Disclaimer: The plot owned by me, everything else-JKR.
Alrite, so I was reading my other story and it was getting better, but it's still depressing. I know that this has been done before, but I wanted to do this, so here I go. I hope that you think it's humorous, because that's what I'm trying to make it…
Oh, and I'll update "I've Always Loved You" soon.
On with this story:
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So I was sitting there in the Leaky Cauldron, looking through the Daily Prophet for want-ads. I needed a job. Badly.
Who would think that know-it-all, bossy Hermione Granger, would graduate Hogwarts as Valedictorian, and graduate from College, with the highest possible average, and not get any job offers, none whatsoever?
Alright, I'm being egotistical, I know, but I'm getting desperate. I graduated from Firecross Wizarding College six months ago. I thought that as soon as I graduated, the owls would bombard my house with job offers and what-nots.
Guess I was wrong.
I got nothing, which was not what I expected, as I have told you before. And I was not about to go ask Harry or Ron for money. My ego wouldn't allow that. After all, I did get the "Most Expected to be Successful" and "Smartest Witch" award. But that was in Hogwarts. This was the real world. A very mean and uncaring real world.
So if I didn't borrow money from Ron and Harry, who did I borrow from? The bank. Gringotts, to be exact. And I borrowed a lot of money. My situation wasn't good. I had to pay the bank back, eventually. But with what? I didn't have enough money for myself. What was I going to give them?
Ok, I can't really tell you everything right now. Must-concentrate-on-finding-a-job. Must-concentrate-on-finding-a-job. Must-concentrate-on-finding-a-job.
"Granger, I didn't expect to find you here," said a voice I knew too well and hated hearing.
Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
What the hell was he doing here?
I didn't want to face him, but I had to.
"Hello, Malfoy."
The sound of his name from my mouth was just-ewl. I never wanted him to see my-er-condition.
"Hello Granger," he drawled. "What's this? Know-it-all Granger can't get a job?"
"How did you know about that?"
"I have my resources."
I snorted. "You mean, 'I terrorized some innocent, naïve bank workers into telling me secret, classified account information, which I shouldn't have even known about.'"
"Oh Merlin, Granger, you think everyone is interested in your life. Let me assure you, I'm only talking to you for business."
"Oh what business do you have with me? Aren't you afraid that someone from the media is going to see you consorting with a 'Mudblood'?"
"You and I both know that I do not think of you as a Mudblood."
Here, I laughed. I was imagining Malfoy singing "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz. Don't ask, I usually think weird thoughts like that.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. Just had a weird thought."
"Right. Let's get back to business."
"What business?"
"You have bad short-term memory, you know that Granger?"
"Shut up! Tell me what you want."
"I have a proposal."
"You know, that sound so wrong from your mouth."
"You are so uncanny."
"I know."
"Back to business, Granger, don't get on my nerves."
"Alright. What's your proposal?"
"You need a job badly. I need a personal assistant badly. Catch my drift?"
"You want me to be your personal assistant."
"Exactumundo."
"Is this a trick? Why would you want me to be your personal assistant?"
"You're probably the best at that job. Malfoy's only have the best. So if you're the best, which you most definitely are, I need you."
"Well, I don't fancy working with you."
"The feelings mutual. I daresay, if someone else had your brains, I would never even come this," here he made a small space between two of his fingers, "Close to you. But unfortunately, that's not the case."
This was so pathetic. If someone else offered that same job, I would immediately say yes. But this was Malfoy, and I didn't want to appear vulnerable at first, though I knew that I had to accept.
"How much will you pay me?"
"You pick."
"Er…10,000 galleons?"
Please say yes, please say yes.
"You're kidding, right? That little?"
I could hardly believe my ears.
"What amount should I say?"
"Well, since this is an important job… how about we make it 75,000 galleons, with all the extra bonuses you would want...and need."
"THAT MUCH MONEY?!?!"
"Shut up Granger, people are looking at us strangely…yes that much money…what'd you expect?"
"Oh wow…."
I was really dazed. Then I noticed Malfoy looking at me with a half glare/half amused look.
"Oh, by the way Granger, you're also out of debt."
"What do you mean?"
What the hell was he playing at? Was he getting me excited for no reason? Surely he didn't…
"I paid back all the loans that you took, and now you have a bank balance of 100,000 galleons," he said, in a sort of proud voice.
"You didn't-"
"Yes, I had to ensure that you would work for me...obviously you wouldn't if I didn't do anything…"
"Malfoy, you have no idea."
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I met my new boss, who even though he was narcissistic, annoying, and sarcastic, was downright handsome, at about 9:00 AM, in his office.
I didn't know he still had his old personal assistant.
So when I came, he just told me to sit in one of his guest chairs, while he talked to her.
More like, fired her.
"Listen, Eliza, we here at Malfoy Incorporated, feel that we don't need you anymore."
"What do you mean, sir?"
She probably tried to make her voice seductive, but it was just not up to par. And the look she gave him, ugh, I don't blame him for wanting to get rid of her.
"I didn't want to be so blunt, but you're a lousy secretary. So, you're fired."
Here, he handed her a pink slip.
"But, but-"
Clearly, she wasn't used to being unwanted.
"I expect you to clear out your desk and leave without a sound in," he glanced at his watch, "Five minutes."
He left then, and walked into his office, where I was waiting expectantly.
"Listen, since I am your new boss, you will have to call me "Sir" and your wardrobe, will have to change."
What the hell?
"What're you talking about?"
By the look on his face, I knew he was going to torture me.
"We're going shopping. For you. Seriously, what the hell do you think? I have standards and you need some," his well-known smirk appeared, "Revealing clothing. Low neck line, short skirts and all. You need to be sexier. What will people think if I have you by my side, in the way you look right now?"
"Oh shit. Don't tell me this. I will NOT be your 'personal whore'"
"You won't. But you'll look like it."
I can't believe this.
This was not happening.
What was I thinking when I accepted his offer?
That's right.
I didn't think.
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Ok, I need opinions on this, please R&R. PLEASE???
And I know, Hermione would never be broke, but work with me here, ok?
And, I know, it sounds American, but I'm American, so I don't know how to make it sound British.
OK?
***R&R***