Title: Again

Chapter Seven: And God knows how I cried…

Author: Jaycee

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On Thursday morning, Josie called Gus so she can tell him that she's not going to go to work today. She took a deep breath and dialed. "Hello? Gus? Yeah. It's Josie. Um… I can't go to work today. Yeah. My head really hurts. I think I'm developing a migraine. I know that I've never had a migraine before, but what can I do right? I'll be as good as new tomorrow."

Gus cleared his throat. "Okay Josie. Just take care of yourself okay? Go to sleep so that the headache would wear off." Josie tried to hold back the tears in guilt of her lying to Gus and the fact that her heart is going through so much emotional turmoil right now. "I will Gus." She sniffed.

"Are you crying Jos?" He asked worriedly. "Um, no Gus. I'm not." "Maybe I should let Anita go there and take care of you." "No, no, no, no. I'm okay. Really. I'll just go to sleep, okay?" "Okay Jos. Take care. Bye." "Bye." She wearily hanged up the phone and flopped back wearily back on the bed.

A few minutes later, Georgia came into the room, carrying a bowl of cereal. She placed it on the bedside table and went out again. A few seconds later, she came in again carrying a glass of orange juice. "Georgia, what's that?" Josie asked from under the covers. "I brought you some breakfast. So you would feel better." She explained, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Josie felt tears on her eyes and she bit her lip from falling down. Georgia looked at her with concern. She took off her shoes and crawled over to her. Josie opened her arms and hugged the little girl. "Are you sure your okay Josie?" She asked. "Yes…" she choked out.

Georgia looked at her in the eye. "You don't look okay. Have you been crying?" She asked, taking in her bloodshot eyes. "Don't worry about me. I just cried coz my head hurts." This time, she realized that it's true. Her head hurts because of trying to hold back her sobs. "Wait right here." Georgia got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She then appeared and gave her an aspirin.

"Thank you." Josie said gratefully and drank the medicine. Suddenly, they heard a horn blaring outside. "I have to go now Josie. But I'll be back immediately after school to take care of you, okay?" Georgia said as she leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "Okay Georgia. Bye sweetie, I love you." Josie said. "Bye. I love you too." She waved and ran out of the room.

Josie let the tears flow as soon as Georgia was out of sight. She went under her covers and cried. "I wish he never came back." She whispered as sobs racked her body.

Thoughts began to run through her head. She knows that he loves him, and she ache to be with him. And she knows that there's only one way to be with him… and she can feel herself leaning towards that decision. She shook her head, trying to erase the thoughts of having an affair with a married man.

Her family… Her friends… everybody is going to be so disappointed at her. Her heart is telling her to go for it… but her brain's another story.

"Oh God… please help me…" She groaned and went under the covers again. She stayed there for a long while, sobbing, until there were no tears left for her to cry. She stood up and wobbled for a few seconds, feeling lightheaded. She looked around her room for a tissue box and found nothing.

She went to her bathroom and grabbed a roll of tissue paper. She passed by a mirror and got a peek of her face. "God! I look awful!" She whispered and tears sprang up again. She wiped them away and went back to her bed. She was just in the process of burying herself in her bed when she heard the doorbell ring. "No!" She said as she closed her eyes, so that the growing pain in her head would go away.

Insistent knocking followed, and that could only mean one thing.

Anita is outside.

She resignedly stood up and trudged towards the door. "Josie! What took you so long?" She asked. "You look awful!" "Thank you for noticing!" Josie said sarcastically as she led her friend in. "How's the headache?" "Bad…" Josie groaned as she sunk into the loveseat. "I bought you some chicken soup." Anita said as she went to the kitchen to transfer the food into a bowl.

"Thanks." Josie called out gratefully. "So, how are you?" Anita asked as she handed her the soup. "I'm fine, stop asking me that already!" She snapped. Anita's face fell at her words. "I'm sorry Anita. My head is killing me." She said apologetically. "That's okay. I mean, I was so mean to you when I was going through my mood swings, remember?"

Josie laughed quietly and placed the bowl on the table. "Yeah I remember." "So, is this headache the only reason why you stayed home today?" Anita asked. "Or is it because of a certain person?" Josie stared at her friend and even though she didn't want to, she started to cry for what seemed like the millionth time that day. "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry."

Anita hugged her and smoothed her hair. A few minutes later, the sobs subsided and Josie looked at her friend. "Anita. I love him. I really do. And now that he's back, I don't think I can bear the thought of not being with him." "Josie, don't tell me that you're considering…" Anita looked at her friend, shocked. Josie nodded. "Yes. I'm willing to be…"

"His mistress? Are you crazy?" Anita shouted. "Anita, please. Please understand. And please be careful. You're pregnant." Josie begged her friend. Anita stood up, shaking her head. "No Josie! I won't let you do this. What you're thinking is wrong!" Josie felt a tear run down her cheek. "I know it's wrong. But Anita…"

"Don't 'but Anita' me Josie! Listen to yourself. Just a few days ago, you didn't even want to see this guy, and when you did see him and kissed him, you said that you wouldn't even consider the possibility of having an affair with a married man. But then, here you are, a few days later, telling me that you are willing to go through it! What has got into you? Did Sam tell you to do this?"

"Sam doesn't know anything about this! I decided all of this by myself." Josie said, begging for her friend to understand. "Please Anita. You already know what falling in love means. Remember the time when Gus doesn't want to have anything to do with you? You fought for him, showing that you really love him. Now this is my chance, I've done it before, and I'm willing to do it again. To put everything on the line for love. Please, I need your support Anita. I need your support more than ever." Josie pleaded, trying not to cry again.

"That is different Josie. Gus wasn't married." "Yes he was. He's married to his job, and he didn't want to risk it all just for you. But you fought him, saying that falling in love is worth it." Anita sat back down staring at her friend. "That is totally different." "Whatever! If that's different, who cares? I'm just trying to make you see things on my point of view. If this ever happens to you, I know that you'll do exactly what I'm going to do." Josie said, looking earnestly at Anita.

Anita stared at her for a long time, shaking her head every now and then. Josie held her breath, knowing that if Anita wouldn't support her on this, she won't have the strength to go through this. "Please Anita. I need you." Josie whispered. Anita laughed and hugged her friend.

"Okay, okay. If it means so much to you that you even use my life as an example, even if there's absolutely no connection, then I'll support you Josie. But I'm just doing this because I love you and I want you to be happy." Anita finally relented. Josie's face broke into a giant smile. "Yes! Oh, thank you Anita! And I know that I'm going to be happy. I promise you! This means so much to me Anita! Thank you!"

Josie leaned over to hug her friend. "Thank you Anita! Thank you so much." She whispered. "Your welcome sweetie. Now, I have to go. Gus will wonder where I am." Anita said as she gently pulled away. Josie nodded. "Promise me that you're never going to tell anyone about this, okay?" Anita nodded.

"I promise. But promise me that you guys are going to be careful. You said before that if Lara ever finds out that you two are seeing each other she'll take Sam's daughter away from him." Josie nodded. "I promise." Anita slowly walked over to the door. "I just hope you know what you're going to do Jos." "I do know. I love him Anita."

 "I know you do. Bye sweetie, I love you." She kissed Josie and opened the door. "I love you too. Bye Nita!" Josie then closed the door and leaned against it. All she got to do now was to call Sam and tell him about her decision.