Couple's Therapy
Pointless tales of pairing off
Disclaimer:
All non original concepts are not mine to do with as I please. They belongs to their respective owners, so please don't sue me!
--------------------
SPECIAL CASES: Cologne and... (not yet), OR Little Death Before Dishonor
Part Two: Motives
--------------------
This was a matter for steel.
Tatewaki Kuno took the Kuno family sword down from its place of honor on the wall. Yes, this time no mere wooden sword would be sufficient.
The time for his final confrontation with Ranma Saotome drew near.
"Is the packing complete, Sasuke?" he asked of his servant.
"Yes, master Kuno," Sasuke said, pointing to the full pack. "Are you certain you want me to stay behind?"
Kuno drew the blade partway out of its sheath. Nabiki had nearly slit her wrists with this very sword. "I am certain. I require you to keep watch over my fiancee while I am away. She is a cunning and dangerous woman, and there is no telling what plans she will hatch in my absence."
Nabiki had played her game cleverly indeed, trapping him in her web before he even realized what was happening. To think, for a moment he had actually believed her! The very idea that he could bring such violence to a woman was laughable, of course, but in that terrifying moment it had seemed real. In a moment of panic he had foolishly given his pledge to her. Now honor demanded he keep it.
Nabiki's insane love for him had led her to this, led her to work this stratagem against him. But if she believed that her victory was total, she would soon learn otherwise!
But first there was the matter at hand. First he must bring an end to the vile Saotome.
He gazed into the reflection in the blade. "Nabiki has foiled my pure intentions for Akane and the pig tailed girl. I shall never take either's hand in marriage. But Saotome, enslaver of women, I will not forgive your crimes. I will bring you to the justice you deserve, and I shall free them from your terrible grasp. This I swear!"
"Such a noble sentiment, brother dear," he heard a voice say. He turned to see Kodachi enter the room, followed by that man that had been staying in the household at her request. What was his name? Taro.
"Is not the weather too warm for a scarf?" Kuno asked. Kodachi wore a satin scarf around her neck.
"I have found the day quite chilly," Kodachi said a little defensively. "I hope you don't expect to travel alone on such a perilous journey."
"I shall travel in the company of Akane Tendo and several others," Kuno replied. "Though I shant need their assistance to settle matters with Ranma Saotome."
"You will travel with me, as well, dear brother," Kodachi said. "I have my own interest in this matter."
Kuno frowned. "I see," he said. Having Kodachi along was the last thing he wanted. His twisted sister still harbored feelings of affection for Ranma Saotome, and she might prove troublesome when it came time to destroy him. Still, there was little he could do about it. Kodachi was impossible to talk out of something she had set her mind to. "Will you be bringing along your new servant?" he asked.
Taro just crossed his arms and smirked.
"Taro shall accompany us, yes," Kodachi said.
"Very well," Kuno said. "We leave at first light."
*****
"What are you trying to pull here, Shampoo?" Ukyo asked.
They were in the Tendo training hall. Her and Shampoo (and the amazon elder) were sitting on the sidelines watching as Akane trained against Ryoga.
"Shampoo no try pull anything," Shampoo said. "Shampoo just here help Akane against great-grandmother."
"And she'll need all the help she can get," the elder said as she observed Akane fight. "The girl has a great deal of potential, but she is centuries away from being able to defeat the matriarch. Too emotional, too awkward, too inexperienced. Cologne will have no trouble dispatching her."
"She no need to beat great-grandmother," Shampoo pointed out. "She need only get Ranma away from her."
"That will not be as easy as it seems, child," the elder said. "The matriarch is not likely to give up her prize without a fight. And you will be of no help in your condition. Do you believe this misfit gang of outsiders you have assembled can defeat the greatest of our tribe?"
"Shampoo no worried," Shampoo said.
"You'd be surprised what us outsiders are capable of," Ukyo agreed. "I'm just not sure how we're going to find Cologne now."
"Shampoo know of some places in mountains where great-grandmother go for training," Shampoo said. "Is somewhere to start at least."
Ukyo was silent for a moment. "And when we find them again," she finally said, "it's every girl for herself, right?"
Shampoo looked at Ukyo, surprised. "What you mean?"
"You know what I mean, Shampoo," Ukyo said. "We both want the same thing."
Shampoo smiled. "Ukyo," she said. "You think maybe we waste whole bunch of life on stupid thing?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ukyo wanted to know.
"Shampoo have revelation little while ago. No can convince Ranma to love Shampoo. Boy is too stupid to know what good for him. Ranma love Akane and nothing we can do about it. Is stupid and waste time to try."
"You can't be serious," Ukyo said, disbelieving.
"It hurt little bit inside, but is true," Shampoo continued. "Shampoo come to understand there is many fish in sea. Maybe time Shampoo get on with life, look for other kind happiness. Who need Ranma?"
Ukyo didn't answer.
"Ranma is no good anyway," Shampoo continued. "Is sneaky and spineless. He no appreciate what he has. He no even make good husband. Ranma and violent Akane deserve each other."
"You know," Ukyo said quietly, "you might be right."
Shampoo nodded.
"Maybe I should think about moving on with my life too," Ukyo continued. "Ran-chan's so weak willed and wishy washy, maybe he's no good for me either. If he were any real man he would have just picked a fiancee and been done with it, right? Maybe I need something else in my life."
"Knowing when give up is part of growing up," Shampoo said in agreement.
"LIKE I'D REALLY FALL FOR THAT!" Ukyo snapped suddenly. "Nice try, Shampoo, but did you really think you could talk me into giving up Ran-chan? Do you really think I'm just going to turn aside and let you snatch him out from under me?"
"That really not what Shampoo have in mind," Shampoo said.
"I know exactly what you have in mind Shampoo," Ukyo said. "It isn't going to work. Ran-chan is mine, you understand?"
Shampoo didn't respond right away. Instead she got to her feet.
"Shampoo have things to do," she said. "No have time for this."
And with that she walked out.
"You won't beat me, Shampoo," Ukyo said as she watched her go. "Not you, not your grandmother, and not Akane. This time I've got the edge."
*****
"I think we can stop now, Akane," Ryoga said. "You've improved a great deal."
"Thank you," Akane said. "Ranma has been training me."
Ryoga felt something squeeze his heart. He should have known.
"So... things are going well between you two?" he asked. What was he doing here? What the hell was he thinking?
"I... I guess so," Akane said.
"I'm happy for you," Ryoga said. Yeah, happy, that was it. He was a whole dark endless abyss of happiness.
"I've been such a fool," Akane said, more to herself. "All those times I was angry with him, all those hurtful things I said... I may never get a chance to tell him how sorry I am..."
She looked like she was about to cry.
"We'll find him, Akane," Ryoga said. Oh god what was he doing here?! What part in this did he have? This wasn't his fight, why should he care if Ranma never came back at all?
"I hope so," Akane said. "I... I don't think I could bear it if I lost him..."
Damnit damnit damnit! What seemed like an eternity ago, Ryoga had told himself that he understood that Akane would never love him, that he would be nothing more than just a friend, or worse, a pet, to her. He told himself he could learn to accept that, that he could get on with his life.
He was learning now that moving on wasn't as easy as he thought. Try as he might he couldn't banish what he was feeling. Part of him was happy that Ranma was gone. Part of him hated Akane right now because she would never love him the way he loved her.
It sickened him.
Why couldn't he just leave? Why couldn't he just put it all behind him? Why had he agreed to help her at all?
Because she needed his help.
Because, in the end, no matter what he'd be there for her. He'd do whatever he could to help her, even though being next to her was tearing him up inside. It was all he could do.
*****
"So you're not ready to give up on him yet," Taro asked as he set his bag down next to hers. They had finished packing and were now ready to leave.
He smiled ever so slightly as Kodachi's hand almost unconsciously moved up to her throat. He knew that the scarf she wore hid the bruises Ranma had left on her neck.
"All of this is her fault," Kodachi said. "We have a long and dangerous trip ahead of us, and accidents do happen..."
"Didn't Ranma promise to kill you if anything happened to Akane?" Taro asked.
"He cannot hold me responsible if she were to suffer an accident," Kodachi said. "It would be tragic, of course, but I would be blameless."
"I'm sure," Taro said. "And I'm sure Ranma will be happy to take your word for it. Just like he did with that unfortunate spider incident."
Kodachi gave him a dark look, and his smile grew.
They'd met not too long ago. Taro had come back to Nerima to once again try to force Happosai to change his name. But instead, he had met Kodachi.
It was love at first sight.
He hadn't been subtle about it. He'd told her straight away how he felt. She'd rejected him, of course, but he knew she was holding something back. With every day they spent in each other's company, a little more of her guard was lost. Every day he was more and more sure that she felt the same feelings for him that he felt for her.
One night she had offered him his chance. She told him that she would not follow her brother's example by pining away for two loves. If Taro wanted her heart, he would have to fight for it. He must prove himself more worthy of her love than Ranma. If he could do that, then she would accept his offer of love.
Of course it wouldn't be easy. He was no fool. He saw the kind of power Saotome had over her, and he knew very well what kind of person he was dealing with. Overcoming what he had to overcome was going to take some very hard, very careful work.
No matter. He wasn't about to give up yet.
*****
"You help Shampoo?" Shampoo asked. "It be worth your while."
Happosai looked up from his ironing. "What do you mean?" he asked. Shampoo had come into his room and asked for his help in rescuing Ranma. He wasn't completely without a heart (no, really), but since Ranma apparently didn't change into a girl anymore, his interest in helping the boy had waned considerably. "What's in it for me?"
What was Shampoo going to offer him, he wondered. Free lunches at the cafe? She couldn't do that, the Cat Cafe didn't exist anymore.
Shampoo smiled in a way that made Happosai excited. No... she couldn't possibly offer...
She leaned over and whispered in his ear.
Happosai went into system overload as she explained. No, she wasn't offering lingerie! She was offering... she was offering... she was offering so much more!
"You mean it?" he demanded in a fearful, hopeful whisper.
"Shampoo mean every word," Shampoo said with a smile. "Is amazon law after all."
"I'll do it!" he cried. "For this I'll storm the gates of hell itself!"
*****
It was done. Nine had gathered to embark on the perilous journey to find Ranma Saotome. All with the singular purpose of...
Okay, forget that part. Most everyone was out for themselves. What else is new?
But just what had happened to Ranma? Where was he? What was he doing?
*****
He was running, a canteen of water in his hand, a swordsman and someone... else running next to him.
He had to hurry. He had to bring her the water before it was too late.
He ran and ran, but the house was so far away... It didn't seem like he'd ever get there...
Still he ran. He had to get there. He had to get there quickly. She'll die without the water.
There it was, the house! It was in sight, so close!
He kept running.
He burst through the door.
She lay there on her bed, her eyes half closed, her skin pale. As he ran to her, her eyes closed and she went limp.
No, no, NO! He poured the water of life from the canteen into her mouth, but it didn't help. It couldn't help. He was too late. She was gone.
The other held her in his arms, crying out her name and pleading for her to come back, crying to the heavens to bring her back to him. But the heavens did not respond.
And Ranma felt pain, and anguish, because the girl he loved was dead.
*****
Ranma awoke with a start, drenched with sweat.
"Oh man," he said. "What the heck was that?"
He looked around at the unfamiliar tent he was in. A better question, he realized, might be where the heck was he?
He tried to think back. The last thing he remembered he was in China. He and pops were on their way to some kind of martial arts training ground. How did he end up here?
He tried to scratch his head and realized his left arm was in a cast. How did that happen?
Just what was going on here?
Images from the dream flashed through his mind.
Who was that girl, he wondered. Something about that thought shot a sharp pain through his skull, so he tried not to think about her.
What was he doing here? That seemed to be a less painful question. Where was pops?
Where was here?
What was going on here?
*****
Author's notes:
Disappointed by another kinda short chapter? Well...
The next chapter is the big one, we're talking climax of the story here. The epic battle between Cologne and the gang from Nerima. It's gonna be great (I promise ;) ) so don't miss it!
Now, in response to questions of readers
1) Ex-Akane fan? Nope. I am a fan of all of the main characters, and Akane in particular holds a special place in my heart (I find her the easiest character to relate to). I do enjoy it when she suffers, but the reasons for that are not what you might expect. And that's all I'm gonna say about that for now.
2) I meant to answer this one a long time ago, but somehow I just forgot about it. Shampoo and Mousse's chapter (chapter six... I think... for those keeping score) was not consciously inspired by Buffy and Spike's relationship in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Actually, it wasn't until after I wrote it that I noticed the similarity. I call it a coincidence.
Pointless tales of pairing off
Disclaimer:
All non original concepts are not mine to do with as I please. They belongs to their respective owners, so please don't sue me!
--------------------
SPECIAL CASES: Cologne and... (not yet), OR Little Death Before Dishonor
Part Two: Motives
--------------------
This was a matter for steel.
Tatewaki Kuno took the Kuno family sword down from its place of honor on the wall. Yes, this time no mere wooden sword would be sufficient.
The time for his final confrontation with Ranma Saotome drew near.
"Is the packing complete, Sasuke?" he asked of his servant.
"Yes, master Kuno," Sasuke said, pointing to the full pack. "Are you certain you want me to stay behind?"
Kuno drew the blade partway out of its sheath. Nabiki had nearly slit her wrists with this very sword. "I am certain. I require you to keep watch over my fiancee while I am away. She is a cunning and dangerous woman, and there is no telling what plans she will hatch in my absence."
Nabiki had played her game cleverly indeed, trapping him in her web before he even realized what was happening. To think, for a moment he had actually believed her! The very idea that he could bring such violence to a woman was laughable, of course, but in that terrifying moment it had seemed real. In a moment of panic he had foolishly given his pledge to her. Now honor demanded he keep it.
Nabiki's insane love for him had led her to this, led her to work this stratagem against him. But if she believed that her victory was total, she would soon learn otherwise!
But first there was the matter at hand. First he must bring an end to the vile Saotome.
He gazed into the reflection in the blade. "Nabiki has foiled my pure intentions for Akane and the pig tailed girl. I shall never take either's hand in marriage. But Saotome, enslaver of women, I will not forgive your crimes. I will bring you to the justice you deserve, and I shall free them from your terrible grasp. This I swear!"
"Such a noble sentiment, brother dear," he heard a voice say. He turned to see Kodachi enter the room, followed by that man that had been staying in the household at her request. What was his name? Taro.
"Is not the weather too warm for a scarf?" Kuno asked. Kodachi wore a satin scarf around her neck.
"I have found the day quite chilly," Kodachi said a little defensively. "I hope you don't expect to travel alone on such a perilous journey."
"I shall travel in the company of Akane Tendo and several others," Kuno replied. "Though I shant need their assistance to settle matters with Ranma Saotome."
"You will travel with me, as well, dear brother," Kodachi said. "I have my own interest in this matter."
Kuno frowned. "I see," he said. Having Kodachi along was the last thing he wanted. His twisted sister still harbored feelings of affection for Ranma Saotome, and she might prove troublesome when it came time to destroy him. Still, there was little he could do about it. Kodachi was impossible to talk out of something she had set her mind to. "Will you be bringing along your new servant?" he asked.
Taro just crossed his arms and smirked.
"Taro shall accompany us, yes," Kodachi said.
"Very well," Kuno said. "We leave at first light."
*****
"What are you trying to pull here, Shampoo?" Ukyo asked.
They were in the Tendo training hall. Her and Shampoo (and the amazon elder) were sitting on the sidelines watching as Akane trained against Ryoga.
"Shampoo no try pull anything," Shampoo said. "Shampoo just here help Akane against great-grandmother."
"And she'll need all the help she can get," the elder said as she observed Akane fight. "The girl has a great deal of potential, but she is centuries away from being able to defeat the matriarch. Too emotional, too awkward, too inexperienced. Cologne will have no trouble dispatching her."
"She no need to beat great-grandmother," Shampoo pointed out. "She need only get Ranma away from her."
"That will not be as easy as it seems, child," the elder said. "The matriarch is not likely to give up her prize without a fight. And you will be of no help in your condition. Do you believe this misfit gang of outsiders you have assembled can defeat the greatest of our tribe?"
"Shampoo no worried," Shampoo said.
"You'd be surprised what us outsiders are capable of," Ukyo agreed. "I'm just not sure how we're going to find Cologne now."
"Shampoo know of some places in mountains where great-grandmother go for training," Shampoo said. "Is somewhere to start at least."
Ukyo was silent for a moment. "And when we find them again," she finally said, "it's every girl for herself, right?"
Shampoo looked at Ukyo, surprised. "What you mean?"
"You know what I mean, Shampoo," Ukyo said. "We both want the same thing."
Shampoo smiled. "Ukyo," she said. "You think maybe we waste whole bunch of life on stupid thing?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ukyo wanted to know.
"Shampoo have revelation little while ago. No can convince Ranma to love Shampoo. Boy is too stupid to know what good for him. Ranma love Akane and nothing we can do about it. Is stupid and waste time to try."
"You can't be serious," Ukyo said, disbelieving.
"It hurt little bit inside, but is true," Shampoo continued. "Shampoo come to understand there is many fish in sea. Maybe time Shampoo get on with life, look for other kind happiness. Who need Ranma?"
Ukyo didn't answer.
"Ranma is no good anyway," Shampoo continued. "Is sneaky and spineless. He no appreciate what he has. He no even make good husband. Ranma and violent Akane deserve each other."
"You know," Ukyo said quietly, "you might be right."
Shampoo nodded.
"Maybe I should think about moving on with my life too," Ukyo continued. "Ran-chan's so weak willed and wishy washy, maybe he's no good for me either. If he were any real man he would have just picked a fiancee and been done with it, right? Maybe I need something else in my life."
"Knowing when give up is part of growing up," Shampoo said in agreement.
"LIKE I'D REALLY FALL FOR THAT!" Ukyo snapped suddenly. "Nice try, Shampoo, but did you really think you could talk me into giving up Ran-chan? Do you really think I'm just going to turn aside and let you snatch him out from under me?"
"That really not what Shampoo have in mind," Shampoo said.
"I know exactly what you have in mind Shampoo," Ukyo said. "It isn't going to work. Ran-chan is mine, you understand?"
Shampoo didn't respond right away. Instead she got to her feet.
"Shampoo have things to do," she said. "No have time for this."
And with that she walked out.
"You won't beat me, Shampoo," Ukyo said as she watched her go. "Not you, not your grandmother, and not Akane. This time I've got the edge."
*****
"I think we can stop now, Akane," Ryoga said. "You've improved a great deal."
"Thank you," Akane said. "Ranma has been training me."
Ryoga felt something squeeze his heart. He should have known.
"So... things are going well between you two?" he asked. What was he doing here? What the hell was he thinking?
"I... I guess so," Akane said.
"I'm happy for you," Ryoga said. Yeah, happy, that was it. He was a whole dark endless abyss of happiness.
"I've been such a fool," Akane said, more to herself. "All those times I was angry with him, all those hurtful things I said... I may never get a chance to tell him how sorry I am..."
She looked like she was about to cry.
"We'll find him, Akane," Ryoga said. Oh god what was he doing here?! What part in this did he have? This wasn't his fight, why should he care if Ranma never came back at all?
"I hope so," Akane said. "I... I don't think I could bear it if I lost him..."
Damnit damnit damnit! What seemed like an eternity ago, Ryoga had told himself that he understood that Akane would never love him, that he would be nothing more than just a friend, or worse, a pet, to her. He told himself he could learn to accept that, that he could get on with his life.
He was learning now that moving on wasn't as easy as he thought. Try as he might he couldn't banish what he was feeling. Part of him was happy that Ranma was gone. Part of him hated Akane right now because she would never love him the way he loved her.
It sickened him.
Why couldn't he just leave? Why couldn't he just put it all behind him? Why had he agreed to help her at all?
Because she needed his help.
Because, in the end, no matter what he'd be there for her. He'd do whatever he could to help her, even though being next to her was tearing him up inside. It was all he could do.
*****
"So you're not ready to give up on him yet," Taro asked as he set his bag down next to hers. They had finished packing and were now ready to leave.
He smiled ever so slightly as Kodachi's hand almost unconsciously moved up to her throat. He knew that the scarf she wore hid the bruises Ranma had left on her neck.
"All of this is her fault," Kodachi said. "We have a long and dangerous trip ahead of us, and accidents do happen..."
"Didn't Ranma promise to kill you if anything happened to Akane?" Taro asked.
"He cannot hold me responsible if she were to suffer an accident," Kodachi said. "It would be tragic, of course, but I would be blameless."
"I'm sure," Taro said. "And I'm sure Ranma will be happy to take your word for it. Just like he did with that unfortunate spider incident."
Kodachi gave him a dark look, and his smile grew.
They'd met not too long ago. Taro had come back to Nerima to once again try to force Happosai to change his name. But instead, he had met Kodachi.
It was love at first sight.
He hadn't been subtle about it. He'd told her straight away how he felt. She'd rejected him, of course, but he knew she was holding something back. With every day they spent in each other's company, a little more of her guard was lost. Every day he was more and more sure that she felt the same feelings for him that he felt for her.
One night she had offered him his chance. She told him that she would not follow her brother's example by pining away for two loves. If Taro wanted her heart, he would have to fight for it. He must prove himself more worthy of her love than Ranma. If he could do that, then she would accept his offer of love.
Of course it wouldn't be easy. He was no fool. He saw the kind of power Saotome had over her, and he knew very well what kind of person he was dealing with. Overcoming what he had to overcome was going to take some very hard, very careful work.
No matter. He wasn't about to give up yet.
*****
"You help Shampoo?" Shampoo asked. "It be worth your while."
Happosai looked up from his ironing. "What do you mean?" he asked. Shampoo had come into his room and asked for his help in rescuing Ranma. He wasn't completely without a heart (no, really), but since Ranma apparently didn't change into a girl anymore, his interest in helping the boy had waned considerably. "What's in it for me?"
What was Shampoo going to offer him, he wondered. Free lunches at the cafe? She couldn't do that, the Cat Cafe didn't exist anymore.
Shampoo smiled in a way that made Happosai excited. No... she couldn't possibly offer...
She leaned over and whispered in his ear.
Happosai went into system overload as she explained. No, she wasn't offering lingerie! She was offering... she was offering... she was offering so much more!
"You mean it?" he demanded in a fearful, hopeful whisper.
"Shampoo mean every word," Shampoo said with a smile. "Is amazon law after all."
"I'll do it!" he cried. "For this I'll storm the gates of hell itself!"
*****
It was done. Nine had gathered to embark on the perilous journey to find Ranma Saotome. All with the singular purpose of...
Okay, forget that part. Most everyone was out for themselves. What else is new?
But just what had happened to Ranma? Where was he? What was he doing?
*****
He was running, a canteen of water in his hand, a swordsman and someone... else running next to him.
He had to hurry. He had to bring her the water before it was too late.
He ran and ran, but the house was so far away... It didn't seem like he'd ever get there...
Still he ran. He had to get there. He had to get there quickly. She'll die without the water.
There it was, the house! It was in sight, so close!
He kept running.
He burst through the door.
She lay there on her bed, her eyes half closed, her skin pale. As he ran to her, her eyes closed and she went limp.
No, no, NO! He poured the water of life from the canteen into her mouth, but it didn't help. It couldn't help. He was too late. She was gone.
The other held her in his arms, crying out her name and pleading for her to come back, crying to the heavens to bring her back to him. But the heavens did not respond.
And Ranma felt pain, and anguish, because the girl he loved was dead.
*****
Ranma awoke with a start, drenched with sweat.
"Oh man," he said. "What the heck was that?"
He looked around at the unfamiliar tent he was in. A better question, he realized, might be where the heck was he?
He tried to think back. The last thing he remembered he was in China. He and pops were on their way to some kind of martial arts training ground. How did he end up here?
He tried to scratch his head and realized his left arm was in a cast. How did that happen?
Just what was going on here?
Images from the dream flashed through his mind.
Who was that girl, he wondered. Something about that thought shot a sharp pain through his skull, so he tried not to think about her.
What was he doing here? That seemed to be a less painful question. Where was pops?
Where was here?
What was going on here?
*****
Author's notes:
Disappointed by another kinda short chapter? Well...
The next chapter is the big one, we're talking climax of the story here. The epic battle between Cologne and the gang from Nerima. It's gonna be great (I promise ;) ) so don't miss it!
Now, in response to questions of readers
1) Ex-Akane fan? Nope. I am a fan of all of the main characters, and Akane in particular holds a special place in my heart (I find her the easiest character to relate to). I do enjoy it when she suffers, but the reasons for that are not what you might expect. And that's all I'm gonna say about that for now.
2) I meant to answer this one a long time ago, but somehow I just forgot about it. Shampoo and Mousse's chapter (chapter six... I think... for those keeping score) was not consciously inspired by Buffy and Spike's relationship in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Actually, it wasn't until after I wrote it that I noticed the similarity. I call it a coincidence.