Chapter 6: Lon Lon Ranch and Saria's Song
(Before heading off for Kakariko Village. Link and Navi decide to stop by Lon Lon Ranch to pay Malon a visit and to see if her father returned home).
Link: I can't wait till we see Malon. She was kind've cute.
Navi: Yea. Whatever. We need to give her the cucco back while we are visiting her. Well here we are.
Link: Pretty nice place. Oooh. Look at the horsies!
Navi: Uh yea. Great. Lets find Malon and get out of here.
Link: What's that noise?
Navi: I don't hear anything.
Link: Shhh. (in the distance a sound of somebody singing is heard).
Navi: It's coming from that fenced up area. Lets go check it out.
Link: (spots the singer) Hey. It's Malon! Hi Malon!! (waves)
Malon: (smiles and waves back) Hello fairy boy. I want to thank you for finding my father.
Link: (blushes) It was no problem. None at all.
Malon: You had no problems waking him up?
Link: Nope. The cucco woke him up pretty quickly.
Malon: Oh! Do you have my cucco? I need it back.
Link: . . . .
Malon: Um Link? I need my cucco.
Link: Cucco? What cucco?
Malon: Link? What happened to my cucco?
Link: (burps)
Malon: (eyes widen) You didn't!!
Link: (burps again)
Navi: (groans) He did!
Malon: (grabs Link by the shoulders and begins to shake him) HOW COULD YOU EAT MY CUCCO?!?!? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR A FAMILY FRIEND!!!!
Link: It was just a cucco. You can always get another one. (falls down on his butt).
Malon: (eye begins to twitch) Another one huh? You're going to regret saying that.(grabs a bat and is about to hit Link in the head).
Link: My Malon. You have such beautiful eyes.
Navi: Link. That isn't going to work. You're screwed. Get used to it.
Malon: (faces brightens up and she lowers the bat) Really? Nobody has noticed before.
Link: I don't know how. Your eyes are like the color of the sea.
Malon: (giggles) You sure have a way with words.
Navi: (disturbed) Um. Yes. You aren't mad at Link about the Cucco anymore?
Malon: Cucco? Oh yes. The cucco. I couldn't be mad at such a sweet boy.
Link: (blushes)
Malon: I want you to meet my horse Link. Her name is Epona.
(The trio begins to walk towards a young brown horse with white patches).
Epona: neigh.
Malon: This is Epona.
Link: Hi Epona! (tries to pet the horse but ends up getting kicked in the groin).
Malon: Isn't she sweet? I think she doesn't' like you very much though.
Link: (on the ground holding his crotch) Whatever gave you that idea?
Malon: I know how you can win her trust! I can teach you to play a song that I have sang to Epona since she was born. It's called Epona's song.
(Link gets out his ocarina and Malon teaches him to play "Epona's Song")
Malon: Now whenever you play this song. Epona will come running to you.
Link: Goody!!
Navi: Malon. We must be on our way.
Link: We'll come by again really soon.
Malon: Okay. But promise me that you won't go into a deep sleep in a sacred realm for seven years before you come by again.
Link: What are the chances of that happening?
Navi: Interesting. Lets go!
(Link and Navi start walking towards Kakariko village. Link suddenly gets an idea).
Link: Navi. Before we go get the second spiritual stone. Can we stop by and see Saria?
Navi: (sighs) Why? We have stuff to do.
Link: I just have to see her again.
Navi: Awww. You miss her?
Link: Well. I guess. But I mostly want to see if she recorded that show I show I asked her to record.
Navi: Oh goddesses Link.
Link: Please Navi.
Navi: Fine. But we're going to have to be quick.
Link: YAY!
Navi: The things I do for that boy (sighs).
(Navi and Link reach Kokiri forest and arrives at Saria's house).
Link: Hmmm. Saria isn't here. I wonder where she can be.
Navi: She has to be around here somewhere. Lets go find someone to ask.
Random Kokiri: You can ask Mido. He should know where Saria went. He's always stalking her around.
Link: Where is he?
Kokiri: Sulking in his house.
Navi: Guess we'll have to ask Mido (starts heading for Mido's house).
Link: (grumbles) Great. Just wonderful. Now I get to listen to him tell me how I killed the Deku Tree.
Navi: Just ignore him. Here we are. (Gets ready to knock on the door).
Link: Bah. Lets just go inside. He's an ass anyways and doesn't deserve any courtesy (walks into Mido's house without knocking).
Mido: Haven't you heard of knocking you Deku Tree killer?
Link: (blinks) Knocking? What's that?
Navi: Mido. We're looking for Saria. Any idea where she is?
Mido: Mmmmmmm maybe.
Link: Oh come one. Just tell us.
Mido: Nope.
Link: Please?
Mido: Why should I?
Link: Because I said so. (draws his sword and glares at Mido).
Mido: Nope. I refuse to tell you that Saria is in the Sacred Meadow that is hidden in the lost forest.
Link: Awww. Why not Mido? We need to find her.
Navi: Link? He just told us where she is. Without meaning to of course.
Mido: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Dammit!
Link: Heheheheheh. See you around you dumbass.
(Link and Navi find there way to the lost forest and start going down the tunnels looking for the sacred meadow).
Link: Navi. We've been walking around here for three hours and we still haven't found our way to Saria. We keep ending back at the start.
Navi: Oh goddesses. Why do you need to talk to her?! We'll never find our way out.
A voice: Or will you?
Link: That voice? It sounds so terrifying yet familiar.
Voice: Heehee. Look up here Link.
Link and Navi: AAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! It's Kaepora Gaebora!!
Kaepora Gaebora: Heehee. You two are making me laugh. You should realize by now that I'm going to stalk you until the day you die.
Link: (drops to knees) WHYYYYYYYYY?!
KG: I notice that you are lost. I know a way that can help you.
Navi: Wonderful. We're done for.
KG: Just go down the tunnel that has music coming out of it.
(Sure enough throughout the entire lost forest area a song is playing loudly enough for our heroes to hear).
KG: So just follow the sound of music and you should get out of here just fine.
Navi: That's the best advice he has given us on this entire trip.
KG: Do you want me to repeat myself?
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KG: Alright then. I'll be seeing you later. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Navi: Oh man. That guy scares the hell out of me.
Link: Uh yea. Lets just go before he decides to come back and bother us again.
(The two of them eventually find their way through the lost forest and are about to go through a maze that they need to go through to get to the sacred meadow).
Navi: Oh great. A maze. We're guaranteed to get lost here.
Link: Bah. We won't get lost here.
Navi: Link. This maze has the word LOST written all over it.
Link: Really? Where?
Navi: Just go (Gives Link a push).
Link: There's not much in here. Just several patches of orange leaves on the ground.
Navi: LINK! THOSE ARE DEKU SCRUBS!
Link: What? (gets hit by a nut) what the.
(In front of them a small Deku scrub pops up from the orange patch of leaves on the ground and begins shooting nuts at Link).
Link: OUCH! Damn thing. OUCH!
Navi: Use your shield you idiot!
Link: (pulls his shield in front of him and the nut bounces off and hits the Deku Scrub in the head).
Deku Scrub: OUCH! I'm telling my mommy!!! (runs away crying)
(The two eventually make their way through the maze and climbs a set of stairs. The music that has been playing throughout the entire lost forest is getting louder).
Link: So that's where that music is coming from. (Points to a nearby log).
Navi: It's Saria.
Link: Hey Saria!
Saria: Hi Link. I'm glad you stopped by to visit.
Link: Yea. I'm on my way to Death Mountain.
Saria: That's cool. I'm just sitting here playing my ocarina. Care to join me?
Link: Sure. Why not?
(Saria and Link begins to play the Lost Forest song, which is called Saria's Song).
Saria: Wow Link. You're getting pretty good. This song we just played has weird powers. If you ever want to speak to me just play this song.
Link: Oh cool. I won't have to walk all the way down here to talk to you then.
Saria: Uh yea. Whatever.
Link: I better get going now. I have some saving to do.
Saria: Alright. Good luck Link.
Link: Thanks Saria. Bye.
(The two leave the sacred meadow. An hour later they arrive at the steps leading up to Kakariko village).
Link: Dammit!
Navi: What's wrong Link?
Link: I forgot to ask Saria if she recorded my show.
(Before heading off for Kakariko Village. Link and Navi decide to stop by Lon Lon Ranch to pay Malon a visit and to see if her father returned home).
Link: I can't wait till we see Malon. She was kind've cute.
Navi: Yea. Whatever. We need to give her the cucco back while we are visiting her. Well here we are.
Link: Pretty nice place. Oooh. Look at the horsies!
Navi: Uh yea. Great. Lets find Malon and get out of here.
Link: What's that noise?
Navi: I don't hear anything.
Link: Shhh. (in the distance a sound of somebody singing is heard).
Navi: It's coming from that fenced up area. Lets go check it out.
Link: (spots the singer) Hey. It's Malon! Hi Malon!! (waves)
Malon: (smiles and waves back) Hello fairy boy. I want to thank you for finding my father.
Link: (blushes) It was no problem. None at all.
Malon: You had no problems waking him up?
Link: Nope. The cucco woke him up pretty quickly.
Malon: Oh! Do you have my cucco? I need it back.
Link: . . . .
Malon: Um Link? I need my cucco.
Link: Cucco? What cucco?
Malon: Link? What happened to my cucco?
Link: (burps)
Malon: (eyes widen) You didn't!!
Link: (burps again)
Navi: (groans) He did!
Malon: (grabs Link by the shoulders and begins to shake him) HOW COULD YOU EAT MY CUCCO?!?!? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR A FAMILY FRIEND!!!!
Link: It was just a cucco. You can always get another one. (falls down on his butt).
Malon: (eye begins to twitch) Another one huh? You're going to regret saying that.(grabs a bat and is about to hit Link in the head).
Link: My Malon. You have such beautiful eyes.
Navi: Link. That isn't going to work. You're screwed. Get used to it.
Malon: (faces brightens up and she lowers the bat) Really? Nobody has noticed before.
Link: I don't know how. Your eyes are like the color of the sea.
Malon: (giggles) You sure have a way with words.
Navi: (disturbed) Um. Yes. You aren't mad at Link about the Cucco anymore?
Malon: Cucco? Oh yes. The cucco. I couldn't be mad at such a sweet boy.
Link: (blushes)
Malon: I want you to meet my horse Link. Her name is Epona.
(The trio begins to walk towards a young brown horse with white patches).
Epona: neigh.
Malon: This is Epona.
Link: Hi Epona! (tries to pet the horse but ends up getting kicked in the groin).
Malon: Isn't she sweet? I think she doesn't' like you very much though.
Link: (on the ground holding his crotch) Whatever gave you that idea?
Malon: I know how you can win her trust! I can teach you to play a song that I have sang to Epona since she was born. It's called Epona's song.
(Link gets out his ocarina and Malon teaches him to play "Epona's Song")
Malon: Now whenever you play this song. Epona will come running to you.
Link: Goody!!
Navi: Malon. We must be on our way.
Link: We'll come by again really soon.
Malon: Okay. But promise me that you won't go into a deep sleep in a sacred realm for seven years before you come by again.
Link: What are the chances of that happening?
Navi: Interesting. Lets go!
(Link and Navi start walking towards Kakariko village. Link suddenly gets an idea).
Link: Navi. Before we go get the second spiritual stone. Can we stop by and see Saria?
Navi: (sighs) Why? We have stuff to do.
Link: I just have to see her again.
Navi: Awww. You miss her?
Link: Well. I guess. But I mostly want to see if she recorded that show I show I asked her to record.
Navi: Oh goddesses Link.
Link: Please Navi.
Navi: Fine. But we're going to have to be quick.
Link: YAY!
Navi: The things I do for that boy (sighs).
(Navi and Link reach Kokiri forest and arrives at Saria's house).
Link: Hmmm. Saria isn't here. I wonder where she can be.
Navi: She has to be around here somewhere. Lets go find someone to ask.
Random Kokiri: You can ask Mido. He should know where Saria went. He's always stalking her around.
Link: Where is he?
Kokiri: Sulking in his house.
Navi: Guess we'll have to ask Mido (starts heading for Mido's house).
Link: (grumbles) Great. Just wonderful. Now I get to listen to him tell me how I killed the Deku Tree.
Navi: Just ignore him. Here we are. (Gets ready to knock on the door).
Link: Bah. Lets just go inside. He's an ass anyways and doesn't deserve any courtesy (walks into Mido's house without knocking).
Mido: Haven't you heard of knocking you Deku Tree killer?
Link: (blinks) Knocking? What's that?
Navi: Mido. We're looking for Saria. Any idea where she is?
Mido: Mmmmmmm maybe.
Link: Oh come one. Just tell us.
Mido: Nope.
Link: Please?
Mido: Why should I?
Link: Because I said so. (draws his sword and glares at Mido).
Mido: Nope. I refuse to tell you that Saria is in the Sacred Meadow that is hidden in the lost forest.
Link: Awww. Why not Mido? We need to find her.
Navi: Link? He just told us where she is. Without meaning to of course.
Mido: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Dammit!
Link: Heheheheheh. See you around you dumbass.
(Link and Navi find there way to the lost forest and start going down the tunnels looking for the sacred meadow).
Link: Navi. We've been walking around here for three hours and we still haven't found our way to Saria. We keep ending back at the start.
Navi: Oh goddesses. Why do you need to talk to her?! We'll never find our way out.
A voice: Or will you?
Link: That voice? It sounds so terrifying yet familiar.
Voice: Heehee. Look up here Link.
Link and Navi: AAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! It's Kaepora Gaebora!!
Kaepora Gaebora: Heehee. You two are making me laugh. You should realize by now that I'm going to stalk you until the day you die.
Link: (drops to knees) WHYYYYYYYYY?!
KG: I notice that you are lost. I know a way that can help you.
Navi: Wonderful. We're done for.
KG: Just go down the tunnel that has music coming out of it.
(Sure enough throughout the entire lost forest area a song is playing loudly enough for our heroes to hear).
KG: So just follow the sound of music and you should get out of here just fine.
Navi: That's the best advice he has given us on this entire trip.
KG: Do you want me to repeat myself?
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KG: Alright then. I'll be seeing you later. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Navi: Oh man. That guy scares the hell out of me.
Link: Uh yea. Lets just go before he decides to come back and bother us again.
(The two of them eventually find their way through the lost forest and are about to go through a maze that they need to go through to get to the sacred meadow).
Navi: Oh great. A maze. We're guaranteed to get lost here.
Link: Bah. We won't get lost here.
Navi: Link. This maze has the word LOST written all over it.
Link: Really? Where?
Navi: Just go (Gives Link a push).
Link: There's not much in here. Just several patches of orange leaves on the ground.
Navi: LINK! THOSE ARE DEKU SCRUBS!
Link: What? (gets hit by a nut) what the.
(In front of them a small Deku scrub pops up from the orange patch of leaves on the ground and begins shooting nuts at Link).
Link: OUCH! Damn thing. OUCH!
Navi: Use your shield you idiot!
Link: (pulls his shield in front of him and the nut bounces off and hits the Deku Scrub in the head).
Deku Scrub: OUCH! I'm telling my mommy!!! (runs away crying)
(The two eventually make their way through the maze and climbs a set of stairs. The music that has been playing throughout the entire lost forest is getting louder).
Link: So that's where that music is coming from. (Points to a nearby log).
Navi: It's Saria.
Link: Hey Saria!
Saria: Hi Link. I'm glad you stopped by to visit.
Link: Yea. I'm on my way to Death Mountain.
Saria: That's cool. I'm just sitting here playing my ocarina. Care to join me?
Link: Sure. Why not?
(Saria and Link begins to play the Lost Forest song, which is called Saria's Song).
Saria: Wow Link. You're getting pretty good. This song we just played has weird powers. If you ever want to speak to me just play this song.
Link: Oh cool. I won't have to walk all the way down here to talk to you then.
Saria: Uh yea. Whatever.
Link: I better get going now. I have some saving to do.
Saria: Alright. Good luck Link.
Link: Thanks Saria. Bye.
(The two leave the sacred meadow. An hour later they arrive at the steps leading up to Kakariko village).
Link: Dammit!
Navi: What's wrong Link?
Link: I forgot to ask Saria if she recorded my show.