Hello again! First of all, I'm really glad to see that everyone is still enjoying this story! Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews- they mean so much to me! This chapter was actually written fairly quickly, for reasons unknown. Allow me to say, I did not plan for what happens with Romulus in this piece- I actually had quite a different encounter in mind, but that part sort of wrote itself, and as I liked the end results, I didn't change it. It was just a bit of a surprise to me, that's all. Today's Welsh Word- Ymchweliad, which simply means "Return." The name was chosen after the story was finished, due in part to Romulus. Please review, folks- I'm addicted to them, and that's much better than being addicted to drugs or something, because I'm sure my writing would be far worse if I was a druggie. So anyway, reviews rock my world! Thanks!
Disclaimer- Don't own much at all, JK Rowling does, I won't claim it. All hail JKR! Please don't sue.
Chapter 8- Ymchweliad
Remus had mixed feelings about returning to Hogwarts the morning of January 3rd. On the one hand, he loved Hogwarts; classes were fascinating, and he finally had friends! It had been so long since he had known what it was like to have real friends, and now he didn't want to give it up for anything. On the other hand, though, he had missed his parents so much while he had been away at school. It came as a great surprise to him how easily he had been able to slide back into the comfortable routines that he had lived with for years. The house looked the same, his parents were the same, all of which made it easy to imagine he had never left, and was currently making it very difficult for him to leave again. The fact was, though, he really didn't have a choice in the matter; even if he had wanted to stay home, he couldn't now. His parents were deeply involved in Dumbledore's secret project, and they weren't often home anymore. Another aspect of the situation was the fact that Remus knew he had been sent to Hogwarts to be under Dumbledore's protection. With Dark wizards after his parents, as he was well aware they were, it wasn't a smart idea for their son to be unprotected. So, back to Hogwarts it was.
Remus dragged himself into a sitting position on his bed, groaning softly. His last transformation had been only a few days previously, on December 31st, and he had injured himself quite badly- not badly enough to have to go to Saint Mungos, though, thankfully. He had spent the time since then sleeping, for the most part, and though he still felt miserable, he could at least walk now.
Breakfast that morning was a quiet affair. A comfortable silence hung over the table as the Lupins ate. Before he knew it, it was time for them to Floo Remus back to Platform Nine and Three- Quarters. The three arrived without fuss, and stood together for a moment, all looking at the Hogwarts Express, gleaming in the sun, waiting to take Remus back to school. He felt a lump growing in his throat as he contemplated leaving his parents again, but told himself sternly that he was not going to cry! He wasn't a little boy, and he wasn't about to act like one.
Mrs. Lupin turned to face him, smiling a bit sadly. "Well, Remus, time for you to get on the train, dear." She wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug, which he returned. As soon as she released him, he was swept into another embrace by his father.
"You have a good time!" Mr. Lupin said cheerfully, grinning down at his small son. "Get into loads of mischief, and learn everything you can- just remember, you often learn more from what you're not supposed to be doing than what you are." He winked merrily, and Remus grinned back at him, which made his father even happier. His parents had been thrilled to see the changes in him since his return- he was so much happier, and they claimed that he had grown, although he thought they were making that up. He was definitely the shortest boy in his year, and was probably shorter than all of the girls, too- he hadn't measured.
"Yes," Mrs. Lupin replied, her eyes twinkling, "that's very true. But don't get into too much trouble, if you can help it, dear." Remus nodded; he did try to avoid trouble whenever he could, but being best mates with James Potter and Sirius Black didn't really facilitate that. Remus and Peter had spent a number of detentions being punished for things they had no part in, before deciding just to take an equal part in the trouble-making. That way, when they were punished, at least it would be for something they had done, Remus reasoned.
"Love you guys." Remus said, his voice a little choked even as he smiled at his parents. "I'll write you soon!" He made for the train at once, turning back and waving when he reached the door. His parents stood there waving at him, Nicholas having placed one arm around his wife's shoulders. Remus boarded the train and began to make his way slowly to the last compartment. It had by this time become the official compartment of the four Gryffindor first years, though they hadn't actually said so aloud. When he reached the compartment, Remus realised that he was the only one there so far; with a quiet sigh, he sat in the last seat and rested his head against the seat behind him, his eyes closing at once.
He was awakened by James and Sirius bursting into the compartment at top speed, talking at the top of their voices.
"Honestly, James, you can't have forgotten?"
"Look, I'm sorry, Sirius- I just somehow neglected to pack them, that's all."
"Great." Sirius muttered, flopping dramatically onto the seat opposite Remus, a disgusted look on his face. "Just great. Now how are we ever supposed to do everything we meant to do? We needed those Dungbombs." James followed suit, crashing onto the nearest seat. Remus observed them through a haze of sleep.
"Hey, Remus!" James exclaimed, seemingly just noticing that Remus was there. "How are you? Did you have a nice Christmas? Well, I guess you did - from what Sirius said, it sounds like you two had a blast!"
Remus nodded a bit, and said "Yes, it was very nice. How were your holidays?"
"Fantastic!" James told him. "Loads better once Sirius came, of course. The New Years Eve party was great, Remus- you should have been there!"
"Yeah." Sirius put in. "It was great fun, but we missed you."
"Sorry." Remus muttered. "I do wish I'd been able to come." He was getting sleepier by the moment- blast the full moon! It had been so inconveniently timed; he hadn't been able to attend the party, and now he was starting back to school feeling half dead! Not good.
Peter entered the compartment, calling out cheerful greetings to all of the others. Remus waved sleepily at him, and James and Sirius swarmed him, eager to see the Muggle treasures he had brought with him. The train began to move, and Remus found himself lulled to sleep immediately by the gentle movement and rhythmic sounds of the journey; he felt himself slipping away quietly.
"Remus! Oy, Remus!" Sirius was shouting again. Sirius was always shouting. Couldn't make him shut up, not for all the gold in the world. Cautiously, Remus opened one eye to peek at his friend.
"Yes, Sirius?" Remus' voice was calm as always - he prided himself on being very even-tempered, no matter what time of the month it was. It got more difficult to keep his temper the nearer the moon was to being full; when the moon was new, Remus was almost as calm and controlled as he always pretended to be. When the moon was near to being full, however, he sometimes had difficulty not ripping people's heads off- figuratively speaking, of course!
"Ah, right. Couldn't tell if maybe you hadn't died over here. That would be very regrettable, you know, so I thought I'd just come check on you."
"That's kind of you." Remus replied blearily; why was it that his sarcasm woke up before the rest of him?
"Not at all, mate! Are you all right, though? You look awful, quite honestly, and you're doing your whole 'walking dead' thing- 'cept you're not walking, you're sleeping. The Sleeping Dead, that's you- only you're not dead, either. Hmm. Oh well- the question stands, regardless."
"Merlin, Sirius, I'm just tired." Remus couldn't wake himself enough to answer any more thoroughly than that.
"All right, then, you can go ahead and nap, as long as you promise you're not going to cross the line from Sleeping Living to Sleeping Dead while I'm not paying attention." Sirius was very amused with himself.
"Right." Remus yawned, and was asleep again before Sirius had a chance to respond.
When the Hogwarts Express finally pulled into the station, Remus was the first one to stir. Yawning and stretching, he looked around to see that the three other occupants of the compartment were asleep, sprawled comfortably on the seats, and in Peter's case, the floor. Remus smiled, and woke the others, asking "Would you all like to stay here until the train returns to London, then?" They all awoke quickly, and made their way off the train.
There was no feast that night, but the food was delicious anyway, no different from any other meal prepared by the Hogwarts House Elves. The four returned to Gryffindor Tower that night quite full, and feeling immensely satisfied. Remus glanced up at the ceiling on his way out of the Great Hall, staring at the waning moon with satisfaction. He wouldn't be transforming for several weeks, long enough to be able to push the thought to the back of his mind for a while. For all that he had been wishing he could stay home, Remus was glad to be back at Hogwarts.
The next morning, though, he wasn't so happy. They had Defence Against the Dark Arts first thing after breakfast; James and Sirius were happily occupied plotting mayhem and chaos, with Peter's full support, but Remus was worried about class. They had been working through Dark Creatures faster than even Professor Muerno had anticipated, and Remus knew the lesson on werewolves couldn't be far ahead in the curriculum.
Unfortunately for him, he turned out to be exactly right. The four Gryffindor boys hadn't been seated for more than a minute when Professor Muerno swept into the room. He stood in silence behind the desk, glaring at the class until all noise ceased before speaking.
"Werewolves." His voice was icy cold, and Remus felt his heart sink. In the seat ahead of him, Lily Evans shuddered, which did not help matters. Sirius sat up straight, looking interested; James scowled a bit, and Peter reacted in shock. Peter was always shocked when Muerno introduced a new magical creature; apparently, having been raised Muggle-fashion, Peter hadn't believed in any of the magical creatures he was now learning about, and was constantly surprised to find that the creatures of fairytales did indeed exist. Remus struggled to keep his facial expression neutral; knowing what was surely ahead, however, it was very difficult not to just get up and run from the room.
Muerno began his lecture. Its main focus was on how very evil werewolves were; he told the class that werewolves were highly dangerous in either of their forms, always out to bite or kill humans. His bias was clear, as he made no effort to give the werewolves' side of the issue, but his facts were, for the most part, correct. He mistakenly stated that the bite of a werewolf would carry the curse of lycanthropy no matter what the form of the werewolf was at the time. That, Remus knew, was not true- he had accidently bitten his mother once, in human form, and she had suffered no ill effects. And of course, Muerno mentioned that werewolves were color blind; Remus had difficulty not laughing at that one.
All in all, the lesson was not proceeding too badly, Remus thought, until Muerno reached the section on recognising and killing werewolves. At that point, Remus felt he would be ill. Muerno was giving his friends all the information they would ever need to figure out his secret; by the end of the lesson, surely, they would know what he was, and then it would all be over. Muerno's cold recitations of the proper and preferred methods of "extermination" made Remus feel physically ill. He could see Lily, clearly quite frightened, taking notes; Remus shifted in his seat a bit to glance surreptitiously at James and Sirius. To his astonishment and relief, they were paying no attention whatsoever to the lesson! Instead, they had their heads together, obviously working on their plot to wreck havoc later. Remus was greatly relieved, and turned his attention back to Muerno, hoping he would finish soon. Shouldn't class have been over by now? This one lesson seemed to be taking years to get through.
When Muerno finally finished his lecture, he looked around the classroom, asking if there were any questions. After a moment, the girl sitting next to Lily raised her hand hesitantly.
"Yes, Miss Andrews?"
"Um, I was wondering, Professor- my parents taught me that werewolves- and vampires and giants too- were people, not monsters. They said those three species have human intelligence and, in most cases, human feelings, so they should be classified as people. Do you disagree with this?" Remus looked at the girl with some surprise. He had never heard anyone other than his parents or Dumbledore express this view.
"Yes, I do indeed disagree." Muerno replied, his voice cold. "Werewolves, vampires and giants are all dangerous; they cannot control themselves, and pose such a danger to humans that they cannot be called anything but monsters."
"That's not true." Remus was utterly shocked to find himself speaking; he had fully intended to keep his mouth shut through the entire lesson. He had certainly not meant to flat out contradict the professor who hated him about the nature of werewolves! Stupid, stupid Remus, he berated himself.
"Care to clarify your meaning, Mr. Lupin?" Muerno asked dangerously.
"I- I simply meant that it's not quite accurate to say that vampires and werewolves and giants can't control themselves; that is, giants can't so much, but they live far away from humans for that reason. And vampires- if they choose, they can survive without harming humans at all, as can werewolves, and many do. So I don't think it's right to call them monsters, sir; they're people." Remus gulped nervously, disliking the feeling that Muerno was about to rip his head off- hopefully, it would just be figuratively, although he wouldn't put it past the professor to do so literally.
"So . . . Miss Andrews and Mr. Lupin disagree with me on the nature of werewolves- lets keep vampires and giants out of the question for the time being, shall we? After the lecture you just heard, you two still persist in believing that werewolves are harmless, innocent people?"
"N-no sir," Andrews said- Remus wished he could remember her first name, but decided that was of secondary importance at the moment. "I- I just wanted to know what you thought about it, sir." She was clearly terrified of the teacher, but he merely nodded at her.
"Mr. Lupin." Muerno said, glaring at him. "Would you care to retract your opinion as well?" Remus knew that was exactly what he should do; just back off, quit drawing attention to himself in connection with werewolves, and everything would be fine. But it wouldn't be right.
"No sir." Remus said quietly. "I've told you what I believe, and that I cannot and will not change." Muerno nodded slowly. The bell signaling the end of classes rang outside the door, and Remus breathed a sigh of relief- finally, the horrible class was over.
"Wait!" Muerno commanded, and the entire class froze, then slowly reseated themselves from where they had stood to leave. "We're not finished here, class. I believe we need to get the opinions of everyone in this class on the issue at hand; perhaps that might help to answer any questions Mr. Lupin might have, hmmm?" No-one dared to groan, but they all looked highly frustrated. Muerno pointed at Lily "Miss Evans, might we have your opinion on the issue? Are werewolves people or monsters?"
Lily looked upset, but replied in a small voice, "Monsters, sir."
"Very good!" Muerno said cheerfully. "Miss Andrews?"
"Monsters, sir." She answered, bu8t she looked uncertain. The questioning proceeded around the room; Remus felt more and more ill as every person questioned pronounced him a monster.
"Monsters." James said with a shrug when asked, as though the entire subject was highly boring. Muerno asked Sirius next; Sirius hesitated, obviously torn between his extreme hatred for Muerno and the desire to get out of class as swiftly as possible.
"Monsters." He finally replied, glaring at the teacher; Muerno ignored this, and moved on. When the questioning finished, every student in the class had identified werewolves as monsters. Muerno stepped directly in front of Remus' desk.
"Well, Mr. Lupin? You seem to be the only one struggling with this concept. What do you have to say?"
Remus struggled. How could he say it? But how could he not? Sirius elbowed him, obviously trying to get him to answer so they could leave. Remus looked up at Muerno, whose icy blue eyes were boring into him. "Monsters, sir." Remus finally said, in little better than a whisper, and dropped his gaze to the desk in front of him. Muerno smiled unpleasantly, and moved back to the front of the classroom.
"Very good, Mr. Lupin- but I would like to see two rolls of parchment from you on the subject, due this Friday, just to be certain there is no remaining confusion. You may all leave." The class left quickly, everyone rushing to their next classes, hoping they would not be too late.
"Remus, what was that all about?" James demanded angrily as soon as they had left the classroom. They didn't have another class until after lunch, which was very soon now, and so were not in a great hurry. "We had a great prank to pull right after class, remember?"
"Yeah!" Sirius agreed. "Why'd you have to hold up class over stupid werewolves? Really, if we had to stay late to discuss something, couldn't it have been something important?"
Remus struggled to remain calm. He felt dangerously close to tears, or maybe just to hauling off and punching someone. He looked away from his friends, and tried to think of something to say, without success.
"Sorry." He finally managed. "I didn't mean to make everyone stay late. I felt it was important." The other three rolled their eyes.
"Well, we'd better go eat lunch." Sirius said after an uncomfortable moment of silence. "If we get there early, maybe we can hex the Slytherins' food or something." James and Peter nodded their agreement, and the three began to walk off; after a moment, they seemingly realised Remus wasn't with them. Turning, they saw that Remus had slid into a sitting position against the wall, feeling utterly miserable.
"Remus, aren't you coming? Is something wrong?" Peter asked.
Oh no, nothing's wrong- my best friends just declared me a monster- and the worst part is, they're right. I was stupid to argue about it- everyone knows werewolves are monsters, Remus thought, but he didn't say it aloud, telling them instead, "I'm not hungry."
"C'mon, Rem- we're not mad at you, you know." James told him. "We were just a bit frustrated, that's all."
"Really, James," Remus insisted, "I'm not hungry. You guys go." There was no way he was going to be able to eat anything. With a few questioning glances at him, the three began again to make their way to lunch, and Remus sat, his head back against the wall, and tried not to think about Defence class. He was very shocked when someone suddenly sat down next to him.
"Hello, Remus." It was Romulus, and for once, he didn't sound angry. "I saw what happened."
"Hello, Romulus. I expect you're thrilled about it, then?"
"No." Romulus' flat denial took Remus by surprise; he turned his head to look at his older brother. Romulus looked a bit flustered, but continued, "I mean, he was right of course- werewolves are monsters. But I- Merlin, Remus, I wish it didn't have to be like this!" Remus stared at him, mouth open in surprise. Romulus sounded frustrated and helpless, not cold and sarcastic as was normal.
"What do you mean?" Remus asked after a moment.
"You think I wanted things to turn out this way, Remus? I wish you were a normal kid as much as you do! And then seeing what happened just now- Remus, you know what's going to happen, don't you?"
"What?" Remus asked cautiously.
"I know those boys, you know- we in Slytherin make it our business to know everyone. Peter Pettigrew- he's a Muggleborn. He's frightened to death of the big bad monsters. James Potter- you probably didn't know, but the Potters had a close relative killed by a werewolf just about a year ago. Sirius Black- the Blacks are about as anti-werewolf as it's possible to be. They hate half-breeds, you know that." Romulus sighed. "You four- everyone knows about you. Thick as thieves, best friends- you're so full of yourselves, and of each other, but it's not going to last. As soon as they find out about you, and you know they will- they'll abandon you, Remus."
"I know." Remus' voice was quiet and broken, not more than a whisper. He knew all of this- it was his greatest fear, but to have it expressed aloud made it worse.
"I may never have been much of a brother to you, and it's a bit late to start now, but I wanted to warn you. Just back off from them, Remus- leave them now, before they leave you, or you're going to get hurt." With that, Romulus stood, looked down at Remus sadly for a moment before walking away. Remus stared after his brother in confusion. He hadn't had a decent conversation with Romulus since he had been bitten.
Remus was unusually subdued the rest of the day; after dinner, he quickly completed his homework and went to bed. He was still physically exhausted from the last transformation, and the day had been very tiring, so he had no problem falling asleep swiftly.
"Remus, we know." Sirius' voice, cold and hard like Muerno's, his face appearing before Remus in the midst of a haze, set in a furious mask.
"You're a werewolf!" Peter, terrified and angry, eyes narrowed.
"You're a monster." James' voice was calm, but the contempt in it cut Remus to the heart.
"We trusted you, and you lied to us."
"You don't belong here."
"Get out."
Remus tried to reply. "Wait! I'm sorry- I didn't want to lie to you!" They didn't respond, seemed not to hear him at all. Their faces spun around him, all angry and full of hatred, and Remus knew that it was over.
Remus awoke with a start, sitting upright in bed. He looked around quickly, but all of his friends were sleeping soundly, Peter's snores the only sound in the room. Calming himself, Remus lay back, wiping his eyes quickly. Romulus had been right- that was exactly what was going to happen, and Remus couldn't do a thing to stop it, except hide and lie as best he could. When it came down to it, though, the fact was that he was going to lose his friends the moment they discovered the truth about him. Remus spent the rest of the night sleepless.