The Sacred Night, Chapter 24
I didn't know if I'd scared this Takeda person enough to make him stay away from Misao or if he would assemble a larger and theoretically better force and try again. We knew about him already, so there would be no point in waiting around for Misao to wander outside without us again. He should have known that wasn't going to happen. Perhaps, though, it would be enough for him if we never allowed her out of our sight again for fear of him. Misao's and Aoshi's marriage would be ruined, and Misao would be miserable the rest of her life with or without Aoshi.
I was just in the midst of wondering whether that was what he wanted us to do and if he would attack us wherever Misao happened to be at his chosen time when the clock struck four. It would be light in less than two hours and I had yet to feed. I still had not come to a decision about Megumi, so I hadn't said anything to her. She still expected me to feed on her, and I had been doing so. I felt suspended, like I could probably never really figure out what I thought was right in this case, but had to keep thinking about it anyway.
I knew Kaoru didn't mind. Really, she did mind, but she told me she didn't. She was saddened by the situation, but felt it was necessary and didn't complain. She would certainly feel better if I didn't feed on Megumi, but there was still the reason I had begun doing so in the first place. It would be dangerous for me to feed on Kaoru even once she was better if I was starved. I supposed another donor could be found in the meantime, but I was already used to Megumi and doubted I would adjust well to a third person. Besides, feeding had been special to me since I married Kaoru, and I didn't want to involve any more people in it than necessary. I would feel worse having a third human to feed on than I had when I got a second.
Many vampires didn't even have the luxury of feeding exclusively on one person, much less their own spouses. If both the husband and wife were vampires, sometimes they would feed on one another, but they couldn't survive on it. They had to feed on humans whether they or their spouses liked it or not. Most vampires didn't marry and fed on different humans every night, which was their choice, but still wasn't very fulfilling, I knew. Some of them were single and still fed on the same human all of the time, but were not romantically involved with the humans, or at least not at the start. I had married twice, feeding exclusively on my wife each time, but in between the two, I had fed only when I was too starved to keep myself away from whatever human happened to be closest, and then there had been Misao.
It was difficult to tell if, given time, my relationship with Tomoe would have become as close as my relationship with Kaoru was. The years we had known and loved each other had allowed us to become so intimate that, while I could predict her actions from the beginning, now she could predict mine. I knew things about her that I'd never known about Tomoe. What was her favorite flower to pick in the spring? What made her happiest? I didn't know, and yet I knew we had loved each other as much. Either Kaoru or I would be willing to die for the other, just as she had.
Many people knew who I had been before I met Tomoe, and a few people knew who I was after, but very few knew why I had changed. I wondered if Megumi would like to hear the story, since she took such interest in my change. It might help her if I told her, since she claimed to have had similar experiences with trying to repair wrongs. Next time she asked, I would be open to telling her, but I didn't want to bring it up. It would hurt to tell, as it had hurt when I told Kaoru, Sano, Aoshi, and Misao, but if it would help her, I would tell her everything.
I heard her begin to come up the stairs to my house and knew she would be entering soon, ready to be fed on after she checked on Kaoru. I wondered what dream I should give her when I fed. I could use it to tell my story if she asked about it. She did ask about it periodically, but I usually evaded the question pretty well. Tonight I wouldn't.
She came in using Kaoru's key, since Kaoru couldn't leave anyway, though she was beginning to stand and walk with my help. She took off her shoes and turned to lock the door behind her, which I didn't think was necessary, but it made Kaoru feel better to keep it locked. All the locks in the world couldn't keep a vampire in or out, and a human we didn't know would never come into our house uninvited unless he or she intended to steal something, and there wasn't much around to steal with only one income normally and zero now. Kaoru was receiving a meager long-term illness benefit while off work, and that mainly covered hers and Megumi's food.
Megumi came back to the dimly lit living room after checking Kaoru's vital signs and making whatever adjustments she thought necessary. She waited for me to make room for her on the couch and lay down next to me, looking at me as if she waned to say something, but paused for some reason. I waited to see if she would speak, and eventually she did.
"Ken-san, will you tell me what caused you to change so much someday? I know you're not ready now, but someday?"
"Actually, Megumi-dono, I was just thinking about that. Would you like to hear some of the story while I feed?"
"Very much," she answered, and I began my tale in her mind.
I drank rabidly, consuming the ki of my prey, a nameless, faceless victim on a dateless, timeless night. I cast it aside and sat back, satisfied and full. I sensed another behind me and my mood soured. Perhaps this human had known that one. She would be sad…
"Vampire-san," she said, startling me. I sensed her curiosity and disgust, but had never had a human address me after seeing something like this. I turned to face her so she would know I was listening. "Do you have to kill every time?" My eyes narrowed.
"Yes," I answered and stood, turning away from her.
"Vampire-san, wait," she called, still much calmer than any human should be in her situation. Why wasn't she afraid of me? I turned impatiently again and waited for her to speak. "If a human were willing to donate blood, would you kill that one, too?"
I had to think about that. I had never had a human offer herself to me, or even speak to me as if I was not a monstrosity when she knew what I was. When they didn't know, they offered plenty, but the offer didn't stay open long after they found out just what they were seeking. "I don't see how it would make a difference. I need a certain amount, and it's too much for any human,"
"You couldn't take it over a longer period of time so the human could recuperate?" She didn't sound pleading. She was accusing me.
What was this lady trying to do? Even if a human was willing to let me do that, I didn't know if it would work. All this would accomplish was making me feel sorry for them, and then I couldn't live my own life properly. I wished she would stop talking.
"Come see me next time," she invited, pointing toward a dwelling I assumed was hers. I nodded and disappeared. It was getting close to dawn anyway. I found a nice, open spot where I knew the sun would find me quickly.
"Oh, Ken-san," she sighed when I finished. She laid her head on my shoulder and I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to offend her, but she was getting a little close… "I'm so sorry," she continued.
"Megumi-dono, you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't," I corrected, glad of the excuse to pull away from her without seeming rude.
"It must be so hard to be a vampire," I didn't answer. It was, but I didn't want to complain. I deserved any hardship it might bring on me, and Megumi didn't deserve to be burdened with it. "You don't have to be quiet about it, Ken-san. I know how it feels to regret things,"
"Megumi-dono, you are a nice woman. You haven't done anything so terrible. You have never killed anyone, ne?"
"Not with a weapon," she answered and stood, leaving me to wonder what that meant. Surely she hadn't actually killed someone, but what else could that statement be referring to? Maybe she had hurt someone emotionally and was speaking metaphorically. That had to be it- there was no way the kind doctor could have killed… wait. Perhaps she was referring to her job as a doctor. She had probably lost patients; anyone would after practicing medicine over one hundred years.
I didn't know how long she had, but I could sense that she was almost as old as I was, and assumed she had had the same career for most of her life. Perhaps she held herself responsible for her lost patients, but that was not the same as what I felt. It had been beyond her ability to save the patients, while I had willingly and knowingly killed countless humans without exerting any effort not to do so. I was beginning to feel sleepy, so I knew dawn would come shortly. I went to say good day to Kaoru before lying down.
"Good day," I smiled at her. She was sitting up in bed.
"Good day," she smiled back. I turned to go lie down on the couch as usual, but she called me back. "Stay here with me," she smoothed her hand over my side of the bed.
"I'm tired, Kaoru-dono, and you should sleep, too,"
"I know," she said, looking at me like I was missing something obvious.
"I can't sleep here, Kaoru-dono. I might…" actually, I couldn't think of anything dangerous I might do. She wasn't actually sick anymore, just weak, so there was no danger to me, though there probably wouldn't have been anyway. Vampires slept like the dead, which made a lot of sense if you thought about it, so I wouldn't move around and injure her. At least, I thought all vampires did, but I'd also thought no vampires dreamt. In any case, I slept that way, so there was no cause to worry. I had assumed there was a reason I shouldn't sleep in here during her illness, but I couldn't think of one right then. "All right, Kaoru-dono," I relented happily and lay down next to her. A finger of guilt tugged at my heart for acting so nonchalant after what I had just done, but I brushed it aside. "I can't wait until you're better," I whispered into her neck.
"Me either," she answered, threading her arms around me to pull herself closer. We stayed like that until the sun rose. We held each other pleasantly, she breathing slowly and I listening in the dark. I didn't move once; I didn't want to shatter the peace we had. I lost more and more consciousness as the room got brighter and Kaoru's face became more defined in the light. Eventually, I was completely unaware of the world and dreaming of the lake surrounded by fireflies.
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Man, Kenshin seems like a little player in this chapter, doesn't he? Three women in just 2000 words.
Cattibrie393: glad you like it. as far as what to write, it would be helpful if you told me specifically why you like it, and any negative comments you have are appreciated as well, for they help me improve in a way "this is good" simply cannot. this story is not really meant for "action," though there is the occasional bit, but there will be some soon, in case that's what you want.
Yuhi-thedoerofevildeeds: well, yes, i do like to update every time i'm online, but it's not so bad as it might seem, since i write awhile in advance. right now, i'm writing chapter 26, though you are only reading chapter 24. Kaoru will be better, but it will be a slow process.
Invader Zim: i'm very flattered, but confused. how do i do what? specify and i'll be glad to tell you! very cute… Kenshin should be yours… ha. i think everyone here knows he loves ME. lol. as to Kanryuu, he has a grudge against Aoshi, so he's taking it out on Misao.