Spike and Angel stared at Drusilla in amazement. Spike had put her in
the cage, placing her on the cold ground in the corner even thought she was
unconscious he was gentle with her. Once Spike had walked out of the cage
Angel locked Drusilla safely inside, or more accurately locked themselves
safely outside. Now the two men were watching her asleep. This insane
clairvoyant who was more girl then woman, who had such spirit and energy
was peacefully knocked out on the ground. Asleep she looked even younger
then the day Angel had first spotted her, and she looked so innocent too.
They both marveled at the transformation, they of course had seen her
asleep before but now that they had souls they looked at her with a new
perspective on life.
"Lindsey was right." Angel said looking over at Spike and murmuring quietly, not sure if he was talking more to Spike or more to himself.
"Yeah... huh? What?" Spike asked confused looking away from Drusilla and up at Angel. "What in bloody hell are you going on about now? That nutter Lindsey has no idea what he's talking about."
"Lindsey may be a little... ok he's kind of out of his mind." Angel smiles a little but quickly turned serious again. "But he was right. I'm not earning redemption by being here. I'm living outside of the battle, just letting life pass me by again. I need to be back in the streets really helping people. Not just working here and helping clients who can afford Wolfram & Hart's help. They're not the ones who need the real help."
"We're doin' good here. We get in the streets and have a bit of a squabble now and again. We're a part of the larger picture... aren't we?" Spike asked Angel suddenly not so sure. Lately everything seemed to be going wrong, and Fred one of the few humans he genuinely liked had died. It had all happened since Wolfram & Hart came into the picture.
"That's what I thought when I joined. I don't think so anymore, I made a mistake. I'm going to quit." Angel said aloud for the first time. He had been thinking about it for the past few weeks and when Lindsey had pretty much said everything he had been thinking about he knew it was the right decision. To hear it aloud from his own voice was different, it scared him a little he would be out on his own again. Well maybe not alone if the second part of his plan worked out, but he didn't dare tell that part to Spike. He smiled aloud and repeated himself, "I'm quitting."
"Bloody wonderful, guess I'm out of a job." Spike said leaning against the wall and sighing. Wasn't like he was too fond of the place, but what in the world was he going to do now he thought.
"As soon as I use Wolfram & Hart's resources so we can give Drusilla back her soul, I'll hand in my resignation."
"Now wait just a sodding minute here!" Spike said in shock standing up straight suddenly. "We're going to give what back to who?" he questioned, almost positive he must have misheard Angel. What he thought Angel said couldn't have been right at all, that just made no sense whatsoever.
"We're giving Drusilla back her soul." Angel said grinning, as if vampires were resouled every day. Which... ok so far Angel had been given back his soul three times, if Spike got his adding right and Spike himself once, but Drusilla was another story.
"Now you've gone daft. Giving Dru back her soul? Oh yeah that'll work out just great." Spike replied sarcastically. "Like we had such a great time with our souls. You just about disappeared for a century and I lost my mind, wonder how well Dru will do, since you drove her mad to being with!"
"You only lost your mind because of The First. It came in and played with your mind, made you see and feel things that weren't real. I know, it did the same to me. She'll be ok she's tough." Angel said softly looking at Drusilla.
"Great, just imagine it, there will probably some great apocalypse comin' up, cause there always is. And I bet she'll be the next hero, she'll wind up becoming human and leave us in the dust, maybe literally." Spike said bitterly then looked up at Angel and they both burst into laughter thinking of Drusilla as a hero and becoming human. Then the laughter slowly faded as they remembered how evil THEY had been and now they were champions who saved the world and suddenly it didn't seem so ridiculous.
"I should start making some phone calls, call the magick department and get this resouling business down with." Angel mumbled to himself, talking out loud trying to get organized. He gave one more glance at Drusilla then walked away down the long basement hall toward the stairs.
"You're doin' all this now?" Spike said surprised, looking at Drusilla who was still immobile, then hurried after Angel wanting to keep in the know about what's going on.
"I want to get this over with. It'll be best if we give her back her soul before she wakes up, it'll be less confusing that way. I don't know about you, but with me when my soul came back to me I didn't know what was going on." Angel said to Spike as they walked up the stairs and headed up to Angel's office.
"Well I got mine back in a bit of a different way. I knew perfectly well what was going on, I wanted it. Hard to remember why sometimes." Spike said, half meaning it and half joking.
Angel paused outside his office, and turned to Spike. He opened his mouth to say something then noticed Harmony at her desk, peering over at them from her desk; she was leaning over so far he thought she might fall. He walked into his office and grabbed Spike's shirt pulling him in afterwards. Spike gave him a nasty look as Angel closed the door with a loud thud. "Someone should probably be there with Drusilla when she wakes up."
Spike wasn't sure what Angel really meant for a second then it dawned on him. "She's going to need a lot of help isn't she?" he asked, kind of rhetorically but Angel nodded anyway. "I'll be there for her, after all if it weren't for her I wouldn't be here." He gave a crooked smile.
"You don't have to do it, I'm sure we could find someone here willing to do it. Probably someone from the science department, who would want to perform experiments on her." Angel said, guilting Spike but also giving him an opportunity not to help out.
'I want to Angel." Spike said quietly, giving them an awkward moment to reflect on their odd relationship. Spike gave a little cough, "so what are you doin' lazing' about? Get on the bloody phone, and let's give Dru back her soul."
Angel smiled at Spike, knowing that their relationship was safe. They would never be close, they had been on opposite sides too much and often went after the same thing. Still, something told him that life wouldn't be as agonizing as it once was with Spike. Over a century of animosity couldn't change into friendship in just a few days, probably never could. For the first time since he had known Spike he realized that he had changed, matured, and realized what was important in life. He could now view Spike differently from that wimpy weak poet, bad ass want to be he met all those years ago. He could almost see Spike as someone he could trust. He shook his head, brushing off the emotions, pressing the button that connected him to the magic department, a woman picked up. "Hello Miss Blake, yes this is Angel. Not Mr. Angel, just Angel." He sighed then continued, "Do you think you people can re-soul vampires? Yes I know you've never done it before. You're willing to try? Good...I want you to look up on the vampire Drusilla...you already have? Good, well, I need you to..."
Spike shrugged and left the room, he didn't need to hear it, knowing what was to be done hurt enough already. He knew Angel was right and it had to be done, and he was going to be the one to help Drusilla suffer through it.
"Spikey?" Spike stopped, freezing in place. He felt his jaw clench and his arms twitch involuntarily, a reaction to that one small word. Just one more time and Harm would end up with a broken jaw if that name escaped her lips again.
"What now?" He asked not even bothering to hide his irritation as the strong scent of JLo perfume enveloped him as Harm stood in front of him, giving him a sheepish smile.
"Well you know, I'm Angel's secretary. I need to keep tabs on what's going on, so, you should probably te-" Spike walked past her, not even bothering to give her a good brush off comment. Harmony stared after him open mouthed, surprised and hurt by him leaving her standing there. She went back over to her desk and tried to look busy to cover up the fact that she had nothing else to do and no one to talk to. Spike hurried on down the steps to the basement. He walked through the small beige hallway towards the cage that held Drusilla inside. He sat down, leaning his head against the bars, watching her sleep. She didn't move at all, she looked like a truly dead corpse, which of course was exactly what she was. And in that moment he remembered how much he loved her. Memories rushed back, on their life together, how it used to be and never could be again. And the fact that she would suffer now was killing him, especially since it would be his fault, he wasn't stop Angel's plan.
He waited in vain for her body to move, twitch, anything. It was agonizing waiting for something to happen, every minute seemed to last forever, dragging on. The silence was getting to him, bringing back memories of a high school basement and of being taunted by the First. Spike looked away for a second he couldn't keep staring, she looked dead. And he was used to that, how many mornings, afternoons actually, did he wake up next to her small pale frame and watch her sleep he wondered? This was different though, this wasn't sleep this was her body in suspension, soon it would be changing. He looked back to the cage and raised an eyebrow, Drusilla was shivering, no she was twitching.
"Dru?" Spike asked in a panic, worried about what was happening to her. He couldn't even imagine, getting his own soul back was painful but he was prepared body and mind, but Drusilla... Her body only responded with another twitch then she let out a slight whimper. Soon she was suddenly sitting up, her face looking paler then he had even seen, even when she had been sick and near death. She looked as if she was freezing but beads of perspiration sprung out, clinging onto her too pale Skin. She stared at him, her eyes wide, hollow and deep, looking sick then he had ever seen. She didn't even seem to realize he was there.
"Drusilla, pet...are you alright?" Dru shook her head violently, crawling away from him as quick as she could. She crawled over to a dark corner bathed in shadows. She looked distant, her cheeks reflected a slight flush that humans sometimes get after sex. But hers was from pain, of having something shoved back into her body into a place that had been hollow and empty for years. Her soul, which brought back her humanity and goodness, and also brought sorrow, pain, regret and a dozen more emotions that the demon inside her was lacking. "Drusilla, its Spike...say something please. I need to know you're ok. You've been given back your soul, luv. Say something!" Spike repeated, begging.
Dru kept looking at the floor, still looking lost and afraid. Spikes heart went out to her, almost knowing what she was going to. He wished he could change places with her, for all the times Drusilla acted to strong and brave he knew that inside was a scared child. That was what had attracted Angelus to her all those years ago, what led to her being turned. Then her lips, still somehow perfectly done up in crimson parted and she spoke, "So many lives, and I took them... and I was smiling all the while. I broke them into little pieces and played with the parts, made them into toys to make me happy. The bodies are in the millions, Spike. They're floating in a sea of blood over my head, yelling awful things." She looked up through tears at Spike to see if he understood.
He nodded to her, giving her all the attention and focus he had. Spike quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to the cage which he had swiped from Angel. Spike stuck the key in the lock and sprung open the cage door, he took a step inside and held his arms open to her. He was afraid to touch her first, "Come here, pet. I'm here to help you, I'll do whatever I can to make things better."
Dru hesitated at first unsure, then dropped down on all fours and crawled to Spike. Every inch she went seemed to be a big strain for her. Once she reached him, she sat back on her heels and wrapped her thin arms around his strong neck. She leaned her face beside his, trying to take comfort and strength from her presence. Between them cold tears dripped down their cheeks mingling before falling onto the floor "It hurts, Spike. It burns worse then anything before. It's all wrong and fighting inside, unhinged. It's wrong..." she whispered into his ear.
Spike bit his bottom lip, trying to give himself some of the pain that Drusilla felt. Her embrace was rewarding, it brought back the wonderful past but it hurt bringing back all the wrong they had done. He kissed her cheek, still holding her close to his body. "I know, baby, I'm here, don't fret. Whatever you need, I'm here and that won't change."
Dru let out another small shiver and moaned. Her voice changed, become more serious, and clear, showing the side of her that came out now and then giving a hint to the sanity that had been taken away, but her childish whisper was still there. "You should have killed me."
"Lindsey was right." Angel said looking over at Spike and murmuring quietly, not sure if he was talking more to Spike or more to himself.
"Yeah... huh? What?" Spike asked confused looking away from Drusilla and up at Angel. "What in bloody hell are you going on about now? That nutter Lindsey has no idea what he's talking about."
"Lindsey may be a little... ok he's kind of out of his mind." Angel smiles a little but quickly turned serious again. "But he was right. I'm not earning redemption by being here. I'm living outside of the battle, just letting life pass me by again. I need to be back in the streets really helping people. Not just working here and helping clients who can afford Wolfram & Hart's help. They're not the ones who need the real help."
"We're doin' good here. We get in the streets and have a bit of a squabble now and again. We're a part of the larger picture... aren't we?" Spike asked Angel suddenly not so sure. Lately everything seemed to be going wrong, and Fred one of the few humans he genuinely liked had died. It had all happened since Wolfram & Hart came into the picture.
"That's what I thought when I joined. I don't think so anymore, I made a mistake. I'm going to quit." Angel said aloud for the first time. He had been thinking about it for the past few weeks and when Lindsey had pretty much said everything he had been thinking about he knew it was the right decision. To hear it aloud from his own voice was different, it scared him a little he would be out on his own again. Well maybe not alone if the second part of his plan worked out, but he didn't dare tell that part to Spike. He smiled aloud and repeated himself, "I'm quitting."
"Bloody wonderful, guess I'm out of a job." Spike said leaning against the wall and sighing. Wasn't like he was too fond of the place, but what in the world was he going to do now he thought.
"As soon as I use Wolfram & Hart's resources so we can give Drusilla back her soul, I'll hand in my resignation."
"Now wait just a sodding minute here!" Spike said in shock standing up straight suddenly. "We're going to give what back to who?" he questioned, almost positive he must have misheard Angel. What he thought Angel said couldn't have been right at all, that just made no sense whatsoever.
"We're giving Drusilla back her soul." Angel said grinning, as if vampires were resouled every day. Which... ok so far Angel had been given back his soul three times, if Spike got his adding right and Spike himself once, but Drusilla was another story.
"Now you've gone daft. Giving Dru back her soul? Oh yeah that'll work out just great." Spike replied sarcastically. "Like we had such a great time with our souls. You just about disappeared for a century and I lost my mind, wonder how well Dru will do, since you drove her mad to being with!"
"You only lost your mind because of The First. It came in and played with your mind, made you see and feel things that weren't real. I know, it did the same to me. She'll be ok she's tough." Angel said softly looking at Drusilla.
"Great, just imagine it, there will probably some great apocalypse comin' up, cause there always is. And I bet she'll be the next hero, she'll wind up becoming human and leave us in the dust, maybe literally." Spike said bitterly then looked up at Angel and they both burst into laughter thinking of Drusilla as a hero and becoming human. Then the laughter slowly faded as they remembered how evil THEY had been and now they were champions who saved the world and suddenly it didn't seem so ridiculous.
"I should start making some phone calls, call the magick department and get this resouling business down with." Angel mumbled to himself, talking out loud trying to get organized. He gave one more glance at Drusilla then walked away down the long basement hall toward the stairs.
"You're doin' all this now?" Spike said surprised, looking at Drusilla who was still immobile, then hurried after Angel wanting to keep in the know about what's going on.
"I want to get this over with. It'll be best if we give her back her soul before she wakes up, it'll be less confusing that way. I don't know about you, but with me when my soul came back to me I didn't know what was going on." Angel said to Spike as they walked up the stairs and headed up to Angel's office.
"Well I got mine back in a bit of a different way. I knew perfectly well what was going on, I wanted it. Hard to remember why sometimes." Spike said, half meaning it and half joking.
Angel paused outside his office, and turned to Spike. He opened his mouth to say something then noticed Harmony at her desk, peering over at them from her desk; she was leaning over so far he thought she might fall. He walked into his office and grabbed Spike's shirt pulling him in afterwards. Spike gave him a nasty look as Angel closed the door with a loud thud. "Someone should probably be there with Drusilla when she wakes up."
Spike wasn't sure what Angel really meant for a second then it dawned on him. "She's going to need a lot of help isn't she?" he asked, kind of rhetorically but Angel nodded anyway. "I'll be there for her, after all if it weren't for her I wouldn't be here." He gave a crooked smile.
"You don't have to do it, I'm sure we could find someone here willing to do it. Probably someone from the science department, who would want to perform experiments on her." Angel said, guilting Spike but also giving him an opportunity not to help out.
'I want to Angel." Spike said quietly, giving them an awkward moment to reflect on their odd relationship. Spike gave a little cough, "so what are you doin' lazing' about? Get on the bloody phone, and let's give Dru back her soul."
Angel smiled at Spike, knowing that their relationship was safe. They would never be close, they had been on opposite sides too much and often went after the same thing. Still, something told him that life wouldn't be as agonizing as it once was with Spike. Over a century of animosity couldn't change into friendship in just a few days, probably never could. For the first time since he had known Spike he realized that he had changed, matured, and realized what was important in life. He could now view Spike differently from that wimpy weak poet, bad ass want to be he met all those years ago. He could almost see Spike as someone he could trust. He shook his head, brushing off the emotions, pressing the button that connected him to the magic department, a woman picked up. "Hello Miss Blake, yes this is Angel. Not Mr. Angel, just Angel." He sighed then continued, "Do you think you people can re-soul vampires? Yes I know you've never done it before. You're willing to try? Good...I want you to look up on the vampire Drusilla...you already have? Good, well, I need you to..."
Spike shrugged and left the room, he didn't need to hear it, knowing what was to be done hurt enough already. He knew Angel was right and it had to be done, and he was going to be the one to help Drusilla suffer through it.
"Spikey?" Spike stopped, freezing in place. He felt his jaw clench and his arms twitch involuntarily, a reaction to that one small word. Just one more time and Harm would end up with a broken jaw if that name escaped her lips again.
"What now?" He asked not even bothering to hide his irritation as the strong scent of JLo perfume enveloped him as Harm stood in front of him, giving him a sheepish smile.
"Well you know, I'm Angel's secretary. I need to keep tabs on what's going on, so, you should probably te-" Spike walked past her, not even bothering to give her a good brush off comment. Harmony stared after him open mouthed, surprised and hurt by him leaving her standing there. She went back over to her desk and tried to look busy to cover up the fact that she had nothing else to do and no one to talk to. Spike hurried on down the steps to the basement. He walked through the small beige hallway towards the cage that held Drusilla inside. He sat down, leaning his head against the bars, watching her sleep. She didn't move at all, she looked like a truly dead corpse, which of course was exactly what she was. And in that moment he remembered how much he loved her. Memories rushed back, on their life together, how it used to be and never could be again. And the fact that she would suffer now was killing him, especially since it would be his fault, he wasn't stop Angel's plan.
He waited in vain for her body to move, twitch, anything. It was agonizing waiting for something to happen, every minute seemed to last forever, dragging on. The silence was getting to him, bringing back memories of a high school basement and of being taunted by the First. Spike looked away for a second he couldn't keep staring, she looked dead. And he was used to that, how many mornings, afternoons actually, did he wake up next to her small pale frame and watch her sleep he wondered? This was different though, this wasn't sleep this was her body in suspension, soon it would be changing. He looked back to the cage and raised an eyebrow, Drusilla was shivering, no she was twitching.
"Dru?" Spike asked in a panic, worried about what was happening to her. He couldn't even imagine, getting his own soul back was painful but he was prepared body and mind, but Drusilla... Her body only responded with another twitch then she let out a slight whimper. Soon she was suddenly sitting up, her face looking paler then he had even seen, even when she had been sick and near death. She looked as if she was freezing but beads of perspiration sprung out, clinging onto her too pale Skin. She stared at him, her eyes wide, hollow and deep, looking sick then he had ever seen. She didn't even seem to realize he was there.
"Drusilla, pet...are you alright?" Dru shook her head violently, crawling away from him as quick as she could. She crawled over to a dark corner bathed in shadows. She looked distant, her cheeks reflected a slight flush that humans sometimes get after sex. But hers was from pain, of having something shoved back into her body into a place that had been hollow and empty for years. Her soul, which brought back her humanity and goodness, and also brought sorrow, pain, regret and a dozen more emotions that the demon inside her was lacking. "Drusilla, its Spike...say something please. I need to know you're ok. You've been given back your soul, luv. Say something!" Spike repeated, begging.
Dru kept looking at the floor, still looking lost and afraid. Spikes heart went out to her, almost knowing what she was going to. He wished he could change places with her, for all the times Drusilla acted to strong and brave he knew that inside was a scared child. That was what had attracted Angelus to her all those years ago, what led to her being turned. Then her lips, still somehow perfectly done up in crimson parted and she spoke, "So many lives, and I took them... and I was smiling all the while. I broke them into little pieces and played with the parts, made them into toys to make me happy. The bodies are in the millions, Spike. They're floating in a sea of blood over my head, yelling awful things." She looked up through tears at Spike to see if he understood.
He nodded to her, giving her all the attention and focus he had. Spike quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to the cage which he had swiped from Angel. Spike stuck the key in the lock and sprung open the cage door, he took a step inside and held his arms open to her. He was afraid to touch her first, "Come here, pet. I'm here to help you, I'll do whatever I can to make things better."
Dru hesitated at first unsure, then dropped down on all fours and crawled to Spike. Every inch she went seemed to be a big strain for her. Once she reached him, she sat back on her heels and wrapped her thin arms around his strong neck. She leaned her face beside his, trying to take comfort and strength from her presence. Between them cold tears dripped down their cheeks mingling before falling onto the floor "It hurts, Spike. It burns worse then anything before. It's all wrong and fighting inside, unhinged. It's wrong..." she whispered into his ear.
Spike bit his bottom lip, trying to give himself some of the pain that Drusilla felt. Her embrace was rewarding, it brought back the wonderful past but it hurt bringing back all the wrong they had done. He kissed her cheek, still holding her close to his body. "I know, baby, I'm here, don't fret. Whatever you need, I'm here and that won't change."
Dru let out another small shiver and moaned. Her voice changed, become more serious, and clear, showing the side of her that came out now and then giving a hint to the sanity that had been taken away, but her childish whisper was still there. "You should have killed me."