Somewhere in Taiwan, The Powers That Be sat in a reclining chair, sipping some clear stuff he had found in the fridge. He didn't know why, but the world was suddenly becoming funny and tilty. He knew the clear liquid wasn't water; it smelled a little strange. He went back to the refrigerator for some more and found the bottle. Picking it up, and summoning all the consciousness he had left, he read the label.

"Hmmm, so that's what it is." He wandered back to his chair. The bottle of miscellaneous clear fluid had been identified- the label read "Absolut Vodka."

[note: AV does not belong to us, (tho' Rose wishes it did), and we claim no rights to it and blah blah, you know the drill. Nor do we promote the drinking of liquor in any way, shape, or form- Stay Safe; Don't Drink]

After passing out on the couch and sleeping for an hour, TPTB woke to see that he had a body! Lo and behold, his usually formless self had been blessed with a vessel in which to live for a time. He wanted to see whether it was any good, but found, to his horror, that HE HAD NO ARMS! Using his "spirit eyes", he looked at himself and spotted a green warty sort of thing sitting on a counter; it was he.

TPTB: now, I'm normally not very picky, but green with WARTS? Ya gotta be kiddin' me, you could have done better!

Just then, a calloused, stubby-fingered hand scooped up the cucumber and brought it over to a plastic container.

TPTB: Hey! What're you doing with my body?

The owner of the hand didn't hear him.

Somewhere in Taiwan, a person had just pureed TPTB's body.

"Rose!" Tanja (the owner of the hand) called over the blaring of Spice World. "I need the eggs for the tuna salad!"

"Eh! EGGS! We have none, and it's raining, and I think someone just shot the Quikee Mart owner, so, erm, we're gonna have to go without the eggs." Rose replied from the recliner in the living room.

"Damn." Tanja muttered. She paused. "Rose...? Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I think the blender is screaming..."

Rose walked in, tucking her blue-streaked hair behind her ears. She looked over at the screaming blender and then at Tanja. "Yep, you're right, but blenders normally aren't evil. Hmmm... Wanna perform an exorcism?' she asked with a grin.

"It sounds like it's in pain." Tanja rapped on the lid and called, "Everything all right in there?"

TPTB stopped screaming to answer.

TPTB: WOULD I BE SCREAMING IF IT WERE? GET ME OUT OF HERE YOU OVERGROWN FLESH-BAGS!

Outside the blender, Rose shrugged. "Maybe it's broken... Or maybe," She switched off the lights and pulled a flashlight under her chin, "It's haaauuunted!" She giggled. "Or maybe it's just that the cucumber was partially frozen. Here, put the setting on liquefy." She pressed the button.

The machine shrieked and fell silent.

Rose shivered. "Do you feel death in here?"

Tanja stared at her companion and switched the blender off. Opening the lid, she asked, "Are you still alive in there?"

TPTB looked on from the spirit world, glaring at the two

TPTB: I will get you...I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!

Rose shrugged. "You were just imagining things, Tanja!" She walked back to her recliner.

Tanja shivered. "I hope so."