-THE GAMES OF THE GODS-
-Disclaimer:-
Crimson Starlight: For this chapter's disclaimer, we are handing things over to TFGWRW...
TFGWRW (aka, the Funky Glowing Water-Resitant Watch): Crimson Starlight owns nothing, except me, and the characters of Kari and Rachel. That includes her not owning 'Jesus' Brother Bob' by the Arrogant Worms, or the 'Spiderman' TV theme song.
Glorfindel: ...your watch is talking...
Crimson Starlight: I know. You have a problem with that?
Glorfindel: No, not at all... [shifty eyes]
Elrond: I find it odd that you named it, personally...
-6: Walking-
"So Rohan doesn't exist yet?!" Kari exclaimed in surprise, and I nodded.
"Rohan was a young kingdom when the War of the Ring happened - not even one thousand years old. It won't be formed now until after the Watchful Peaces ends - the same year Celebrían departs, in fact." I replied. "Another, um, 401 years."
"So no sexy horse lords?" Kari asked with a pout, and I chuckled.
"Oh, I'm sure they're around somewhere. They had to come from somewhere, right?" I said. "But I could never get the founding of all those silly kingdoms sorted out in my head, so I have no idea where they are right now."
"So what about Gondor? You haven't said anything about them." Kari replied.
"Well, see, that's the thing. Gondor was really huge before the Last Alliance, and then it slowly disintegrated as time went on." I said thoughtfully. "It's the one thing that always confused me - when Gondor actually lost its Kings. But as far as I can figure, Gondor proper still has its Kings, and will until the 2800's. However, the Dúnedain - the Rangers - are out there frolicking through the wilderness."
"So Gondor still has Kings, Rohan doesn't exist, the Dwarves are still under the mountain...is ANYTHING the same as it was during the Lord of the Rings?!" Kari asked in exasperation.
"Eh, the Shire's probably still the same...Oh wait. There won't be a Buckland for another, uh, 200 and some years." I replied. "And as a side note to that, there's another 300-some years until Sméagol finds the One Ring. So if we want to go for a little trip, we could probably find his people before they disappeared."
"Erg, no thanks." Kari said, looking uncomfortable. "I'd prefer to continue disliking Gollum. If I see his people, I'll probably start feeling sorry for him. And then when we go see 'Return of the King', I'll feel like pelting the people who cheer when he dies with soggy popcorn." I laughed, and then frowned as Kari's words sunk in.
"So you think we'll be able to get home?" I asked.
"Well we damn well better. I wanna see 'Return of the King'!" Kari replied.
"You know, since we're Elves, we could just hang around here and see it all first-hand." I pointed out.
"Yes yes, but it's not the same!" Kari said, sounding slightly annoyed. "When you're watching a movie, you get to see all sorts of personal conversations that you wouldn't be able to see in real life, and you can see what's going on with the bad guys and yada yada yada! In real life, you don't get any of that!" I was silent for a moment, wondering how best to tell Kari my next point.
"You do realize that since you've told them all we're from Eregion, we're going to have to find our own way home without any help." I finally said, deciding on the harsh-but-true method. Kari abruptly stopped walking.
"CRAP." she exclaimed, then sighed and started walking again. "Guess I brought that on us."
"We could just tell them the truth now and ask for help." I suggested.
"Right, that would endear us to them a whole lot. 'What? You mean everything that you've told us so far is a lie? And now you want us to help you get home? Sure, no problem!'" Kari snorted lightly, and then continued, "I don't think so, Rach."
"We could tell them that we lied because we didn't think they'd believe us." I replied.
"They could very well still not believe us if we told the truth. And then we'd be labeled as madwomen and probably cast out of Elvish society if not killed. Who knows what they do to the insane?" Kari replied.
"Probably try and heal them." I said dryly. "But if you're set against not telling them, I'll keep my mouth shut. Though I'm beginning to think you don't really want to go home, for all your proclaimed wanting to see 'Return of the King'."
"Oh be quiet." Kari replied. "I DO want to go home. Middle-Earth is nice, but I already miss TV and the radio." I was silent for a moment, then a thought struck me and I grinned momentarily before starting singing.
"Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman."
Kari was laughing by the time I finished, and I had to stop singing to giggle at myself. I could be a good singer - when I tried. I hadn't been particularly trying, however, so it had actually been a rather horrible rendition of the first verse of the Spiderman theme song. After awhile, we calmed down, and then Kari started singing.
"Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob
A nobody relative of the son of God
If only I'd been born just a little sooner
I'd be more than the brother of God junior!"
I'd started laughing while she was singing, but calmed down as she finished the chorus, and we both started the song again from the beginning.
"If you haven't heard of me I wouldn't be surprised
I bet you know my relatives their names will never die
My mother is a saint and my brother is a God
But all I am is Jesus' brother Bob!"
We finished singing 'Jesus' Brother Bob' and then went on to 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back)' for some odd reason. From there, it just deteriorated to more humorous or hilariously bad songs, including such favorites as 'I Am Cow' by the Arrogant Worms, Weird Ali Yankivich's version of 'Pretty Fly', or whatever that song is called, and 'Digital Get Down' by *N Sync. By the time we couldn't sing anymore from laughter, we had long since stopped walking and were leaning up against trees for support. Eventually, we calmed down, and both flopped down next to the path and stared up at the sky.
"Preeeeetty Middle-Earth sky." Kari commented.
"Preeeeetty blue." I replied. "I didn't know a sky could get so blue."
"Yeah. Ooo, look, Frodo-shaped cloud!" Kari said, pointing. I squinted as I looked at the cloud she was pointing at.
"You sure it's Frodo-shaped?" I asked, honestly not able to see how any cloud could be Frodo-or any hobbit-shaped.
"Well, it could be just hobbit-shaped." Kari conceded.
"Rabbit cloud." I said after a moment, pointing.
"But it doesn't have any bunny ears! How can it be a rabbit cloud?" Kari asked.
"You don't need the stereotypical rabbit ears to be a rabbit! Ears do not make the rabbit! Otherwise, all the old TV's that have rabbit ears would be rabbits! But they're not!" I replied defensively. "It's one of those rabbits with floppy ears. Lops, I think they're called..."
"I don't think that's what they're called." Kari said, making a face.
"What what are called?" a voice asked, and Kari and I sprang into a sitting position. One of the twins stood there grinning at us.
"Bunnies with floppy ears." Kari replied, getting over her surprise.
"You mean Lops?" the twin replied.
"HA! I was right!" I said triumphantly.
"Well, it's not MY fault they have such a weird name that even when you get it right you don't think it is!" Kari retorted.
"Yes it is!" I replied. Kari and the twin blinked at me, and I smirked.
"How is it my fault?" Kari asked after a moment.
"It...just is." I said, looking from side to side with shifty eyes.
"Aha! So it's not my fault!" Kari insisted.
"It is as long as I say it is!" I shot back.
"I'm starting to become surprised that you two could stand each other for four millennia." the twin said dryly.
"We stopped being surprised a looooong time ago." I said with a grin. "Now, which twin are you?"
"Guess!" he replied cheerfully.
"Elrohir." Kari said flatly, and the twin and I blinked at her in surprise. "What? Elladan would tell us so we didn't bring up the falling-off-the-chair incident!" Elrohir laughed.
"To true!" he said.
"So what are you doing...here?" I asked, not having any clue where we were.
"Were you stalking us?" Kari asked suspiciously, and Elrohir chuckled again.
"No, though that is a good idea." he said with an impish grin in Kari's direction. She smiled back, and I faked gagging.
"Blerg! Answer the question and stop flirting!" I said, making a face, and both Elrohir and Kari laughed.
"Well, Elladan and I were going to find you horses to ride. Except we couldn't find you and nobody knew where you were." Elrohir said. "So, we put our tracking skills to good use!"
"We?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Uhm, well, Elladan WAS with me..." Elrohir said, glancing back down the path.
"Did you tie him naked to a tree?" I asked suspiciously, and Elrohir looked at me for a moment before bursting out laughing.
"No, I did that last week." Elrohir said seriously once he calmed down. I chuckled.
"Figures. So where is he, then?" I asked.
"Well, we found this ravine, and got in an argument about whether or not we could jump over it, and he decided to just jump it and show that he could. But, uh, he couldn't." Elrohir replied sheepishly.
"And you just left him there?" Kari asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Well, the ravine is rather deep, and I don't have any rope with me..." Elrohir said, shifting from foot to foot.
"So you just chose to leave him there and continue on your merry way to find us?" I asked, and Elrohir nodded.
"My, what a lovely twin." Kari commented dryly. Elrohir completely missed the sarcasm and took the statement as a compliment, grinning at Kari. Kari grinned back, and I sighed.
"Oh yes, SOMEBODY'S enjoying it here." I said pointedly, looking at Kari. Neither Kari nor Elrohir made any sign of having heard. With another sigh, I went over to Kari and poked her in the side, causing her to jump away with a yelp.
"Yep, still ticklish." I said with a smirk.
"Nof air." Kari said with a pout.
"Nof air?" Elrohir asked in confusion.
"Mangled form of 'no fair'." I replied. Elrohir just looked at Kari and me strangely. We grinned back. Then, before Kari and Elrohir could zone out at each other again, I grabbed Kari's arm and headed off down the path.
"C'mon, let's go laugh at Elladan." I said.
"To the ravine!" Kari said commandingly, holding an arm in the air like she was holding a sword and was in charge of a battalion or something. Both of us dissolved into laughter while Elrohir just shook his head and lead the way down the hill.
----To be continued...with 20% more mischief!----
(Because mischief is always good, especially combined with purple...)
-Authors Note:-
I know I said I didn't really mind not getting that many reviews, but this is slightly ridiculous...13 reviews for my 5 chapters so far? *arches an eyebrow* Maybe I'm just on review withdrawl. But come on, people, review if you're reading this! (and don't tell me only two people are reading this story...that goes against the laws of probability and likelihood)
*ahem* Yeah, anyways, now I'm off to...do something. Probably make a Seanchan sprite. Why? Because I'm bored and want to. (and for those of you that are wondering what a Seanchan is, look up The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan)
~Crimson Starlight
-Disclaimer:-
Crimson Starlight: For this chapter's disclaimer, we are handing things over to TFGWRW...
TFGWRW (aka, the Funky Glowing Water-Resitant Watch): Crimson Starlight owns nothing, except me, and the characters of Kari and Rachel. That includes her not owning 'Jesus' Brother Bob' by the Arrogant Worms, or the 'Spiderman' TV theme song.
Glorfindel: ...your watch is talking...
Crimson Starlight: I know. You have a problem with that?
Glorfindel: No, not at all... [shifty eyes]
Elrond: I find it odd that you named it, personally...
-6: Walking-
"So Rohan doesn't exist yet?!" Kari exclaimed in surprise, and I nodded.
"Rohan was a young kingdom when the War of the Ring happened - not even one thousand years old. It won't be formed now until after the Watchful Peaces ends - the same year Celebrían departs, in fact." I replied. "Another, um, 401 years."
"So no sexy horse lords?" Kari asked with a pout, and I chuckled.
"Oh, I'm sure they're around somewhere. They had to come from somewhere, right?" I said. "But I could never get the founding of all those silly kingdoms sorted out in my head, so I have no idea where they are right now."
"So what about Gondor? You haven't said anything about them." Kari replied.
"Well, see, that's the thing. Gondor was really huge before the Last Alliance, and then it slowly disintegrated as time went on." I said thoughtfully. "It's the one thing that always confused me - when Gondor actually lost its Kings. But as far as I can figure, Gondor proper still has its Kings, and will until the 2800's. However, the Dúnedain - the Rangers - are out there frolicking through the wilderness."
"So Gondor still has Kings, Rohan doesn't exist, the Dwarves are still under the mountain...is ANYTHING the same as it was during the Lord of the Rings?!" Kari asked in exasperation.
"Eh, the Shire's probably still the same...Oh wait. There won't be a Buckland for another, uh, 200 and some years." I replied. "And as a side note to that, there's another 300-some years until Sméagol finds the One Ring. So if we want to go for a little trip, we could probably find his people before they disappeared."
"Erg, no thanks." Kari said, looking uncomfortable. "I'd prefer to continue disliking Gollum. If I see his people, I'll probably start feeling sorry for him. And then when we go see 'Return of the King', I'll feel like pelting the people who cheer when he dies with soggy popcorn." I laughed, and then frowned as Kari's words sunk in.
"So you think we'll be able to get home?" I asked.
"Well we damn well better. I wanna see 'Return of the King'!" Kari replied.
"You know, since we're Elves, we could just hang around here and see it all first-hand." I pointed out.
"Yes yes, but it's not the same!" Kari said, sounding slightly annoyed. "When you're watching a movie, you get to see all sorts of personal conversations that you wouldn't be able to see in real life, and you can see what's going on with the bad guys and yada yada yada! In real life, you don't get any of that!" I was silent for a moment, wondering how best to tell Kari my next point.
"You do realize that since you've told them all we're from Eregion, we're going to have to find our own way home without any help." I finally said, deciding on the harsh-but-true method. Kari abruptly stopped walking.
"CRAP." she exclaimed, then sighed and started walking again. "Guess I brought that on us."
"We could just tell them the truth now and ask for help." I suggested.
"Right, that would endear us to them a whole lot. 'What? You mean everything that you've told us so far is a lie? And now you want us to help you get home? Sure, no problem!'" Kari snorted lightly, and then continued, "I don't think so, Rach."
"We could tell them that we lied because we didn't think they'd believe us." I replied.
"They could very well still not believe us if we told the truth. And then we'd be labeled as madwomen and probably cast out of Elvish society if not killed. Who knows what they do to the insane?" Kari replied.
"Probably try and heal them." I said dryly. "But if you're set against not telling them, I'll keep my mouth shut. Though I'm beginning to think you don't really want to go home, for all your proclaimed wanting to see 'Return of the King'."
"Oh be quiet." Kari replied. "I DO want to go home. Middle-Earth is nice, but I already miss TV and the radio." I was silent for a moment, then a thought struck me and I grinned momentarily before starting singing.
"Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman."
Kari was laughing by the time I finished, and I had to stop singing to giggle at myself. I could be a good singer - when I tried. I hadn't been particularly trying, however, so it had actually been a rather horrible rendition of the first verse of the Spiderman theme song. After awhile, we calmed down, and then Kari started singing.
"Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob
A nobody relative of the son of God
If only I'd been born just a little sooner
I'd be more than the brother of God junior!"
I'd started laughing while she was singing, but calmed down as she finished the chorus, and we both started the song again from the beginning.
"If you haven't heard of me I wouldn't be surprised
I bet you know my relatives their names will never die
My mother is a saint and my brother is a God
But all I am is Jesus' brother Bob!"
We finished singing 'Jesus' Brother Bob' and then went on to 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back)' for some odd reason. From there, it just deteriorated to more humorous or hilariously bad songs, including such favorites as 'I Am Cow' by the Arrogant Worms, Weird Ali Yankivich's version of 'Pretty Fly', or whatever that song is called, and 'Digital Get Down' by *N Sync. By the time we couldn't sing anymore from laughter, we had long since stopped walking and were leaning up against trees for support. Eventually, we calmed down, and both flopped down next to the path and stared up at the sky.
"Preeeeetty Middle-Earth sky." Kari commented.
"Preeeeetty blue." I replied. "I didn't know a sky could get so blue."
"Yeah. Ooo, look, Frodo-shaped cloud!" Kari said, pointing. I squinted as I looked at the cloud she was pointing at.
"You sure it's Frodo-shaped?" I asked, honestly not able to see how any cloud could be Frodo-or any hobbit-shaped.
"Well, it could be just hobbit-shaped." Kari conceded.
"Rabbit cloud." I said after a moment, pointing.
"But it doesn't have any bunny ears! How can it be a rabbit cloud?" Kari asked.
"You don't need the stereotypical rabbit ears to be a rabbit! Ears do not make the rabbit! Otherwise, all the old TV's that have rabbit ears would be rabbits! But they're not!" I replied defensively. "It's one of those rabbits with floppy ears. Lops, I think they're called..."
"I don't think that's what they're called." Kari said, making a face.
"What what are called?" a voice asked, and Kari and I sprang into a sitting position. One of the twins stood there grinning at us.
"Bunnies with floppy ears." Kari replied, getting over her surprise.
"You mean Lops?" the twin replied.
"HA! I was right!" I said triumphantly.
"Well, it's not MY fault they have such a weird name that even when you get it right you don't think it is!" Kari retorted.
"Yes it is!" I replied. Kari and the twin blinked at me, and I smirked.
"How is it my fault?" Kari asked after a moment.
"It...just is." I said, looking from side to side with shifty eyes.
"Aha! So it's not my fault!" Kari insisted.
"It is as long as I say it is!" I shot back.
"I'm starting to become surprised that you two could stand each other for four millennia." the twin said dryly.
"We stopped being surprised a looooong time ago." I said with a grin. "Now, which twin are you?"
"Guess!" he replied cheerfully.
"Elrohir." Kari said flatly, and the twin and I blinked at her in surprise. "What? Elladan would tell us so we didn't bring up the falling-off-the-chair incident!" Elrohir laughed.
"To true!" he said.
"So what are you doing...here?" I asked, not having any clue where we were.
"Were you stalking us?" Kari asked suspiciously, and Elrohir chuckled again.
"No, though that is a good idea." he said with an impish grin in Kari's direction. She smiled back, and I faked gagging.
"Blerg! Answer the question and stop flirting!" I said, making a face, and both Elrohir and Kari laughed.
"Well, Elladan and I were going to find you horses to ride. Except we couldn't find you and nobody knew where you were." Elrohir said. "So, we put our tracking skills to good use!"
"We?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Uhm, well, Elladan WAS with me..." Elrohir said, glancing back down the path.
"Did you tie him naked to a tree?" I asked suspiciously, and Elrohir looked at me for a moment before bursting out laughing.
"No, I did that last week." Elrohir said seriously once he calmed down. I chuckled.
"Figures. So where is he, then?" I asked.
"Well, we found this ravine, and got in an argument about whether or not we could jump over it, and he decided to just jump it and show that he could. But, uh, he couldn't." Elrohir replied sheepishly.
"And you just left him there?" Kari asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Well, the ravine is rather deep, and I don't have any rope with me..." Elrohir said, shifting from foot to foot.
"So you just chose to leave him there and continue on your merry way to find us?" I asked, and Elrohir nodded.
"My, what a lovely twin." Kari commented dryly. Elrohir completely missed the sarcasm and took the statement as a compliment, grinning at Kari. Kari grinned back, and I sighed.
"Oh yes, SOMEBODY'S enjoying it here." I said pointedly, looking at Kari. Neither Kari nor Elrohir made any sign of having heard. With another sigh, I went over to Kari and poked her in the side, causing her to jump away with a yelp.
"Yep, still ticklish." I said with a smirk.
"Nof air." Kari said with a pout.
"Nof air?" Elrohir asked in confusion.
"Mangled form of 'no fair'." I replied. Elrohir just looked at Kari and me strangely. We grinned back. Then, before Kari and Elrohir could zone out at each other again, I grabbed Kari's arm and headed off down the path.
"C'mon, let's go laugh at Elladan." I said.
"To the ravine!" Kari said commandingly, holding an arm in the air like she was holding a sword and was in charge of a battalion or something. Both of us dissolved into laughter while Elrohir just shook his head and lead the way down the hill.
----To be continued...with 20% more mischief!----
(Because mischief is always good, especially combined with purple...)
-Authors Note:-
I know I said I didn't really mind not getting that many reviews, but this is slightly ridiculous...13 reviews for my 5 chapters so far? *arches an eyebrow* Maybe I'm just on review withdrawl. But come on, people, review if you're reading this! (and don't tell me only two people are reading this story...that goes against the laws of probability and likelihood)
*ahem* Yeah, anyways, now I'm off to...do something. Probably make a Seanchan sprite. Why? Because I'm bored and want to. (and for those of you that are wondering what a Seanchan is, look up The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan)
~Crimson Starlight