The Sacred Night, Chapter Six
"Here it is! Kyoto!" Misao exclaimed as we entered the city. I had a combination of feelings, and they didn't exactly make me want to shout as Misao was doing. I was reminded of several people I'd left or outlived in this place, only one of whom I was likely to see again. I was not even all that likely to see him, but it was impossible or almost so to see the others. I didn't want to face my shishou after leaving him without explanation fifteen years before. He must've thought I was being rebellious, but I was actually being cowardly. I couldn't tell him the truth.
"Hai, Misao-dono, it's Kyoto, that it is," I acknowledged mildly. I was sad for another reason that we'd arrived. I found myself wanting to stay with Misao longer and be her friend, but I knew that since we'd arrived in Kyoto, she wouldn't be traveling with me anymore. I had to move on and get back to my real life... death. I couldn't indulge any more. I had to make good on my promise to myself and countless statements to Misao- I was going to die soon. I was finally going to die fully, not stay in this state of limbo I'd entered fifteen years before.
I continued walking with her once we were in the city, waiting to say goodbye until we reached her residence. She led me through the city to a comfortable-looking inn, and I was a bit confused until she told me that her family owned it. It was a place called the Aoiya where this group led by the leader she'd been seeking apparently had its headquarters. I still didn't know the purpose of the group. She opened a door and began to enter, receiving happy greetings, while I remained outside. I was considering leaving without saying anything to her, since she seemed happy enough to be back and appeared to have forgotten I was present, but she turned in the doorway and looked back at me.
"Come in, Himura-san," she prompted, as if I should have known to do so.
"I don't want to bother you; your family wants to see you..." I protested, but she walked over and dragged me by the arm inside.
"Hi, Gramps! This is Himura-san, a traveler I met on the way here. He's going to be staying here with us," she explained casually.
"Oro? I never said that, Misao-dono..."
"I insist. It's not as if you have urgent business to attend to, is it? Where were you planning on going after you dropped me off here?"
'Into The Great Void' seemed too depressing and personal an answer to give in the presence of her grandfather whom I'd just met, and I knew she'd never let me leave for that reason anyway, so I just admitted defeat. "I don't suppose I have any urgent business, Misao-dono, that I don't," I supposed, in a way, I was already in The Great Void.
"Then you'll stay here while you're in Kyoto. You can sleep in my room!"
"Oro!"
"I didn't mean with me, you dingbat!" She swatted me across the head. "I'll sleep in Aoshi-sama's room! It's not as if he'll be in it,"
"So you failed to retrieve him as I told you you would. I'm just glad you returned safely," her grandfather interjected for the first time.
"Of course I returned safely, it's not as if I'm a child!" She argued.
"Whatever you say, Misao-chan," he replied coolly and she fumed. "Just don't give our guest a bad impression..." she quieted down quickly. "Besides, where are your manners? You haven't even introduced me,"
"Oh! Himura-san, this is my guardian, Okina," she finished. So he wasn't her grandfather, she was adopted. That wasn't a big deal- I had experience in that area, and even if I hadn't, it was a common practice. I wondered whether her parents were alive somewhere or if she was orphaned, but I didn't ask such a rude question.
"Konnichi wa, Okina-san," I bowed respectfully to the older man. His hair was entirely gray, so he must have been at least sixty. I was a mere twenty-nine, in human terms, and my hair was still solid red, unfortunately.
"It's getting late, Misao-chan, perhaps Himura-san would like to go to bed now," he said, indicating that she was to show me to my sleeping room.
"It's all right, Okina-san, I'm not tired at all. Of course, if you'd like to go to bed, I'll go so I won't disturb you," I replied smilingly. It was still early for me, and I liked to stay awake as long as possible during the short nighttime. It wasn't as if I had the option of doing so during the day.
"Misao-chan needs to go to sleep,"
"Gramps!" She fumed. "I'm used to staying awake at night, too, from traveling with Himura-san. He likes the night," she explained. I didn't know if I would call that true, but she had no way to know that.
"Himura-san can do what he likes- I'm not his guardian, but Misao-chan will be going to bed," he decreed, and I was ready to go off to whatever room was assigned me and be quiet so the humans could sleep. Misao had other plans.
"I'm not a child, Gramps! I'm staying up with Himura-san and there's nothing you can do to stop me,"
I was shifting uncomfortably by this time, not wanting to witness the embarrassing display, but not wanting to be rude and say anything either.
"Misao-chan, if you don't go to bed right now, you can do extra chores tomorrow and Omasu can have a day without any!" She slunk away to a hallway, motioning me to follow. She led me to a room where there was a futon in the corner and not much else. I didn't mind that at all- I just wondered how early the people of this house woke up, since I didn't want to sleep all day rudely without explanation, but I couldn't avoid falling asleep at dawn.
"Misao-dono, how early do the people of this household typically awake?"
"Very early, why?"
"I didn't want to be rude by sleeping all day, but I can't help it. I thought I should at least make an appearance in the morning if everyone's up early enough," I explained.
"We will be," she answered brightly and turned to go to her own room.
"Shigata ga nai," I mumbled, walking into my room to be quiet and not disturb anyone. I laid out the futon and got into it even though I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I calmed down as best I could this early and tried to meditate so I could pass the time silently. My mind wandered over all the reasons I shouldn't have been staying there- it was rude to sleep all day in human houses, it was too much temptation to be around all these humans without feeding, and above all, I didn't deserve to be there. I had to come up with an excuse to leave so I could do the wise thing I should have done in the first place and end my existence.
Maybe I didn't have to make an excuse. I had fed just a night ago, so I could do a few neat little tricks that would enable me to leave without anybody noticing until the next morning, when there would be no hope of following me. I could instantly appear anywhere, but where would I go? I was accustomed to walking, and even kind of liked it at times. I decided I'd just shift to another, less recognizable form.
I hadn't shifted shape in awhile, since I was usually too starved to do so. I looked into a mirror hanging on the wall, seeing my own youthful-looking visage. Every few years I liked to imagine what I'd look like at my age if I were still human and try to copy it. I was all too aware of that illusion just then, so I didn't even attempt looking my proper human age to cheer myself up. I hadn't shifted shape for vain reasons in awhile, because I didn't want to be any more like a real vampire than I had to be. Humans couldn't do that sort of thing, so I didn't either unless I had a reason, generally. I was in especially sour spirits that night, though, so I did something entirely the opposite of my usual attempt to look like my dead human self. I shifted shape just because I felt like it.
The black pigment spread down the length of each strand in my topknot and almost completely covered the ends when I heard the shoji open behind me. I turned and saw Misao standing in the doorway with the strangest look on her face. I made sure the black began to recede.
"What were you doing, Himura-san?"
"I... was just trying to, um..."
"Insecure about your hair, are you?" She smiled kind of mischievously. It was a little scary, actually.
"A little, maybe," I admitted. Curses.
"Well I think it's beautiful. You shouldn't change it; it's great how it is,"
"That's what my wife said," I looked down dejectedly.
"You were married? How old were you when you were changed? You only look about fourteen,"
"I was fourteen, but I wasn't married while I was alive. I'd been a vampire for four years," I explained.
"Vampires get married?"
"Not usually unless they change their spouses, but I didn't change Tomoe,"
"Your wife?"
"Hai,"
"It's a pretty name,"
"Hai," I nodded truthfully, too engulfed in memories to make a detailed response.
"Why didn't you change her? She would've been immortal with you,"
"The reason we first got to know each other very well was that she was willing to bleed for me. Only human blood works, so she had to be human to do that,"
"I see. She was willing to sacrifice herself?"
"We didn't know at first that it would eventually kill her. I think she realized it before I did, and before I knew, yes, she was willingly sacrificing herself,"
"She must have really loved you,"
I didn't say anything, though I knew it was true. I still couldn't believe I'd managed to kill the first person I'd cared about since my death. Somehow, the fact that she'd died willingly only made it worse. It was as if that was the final thing that meant she was a saint and I had never deserved her. She loved this undead, inhuman thing that had leeched the life right out of her from the start. I was that disgusting leech.
"Anyway, the reason I came," she said after awhile, "was because you need to feed," she held her wrist out toward me.
"Iye. Not on you,"
"On someone else?" She looked hurt and confused.
"Iye. Not on anyone,"
"Demo-"
"Iye, Misao-dono. I won't kill you like I did her,"
"I never said anything about dying. Just do what you have to do now and we'll work out a way to keep that from happening later," she cajoled. I wasn't convinced.
"It could take years to find a way to feed safely on a human, assuming there is a way. You'll be dead by then,"
"Fine," she said in kind of a 'you're making a big mistake, but if that's what you want,' voice. She then slit her wrist again and began bleeding onto the floor, watching it rather disinterestedly. She was trying to tempt me, I knew.
"Misao-dono, I'm not going to feed on you,"
"If you want to waste all this perfectly good blood that will come whether or not you decide to drink it, go ahead," she answered, never taking her eyes from the red waterfall. I watched, determined not to get near it.
"Are you just going to sit there and bleed all night?"
"M-hm, unless you start drinking soon,"
"If I do, you'll stop?'
"Hai,"
"All right. I'm not taking much, though," I scooted closer and began consuming the sustaining substance.
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wow, 2000 words without author notes! I hope i can make the chapters nice and long from now on, because i hate that feeling when i'm all excited about a new chapter in my favorite story and then it's so short i barely get into it before it's over. Oh and btw, while i'm thinking of it, sorry to anyone waiting for "heart." That story has been officially abandoned, at least for awhile. I may never go back to it, or if i wait long enough, maybe it will feel fresh again one day. Who knows?
The Great Monk Grl: thanks! No need to apologize for being late reviewing- reviews are yours to give as you choose!
Unique-starfish: thanks, and i will update soon! Everybody was expecting kaoru on that part- i threw a curveball! On your example, i thought of aoshi as well, but it fits enishi, too. Annoying how ppl want you to guess whom they're talking about, isn't it? Glad you appreciate my IC-ness... the OOC really bothers me.
PraiseDivineMercy: there is only one person who will recognize him, but you'll have to wait for that. I like your fics, especially 'Innocence'- "you have yellow eyes... my cat has yellow eyes" lol. So, the suspense is killing you? Woohoo! And i did more editing like you said, but i didn't change enough to merit rereading the chapters.
Subaiku85: no, actually, i don't know who you are, but i appreciate the reviews! How he got changed will come later. Actually, about the attacking armed ppl he isn't assigned to kill, he told tomoe that he would never kill an unarmed person in the oav's and/or the manga. He isn't a scumbag, he's hungry. Besides, she was about to die anyway. It's not really meant to be funny, though i am unable to write completely without humor... and yes, it is angst (see prologue). Every single person who mentioned anything about it was expecting kaoru in that part, don't feel bad. Misao is from the Kyoto arc. This story will hopefully give you a good idea of her personality, but the events are not all really from the manga, obviously.
Yuhi-thedoerofevildeeds: i'm trying to make chapters longer.
Houndingwolf: thanks for the explanation!