Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns everything, I own… very little. I make no claim to any of her characters, situations or ideas, and am making no money whatsoever off of this work. Remus, Sirius and all of the others that belong to JK do not belong to me, sadly; I just like to play with them.
2. Amddiffyniad
As the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station, all four of the boys looked out of the nearest windows, straining against the darkness, trying to get a glimpse of their surroundings. In only a few moments, they had made their way off of the train, and now stood a few feet from it, unsure where to go. When they heard a loud voice bellowing for all the first years, they moved toward it gladly. Remus could make out a very large shape ahead of them- a giant man who towered above all of the students. As they drew within speaking range, a woman's voice rang out strongly above the chatter of students.
"Lupin! I'm looking for Romulus and Remus Lupin!" Remus looked nervously at the other three boys before taking a deep breath and stepping forward to speak to the woman, who happened to be standing very near the large man. She was rather stern looking; her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, her mouth a thin line as she looked over her glasses at the students milling around her.
"I'm Remus Lupin." Remus said quietly, stepping directly into the woman's line of sight. She gave a small start and stared at him- not offensively, but with a very curious expression on her face that Remus was not entirely able to read. Surprise, perhaps, to see such a small, unthreatening figure where she looked for a dangerous werewolf? Concern at his tired appearance? Wary, certainly; she knew what he was, that was plain to see, and she was clearly not ready to welcome him with open arms. Still, on the whole, it was a much better reaction than Remus had prepared himself for, and he gave a tiny sigh of relief. To his right, he felt rather than saw Romulus appear in answer to the summons of a moment before. The woman apparently recognized him, for she gave a small nod in his direction before leading the two boys away.
"I am Professor McGonagall; I teach Transfiguration here at Hogwarts." McGonagall walked ahead of Remus, speaking to him over her shoulder as they proceeded, very quickly, towards the castle. It seemed they would be walking the entire way, but Remus didn't mind. He was glad of a chance to stretch his legs after the long ride. McGonagall continued to speak; "The Headmaster has asked me to bring both of you to his office before the Sorting Ceremony and the Feast. There is no need to worry about missing either event."
Within a few moments, Remus found himself inside the Headmaster's office. He had walked through what seemed like a maze of corridors; he knew he would never be able to find his way back to the entrance hall they had come into on the way in by himself. He swallowed nervously as Albus Dumbledore's eyes fell on him. He had never met the Headmaster in person before, but was very much in awe of him. His parents had told him countless numbers of times what a wonderful person Dumbledore was, and how amazing it was that he would take such a chance, admitting Remus to his school. Remus agreed with them; he had nothing but the greatest admiration for the man who now stood in front of him, twinkling blue eyes fixed firmly on his face.
"Well, well." Dumbledore's eyes became even merrier, and he smiled kindly at Remus, who couldn't help but gulp nervously. "Don't worry, Mr. Lupin. There is nothing for you to be concerned about; I merely wanted to discuss with you and your brother some of the special actions that will need to be taken to handle your unique situation. First of all, I am sure you agree with me that secrecy is of the utmost importance in this case?" Remus nodded violently; it had to be a secret, it absolutely had to. Dumbledore continued, "I know you know well enough not to speak of your condition to anyone. Romulus-" Remus' brother looked at Dumbledore coldly.
Romulus Lupin was in his sixth year at Hogwarts, and belonged to Slytherin House. To put it very mildly, he did not like Remus, and had made that very clear over the years. Romulus hadn't lived with his family for the past three years, choosing instead to spend holidays with his father's brother, the boys' Uncle Romulus. Remus' brother had been named after his uncle, continuing an old Lupin family tradition of naming first sons Romulus. No one knew anymore when it had started, but now it was an unbroken family rule. Remus' parents had thought it a nice idea to name their second son Remus, in deference to the ancient legend of the founders of Rome. Unfortunately, Romulus' hatred of Remus brought their own situation too close for comfort to the old legend; Romulus had actually tried to kill Remus, though he was obviously unsuccessful. The last time Remus had seen his older brother was immediately after his attack had failed; Remus' parents had ordered Romulus to leave. That had been three years previously, but it was obvious that Romulus still felt the same antipathy towards his brother that he had shown then.
"I must ask you not to speak a word to anyone about Remus' condition." Dumbledore's voice was calm and cool, but there was no mistaking the steely note of determination in it. " You will not speak of it, or even hint about it to anyone, not even your friends. I must tell you, if I find that you have disobeyed me in this, I will have you removed from the school. I will not allow rivalry or hatred to stand between any student and his proper education at this school. Now, do I have your word that this information will stay confidential?"
"Yes, sir." Romulus' voice was cold and hard. Remus hated having only his brother's word standing between him and the discovery of his secret, but he decided that if Dumbledore was going to trust Romulus in this matter, he would follow the Headmasters lead.
"Thank you. You may rejoin your friends now at the feast; it will not have begun yet." Romulus nodded his head once, sharply, and strode quickly from the room. Dumbledore turned his attention back to Remus with another smile. "Now then, Mr. Lupin, I do not wish to keep you from your Sorting. Your first transformation here will occur very soon, will it not?"
Remus shuddered a bit at the thought of what he was going to have to go through in a few days, but answered promptly, "Yes sir. Four days from now, sir."
Dumbledore gave another small nod, and a small sigh. "It is must unfortunate, Mr. Lupin- Remus, if I may." Remus just nodded. " On the day of the full moon, I would like you to report to the Infirmary a few hours before moonrise. You may introduce yourself to Madam Pomfrey, and she will take care of you from there. She has the full details of your situation, and will be able to answer all of your questions. Now, do you have any questions you would like me to answer for you?"
Remus considered. He had a million things he would have liked to ask, but didn't feel this was the time. One thought struck him, though, and he asked quietly, "Yes, there is one thing. What if- what will happen if any of the students find out about my- my lycanthropy? I am assuming that the teachers already know."
Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, the teachers have all been informed; they will do their best to assist you however they can. As to the other students, I would first suggest that you do everything in your power to keep this information from them. If, however, this does not work, I am prepared to employ mild Memory Charms to keep the knowledge from those who do not need to know. All of the students are better off not knowing. We will do what must be done to keep your secret safe, I promise you that."
Remus felt incredibly relieved. He managed a small, shaky smile at Dumbledore as he thanked him. Smiling felt strange. Remus did not often smile, a fact that disturbed his parents; a smile felt unnatural now on his face, and laughter was even rarer and stranger. Still, if any situation deserved a smile, surely this one did, so Remus did his best to make it look sincere and normal. Dumbledore stood and walked toward the door, speaking as he walked.
"I believe we had now better be taking you down to rejoin your classmates. They will be arriving just about now, so you will not have missed anything." The two walked silently through the halls and corridors of Hogwarts, Remus staring in wonder around him the entire time. It was wholly the most marvelous building he had ever been in, and felt more homelike than he ever would have thought possible. Within moments, Dumbledore had shown him to a door, and told him quietly that he was to join his classmates inside the room. Remus raised his eyes to Dumbledore's face, and suddenly felt a surge of gratitude and affection toward the old man.
"Thank you." Remus whispered fervently. "Thank you so much- for everything." He turned quickly and ducked inside the door, closing it silently behind him. He found himself at the back of a crowd of children- almost all of whom were taller than he, Remus reflected with a silent sigh of exasperation. He decided he was best off standing still and trying to look inconspicuous, and was succeeding at it quite admirably until a tall wizard dressed entirely in black strode into the room through the door behind Remus.
"It is time for the Sorting. Follow me, in silence, if you please." His voice was calm and even; he sounded like a man who is used to being obeyed without question. This seemed to be an accurate assessment as the children lined up silently and began to follow him. Remus wondered nervously if the other children knew what was going on, if they had been told what was going to happen while he was with Dumbledore. Remus' parents had assured him that the Sorting was nothing to be afraid of, but had refused to give details, saying that would spoil the surprise. Suddenly, Remus was jolted out of his silent thoughts by a hand coming to rest suddenly on his shoulder.
Remus was unused to physical contact. Ever since the attack that had changed his life, he avoided touching anyone, for any reason. He didn't exactly know why, only that touching anyone, or having anyone touch him, made him extremely uncomfortable. His parents worried about that, and he had gradually learned to tolerate their touch, allowing them to hug him once in a while, or, more often, to bandage his wounds. Having a stranger touch him was a completely different matter, and when the strange hand descended onto his shoulder, he flinched violently and jerked away from the unwelcome contact.
"Hey, hey!" The voice was surprised, to say the least, but very quiet- apparently the tall man's warning to be silent had made an impression. "I'm sorry- didn't mean to startle you. Are you OK? We couldn't find you after we got off the train- everything all right?" It was Sirius Black, the talkative boy from the train. Remus tried to calm down- Sirius had shocked him. Breathe normally, he told himself. Sirius was staring at him, looking quite concerned.
"I'm fine." Remus' voice was quiet and even, sounding completely under control. He congratulated himself silently. "You startled me, that's all."
"Sorry about that" Sirius whispered contritely. "You looked like you were about to have heart failure!"
"I'm a little nervous about the Sorting." Remus didn't mind admitting that; it was true, and natural under the circumstances. "I have no idea what's going on."
"Oh, right" Sirius said, still keeping his voice low. "You weren't with us, were you? Not that they really told us what's going to happen, but Professor Muerno- he's the tall guy up there, rather creepy really; apparently he's the Deputy Headmaster and the teacher of Defense against the Dark Arts- anyway, he just told us that we were going to take part in the Sorting Ceremony, and it was nothing to worry about. Then he told us to make ourselves look "decent" and left. So we're not supposed to worry- I hate it when people tell me that, you know? It never helps, and usually it means there is something to worry about and they don't want me to know." He scowled in mock frustration. Remus, not knowing what to say, merely nodded.
Sirius was very friendly, Remus reflected. Far too friendly. Remus had decided before stepping foot on the Hogwarts Express that he would need too keep his distance from those around him; his secret made that a necessity. So he knew he would not be making friends, despite his mother's wishes. Friends were a danger he could not afford- and besides, he could live without them. He hadn't had any friends since he was bitten, and had learned to live with loneliness; solitude became a companion instead of something to be feared. So Remus had boarded the Express with the idea of keeping quite silent- being pleasant and polite to everyone, of course, but establishing a baseline for the rest of his time at Hogwarts. He had not planned on having a conversation, being included in plans for mischief making, or being forced into a public confrontation with Romulus. And now, here was Sirius Black again, talking nonstop, grinning at him in such a friendly manner, and Remus was astounded to find all of his old resolve dissolving. He wanted to grin back, and help plan mischief and have fun- he wanted a friend. But that was a useless desire. And now Sirius was looking curiously at the melancholy expression that had crept onto Remus' face as he thought silently.
"You," Sirius said thoughtfully, "Need to cheer up. Badly. It wouldn't kill you to smile, would it? You look as though you never smile."
"No- I-" Remus was totally lost, struggling for something to say. "I suppose I haven't had much to smile about." The last was a quiet mutter, so soft Sirius looked as though maybe he hadn't heard it. Their arrival in the Great Hall precluded any more questions, though, to Remus' relief.
As they walked toward the front of the Hall, Remus remembered to look at the ceiling, as his father had mentioned he should do. He gave an almost inaudible gasp of surprise as he saw what looked to be the open sky far above him, with lit candles suspended in midair many feet above his head. Sirius also looked up, and Remus heard a muttered exclamation of astonishment from him.
Remus' gaze was drawn inexorably to the moon; almost full. She was beautiful tonight, he thought sadly, beautiful and terrible. He had never lost his appreciation for her changing beauties, and prided himself on knowing her face as well as he knew his own. He still could not suppress a small shudder, though, as he gazed sadly at her; so beautiful, so calm and peaceful she looked, and yet she was the cruelest thing he knew. The beauty of the moon was evident to all, but only Remus could see her cold and terrible malevolence.
Remus found himself now among the crowd of children, all milling about in a desperate attempt to hide behind one another, all seeking to avoid the hundreds of eyes turned on them by the older students and the professors. He drew himself up tightly, shrinking as best he could until he took up as little room as possible to avoid being in contact with anyone else. He barely registered the events taking place around him as he continued to stare up into the sky- the entire sky was very beautiful tonight, the stars bright and clear.
He paid little attention to the song the old, tattered hat on the table in front of him sang, merely absorbing the information its' song imparted. They were to be Sorted by trying on the hat, then, were they? Remus decided he could handle that well enough. He wondered briefly what House he would be placed in. His father Nicholas had been a Gryffindor, while his mother Mabyn had been a member of Ravenclaw. Remus thought that either of those Houses sounded fantastic, and he wouldn't really mind being a Hufflepuff. He did, however, have quite strong feelings about Slytherin House; he most certainly did not want to be there. He was quite afraid, though, that that was where he would be placed. Everyone knew that Slytherin was the House where all of those inclined to evil or the Dark Arts went. Who would be more likely to be placed with the Dark ones than a Dark Creature? Yes, Remus reflected gloomily, I'm sure to be a Slytherin.
He had not been paying attention to the Sorting occurring in front of him. He did, however, focus his attention when "Black, Sirius!" was called forward. Remus watched as Sirius sat, his face half covered by the tattered old hat. When the hat gave a shout of "Gryffindor!" Remus noted with a small amount of surprise the shock evident on most faces. Remus knew that a Black in Gryffindor house was unheard of, for centuries at least. He knew the reputation the Black family had, and it was well deserved, but he disliked the fact that most here seemed so shocked by the idea that one Black might not be as inclined to evil as the rest of his family. It was quite unfair to judge a person by the acts of his family, something over which he had no control. Remus scowled mentally even as he joined in the delayed applause for Sirius' placement.
The Sorting was proceeding far too fast, Remus thought a few moments later. They had already reached the L's, and Lupin was sure to be only a few names away. Sure enough, "Lupin, Remus" was called after the previous student had scampered away, and Remus reluctantly stepped forward. There were far too many eyes focusing on him. He had spent so many years hiding from everyone, and now he was the focus of hundreds of burning stares. He chanced a quick glimpse at the table where the teachers were seated, only to find that they were staring with more interest at him than they had shown for any of the other students.
Curious to see where the werewolf will be placed? Well, so am I.
Taking a deep calming breath, Remus slid onto the stool, feeling ridiculously small, and fidgeting a bit as the hat was placed on his head.
"Ah, here we are then!" The voice was inside Remus' head, he was sure, and he didn't have any idea how to respond. "No, no, don't worry, I just need to have a quick look around and see what you're made of. So, you're the little Lone One, then, are you?" Remus knew he jumped at this, even though he had expected the hat to be able to see that. The subject had never been brought up that casually to him before, and he was a bit thrown. The voice continued, "I've been wondering what I'll do with you- you're not what I expected, you know."
Really? Remus thought directly at the hat, hoping it could hear him.
"Oh yes" it replied with a small chuckle. "You're very brave, and loyal, and quite brainy, you know, but quite lonely, and far sadder than any child your age should ever be. You need friends, my boy, good friends; you would do well in any of the Houses- except Slytherin. No, you're not a Slytherin at all, but any of the others would suit you, I think. Hmmm, let's see- ah yes, what's this? Honorable- yes, quite honorable- yes, my boy, I think you'll make an excellent Gryffindor!"
Remus stood on slightly shaky legs and looked around. The teachers were now wearing very different expressions; some looked shocked, one or two horrified, and a few, like Dumbledore, looked quite pleased. Dumbledore gave Remus a tiny wink and a nod, and he found himself walking towards the Gryffindor table, which was cheering him just as it had every other new addition it had received that night. Remus felt a surge of joy- he was, to them, no different from any of the other, normal children who had been Sorted there that night. That would change, of course, if they ever found out what he was, but he stepped on that notion. No one would ever find out.
He reached the table and saw Sirius Black waving madly at him. "Congratulations, Remus!" Sirius shouted joyfully as Remus hesitantly took a seat next to him at his insistence. "Knew you had it in you!" Remus again evaluated the situation, and decided that a smile was in order. He tried hard to smile broadly back at Sirius, but felt it was coming off as a rather small and pathetic effort. This just seemed to make Sirius even wilder. "And there! You can smile, I knew it! We're going to have to work on that, you know." Both boys turned their attention back to the Sorting, waiting to see the results of James' Sorting. Peter Pettigrew was Sorted before James, of course, and joined them at the Gryffindor table, followed very soon after by James, who wore a broad, proud grin.
By the time the Sorting was over and Dumbledore had made a few rather irrelevant remarks, Remus was sure he was going to die of hunger before the feast was served. He gave a small cry of delight when the table in front of him was suddenly filled with food, and began to eat hungrily. He was always extra hungry in the several days preceding his transformations, and today was no exception. The food was fantastic, and by the time they were finished, Remus felt quite content. Dumbledore stood again and addressed the crowd.
"Well, now that we've all eaten, I would like to make a few announcements. The Forbidden Forest, as it's name might seem to imply, is forbidden to all students. Mr. Filch wished me to remind all of you that there is to be no magic performed in the corridors between classes. Also, we have just seen to the planting of a new and dangerous tree on the school grounds. This tree is known as a Whomping Willow, and is likely to attack if you venture near it. Please remain a safe distance from it at all times. And that is all I have to say! Now, I believe that an appropriate way to finish off the evening would be with a rendition of the Hogwarts School Song. If you will all pick your favorite tune, we can begin!"
With these words, Dumbledore waved his wand, and words appeared in midair. The student body burst into song, to hundreds of different tunes and tempos. Remus thought it one of the messiest noises he had ever heard, and the words of the song seemed so ridiculous that they were quite hard to sing. Remus sang quickly and quietly, not wanting to draw attention to himself. Sirius and James, on the other hand, had thrown everything they had into the song. Their arms around each other's shoulders, they had leapt up onto the seats and begun to sing at the top of their lungs, with huge maniacal grins on their faces. They were probably the most noticeable people in the Hall, and got quite a few laughs as they continued to give the performance their all.
Finally, when the song had ended, Dumbledore shooed all of the students off to bed. Laughing and talking, they filed through the doors, and the Gryffindors followed their Prefects towards their new home. Remus walked quietly, paying close attention to the turns they made, determined to figure out exactly where everything was as soon as possible. He hated not knowing where he was at any time. He was also beginning to feel truly exhausted; the nap on the train had done him some good, but he was always tired so close to the full moon, and it had been an extremely long day. By the time they reached Gryffindor Tower, he was certain he was going to fall over before he made it to bed. The Prefects showed them exactly where they were to go, and by dint of sheer effort, Remus managed to clamber onto the bed that was supposed to be his before falling asleep. He was unable to keep awake long enough to change his robes, or even to close his curtains. As he fell asleep, his last thought was one of strange contentment as he glanced around the room. This was where he was meant to be.
Author's Note: I know it has taken far too long to update; I blame my brick of a computer. Many, many thanks to those who reviewed- I appreciate it so much! I swear this will eventually have some really original ideas, but if my computer doesn't start cooperating, it might take a little while to get to them. The meaning of the Welsh title for this chapter is "Protections", referring both to the protections Dumbledore gives Remus and the protections afforded to him by placing him in Gryffindor House. As ever, please leave a review- they really help me with my writing. Thank you all!