Couple's Therapy
Pointless tales of pairing off
Standard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
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CASE 3: Nabiki Tendo and Tatewaki Kuno, OR The Siege of Kuno
The day after the night of a thousand satisfied sighs...
Nabiki Tendo sat in class during lunch, Her lunch uneaten, her head resting on her hand, lost in thought.
The game, she realized, was starting to get old.
Most people no doubt thought of Nabiki as simply a very greedy girl who would sell her fiance (if she had one) for six thousand yen. Well, that wasn't quite true. She'd let him go for five thousand, though she'd also expect another six thousand from him as a severance package.
She was, to say the least, a little bit MORE than very greedy.
The only problem was that things around here were starting to become routine. It was something she realized at the hotel last night, hiding out while Akane and Ranma had the house all to themselves and did god knows what.
As Nabiki sat in the hotel room, trying to figure out how to turn this new event to her advantage, she realized that the whole thing was simply not all that much fun anymore. The relatively small change she made on her dealings had lost its allure. Working a free meal out of someone didn't seem as appealing as it used to. She wanted more. She wanted something more than trading small change for a few racy photos.
Maybe it was because Akane had finally (albeit with the help of a wierd potion) made real progress in her relationship with Ranma, but Nabiki felt that she could be so much more than she was now, could have so much more, and she WANTED it. She wanted money, power, influence. More to the point, she felt she deserved it.
Somewhere, some part of her pointed out that she was only seventeen, she had plenty of time to become a sucess, and there was no reason to rush things. She told it to shut up. Nabiki Tendo isn't necessarily the most patient of people. She was setting up pyramid schemes to deprive classmates of their lunch money when she was six years old. Why should she have to wait any longer for greatness?
She sighed. "Maybe I should just get myself a boyfriend or something," she said to herself, then started laughing at the absurdity of the thought. No; romance, love, and the building of a family might have been enough for some girls, but not Nabiki Tendo. Not for the girl voted "most likely to be gunned down by the mob" in junior high!
Nevertheless, Nabiki knew that she had no choice but to wait. She knew she had long years of hard work ahead of her before she could make her dreams of coporate empire a reality. Unless she were to somehow marry someone rich, someone dense enough to let her take full reign or his assets...
"Nabiki Tendo!" Kuno interupted, "I need to speak to you."
If he had known how opportune his arrival was, Kuno would have run for the hills. In the handful of seconds following his interuption, Nabiki's lightning quick mind had already begun to process Kuno's estimated net worth and what she could do with it. She looked up, giving Kuno a wicked smile that for the moment had him on edge.
"Yes, Kuno-baby?" She said.
Kuno quickly got over his unease at Nabiki's friendly yet strangely predatory smile. "I have heard base rumors from the louts Hiroshi and Daisuke that the cretinous Ranma Saotome has been seen holding the hand of the beauteous Akane Tendo."
"So they made it to school today," Nabiki said, her mind furiously working while she kept her calm facade, "that's a shock."
Kuno slammed a fist down on Nabiki's desk. "What do you mean by this, woman?" he demanded. "What vile ensorcelment has Saotome worked on the fair Akane?"
Nabiki had in the meanwhile worked up a rather viable strategy that... well, made her more than a little nauseous. Actually it made her want to toss her breakfast all over Kuno. It was unthinkable, unspeakable, unprecedented...
But if it failed she risked nothing, or so she hoped. If it succeeded she had what she wanted most of all. Money, power, a chance to go from dealing in highschool bathrooms to corporate boardrooms in less than a year! But could she stomach the price she would have to pay, what she would have to endure, to make her dream a reality? Did she dare... Did she dare to shake the universe to its foundation in an act that was against all principles of reason and sanity?
Did she dare... to become Tatewaki Kuno's WIFE?
Was the prize she sought, the prize of wealth, power, and influence, worth that steep and terrible price?
Yes.
Actually, not only yes, but HELL YES!
So she told him just what was up.
"No sorcery, Kuno-baby," she said. "Though something did happen between them..."
"What happened, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno demanded. "What could have happened that would make the divine Akane Tendo lose herself enough to consent to let that lout grasp her beautiful hand?"
Nabiki dearly wished Kasumi were here, the eldest Tendo daughter had a real flair for breaking this sort of news.
"Well, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said, "the short form is that Akane slept with him."
Many people have theorized that Tatewaki Kuno's mind has something of an automatic safety shutdown which disconnects it when he hears or sees something he doesn't want to believe. This allows him to reinterpet the offending information to better suit his way of thinking without his mind collapsing. Others theorize that Kuno is just that dense. For whatever reason...
"The despicable Ranma Saotome!" he raged, heedless of the crowd of students that had pratically materialized around them as soon as Nabiki spilled the beans, "sharing the same bedding as the virtuous Akane Tendo! The fiend!"
"You seem to be missing it," Nabiki said.
"You told me they slept together," Kuno said. "There is little to miss."
"Yes," Nabiki conceeded, "but they didn't actually sleep or anything."
"Your words make no sense Nabiki Tendo!" Kuno pronounced.
"They make perfect sense to me," one of the students said.
"Okay, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said, "from the top. Last night..."
Kuno nodded, waiting for Nabiki to continue.
"All night..."
Another nod from Kuno.
"Ranma and Akane..."
Another nod.
"Had sex."
The audience gasped in astonishment and began gabbing amongst themselves as to the ramifications of this new development.
Kuno stood as still and silent as a granite monolith.
"They had a lot of hot, sweaty, noisy sex," Nabiki decided to add.
Kuno collapsed.
"I guess he took that pretty well."
Kuno shot back to his feet, his face a mask of rage. "YOU LIE!"
"Now why would I lie about something like this?" Nabiki asked. She decided to push him over the edge. "I think the pig-tailed girl made an appearance too."
That sent the crowd wild. Kuno collapsed again.
He then just as promptly shot back to his feet, his bokken aimed at Nabiki's heart with a murderous intent.
"VILE WOMAN!" he shouted, "know that though you are but a defenseless girl I will strike you down for such slander!"
Nabiki raised her hands nonthreateningly. "Now hold it Kuno," she said. "Everything I've told you is true. I have nothing to gain by lying to you. I just thought you would want to know."
"You swear on your very life?" Kuno demanded.
"On my very life," Nabiki said.
For a moment Nabiki thought that perhaps Kuno didn't believe her, because he only seemed to get angrier. She briefly wondered if she had just managed to get herself killed.
"SAOTOME!" he thundered loud enough to shake the windows. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS UNSPEAKABLE DEED! I TATEWAKI KUNO, THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH, WILL AVENGE THE HONOR OF AKANE TENDO AND THE PIG-TAILED GIRL! PREPARE YOURSELF, WRETCH, FOR YOUR TIME IS..."
"Aren't you jumping to conclusions?" Nabiki interupted.
"What do you mean, woman?" Kuno demanded, a bit annoyed that his big dramatic speech had been interrupted.
"Well," Nabiki said, "I admit I didn't exactly see anything, but from what I could hear it seemed pretty clear that the whole thing was Akane's idea, not Ranma's." Though she didn't expect Kuno to just accept that right away, his eventual acceptance would be important, if not absolutely necessary, if she were to eventually win him herself.
Kuno scoffed. "Impossible."
"Oh, Do tell."
"Akane Tendo like all maidens is pure, noble, and innocent," Kuno said. "She is simply incapable of the base behavior you ascribe to her. Obviously the vile monster Saotome has worked his evil sorcery upon her."
"Gee, Kuno-baby," Nabiki asked. "Am I as pure and noble?"
"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said, "You are not a maiden, but likely a deamon from hell sent to plague me."
"Why Kuno-baby," Nabiki replied, "I'm flattered."
"Enough of your prattle, woman!" Kuno declared. "I'm off!" With that he ran out of the room. The crowd gathered around Nabiki.
"Is it true?" one of them said. "Did Akane and Ranma do it?"
Nabiki smiled. "Now would I lie to you?" she asked, getting up from her seat. "Now if you'll excuse me..."
She definitely didn't want to miss this.
*****
Skipping ahead, or rather back to where we left off...
Ranma and Akane sat just apart, trying really hard to not look like they had been snuggling in each other's arms after a bout of lovemaking. Kuno and Ukyo faced them down, weapons drawn, neither of them looking particularly happy.
"Saotome..." Kuno hissed. "You enemy of women, you despoiler of virtue, today you breath your LAST!"
"Sorry honey," Ukyo said, "it's the principle of the thing."
Then they both attacked. Kuno went after Ranma with a murderous intent, his bokken moving so fast that even Ranma was having trouble keeping track of it. Ranma did his best to avoid the strikes, but he could feel the airpressure alone ripping at him.
Ukyo in the meantime went after Akane just as hard. "You have no right you tramp!" she shouted as she flailed her giant spatula. "Ranma was promised to me before you even met him!" She let loose a volley of smaller spatulas. Akane mostly managed to avoid them, though in the process she lost her footing and fell to the ground. Ukyo loomed over her.
"You understand me you slut?!" Ukyo shouted, raising her spatula for the final blow, "RANMA'S MINE!"
"Akane!" Ranma cried.
Kuno took advantage of Ranma's distraction and landed a solid blow against his back, sending him sprawling to the ground.
Ukyo swung her spatula.
Akane tensed, waiting for the blow.
Ranma screamed Akane's name again, knowing he could never get there in time.
And Kuno parried the blow.
"What are you doing you jackass?!" Ukyo demanded of the kendoist.
"Our fight is with the foul Saotome!" Kuno snapped. "It is he who has done ill by taking the virtue of the fair Akane Tendo!"
"Akane seduced Ranma you idiot!" Ukyo shot back. "I saw it, remember? She was all over him and he was pleading with her to stop!"
Kuno's eyes flashed with anger. "I will not allow you to slander the good and pure Akane Tendo in this way! En Garde!"
While Kuno and Ukyo went at it, Ranma and Akane slipped away.
Shortly thereafter, Ukyo quickly proved herself the more angry person, sending Kuno into unconciousness with a solid blow to the head.
"All right," she said, "now that that's out of the way..." she looked around for Akane and Ranma, only to find that neither of them were anywhere to be seen.
"Crap," she said. "Where did they go?" She looked down at the unconcious kendoist. "This is all your fault!" she declared, her voice begining to crack, her anger quickly sliding into misery. "If it... it hadn't been for you..." she fell to her knees and began sobbing, wondering if she was refering to Kuno, Akane, or herself "you buting in like that..."
She stopped sobbing. With a sad smile she got back to her feet and walked off.
*****
Kuno awoke to find himself lying in a bed in the Nurse's office. With a start he imediately sat up. "SAOTOME!" he raged. "YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME FOREVER!"
"Haven't you had enough, Kuno-baby?" Nabiki asked, sitting by his bedside.
"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said, "what is your purpose here?"
"Gee Kuno-baby," Nabiki replied. "I was the one who found you and brought you here. You were in sorry shape." And that was true, Nabiki had found Kuno unconcious and actually had dragged him to the nurse's office. Oh the things she did for financial security!
"That fiend Saotome!" Kuno spat, "that corrupter of women! Twisting the fair Ukyo's mind to thoughts of jealousy and turning her against all that it noble! He will pay for this and all his other crimes!"
Here goes, Nabiki thought to herself, steeling herself for what promised to be a truly unpleasant next few moments.
"Oh Tatewaki!" She cried, suddenly very emotional, "why must you always fight that awful Ranma?"
Kuno would have made a big response about honor, duty, and love, but he realized something was very amiss. "Tate...Tatewaki?" he sputtered. Nabiki had never EVER spoken to him in such an... affectionate... manner. "Nabiki Tendo, are you feeling all right?"
Nabiki looked down, tears running down her cheeks. "Don't you know that every time you risk your life fighting that monster I die a little inside?" she said softly.
Kuno imediately got a wary look. "Nabiki Tendo, I care not for your jests," he said.
"Jests," Nabiki repeated, sounding awfully hurt. "Of course... of course you would think that. All this time, all the times I tried to push you away... Of course you would think that of me..." She threw her arms around Kuno and began weeping.
"Nabiki Tendo, unhand me!" Kuno demanded. As much as he believed that most girls wanted to tearfully embrace him, Nabiki just didn't register as one of them. "Cease your madness!"
"Don't you understand?" Nabiki tearfully confessed. "All those times I tried to drive you away, I was only hiding! I... I could never bring myself to admit the truth... I love you Tatewaki! I always have and I always will!"
Something in Kuno's mind reached critical meltdown. It was as though the universe itself had gone all crosseyed and backwards. Nabiki Tendo, the sucubus, the vampiress that fed off of him, leeched him constantly for every paltry yen she could, loved him? No, it could not be! And yet...
"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno asked. "Do you speak the truth?"
Nabiki gazed up into his eyes, her own eyes shining with a love (or a close facsimili) that Kuno had never seen before from ANYONE.
"Yes, Tatewaki," Nabiki said softly. "I swear it on my very life."
Kuno looked to the heavens (or ceiling rather) in anguish. She loved him! Oh curse his magnificence, that even the most bitter of enemies should be swayed to him! Oh cruel fate!
"Nabiki," he said solemly. "That I have been able to turn you away from the dark path you have walked for so long fills me with joy. However, know that I can never return your pure and innocent love. My heart, fair Nabiki, will ever belong to Akane Tendo and the Pig Tailed Girl. I am sorry."
Nabiki's anguished expression quickly changed to something entirely other, but Kuno didn't notice. She got up without saying a word and walked out.
"Alas the poor maiden," Kuno mourned, "to be denied her love so cruelly. Truly this world is a harsh and terrible place!"
*****
"Drat," Nabiki said as soon as she got out the door. "There's room enough in his heart and his tiny little mind for Akane and his pig tailed girl. The least he could do is make a little for me."
She'd really hoped that would have gone better. She'd hope to play into his samurai fantasy mindset, smashing her way into his insane heart like a melodramatic sledgehammer, and she'd made progress. Kuno no longer refered to her by her full name, using a more informal form of adress, but it was far less than she hoped for. She could keep working on him, chipping away his resistance until he finally crumbled before her, but that would take time, and she doubted she could stomach much more of this act. It was because she couldn't stand the idea of a long courtship with Kuno in the first place that she had decided to go with the one massive blast of pure sap.
"At this rate I'll be able to earn my own fortune before I can get his," she complained. "That is if it doesn't drive me batty! I need something else, but what?"
*****
It would be two weeks before she came up with another idea.
Most of the residents of the Tendo Dojo were still staying away, though this time it wasn't Ranma and Akane's activities that caused it, but Shampoo and Mousse, who had the place under virtual siege trying to get Akane to give up Ranma.
But that part is a story for another time. The important thing is that with the house off limits, that meant most of the food came from elsewhere.
In this particular case, Nabiki was just on her way to Ucchans for dinner, still with no idea how to get her hands on Kuno's assets, when she ran into Ryoga.
This in itself was a surprise, but what made it even more interesting was that the martial artist appeared to be in real, pure fear for his life.
"Kee... Keep her away from me!" he pleaded with Nabiki, hiding behind her.
Okay, Nabiki decided, this was certainly a shock to the system. Normally Ryoga feared nothing, except maybe cold water and talking to Akane. Just what could be going on that would give the eternal wanderer the screaming willies?
"WHERE ARE YOU RYOGA HIBIKI!?!?" a bitter, angry, bloodthirsty, and barely recognizable voice demanded as though in answer to Nabiki's unspoken question. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IN WAYS YOU CAN'T BEGIN TO IMAGINE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!"
"So Ryoga," Nabiki asked nonchalantly, "what exactly did you do to Ukyo?"
"I don't know!" Ryoga declared, terrified. "Just keep her away from me!"
"Here piggy piggy piggy!" Ukyo called, apparently coming closer. "I'm feeling like bacon tonight!"
Ryoga tried to cower even closer to Nabiki.
"Hey," Nabiki said, "Nobody gets that close to me without dinner and some flowers."
Ukyo came around the corner, and just from the rage that seemed to radiate off of her, Nabiki was almost (almost) inspired to run away screaming into the night in terror. Instead she just crossed her arms and stepped aside to give the girl a clear shot. Whatever was going on, Nabiki didn't want to be in the line of fire.
"THERE YOU ARE!" Ukyo shouted in victory. "Did you really think you could just knock me up and get away with it Ryoga?" she demanded.
Okay, some euphemisms were lost on Ryoga. "Knock you up?" he questioned.
"YOU GOT ME PREGNANT YOU JACKASS!" Ukyo clarified. "God knows how your guys found the way... but you did it. YOU'VE RUINED ME!" She swung her spatula. Though Ryoga managed to dodge the blow (even though his brain had siezed up after what Ukyo had told him), Ukyo cleaved a fair bit of sidewalk with her attack. If it had connected it would have likely split his skull like a melon.
Not that Nabiki noticed. Her mind was still stuck on the idea that Ryoga had gotten Ukyo pregnant. That certainly wasn't all that expected.
"WHAT IS RANMA GOING TO THINK OF ME NOW?" Ukyo demanded, continuing her attacks. "HOW AM I GOING TO SUPPORT MYSELF AND A KID? HUH RYOGA? HOW?"
Ryoga meanwhile seemed to be lost in anguish, as though he was trying to sort everything out. He continued to evade Ukyo's blows, but his mind was definitely elsewhere.
Suddenly his expression changed, as though he had made a decision, one of them monumental, earth shaking decisions.
"I'VE LOST ANY CHANCE I EVER HAD FOR HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU, RYOGA!" Ukyo screamed, looking to finish the job, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?"
Suddenly Ryoga snatched Ukyo's spatula and swiftly disarmed her, grabbing her wrists.
"Marry me, Ukyo," he said quietly.
Nabiki was stunned, as was Ukyo, but the okonomiyaki chef recovered quickly, savagely kicking Ryoga in the groin.
"I'm trying to kill you, you jackass!" she hissed. "I'm not looking for a husband!"
"I... I know..." Ryoga said through the pain of crushed jewels. "I... I can never be forgiven for what I did to you, but you... you can't take care of our child by yourself."
Ukyo kicked him in the groin again. And again. And again. And again.
"Damn you Ryoga!" she said as the now quite possibly neutered martial artist writhed on the ground in pain. "Damn you and your honor!"
Nabiki in the meanwhile processed what she had just witnessed. Of course, honor! If she could just...
She quickly took on a rather greenish cast when she realized what she was thinking.
"Oh god," she said to herself, wondering if she was taking this thing too far. "Is Kuno's money really worth it?"
In one way it was really a small sacrifice. She'd probably even enjoy it, and a part of her was willing to make ANY sacrifice to get what she wanted. It's... it's no worse than pretending she loved the idiot, right?
But if it didn't work... If she let Kuno do... do THAT to her without getting what she wanted... Could she forgive herself? And even if it did work... if this so called small sacrifice actually got her Kuno and his money, could she ever feel clean again?
*****
It had taken a couple days to get everything set up. The residents of the Tendo dojo had finally been able to return home after Akane's surprising defeat of Shampoo. Though that matter was far from resolved, things had returned to some semblance of peace.
Of course that too was a story for another day.
When Nabiki reached the roof of the Furinkan high clock tower, Kuno was waiting for her, as expected. Dense though he may be, he could always be counted on to be punctual.
"Nabiki Tendo," he said, once again full of formality. "It pains me to see that you have returned to old habits of late. For what reason have you summoned me here?"
After the failure of her first attempt, Nabiki had pretty much stopped her work on Kuno. After all, she could only put up with so much...
With that in mind, Nabiki thought about what she was planning and very nearly turned around and left. Could she really go through with this? Shouldn't she save what she was about to so flippantly give up? Save it for someone she could actually... care about?
With a concious effort she banished those childish thoughts. Maybe she wasn't as grown up as she liked to believe after all. She shut the door to the stairs and locked it with the key she had bribed out of the superintendent yesterday. This was all for something a little bit more significant than some concept of purity and virginity. Purity she'd abandoned a long time ago, and virginity was just a physical condition.
"What are you doing?" Kuno demanded, on his guard.
"We don't want to be interupted." Nabiki replied, taking a deep breath. Here goes everything... She threw the key to the door off of the clock tower.
"What are you doing?!" Kuno demanded once again, running to the edge, watching the key, his only real escape rout, plummet to the concrete below.
"Tatewaki," Nabiki said, taking a step towards him. "I love you. I burn for you! I cannot stand this hiding any longer! I offer myself to you, whole and entire, body and soul."
"But...but...but..." Kuno sputtered as Nabiki crept seductively up to him and circled her arms around his midsection. "This...this cannot be allowed!"
"Hush, love," Nabiki said in a deep, throaty voice. "Just relax and let me show you how much I love you..."
"But...Nabiki Tendo..." Kuno's pleas were getting more frantic, but as Nabiki pressed closer to him, slowly forcing both of them to a laying position, she could... ahem... feel that at least part of him was receptive to the idea.
"Relax, love," Nabiki said softly, "I'll be gentle."
"But... but... I despise you!" Kuno's protest sounded strong enough, but Nabiki could tell his willpower was virtually broken. His arms were slowly, possibly involuntarily, slipping around her. His body was pressing even closer against hers. All that was left was the kill.
"Even better," Nabiki purred seductively as she began kissing her way up to his ear. When she got there she briefly nibbled on the lobe. "Little sister says adversarial sex is the best," she whispered.
Unfortunately, her final shot seemed to have the completely wrong affect. Kuno tensed up, threw Nabiki off of him, started screaming as though his mind had finally blown a seal, and ran straight off the roof.
"Drat," Nabiki said as she sat there, watching Kuno fall several stories to the pavement, get up, and continue running as though the devil herself was on his tail. "That could have gone a lot better... I should have known better than to mention Akane. Now I'll have to start all over on him." However, a great part of her felt an overwhelming sense of relief. She suddenly wondered once again if she would have been willing to actually go through with it.
She shook her head as she fished the spare key out of the hem of her dress (she wasn't actually about to trap them both up here, after all). She didn't think she'd be able to try this particular method again. Kuno would almost certainly be staying clear of her for quite some time to come.
"Wait a minute," she suddenly said, "perhaps I've been going about this the wrong way. Who says I actually have to do the deed at all?"
Yes, she told herself as she worked out the details, this time she had him for sure!
*****
"Here they are, gramps," Nabiki said as she displayed her latest wares to the greatest evil in all Japan.
They were snapshots. Certainly not her normal shots though. These were acquired at great personal risk to Nabiki, and rather than featuring just girl-type Ranma or Akane, they featured both.
In very compromising positions. Apparently the couple occasionally liked to experiment.
Happosai's head looked like it was about to explode. Nabiki just hoped she could close the deal before Ranma and Akane found out what she had been doing with her new telephoto lense. She didn't think Kuno's money would do her corpse all that much good (This was also the reason why these shots were not for sale to the general Furinkan high populace).
"These are just samples of course," Nabiki said. "I've got another fifty prime shots, if you are interested."
Happosai's perversion got the better of him. "I'll give you anything you want!" he said. "You want bras? Panties? Assassinations? I'll kill anyone you want dead!"
Nabiki smiled. "I want to learn the cicada shell technique, along with a few other tricks."
"You got it baby!" he said. "Now gimmie!"
Nabiki shook her head. "After you teach me what I want to know."
"Oh, how dare you tease a frail old man like this!" Happosai protested.
*****
The cicada shell technique was surprisingly easy for Nabiki to master. Within two weeks she was ready.
Then it was time for the final assault.
Late one evening Nabiki drifted through the Kuno family estate, there but not really there. Everyone was asleep, which suited her just fine.
It took some doing to find Kuno's room, but she did. She wasn't all that surprised to see the pictures of girl-type Ranma and Akane that decorated the room, but she paid them no heed.
She drifted over to the side of the kendoist's bed and with a thought emerged from the cicada-shell technique, materializing at Kuno's bedside. Slipping a small vial of liquid out of her pocket, she poured the contents into Kuno's mouth.
Uncle Doe's pantented Borainwaashu tonic had proven a real boon to her plan. Originally she had planned to use techniques for post hypnotic suggestion learned from Happosai, however those techniques could prove rather hit or miss. The borainwaashu tonic (which she had gotten from an odd fellow wearing a black fedora and big thick glasses) on the other hand locked the subject in a paralyzed dream state for several hours. Though Nabiki couldn't actually brainwash him that way, the tonic did make it very easy to control the content of his dreams.
And after the fiasco with Uncle Doe's other patented product, Nabiki made certain to check for wierd side affects.
Once she was certain the tonic had time to take affect, she quickly stripped off her cloths in the most agressive maner she could, snapping buttons and ripping cloth, scattering the remnants about the room. Once that was done, she climbed into Kuno's bed.
"Oh, Tatewaki," she said softly into his ear, "why did you bring me here?"
"Nab...Nabiki Tendo," Kuno mumbled in his sleep, "what are you doing here?"
"You brought me here," Nabiki whispered. "You have taken me into your arms."
"No..." Kuno said, "...must not."
"Yes," Nabiki said, "you are tearing at my cloths. Oh Tatewaki, we mussent! Think of the dishonor! Think of my purity!"
"No... cannot... wrong..."
"You've forced me to the bed... no Tatewaki! I know I offered myself to you, but we must not! We cannot! But I cannot stop you. I stop struggling, I cannot escape you, I know that now. I submit."
"No..." Kuno pleaded. "Fight... Nabiki... escape... no control..."
"Oh... oh Tate...Tatewaki!"
Kuno began to cry in his sleep. "What... have... I... done!"
Nabiki just smiled and went to sleep.
*****
Kuno awoke with a start, a nightmare he had been unable to awaken from still clawing at him in the back of his mind.
"Only a dream," he said to himself breathlessly, his body soaked with sweat. He had feared the unspeakable. He had feared that that awful nightmare, that he had forced himself upon Nabiki Tendo, had been the truth. But here he was, safe and alone.
Then he felt someone stir next to him.
"No..." he uttered silently. He slowly turned his head, dreading what he was about to behold.
And there was Nabiki, lying nude next to him, looking at him fearfully.
"No..." he uttered again. "Twas a dream, this cannot be! AWAY VILE PHANTOM!"
Nabiki's eyes widened in shock. "Away, you would send me away after... after you..."
She curled up into a ball, wailing. "I'm ruined!" she cried. "I've brought shame to my family! To be used and discarded... just as my sister has by Saotome... no! The dishonor!"
Kuno recoiled in shock to being compared to his rival Saotome. Had he truly become such a man?
Nabiki suddenly shot out of the bed. Grabbing the Kuno family sword from its place on the wall, she laid the razor sharp steel of the blade against her wrist with a clearly suicidal intent.
"Nabiki, hold!" Kuno pleaded.
"The stain on the family honor must be erased!" Nabiki cried, looking like she was about to do it.
"No, Nabiki wait!" Kuno pleaded. "I know not what demon possessed me last night, but you must not end your life!"
"I have no choice! The Tendo family is proud! When father hears that I have been used and discarded like a common whore he will demand my death!"
Kuno knew there was only one thing he could do to prevent this tragedy. He imediately stepped forward without hesitation.
"I shall not discard you, then," he said solemly. "Nabiki, marry me and the stain on your honor shall be erased."
The sword slipped out of Nabiki's hand to clatter on the floor. "You... you mean it?"
"I mean it," Kuno said. "I have inflicted grevious ill upon you Nabiki, allow me to spend a lifetime in making amends."
Nabiki flung herself into Kuno's arms. "Thank you Tatewaki!" she cried. Fortunately Kuno could not see the look of triumph on Nabiki's face as he held her. She thought back to his words. "I will spend a lifetime in making amends."
Yes you will, Kuno-baby. That and a whole lot more.
FIN.
*****
Author's notes:
1) Wow, twice as long as the other chapters. How did that happen? This chapter began a whole lot less dark-humorish, but I just didn't like where it was going so I re-wrote pretty much all of it. Do I really think Nabiki would go so far as to convince Kuno that he raped her? If she wanted his money bad enough, yes. Nabiki may not be exactly evil per se, but she isn't exactly good either. That being said though, if the whole point of this story wasn't to pair people off, I would have trouble accepting this one.
2) I have no reason to believe that Nabiki was actually running pyramid schemes when she was six or was voted most likely to be gunned down by the mob in junior high, but it wouldn't surprise me.
3) For those of you who have only seen the dubbed version of the anime (I know you are out there, I was one of you until recently), the cicada shell technique that Happosai teaches Nabiki is his disapearing trick.
4) Okay, it didn't really come up again in this chapter, but I feel that I have to adress this, if for no other reason than I enjoy a good argument more than I like to admit:
You're TV needs the color adjusted then. I've examined the anime on four different TVs and five different computers, and it's not got a hint of blue in it anywhere. It's only in the promotional art and fanart that you find that black with a blue sheen for Akane's hair. Even if you go by the promotional art, you can hardly call that blue
Hate to disagree with you, but I've watched the series on several different TVs myself in both DVD and VHS format, I've got a bunch of images captured directly from the show which I have viewed on numerous computers, and I even broke down and put a number of the screenshots through my image editing software to figure out what the computer thinks her hair color is. It's dark blue.
And before you suggest it, there is no indication that I am color blind :) Horribly nearsighted and stuck wearing a pair of big thick glasses, yes. Color blind? Nope.
5) And of course I don't know when I will get another chapter finished. I definitely have to take a few days off from this though. My eyes hurt, my hands keep going numb from all the typing, and I've been thinking about Ranma related stuff so much lately that I very nearly started calling my dad Oyaji.
Pointless tales of pairing off
Standard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
--------------------
CASE 3: Nabiki Tendo and Tatewaki Kuno, OR The Siege of Kuno
The day after the night of a thousand satisfied sighs...
Nabiki Tendo sat in class during lunch, Her lunch uneaten, her head resting on her hand, lost in thought.
The game, she realized, was starting to get old.
Most people no doubt thought of Nabiki as simply a very greedy girl who would sell her fiance (if she had one) for six thousand yen. Well, that wasn't quite true. She'd let him go for five thousand, though she'd also expect another six thousand from him as a severance package.
She was, to say the least, a little bit MORE than very greedy.
The only problem was that things around here were starting to become routine. It was something she realized at the hotel last night, hiding out while Akane and Ranma had the house all to themselves and did god knows what.
As Nabiki sat in the hotel room, trying to figure out how to turn this new event to her advantage, she realized that the whole thing was simply not all that much fun anymore. The relatively small change she made on her dealings had lost its allure. Working a free meal out of someone didn't seem as appealing as it used to. She wanted more. She wanted something more than trading small change for a few racy photos.
Maybe it was because Akane had finally (albeit with the help of a wierd potion) made real progress in her relationship with Ranma, but Nabiki felt that she could be so much more than she was now, could have so much more, and she WANTED it. She wanted money, power, influence. More to the point, she felt she deserved it.
Somewhere, some part of her pointed out that she was only seventeen, she had plenty of time to become a sucess, and there was no reason to rush things. She told it to shut up. Nabiki Tendo isn't necessarily the most patient of people. She was setting up pyramid schemes to deprive classmates of their lunch money when she was six years old. Why should she have to wait any longer for greatness?
She sighed. "Maybe I should just get myself a boyfriend or something," she said to herself, then started laughing at the absurdity of the thought. No; romance, love, and the building of a family might have been enough for some girls, but not Nabiki Tendo. Not for the girl voted "most likely to be gunned down by the mob" in junior high!
Nevertheless, Nabiki knew that she had no choice but to wait. She knew she had long years of hard work ahead of her before she could make her dreams of coporate empire a reality. Unless she were to somehow marry someone rich, someone dense enough to let her take full reign or his assets...
"Nabiki Tendo!" Kuno interupted, "I need to speak to you."
If he had known how opportune his arrival was, Kuno would have run for the hills. In the handful of seconds following his interuption, Nabiki's lightning quick mind had already begun to process Kuno's estimated net worth and what she could do with it. She looked up, giving Kuno a wicked smile that for the moment had him on edge.
"Yes, Kuno-baby?" She said.
Kuno quickly got over his unease at Nabiki's friendly yet strangely predatory smile. "I have heard base rumors from the louts Hiroshi and Daisuke that the cretinous Ranma Saotome has been seen holding the hand of the beauteous Akane Tendo."
"So they made it to school today," Nabiki said, her mind furiously working while she kept her calm facade, "that's a shock."
Kuno slammed a fist down on Nabiki's desk. "What do you mean by this, woman?" he demanded. "What vile ensorcelment has Saotome worked on the fair Akane?"
Nabiki had in the meanwhile worked up a rather viable strategy that... well, made her more than a little nauseous. Actually it made her want to toss her breakfast all over Kuno. It was unthinkable, unspeakable, unprecedented...
But if it failed she risked nothing, or so she hoped. If it succeeded she had what she wanted most of all. Money, power, a chance to go from dealing in highschool bathrooms to corporate boardrooms in less than a year! But could she stomach the price she would have to pay, what she would have to endure, to make her dream a reality? Did she dare... Did she dare to shake the universe to its foundation in an act that was against all principles of reason and sanity?
Did she dare... to become Tatewaki Kuno's WIFE?
Was the prize she sought, the prize of wealth, power, and influence, worth that steep and terrible price?
Yes.
Actually, not only yes, but HELL YES!
So she told him just what was up.
"No sorcery, Kuno-baby," she said. "Though something did happen between them..."
"What happened, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno demanded. "What could have happened that would make the divine Akane Tendo lose herself enough to consent to let that lout grasp her beautiful hand?"
Nabiki dearly wished Kasumi were here, the eldest Tendo daughter had a real flair for breaking this sort of news.
"Well, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said, "the short form is that Akane slept with him."
Many people have theorized that Tatewaki Kuno's mind has something of an automatic safety shutdown which disconnects it when he hears or sees something he doesn't want to believe. This allows him to reinterpet the offending information to better suit his way of thinking without his mind collapsing. Others theorize that Kuno is just that dense. For whatever reason...
"The despicable Ranma Saotome!" he raged, heedless of the crowd of students that had pratically materialized around them as soon as Nabiki spilled the beans, "sharing the same bedding as the virtuous Akane Tendo! The fiend!"
"You seem to be missing it," Nabiki said.
"You told me they slept together," Kuno said. "There is little to miss."
"Yes," Nabiki conceeded, "but they didn't actually sleep or anything."
"Your words make no sense Nabiki Tendo!" Kuno pronounced.
"They make perfect sense to me," one of the students said.
"Okay, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said, "from the top. Last night..."
Kuno nodded, waiting for Nabiki to continue.
"All night..."
Another nod from Kuno.
"Ranma and Akane..."
Another nod.
"Had sex."
The audience gasped in astonishment and began gabbing amongst themselves as to the ramifications of this new development.
Kuno stood as still and silent as a granite monolith.
"They had a lot of hot, sweaty, noisy sex," Nabiki decided to add.
Kuno collapsed.
"I guess he took that pretty well."
Kuno shot back to his feet, his face a mask of rage. "YOU LIE!"
"Now why would I lie about something like this?" Nabiki asked. She decided to push him over the edge. "I think the pig-tailed girl made an appearance too."
That sent the crowd wild. Kuno collapsed again.
He then just as promptly shot back to his feet, his bokken aimed at Nabiki's heart with a murderous intent.
"VILE WOMAN!" he shouted, "know that though you are but a defenseless girl I will strike you down for such slander!"
Nabiki raised her hands nonthreateningly. "Now hold it Kuno," she said. "Everything I've told you is true. I have nothing to gain by lying to you. I just thought you would want to know."
"You swear on your very life?" Kuno demanded.
"On my very life," Nabiki said.
For a moment Nabiki thought that perhaps Kuno didn't believe her, because he only seemed to get angrier. She briefly wondered if she had just managed to get herself killed.
"SAOTOME!" he thundered loud enough to shake the windows. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS UNSPEAKABLE DEED! I TATEWAKI KUNO, THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH, WILL AVENGE THE HONOR OF AKANE TENDO AND THE PIG-TAILED GIRL! PREPARE YOURSELF, WRETCH, FOR YOUR TIME IS..."
"Aren't you jumping to conclusions?" Nabiki interupted.
"What do you mean, woman?" Kuno demanded, a bit annoyed that his big dramatic speech had been interrupted.
"Well," Nabiki said, "I admit I didn't exactly see anything, but from what I could hear it seemed pretty clear that the whole thing was Akane's idea, not Ranma's." Though she didn't expect Kuno to just accept that right away, his eventual acceptance would be important, if not absolutely necessary, if she were to eventually win him herself.
Kuno scoffed. "Impossible."
"Oh, Do tell."
"Akane Tendo like all maidens is pure, noble, and innocent," Kuno said. "She is simply incapable of the base behavior you ascribe to her. Obviously the vile monster Saotome has worked his evil sorcery upon her."
"Gee, Kuno-baby," Nabiki asked. "Am I as pure and noble?"
"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said, "You are not a maiden, but likely a deamon from hell sent to plague me."
"Why Kuno-baby," Nabiki replied, "I'm flattered."
"Enough of your prattle, woman!" Kuno declared. "I'm off!" With that he ran out of the room. The crowd gathered around Nabiki.
"Is it true?" one of them said. "Did Akane and Ranma do it?"
Nabiki smiled. "Now would I lie to you?" she asked, getting up from her seat. "Now if you'll excuse me..."
She definitely didn't want to miss this.
*****
Skipping ahead, or rather back to where we left off...
Ranma and Akane sat just apart, trying really hard to not look like they had been snuggling in each other's arms after a bout of lovemaking. Kuno and Ukyo faced them down, weapons drawn, neither of them looking particularly happy.
"Saotome..." Kuno hissed. "You enemy of women, you despoiler of virtue, today you breath your LAST!"
"Sorry honey," Ukyo said, "it's the principle of the thing."
Then they both attacked. Kuno went after Ranma with a murderous intent, his bokken moving so fast that even Ranma was having trouble keeping track of it. Ranma did his best to avoid the strikes, but he could feel the airpressure alone ripping at him.
Ukyo in the meantime went after Akane just as hard. "You have no right you tramp!" she shouted as she flailed her giant spatula. "Ranma was promised to me before you even met him!" She let loose a volley of smaller spatulas. Akane mostly managed to avoid them, though in the process she lost her footing and fell to the ground. Ukyo loomed over her.
"You understand me you slut?!" Ukyo shouted, raising her spatula for the final blow, "RANMA'S MINE!"
"Akane!" Ranma cried.
Kuno took advantage of Ranma's distraction and landed a solid blow against his back, sending him sprawling to the ground.
Ukyo swung her spatula.
Akane tensed, waiting for the blow.
Ranma screamed Akane's name again, knowing he could never get there in time.
And Kuno parried the blow.
"What are you doing you jackass?!" Ukyo demanded of the kendoist.
"Our fight is with the foul Saotome!" Kuno snapped. "It is he who has done ill by taking the virtue of the fair Akane Tendo!"
"Akane seduced Ranma you idiot!" Ukyo shot back. "I saw it, remember? She was all over him and he was pleading with her to stop!"
Kuno's eyes flashed with anger. "I will not allow you to slander the good and pure Akane Tendo in this way! En Garde!"
While Kuno and Ukyo went at it, Ranma and Akane slipped away.
Shortly thereafter, Ukyo quickly proved herself the more angry person, sending Kuno into unconciousness with a solid blow to the head.
"All right," she said, "now that that's out of the way..." she looked around for Akane and Ranma, only to find that neither of them were anywhere to be seen.
"Crap," she said. "Where did they go?" She looked down at the unconcious kendoist. "This is all your fault!" she declared, her voice begining to crack, her anger quickly sliding into misery. "If it... it hadn't been for you..." she fell to her knees and began sobbing, wondering if she was refering to Kuno, Akane, or herself "you buting in like that..."
She stopped sobbing. With a sad smile she got back to her feet and walked off.
*****
Kuno awoke to find himself lying in a bed in the Nurse's office. With a start he imediately sat up. "SAOTOME!" he raged. "YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME FOREVER!"
"Haven't you had enough, Kuno-baby?" Nabiki asked, sitting by his bedside.
"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno said, "what is your purpose here?"
"Gee Kuno-baby," Nabiki replied. "I was the one who found you and brought you here. You were in sorry shape." And that was true, Nabiki had found Kuno unconcious and actually had dragged him to the nurse's office. Oh the things she did for financial security!
"That fiend Saotome!" Kuno spat, "that corrupter of women! Twisting the fair Ukyo's mind to thoughts of jealousy and turning her against all that it noble! He will pay for this and all his other crimes!"
Here goes, Nabiki thought to herself, steeling herself for what promised to be a truly unpleasant next few moments.
"Oh Tatewaki!" She cried, suddenly very emotional, "why must you always fight that awful Ranma?"
Kuno would have made a big response about honor, duty, and love, but he realized something was very amiss. "Tate...Tatewaki?" he sputtered. Nabiki had never EVER spoken to him in such an... affectionate... manner. "Nabiki Tendo, are you feeling all right?"
Nabiki looked down, tears running down her cheeks. "Don't you know that every time you risk your life fighting that monster I die a little inside?" she said softly.
Kuno imediately got a wary look. "Nabiki Tendo, I care not for your jests," he said.
"Jests," Nabiki repeated, sounding awfully hurt. "Of course... of course you would think that. All this time, all the times I tried to push you away... Of course you would think that of me..." She threw her arms around Kuno and began weeping.
"Nabiki Tendo, unhand me!" Kuno demanded. As much as he believed that most girls wanted to tearfully embrace him, Nabiki just didn't register as one of them. "Cease your madness!"
"Don't you understand?" Nabiki tearfully confessed. "All those times I tried to drive you away, I was only hiding! I... I could never bring myself to admit the truth... I love you Tatewaki! I always have and I always will!"
Something in Kuno's mind reached critical meltdown. It was as though the universe itself had gone all crosseyed and backwards. Nabiki Tendo, the sucubus, the vampiress that fed off of him, leeched him constantly for every paltry yen she could, loved him? No, it could not be! And yet...
"Nabiki Tendo," Kuno asked. "Do you speak the truth?"
Nabiki gazed up into his eyes, her own eyes shining with a love (or a close facsimili) that Kuno had never seen before from ANYONE.
"Yes, Tatewaki," Nabiki said softly. "I swear it on my very life."
Kuno looked to the heavens (or ceiling rather) in anguish. She loved him! Oh curse his magnificence, that even the most bitter of enemies should be swayed to him! Oh cruel fate!
"Nabiki," he said solemly. "That I have been able to turn you away from the dark path you have walked for so long fills me with joy. However, know that I can never return your pure and innocent love. My heart, fair Nabiki, will ever belong to Akane Tendo and the Pig Tailed Girl. I am sorry."
Nabiki's anguished expression quickly changed to something entirely other, but Kuno didn't notice. She got up without saying a word and walked out.
"Alas the poor maiden," Kuno mourned, "to be denied her love so cruelly. Truly this world is a harsh and terrible place!"
*****
"Drat," Nabiki said as soon as she got out the door. "There's room enough in his heart and his tiny little mind for Akane and his pig tailed girl. The least he could do is make a little for me."
She'd really hoped that would have gone better. She'd hope to play into his samurai fantasy mindset, smashing her way into his insane heart like a melodramatic sledgehammer, and she'd made progress. Kuno no longer refered to her by her full name, using a more informal form of adress, but it was far less than she hoped for. She could keep working on him, chipping away his resistance until he finally crumbled before her, but that would take time, and she doubted she could stomach much more of this act. It was because she couldn't stand the idea of a long courtship with Kuno in the first place that she had decided to go with the one massive blast of pure sap.
"At this rate I'll be able to earn my own fortune before I can get his," she complained. "That is if it doesn't drive me batty! I need something else, but what?"
*****
It would be two weeks before she came up with another idea.
Most of the residents of the Tendo Dojo were still staying away, though this time it wasn't Ranma and Akane's activities that caused it, but Shampoo and Mousse, who had the place under virtual siege trying to get Akane to give up Ranma.
But that part is a story for another time. The important thing is that with the house off limits, that meant most of the food came from elsewhere.
In this particular case, Nabiki was just on her way to Ucchans for dinner, still with no idea how to get her hands on Kuno's assets, when she ran into Ryoga.
This in itself was a surprise, but what made it even more interesting was that the martial artist appeared to be in real, pure fear for his life.
"Kee... Keep her away from me!" he pleaded with Nabiki, hiding behind her.
Okay, Nabiki decided, this was certainly a shock to the system. Normally Ryoga feared nothing, except maybe cold water and talking to Akane. Just what could be going on that would give the eternal wanderer the screaming willies?
"WHERE ARE YOU RYOGA HIBIKI!?!?" a bitter, angry, bloodthirsty, and barely recognizable voice demanded as though in answer to Nabiki's unspoken question. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IN WAYS YOU CAN'T BEGIN TO IMAGINE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!"
"So Ryoga," Nabiki asked nonchalantly, "what exactly did you do to Ukyo?"
"I don't know!" Ryoga declared, terrified. "Just keep her away from me!"
"Here piggy piggy piggy!" Ukyo called, apparently coming closer. "I'm feeling like bacon tonight!"
Ryoga tried to cower even closer to Nabiki.
"Hey," Nabiki said, "Nobody gets that close to me without dinner and some flowers."
Ukyo came around the corner, and just from the rage that seemed to radiate off of her, Nabiki was almost (almost) inspired to run away screaming into the night in terror. Instead she just crossed her arms and stepped aside to give the girl a clear shot. Whatever was going on, Nabiki didn't want to be in the line of fire.
"THERE YOU ARE!" Ukyo shouted in victory. "Did you really think you could just knock me up and get away with it Ryoga?" she demanded.
Okay, some euphemisms were lost on Ryoga. "Knock you up?" he questioned.
"YOU GOT ME PREGNANT YOU JACKASS!" Ukyo clarified. "God knows how your guys found the way... but you did it. YOU'VE RUINED ME!" She swung her spatula. Though Ryoga managed to dodge the blow (even though his brain had siezed up after what Ukyo had told him), Ukyo cleaved a fair bit of sidewalk with her attack. If it had connected it would have likely split his skull like a melon.
Not that Nabiki noticed. Her mind was still stuck on the idea that Ryoga had gotten Ukyo pregnant. That certainly wasn't all that expected.
"WHAT IS RANMA GOING TO THINK OF ME NOW?" Ukyo demanded, continuing her attacks. "HOW AM I GOING TO SUPPORT MYSELF AND A KID? HUH RYOGA? HOW?"
Ryoga meanwhile seemed to be lost in anguish, as though he was trying to sort everything out. He continued to evade Ukyo's blows, but his mind was definitely elsewhere.
Suddenly his expression changed, as though he had made a decision, one of them monumental, earth shaking decisions.
"I'VE LOST ANY CHANCE I EVER HAD FOR HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU, RYOGA!" Ukyo screamed, looking to finish the job, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?"
Suddenly Ryoga snatched Ukyo's spatula and swiftly disarmed her, grabbing her wrists.
"Marry me, Ukyo," he said quietly.
Nabiki was stunned, as was Ukyo, but the okonomiyaki chef recovered quickly, savagely kicking Ryoga in the groin.
"I'm trying to kill you, you jackass!" she hissed. "I'm not looking for a husband!"
"I... I know..." Ryoga said through the pain of crushed jewels. "I... I can never be forgiven for what I did to you, but you... you can't take care of our child by yourself."
Ukyo kicked him in the groin again. And again. And again. And again.
"Damn you Ryoga!" she said as the now quite possibly neutered martial artist writhed on the ground in pain. "Damn you and your honor!"
Nabiki in the meanwhile processed what she had just witnessed. Of course, honor! If she could just...
She quickly took on a rather greenish cast when she realized what she was thinking.
"Oh god," she said to herself, wondering if she was taking this thing too far. "Is Kuno's money really worth it?"
In one way it was really a small sacrifice. She'd probably even enjoy it, and a part of her was willing to make ANY sacrifice to get what she wanted. It's... it's no worse than pretending she loved the idiot, right?
But if it didn't work... If she let Kuno do... do THAT to her without getting what she wanted... Could she forgive herself? And even if it did work... if this so called small sacrifice actually got her Kuno and his money, could she ever feel clean again?
*****
It had taken a couple days to get everything set up. The residents of the Tendo dojo had finally been able to return home after Akane's surprising defeat of Shampoo. Though that matter was far from resolved, things had returned to some semblance of peace.
Of course that too was a story for another day.
When Nabiki reached the roof of the Furinkan high clock tower, Kuno was waiting for her, as expected. Dense though he may be, he could always be counted on to be punctual.
"Nabiki Tendo," he said, once again full of formality. "It pains me to see that you have returned to old habits of late. For what reason have you summoned me here?"
After the failure of her first attempt, Nabiki had pretty much stopped her work on Kuno. After all, she could only put up with so much...
With that in mind, Nabiki thought about what she was planning and very nearly turned around and left. Could she really go through with this? Shouldn't she save what she was about to so flippantly give up? Save it for someone she could actually... care about?
With a concious effort she banished those childish thoughts. Maybe she wasn't as grown up as she liked to believe after all. She shut the door to the stairs and locked it with the key she had bribed out of the superintendent yesterday. This was all for something a little bit more significant than some concept of purity and virginity. Purity she'd abandoned a long time ago, and virginity was just a physical condition.
"What are you doing?" Kuno demanded, on his guard.
"We don't want to be interupted." Nabiki replied, taking a deep breath. Here goes everything... She threw the key to the door off of the clock tower.
"What are you doing?!" Kuno demanded once again, running to the edge, watching the key, his only real escape rout, plummet to the concrete below.
"Tatewaki," Nabiki said, taking a step towards him. "I love you. I burn for you! I cannot stand this hiding any longer! I offer myself to you, whole and entire, body and soul."
"But...but...but..." Kuno sputtered as Nabiki crept seductively up to him and circled her arms around his midsection. "This...this cannot be allowed!"
"Hush, love," Nabiki said in a deep, throaty voice. "Just relax and let me show you how much I love you..."
"But...Nabiki Tendo..." Kuno's pleas were getting more frantic, but as Nabiki pressed closer to him, slowly forcing both of them to a laying position, she could... ahem... feel that at least part of him was receptive to the idea.
"Relax, love," Nabiki said softly, "I'll be gentle."
"But... but... I despise you!" Kuno's protest sounded strong enough, but Nabiki could tell his willpower was virtually broken. His arms were slowly, possibly involuntarily, slipping around her. His body was pressing even closer against hers. All that was left was the kill.
"Even better," Nabiki purred seductively as she began kissing her way up to his ear. When she got there she briefly nibbled on the lobe. "Little sister says adversarial sex is the best," she whispered.
Unfortunately, her final shot seemed to have the completely wrong affect. Kuno tensed up, threw Nabiki off of him, started screaming as though his mind had finally blown a seal, and ran straight off the roof.
"Drat," Nabiki said as she sat there, watching Kuno fall several stories to the pavement, get up, and continue running as though the devil herself was on his tail. "That could have gone a lot better... I should have known better than to mention Akane. Now I'll have to start all over on him." However, a great part of her felt an overwhelming sense of relief. She suddenly wondered once again if she would have been willing to actually go through with it.
She shook her head as she fished the spare key out of the hem of her dress (she wasn't actually about to trap them both up here, after all). She didn't think she'd be able to try this particular method again. Kuno would almost certainly be staying clear of her for quite some time to come.
"Wait a minute," she suddenly said, "perhaps I've been going about this the wrong way. Who says I actually have to do the deed at all?"
Yes, she told herself as she worked out the details, this time she had him for sure!
*****
"Here they are, gramps," Nabiki said as she displayed her latest wares to the greatest evil in all Japan.
They were snapshots. Certainly not her normal shots though. These were acquired at great personal risk to Nabiki, and rather than featuring just girl-type Ranma or Akane, they featured both.
In very compromising positions. Apparently the couple occasionally liked to experiment.
Happosai's head looked like it was about to explode. Nabiki just hoped she could close the deal before Ranma and Akane found out what she had been doing with her new telephoto lense. She didn't think Kuno's money would do her corpse all that much good (This was also the reason why these shots were not for sale to the general Furinkan high populace).
"These are just samples of course," Nabiki said. "I've got another fifty prime shots, if you are interested."
Happosai's perversion got the better of him. "I'll give you anything you want!" he said. "You want bras? Panties? Assassinations? I'll kill anyone you want dead!"
Nabiki smiled. "I want to learn the cicada shell technique, along with a few other tricks."
"You got it baby!" he said. "Now gimmie!"
Nabiki shook her head. "After you teach me what I want to know."
"Oh, how dare you tease a frail old man like this!" Happosai protested.
*****
The cicada shell technique was surprisingly easy for Nabiki to master. Within two weeks she was ready.
Then it was time for the final assault.
Late one evening Nabiki drifted through the Kuno family estate, there but not really there. Everyone was asleep, which suited her just fine.
It took some doing to find Kuno's room, but she did. She wasn't all that surprised to see the pictures of girl-type Ranma and Akane that decorated the room, but she paid them no heed.
She drifted over to the side of the kendoist's bed and with a thought emerged from the cicada-shell technique, materializing at Kuno's bedside. Slipping a small vial of liquid out of her pocket, she poured the contents into Kuno's mouth.
Uncle Doe's pantented Borainwaashu tonic had proven a real boon to her plan. Originally she had planned to use techniques for post hypnotic suggestion learned from Happosai, however those techniques could prove rather hit or miss. The borainwaashu tonic (which she had gotten from an odd fellow wearing a black fedora and big thick glasses) on the other hand locked the subject in a paralyzed dream state for several hours. Though Nabiki couldn't actually brainwash him that way, the tonic did make it very easy to control the content of his dreams.
And after the fiasco with Uncle Doe's other patented product, Nabiki made certain to check for wierd side affects.
Once she was certain the tonic had time to take affect, she quickly stripped off her cloths in the most agressive maner she could, snapping buttons and ripping cloth, scattering the remnants about the room. Once that was done, she climbed into Kuno's bed.
"Oh, Tatewaki," she said softly into his ear, "why did you bring me here?"
"Nab...Nabiki Tendo," Kuno mumbled in his sleep, "what are you doing here?"
"You brought me here," Nabiki whispered. "You have taken me into your arms."
"No..." Kuno said, "...must not."
"Yes," Nabiki said, "you are tearing at my cloths. Oh Tatewaki, we mussent! Think of the dishonor! Think of my purity!"
"No... cannot... wrong..."
"You've forced me to the bed... no Tatewaki! I know I offered myself to you, but we must not! We cannot! But I cannot stop you. I stop struggling, I cannot escape you, I know that now. I submit."
"No..." Kuno pleaded. "Fight... Nabiki... escape... no control..."
"Oh... oh Tate...Tatewaki!"
Kuno began to cry in his sleep. "What... have... I... done!"
Nabiki just smiled and went to sleep.
*****
Kuno awoke with a start, a nightmare he had been unable to awaken from still clawing at him in the back of his mind.
"Only a dream," he said to himself breathlessly, his body soaked with sweat. He had feared the unspeakable. He had feared that that awful nightmare, that he had forced himself upon Nabiki Tendo, had been the truth. But here he was, safe and alone.
Then he felt someone stir next to him.
"No..." he uttered silently. He slowly turned his head, dreading what he was about to behold.
And there was Nabiki, lying nude next to him, looking at him fearfully.
"No..." he uttered again. "Twas a dream, this cannot be! AWAY VILE PHANTOM!"
Nabiki's eyes widened in shock. "Away, you would send me away after... after you..."
She curled up into a ball, wailing. "I'm ruined!" she cried. "I've brought shame to my family! To be used and discarded... just as my sister has by Saotome... no! The dishonor!"
Kuno recoiled in shock to being compared to his rival Saotome. Had he truly become such a man?
Nabiki suddenly shot out of the bed. Grabbing the Kuno family sword from its place on the wall, she laid the razor sharp steel of the blade against her wrist with a clearly suicidal intent.
"Nabiki, hold!" Kuno pleaded.
"The stain on the family honor must be erased!" Nabiki cried, looking like she was about to do it.
"No, Nabiki wait!" Kuno pleaded. "I know not what demon possessed me last night, but you must not end your life!"
"I have no choice! The Tendo family is proud! When father hears that I have been used and discarded like a common whore he will demand my death!"
Kuno knew there was only one thing he could do to prevent this tragedy. He imediately stepped forward without hesitation.
"I shall not discard you, then," he said solemly. "Nabiki, marry me and the stain on your honor shall be erased."
The sword slipped out of Nabiki's hand to clatter on the floor. "You... you mean it?"
"I mean it," Kuno said. "I have inflicted grevious ill upon you Nabiki, allow me to spend a lifetime in making amends."
Nabiki flung herself into Kuno's arms. "Thank you Tatewaki!" she cried. Fortunately Kuno could not see the look of triumph on Nabiki's face as he held her. She thought back to his words. "I will spend a lifetime in making amends."
Yes you will, Kuno-baby. That and a whole lot more.
FIN.
*****
Author's notes:
1) Wow, twice as long as the other chapters. How did that happen? This chapter began a whole lot less dark-humorish, but I just didn't like where it was going so I re-wrote pretty much all of it. Do I really think Nabiki would go so far as to convince Kuno that he raped her? If she wanted his money bad enough, yes. Nabiki may not be exactly evil per se, but she isn't exactly good either. That being said though, if the whole point of this story wasn't to pair people off, I would have trouble accepting this one.
2) I have no reason to believe that Nabiki was actually running pyramid schemes when she was six or was voted most likely to be gunned down by the mob in junior high, but it wouldn't surprise me.
3) For those of you who have only seen the dubbed version of the anime (I know you are out there, I was one of you until recently), the cicada shell technique that Happosai teaches Nabiki is his disapearing trick.
4) Okay, it didn't really come up again in this chapter, but I feel that I have to adress this, if for no other reason than I enjoy a good argument more than I like to admit:
You're TV needs the color adjusted then. I've examined the anime on four different TVs and five different computers, and it's not got a hint of blue in it anywhere. It's only in the promotional art and fanart that you find that black with a blue sheen for Akane's hair. Even if you go by the promotional art, you can hardly call that blue
Hate to disagree with you, but I've watched the series on several different TVs myself in both DVD and VHS format, I've got a bunch of images captured directly from the show which I have viewed on numerous computers, and I even broke down and put a number of the screenshots through my image editing software to figure out what the computer thinks her hair color is. It's dark blue.
And before you suggest it, there is no indication that I am color blind :) Horribly nearsighted and stuck wearing a pair of big thick glasses, yes. Color blind? Nope.
5) And of course I don't know when I will get another chapter finished. I definitely have to take a few days off from this though. My eyes hurt, my hands keep going numb from all the typing, and I've been thinking about Ranma related stuff so much lately that I very nearly started calling my dad Oyaji.