with all his heart, no matter how considerably small that would make it. He reached for his atrocious school uniform, feeling a pang of yearning for his habitual Armani suit. This kind of life was starting to irritate him more than usual, which he's thought would be impossible.
Artemis just wasn't cut out for life among other people his own age. For one thing, there was his insurmountable intellect, which, in his opinion, no teenager in the world would be able to hold. And then there was his character. Most children, while they're growing up, have other people their own age around them that go through their same problems, etc. They learn how to socialise properly, and make friends. However Artemis had been surrounded by adults his entire life; first his parents and then only Butler. The only person below the age of thirty in the Fowl Mansion was Juliet, whom Artemis had always considered a spoilt little teenager, even though she was four years his senior. So it didn't come to anyone's surprise that now Artemis was having incredible difficulty in making any sort of friends. Of course, his ongoing criminal activities kept him away from school most of the time, but when he was actually in the grounds he tended to confine himself to the library, soaking up the most difficult texts (which were actually really easy for a person of his intelligence). It was no wonder they called him the weird guy. So, it was with a somewhat melancholy heart that Artemis walked down to the food hall that morning, fully intending to sit in some dark, quiet corner and finish off reading 'The Basics of Heart Surgery: A Practical Guide for Third Year Students'. However, just seconds after he'd sat down with his lukewarm toast; his reading was suddenly obstructed by a shadow hovering in front of him. He looked up. Standing in front of him was a girl with brown pigtails (held in place by brown hair bobbles with the Louis Vuitton logo on them) and a big silk scarf tied around the straps of her shoulder bag. 'Sorry, but is this seat taken?' she gestured towards the seat in front of him. Needless to say, Artemis was completely taken aback. 'Um...' Um. A person finally comes and talks to him and he, Artemis Fowl the Second, with a vocabulary the likes of which no teenager had ever seen before, was only capable to come up with that pathetically moronic two letter....not even word. 'Well, I'll just sit down here anyway. Thank you!' The girl plonked herself on the chair before Artemis could find any more colloquial stupidities to say. He stared at her like she was some sort of ghost. 'Are you all right? You look really pale.' She squinted at him in the semi- darkness of his own, private little corner. Annoyance started to seep into his mind. 'I am perfectly fine, thank you. Who on earth are you?' He gave her one of his usual glacial stares. However, she seemed not to get the hint. 'Hi! My name's Maria. I'm kind of new.' No duh, he thought. In Juliet's words, of course. 'Who are you?' 'Artemis Fowl' The Second, he wanted to add. But it didn't look like she was the sort of person who cared about heritage or family names. 'Oh. Right. Well, pleased to meet you!' Artemis's face went blank. She had never heard of his name. Ever. Even the stupid single celled organisms that inhabited his dormitory had heard of his family's name. His family's history. This was getting too weird for him. 'Excuse me, but why on earth are you not sitting with the others?' 'Um, well, it's because I'm kind of new. You should know what they're like; you seem to be the outcast here.' Artemis almost bristled. He was not going to let this person make him lose his normal cool. 'Speak for yourself. How come you just moved here?' 'I've been following my parents around the world. You know, six months here, four months there. My dad's in the army, you know.' Suddenly Artemis was curious. If there was one thing he was interested in (and there were many) it was military strategy. It would be nice to have a good chat with this Maria's dad. 'So, um, what are you reading?' She indicated his book. 'A heart surgery textbook for third year medical students.' He waited for the look of surprise he saw in everyone's faces when he mentioned what he was reading, but it didn't come. This person was starting to really annoy him. 'That sounds cool. So, are you into medicine then?' He resisted the strong, compelling urge to stare at her blankly. 'Yes. Yes I am. Why, are you? 'Ooooh yes, as a matter of fact. Not just heart surgery though. I've just finished Paediatrics for Undergraduates. Have you read it?' Artemis gave in and stared at her. 'No. I'm not very interested in paediatrics.' She smiled. 'Really? Well, it's really, really fascinating. If you like kids, I mean.' 'I loathe children.' I don't even like people of my own age, he thought. Suddenly the bell rang. 'Oh crap, I've forgotten what I've got next.' She rummaged in her bag for a piece of paper. 'Oh right. Art it is then. Do you take it?' Artemis shook his head, still unable to believe he'd just had that conversation. 'Well, see you around then!' She got up and walked out of the hall. Artemis just sat there, paralysed. There was actually someone in the whole wide world, someone his age, who had the same cranial capacity as him. Unbelievable. He checked his schedule. Since he only had a free period next, he thought it might be in order to take the Bentley and go visit Butler. The Fowl mansion was only thirty minutes away.
Butler put the weights down. Since that assignment two years ago, when he'd died and been brought back to life by Holly Short, he'd never been his true self again. Sure, his character was perfectly normal, but there was no way he could achieve the same physical accomplishments he had been capable of before the incident. Suddenly he jumped at the sight of the red Bentley parking itself in the front drive. Who on earth...then hit him. Artemis. That boy just was not cut out for schools. Or any kind of public place which held more than two people of his own age. He didn't even have a driving licence, for God's sake. He could get put in juvenile for this. Butler marched outside, fully intent on giving him a scolding, but then he saw his master's face. 'Artemis, what's happened to you?' 'In the study, now.' Butler followed dutifully. This meant something bad had happened. Possibly another week out of school. Guiltily, Butler admitted to himself that he really wouldn't mind if they had to go on another adventure. He loathed the times when Artemis had to be at school. He sat down opposite his master in the dark study which Artemis had taken over from his dad when he's gone missing, and never really given him back. 'What's the problem?' 'I talked to a girl today.' Butler wanted to laugh. Or maybe cry. Poor girl. 'Artemis, so what?' 'She's reading a book for undergraduate paediatrics students.' 'She is your age, right?' Artemis nodded. He seemed so...shaken. Trust Artemis to get thrown by someone who shows signs of having an intellect such as himself. 'She hadn't even heard of my family's name. Ever.' 'First of all, Artemis, you were bound to meet someone who was as intelligent as you. And secondly, has she been abroad lately?' 'Yes. Her dad's in the army.' 'Well, there are your answers. What lesson are you supposed to be in now anyway?' 'Free period' Butler knew he should start saying something along the lines of Free period does not exactly mean you are free to do what you want, but he couldn't. He got immeasurably bored when Artemis was away. The only distractions were Juliet and Mrs Fowl, but they were in Paris now, buying the last remaining items for Mrs Fowl's winter wardrobe. 'So. About this girl, then. Is she pretty?' Artemis frowned, obviously not comprehending what that had to do with the matter. 'I didn't notice. Why?' Butler chuckled. Trust Artemis not to worry about whether a girl is pretty or not, but to be completely thrown the minute she showed signs of being as intelligent as him. 'Well, usually, Artemis, boys your age would verify whether a girl that's talking to them is pretty or not.' The minute he said this he knew it would have no effect. Artemis just wasn't like boys his age. He'd never even spoken to a girl apart from Holly and Juliet up till now. 'I don't care what boys my age do. I thought, she might be useful for one of our next assignments. You know. Intelligent, dad in the army. She might have connections.' 'Obviously. Where is she from?'
Artemis woke up with a start. He hadn't been used to dormitory life for a while. In fact, he never thought he'd ever get used to it. Only two more years, he repeated to himself. Only two more years and then you'll be free, my friend. He could see the other boys getting out of bed and traipsing towards the bathroom, and started to do the same. It was at times like this that he longed for the freedom he had had four years ago, when his father was still missing and his mother still mad. True, he was extremely glad that they were both back to their normal selves again (well at least his mother was. His father had been, he suspected, changed considerably by the fairy magic given to him by Holly when she rescued him). However, he detested school life with all his heart, no matter how considerably small that would make it. He reached for his atrocious school uniform, feeling a pang of yearning for his habitual Armani suit. This kind of life was starting to irritate him more than usual, which he's thought would be impossible.
Artemis just wasn't cut out for life among other people his own age. For one thing, there was his insurmountable intellect, which, in his opinion, no teenager in the world would be able to hold. And then there was his character. Most children, while they're growing up, have other people their own age around them that go through their same problems, etc. They learn how to socialise properly, and make friends. However Artemis had been surrounded by adults his entire life; first his parents and then only Butler. The only person below the age of thirty in the Fowl Mansion was Juliet, whom Artemis had always considered a spoilt little teenager, even though she was four years his senior. So it didn't come to anyone's surprise that now Artemis was having incredible difficulty in making any sort of friends. Of course, his ongoing criminal activities kept him away from school most of the time, but when he was actually in the grounds he tended to confine himself to the library, soaking up the most difficult texts (which were actually really easy for a person of his intelligence). It was no wonder they called him the weird guy. So, it was with a somewhat melancholy heart that Artemis walked down to the food hall that morning, fully intending to sit in some dark, quiet corner and finish off reading 'The Basics of Heart Surgery: A Practical Guide for Third Year Students'. However, just seconds after he'd sat down with his lukewarm toast; his reading was suddenly obstructed by a shadow hovering in front of him. He looked up. Standing in front of him was a girl with brown pigtails (held in place by brown hair bobbles with the Louis Vuitton logo on them) and a big silk scarf tied around the straps of her shoulder bag. 'Sorry, but is this seat taken?' she gestured towards the seat in front of him. Needless to say, Artemis was completely taken aback. 'Um...' Um. A person finally comes and talks to him and he, Artemis Fowl the Second, with a vocabulary the likes of which no teenager had ever seen before, was only capable to come up with that pathetically moronic two letter....not even word. 'Well, I'll just sit down here anyway. Thank you!' The girl plonked herself on the chair before Artemis could find any more colloquial stupidities to say. He stared at her like she was some sort of ghost. 'Are you all right? You look really pale.' She squinted at him in the semi- darkness of his own, private little corner. Annoyance started to seep into his mind. 'I am perfectly fine, thank you. Who on earth are you?' He gave her one of his usual glacial stares. However, she seemed not to get the hint. 'Hi! My name's Maria. I'm kind of new.' No duh, he thought. In Juliet's words, of course. 'Who are you?' 'Artemis Fowl' The Second, he wanted to add. But it didn't look like she was the sort of person who cared about heritage or family names. 'Oh. Right. Well, pleased to meet you!' Artemis's face went blank. She had never heard of his name. Ever. Even the stupid single celled organisms that inhabited his dormitory had heard of his family's name. His family's history. This was getting too weird for him. 'Excuse me, but why on earth are you not sitting with the others?' 'Um, well, it's because I'm kind of new. You should know what they're like; you seem to be the outcast here.' Artemis almost bristled. He was not going to let this person make him lose his normal cool. 'Speak for yourself. How come you just moved here?' 'I've been following my parents around the world. You know, six months here, four months there. My dad's in the army, you know.' Suddenly Artemis was curious. If there was one thing he was interested in (and there were many) it was military strategy. It would be nice to have a good chat with this Maria's dad. 'So, um, what are you reading?' She indicated his book. 'A heart surgery textbook for third year medical students.' He waited for the look of surprise he saw in everyone's faces when he mentioned what he was reading, but it didn't come. This person was starting to really annoy him. 'That sounds cool. So, are you into medicine then?' He resisted the strong, compelling urge to stare at her blankly. 'Yes. Yes I am. Why, are you? 'Ooooh yes, as a matter of fact. Not just heart surgery though. I've just finished Paediatrics for Undergraduates. Have you read it?' Artemis gave in and stared at her. 'No. I'm not very interested in paediatrics.' She smiled. 'Really? Well, it's really, really fascinating. If you like kids, I mean.' 'I loathe children.' I don't even like people of my own age, he thought. Suddenly the bell rang. 'Oh crap, I've forgotten what I've got next.' She rummaged in her bag for a piece of paper. 'Oh right. Art it is then. Do you take it?' Artemis shook his head, still unable to believe he'd just had that conversation. 'Well, see you around then!' She got up and walked out of the hall. Artemis just sat there, paralysed. There was actually someone in the whole wide world, someone his age, who had the same cranial capacity as him. Unbelievable. He checked his schedule. Since he only had a free period next, he thought it might be in order to take the Bentley and go visit Butler. The Fowl mansion was only thirty minutes away.
Butler put the weights down. Since that assignment two years ago, when he'd died and been brought back to life by Holly Short, he'd never been his true self again. Sure, his character was perfectly normal, but there was no way he could achieve the same physical accomplishments he had been capable of before the incident. Suddenly he jumped at the sight of the red Bentley parking itself in the front drive. Who on earth...then hit him. Artemis. That boy just was not cut out for schools. Or any kind of public place which held more than two people of his own age. He didn't even have a driving licence, for God's sake. He could get put in juvenile for this. Butler marched outside, fully intent on giving him a scolding, but then he saw his master's face. 'Artemis, what's happened to you?' 'In the study, now.' Butler followed dutifully. This meant something bad had happened. Possibly another week out of school. Guiltily, Butler admitted to himself that he really wouldn't mind if they had to go on another adventure. He loathed the times when Artemis had to be at school. He sat down opposite his master in the dark study which Artemis had taken over from his dad when he's gone missing, and never really given him back. 'What's the problem?' 'I talked to a girl today.' Butler wanted to laugh. Or maybe cry. Poor girl. 'Artemis, so what?' 'She's reading a book for undergraduate paediatrics students.' 'She is your age, right?' Artemis nodded. He seemed so...shaken. Trust Artemis to get thrown by someone who shows signs of having an intellect such as himself. 'She hadn't even heard of my family's name. Ever.' 'First of all, Artemis, you were bound to meet someone who was as intelligent as you. And secondly, has she been abroad lately?' 'Yes. Her dad's in the army.' 'Well, there are your answers. What lesson are you supposed to be in now anyway?' 'Free period' Butler knew he should start saying something along the lines of Free period does not exactly mean you are free to do what you want, but he couldn't. He got immeasurably bored when Artemis was away. The only distractions were Juliet and Mrs Fowl, but they were in Paris now, buying the last remaining items for Mrs Fowl's winter wardrobe. 'So. About this girl, then. Is she pretty?' Artemis frowned, obviously not comprehending what that had to do with the matter. 'I didn't notice. Why?' Butler chuckled. Trust Artemis not to worry about whether a girl is pretty or not, but to be completely thrown the minute she showed signs of being as intelligent as him. 'Well, usually, Artemis, boys your age would verify whether a girl that's talking to them is pretty or not.' The minute he said this he knew it would have no effect. Artemis just wasn't like boys his age. He'd never even spoken to a girl apart from Holly and Juliet up till now. 'I don't care what boys my age do. I thought, she might be useful for one of our next assignments. You know. Intelligent, dad in the army. She might have connections.' 'Obviously. Where is she from?'