Fantasy

Yami no Kelly Noel

November 24, 2003

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A/n:

I'm just sooooo great, aren't I hikari?



(Kelly: The authoress is supposed to be humble, kind, and generous to the readers. You've failed in each of those categories.)



Tch… you're just jealous 'cause my story is better than all of yours.

(Kelly: It's my story! All you're doing is narrating it! Badly, I might add!)

JEALOUS!

(Kelly: Why do I even bother… - -;)

Yup, I'm just soooooooooooooooooo great! ^-^

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but I do have the complete set of Kaiba brother plushies. Including the Mokuba plushie with kung-fu grip! Ha cha!

(Kelly: She does not own that. It doesn't even exist.)

J-E-A-L-O-U-S!

(Kelly: ERG! *turns off mind link*)

- Yami no Kelly N.

-(Kelly Noel)



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Recap:

Bakura's in leather, Jounouchi's suffering through the after effects of a dislocated jaw, Anzu dislocated Jounouchi's jaw, Honda can't dance, and Yugi believes in the heart of the dancing simulator. And so our group of heroes and our perky heroine, (is it me or does it look like some type of drug?) descended into virtual world. Yay. Good for them. Now back to the sexy star of our story.

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"After looking through each of their card database, they each have at least eight cards worthy of Mokuba." Kaiba said, as he watched over the five from a tree. "Except maybe Katsuya. His cards are just about as worthy as the dirt he rolls around in." He chuckled to himself, he'd have to use that one while taking the mutt's cards. Pulling out his pocket computer, which he designed himself for special use in virtual dimensions, he began to check the progress of his hired help through his ever so helpful computer. "Progress Report for Project 13."

"With the way you treated me before? You're lucky if I didn't already delete the file." His computer responded, her savvy tone evident.

"Ha. Like as if you'd have the nerve to delete the file." Kaiba snorted, as he switched over to manual. "I don't know why I gave you human qualities, it makes you that much more difficult to work with."

"You gave me human qualities to remind you that you're also human. Although the way you've been acting lately may make one change their mind."

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Kaiba retorted, noticing that very few cards had been acquired as he checked the database. Now if I worked at Kaiba Corp. I would have had all forty cards like that! Too bad he refused to hire me. He said I kept stalking him or something...

"If you don't know by now, you never will." She sighed, as if the answer was obvious. Apparently not obvious enough for our saucy, sexy, super smarty: Seto! Try to say that one three time fast.

"Evidently, it can't be very important if you refuse to give me a straight answer." He growled, sifting through the database once more to make sure that he had counted right. "I can't believe after all this time I've given them they've only found four cards!" He slammed his fist against the branch he was sitting upon thus resulting in a very nerve racking cracking sound.

"Brace yourself." His computer taunted, overriding manual controls and immediately shutting down. He blinked, slightly confused. He turned to see that the branch he was situated on was slowly loosening itself from the trunk of the tree.

"God damn it!" Kaiba shouted as the branch finally gave way, crashing down to the ground.

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"Do you hear something?" Yugi asked, looking around him. They stood in a spacious forest with many wide pathways to choose from. Red, white and dark purple flowers swayed In a virtual breeze as the grasses swayed along with them. The sun shine warmed their faces as they each looked up to where Yugi had thought he'd heard the mysterious yelling. "It sounds kinda familiar." The rest of the group shrugged.

"You must be hallucinating Yug'. I don't here a thing. 'Cept maybe Bakura..." And so the rest of the group turned to where Bakura was now sitting, fascinated with how real a virtual tree looked.

"It's like it's real!" Bakura gasped, easily amazed. The others sweat dropped, they were all used to this virtual nonsense and had no interest in a stupid tree.

"-damn it!"

"…" Jounouchi blinked. Okay, now he heard something. "Anyone else hear that?" Jounouchi asked, as both Anzu and Tristan nodded.

"It sounded like it came from over-"

"Eee!" Bakura screeched as a large blue trench coat landed on top of him. HA! Oh… uh… I mean poor Bakura-kun. Heh, heh, heh…



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Now I feel it necessary to introduce the real antagonist of our story, seeing as none of this story would be possible without him. Besides he's just so darn cute! And if you tell anyone I said that you will suffer through an incredibly painful death at the kung fu action hands of my Mokuba plushie. Ha cha!

He laid on his brother's large, king sized bed merely staring aimlessly at the bland, white ceiling. His gray eyes seemed to blend into the dullness of the moment as he sighed in his melodramatic manner. Obviously the poor child was depressed, despite the bright sun that now shined on this nice July day. Despite his ability to do whatever he wanted. Poor Mokuba Kaiba laid on his brother's bed as the ceiling began to blend with the rest of his dull, boring life.

Everyone was so busy lately, especially his brother. They had no time for him despite the fact that his birthday was only days away. His friends… or rather his brother's friends, were all busy with their own summer plans, where he, of course, was not included in a single one. He furrowed his brow, obviously aggravated with something. Or someone.

"He promised…" He pouted, as he sat up, and looked at his locket in the shape of a duel monster card. He flipped the cover up to see half a picture with young ten year old Seto smiling as he played chess. "He always breaks his promises." Mokuba sniffled, clutching the picture tightly as a few tears dripped down. "Excuses… lies… I HATE YOU!" Mokuba cried, as he finally threw the locket at the wall, thus causing the glass casing to shatter and his brother's picture to gently flutter to the floor. He turned and threw himself back into the thick mattress, trying to suffocate the cries that would have echoed through-out the practically empty Kaiba Mansion.

Don't you just feel so depressed? Here have a plushie.

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"Are they dead?" Jounouchi asked, as he poked Seto in the ribs with a rather large and pointed stick.

"No, there're still breathing. Or at least Kaiba is…" Honda responded as Anzu grabbed the stick Jounouchi was using to assault Seto with and smacked him over the head with it.

"Stop mutilating his body." Anzu said as she continued to beat him over the head with the stick.

"OW!" And so another brawl began… I am currently taking bets if anyone is in need of a bookie.

"What?!" Yugi shouted, as Honda continued his scrutiny of the two bodies in question.

"No, wait never mind." He coughed, sweat dropping.

"Never mind what?!" Yugi asked, now confused if Bakura was breathing as well as Kaiba or if Kaiba wasn't breathing as well as Bakura.

"What?" Honda asked, confused.

"Never mind what?" Yugi repeated, somewhat calmer so Honda could clearly understand him.

"Wait… what was the question?"

"OW MY EYE! ANZU!"

If you hadn't yet realized, we're back in virtual world. The stupidity of this conversation would have given it away easily… what did they accomplish out of that anyway? As Anzu and Jounouchi were mindlessly rolling around on the ground wrestling, (one of the many times I'm thankful this isn't animated…) Jounouchi's stick flew from Anzu's hand and smacked my precious bishie, Seto-kun, in the nose, causing him to jerk awake.

"Well," He stared as he looked around to see Yugi and Honda arguing while Anzu and Jounouchi beat the crap out of one another, "this screws up my plans…" He groaned as he rubbed his head. Apparently Bakura's body wasn't a very soft landing spot after all. He looked beside him to see the sacrificial "albino" stir slightly, "Well, at least I won't be charged with murder."

"Kaiba! You live!" Yugi shouted, directly into Seto's ear, unfortunately. Of course when you fall from a five story tree and make a very uncomfortable landing, something's got to hurt. In Seto's case it was his head. Clutching his head out of a mind crushing headache he winced as Yugi continued to shout out of joy, as Bakura got up as well. "Bakura lives too! YAY!" Incase you're wondering, Bakura was suffering from abdominal pain from when Kaiba brutally crushed him from a five story fall. Now normally one of them would be dead, but I can't suffer through any of THOSE kind of flames, complaining about their poor dead favorite character. So when he sat up he ended up blacking out from the pain, thus collapsing to the ground again.

"Agh! He's dead! … AGAIN!" Releasing one hand from the tight grasp of his cranium, Kaiba quickly grabbed Yugi by the collar of his shirt and pulled his face close to his own. Yugi could smell Kaiba's minty tooth pasty breath and Kaiba could smell Yugi's Dorito-y breath in return. The combination is quite nauseating, actually.

"If you shout like that once more I'm going to take your puzzle and smash it over that spiky little head of yours. Got it?" He growled, his sapphire eyes glaring at Yugi menacingly. Yugi gulped as a reply. "Good." Kaiba finished, chucking Yugi a good few feet as he released his grip and staggered to his feet… only to rammed into by Jounouchi and Anzu who were still beating the crap out of one another.

"Take that Jounouchi!" Anzu laughed, to the point of making both Yugi and Honda shiver. It was one of those sadistic laughs, the kind that makes your blood run cold and you're brains fail to function correctly, because you're just THAT terrified. Mind numbing… I'm used to it by now, Kelly laughs like that when she updates her fan fiction.

"Get- off- me!" Kaiba shouted, kicking both Anzu and Jounouchi off him, they both rolled off into separate directions in odd, unholy positions. "Why did I decide to do this again?" He whimpered, as he wished he was home in his bed, visions of Mokuba danced in his head. "Oh yeah…" It was then that Honda finally took an incentive.

"Look you two, you'd better start to talk out your problems or I'm turning this car around!"

"Honda... we aren't in a car." Yugi corrected, as he tried to help Bakura regain consciousness. To little avail. For as soon as he sat up the pain would worsen and Bakura would fall back on the ground, possibly resulting in multiple concussions, if we're lucky.

"Oh… right. But you'd better talk out your problems, anyway!"

Anzu looked at Jounouchi and Jounouchi looked at Anzu, glaring at one another viciously. "Alright then." Jounouchi started, racking his mind for every insult he knew. "I'll start." Anzu smirked, she knew what was coming. Another lame attempt to get her riled with his half rate kindergartener insults. "Anzu," he paused this had to begin better than that. "You," he began again with now a venous flare to his voice. "Are a knobby kneed, dancing inbred ape who is barely posing as a human being, let alone a girl, who should be shot, hung, and tortured by rabid rodents while being dangled over a boiling pit of hot lava, and forced to listen to all and every friendship speech that has ever crossed your lips." He stopped once more as he racked his mind for a perfect ending. Quickly he went fishing through all his dates ending with a slap on the face and every teen soap opera he'd ever watched. It was then his hook snagged the catch of the day. "And," He added, dangling thousands of my readers over a large cliff, "You're FAT." He smiled triumphantly, he had finally won.

Anzu gasped, horrified at the words that spewed form the moron's mouth. Such an insult should never be thought of, let alone heard, and he had gone and said it! Such an insult even caused Bakura to wake from his fifth black out and gasp out of sheer horror with the rest of the gang. Even Kaiba was astounded at what the mutt had managed to utter. The animal! But still Jounouchi stood, smiling proudly at his feat, his eyes burning with an unknown and intangible power. He seemed to be snickering the words, "Beat THAT," as Anzu tried not to burst into tears. She did indeed feel the need to beat something, more specifically Jounouchi's brain dead head, along with other more delicate lower extremities of his anatomy. Her mouth parted slightly and closed and then parted and closed, she was doing an excellent job of resembling a stranded fish. She raised her hand and pointed her index finger at Jounouchi, this reaction had beaten her to an actual retort. She wordlessly mouthed unknown and unheard curses, her face turning a rainbow of colors; blues, purples, and brilliant reds. Seeing this going on, Honda had the unexplainable and completely inappropriate urge to find an egg timer. Perhaps to see how long Anzu could keep that face with out exploding.

Finally, Anzu managed to regain her ability to speak and that ability would ground Jounouchi into the dirt. "Jounouchi Katsuya," She hissed, the sound of her snakelike tone caused all to take one step back and prepare to flee. Jounouchi's face paled, dear god what had he done? "You are a horrible excuse for a human being," she started, her insult resembling that of Jounouchi's except with more hissing and less rambling. "and…" She hissed again causing Jounouchi to enter a state of trembling, her voice was like a snakes venom slowly and painfully injecting the poison through his blood stream before striking his heart. "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE!" She screeched the final word into his ear, and consequently Honda's as well, turned on the heel of her go-go boots and started fixedly at the virtual sky. Jounouchi stood dumbfounded as the rest of the group stared in awe. Even TV wasn't this entertaining!

They all remained speechless as minutes seemed to drag on like hours, until something broke the seemingly endless tension that lingered over the area like the odor of a dead squid left to rot on the doorstep on a hot summer's day. "Hey," Bakura began, as everyone slowly turned their heads towards him. "What's this?" Bakura asked, holding up a tiny sprite like creature, it's chibi cuteness evident.

"Hey, it's another one of those fairy thingies." Yugi pointed out, remembering his first experience in virtual world with Princess Adenia and Eru, her pixie companion. He missed Eru, she would have made a good pet. At least she would respond to when he called her name, unlike a certain turtle-like mascot he was forced to take care of everyday. "Damn you and your bacteria ridden shell!" He shouted out loud, as the rest of the group blinked.

"Oooooh! She's sooooo cute!" Anzu squealed, as she ran over to Bakura' protruding hand and pampered the pixie deservingly. Jounouchi rolled his eyes, what did Yugi see in her anyway?

"Stop fondling the damn thing and maybe it will show us our game mission." Jounouchi growled as Anzu's eyes narrowed into tiny slits, her snake like tone returning.

"Yugi," She began causing the midget to jump at least 6 ft. "Tell The Moron, as that is what I shall address him as from this day forward, that I shall do what ever I please and that he, since he has no brain, should mind his own damned business." Her eyes returned to normal as she went back to cuddling the cute little sprite, much to the dismay of all women-kind.

"Jounouchi," Yugi started, "Anzu wants you to know that-"

"I get the picture!" Jounouchi shouted, as Yugi's face fell in disappointment and then quickly darkened.

"Don't shoot the messenger." He growled, taking the fairy from Anzu and allowing it to get on with it's original purpose, to help them with the game. It smiled, despite it's disappointment of not being able to be pampered longer and plots of slaughtering the short spiky haired one that ran through its mind, and motioned for them to follow her.

"Let's go!" Bakura shouted, somewhat recovered from his body crushing experience, as he shot up and ran after the cute little guide. Jounouchi, Honda and Anzu ran after him to make sure he didn't hurt himself again as Yugi and Kaiba hung back. The looked at one another as they remained speechless.

"So… Kaiba-kun… what brings you to virtual world?"

"Business." Kaiba sighed, as he watched his elaborate plot crumble to pieces. Why was it THIS hard to get anything done? Then a better question popped into his head. Why was it ALWAYS this hard to get anything done?