Couple's Therapy
Pointless tales of paring off
Standard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
--------------------
CASE 1: Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo, OR Bad Cookies and Lots of Orgasms
"Ranma," Shampoo said as she bounded into the Tendo household, "I bring cookies for you."
The residents of the Tendo household were just sitting down to dinner when the Amazon girl showed up.
"Do you mind, Shampoo?" Akane demanded. "We are trying to eat here!"
"But Shampoo work very very hard on these," Shampoo said, displaying the plate of cookies . "Is okay Airen try one. No spoil his dinner."
"Well ummm... thanks Shampoo," Ranma said, rather nervous about what the catch was. "But I really shouldn't..."
"And just what's in these cookies, Shampoo?" Akane demanded. "Love potion?"
"Violent girl is too suspicious," Shampoo said. "Shampoo just want give Ranma something nice. You have lot learn about pleasing man."
"Excuse me!" Akane thundered, "just what do you mean by that!"
"If you so worried about Ranma," Shampoo said, "you eat one. Shampoo no want violent girl for husband."
"Hah," Akane said, "maybe I will!"
Shampoo smiled inwardly. Little did Akane know that Uncle Doe's patented Kontoraibansu powdered love potion wouldn't affect anyone but Ranma.
Of course little did Shampoo know that Uncle Doe's patented Kontoraibansu powdered love potion actually WOULD affect someone other than Ranma, just not the way anyone would expect.
Akane took a cookie from the plate, staring the amazon down and waiting for her to back down. When she didn't, Akane felt reasonably safe. Shampoo certainly wouldn't risk Akane falling in love with her, right?
"Here goes," she said, popping the cookie into her mouth. She quickly chewed it up and swallowed it.
And it very nearly came back. "THAT TASTES AWFUL!" she shouted. "I think I'm going to hurl!"
Shampoo scratched her head in thought. "Hmmm... maybe Kontoraibansu powder have bad taste..."
"And just what is Kontoraibansu powder, Shampoo!" Akane demanded. Meanwhile inside her the powder was already going to work.
"Oh," Shampoo said innocently, "is nothing." She pushed the cookies in front of Ranma. "Airen eat one now, yes?"
Ranma looked over to Akane, who looked a little green. "Umm... no thanks Shampoo. Anything that the tomboy can't stand I don't want no part of."
The red anger within Akane was awakened. "RAAANNNMMMAAA...."
"No worry about her," Shampoo said. "She just have no sense of taste. Probably why she cook so bad."
Ranma considered Shampoo's words for a moment. "You know, that might be..."
Akane shot to her feet, mallet already materialized and upraised. "WELL EXCUSE ME FOR LOVING YOU ENOUGH TO WANT TO COOK FOR YOU!"
The mallet never fell, however, because Akane soon realized what she had just said. She froze in shock just like everyone else. Did she really just say that?
"A... Akane?" Ranma managed, "Are... are you serious?"
"Oh my," Kasumi said. "I'm so happy for you Akane."
"She... She finally said it," Soun said.
"The future of the anything goes school is now secure!" Genma added.
"Now... wait..." Akane tried to protest weakly as she sat back down, her face a bright shade of red. "You... you're getting this all wrong..."
"How exactly are we supposed to get you telling Ranma you love him all wrong?" Nabiki asked.
Akane blushed even worse. "Shampoo... Shampoo must have done something to me!" She reached across the table and roughly grabbed Shampoo by the collar. "What was in those cookies!"
"This make no sense," Shampoo said. "Love potion no supposed to have affect on anyone but people with gender changing curse..."
"LOVE POTION!"
"You... you mean that Akane is under some love potion?" Ranma asked. "Then... that... that explains it..." Curiously enough one couldn't really tell if Ranma was relieved or dissapointed. "It... it's just the love potion talking."
"NO!" Akane protested. "I love you Ranma! More than life itself... I..." Once again she quickly realized what she was saying and this time fled to her room in terror.
"It looks like I'm too late."
Everyone turned at the sound of the new voice.
"Shampoo," Cologne said as she bounced into the room on her stick, "what have I told you about borrowing my potions?"
*****
Akane slammed her door and threw herself onto the bed. What was going on with her? It was like all of her most private and secret feelings for Ranma were trying to force their way out.
"This isn't how I want it," she told herself. "Ranma, I didn't want you to find out this way..."
*****
"Uncle Doe's Patented Kontoraibansu powdered love potion?" Ranma repeated incredulously.
"That's right," Cologne said. "A powerful if narrowly effective love potion, able to inspire love in anyone suffering from a gender changing curse."
"What kind of idiot would make a love potion with that kind of restriction?" Nabiki asked.
A bolt of lighting came down from heaven and struck Nabiki.
"Shampoo put Akane under a love potion?" Ranma demanded. "That's why she's acting like this?"
"Yes and no," Cologne said. "The Kontoraibansu powder cannot work its normal effect on anyone without a gender changing curse. However, on certain individuals, specifically ill tempered Japanese females with blue hair, it has side affects which Shampoo was not aware of."
Nabiki got back up, coughing some puffs of smoke. "Ill tempered Japanese females with blue hair, huh? Don't you think you're stretching the limits of credibility?"
Another bolt of lightning hit Nabiki.
"Cut it out!" she shouted at the heavens. "Don't think I didn't catch that Kontoraibansu gag!"
"So what is it doing to her?" Ranma demanded.
"Son-in-law," Cologne said solemnly, "Akane's heart is now open. The Kontoraibansu powder is forcing her to express her feelings for you as they come up, completely unfiltered. Right now she is incapable of hiding those feelings."
Ranma got a whole lot more nervous. "You... you mean she..." gulp "...meant all of it?
"That's right," Cologne said.
"She... she likes me?"
Cologne became visibly more frustrated. "Idiot," she said, smacking Ranma with her stick. "Anyone with an eye and three brain cells could have told you that a long time ago. What this means is that for the time being she can't hide it."
"She likes me?" Ranma repeated.
"Why are you hung up on that?" Cologne wanted to know. "Yes you idiot, she loves you! How many times does it have to be hammered into your thick skull!"
"She... she likes me?" Ranma repeated again.
"Airen!" Shampoo cried, throwing her arms around Ranma. "Akane love is no real love like Shampoo's love. Is just silly schoolgirl crush."
Ranma pushed Shampoo off of him. "I... I gotta hear it from her." He began walking towards the stairs.
"That isn't a good idea Ranma," Cologne said. "Wait until the powder has worn off at least!"
Ranma didn't seem to hear her. He was in a daze as he climbed the stairs.
"Now I'm worried," Cologne said. "The powder still hasn't run its course."
"What does this mean?" Soun wanted to know. Everyone else was listening with rapt attention.
"Bad things," Cologne said.
*****
"Akane?" Ranma said quietly as he opened the door to her room. "Are you..."
"Go away Ranma," Akane said without looking at him.
"Akane, the old ghoul says you mean all this stuff you've been saying," Ranma's voice was somewhere between concerned, terrified, and hopeful. Though she had told him to leave, he had to know. He took a few steps into the room. "Is... is it true?"
"I said go away!" Akane pleaded.
Ranma was taken aback. Akane seemed positively terrified. Was it of him? "O... Okay Akane... I'll go." He turned to leave.
"WAIT! DON'T LEAVE!"
Akane's sudden shout was certainly a surprise. Ranma turned to see what the problem was, and was even further surprised when Akane leapt into his arms and planted a very passionate, very HUNGRY kiss on his lips.
*****
"The powder's affect will not stop with Akane's feelings," Cologne said to the audience still assembled downstairs. "The true horror comes after. Once the Kontoraibansu powder takes full affect, Akane will begin to loose total control of herself. She will begin acting upon impulses and desires that she has otherwise kept hidden in the darkest recesses of her heart. Like any teenage girl in love, Akane has certain... impulses concerning Ranma, impulses that she would normally repress. This powder will bring them to light."
"What great-grandmother mean?" Shampoo asked.
Cologne was about to answer, however the lack of soundproofing between floors did it for her.
"AKANE, WAIT, NO, WE AIN'T MARRIED YET, THIS AIN'T RIGHT!"
"SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TROUSERS OFF YOU JERK!"
Shampoo went stark white. "Oh no! Shampoo must stop them!" She shot to her feet...
Only to be knocked unconscious when Happosai hit her with the table.
"Good job Master," Soun said happily.
"What on earth are you doing?" Cologne demanded. Upstairs Ranma's pleas and Akane's screaming had taken on a distinctly... different... tone. "Do you realize what is going to happen if we don't stop it?"
"Yes I do," Happosai said. "And I sure hope the boy appreciates what I do for him."
"Here here master," Soun said. "We've got them now, Saotome."
"That we do, Tendo," Genma replied. "They won't be able to wriggle out of this one."
"Interesting choice of words," Soun said.
Upstairs, the symphony of primal urges continued.
"Oh... oh my," Kasumi said shakily. "I shall have to see about more soundproofing."
*****
A bit later, Ranma lay on the floor of Akane's room, Akane cuddled up in his arms and their clothes little more than shreds scattered around them. Both were rather exhausted.
"Oh man," Ranma said, "you are gonna kill me when that stuff wears off." That being said, though, despite his earlier abject terror, he had to admit that it was worth it.
"I'm gonna break every bone in your body for taking advantage of me like this," Akane confirmed, her voice somewhere between feral, affectionate, and sensuous.
"Hey!" Ranma protested, "who took advantage of who?" As best as he could remember (his mind WAS a bit addled) it was Akane that jumped him. He'd resisted quite fiercely for quite a while... until, of course, he started to wonder why he was resisting.
"Shut up, idiot," Akane said, "and gimmie more!"
Okay, perhaps Akane wasn't so exhausted. Ranma knew he couldn't win (and also wondered if he would want to) and just nodded tiredly. How long can this last?
*****
"It has most likely worn off by now," Cologne said as upstairs it seemed that round two was well underway.
"I don't mean to disagree with you," Nabiki said, "but they're still..."
"Riding the wild horse, sinking the sub, pounding in the spike, thrusting the spear..."
Nabiki shot a disapproving glance at her older sister. "Sis, please..."
Kasumi blushed. "Oh, dear me, I'm sorry for interrupting."
"You can't just turn off your hidden urges and desires," Cologne said. "All the Kontoraibansu powder did to Akane was put them in charge for a while. After it wore off she still had them, and she had had her first taste of primal ecstasy. If nobody tells her the powder has worn off, then it will probably take her some time to realize that it is her and her alone that is..."
"Leaving Ranma all spongy, bruised, and satisfied?" Kasumi offered.
"Umm... yes."
A blood curdling scream of the aforementioned primal ecstasy echoed through the house, which seemed to wake up Shampoo.
"Oh no!" she cried. "Shampoo must save Airen!"
She got up to rush up the stairs, and Happosai mercifully clocked her with the table again, sending her back into slumber.
"Will you stop that, Happi!" Cologne demanded.
"Oh, let the boy have his fun," Happosai said cheerfully. "Maybe later I can give him a few pointers..."
*****
A few hours (and several carnal choruses) later, Akane came down the stairs wearing one of Ranma's shirts and a very mischievous look. Nobody said anything as she went into the kitchen and filled a glass with some cold water.
"Are you thirsty Akane?" Kasumi asked as Akane started back up the stairs without actually drinking any of the water.
Akane looked down at the glass in her hand and smiled in that special kind of way. "Um... yeah," she said. "'scuse me!" She seemed to almost fly up the stairs.
"Hey, Saotome," Soun said, suddenly very nervous. "I... I think it might be a wonderful idea to eat out tonight, what do you think?"
"I think it's a great idea Tendo," Genma replied a bit too enthusiastically. "We can give Ranma and Akane some time alone to... well..."
"To find that special spot that only a woman can appreciate?" Kasumi offered.
"I... umm... I was going to say to get to know each other better," Genma stammered.
"You guys can go ahead," Happosai said. "I'll stay here and keep an eye on the place..."
Cologne smacked Happosai on the head. "Oh no you don't. If I have to loose a son-in-law to bad cookies you certainly aren't getting anything out of the deal."
"No fair!" Happosai protested as he was hoisted over Cologne's shoulder, "It's my lifelong dream and you are going to make me miss it! No fair!"
Genma meanwhile hoisted the still unconscious Shampoo over his shoulder. And with that, everyone departed, leaving Ranma and Akane alone to do what came natural for two lovers (especially if one of them had a gender switching curse).
*****
The next day...
Ranma and Akane walked to school in silence. It turns out that Akane didn't actually need someone to tell her the powder had worn off. All it took was to wake up in girl-type Ranma's arms and remember everything they had done the previous night.
Akane punted Ranma into the koi pond an instant later.
They hadn't said anything after that. They dressed in silence, ate in silence (so intent on not saying anything that they didn't really notice that nobody else was in the house, having decided to keep clear for a couple of days, just in case) and now they walked in silence.
"Oh man," Ranma finally said, more to himself than anything, "I am so tired..."
They both stopped at the same instant, blushing furiously at the underlying implication.
"It's your fault Ranma," Akane suddenly snapped. "You... you took advantage of me!"
"Me?!" Ranma protested, dropping down from the fence to face her. "You were all over me! There was nothing I could do but..."
"Oh yeah, sure," Akane snapped. "And just who was the one on top with the handcuffs?"
"That was your idea Akane!" Ranma shot back. "Where did you get those anyway?" he asked out of curiosity.
"They were in Kasumi's... THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Akane seemed to shudder in rage. "I would never have done any of that if it hadn't been for those stupid cookies! That night was the low point of my life!"
Ranma got a downcast look. "Really?"
"That's right!" Akane said. "I am not some pervert!"
"'Cause... well... I thought..."
"Thought what, Ranma?" Akane demanded sternly.
"I thought it was kinda nice..."
His words seemed to neatly defuse her anger. "You mean it?"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. Uhh... Akane?"
Akane still seemed to be in a daze. "Yes?"
"Can I... umm... well..."
"What Ranma?" Akane asked.
"If... well... if you like me and all... I was wondering if I could... well..."
There was an obvious interpretation of Ranma's gibberish, and Akane took it. "I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU AGAIN!" she shouted as she swung her school bag at him.
Ranma easily dodged the bag. "Geez Akane, that's not what I meant! I just wanted to know if I could hold your hand!"
For the second time his words defused her anger. Her attack ceased as suddenly as it began. "You... you want to... hold my hand?"
"Yeah," Ranma said sheepishly. "I... I'll... umm... understand if... you know... if you don't want to..."
Akane went from surprise to puzzlement to frustration. After what they had shared last night he was nervous about holding her hand? "You dummy," she said, slipping her hand into his. She felt a surge of warmth go through her as Ranma gave her hand a squeeze.
She realized that she wanted him right now, in the worst possible way, but they were going to be late for school as it was. Maybe tonight...
FIN.
Author's notes:
1) Okay, where the heck did this come from? The original idea was to write a series of "paring off" stories which would have some popular choices (Ranma/Akane, Ukyo/Ryoga, Kuno/Nabiki, etc) ending up together under less than warm and fuzzy curcumstances. In some regards, sort of an Anti-WAFF. The inspiration for this one just sort of hit me one day, and I decided to start writing.
2) What kind or ridiculous name is Uncle Doe? I'll have you know that my adorable little nieces gave me that name years ago (they had trouble properly pronouncing the J in Joe at the time, you see). You're going to have to figure out the Kontoraibansu gag on your own (hint, it's not much of a gag).
3) Do I really believe it would come to this? Not really, if for no other reason than there's no Uncle Doe around distributing Kontoraibansu powder to the good amazons of Nerima. Do I believe in the Ranma/Akane matchup? I am not exactly a rabid cultist, but yes. The mutual attraction is clear to see. I leave it to greater sages than me to decide if it is enduring or transitory.
4) Will it be continued? How would I know? It depends on if I am struck by inspiration again.
Pointless tales of paring off
Standard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
--------------------
CASE 1: Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo, OR Bad Cookies and Lots of Orgasms
"Ranma," Shampoo said as she bounded into the Tendo household, "I bring cookies for you."
The residents of the Tendo household were just sitting down to dinner when the Amazon girl showed up.
"Do you mind, Shampoo?" Akane demanded. "We are trying to eat here!"
"But Shampoo work very very hard on these," Shampoo said, displaying the plate of cookies . "Is okay Airen try one. No spoil his dinner."
"Well ummm... thanks Shampoo," Ranma said, rather nervous about what the catch was. "But I really shouldn't..."
"And just what's in these cookies, Shampoo?" Akane demanded. "Love potion?"
"Violent girl is too suspicious," Shampoo said. "Shampoo just want give Ranma something nice. You have lot learn about pleasing man."
"Excuse me!" Akane thundered, "just what do you mean by that!"
"If you so worried about Ranma," Shampoo said, "you eat one. Shampoo no want violent girl for husband."
"Hah," Akane said, "maybe I will!"
Shampoo smiled inwardly. Little did Akane know that Uncle Doe's patented Kontoraibansu powdered love potion wouldn't affect anyone but Ranma.
Of course little did Shampoo know that Uncle Doe's patented Kontoraibansu powdered love potion actually WOULD affect someone other than Ranma, just not the way anyone would expect.
Akane took a cookie from the plate, staring the amazon down and waiting for her to back down. When she didn't, Akane felt reasonably safe. Shampoo certainly wouldn't risk Akane falling in love with her, right?
"Here goes," she said, popping the cookie into her mouth. She quickly chewed it up and swallowed it.
And it very nearly came back. "THAT TASTES AWFUL!" she shouted. "I think I'm going to hurl!"
Shampoo scratched her head in thought. "Hmmm... maybe Kontoraibansu powder have bad taste..."
"And just what is Kontoraibansu powder, Shampoo!" Akane demanded. Meanwhile inside her the powder was already going to work.
"Oh," Shampoo said innocently, "is nothing." She pushed the cookies in front of Ranma. "Airen eat one now, yes?"
Ranma looked over to Akane, who looked a little green. "Umm... no thanks Shampoo. Anything that the tomboy can't stand I don't want no part of."
The red anger within Akane was awakened. "RAAANNNMMMAAA...."
"No worry about her," Shampoo said. "She just have no sense of taste. Probably why she cook so bad."
Ranma considered Shampoo's words for a moment. "You know, that might be..."
Akane shot to her feet, mallet already materialized and upraised. "WELL EXCUSE ME FOR LOVING YOU ENOUGH TO WANT TO COOK FOR YOU!"
The mallet never fell, however, because Akane soon realized what she had just said. She froze in shock just like everyone else. Did she really just say that?
"A... Akane?" Ranma managed, "Are... are you serious?"
"Oh my," Kasumi said. "I'm so happy for you Akane."
"She... She finally said it," Soun said.
"The future of the anything goes school is now secure!" Genma added.
"Now... wait..." Akane tried to protest weakly as she sat back down, her face a bright shade of red. "You... you're getting this all wrong..."
"How exactly are we supposed to get you telling Ranma you love him all wrong?" Nabiki asked.
Akane blushed even worse. "Shampoo... Shampoo must have done something to me!" She reached across the table and roughly grabbed Shampoo by the collar. "What was in those cookies!"
"This make no sense," Shampoo said. "Love potion no supposed to have affect on anyone but people with gender changing curse..."
"LOVE POTION!"
"You... you mean that Akane is under some love potion?" Ranma asked. "Then... that... that explains it..." Curiously enough one couldn't really tell if Ranma was relieved or dissapointed. "It... it's just the love potion talking."
"NO!" Akane protested. "I love you Ranma! More than life itself... I..." Once again she quickly realized what she was saying and this time fled to her room in terror.
"It looks like I'm too late."
Everyone turned at the sound of the new voice.
"Shampoo," Cologne said as she bounced into the room on her stick, "what have I told you about borrowing my potions?"
*****
Akane slammed her door and threw herself onto the bed. What was going on with her? It was like all of her most private and secret feelings for Ranma were trying to force their way out.
"This isn't how I want it," she told herself. "Ranma, I didn't want you to find out this way..."
*****
"Uncle Doe's Patented Kontoraibansu powdered love potion?" Ranma repeated incredulously.
"That's right," Cologne said. "A powerful if narrowly effective love potion, able to inspire love in anyone suffering from a gender changing curse."
"What kind of idiot would make a love potion with that kind of restriction?" Nabiki asked.
A bolt of lighting came down from heaven and struck Nabiki.
"Shampoo put Akane under a love potion?" Ranma demanded. "That's why she's acting like this?"
"Yes and no," Cologne said. "The Kontoraibansu powder cannot work its normal effect on anyone without a gender changing curse. However, on certain individuals, specifically ill tempered Japanese females with blue hair, it has side affects which Shampoo was not aware of."
Nabiki got back up, coughing some puffs of smoke. "Ill tempered Japanese females with blue hair, huh? Don't you think you're stretching the limits of credibility?"
Another bolt of lightning hit Nabiki.
"Cut it out!" she shouted at the heavens. "Don't think I didn't catch that Kontoraibansu gag!"
"So what is it doing to her?" Ranma demanded.
"Son-in-law," Cologne said solemnly, "Akane's heart is now open. The Kontoraibansu powder is forcing her to express her feelings for you as they come up, completely unfiltered. Right now she is incapable of hiding those feelings."
Ranma got a whole lot more nervous. "You... you mean she..." gulp "...meant all of it?
"That's right," Cologne said.
"She... she likes me?"
Cologne became visibly more frustrated. "Idiot," she said, smacking Ranma with her stick. "Anyone with an eye and three brain cells could have told you that a long time ago. What this means is that for the time being she can't hide it."
"She likes me?" Ranma repeated.
"Why are you hung up on that?" Cologne wanted to know. "Yes you idiot, she loves you! How many times does it have to be hammered into your thick skull!"
"She... she likes me?" Ranma repeated again.
"Airen!" Shampoo cried, throwing her arms around Ranma. "Akane love is no real love like Shampoo's love. Is just silly schoolgirl crush."
Ranma pushed Shampoo off of him. "I... I gotta hear it from her." He began walking towards the stairs.
"That isn't a good idea Ranma," Cologne said. "Wait until the powder has worn off at least!"
Ranma didn't seem to hear her. He was in a daze as he climbed the stairs.
"Now I'm worried," Cologne said. "The powder still hasn't run its course."
"What does this mean?" Soun wanted to know. Everyone else was listening with rapt attention.
"Bad things," Cologne said.
*****
"Akane?" Ranma said quietly as he opened the door to her room. "Are you..."
"Go away Ranma," Akane said without looking at him.
"Akane, the old ghoul says you mean all this stuff you've been saying," Ranma's voice was somewhere between concerned, terrified, and hopeful. Though she had told him to leave, he had to know. He took a few steps into the room. "Is... is it true?"
"I said go away!" Akane pleaded.
Ranma was taken aback. Akane seemed positively terrified. Was it of him? "O... Okay Akane... I'll go." He turned to leave.
"WAIT! DON'T LEAVE!"
Akane's sudden shout was certainly a surprise. Ranma turned to see what the problem was, and was even further surprised when Akane leapt into his arms and planted a very passionate, very HUNGRY kiss on his lips.
*****
"The powder's affect will not stop with Akane's feelings," Cologne said to the audience still assembled downstairs. "The true horror comes after. Once the Kontoraibansu powder takes full affect, Akane will begin to loose total control of herself. She will begin acting upon impulses and desires that she has otherwise kept hidden in the darkest recesses of her heart. Like any teenage girl in love, Akane has certain... impulses concerning Ranma, impulses that she would normally repress. This powder will bring them to light."
"What great-grandmother mean?" Shampoo asked.
Cologne was about to answer, however the lack of soundproofing between floors did it for her.
"AKANE, WAIT, NO, WE AIN'T MARRIED YET, THIS AIN'T RIGHT!"
"SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TROUSERS OFF YOU JERK!"
Shampoo went stark white. "Oh no! Shampoo must stop them!" She shot to her feet...
Only to be knocked unconscious when Happosai hit her with the table.
"Good job Master," Soun said happily.
"What on earth are you doing?" Cologne demanded. Upstairs Ranma's pleas and Akane's screaming had taken on a distinctly... different... tone. "Do you realize what is going to happen if we don't stop it?"
"Yes I do," Happosai said. "And I sure hope the boy appreciates what I do for him."
"Here here master," Soun said. "We've got them now, Saotome."
"That we do, Tendo," Genma replied. "They won't be able to wriggle out of this one."
"Interesting choice of words," Soun said.
Upstairs, the symphony of primal urges continued.
"Oh... oh my," Kasumi said shakily. "I shall have to see about more soundproofing."
*****
A bit later, Ranma lay on the floor of Akane's room, Akane cuddled up in his arms and their clothes little more than shreds scattered around them. Both were rather exhausted.
"Oh man," Ranma said, "you are gonna kill me when that stuff wears off." That being said, though, despite his earlier abject terror, he had to admit that it was worth it.
"I'm gonna break every bone in your body for taking advantage of me like this," Akane confirmed, her voice somewhere between feral, affectionate, and sensuous.
"Hey!" Ranma protested, "who took advantage of who?" As best as he could remember (his mind WAS a bit addled) it was Akane that jumped him. He'd resisted quite fiercely for quite a while... until, of course, he started to wonder why he was resisting.
"Shut up, idiot," Akane said, "and gimmie more!"
Okay, perhaps Akane wasn't so exhausted. Ranma knew he couldn't win (and also wondered if he would want to) and just nodded tiredly. How long can this last?
*****
"It has most likely worn off by now," Cologne said as upstairs it seemed that round two was well underway.
"I don't mean to disagree with you," Nabiki said, "but they're still..."
"Riding the wild horse, sinking the sub, pounding in the spike, thrusting the spear..."
Nabiki shot a disapproving glance at her older sister. "Sis, please..."
Kasumi blushed. "Oh, dear me, I'm sorry for interrupting."
"You can't just turn off your hidden urges and desires," Cologne said. "All the Kontoraibansu powder did to Akane was put them in charge for a while. After it wore off she still had them, and she had had her first taste of primal ecstasy. If nobody tells her the powder has worn off, then it will probably take her some time to realize that it is her and her alone that is..."
"Leaving Ranma all spongy, bruised, and satisfied?" Kasumi offered.
"Umm... yes."
A blood curdling scream of the aforementioned primal ecstasy echoed through the house, which seemed to wake up Shampoo.
"Oh no!" she cried. "Shampoo must save Airen!"
She got up to rush up the stairs, and Happosai mercifully clocked her with the table again, sending her back into slumber.
"Will you stop that, Happi!" Cologne demanded.
"Oh, let the boy have his fun," Happosai said cheerfully. "Maybe later I can give him a few pointers..."
*****
A few hours (and several carnal choruses) later, Akane came down the stairs wearing one of Ranma's shirts and a very mischievous look. Nobody said anything as she went into the kitchen and filled a glass with some cold water.
"Are you thirsty Akane?" Kasumi asked as Akane started back up the stairs without actually drinking any of the water.
Akane looked down at the glass in her hand and smiled in that special kind of way. "Um... yeah," she said. "'scuse me!" She seemed to almost fly up the stairs.
"Hey, Saotome," Soun said, suddenly very nervous. "I... I think it might be a wonderful idea to eat out tonight, what do you think?"
"I think it's a great idea Tendo," Genma replied a bit too enthusiastically. "We can give Ranma and Akane some time alone to... well..."
"To find that special spot that only a woman can appreciate?" Kasumi offered.
"I... umm... I was going to say to get to know each other better," Genma stammered.
"You guys can go ahead," Happosai said. "I'll stay here and keep an eye on the place..."
Cologne smacked Happosai on the head. "Oh no you don't. If I have to loose a son-in-law to bad cookies you certainly aren't getting anything out of the deal."
"No fair!" Happosai protested as he was hoisted over Cologne's shoulder, "It's my lifelong dream and you are going to make me miss it! No fair!"
Genma meanwhile hoisted the still unconscious Shampoo over his shoulder. And with that, everyone departed, leaving Ranma and Akane alone to do what came natural for two lovers (especially if one of them had a gender switching curse).
*****
The next day...
Ranma and Akane walked to school in silence. It turns out that Akane didn't actually need someone to tell her the powder had worn off. All it took was to wake up in girl-type Ranma's arms and remember everything they had done the previous night.
Akane punted Ranma into the koi pond an instant later.
They hadn't said anything after that. They dressed in silence, ate in silence (so intent on not saying anything that they didn't really notice that nobody else was in the house, having decided to keep clear for a couple of days, just in case) and now they walked in silence.
"Oh man," Ranma finally said, more to himself than anything, "I am so tired..."
They both stopped at the same instant, blushing furiously at the underlying implication.
"It's your fault Ranma," Akane suddenly snapped. "You... you took advantage of me!"
"Me?!" Ranma protested, dropping down from the fence to face her. "You were all over me! There was nothing I could do but..."
"Oh yeah, sure," Akane snapped. "And just who was the one on top with the handcuffs?"
"That was your idea Akane!" Ranma shot back. "Where did you get those anyway?" he asked out of curiosity.
"They were in Kasumi's... THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Akane seemed to shudder in rage. "I would never have done any of that if it hadn't been for those stupid cookies! That night was the low point of my life!"
Ranma got a downcast look. "Really?"
"That's right!" Akane said. "I am not some pervert!"
"'Cause... well... I thought..."
"Thought what, Ranma?" Akane demanded sternly.
"I thought it was kinda nice..."
His words seemed to neatly defuse her anger. "You mean it?"
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. Uhh... Akane?"
Akane still seemed to be in a daze. "Yes?"
"Can I... umm... well..."
"What Ranma?" Akane asked.
"If... well... if you like me and all... I was wondering if I could... well..."
There was an obvious interpretation of Ranma's gibberish, and Akane took it. "I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU AGAIN!" she shouted as she swung her school bag at him.
Ranma easily dodged the bag. "Geez Akane, that's not what I meant! I just wanted to know if I could hold your hand!"
For the second time his words defused her anger. Her attack ceased as suddenly as it began. "You... you want to... hold my hand?"
"Yeah," Ranma said sheepishly. "I... I'll... umm... understand if... you know... if you don't want to..."
Akane went from surprise to puzzlement to frustration. After what they had shared last night he was nervous about holding her hand? "You dummy," she said, slipping her hand into his. She felt a surge of warmth go through her as Ranma gave her hand a squeeze.
She realized that she wanted him right now, in the worst possible way, but they were going to be late for school as it was. Maybe tonight...
FIN.
Author's notes:
1) Okay, where the heck did this come from? The original idea was to write a series of "paring off" stories which would have some popular choices (Ranma/Akane, Ukyo/Ryoga, Kuno/Nabiki, etc) ending up together under less than warm and fuzzy curcumstances. In some regards, sort of an Anti-WAFF. The inspiration for this one just sort of hit me one day, and I decided to start writing.
2) What kind or ridiculous name is Uncle Doe? I'll have you know that my adorable little nieces gave me that name years ago (they had trouble properly pronouncing the J in Joe at the time, you see). You're going to have to figure out the Kontoraibansu gag on your own (hint, it's not much of a gag).
3) Do I really believe it would come to this? Not really, if for no other reason than there's no Uncle Doe around distributing Kontoraibansu powder to the good amazons of Nerima. Do I believe in the Ranma/Akane matchup? I am not exactly a rabid cultist, but yes. The mutual attraction is clear to see. I leave it to greater sages than me to decide if it is enduring or transitory.
4) Will it be continued? How would I know? It depends on if I am struck by inspiration again.