Yume/Hikari/Eternity/Destiny was not pleased. As she cuddled down with her
One True Love (Tasuki) she narrowed her eyes and began plotting how she
could overthrow the Sue Squad.
Except then, Tasuki rolled over and began snoring and OMG, he looked soooooooo kawaii! ****Fangirl squeal****.
Moving on.....
Nakago rubbed his temples and desperately wished that Tylenol had been invented. The Sue Squad was trying to decide the best course of action to take to wipe out the most Mary-Sues in the least amount of time and, not to anybody's surprise, they all had differing opinions.
"I say we summon a demon to inhabit the body of a young girl and..."
"We use the Ring!"
"That is illogical. We should work together to use our powers to further our cause."
"Sesshoumaru, I love your hair!"
"Touch my hair again and they won't find your remains."
"He who lives by sword, dies by the sword."
"I wouldn't use my sword to kill him."
"It applies to other weapons too."
In the end it was decided they would go around to the different universes and kill off whatever Mary-Sues they could find.
"I do not kill."
"Look at them as demons, they're not human."
"It's life Lord, but not as we know it."
It was decided that the first universe they would visit would be the Weiss Kreuz universe, otherwise known as the Knight Hunters universe, otherwise known as the White Cross universe, otherwise known as the Gluhen universe, otherwise known as the Red Cross with lots of blood but not a single blood drive in the whole series universe.
Mary-Sue wailed in anguish and her One True Love, Ken, stepped between her and the bullet and thus sacrificed his life to save hers.
Ok, so maybe he did that to get away from her but that's beside the point.
"Hold it right there Mary-Sue!"
Mary-Sue looked up and gasped. There were a bunch of hot men standing before her. And they were posing! As she ran up to them Brad Crawford pulled out his gun and shot her in the head. She died in a pool of her own angst and there was much rejoicing.
Wow. That didn't take much.
Sesshoumaru revived Ken with that ultra nifty sword of his and Jesus heard the confession of every named character in the series and forgave them their sins. Sadly, in doing so, there was no more need for angst, hence, less fans drooling over angsty pretty boys, ergo less merchandise.
Somewhere in Japan Takehito Koyasu wailed in anguish. He quickly rounded up Gackt and a few other J-rock stars and they went on to make an anime series called: Red Cross: The story of four pretty boys working at blood drive. There will be angst! And blood! But mostly angst!
Meanwhile, the Sue Squad went on to the Lord of the Rings Universe.
"Oh Legolas, I love your hair!"
"Nuriko, please shut up."
However, a grim surprise awaited our heroes in Lord of the Rings land. There was no Mary-Sue but something far worse......
Canon-Sue! Where Author Created Characters (ACC) acted like your average thirteen year old girl.
"Oh Gimli! Let's have a tea party. With crumpets!" The Sue-Squad stared in shock as Aragon pranced around in pink tutu while carrying a teapot.
Chiriko clung to Nakago. "Do we have to do this?"
"Yes." The Shogun answered. It should be noted that he was turning slightly green when he said it.
In the end it was Sesshoumaru that ended the Sue's existence. He was later seen filing his claws down in a feeble attempt to get rid of all the Sue- germs.
Yume/Hikari/Eternity/Destiny narrowed her eyes in anger as she watched all of this in her magic mirror. The Sue Squad would not attack her kingdom of Fushigi Yugi fanfiction yet, but they were coming closer. Meanwhile, she built up her power by forcing Tasuki to choose between her and Chichiri. He eventually chose them both in a heartfelt speech about how they were both dear to his heart and he wanted to sleep with each of them. That night, Mary-Sue was in the middle.
End.
Author's notes- That last line scared me too. This whole story has gotten weirder and weirder and I shudder to think about how it'll end.
Except then, Tasuki rolled over and began snoring and OMG, he looked soooooooo kawaii! ****Fangirl squeal****.
Moving on.....
Nakago rubbed his temples and desperately wished that Tylenol had been invented. The Sue Squad was trying to decide the best course of action to take to wipe out the most Mary-Sues in the least amount of time and, not to anybody's surprise, they all had differing opinions.
"I say we summon a demon to inhabit the body of a young girl and..."
"We use the Ring!"
"That is illogical. We should work together to use our powers to further our cause."
"Sesshoumaru, I love your hair!"
"Touch my hair again and they won't find your remains."
"He who lives by sword, dies by the sword."
"I wouldn't use my sword to kill him."
"It applies to other weapons too."
In the end it was decided they would go around to the different universes and kill off whatever Mary-Sues they could find.
"I do not kill."
"Look at them as demons, they're not human."
"It's life Lord, but not as we know it."
It was decided that the first universe they would visit would be the Weiss Kreuz universe, otherwise known as the Knight Hunters universe, otherwise known as the White Cross universe, otherwise known as the Gluhen universe, otherwise known as the Red Cross with lots of blood but not a single blood drive in the whole series universe.
Mary-Sue wailed in anguish and her One True Love, Ken, stepped between her and the bullet and thus sacrificed his life to save hers.
Ok, so maybe he did that to get away from her but that's beside the point.
"Hold it right there Mary-Sue!"
Mary-Sue looked up and gasped. There were a bunch of hot men standing before her. And they were posing! As she ran up to them Brad Crawford pulled out his gun and shot her in the head. She died in a pool of her own angst and there was much rejoicing.
Wow. That didn't take much.
Sesshoumaru revived Ken with that ultra nifty sword of his and Jesus heard the confession of every named character in the series and forgave them their sins. Sadly, in doing so, there was no more need for angst, hence, less fans drooling over angsty pretty boys, ergo less merchandise.
Somewhere in Japan Takehito Koyasu wailed in anguish. He quickly rounded up Gackt and a few other J-rock stars and they went on to make an anime series called: Red Cross: The story of four pretty boys working at blood drive. There will be angst! And blood! But mostly angst!
Meanwhile, the Sue Squad went on to the Lord of the Rings Universe.
"Oh Legolas, I love your hair!"
"Nuriko, please shut up."
However, a grim surprise awaited our heroes in Lord of the Rings land. There was no Mary-Sue but something far worse......
Canon-Sue! Where Author Created Characters (ACC) acted like your average thirteen year old girl.
"Oh Gimli! Let's have a tea party. With crumpets!" The Sue-Squad stared in shock as Aragon pranced around in pink tutu while carrying a teapot.
Chiriko clung to Nakago. "Do we have to do this?"
"Yes." The Shogun answered. It should be noted that he was turning slightly green when he said it.
In the end it was Sesshoumaru that ended the Sue's existence. He was later seen filing his claws down in a feeble attempt to get rid of all the Sue- germs.
Yume/Hikari/Eternity/Destiny narrowed her eyes in anger as she watched all of this in her magic mirror. The Sue Squad would not attack her kingdom of Fushigi Yugi fanfiction yet, but they were coming closer. Meanwhile, she built up her power by forcing Tasuki to choose between her and Chichiri. He eventually chose them both in a heartfelt speech about how they were both dear to his heart and he wanted to sleep with each of them. That night, Mary-Sue was in the middle.
End.
Author's notes- That last line scared me too. This whole story has gotten weirder and weirder and I shudder to think about how it'll end.