A/N: This was fun and painful to write at the same time. Between my computer refusing to work (as it is possessed by evil spirits) and my procrastination skills, I'm finding it harder and harder lately to find time to write. Let alone post. Thanks to Krista for working me through some very difficult parts of this fic, and helping me figure out what I should actually do. And to making me write. And to those of you, who talked with me at 3 in the morning. Helping me to further procrastinate. Because I forgot to send it to Krista, I'm posting earlier then I thought I would:
***
I'd been kidding of course. Why would I ever want to send Frederick to boarding school? Granted, I was quite mad at him, but sending him away from home? No. I was already losing my baby enough as it was.
"That's a great idea!" I shouldn't have opened my mouth. But, I couldn't tell if he was faking or not.
"Are you kidding? I mean, if you don't think it's a good idea, then we don't have to-"
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course. If that's what you really want." Oh, I was getting mad at him.
"Of course not! Why would I want to send Frederick to boarding school?"
"But you said.."
"I know what I said! But since when do you ever listen to anything I say? Oh, last night, when I told you I wanted to sleep with you! What if I said that now? Would you forget all about Frederick and our current situation, and just start-"
"Lilith. Please. I'm sorry. I should've known it was a joke." God, why was he being so sweet. I wanted to kill him even more.
"Oh, how could you have known? I never let you know how I feel." I started sobbing right there. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, rocking gently. Oh, he smelled so-Lilith. Shut up!
***
"Lilith? Do you want to wait here while I go to the hospital? I do have to go, and you don't seem entirely up to it. I'll call-"
"Sure. I would like to stay. I don't think I could handle going, and seeing- But will you call?" Seeing, what?
"Of course. And, Lilith, there's some Mint Chocolate Chip in the freezer." I'd gotten it because she'd wanted to come, but I ended up eating-well, I ate at least half of it. At least she smiled a little when I said that.
"Frasier? Do you think, that if Samantha is, then Frederick will-"
"Yes, I think Freddie would want us to be at the hospital. And, you'll be able to handle it if that should happen. Even if I have to buy ice cream three times a day."
"I think you just want to make me fat. Or at least cold."
"I can't help it. You're just so cute with chattering teeth." I gave her a quick kiss and left, not bothering to bring my jacket.
As I stood in the elevator, I wondered-why I'd left my cell phone in the apartment. In my coat pocket.
I unlocked and opened my apartment door, and I was glad to see that Lilith wasn't in the room anymore. I didn't know what to say to her. So, I ran and grabbed my cell phone and left, returning to the elevator.
I was wondering, what she didn't want to see at the hospital. The baby, or.. Niles and Daphne. I couldn't help but wonder if she was as jealous as them as I was.
Yes, I actually admitted to being jealous of Niles. I was jealous of him, and how he hadn't given up. He knew he loved Daphne, and he wouldn't give up on the idea of being with her, even when it seemed impossible.
Somewhere along the line, I'd given up on Lilith and me. After all those years, it wasn't all that hard. But, that was no excuse. I knew I loved her, so why didn't I do something about it.
I definately couldn't do anything at the moment. She would think I was only doing something because of the situation. Granted, we'd slept together before we found out about Frederick, but she could chalk that up to any number of things.
I guessed the best thing to do was just wait until Samantha found out whether or not she was pregnant. I didn't even know this girl, and already, she was hurting my relationship with Lilith.
I got into my car, but I didn't want to leave. It took a great deal of courage for me to start my car that day, and I wasn't completely sure why.
I pulled out of the parking garage, and headed towards the hospital. It was raining, and there was something incredibly soothing about the gentle tapping of the rain against my car. It helped me to forget my troubles for a while, and I just drove, not thinking or over-analyzing every aspect of the night. Just driving.
***
I'd been kidding of course. Why would I ever want to send Frederick to boarding school? Granted, I was quite mad at him, but sending him away from home? No. I was already losing my baby enough as it was.
"That's a great idea!" I shouldn't have opened my mouth. But, I couldn't tell if he was faking or not.
"Are you kidding? I mean, if you don't think it's a good idea, then we don't have to-"
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course. If that's what you really want." Oh, I was getting mad at him.
"Of course not! Why would I want to send Frederick to boarding school?"
"But you said.."
"I know what I said! But since when do you ever listen to anything I say? Oh, last night, when I told you I wanted to sleep with you! What if I said that now? Would you forget all about Frederick and our current situation, and just start-"
"Lilith. Please. I'm sorry. I should've known it was a joke." God, why was he being so sweet. I wanted to kill him even more.
"Oh, how could you have known? I never let you know how I feel." I started sobbing right there. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, rocking gently. Oh, he smelled so-Lilith. Shut up!
***
"Lilith? Do you want to wait here while I go to the hospital? I do have to go, and you don't seem entirely up to it. I'll call-"
"Sure. I would like to stay. I don't think I could handle going, and seeing- But will you call?" Seeing, what?
"Of course. And, Lilith, there's some Mint Chocolate Chip in the freezer." I'd gotten it because she'd wanted to come, but I ended up eating-well, I ate at least half of it. At least she smiled a little when I said that.
"Frasier? Do you think, that if Samantha is, then Frederick will-"
"Yes, I think Freddie would want us to be at the hospital. And, you'll be able to handle it if that should happen. Even if I have to buy ice cream three times a day."
"I think you just want to make me fat. Or at least cold."
"I can't help it. You're just so cute with chattering teeth." I gave her a quick kiss and left, not bothering to bring my jacket.
As I stood in the elevator, I wondered-why I'd left my cell phone in the apartment. In my coat pocket.
I unlocked and opened my apartment door, and I was glad to see that Lilith wasn't in the room anymore. I didn't know what to say to her. So, I ran and grabbed my cell phone and left, returning to the elevator.
I was wondering, what she didn't want to see at the hospital. The baby, or.. Niles and Daphne. I couldn't help but wonder if she was as jealous as them as I was.
Yes, I actually admitted to being jealous of Niles. I was jealous of him, and how he hadn't given up. He knew he loved Daphne, and he wouldn't give up on the idea of being with her, even when it seemed impossible.
Somewhere along the line, I'd given up on Lilith and me. After all those years, it wasn't all that hard. But, that was no excuse. I knew I loved her, so why didn't I do something about it.
I definately couldn't do anything at the moment. She would think I was only doing something because of the situation. Granted, we'd slept together before we found out about Frederick, but she could chalk that up to any number of things.
I guessed the best thing to do was just wait until Samantha found out whether or not she was pregnant. I didn't even know this girl, and already, she was hurting my relationship with Lilith.
I got into my car, but I didn't want to leave. It took a great deal of courage for me to start my car that day, and I wasn't completely sure why.
I pulled out of the parking garage, and headed towards the hospital. It was raining, and there was something incredibly soothing about the gentle tapping of the rain against my car. It helped me to forget my troubles for a while, and I just drove, not thinking or over-analyzing every aspect of the night. Just driving.