A/N: Don't know season/episodenames...it's written before Jess and Rory get
together. Deans point of view. And yeah I know it sucks...
*R*e*v*i*e*w* please!
~~**~~
I don't want to lose her. I can't stand the thought that soon she'll be kissing someone else, loving someone, maybe even more than she loved me. Just thinking about her blue eyes looking so adoringly at someone else makes me sick.
I try to do everything to keep her with me. But it isn't enough. Everytime we set foot in that diner I feel her eyes scanning the room for him. Just a faint blush is enough for me to notice that he's there...staring at her. She's staring back and she thinks I don't notice her small lies. That she was craving for a burger...that she wanted coffee. Or that she was just talking to him about some book she knows I'm not interested in.
I try so hard to fit in her world but I always fail. Somehow I just don't have that connection with her that he has. They already knew everything about eachother before the first time they talked. They have the same interests, and sometimes I feel like they're laughing at me cause I'm just not like them.
I'm not interested in books, I never was. I rather spend my time with a movie or playing basketball than wrestling through some thick novel written by a medieval author in language I can hardly recognize as English.
I still remember how we met. How she looked at me and I couldn't help but falling in love with her. I probably sounded like a creep when I told her I had been watching her, but I had. I knew that I wanted that girl and I would do everything I was capable of to make her happy.
And at first I did. I made her happy. We used to go out, spend time together and the first time she kissed she thanked me. Not exactly the response I had been expecting but it was sweet in her own way.
But after a while things just didn't work out anymore. I tried so hard. I built her a car...did everything for just a smile. I hung out with her mom, knowing that if Lorelai liked me Rory would probably think better of me too. I never pushed her into things she wasn't ready for, eventhough sometimes it was so hard not to sleep with her.
I did everything to make her happy. But I just wasn't enough. And now he is there and he is. He's making her happier than I ever have and I know I have to let her go. I just want her to be happy and if that's with him...then...
But part of me tells me to fight. Part of me just doesn't want to listen to that little voice in my head that tells me that maybe she doesn't feel the same love I feel. Maybe she doesn't love me as much as I love her. Cause if she did, why would the second interesting guy that comes around makes me lose her?
I'm desperate to make it work. Desperate to regain her love. So I accept her little lies and pretend not to notice the truth. I am still her first love and her boyfriend and I know that that means something in Rory Gilmore's book. I just hope it is enough.
*R*e*v*i*e*w* please!
~~**~~
I don't want to lose her. I can't stand the thought that soon she'll be kissing someone else, loving someone, maybe even more than she loved me. Just thinking about her blue eyes looking so adoringly at someone else makes me sick.
I try to do everything to keep her with me. But it isn't enough. Everytime we set foot in that diner I feel her eyes scanning the room for him. Just a faint blush is enough for me to notice that he's there...staring at her. She's staring back and she thinks I don't notice her small lies. That she was craving for a burger...that she wanted coffee. Or that she was just talking to him about some book she knows I'm not interested in.
I try so hard to fit in her world but I always fail. Somehow I just don't have that connection with her that he has. They already knew everything about eachother before the first time they talked. They have the same interests, and sometimes I feel like they're laughing at me cause I'm just not like them.
I'm not interested in books, I never was. I rather spend my time with a movie or playing basketball than wrestling through some thick novel written by a medieval author in language I can hardly recognize as English.
I still remember how we met. How she looked at me and I couldn't help but falling in love with her. I probably sounded like a creep when I told her I had been watching her, but I had. I knew that I wanted that girl and I would do everything I was capable of to make her happy.
And at first I did. I made her happy. We used to go out, spend time together and the first time she kissed she thanked me. Not exactly the response I had been expecting but it was sweet in her own way.
But after a while things just didn't work out anymore. I tried so hard. I built her a car...did everything for just a smile. I hung out with her mom, knowing that if Lorelai liked me Rory would probably think better of me too. I never pushed her into things she wasn't ready for, eventhough sometimes it was so hard not to sleep with her.
I did everything to make her happy. But I just wasn't enough. And now he is there and he is. He's making her happier than I ever have and I know I have to let her go. I just want her to be happy and if that's with him...then...
But part of me tells me to fight. Part of me just doesn't want to listen to that little voice in my head that tells me that maybe she doesn't feel the same love I feel. Maybe she doesn't love me as much as I love her. Cause if she did, why would the second interesting guy that comes around makes me lose her?
I'm desperate to make it work. Desperate to regain her love. So I accept her little lies and pretend not to notice the truth. I am still her first love and her boyfriend and I know that that means something in Rory Gilmore's book. I just hope it is enough.