Couple's Therapy
Pointless tales of pairing off
NonStandard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
All characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to real people, living, dead, or wrastling crocks, is entirely coincidental. No, really.
Few kittens were harmed during the writing of this chapter.
--------------------
CASE 9: Various, OR Wars of the Heart
Part One: Hunting Parties, Poisonous Spiders, And First Kisses
--------------------
"So..." Akane asked nervously, "where did you go?"
Ranma stopped walking, surprised.
He and Akane hadn't said anything to each other since their rather botched reunion last night. Not for lack of wanting too, though. Ranma had wanted to talk to Akane, to tell her how sorry he was for everything, but...
But Akane hadn't really seemed interested in talking. She'd stormed off angry to her room shortly after he had gotten home, staying there for the rest of the night. This morning at breakfast, and for most of their walk to school, silence had reigned.
Until now.
"Well, Ranma?" Akane asked again, perhaps a little agitated at his lack of a response.
Whoops! She's still waiting for an answer. "I... ummm, I went up to Ryugenzawa," Ranma said.
"Ryugenzawa?" Akane repeated, confused.
"Yeah," Ranma said. "I... well... I needed to think about some things."
"I see," Akane said, her tone unreadable. After a moment's pause, she started walking again.
What was she thinking, Ranma wondered. Does she hate me now?
He could say something to her. He should say something to her. But what? Nothing he could think of would come out right. That was always the problem, every time he tried to say something it always came out wrong.
What to do? What to say?
"I'm sorry Ranma," Akane said.
Ranma stopped once again, stunned.
"I guess I just got carried away," Akane continued. "I got caught up in... well... everything. I shouldn't have... well..."
Akane was apologizing to HIM? "Are you feeling all right Akane?" he asked incredulously.
In retrospect that might not have been the best thing to say.
"Excuse me?" Akane asked, a hint of displeasure in her voice. "Just what do you mean by that, Ranma?"
"What d'ya mean what do I mean?" Ranma barked. "I'm the one who should be apologizin here!"
"It was my fault, Ranma!" Akane snapped back. "I should have known you'd be too spineless to get married!"
"Who're you callin spineless!" Ranma demanded.
"You, you coward!" Akane hollered back.
"Tomboy!"
"Pervert!"
"That's a good one comin from you!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
"YOU HEARD ME!"
For a moment they just glared at each other.
Then, before he even realized what was happening, Ranma had grabbed Akane with his good arm and pulled her to him. Akane eagerly embraced him as their lips met in a passionate kiss.
They abruptly broke their kiss, each trying to figure out what had just happened and ready to yell at the other for kissing them like that. Instead, they kissed again. And again, letting the passion of the moment take hold of them this time.
It is likely they would have carried on like this for some time had not someone else decided to intervene.
"UNHAND HIM YOU WICKED WICKED GIRL!"
Ranma and Akane broke from their embrace at the sound of that familiar and wholly unwanted voice.
Kodachi Kuno burned with anger as she stepped out from an alley. "Harridan, temptress, despoiler," she uttered in a low hiss like one pissed off cobra, "for this transgression there can be no forgiveness."
"Now now, Kodachi," her companion said as he too emerged from the alley. "We had an agreement."
Kodachi AND Pantyhose Taro? "This is just what I needed," Ranma grumbled sarcastically. "Right when it was getting good too."
"This... COCKROACH... will pay for what she has done!" Kodachi declared.
"In due time, my dear," Taro said, taking a liquid filled balloon from behind his back. "But first thing's first!"
He threw the balloon at Ranma, and Ranma dodged it with ease. The balloon burst against the sidewalk.
"A water balloon?" Ranma scoffed. "You're gonna have to do better than that to get me, Pantyhose."
A certain well known old woman chose this moment to splash Ranma as she went about her daily cleaning.
"Is that so, cross dresser?" Taro said as Ranma was doused. He turned to Kodachi. "See my dear? It is just as I told you."
Kodachi scoffed. "My dear Taro," she said, "Why must you persist in this silly lie?"
Taro looked back, and his eyes widened with shock. "WHAT! How can this be!?"
Ranma stood with a grin on his (yeah, HIS) face. "What's the matter, Pantyhose?" he mocked, "expectin a girl?"
Taro's shock quickly changed to a defiant grin, however. "It would have been better for you if you did change," he said. "Oh well, I was kind of hoping it would come to this."
He drew another water balloon from behind his back and broke it over his own head.
As Taro changed from a young man to a giant horned collection of scary animals, Ranma knew he was in trouble. Normally he had a fairly good chance fighting Taro in his jusenkyo form. But now... he wasn't in top form. Actually, he was downright hurt. His recent battle with a dragon had done more to him than just break his arm. He didn't have the strength for this right now.
Best plan for a quick exit. He looked to Akane, ready to tell her to get ready to run...
...and felt a tremor of fear when he saw her. Akane glowed bright blue with anger. Somehow, something had just made Akane mad.
"Ranma..." she uttered, low and angry, "...YOU JERK!"
She cut loose with a blast of crackling black energy (thankfully not aimed at Ranma). The blast struck Taro square in the chest and tossed him out of the fight.
Ranma felt a feeling of relief. One which was quickly lost when Akane, still VERY angry, grabbed him by the shirt and pinned him to the fence bordering the canal.
"YOU SKIPPED OUT ON OUR WEDDING TO GO TO JUSENKYO, DIDN'T YOU!" Akane demanded. "YOU PIG!"
"Wait, Akane," Ranma pleaded, "it ain't like that!"
Akane dropped him to the ground with a resounding slap to the face.
"Save it, Ranma," Akane snapped bitterly. "I don't want to hear it."
"Now hurry up," she added as she started walking again, "or we're going to be late."
Ranma got back to his feet and shook his head.
"Would it kill her to listen to me at least once before she hits me?" he complained. "Uncute as ever."
*****
Of course, both Ranma and Akane had forgotten about Kodachi, who had skulked away to a safe hiding place the instant Akane started whipping out energy blasts.
"She has become formidable," she said. "I will have to be very careful about how I deal with this insect."
She let away, cackling madly and leaving a trail of black rose petals in her wake.
*****
By the time Taro regained consciousness, he was alone. He got back to his feet, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. That Akane girl had never been able to pull stuff like that before.
A passerby caught sight of him and screamed. He growled at her to scare her off.
What to do? If Akane sticks with the cross dresser (and from the way the two had been practically making out before, the odds of that were pretty good) then Taro didn't have much of a chance of getting close to him. Damn her interference!
The decision became obvious. Before he could go after Ranma, he would have to deal with Akane.
He smiled a grim smile. So Kodachi would get what she wanted. But afterwards... once Akane and her super powers were out of the way...
The cross dresser would be next!
*****
The air was thick with the sound of gossip as Ranma and Akane arrived at school.
"They've been gone for nearly two months."
"You think they've been going at it the whole time?"
"Hey, Saotome's arm's in a cast! I guess Akane likes the rough stuff!"
"You think they ever try girl-girl?"
"Well, I heard Saotome disappeared for a while to have a tryst with his Chinese girlfriend."
"But he's still with Akane? I wonder if she..."
"Is it too late to transfer to another school?" Ranma asked Akane, his face burning crimson.
He'd meant it as sort of a joke, but Akane didn't seem the least bit amused. "So just where did you go, Ranma?" she asked as they walked through the gossiping crowds.
Ranma couldn't help but feel a little nervous. "I told you already. I went up to Ryugenzawa to think."
Akane snagged a fire bucket which just happened to be nearby and doused Ranma. "Care to try again?" she asked after Ranma didn't change into a girl.
"Well, umm..."
"I'm waiting," Akane said menacingly.
"Hold on Akane," Ranma said defensively. "I know what you're thinking. Look, I had some stuff to do in China and Jusenkyo was just on the way. It wasn't like I left just to get cured."
"Just on the way, huh?" Akane asked, sounding rather unconvinced. "So what were you doing in China?"
An unpleasant image flashed through Ranma's mind. "Well... y'know... stuff."
"With Shampoo?" Akane asked suddenly.
"Huh?" Where did that come from?
"I know she went out to look for you," Akane said. "She wouldn't tell me what happened."
Ranma thought for a moment, remembering one of the lines of gossip that he had heard a few moments ago. "Oh man Akane, you really think I'm that sort of guy?"
Akane stopped walking and gave Ranma a hard stare. "I don't know, Ranma. Just what kind of guy are you?"
"Nothin happened between me and Shampoo, okay?" Ranma protested. "People make stuff up all the time."
"And I'm just supposed to take your word for it?" Akane demanded.
"Why not?" Ranma snapped back. "Why is it so hard for you to have a little faith in me once in a while?"
"Maybe it's because you're untrustworthy!"
Ranma would have said something in response, but he was stopped by an undeniable feeling of danger. By reflex he grabbed Akane with his good arm and leapt away.
"What are you doing!" Akane demanded.
The small Mitsubishi that crashed into the ground where they were standing answered her question.
"A monster!" some girl screamed, pointing up in the sky.
Ranma looked up to see Taro's horned, tentacled form as the monster dove directly at him. Still pulling Akane along, he lept again, just narrowly avoiding a blow which cratered cement.
Still Taro kept after them.
Ranma landed hard from the next leap and felt pain shoot up his ankle (which wasn't in the best shape either). For a brief moment he was stalled, and that was all Taro needed.
As the monster lunged towards him, Ranma knew he wouldn't be able to avoid it this time.
Then a chiropractor landed on Taro's head, knocking him to the ground. Said chiropractor in the meanwhile ran off in terror, not even noticing that he had just run over someone.
Taro got his arms under himself and began getting up, but was driven back into the pavement when Happosai, his two old friends Lukkosai and Chingensai, an Australian in shorts, and a cameraman bounced off his head in rapid succession, each running off in pursuit of the chiropractor.
Kasumi paused as she came running past next, carrying what appeared to be a bolt action rifle.
(Don't worry, Kasumi isn't going postal. It's only a tranquilizer rifle.)
"Oh my," she said to Taro, "I'm terribly sorry."
Then she moved on, hoping to catch up with the rest of the hunting party.
"Was that... Doctor Tofu?" Akane asked, confused, stunned, and in general totally lost.
"I think so," Ranma said, a little less lost than Akane. Nabiki had told him that there was something going on between Kasumi and Dr. Tofu. Though this was... "Who were those foreigners?"
"I have no idea," Akane said.
The school bells began ringing.
"Oh great," Akane said. She began pulling Ranma along. "Lets go, we're going to be late!"
Taro, meanwhile, lay on the pavement, generally forgotten.
*****
By lunchtime Hiroshi and Daisuke had cornered Ranma in a corner of the classroom.
"Okay Saotome," Hiroshi said, "start talking."
"'bout what?" Ranma asked, trying to sound innocent. He had a good idea what this was about, and frankly this wasn't exactly something he wanted to deal with.
"You know what we mean," Daisuke said. "We know all about what you and Akane've been up to."
"Whoa, hold on a second!" Ranma demanded, blushing furiously. "What me and Akane do ain't none of you business!"
"So you admit something's been going on between you two!" Hiroshi pressed.
"Hey, I never said nothin like that!"
"Don't bother trying to deny it, Saotome," Daisuke said. "It's all over the school."
"Yeah," Hiroshi said, his voice taking a disturbing tone, "and seeing as how we're your friends and all, we think you owe it to us to give us some details."
"De...details..."
A school bag struck him in the head.
"Don't even think about it Ranma!"
*****
"Honestly," Akane said after she had recovered her school bag, "I can't believe him!"
"I wasn't gonna say nothin, moron!" Ranma snapped at her. She ignored him as she sat back down to eat her lunch.
What was with him? Ever since he'd gotten back it had just been one aggravation after another. This was not how she had wanted it.
Even at her lowest points of depression during his absence, Akane had always held the dimmest of hopes that Ranma would return to her, that they would have the sort of reunion she'd read about in fantasy stories when she was younger.
A tearful embrace, a kiss, and happily ever after.
Instead, every time she had tried to get that, to make up, they'd only started fighting again. It was so frustrating!
Of course, they did get the kiss at least...
Akane blushed just a little bit when she thought about it. In a way she could still feel his kisses on her lips. Okay, they had kissed before, quite a lot lately, but this was... different somehow. It was like it meant something more. More than all the nights they had spent in each other's arms.
It was, she realized, their first kiss. Not the first time they had kissed, THEIR first kiss. It wasn't Ranma kissing her because she goaded him into it, or her kissing him because she wanted him (no matter how he felt). They kissed each other, because it was what they both wanted.
It might not seem like much of a distinction to some, but thinking about it in those terms made Akane feel a little light headed.
Maybe she'd been a little too hard on him today, she decided. Though it frustrated her to no end that Ranma wouldn't tell her where he had gone or what he had been doing, it didn't change the fact that he had come back, that he was always planning to come back.
She glanced over to see that Ranma was still being hounded by Hiroshi and Daisuke (and that most of the rest of the class had gathered around just in case Ranma let some juicy detail slip).
She was surprised to see him wince a little when he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and it occurred to her that he had foregone his usual workout this morning. He... he must have gone through something terrible if he was still hurting now.
Just what had happened to him?
*****
Stealthfully, Kodachi slipped into the deserted girls locker room, quickly locating the locker of Akane Tendo.
"That witch!", she hissed, "Taking advantage of my absence to work her evil spell over my darling Ranma." She quickly popped the lock on the door and opened the locker.
She slipped a small box under Akane's gym shirt and opened it, lightly coaxing the tiny occupant of the box out to a new hiding place under the collar.
"This should take care of her interfering, once and for all," she said, closing the locker.
She began to cackle madly as she made her escape, twirling her ribbon and scattering black rose petals behind her.
*****
"Who made this mess?" Yuka wondered as she changed for gym class. There were black rose petals everywhere.
Akane was still lost in thought, questions about what Ranma had been doing while he was away running through her mind along with inane thoughts about what she still thought of as their first kiss. So lost, in fact, that not only did she not hear Yuka's question, she didn't even really notice the black rose petals.
If she had, she might have been a little bit more careful when she pulled out her gym shirt. As it was she didn't even notice the tiny black creature with a splash of red on its belly that had claimed her shirt as its own and stood ready to defend its newfound lair.
"Ow!" she uttered when she felt a sharp stab in her hand, which caused her to drop her shirt.
"What's wrong Akane?" Sayuri asked, looking over.
"Something just bit me," Akane said. She looked down at her hand, feeling the pain intensify and spread.
The creature skittered across the floor.
"AHH!" Yuka cried, "A SPIDER!"
The locker room was filled with the panicked screams of girls as the spider ran for cover and safety.
Akane was meanwhile dizzy due to the intense pain the spider's neurotoxin was inflicting upon her. She fell to her knees, her breaths coming in labored gasps.
"Akane?" There was clearly concern in Sayuri's voice, "are you all right?"
"I... I can't..." Akane gasped, "I can't breathe..."
Then she collapsed.
"Akane!"
*****
TO BE CONTINUED!
*****
Author's Notes:
1) Yes, I know poisonous spiders aren't Kodachi's normal MO, but I just thought I'd do something special for one of my faithful readers.
(call me Joey-bear will she... Kitten, you are getting SO many spiders for Valentine's Day...)
2) The effects of the spider's toxin (and it is a neurotoxin) were drawn from two seperate sources, however neither was particularly detailed and gave no information on the speed of toxin. It could very well be that it wouldn't have affected Akane that quickly (or that severely, though it can be life threatening), though I hope nobody will hold it against me.
3) As should be readily apparent, I haven't forgotten about Kasumi and Tofu. However, I do believe I will be folding the remaining portions of the Iminent Coitus storyline into this one. This promises to make this particular set of chapters pretty chaotic (seeing as how I've got them, Kodachi/Taro, Ranma/Akane, plus the lead in to the revisits of Ryoga/Ukyo and Nabiki/Kuno to cover... yup this is going to be a mess). Hope you can keep up!
4) Yes, I had to cure Ranma. It's kinda important for some planned parts of the story.
5) And a final note: With how well(?) things are going between Ranma and Akane, some of you might be wondering about Gendo's little prediction back in 7-3. Rest assured that it will come to pass. Shampoo will have her pigtailed boy, it won't be Mousse with a new hairdo (The Shampoo/Mousse pairing is complete), and there will be a girl in the grave before it happens.
On that happy thought, see you next time!
Pointless tales of pairing off
NonStandard Issue Disclaimer:
Ranma 1/2 is not mine to do with as I please. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and some other people whose names I don't recall. Please don't sue me!
All characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to real people, living, dead, or wrastling crocks, is entirely coincidental. No, really.
Few kittens were harmed during the writing of this chapter.
--------------------
CASE 9: Various, OR Wars of the Heart
Part One: Hunting Parties, Poisonous Spiders, And First Kisses
--------------------
"So..." Akane asked nervously, "where did you go?"
Ranma stopped walking, surprised.
He and Akane hadn't said anything to each other since their rather botched reunion last night. Not for lack of wanting too, though. Ranma had wanted to talk to Akane, to tell her how sorry he was for everything, but...
But Akane hadn't really seemed interested in talking. She'd stormed off angry to her room shortly after he had gotten home, staying there for the rest of the night. This morning at breakfast, and for most of their walk to school, silence had reigned.
Until now.
"Well, Ranma?" Akane asked again, perhaps a little agitated at his lack of a response.
Whoops! She's still waiting for an answer. "I... ummm, I went up to Ryugenzawa," Ranma said.
"Ryugenzawa?" Akane repeated, confused.
"Yeah," Ranma said. "I... well... I needed to think about some things."
"I see," Akane said, her tone unreadable. After a moment's pause, she started walking again.
What was she thinking, Ranma wondered. Does she hate me now?
He could say something to her. He should say something to her. But what? Nothing he could think of would come out right. That was always the problem, every time he tried to say something it always came out wrong.
What to do? What to say?
"I'm sorry Ranma," Akane said.
Ranma stopped once again, stunned.
"I guess I just got carried away," Akane continued. "I got caught up in... well... everything. I shouldn't have... well..."
Akane was apologizing to HIM? "Are you feeling all right Akane?" he asked incredulously.
In retrospect that might not have been the best thing to say.
"Excuse me?" Akane asked, a hint of displeasure in her voice. "Just what do you mean by that, Ranma?"
"What d'ya mean what do I mean?" Ranma barked. "I'm the one who should be apologizin here!"
"It was my fault, Ranma!" Akane snapped back. "I should have known you'd be too spineless to get married!"
"Who're you callin spineless!" Ranma demanded.
"You, you coward!" Akane hollered back.
"Tomboy!"
"Pervert!"
"That's a good one comin from you!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
"YOU HEARD ME!"
For a moment they just glared at each other.
Then, before he even realized what was happening, Ranma had grabbed Akane with his good arm and pulled her to him. Akane eagerly embraced him as their lips met in a passionate kiss.
They abruptly broke their kiss, each trying to figure out what had just happened and ready to yell at the other for kissing them like that. Instead, they kissed again. And again, letting the passion of the moment take hold of them this time.
It is likely they would have carried on like this for some time had not someone else decided to intervene.
"UNHAND HIM YOU WICKED WICKED GIRL!"
Ranma and Akane broke from their embrace at the sound of that familiar and wholly unwanted voice.
Kodachi Kuno burned with anger as she stepped out from an alley. "Harridan, temptress, despoiler," she uttered in a low hiss like one pissed off cobra, "for this transgression there can be no forgiveness."
"Now now, Kodachi," her companion said as he too emerged from the alley. "We had an agreement."
Kodachi AND Pantyhose Taro? "This is just what I needed," Ranma grumbled sarcastically. "Right when it was getting good too."
"This... COCKROACH... will pay for what she has done!" Kodachi declared.
"In due time, my dear," Taro said, taking a liquid filled balloon from behind his back. "But first thing's first!"
He threw the balloon at Ranma, and Ranma dodged it with ease. The balloon burst against the sidewalk.
"A water balloon?" Ranma scoffed. "You're gonna have to do better than that to get me, Pantyhose."
A certain well known old woman chose this moment to splash Ranma as she went about her daily cleaning.
"Is that so, cross dresser?" Taro said as Ranma was doused. He turned to Kodachi. "See my dear? It is just as I told you."
Kodachi scoffed. "My dear Taro," she said, "Why must you persist in this silly lie?"
Taro looked back, and his eyes widened with shock. "WHAT! How can this be!?"
Ranma stood with a grin on his (yeah, HIS) face. "What's the matter, Pantyhose?" he mocked, "expectin a girl?"
Taro's shock quickly changed to a defiant grin, however. "It would have been better for you if you did change," he said. "Oh well, I was kind of hoping it would come to this."
He drew another water balloon from behind his back and broke it over his own head.
As Taro changed from a young man to a giant horned collection of scary animals, Ranma knew he was in trouble. Normally he had a fairly good chance fighting Taro in his jusenkyo form. But now... he wasn't in top form. Actually, he was downright hurt. His recent battle with a dragon had done more to him than just break his arm. He didn't have the strength for this right now.
Best plan for a quick exit. He looked to Akane, ready to tell her to get ready to run...
...and felt a tremor of fear when he saw her. Akane glowed bright blue with anger. Somehow, something had just made Akane mad.
"Ranma..." she uttered, low and angry, "...YOU JERK!"
She cut loose with a blast of crackling black energy (thankfully not aimed at Ranma). The blast struck Taro square in the chest and tossed him out of the fight.
Ranma felt a feeling of relief. One which was quickly lost when Akane, still VERY angry, grabbed him by the shirt and pinned him to the fence bordering the canal.
"YOU SKIPPED OUT ON OUR WEDDING TO GO TO JUSENKYO, DIDN'T YOU!" Akane demanded. "YOU PIG!"
"Wait, Akane," Ranma pleaded, "it ain't like that!"
Akane dropped him to the ground with a resounding slap to the face.
"Save it, Ranma," Akane snapped bitterly. "I don't want to hear it."
"Now hurry up," she added as she started walking again, "or we're going to be late."
Ranma got back to his feet and shook his head.
"Would it kill her to listen to me at least once before she hits me?" he complained. "Uncute as ever."
*****
Of course, both Ranma and Akane had forgotten about Kodachi, who had skulked away to a safe hiding place the instant Akane started whipping out energy blasts.
"She has become formidable," she said. "I will have to be very careful about how I deal with this insect."
She let away, cackling madly and leaving a trail of black rose petals in her wake.
*****
By the time Taro regained consciousness, he was alone. He got back to his feet, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. That Akane girl had never been able to pull stuff like that before.
A passerby caught sight of him and screamed. He growled at her to scare her off.
What to do? If Akane sticks with the cross dresser (and from the way the two had been practically making out before, the odds of that were pretty good) then Taro didn't have much of a chance of getting close to him. Damn her interference!
The decision became obvious. Before he could go after Ranma, he would have to deal with Akane.
He smiled a grim smile. So Kodachi would get what she wanted. But afterwards... once Akane and her super powers were out of the way...
The cross dresser would be next!
*****
The air was thick with the sound of gossip as Ranma and Akane arrived at school.
"They've been gone for nearly two months."
"You think they've been going at it the whole time?"
"Hey, Saotome's arm's in a cast! I guess Akane likes the rough stuff!"
"You think they ever try girl-girl?"
"Well, I heard Saotome disappeared for a while to have a tryst with his Chinese girlfriend."
"But he's still with Akane? I wonder if she..."
"Is it too late to transfer to another school?" Ranma asked Akane, his face burning crimson.
He'd meant it as sort of a joke, but Akane didn't seem the least bit amused. "So just where did you go, Ranma?" she asked as they walked through the gossiping crowds.
Ranma couldn't help but feel a little nervous. "I told you already. I went up to Ryugenzawa to think."
Akane snagged a fire bucket which just happened to be nearby and doused Ranma. "Care to try again?" she asked after Ranma didn't change into a girl.
"Well, umm..."
"I'm waiting," Akane said menacingly.
"Hold on Akane," Ranma said defensively. "I know what you're thinking. Look, I had some stuff to do in China and Jusenkyo was just on the way. It wasn't like I left just to get cured."
"Just on the way, huh?" Akane asked, sounding rather unconvinced. "So what were you doing in China?"
An unpleasant image flashed through Ranma's mind. "Well... y'know... stuff."
"With Shampoo?" Akane asked suddenly.
"Huh?" Where did that come from?
"I know she went out to look for you," Akane said. "She wouldn't tell me what happened."
Ranma thought for a moment, remembering one of the lines of gossip that he had heard a few moments ago. "Oh man Akane, you really think I'm that sort of guy?"
Akane stopped walking and gave Ranma a hard stare. "I don't know, Ranma. Just what kind of guy are you?"
"Nothin happened between me and Shampoo, okay?" Ranma protested. "People make stuff up all the time."
"And I'm just supposed to take your word for it?" Akane demanded.
"Why not?" Ranma snapped back. "Why is it so hard for you to have a little faith in me once in a while?"
"Maybe it's because you're untrustworthy!"
Ranma would have said something in response, but he was stopped by an undeniable feeling of danger. By reflex he grabbed Akane with his good arm and leapt away.
"What are you doing!" Akane demanded.
The small Mitsubishi that crashed into the ground where they were standing answered her question.
"A monster!" some girl screamed, pointing up in the sky.
Ranma looked up to see Taro's horned, tentacled form as the monster dove directly at him. Still pulling Akane along, he lept again, just narrowly avoiding a blow which cratered cement.
Still Taro kept after them.
Ranma landed hard from the next leap and felt pain shoot up his ankle (which wasn't in the best shape either). For a brief moment he was stalled, and that was all Taro needed.
As the monster lunged towards him, Ranma knew he wouldn't be able to avoid it this time.
Then a chiropractor landed on Taro's head, knocking him to the ground. Said chiropractor in the meanwhile ran off in terror, not even noticing that he had just run over someone.
Taro got his arms under himself and began getting up, but was driven back into the pavement when Happosai, his two old friends Lukkosai and Chingensai, an Australian in shorts, and a cameraman bounced off his head in rapid succession, each running off in pursuit of the chiropractor.
Kasumi paused as she came running past next, carrying what appeared to be a bolt action rifle.
(Don't worry, Kasumi isn't going postal. It's only a tranquilizer rifle.)
"Oh my," she said to Taro, "I'm terribly sorry."
Then she moved on, hoping to catch up with the rest of the hunting party.
"Was that... Doctor Tofu?" Akane asked, confused, stunned, and in general totally lost.
"I think so," Ranma said, a little less lost than Akane. Nabiki had told him that there was something going on between Kasumi and Dr. Tofu. Though this was... "Who were those foreigners?"
"I have no idea," Akane said.
The school bells began ringing.
"Oh great," Akane said. She began pulling Ranma along. "Lets go, we're going to be late!"
Taro, meanwhile, lay on the pavement, generally forgotten.
*****
By lunchtime Hiroshi and Daisuke had cornered Ranma in a corner of the classroom.
"Okay Saotome," Hiroshi said, "start talking."
"'bout what?" Ranma asked, trying to sound innocent. He had a good idea what this was about, and frankly this wasn't exactly something he wanted to deal with.
"You know what we mean," Daisuke said. "We know all about what you and Akane've been up to."
"Whoa, hold on a second!" Ranma demanded, blushing furiously. "What me and Akane do ain't none of you business!"
"So you admit something's been going on between you two!" Hiroshi pressed.
"Hey, I never said nothin like that!"
"Don't bother trying to deny it, Saotome," Daisuke said. "It's all over the school."
"Yeah," Hiroshi said, his voice taking a disturbing tone, "and seeing as how we're your friends and all, we think you owe it to us to give us some details."
"De...details..."
A school bag struck him in the head.
"Don't even think about it Ranma!"
*****
"Honestly," Akane said after she had recovered her school bag, "I can't believe him!"
"I wasn't gonna say nothin, moron!" Ranma snapped at her. She ignored him as she sat back down to eat her lunch.
What was with him? Ever since he'd gotten back it had just been one aggravation after another. This was not how she had wanted it.
Even at her lowest points of depression during his absence, Akane had always held the dimmest of hopes that Ranma would return to her, that they would have the sort of reunion she'd read about in fantasy stories when she was younger.
A tearful embrace, a kiss, and happily ever after.
Instead, every time she had tried to get that, to make up, they'd only started fighting again. It was so frustrating!
Of course, they did get the kiss at least...
Akane blushed just a little bit when she thought about it. In a way she could still feel his kisses on her lips. Okay, they had kissed before, quite a lot lately, but this was... different somehow. It was like it meant something more. More than all the nights they had spent in each other's arms.
It was, she realized, their first kiss. Not the first time they had kissed, THEIR first kiss. It wasn't Ranma kissing her because she goaded him into it, or her kissing him because she wanted him (no matter how he felt). They kissed each other, because it was what they both wanted.
It might not seem like much of a distinction to some, but thinking about it in those terms made Akane feel a little light headed.
Maybe she'd been a little too hard on him today, she decided. Though it frustrated her to no end that Ranma wouldn't tell her where he had gone or what he had been doing, it didn't change the fact that he had come back, that he was always planning to come back.
She glanced over to see that Ranma was still being hounded by Hiroshi and Daisuke (and that most of the rest of the class had gathered around just in case Ranma let some juicy detail slip).
She was surprised to see him wince a little when he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and it occurred to her that he had foregone his usual workout this morning. He... he must have gone through something terrible if he was still hurting now.
Just what had happened to him?
*****
Stealthfully, Kodachi slipped into the deserted girls locker room, quickly locating the locker of Akane Tendo.
"That witch!", she hissed, "Taking advantage of my absence to work her evil spell over my darling Ranma." She quickly popped the lock on the door and opened the locker.
She slipped a small box under Akane's gym shirt and opened it, lightly coaxing the tiny occupant of the box out to a new hiding place under the collar.
"This should take care of her interfering, once and for all," she said, closing the locker.
She began to cackle madly as she made her escape, twirling her ribbon and scattering black rose petals behind her.
*****
"Who made this mess?" Yuka wondered as she changed for gym class. There were black rose petals everywhere.
Akane was still lost in thought, questions about what Ranma had been doing while he was away running through her mind along with inane thoughts about what she still thought of as their first kiss. So lost, in fact, that not only did she not hear Yuka's question, she didn't even really notice the black rose petals.
If she had, she might have been a little bit more careful when she pulled out her gym shirt. As it was she didn't even notice the tiny black creature with a splash of red on its belly that had claimed her shirt as its own and stood ready to defend its newfound lair.
"Ow!" she uttered when she felt a sharp stab in her hand, which caused her to drop her shirt.
"What's wrong Akane?" Sayuri asked, looking over.
"Something just bit me," Akane said. She looked down at her hand, feeling the pain intensify and spread.
The creature skittered across the floor.
"AHH!" Yuka cried, "A SPIDER!"
The locker room was filled with the panicked screams of girls as the spider ran for cover and safety.
Akane was meanwhile dizzy due to the intense pain the spider's neurotoxin was inflicting upon her. She fell to her knees, her breaths coming in labored gasps.
"Akane?" There was clearly concern in Sayuri's voice, "are you all right?"
"I... I can't..." Akane gasped, "I can't breathe..."
Then she collapsed.
"Akane!"
*****
TO BE CONTINUED!
*****
Author's Notes:
1) Yes, I know poisonous spiders aren't Kodachi's normal MO, but I just thought I'd do something special for one of my faithful readers.
(call me Joey-bear will she... Kitten, you are getting SO many spiders for Valentine's Day...)
2) The effects of the spider's toxin (and it is a neurotoxin) were drawn from two seperate sources, however neither was particularly detailed and gave no information on the speed of toxin. It could very well be that it wouldn't have affected Akane that quickly (or that severely, though it can be life threatening), though I hope nobody will hold it against me.
3) As should be readily apparent, I haven't forgotten about Kasumi and Tofu. However, I do believe I will be folding the remaining portions of the Iminent Coitus storyline into this one. This promises to make this particular set of chapters pretty chaotic (seeing as how I've got them, Kodachi/Taro, Ranma/Akane, plus the lead in to the revisits of Ryoga/Ukyo and Nabiki/Kuno to cover... yup this is going to be a mess). Hope you can keep up!
4) Yes, I had to cure Ranma. It's kinda important for some planned parts of the story.
5) And a final note: With how well(?) things are going between Ranma and Akane, some of you might be wondering about Gendo's little prediction back in 7-3. Rest assured that it will come to pass. Shampoo will have her pigtailed boy, it won't be Mousse with a new hairdo (The Shampoo/Mousse pairing is complete), and there will be a girl in the grave before it happens.
On that happy thought, see you next time!