Couple's Therapy
Pointless tales of pairing off
Standard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, there are a few things I should apologize for.
First, this is not the continuation of the Kasumi/Tofu story. Now that I finally managed to finish the Shampoo/Mousse chapter, I decided to just release it now.
Second, my original idea for getting the couple "together" have been junked on account of I couldn't stomach it. So to those who I promised something "not pretty", sorry.
Third, this chapter leans heavily towards the heavy handed melodramatic. As a result it's not particularly funny. I promise I'll make it up to you.
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CASE 6: Shampoo and Mousse, OR Gazing at Oblivion
The day after the night Ranma cried "uncle"...
Shampoo felt strangely drained when she returned to the Cat Cafe, wondering why she didn't strike while she could.
The both of them had been right there, exhausted, barely able to move. All Shampoo had needed to do was get some hot water (and there was certainly plenty of that to be had around the Tendo home) and she could have taken care of the problem quickly and easily.
But she didn't. She couldn't bring herself to do it. Why!?
She'd heard that brazen hussy Akane saying all those awful things, badgering Ranma to sleep with her again. The SLUT! Trying to turn the whole thing into some kind of romantic evening of love when she was clearly just little more than an animal in heat. Shampoo had wanted her dead so badly she could taste it.
And then she heard Ranma... agreeing to it.
Something had just... gone numb inside Shampoo. Ranma was her husband! How... how could he... After that she just wanted to get away.
They were probably at it right now, Shampoo decided. He probably held that witch in his arms right now, drawing the animal screams she seemed to favor from her as he...
No, Shampoo thought as she forced the image away. She would not, could not think about this.
A strong, proud warrior does not cry...
"Shampoo?" she heard a voice say, quite possibly the last voice she would want to hear right now.
"Go away Mousse," she said in her native Chinese. Up until now she had made a habit of speaking Japanese constantly, even to fellow Chinese, just for the practice. However, now the language just seemed... wrong to her. "Leave me alone."
"Shampoo," Mousse said, likewise in Chinese, his voice somehow soothing and yet not, "I know you are hurting. But you have to learn to accept it. Ranma loves Akane. He's never going to be interested in you."
"I told you to leave me alone, Mousse!" Shampoo snapped.
"Shampoo," Mousse pleaded, "why not put your heart into something pure and enduring..."
Shampoo tossed him through the door.
"Now is that any way to treat the employees?" Cologne asked in Japanese as she hopped into the room. "Shampoo you might want to consider what Mousse has to offer. You and he could have some very strong children."
Shampoo scowled. "Lots of strong children who can't see their hands in front of their faces," she said, sticking to Chinese. "Mousse is like a stupid little brother who doesn't know when to go home. I don't want a stupid little brother for a husband, I want Ranma." Something in her snapped. "Why didn't you stop them on the first night!" she demanded of the elder.
"I'm way too old for that sort of horsing around," Cologne replied, feeling a little bit nervous about how Shampoo would react to her next statement, "especially after all the effort I put into setting the whole thing up."
Shampoo's jaw dropped in shock. "YOU WHAT?!" she cried.
"I set everything up," Cologne repeated. "I left the Kontoraibansu powder out for you to find it. I knew that you would jump at the chance to try a new love potion on Ranma."
"But WHY?!?" Shampoo demanded. "How could you?"
"Because they're just so cute together," Cologne offered mischievously.
"GREAT GRANDMOTHER!"
"I came up with the idea shortly after your recent adventure at Jusendo," Cologne said. "Akane very nearly gave her life to protect Ranma during the fight with Saffron. Afterwards she was willing to marry him, not just because of the nannichuan, but because she WANTED to. Had it not been for your and Ukyo's intervention, they likely would have been wed that day. With that in mind it was clear to me that all the blackmail and love potions and magical devices in the world weren't going to win you Ranma, not against that sort of competition."
"But," Shampoo said softly, still trying to comprehend this whole thing. "How could you know Akane would have been exposed to it?"
"Shampoo," Cologne said. "You need to realize how things work in our world. When a man says you had better not slip on a banana peel, pull down a shroud, and look into the mirror, it is GOING TO HAPPEN. When a girl with an intense love for pigs and a desire to marry someone who can beat her pet drops out of the heavens, it is OBVIOUS who she will eventually meet. When there is a love potion that unlocks the most primal desires of violent blue haired Japanese girls, Akane's exposure to it is practically pre-ordained."
"So you just decided to push them together," Shampoo snarled, "is that it? You decided to just give up?"
"No, I didn't. I don't expect you to understand, Shampoo," Cologne said, "but this is the only way. You have to trust me."
"You lied to me," Shampoo said. "Used me for some kind of sick game, and now you ask me to trust you? Do our laws even matter to you?! I thought you wanted me to marry Ranma!"
"What I want are strong heirs to continue our bloodlines," Cologne said. "Ranma would have proven a great boon to the tribe, but if the boy's heart is truly set on Akane, then there is NOTHING you can do about it. You may have to learn to accept that."
"I refuse to!" Shampoo snapped. "By tribal law I CANNOT accept it! I can never forgive you for this, great-grandmother. You... you've..."
She stormed out.
"Is it true, old woman?" another voice demanded. Cologne turned to see Mousse talking to a jar of pickles. "You would really let me marry Shampoo?"
"Put your glasses on you idiot," Cologne said. Mousse complied. "If Shampoo agrees to the match, then I have no problem with it."
Mousse embraced Cologne happily. "Oh thank you! Thank you! I promise I will take good..."
Cologne clocked Mousse on the head. "Get your hands off of me."
Mousse sheepishly put his tribal elder down.
"As for Shampoo," Cologne added, "don't start jumping to conclusions. I haven't given up on her winning my future son-in-law just yet. If anything, now the game has just gotten more interesting."
"But..." Mousse sputtered, "I... I don't understand. You... you brought Ranma and Akane together. You let Shampoo find that Uncle Doe potion so that Akane would be exposed to it. You were trying to get them together, weren't you?"
"Why would I try to do something stupid like that?" Cologne said. "Our laws demand that Ranma marry Shampoo. You were at Jusendo, Mousse. You saw what went on between Ranma and Akane there. Do you really think Shampoo can compete against that?"
"You don't make any sense you old mummy!" Mousse declared. "How is getting Ranma and Akane together going to change that?"
Cologne shook her head. She knew he wouldn't understand either. Both he and Shampoo were far too young. They still had a lot to learn.
It was one final role of the dice, a final gamble on the personality of Akane Tendo and the nature of teenage romances. If it worked, then Shampoo would have a chance with Ranma. If it didn't... well, at least the whole mess would finally be settled.
And there were times nowadays where that was just fine with Cologne.
"I'm getting too old for this nonsense."
*****
"How could she?" Shampoo asked herself as she walked Nerima's night time streets.
It had been the ultimate betrayal. Her great grandmother had played her for a fool and taken the only man that ever meant a damn to her away, all because the old hag had decided there was no chance anymore. How could she?
But this changed nothing, she realized. It only meant that she would be fighting for Ranma on her own, without her great grandmother's help.
"Are you all right, Shampoo?" she heard a distinctly unwanted voice ask. What was he doing, following her around?
"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone you idiot duck?" she said.
"Shampoo," Mousse said, "you've been crying..."
Shampoo's eyes widened. She reached a finger up to just below her eyes, discovering tears still there. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying.
"It's nothing," she said.
"Shampoo," Mousse said softly, "I... I know it's hard, but..."
"And what do you know about anything, idiot!" Shampoo snapped.
Mousse got a sudden dark look on his face. "I think I know a little bit about unrequited love," he shot back bitterly.
"I don't want to hear it," Shampoo said, turning away from him. "This has nothing to do with you, just stay out of my way."
"Shampoo," Mousse pleaded, "you have to understand..."
"NO!" Shampoo shouted. "You have to understand! You mean nothing to me! You never will! You are beneath me!"
For a moment a look of absolute hurt flashed through Mousse's eyes. Then, something changed. His eyes got a look Shampoo had never seen before.
Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe after years of obsession for a girl he would never had, years of being seen as weak and worthless, it was foregone conclusion. In an instant he felt a clarity, an understanding, that he had never felt before. He looked upon Shampoo, and he understood everything, the true nature of their relationship, how she really felt about him, everything.
In other words, he snapped.
"Then I guess that's one thing we have in common," he said, his voice low and menacing, his face wearing a cruel smirk. "I'm beneath you and you're beneath Ranma. Except technically it's Akane who's actually beneath him right now, isn't it?"
"BASTARD!" Shampoo screamed, lunging at him. She went after him with everything she had, holding nothing back. She wanted him to hurt, on some level she might have wanted him dead.
"So is this what you wanted all along Shampoo?!" Mousse demanded as he fended off her blows. "Is that what I've been doing wrong all this time? You don't want a man to love you, you want one to conquer you!" He went on the attack. "You want someone who will MAKE you his!"
How did he get this good? Shampoo was holding nothing back and she was barely keeping up with Mousse. Could it be that all that time fighting against Ranma had really made him this strong?
"So you found the boy you wanted," Mousse continued to rant as he kept up his attacks. "You found a boy who could conquer you, but poor, poor Shampoo, he doesn't want you. All your tricks and all your schemes have gotten you nowhere. He'd rather screw a weak Japanese girl than have anything to do with you. So where does that leave you!"
Mousse's taunts lit the fire of Shampoo's anger, and she soon found levels of ability she didn't know she had as she finally began to regain control of the fight. "Who are you to criticize me!" she shouted. "You've been mooning over me ever since we were children! You're pathetic!"
"And that's why you hate me!" Mousse shot back. "That's why you're trying to kill me now! I'm a mirror to your soul! I've been hopelessly, idiotically in love with you for practically all my life, and it doesn't mean anything to you! Now you want Ranma and it's exactly the same thing! You look into my eyes and you see yourself and it sickens you! Pathetic, am I? Well at least I'm willing to admit it!"
"NO!" Shampoo shouted, pinning Mousse to a wall. "I AM NOT LIKE YOU!"
Then she looked into his eyes...
And kissed him.
*****
Some time later, Shampoo ran.
What had she done? What had she been thinking?
No, she told herself. It didn't happen. It NEVER happened. Not with Mousse, not ever.
She didn't consciously know where she was going right now, she was just running.
"It... it wasn't me," she told herself, stopping, realizing where her feet had taken her.
The Tendo Dojo.
"No," she said. "It wasn't me. It wasn't real."
She began walking to the gate, pushing as much determination as she could into her stride.
"This is real."
*****
When Shampoo came crashing into the Tendo home, she found Ranma and Akane sitting together at the table apparently sharing a nice intimate dinner together. Ranma had a dazed, confused look on his face.
Shampoo didn't want to think about what caused that. "Ranma," she said, "you come with Shampoo right now!"
Ranma seemed to only barely recognize her presence, still caught up wherever his mind was.
"Ranma's not going anywhere with you!" Akane declared angrily.
"No ask stupid pervert girl's opinion," Shampoo snapped back, dearly wishing she spoke Japanese better. She seriously doubted her bad grammar got the depths of contempt she felt for Akane across. "Is all your fault Ranma unfaithful. Shampoo get around killing you later. Right now Ranma come."
"Ranma doesn't belong to you!" Akane protested. "He doesn't have to do what you tell him." When Ranma didn't immediately speak up in agreement, she cast an angry glance his way. "Right Ranma?" Her tone was pretty clear that he had better agree with her, or there would be trouble.
"Oh... umm..." Ranma said, finally shaking out of his daze, apparently just now noticing what was going on. "What's up Shampoo?"
"Ranma," Shampoo said, "Shampoo forgive you for giving in to pervert girl if you come with her right now."
"Give... give... giving in?" Ranma sputtered, turning a bright shade of red. "I... I don't know what... what you're talking about..."
Akane smacked him. "Jerk," she said. "She was there, remember? She probably heard the whole thing." She turned her attention back to Shampoo. "And who are you calling a pervert girl!?"
"Shampoo call it as she see it," Shampoo replied. "Shampoo always figured you for screamer, happy to be proven right."
Now Akane turned bright red. "That... that was... that was all your fault!" she protested. "All because of those stupid cookies of yours! I'd have to be drugged to let him touch me!"
"Oh yeah!?" Ranma shot back, "Well who'd ever want to touch an uncute tomboy like you!" Some things were apparently instinctual.
Akane shot a death glare at Ranma. "Is that so? You didn't seem to mind all that much in the bath an hour ago!"
Ranma scoffed, "maybe I was just taking pity on ya!" he suggested venomously.
"YOU JERK!" Akane shouted, malleting Ranma into the floor with a mighty WHAM.
"Excuse, please," Shampoo said. "Shampoo still here."
Akane turned her death gaze to Shampoo.
Shampoo was undaunted. "If you no like Ranma," she said. "Then why you keep him? Give to Shampoo and he never be around to make you angry."
Shampoo was surprised that her suggestion didn't trigger another angry outburst. "Ranma is not mine to give," Akane said softly, almost resigned.
"If he no yours," Shampoo said, sensing her prey's weakness, "then you no mind Shampoo take..."
Again Akane caught Shampoo by surprise. "HE'S NOT YOURS EITHER!" she thundered. The windows rattled, the bowls on the table cracked. Whether it was the sound or the shear force of Akane's anger, one couldn't say.
And for perhaps the first time in a long time, Shampoo felt real fear.
But only for a moment. "This no over," she said. "Shampoo challenge you!"
Once again, Akane's anger seemed to dissipate. "I won't fight you over Ranma," she said softly.
"Shampoo no challenge for Ranma," Shampoo replied. "Shampoo want punish stupid pervert girl for interfering. Get Ranma after kill you."
And once again Akane's anger seemed to bounce back. "All right Shampoo," she said menacingly. "I'll fight you. It's time we settled this once and for all."
"Two... two weeks," Ranma mumbled from the floor.
"What?" both girls said in surprise.
"Wait two weeks before the fight," he said as he sat back up, something different in his voice just below the surface. "Akane isn't ready yet."
"What is that supposed to mean!" Akane demanded.
"Two weeks or two years," Shampoo said, trying to push some confidence into her voice. There was something underlying in Ranma's tone, almost as though he was warning Shampoo to back down. "Make no difference. Pervert girl good as dead."
"Then you have nothing to worry about," Ranma said.
And there it was again. There was something... cold in his voice. Just below the surface. Was it because Shampoo promised to kill Akane? Did Ranma really care so much for her?
"Okay," Shampoo said. "For airen I give pervert girl two more weeks to live." She then bounded out of the house.
*****
A couple days passed.
"Why are you here, Mousse?" Shampoo demanded quietly as she waited in ambush outside the Tendo Dojo. The duel with Akane was still a ways away, but she certainly wasn't going to let her opponent get comfortable.
But why did that idiot have to be here too? Shampoo had been doing her best not to think about their brief encounter, chalking the whole... erm... affair... to depression and stress.
"You know why I'm here," Mousse said. "Things are different now, Shampoo."
Shampoo definitely didn't like this new Mousse. He'd changed, become almost predatory. What was worse, Shampoo's moment of weakness had given him an opening (so to speak) and like any good warrior, he was using it to full advantage.
"No, they aren't," Shampoo said. "What happened before was nothing. It meant nothing. You were just convenient."
"So I'm just convenient, am I?" Mousse said. "I can live with that."
"Have you no self respect?!" Shampoo demanded.
"I gave that up when I realized I loved you," Mousse said.
"I hate you," Shampoo said. "I want nothing to do with you. I'm doing this to win Ranma."
"Who cares?" Mousse said. "No matter what happens, I'll be the one who wins in the end. I've got your number now, Shampoo. If Akane beats you, then you'll come running back to me. I'll always be there, always the convenient sop for your battered iceball of a heart. On the other hand, if you kill Akane, then Ranma will kill you. That means I'll finally be free of you. Your body or my freedom, it makes no difference to me which one I get in the end."
Okay, there were a whole lot of reasons for Shampoo to be uncomfortable with Mousse's statement. What had once been an almost cute case of puppy dog love had seemed to blossom into something far darker, far more menacing.
And he might just be... No. Shampoo refused to follow that line of thought to its conclusion. "What happened will never happen again," she said, as much to reassure herself as to deny Mousse's claim.
"You can say that all you want," Mousse said, "but I know better. I was right from the beginning. As long as you look at me and see yourself, then your pretty little ass belongs to me."
Shampoo's hand shot out almost of its own accord and wrapped itself around Mousse's neck. "Not if I kill you here," she hissed.
"Go ahead," Mousse said, an evil smile on his face. "Kill me. Snap my neck. I'll be free of you then, but what about you? For the rest of your life you'll know that you took my life because you couldn't hack it, because you couldn't admit you were as pathetic as I am."
Shampoo's hand dropped away from Mousse's neck. "Go away," she almost pleaded.
"No," Mousse said. He nodded to the Tendo house. "They should have left for school already, but they haven't. You know why. I can see it in your eyes. You know what they're doing."
"SHUT UP!" Shampoo demanded.
"Screwing like a pair of young lovers should," Mousse said.
Shampoo looked away, not wanting to see Mousse or the Tendo household.
"Why not rush in there and stop them?" Mousse asked. "You can't face them. You couldn't bear to see it. To see him holding her, to hear her enjoy his body."
Shampoo swung wildly at Mousse, only to have her wrist caught by him and spun around.
She found herself face to face with him, separated by less than a few inches.
"We're a couple of sick and twisted individuals, Shampoo," he continued. "Both hopelessly in love with someone we know we will never have. Neither willing to give up, to get on with our lives. In the end it will kill us both, but when you have nothing at all, oblivion doesn't seem that bad, does it?"
Each of them only vaguely registered that their faces were slowly moving closer and closer to each other.
"This won't happen," Shampoo said quietly. "I won't let you do this..."
"Do you think I'm in control here?" Mousse asked. "It stops when you want it to stop. I'm just convenient, remember?"
They kissed, fiercely, passionately. It was a kiss that was as full of hate and depression as desire.
"That's what makes this work," Mousse said as Shampoo began working on removing his robes. "I just don't care anymore. Soon, you won't either."
*****
More time passed, and after a dozen skirmishes, and a dozen illicit encounters that left Shampoo feeling more and more disgusted with herself, more and more dead inside, the day for the duel finally arrived.
"It ends today, Mousse," She told him as the audience gathered for the battle. The fight was being held on a field outside of Furinkan High. "After today I never want to see you again."
"How very confident of you," Mousse said. "You seem to have forgotten who's really on top here. I serve my lady's favor, nothing more."
"It stops today!" Shampoo repeated.
"If you say so," Mousse said with a smirk as he walked off.
Shampoo ignored Mousse's remark and turned to face her opponent. Akane stood ready.
Yes, she thought, today it ends. Today she would kill Akane, and she knew exactly what that meant. She had no doubt in her mind that when she stole Akane's last breath, Ranma would not hesitate. He would kill her in retaliation.
And she didn't care. She was already dead. Ranma would never want her, she knew that now. Even if he did, she had already betrayed him. Betrayed him because she was too weak to handle the truth, the truth that he would never want her...
Strange, she thought as she slipped into a fighting stance, waiting for the fight to start, she should feel angry with Akane, but she didn't feel much of anything...
*****
"How can she expect to fight like that?" Cologne asked herself from the sidelines. "I should have tried to explain the whole kontoraibansu thing to her better. Damn my convoluted scheming!"
"She ain't even putting out a battle aura," Ranma said, standing next to Cologne. "It's like her heart ain't in the fight." What Cologne had just said finally registered. "What about the kontoraibansu thing?"
"Oh... well..." Cologne sputtered. "Nothing important. Look, the fight is starting."
*****
Mousse watched as Shampoo was immediately forced on the defensive. Akane had definitely gotten faster, more graceful, in the two weeks she had had to train, but this wasn't right. She still shouldn't be able to fight Shampoo so effectively.
Shampoo's heart wasn't in it, he realized. She was just going through the motions.
"Who cares," he told himself. "Let the bitch suffer."
He watched her for a while longer. "I hope she'll be okay..."
*****
"Kuroi Ikari!" Akane cried as a blast of black ki energy shot from her palms to blast Shampoo to the ground.
"Black anger?" Cologne repeated, stunned. "You taught her a ki blast based on her anger?"
Ranma nodded proudly. "The black matches her hair," he said.
Ki blasts could be frighteningly easy to develop. All they really needed was a strong enough emotion to draw from and some awareness of a person's inner energy.
"Are you insane!?" Cologne demanded.
"Huh?" Ranma asked, confused.
"You of all people should know better than to teach her to destroy things with the force of her anger!"
Ranma opened his mouth to respond, then what Cologne was telling him registered. He got noticeably paler. "Uh oh..."
"Whoever wins this fight," Cologne said. "You had better learn to be extra nice to that girl from now on."
*****
Shampoo dragged herself back to her feet. Her chest was sore as hell from where the blast had hit her, but aside from that, she was still more than able to fight. Akane's blast apparently hadn't packed much punch.
She looked over to her opponent, and was surprised to see a look of concern on Akane's face.
"Are you okay, Shampoo?" Akane asked. "You seem..."
Pity, from this girl? This was truly the low point of Shampoo's life right here.
But she wasn't beat yet. She still had one more thing to try.
*****
"Strange," Cologne said. that blast didn't seem to have much affect."
"Akane knows!" Ranma suddenly cried. "She knows Shampoo's heart isn't in this fight! She can't keep her anger up to form a powerful enough attack!"
*****
Shampoo shook her head. It was all or nothing now. "Shampoo just thinking how pervert girl spoil Airen," she said. "Shampoo wanted to be first time. Oh well. Still ride him like bronco after kill you."
In an instant, all of Akane's concern vaporized, and she charged, a glowing blue blur of rage.
Taking a deep breath, Shampoo got ready for a very intricate dance.
*****
"This fight is over," Ranma said as he watched Shampoo ward off Akane's hail of blows, falling back into a very familiar pattern.
"Where did she learn that technique?" Cologne wanted to know as Shampoo continued to lure Akane into a spiral.
"You mean you didn't teach it to her?" Ranma asked, surprised. He had been certain that Cologne would have taught Shampoo the technique for this fight. It seemed to be tailor-made for fighting Akane.
"No I didn't," Cologne said. "She must have learned this technique on her own. It looks like she has this fight won after all..."
"Don't count on it yet, old ghoul," Ranma said, though there was a clear sound of worry in his voice.
The two combatants reached the center of the spiral, and Cologne was surprised to see Akane thrust her fist to the ground as Shampoo thrust hers to the sky.
"Hiryu..." Shampoo cried.
"Karyu..." Akane cried.
"SHOTEN HA!" they both cried in unison.
A cyclone ripped into existence, a massive cyclone of tearing winds and black, rage charged ki energy.
"It worked!" Ranma declared.
"What the hell..." Cologne uttered. "How did she..."
Both combatants were flung from the cyclone, landing at opposite ends of the field with something of a less than conscious thump.
"Of course!" Cologne said as Ranma ran off to check on Akane. "The one who uses the Hiryu Shoten Ha is normally safe because they are in the eye of the cyclone when it manifests. By thrusting her heat charged fist down as Shampoo thrust upward, Akane pulled the eye to the middle of them! That way they were both subjected to the full force of the cyclone!"
She looked over to Shampoo, who was being checked over by Mousse. Her great- granddaughter definitely seemed to have gotten the worst of it. "Akane used the Kuroi Ikari to dump ki energy into the cyclone. It couldn't hurt her, but it would have been like a firestorm to Shampoo. I should have known that if anyone could teach Akane a counter to the Hiryu Shoten Ha, it would be my future son-in-law."
*****
"Can you stand up, Shampoo?" Mousse asked as he stooped over her. Across the field, Akane was already dragging herself back up to her feet.
Shampoo just lay there, staring at the sky. Wisps of smoke curled up from her slightly scorched body.
"Akane's alive," she said.
"Yes," Mousse said. "You lost."
"And you've won," Shampoo said.
Mousse opened his mouth to speak, but the pure emptiness, the pure resignation in Shampoo's voice stopped him.
"It's what you wanted, wasn't it?" Shampoo asked. "You would be happy with my death, after all, and in a way you got your wish. I really am just like you now. I just don't care anymore. All I feel is an emptiness. Nothing means anything anymore."
Still Mousse said nothing.
"You were right," Shampoo said, "oblivion really doesn't seem so bad."
*****
Two weeks passed.
Cologne thought about Shampoo as she stirred a pot of ramen back at the Cat Cafe. She had never imagined that her great-granddaughter would take this whole thing so hard, or that she would give up.
But she had. Shampoo seemed to have given up on everything. She did little more than stay in bed and stare at the ceiling, only eating when Cologne ordered her to.
Cologne couldn't help but feel responsible. After the duel, she had intended to explain the reasons behind her actions, the last gamble she had made, but when she had heard that Ranma and Akane had consented to the wedding, a wedding that was to take place today, she just couldn't bring herself to do it.
It seemed that the gamble had failed.
Shampoo wandered into the kitchen, her expression empty, dead as she got a glass of water.
Cologne was sure that eventually Shampoo would recover from this, but the sight still clawed at her.
In the main room, Mousse could be heard welcoming a new customer.
Then the Cat Cafe blew up.
*****
Shampoo regained consciousness as she was roughly dragged to her feet by her collar.
"GIVE HIM BACK!" a voice somewhere between absolute anguish and absolute rage demanded.
It took her a moment to recognize the face of the person holding her, partially obscured as it was by her wedding veil.
"Ranma isn't yours!" Akane cried. "You have no right! He's... he's marrying me..."
She began to sob, dropping Shampoo and collapsing into a heap among the rubble of the cafe.
"What is the meaning of this?" Cologne demanded as she dug herself out of the rubble.
Shampoo caught sight of a note that had fallen out of Akane's grasp. She picked it up, recognizing Ranma's scrawl.
Her heart caught in her throat as she read the brief message. It said simply, "I'm sorry."
"Ranma left," she said quietly.
Cologne leaned over Shampoo's shoulder to read the note. Her eyes widened. "Well I'll be," she said. "Maybe the gamble paid off after all. Shampoo, this is your chance. You'll never have a better opportunity than now."
Shampoo thought about what Cologne said. She was right. Ranma had left Akane. Shampoo would never have an opportunity like this again. Somewhere inside her, a little bit of the old fire began to burn again.
She looked at Akane, who sat there crying with abandon. It was her loss, right? If Akane couldn't hold onto Ranma, then Shampoo shouldn't feel bad about taking him for herself.
It was that simple. Wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
*****
"What are you going to do?" Mousse asked as they walked back from the Tendo house. They had taken Akane home, saying nothing about her destroying the Cat Cafe when they gave the weeping girl over to the care of her sister Kasumi.
"I don't know," Shampoo said.
"Wanna fuck?"
Shampoo stopped, surprised at Mousse's words. Since the duel with Akane, Mousse had been quiet on the subject of their occasional liaisons. Shampoo had almost started to believe that that sad phase of her life was over.
"You can't fool me, Shampoo," Mousse said. "You're going after him."
"I haven't decided that yet," Shampoo protested.
"Yes you have, I can tell. You've got the fire in your eyes again." Mousse chuckled cruelly. "Do you really think this changes anything, that it was only Akane keeping Ranma out of your reach?"
Shampoo said nothing in response.
"It's so easy to get lost in the self deception all over again, isn't it?" Mousse said. "So easy to pretend that this time things will be different. This time perhaps they will return what you feel. You've been running on that self deception for a long time, Shampoo, just as I have, just as I still do. And when your hopes get smashed again, you'll come back to me, because I'm convenient. Because I'm guilty of the same crime. You'll use me because I give you love Ranma never will, and I give it because some part of me still wants to believe you can love me, even though consciously I know better. We're a perfect match, spiraling down to mutual destruction."
Still Shampoo said nothing.
"Oblivion tastes delicious," Mousse said, "doesn't it?"
"No," Shampoo said softly. "I'm not doing this for me."
"What?"
"I refuse oblivion," Shampoo said. "I'm not bringing Ranma back for me."
Mousse's eyes widened. "You're doing it for HER!?" he cried.
"Ranma owes her more than two words on a piece of paper," Shampoo said, then started walking again.
Mousse watched her go, trying to understand.
*****
FIN
Author's Notes:
1) WHEW! After a dozen re-writes and re-thinks, Shampoo and Mousse's chapter is finally done! In the process it's gone from a story of rape and revenge to a tragic love story to a musical (really!) and finally to a tale of a couple of teenagers with skewered upbringings trying to come to grips with unrequited love. What a ride!
2) This chapter makes the assumption that Shampoo actually has a soul. It's very easy, just from reading the manga (which I finally have done) and watching the anime, to dismiss Shampoo as a very shallow person with few redeeming qualities, but I refuse to do that. I believe that under all that tough, selfish amazon exterior there's a fairly ordinary teenage girl. Despite what others have claimed, if I have any sort of dislike for Shampoo, it is only because she speaks Japanese better than I do :).
As to what she did in the story, all I gotta say is unrequited love is tough stuff. Trust me, a girl in pain seeking temporary comfort in the arms of a guy ain't that unusual.
3) I've always liked the idea of Mousse finally snapping under the weight of years of obsession and going nuts.
4) Yes, Cologne had a semi-logical reason for setting Shampoo up. No, I'm not going to explain it yet. If you haven't figured it out yet, wait 'till case 7. Actually, even if you have, wait for case 7, which should be a good bit and will have Hinako in it.
5) More extensive details about Akane's training, her relationship with Ranma, and why it apparently self destructed will also be presented in case 7, as will the final resolution of Shampoo and Mousse's relationship. Have patience.
6) Case 7 will, of course, be a while in coming. I intend to finish the Imminent Coitus chapters before moving on any further, if for no other reason than to get away from this heavy melodrama for a little bit.
Pointless tales of pairing off
Standard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, there are a few things I should apologize for.
First, this is not the continuation of the Kasumi/Tofu story. Now that I finally managed to finish the Shampoo/Mousse chapter, I decided to just release it now.
Second, my original idea for getting the couple "together" have been junked on account of I couldn't stomach it. So to those who I promised something "not pretty", sorry.
Third, this chapter leans heavily towards the heavy handed melodramatic. As a result it's not particularly funny. I promise I'll make it up to you.
--------------------
CASE 6: Shampoo and Mousse, OR Gazing at Oblivion
The day after the night Ranma cried "uncle"...
Shampoo felt strangely drained when she returned to the Cat Cafe, wondering why she didn't strike while she could.
The both of them had been right there, exhausted, barely able to move. All Shampoo had needed to do was get some hot water (and there was certainly plenty of that to be had around the Tendo home) and she could have taken care of the problem quickly and easily.
But she didn't. She couldn't bring herself to do it. Why!?
She'd heard that brazen hussy Akane saying all those awful things, badgering Ranma to sleep with her again. The SLUT! Trying to turn the whole thing into some kind of romantic evening of love when she was clearly just little more than an animal in heat. Shampoo had wanted her dead so badly she could taste it.
And then she heard Ranma... agreeing to it.
Something had just... gone numb inside Shampoo. Ranma was her husband! How... how could he... After that she just wanted to get away.
They were probably at it right now, Shampoo decided. He probably held that witch in his arms right now, drawing the animal screams she seemed to favor from her as he...
No, Shampoo thought as she forced the image away. She would not, could not think about this.
A strong, proud warrior does not cry...
"Shampoo?" she heard a voice say, quite possibly the last voice she would want to hear right now.
"Go away Mousse," she said in her native Chinese. Up until now she had made a habit of speaking Japanese constantly, even to fellow Chinese, just for the practice. However, now the language just seemed... wrong to her. "Leave me alone."
"Shampoo," Mousse said, likewise in Chinese, his voice somehow soothing and yet not, "I know you are hurting. But you have to learn to accept it. Ranma loves Akane. He's never going to be interested in you."
"I told you to leave me alone, Mousse!" Shampoo snapped.
"Shampoo," Mousse pleaded, "why not put your heart into something pure and enduring..."
Shampoo tossed him through the door.
"Now is that any way to treat the employees?" Cologne asked in Japanese as she hopped into the room. "Shampoo you might want to consider what Mousse has to offer. You and he could have some very strong children."
Shampoo scowled. "Lots of strong children who can't see their hands in front of their faces," she said, sticking to Chinese. "Mousse is like a stupid little brother who doesn't know when to go home. I don't want a stupid little brother for a husband, I want Ranma." Something in her snapped. "Why didn't you stop them on the first night!" she demanded of the elder.
"I'm way too old for that sort of horsing around," Cologne replied, feeling a little bit nervous about how Shampoo would react to her next statement, "especially after all the effort I put into setting the whole thing up."
Shampoo's jaw dropped in shock. "YOU WHAT?!" she cried.
"I set everything up," Cologne repeated. "I left the Kontoraibansu powder out for you to find it. I knew that you would jump at the chance to try a new love potion on Ranma."
"But WHY?!?" Shampoo demanded. "How could you?"
"Because they're just so cute together," Cologne offered mischievously.
"GREAT GRANDMOTHER!"
"I came up with the idea shortly after your recent adventure at Jusendo," Cologne said. "Akane very nearly gave her life to protect Ranma during the fight with Saffron. Afterwards she was willing to marry him, not just because of the nannichuan, but because she WANTED to. Had it not been for your and Ukyo's intervention, they likely would have been wed that day. With that in mind it was clear to me that all the blackmail and love potions and magical devices in the world weren't going to win you Ranma, not against that sort of competition."
"But," Shampoo said softly, still trying to comprehend this whole thing. "How could you know Akane would have been exposed to it?"
"Shampoo," Cologne said. "You need to realize how things work in our world. When a man says you had better not slip on a banana peel, pull down a shroud, and look into the mirror, it is GOING TO HAPPEN. When a girl with an intense love for pigs and a desire to marry someone who can beat her pet drops out of the heavens, it is OBVIOUS who she will eventually meet. When there is a love potion that unlocks the most primal desires of violent blue haired Japanese girls, Akane's exposure to it is practically pre-ordained."
"So you just decided to push them together," Shampoo snarled, "is that it? You decided to just give up?"
"No, I didn't. I don't expect you to understand, Shampoo," Cologne said, "but this is the only way. You have to trust me."
"You lied to me," Shampoo said. "Used me for some kind of sick game, and now you ask me to trust you? Do our laws even matter to you?! I thought you wanted me to marry Ranma!"
"What I want are strong heirs to continue our bloodlines," Cologne said. "Ranma would have proven a great boon to the tribe, but if the boy's heart is truly set on Akane, then there is NOTHING you can do about it. You may have to learn to accept that."
"I refuse to!" Shampoo snapped. "By tribal law I CANNOT accept it! I can never forgive you for this, great-grandmother. You... you've..."
She stormed out.
"Is it true, old woman?" another voice demanded. Cologne turned to see Mousse talking to a jar of pickles. "You would really let me marry Shampoo?"
"Put your glasses on you idiot," Cologne said. Mousse complied. "If Shampoo agrees to the match, then I have no problem with it."
Mousse embraced Cologne happily. "Oh thank you! Thank you! I promise I will take good..."
Cologne clocked Mousse on the head. "Get your hands off of me."
Mousse sheepishly put his tribal elder down.
"As for Shampoo," Cologne added, "don't start jumping to conclusions. I haven't given up on her winning my future son-in-law just yet. If anything, now the game has just gotten more interesting."
"But..." Mousse sputtered, "I... I don't understand. You... you brought Ranma and Akane together. You let Shampoo find that Uncle Doe potion so that Akane would be exposed to it. You were trying to get them together, weren't you?"
"Why would I try to do something stupid like that?" Cologne said. "Our laws demand that Ranma marry Shampoo. You were at Jusendo, Mousse. You saw what went on between Ranma and Akane there. Do you really think Shampoo can compete against that?"
"You don't make any sense you old mummy!" Mousse declared. "How is getting Ranma and Akane together going to change that?"
Cologne shook her head. She knew he wouldn't understand either. Both he and Shampoo were far too young. They still had a lot to learn.
It was one final role of the dice, a final gamble on the personality of Akane Tendo and the nature of teenage romances. If it worked, then Shampoo would have a chance with Ranma. If it didn't... well, at least the whole mess would finally be settled.
And there were times nowadays where that was just fine with Cologne.
"I'm getting too old for this nonsense."
*****
"How could she?" Shampoo asked herself as she walked Nerima's night time streets.
It had been the ultimate betrayal. Her great grandmother had played her for a fool and taken the only man that ever meant a damn to her away, all because the old hag had decided there was no chance anymore. How could she?
But this changed nothing, she realized. It only meant that she would be fighting for Ranma on her own, without her great grandmother's help.
"Are you all right, Shampoo?" she heard a distinctly unwanted voice ask. What was he doing, following her around?
"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone you idiot duck?" she said.
"Shampoo," Mousse said, "you've been crying..."
Shampoo's eyes widened. She reached a finger up to just below her eyes, discovering tears still there. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying.
"It's nothing," she said.
"Shampoo," Mousse said softly, "I... I know it's hard, but..."
"And what do you know about anything, idiot!" Shampoo snapped.
Mousse got a sudden dark look on his face. "I think I know a little bit about unrequited love," he shot back bitterly.
"I don't want to hear it," Shampoo said, turning away from him. "This has nothing to do with you, just stay out of my way."
"Shampoo," Mousse pleaded, "you have to understand..."
"NO!" Shampoo shouted. "You have to understand! You mean nothing to me! You never will! You are beneath me!"
For a moment a look of absolute hurt flashed through Mousse's eyes. Then, something changed. His eyes got a look Shampoo had never seen before.
Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe after years of obsession for a girl he would never had, years of being seen as weak and worthless, it was foregone conclusion. In an instant he felt a clarity, an understanding, that he had never felt before. He looked upon Shampoo, and he understood everything, the true nature of their relationship, how she really felt about him, everything.
In other words, he snapped.
"Then I guess that's one thing we have in common," he said, his voice low and menacing, his face wearing a cruel smirk. "I'm beneath you and you're beneath Ranma. Except technically it's Akane who's actually beneath him right now, isn't it?"
"BASTARD!" Shampoo screamed, lunging at him. She went after him with everything she had, holding nothing back. She wanted him to hurt, on some level she might have wanted him dead.
"So is this what you wanted all along Shampoo?!" Mousse demanded as he fended off her blows. "Is that what I've been doing wrong all this time? You don't want a man to love you, you want one to conquer you!" He went on the attack. "You want someone who will MAKE you his!"
How did he get this good? Shampoo was holding nothing back and she was barely keeping up with Mousse. Could it be that all that time fighting against Ranma had really made him this strong?
"So you found the boy you wanted," Mousse continued to rant as he kept up his attacks. "You found a boy who could conquer you, but poor, poor Shampoo, he doesn't want you. All your tricks and all your schemes have gotten you nowhere. He'd rather screw a weak Japanese girl than have anything to do with you. So where does that leave you!"
Mousse's taunts lit the fire of Shampoo's anger, and she soon found levels of ability she didn't know she had as she finally began to regain control of the fight. "Who are you to criticize me!" she shouted. "You've been mooning over me ever since we were children! You're pathetic!"
"And that's why you hate me!" Mousse shot back. "That's why you're trying to kill me now! I'm a mirror to your soul! I've been hopelessly, idiotically in love with you for practically all my life, and it doesn't mean anything to you! Now you want Ranma and it's exactly the same thing! You look into my eyes and you see yourself and it sickens you! Pathetic, am I? Well at least I'm willing to admit it!"
"NO!" Shampoo shouted, pinning Mousse to a wall. "I AM NOT LIKE YOU!"
Then she looked into his eyes...
And kissed him.
*****
Some time later, Shampoo ran.
What had she done? What had she been thinking?
No, she told herself. It didn't happen. It NEVER happened. Not with Mousse, not ever.
She didn't consciously know where she was going right now, she was just running.
"It... it wasn't me," she told herself, stopping, realizing where her feet had taken her.
The Tendo Dojo.
"No," she said. "It wasn't me. It wasn't real."
She began walking to the gate, pushing as much determination as she could into her stride.
"This is real."
*****
When Shampoo came crashing into the Tendo home, she found Ranma and Akane sitting together at the table apparently sharing a nice intimate dinner together. Ranma had a dazed, confused look on his face.
Shampoo didn't want to think about what caused that. "Ranma," she said, "you come with Shampoo right now!"
Ranma seemed to only barely recognize her presence, still caught up wherever his mind was.
"Ranma's not going anywhere with you!" Akane declared angrily.
"No ask stupid pervert girl's opinion," Shampoo snapped back, dearly wishing she spoke Japanese better. She seriously doubted her bad grammar got the depths of contempt she felt for Akane across. "Is all your fault Ranma unfaithful. Shampoo get around killing you later. Right now Ranma come."
"Ranma doesn't belong to you!" Akane protested. "He doesn't have to do what you tell him." When Ranma didn't immediately speak up in agreement, she cast an angry glance his way. "Right Ranma?" Her tone was pretty clear that he had better agree with her, or there would be trouble.
"Oh... umm..." Ranma said, finally shaking out of his daze, apparently just now noticing what was going on. "What's up Shampoo?"
"Ranma," Shampoo said, "Shampoo forgive you for giving in to pervert girl if you come with her right now."
"Give... give... giving in?" Ranma sputtered, turning a bright shade of red. "I... I don't know what... what you're talking about..."
Akane smacked him. "Jerk," she said. "She was there, remember? She probably heard the whole thing." She turned her attention back to Shampoo. "And who are you calling a pervert girl!?"
"Shampoo call it as she see it," Shampoo replied. "Shampoo always figured you for screamer, happy to be proven right."
Now Akane turned bright red. "That... that was... that was all your fault!" she protested. "All because of those stupid cookies of yours! I'd have to be drugged to let him touch me!"
"Oh yeah!?" Ranma shot back, "Well who'd ever want to touch an uncute tomboy like you!" Some things were apparently instinctual.
Akane shot a death glare at Ranma. "Is that so? You didn't seem to mind all that much in the bath an hour ago!"
Ranma scoffed, "maybe I was just taking pity on ya!" he suggested venomously.
"YOU JERK!" Akane shouted, malleting Ranma into the floor with a mighty WHAM.
"Excuse, please," Shampoo said. "Shampoo still here."
Akane turned her death gaze to Shampoo.
Shampoo was undaunted. "If you no like Ranma," she said. "Then why you keep him? Give to Shampoo and he never be around to make you angry."
Shampoo was surprised that her suggestion didn't trigger another angry outburst. "Ranma is not mine to give," Akane said softly, almost resigned.
"If he no yours," Shampoo said, sensing her prey's weakness, "then you no mind Shampoo take..."
Again Akane caught Shampoo by surprise. "HE'S NOT YOURS EITHER!" she thundered. The windows rattled, the bowls on the table cracked. Whether it was the sound or the shear force of Akane's anger, one couldn't say.
And for perhaps the first time in a long time, Shampoo felt real fear.
But only for a moment. "This no over," she said. "Shampoo challenge you!"
Once again, Akane's anger seemed to dissipate. "I won't fight you over Ranma," she said softly.
"Shampoo no challenge for Ranma," Shampoo replied. "Shampoo want punish stupid pervert girl for interfering. Get Ranma after kill you."
And once again Akane's anger seemed to bounce back. "All right Shampoo," she said menacingly. "I'll fight you. It's time we settled this once and for all."
"Two... two weeks," Ranma mumbled from the floor.
"What?" both girls said in surprise.
"Wait two weeks before the fight," he said as he sat back up, something different in his voice just below the surface. "Akane isn't ready yet."
"What is that supposed to mean!" Akane demanded.
"Two weeks or two years," Shampoo said, trying to push some confidence into her voice. There was something underlying in Ranma's tone, almost as though he was warning Shampoo to back down. "Make no difference. Pervert girl good as dead."
"Then you have nothing to worry about," Ranma said.
And there it was again. There was something... cold in his voice. Just below the surface. Was it because Shampoo promised to kill Akane? Did Ranma really care so much for her?
"Okay," Shampoo said. "For airen I give pervert girl two more weeks to live." She then bounded out of the house.
*****
A couple days passed.
"Why are you here, Mousse?" Shampoo demanded quietly as she waited in ambush outside the Tendo Dojo. The duel with Akane was still a ways away, but she certainly wasn't going to let her opponent get comfortable.
But why did that idiot have to be here too? Shampoo had been doing her best not to think about their brief encounter, chalking the whole... erm... affair... to depression and stress.
"You know why I'm here," Mousse said. "Things are different now, Shampoo."
Shampoo definitely didn't like this new Mousse. He'd changed, become almost predatory. What was worse, Shampoo's moment of weakness had given him an opening (so to speak) and like any good warrior, he was using it to full advantage.
"No, they aren't," Shampoo said. "What happened before was nothing. It meant nothing. You were just convenient."
"So I'm just convenient, am I?" Mousse said. "I can live with that."
"Have you no self respect?!" Shampoo demanded.
"I gave that up when I realized I loved you," Mousse said.
"I hate you," Shampoo said. "I want nothing to do with you. I'm doing this to win Ranma."
"Who cares?" Mousse said. "No matter what happens, I'll be the one who wins in the end. I've got your number now, Shampoo. If Akane beats you, then you'll come running back to me. I'll always be there, always the convenient sop for your battered iceball of a heart. On the other hand, if you kill Akane, then Ranma will kill you. That means I'll finally be free of you. Your body or my freedom, it makes no difference to me which one I get in the end."
Okay, there were a whole lot of reasons for Shampoo to be uncomfortable with Mousse's statement. What had once been an almost cute case of puppy dog love had seemed to blossom into something far darker, far more menacing.
And he might just be... No. Shampoo refused to follow that line of thought to its conclusion. "What happened will never happen again," she said, as much to reassure herself as to deny Mousse's claim.
"You can say that all you want," Mousse said, "but I know better. I was right from the beginning. As long as you look at me and see yourself, then your pretty little ass belongs to me."
Shampoo's hand shot out almost of its own accord and wrapped itself around Mousse's neck. "Not if I kill you here," she hissed.
"Go ahead," Mousse said, an evil smile on his face. "Kill me. Snap my neck. I'll be free of you then, but what about you? For the rest of your life you'll know that you took my life because you couldn't hack it, because you couldn't admit you were as pathetic as I am."
Shampoo's hand dropped away from Mousse's neck. "Go away," she almost pleaded.
"No," Mousse said. He nodded to the Tendo house. "They should have left for school already, but they haven't. You know why. I can see it in your eyes. You know what they're doing."
"SHUT UP!" Shampoo demanded.
"Screwing like a pair of young lovers should," Mousse said.
Shampoo looked away, not wanting to see Mousse or the Tendo household.
"Why not rush in there and stop them?" Mousse asked. "You can't face them. You couldn't bear to see it. To see him holding her, to hear her enjoy his body."
Shampoo swung wildly at Mousse, only to have her wrist caught by him and spun around.
She found herself face to face with him, separated by less than a few inches.
"We're a couple of sick and twisted individuals, Shampoo," he continued. "Both hopelessly in love with someone we know we will never have. Neither willing to give up, to get on with our lives. In the end it will kill us both, but when you have nothing at all, oblivion doesn't seem that bad, does it?"
Each of them only vaguely registered that their faces were slowly moving closer and closer to each other.
"This won't happen," Shampoo said quietly. "I won't let you do this..."
"Do you think I'm in control here?" Mousse asked. "It stops when you want it to stop. I'm just convenient, remember?"
They kissed, fiercely, passionately. It was a kiss that was as full of hate and depression as desire.
"That's what makes this work," Mousse said as Shampoo began working on removing his robes. "I just don't care anymore. Soon, you won't either."
*****
More time passed, and after a dozen skirmishes, and a dozen illicit encounters that left Shampoo feeling more and more disgusted with herself, more and more dead inside, the day for the duel finally arrived.
"It ends today, Mousse," She told him as the audience gathered for the battle. The fight was being held on a field outside of Furinkan High. "After today I never want to see you again."
"How very confident of you," Mousse said. "You seem to have forgotten who's really on top here. I serve my lady's favor, nothing more."
"It stops today!" Shampoo repeated.
"If you say so," Mousse said with a smirk as he walked off.
Shampoo ignored Mousse's remark and turned to face her opponent. Akane stood ready.
Yes, she thought, today it ends. Today she would kill Akane, and she knew exactly what that meant. She had no doubt in her mind that when she stole Akane's last breath, Ranma would not hesitate. He would kill her in retaliation.
And she didn't care. She was already dead. Ranma would never want her, she knew that now. Even if he did, she had already betrayed him. Betrayed him because she was too weak to handle the truth, the truth that he would never want her...
Strange, she thought as she slipped into a fighting stance, waiting for the fight to start, she should feel angry with Akane, but she didn't feel much of anything...
*****
"How can she expect to fight like that?" Cologne asked herself from the sidelines. "I should have tried to explain the whole kontoraibansu thing to her better. Damn my convoluted scheming!"
"She ain't even putting out a battle aura," Ranma said, standing next to Cologne. "It's like her heart ain't in the fight." What Cologne had just said finally registered. "What about the kontoraibansu thing?"
"Oh... well..." Cologne sputtered. "Nothing important. Look, the fight is starting."
*****
Mousse watched as Shampoo was immediately forced on the defensive. Akane had definitely gotten faster, more graceful, in the two weeks she had had to train, but this wasn't right. She still shouldn't be able to fight Shampoo so effectively.
Shampoo's heart wasn't in it, he realized. She was just going through the motions.
"Who cares," he told himself. "Let the bitch suffer."
He watched her for a while longer. "I hope she'll be okay..."
*****
"Kuroi Ikari!" Akane cried as a blast of black ki energy shot from her palms to blast Shampoo to the ground.
"Black anger?" Cologne repeated, stunned. "You taught her a ki blast based on her anger?"
Ranma nodded proudly. "The black matches her hair," he said.
Ki blasts could be frighteningly easy to develop. All they really needed was a strong enough emotion to draw from and some awareness of a person's inner energy.
"Are you insane!?" Cologne demanded.
"Huh?" Ranma asked, confused.
"You of all people should know better than to teach her to destroy things with the force of her anger!"
Ranma opened his mouth to respond, then what Cologne was telling him registered. He got noticeably paler. "Uh oh..."
"Whoever wins this fight," Cologne said. "You had better learn to be extra nice to that girl from now on."
*****
Shampoo dragged herself back to her feet. Her chest was sore as hell from where the blast had hit her, but aside from that, she was still more than able to fight. Akane's blast apparently hadn't packed much punch.
She looked over to her opponent, and was surprised to see a look of concern on Akane's face.
"Are you okay, Shampoo?" Akane asked. "You seem..."
Pity, from this girl? This was truly the low point of Shampoo's life right here.
But she wasn't beat yet. She still had one more thing to try.
*****
"Strange," Cologne said. that blast didn't seem to have much affect."
"Akane knows!" Ranma suddenly cried. "She knows Shampoo's heart isn't in this fight! She can't keep her anger up to form a powerful enough attack!"
*****
Shampoo shook her head. It was all or nothing now. "Shampoo just thinking how pervert girl spoil Airen," she said. "Shampoo wanted to be first time. Oh well. Still ride him like bronco after kill you."
In an instant, all of Akane's concern vaporized, and she charged, a glowing blue blur of rage.
Taking a deep breath, Shampoo got ready for a very intricate dance.
*****
"This fight is over," Ranma said as he watched Shampoo ward off Akane's hail of blows, falling back into a very familiar pattern.
"Where did she learn that technique?" Cologne wanted to know as Shampoo continued to lure Akane into a spiral.
"You mean you didn't teach it to her?" Ranma asked, surprised. He had been certain that Cologne would have taught Shampoo the technique for this fight. It seemed to be tailor-made for fighting Akane.
"No I didn't," Cologne said. "She must have learned this technique on her own. It looks like she has this fight won after all..."
"Don't count on it yet, old ghoul," Ranma said, though there was a clear sound of worry in his voice.
The two combatants reached the center of the spiral, and Cologne was surprised to see Akane thrust her fist to the ground as Shampoo thrust hers to the sky.
"Hiryu..." Shampoo cried.
"Karyu..." Akane cried.
"SHOTEN HA!" they both cried in unison.
A cyclone ripped into existence, a massive cyclone of tearing winds and black, rage charged ki energy.
"It worked!" Ranma declared.
"What the hell..." Cologne uttered. "How did she..."
Both combatants were flung from the cyclone, landing at opposite ends of the field with something of a less than conscious thump.
"Of course!" Cologne said as Ranma ran off to check on Akane. "The one who uses the Hiryu Shoten Ha is normally safe because they are in the eye of the cyclone when it manifests. By thrusting her heat charged fist down as Shampoo thrust upward, Akane pulled the eye to the middle of them! That way they were both subjected to the full force of the cyclone!"
She looked over to Shampoo, who was being checked over by Mousse. Her great- granddaughter definitely seemed to have gotten the worst of it. "Akane used the Kuroi Ikari to dump ki energy into the cyclone. It couldn't hurt her, but it would have been like a firestorm to Shampoo. I should have known that if anyone could teach Akane a counter to the Hiryu Shoten Ha, it would be my future son-in-law."
*****
"Can you stand up, Shampoo?" Mousse asked as he stooped over her. Across the field, Akane was already dragging herself back up to her feet.
Shampoo just lay there, staring at the sky. Wisps of smoke curled up from her slightly scorched body.
"Akane's alive," she said.
"Yes," Mousse said. "You lost."
"And you've won," Shampoo said.
Mousse opened his mouth to speak, but the pure emptiness, the pure resignation in Shampoo's voice stopped him.
"It's what you wanted, wasn't it?" Shampoo asked. "You would be happy with my death, after all, and in a way you got your wish. I really am just like you now. I just don't care anymore. All I feel is an emptiness. Nothing means anything anymore."
Still Mousse said nothing.
"You were right," Shampoo said, "oblivion really doesn't seem so bad."
*****
Two weeks passed.
Cologne thought about Shampoo as she stirred a pot of ramen back at the Cat Cafe. She had never imagined that her great-granddaughter would take this whole thing so hard, or that she would give up.
But she had. Shampoo seemed to have given up on everything. She did little more than stay in bed and stare at the ceiling, only eating when Cologne ordered her to.
Cologne couldn't help but feel responsible. After the duel, she had intended to explain the reasons behind her actions, the last gamble she had made, but when she had heard that Ranma and Akane had consented to the wedding, a wedding that was to take place today, she just couldn't bring herself to do it.
It seemed that the gamble had failed.
Shampoo wandered into the kitchen, her expression empty, dead as she got a glass of water.
Cologne was sure that eventually Shampoo would recover from this, but the sight still clawed at her.
In the main room, Mousse could be heard welcoming a new customer.
Then the Cat Cafe blew up.
*****
Shampoo regained consciousness as she was roughly dragged to her feet by her collar.
"GIVE HIM BACK!" a voice somewhere between absolute anguish and absolute rage demanded.
It took her a moment to recognize the face of the person holding her, partially obscured as it was by her wedding veil.
"Ranma isn't yours!" Akane cried. "You have no right! He's... he's marrying me..."
She began to sob, dropping Shampoo and collapsing into a heap among the rubble of the cafe.
"What is the meaning of this?" Cologne demanded as she dug herself out of the rubble.
Shampoo caught sight of a note that had fallen out of Akane's grasp. She picked it up, recognizing Ranma's scrawl.
Her heart caught in her throat as she read the brief message. It said simply, "I'm sorry."
"Ranma left," she said quietly.
Cologne leaned over Shampoo's shoulder to read the note. Her eyes widened. "Well I'll be," she said. "Maybe the gamble paid off after all. Shampoo, this is your chance. You'll never have a better opportunity than now."
Shampoo thought about what Cologne said. She was right. Ranma had left Akane. Shampoo would never have an opportunity like this again. Somewhere inside her, a little bit of the old fire began to burn again.
She looked at Akane, who sat there crying with abandon. It was her loss, right? If Akane couldn't hold onto Ranma, then Shampoo shouldn't feel bad about taking him for herself.
It was that simple. Wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
*****
"What are you going to do?" Mousse asked as they walked back from the Tendo house. They had taken Akane home, saying nothing about her destroying the Cat Cafe when they gave the weeping girl over to the care of her sister Kasumi.
"I don't know," Shampoo said.
"Wanna fuck?"
Shampoo stopped, surprised at Mousse's words. Since the duel with Akane, Mousse had been quiet on the subject of their occasional liaisons. Shampoo had almost started to believe that that sad phase of her life was over.
"You can't fool me, Shampoo," Mousse said. "You're going after him."
"I haven't decided that yet," Shampoo protested.
"Yes you have, I can tell. You've got the fire in your eyes again." Mousse chuckled cruelly. "Do you really think this changes anything, that it was only Akane keeping Ranma out of your reach?"
Shampoo said nothing in response.
"It's so easy to get lost in the self deception all over again, isn't it?" Mousse said. "So easy to pretend that this time things will be different. This time perhaps they will return what you feel. You've been running on that self deception for a long time, Shampoo, just as I have, just as I still do. And when your hopes get smashed again, you'll come back to me, because I'm convenient. Because I'm guilty of the same crime. You'll use me because I give you love Ranma never will, and I give it because some part of me still wants to believe you can love me, even though consciously I know better. We're a perfect match, spiraling down to mutual destruction."
Still Shampoo said nothing.
"Oblivion tastes delicious," Mousse said, "doesn't it?"
"No," Shampoo said softly. "I'm not doing this for me."
"What?"
"I refuse oblivion," Shampoo said. "I'm not bringing Ranma back for me."
Mousse's eyes widened. "You're doing it for HER!?" he cried.
"Ranma owes her more than two words on a piece of paper," Shampoo said, then started walking again.
Mousse watched her go, trying to understand.
*****
FIN
Author's Notes:
1) WHEW! After a dozen re-writes and re-thinks, Shampoo and Mousse's chapter is finally done! In the process it's gone from a story of rape and revenge to a tragic love story to a musical (really!) and finally to a tale of a couple of teenagers with skewered upbringings trying to come to grips with unrequited love. What a ride!
2) This chapter makes the assumption that Shampoo actually has a soul. It's very easy, just from reading the manga (which I finally have done) and watching the anime, to dismiss Shampoo as a very shallow person with few redeeming qualities, but I refuse to do that. I believe that under all that tough, selfish amazon exterior there's a fairly ordinary teenage girl. Despite what others have claimed, if I have any sort of dislike for Shampoo, it is only because she speaks Japanese better than I do :).
As to what she did in the story, all I gotta say is unrequited love is tough stuff. Trust me, a girl in pain seeking temporary comfort in the arms of a guy ain't that unusual.
3) I've always liked the idea of Mousse finally snapping under the weight of years of obsession and going nuts.
4) Yes, Cologne had a semi-logical reason for setting Shampoo up. No, I'm not going to explain it yet. If you haven't figured it out yet, wait 'till case 7. Actually, even if you have, wait for case 7, which should be a good bit and will have Hinako in it.
5) More extensive details about Akane's training, her relationship with Ranma, and why it apparently self destructed will also be presented in case 7, as will the final resolution of Shampoo and Mousse's relationship. Have patience.
6) Case 7 will, of course, be a while in coming. I intend to finish the Imminent Coitus chapters before moving on any further, if for no other reason than to get away from this heavy melodrama for a little bit.