Chapter 13 – Ambrosia and the Potions Master
Glynis was well enough to join her former classmates for the evening's feast at the palace later on. Oliver sat next to her looked after her welfare, including feeding her (she walloped him a few times in response, although she could not wipe the grin off her face).
Interestingly enough, several of the Priestesses-in-training sat amid the group of Hogwarts students and discussed history and points of interest in exchange for stories about Great Britain. Draco seemed pleased to have three girls attending to his every whim, his father's smirk plastered across his young face, while Harry nervously accepted the attentions of seven girls who wanted to kiss the scar on his forehead for some reason. Ron (his shirt reading 'Hee-hee-hee!') was busy chowing down and telling about his adventures with Harry to any girl that listened.
Hermione made snarling noises every time the girls got too friendly with either Harry or Ron (Hermione was unaware she was being jealous, but it was natural due to her Queen Bee-ism in relation to her two 'sidekicks', whom she subconsciously considered 'her' property). Ginny, on the other hand, was chatting with the girls about the symbolism in their culture. Elizabeth was staring obsessively at her teacher's nephews Damon and Dorian, both surrounded by many older teenage girls who had no problem doting on them.
The twins were both busy wooing Ophelia, who seemed to be enjoying the attention more than she should. She offered them sips of her wine until her aunt caught them at a slightly buzzed stage - not quite different from their normal energy levels, save that they were now singing 'Mademoiselle from Armetieres' in very loud voices in the original French, which delighted Ophelia to no end.
Dorian sidled up to his aunt, wine glass in hand, and remarked, "There's a rumor going about the family that you and the gentlemen-chaperone are intimately involved."
She thunked her finger into the center of his forehead. "Nephew, that's no way to speak to your old widowed auntie."
"You're only ten years older than me, 'auntie'," he reminded her. "And I think it's a great idea that you're joining the human race again. You were always happiest when you had a family to look after."
Britomartis glanced up to see Severus talking with one of the High Priestesses, his face serious and cold, as if he were back at the school. "It's nothing like that, Dorian."
"Then why were you sneaking into his room last night - "
She yanked down on his tunic front, smiling sweetly. "I don't think it was anyone's business why I was visiting my best friend in the middle of the night."
She released him and he stood up. "Martis," he said. "I know it's none of my business, but it's so plainly obvious it has to be pointed out to you because you're being thick - "
"I don't care," she interrupted him. "It's none of anyone's business."
He swallowed some wine, then grinned and said, "All right." He kissed her forehead and added, "Have fun."
"I'm sure."
Dorian got up and made his way back to his brother, whom was knocking the Weasley twins' heads together for trying to chat up their sister Ophelia. "Hey, siblings of mine, is everything ready?"
Ophelia lifted up the bottle. "All ready to serve." She giggled excitedly. "Auntie Martis is going to have a great time!"
"Don't give him too much!" Dorian warned her as she skittered across the room.
Ophelia smiled prettily and approached the male chaperone, a glass in one hand and a wine bottle in the other. "Professor Snake?"
"Snape," he automatically replied. "Ophelia Vox, correct?"
"Yes, sorry about your name - thinking about ... ah, nevermind. You don't look like you're enjoying yourself much."
"Parties were never my forte, Miss Vox." He smiled briefly. "I was usually the one tying shoelaces together when Martis and I were kids."
Ophelia giggled, opening the bottle. "Well, enjoy the adults' portion now. Please, have a glass of Ambrosia." She poured some electric blue liquid into the glass.
"Ambrosia?" he asked, accepting the glass. He studied it then commented, "It looks like pixie urine."
"Rest assured it is a wine of Crete," she replied.
He raised it and sniffed. "Smells rather fruity ... a bit of citrus overlaying the grapes - "
"Oh, have some already!" she chided. "You don't have to be a Potions Master all the time. Besides, it won't hurt you."
Snape eyed her, then sipped a small bit, tasting it on his tongue. He found the flavor a little tart - he swallowed - with an aftertaste of lime and coconut.
"Not bad," he remarked, downing the rest.
* * *
Britomartis was getting tired, the lack of sleep from the night before finally catching up with her. She needed to herd her students back to the house and make sure they get rest for the next day of the festival.
A commotion occurred on the other side of the room, several voices egging on someone to sing. She sighed, stretching. "Sounds like someone got into the Ambrosia." She glanced at the children, still hanging with the junior Priestesses and gabbing away.
Suddenly, Snape's voice broke out in his best Master-of-the-Dungeons voice:
"I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me ... "
Britomartis jumped to her feet, Snookie-poo slipping to the floor. "Oh, Great Mother!"
Severus Snape was up on a table, swaying like a drunken toadstool, half- done unbuttoning his suit coat.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts - "
Several of the younger party members giggled. Martis grabbed the nearest one. "What happened??"
"Looks like your buddy got into the Ambrosia, Lady Britomartis."
"And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan New York and Japan - "
He tossed his coat into the crowd, which snatched out of the air by Elizabeth. "Professor Snape!" she shrieked. "This is no way for the Master of Slytherin House to behave!"
He continued to dance (well, what could be called dancing with the way he was imitating a dog walking after neuter surgery) in his black trousers and white dress shirt.
"And I'm too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party No way I'm disco dancing - "
"I'm going to kill whomever got him tanked!" Britomartis snarled.
He grabbed her arm and dragged her up on the table.
"I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk - "
"Severus, get a hold of yourself!" she ordered. "Miss Ryper - put that money away!"
"I just wanted to put it in his waistband," Glynis stated.
Oliver pulled her back down next to him, quieting her by enclosing his mouth over hers. She did not object.
Britomartis was about to tell them to cool it, but Severus pulled her into another verse.
"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car Too sexy by far And I'm too sexy for my hat Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that - "
"Severus, will you stop this - WHOA, BOY, watch the hands!"
"Go aunt Martis!" an anonymous nephew yelled.
"I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk - "
"Shake it, sir!"
"Twenty points off Gryffindor, Frick and Frack!"
"WHAT??"
"Cuz I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk - "
"I WANT A MEMORY CHARM!" the trio of Harry, Ron, and Hermione shouted.
"I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat Poor pussy poor pussy cat I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me - "
Severus Snape suddenly passed out into dreamland, falling into Britomartis' arms.
Everyone politely applauded. Britomartis glared at the lot. "As soon as I find out who gave him Ambrosia, I'm going to knock some heads together!"
He raised his head and looked into her face, his eyes completely dilated. "Spirals, take me to bed, please, I can't seem to find the floor."
She hopped off the table with him and pulled him out of the room, then into the fresh air outside the palace. "Oh, Snips, you poor thing. You weren't supposed to have Ambrosia!"
He began to sing in a drunken slur:
"Show me the way to go home I'm tired and I want to go to bed I had a little drink about an hour ago to celebrate Spirals' ... uh, what rhymes with 'bed', sweetie?"
"Snips!"
He spread his arms out, grinning silly. "Whee! I'm flying!"
"Like the eagle," she added, dragging him across the courtyard. "Come on, darling, you have to help me - I can't haul you home by myself."
Severus felt for the ground, placed a foot down, then promptly collapsing like gelatin. "Oops. I swear to drunk I'm not God!"
"Of course not," she replied, suppressing a smile amid her worry and anger. "Even Dionysis knew where the ground was."
He softly crooned another song in a thick Islands accent:
"She put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' togeder she put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' up She put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' togeder put de lime in de coconut, call de doctor woke him up, an' say Doctor! Ain't der notin I can take, I say Doctor! to relieve dis belly ache, I say Doctor! ain't der notin I can take, I say Doctor! To relieve my belly ache?"
"Yup, Ambrosia poisoning," she muttered. "Snips, I think it bears repeating - you're a lousy singer."
He giggled, trying to climb the steps up to the Vox estate. "Aw, you jus' jealous, baby." He paused. "I can't see anything."
"Your hair's in your face."
"Oh." He giggled again. "Spirals-love, wanna bleach the Quidditch field with the words 'Marauders like inflatable sheep'?"
"We're not at the school right now, honey."
"Oh, too bad." He shrugged. "Oh, well - in my state I'd do it ba-a-a-dly." He burst into braying laughter.
"If you weren't plastered, I'd hit you for making puns."
"I really should be pun-ished," he snickered. "Fifty tongue-lashes maybe?"
Britomartis rolled her eyes, towing him into the house. "You need to quiet down, Severus."
"Why?"
"We're in the house and people are sleeping."
He thought about it, then yelled, "HEY, SAPHIRA! YEAH - I'M GONNA DEFILE YOUR SEXY-AS-HELL DAUGHTER IN TWO HUNDRED WAYS TONIGHT, SO DON'T BOTHER GETTING UP!"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!"
"NO! I don't care what the old biddy hears! She doesn't care one way or another!" He clutched the stairway bannister to balance himself. "Whoa - the stairs tried to run for it!"
"Idiot," she muttered, draping part of him over her shoulder. "Come along, Professor Severely Sotted - we're going to get you a reserved seat for Worshipping the Porcelain Goddess during her morning services."
"Yay!"
At the top of the stairs, a fiery blue light appeared.
Britomartis and Severus looked up to see Saphira Vox at the top of the staircase, a fully-functional battle-axe in her hands, and her body outlined in blue flames.
"Get - away - from - my - daughter!" the old woman intoned.
Severus pulled away from Britomartis and stood as straight as he could. "Ah, so mommy-dearest does care after all."
"Saphira, what are you doing?" Britomartis asked.
"I heard what that monster said - don't think I can lie in bed while such things go on under my roof!"
"Saphira, he's pasted out of his gourd, he doesn't know what he's talking about - "
He turned to her and stated, "Spirals, keep out of this." He swung his head around back to the mother, his finger pointing drunkenly at her. "YOU - have no say in what happens. You gave up that right a long time ago."
Britomartis looked up. "Saphira, please, I need to get him into bed and try to counteract the effects of the Ambrosia. We can discuss your belated maternal instincts later."
"I'm coming with you," she stated as she lowered the battle-axe into 'alert' stance. "I'm not going to let anything happen - men act weird on Ambrosia." The flames died around her body and she allowed them up the stairs. "It was involved with your conception."
Britomartis dragged Severus up the stairs as he said, "Oh, I get it. You got wasted on the stuff and ended up swinging from the chandeliers all night."
"No, Eugenius did. We had planned on twelve children, it seemed my Crone- aspect was approaching - "
"Huh?"
Britomartis explained, "Menopause." Saphira opened the door to Snape's room before her daughter added, "Are you telling me that Eugenius got drunk and raped you?"
"Well, he did get drunk ... and we didn't think it would matter ... Then it turned out there was some Life-Force left and you were conceived."
Britomartis dumped Severus into his bed face-first. "I was an ACCIDENT??"
"Well if you were you planned for you would have been treated better, wouldn't you have?" the old woman snapped back.
"She's got a point," Severus commented into the mattress as he raised his hand.
Britomartis snorted, rolling him over and scooting him upright in the bed. "Fine, I was an unwanted pregnancy resulting from a drunken orgy. Could have had the decency to drop me off with the merpeople."
"I considered it," Saphira replied soberly as she took Severus' shoes off. "I still have no idea why I kept you."
"Well, I needed her," Severus added. "She kept me sane all through school - I would have either committed suicide or killed my tormentors if she hadn't been there."
"You still ended up summoning Belial," Britomartis reminded him. "If Lily Evans hadn't conned James Potter into saving you, your father would have killed you. "
"Well, you were gone and the Marauders had finally pushed me over the edge." He sat up and embraced her, holding her close. "Saphira, Martis was the only friend I had all through school who gave a damn about me. When I went home, I got beaten into unconsciousness by my father. It was the joke of the school - 'Snape is such a git, his own father hates him'. Well, I would have traded my eyeteeth to be simply ignored and neglected, parents like you would have been a Godsend. But Martis was too good for you; if you hadn't sent her away to Beauxbatons - "
"Where?" Saphira asked in confusion.
"The French academy," Britomartis reminded her. "When I was thirteen you pulled me out of Hogwarts and sent me to Beauxbatons."
Saphira's blue eyes narrowed. "None of my children, no matter what status, would ever go to Beauxbatons. Every child of mine went to Hogwarts."
"Well, I was shipped to Beauxbatons."
"Britomartis, I never sent you away to France, I know that much."
Severus looked up at Britomartis, his expression as close to sobriety as he could get in his state. "Spirals?"
She squeezed his hand. "Get some sleep, Snips. I'm going to do a little investigating." She looked up at the old woman. "Saphira, I'm going to need your help."
Glynis was well enough to join her former classmates for the evening's feast at the palace later on. Oliver sat next to her looked after her welfare, including feeding her (she walloped him a few times in response, although she could not wipe the grin off her face).
Interestingly enough, several of the Priestesses-in-training sat amid the group of Hogwarts students and discussed history and points of interest in exchange for stories about Great Britain. Draco seemed pleased to have three girls attending to his every whim, his father's smirk plastered across his young face, while Harry nervously accepted the attentions of seven girls who wanted to kiss the scar on his forehead for some reason. Ron (his shirt reading 'Hee-hee-hee!') was busy chowing down and telling about his adventures with Harry to any girl that listened.
Hermione made snarling noises every time the girls got too friendly with either Harry or Ron (Hermione was unaware she was being jealous, but it was natural due to her Queen Bee-ism in relation to her two 'sidekicks', whom she subconsciously considered 'her' property). Ginny, on the other hand, was chatting with the girls about the symbolism in their culture. Elizabeth was staring obsessively at her teacher's nephews Damon and Dorian, both surrounded by many older teenage girls who had no problem doting on them.
The twins were both busy wooing Ophelia, who seemed to be enjoying the attention more than she should. She offered them sips of her wine until her aunt caught them at a slightly buzzed stage - not quite different from their normal energy levels, save that they were now singing 'Mademoiselle from Armetieres' in very loud voices in the original French, which delighted Ophelia to no end.
Dorian sidled up to his aunt, wine glass in hand, and remarked, "There's a rumor going about the family that you and the gentlemen-chaperone are intimately involved."
She thunked her finger into the center of his forehead. "Nephew, that's no way to speak to your old widowed auntie."
"You're only ten years older than me, 'auntie'," he reminded her. "And I think it's a great idea that you're joining the human race again. You were always happiest when you had a family to look after."
Britomartis glanced up to see Severus talking with one of the High Priestesses, his face serious and cold, as if he were back at the school. "It's nothing like that, Dorian."
"Then why were you sneaking into his room last night - "
She yanked down on his tunic front, smiling sweetly. "I don't think it was anyone's business why I was visiting my best friend in the middle of the night."
She released him and he stood up. "Martis," he said. "I know it's none of my business, but it's so plainly obvious it has to be pointed out to you because you're being thick - "
"I don't care," she interrupted him. "It's none of anyone's business."
He swallowed some wine, then grinned and said, "All right." He kissed her forehead and added, "Have fun."
"I'm sure."
Dorian got up and made his way back to his brother, whom was knocking the Weasley twins' heads together for trying to chat up their sister Ophelia. "Hey, siblings of mine, is everything ready?"
Ophelia lifted up the bottle. "All ready to serve." She giggled excitedly. "Auntie Martis is going to have a great time!"
"Don't give him too much!" Dorian warned her as she skittered across the room.
Ophelia smiled prettily and approached the male chaperone, a glass in one hand and a wine bottle in the other. "Professor Snake?"
"Snape," he automatically replied. "Ophelia Vox, correct?"
"Yes, sorry about your name - thinking about ... ah, nevermind. You don't look like you're enjoying yourself much."
"Parties were never my forte, Miss Vox." He smiled briefly. "I was usually the one tying shoelaces together when Martis and I were kids."
Ophelia giggled, opening the bottle. "Well, enjoy the adults' portion now. Please, have a glass of Ambrosia." She poured some electric blue liquid into the glass.
"Ambrosia?" he asked, accepting the glass. He studied it then commented, "It looks like pixie urine."
"Rest assured it is a wine of Crete," she replied.
He raised it and sniffed. "Smells rather fruity ... a bit of citrus overlaying the grapes - "
"Oh, have some already!" she chided. "You don't have to be a Potions Master all the time. Besides, it won't hurt you."
Snape eyed her, then sipped a small bit, tasting it on his tongue. He found the flavor a little tart - he swallowed - with an aftertaste of lime and coconut.
"Not bad," he remarked, downing the rest.
* * *
Britomartis was getting tired, the lack of sleep from the night before finally catching up with her. She needed to herd her students back to the house and make sure they get rest for the next day of the festival.
A commotion occurred on the other side of the room, several voices egging on someone to sing. She sighed, stretching. "Sounds like someone got into the Ambrosia." She glanced at the children, still hanging with the junior Priestesses and gabbing away.
Suddenly, Snape's voice broke out in his best Master-of-the-Dungeons voice:
"I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me ... "
Britomartis jumped to her feet, Snookie-poo slipping to the floor. "Oh, Great Mother!"
Severus Snape was up on a table, swaying like a drunken toadstool, half- done unbuttoning his suit coat.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts - "
Several of the younger party members giggled. Martis grabbed the nearest one. "What happened??"
"Looks like your buddy got into the Ambrosia, Lady Britomartis."
"And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan New York and Japan - "
He tossed his coat into the crowd, which snatched out of the air by Elizabeth. "Professor Snape!" she shrieked. "This is no way for the Master of Slytherin House to behave!"
He continued to dance (well, what could be called dancing with the way he was imitating a dog walking after neuter surgery) in his black trousers and white dress shirt.
"And I'm too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party No way I'm disco dancing - "
"I'm going to kill whomever got him tanked!" Britomartis snarled.
He grabbed her arm and dragged her up on the table.
"I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk - "
"Severus, get a hold of yourself!" she ordered. "Miss Ryper - put that money away!"
"I just wanted to put it in his waistband," Glynis stated.
Oliver pulled her back down next to him, quieting her by enclosing his mouth over hers. She did not object.
Britomartis was about to tell them to cool it, but Severus pulled her into another verse.
"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car Too sexy by far And I'm too sexy for my hat Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that - "
"Severus, will you stop this - WHOA, BOY, watch the hands!"
"Go aunt Martis!" an anonymous nephew yelled.
"I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk - "
"Shake it, sir!"
"Twenty points off Gryffindor, Frick and Frack!"
"WHAT??"
"Cuz I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk - "
"I WANT A MEMORY CHARM!" the trio of Harry, Ron, and Hermione shouted.
"I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat Poor pussy poor pussy cat I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me - "
Severus Snape suddenly passed out into dreamland, falling into Britomartis' arms.
Everyone politely applauded. Britomartis glared at the lot. "As soon as I find out who gave him Ambrosia, I'm going to knock some heads together!"
He raised his head and looked into her face, his eyes completely dilated. "Spirals, take me to bed, please, I can't seem to find the floor."
She hopped off the table with him and pulled him out of the room, then into the fresh air outside the palace. "Oh, Snips, you poor thing. You weren't supposed to have Ambrosia!"
He began to sing in a drunken slur:
"Show me the way to go home I'm tired and I want to go to bed I had a little drink about an hour ago to celebrate Spirals' ... uh, what rhymes with 'bed', sweetie?"
"Snips!"
He spread his arms out, grinning silly. "Whee! I'm flying!"
"Like the eagle," she added, dragging him across the courtyard. "Come on, darling, you have to help me - I can't haul you home by myself."
Severus felt for the ground, placed a foot down, then promptly collapsing like gelatin. "Oops. I swear to drunk I'm not God!"
"Of course not," she replied, suppressing a smile amid her worry and anger. "Even Dionysis knew where the ground was."
He softly crooned another song in a thick Islands accent:
"She put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' togeder she put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' up She put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' togeder put de lime in de coconut, call de doctor woke him up, an' say Doctor! Ain't der notin I can take, I say Doctor! to relieve dis belly ache, I say Doctor! ain't der notin I can take, I say Doctor! To relieve my belly ache?"
"Yup, Ambrosia poisoning," she muttered. "Snips, I think it bears repeating - you're a lousy singer."
He giggled, trying to climb the steps up to the Vox estate. "Aw, you jus' jealous, baby." He paused. "I can't see anything."
"Your hair's in your face."
"Oh." He giggled again. "Spirals-love, wanna bleach the Quidditch field with the words 'Marauders like inflatable sheep'?"
"We're not at the school right now, honey."
"Oh, too bad." He shrugged. "Oh, well - in my state I'd do it ba-a-a-dly." He burst into braying laughter.
"If you weren't plastered, I'd hit you for making puns."
"I really should be pun-ished," he snickered. "Fifty tongue-lashes maybe?"
Britomartis rolled her eyes, towing him into the house. "You need to quiet down, Severus."
"Why?"
"We're in the house and people are sleeping."
He thought about it, then yelled, "HEY, SAPHIRA! YEAH - I'M GONNA DEFILE YOUR SEXY-AS-HELL DAUGHTER IN TWO HUNDRED WAYS TONIGHT, SO DON'T BOTHER GETTING UP!"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!"
"NO! I don't care what the old biddy hears! She doesn't care one way or another!" He clutched the stairway bannister to balance himself. "Whoa - the stairs tried to run for it!"
"Idiot," she muttered, draping part of him over her shoulder. "Come along, Professor Severely Sotted - we're going to get you a reserved seat for Worshipping the Porcelain Goddess during her morning services."
"Yay!"
At the top of the stairs, a fiery blue light appeared.
Britomartis and Severus looked up to see Saphira Vox at the top of the staircase, a fully-functional battle-axe in her hands, and her body outlined in blue flames.
"Get - away - from - my - daughter!" the old woman intoned.
Severus pulled away from Britomartis and stood as straight as he could. "Ah, so mommy-dearest does care after all."
"Saphira, what are you doing?" Britomartis asked.
"I heard what that monster said - don't think I can lie in bed while such things go on under my roof!"
"Saphira, he's pasted out of his gourd, he doesn't know what he's talking about - "
He turned to her and stated, "Spirals, keep out of this." He swung his head around back to the mother, his finger pointing drunkenly at her. "YOU - have no say in what happens. You gave up that right a long time ago."
Britomartis looked up. "Saphira, please, I need to get him into bed and try to counteract the effects of the Ambrosia. We can discuss your belated maternal instincts later."
"I'm coming with you," she stated as she lowered the battle-axe into 'alert' stance. "I'm not going to let anything happen - men act weird on Ambrosia." The flames died around her body and she allowed them up the stairs. "It was involved with your conception."
Britomartis dragged Severus up the stairs as he said, "Oh, I get it. You got wasted on the stuff and ended up swinging from the chandeliers all night."
"No, Eugenius did. We had planned on twelve children, it seemed my Crone- aspect was approaching - "
"Huh?"
Britomartis explained, "Menopause." Saphira opened the door to Snape's room before her daughter added, "Are you telling me that Eugenius got drunk and raped you?"
"Well, he did get drunk ... and we didn't think it would matter ... Then it turned out there was some Life-Force left and you were conceived."
Britomartis dumped Severus into his bed face-first. "I was an ACCIDENT??"
"Well if you were you planned for you would have been treated better, wouldn't you have?" the old woman snapped back.
"She's got a point," Severus commented into the mattress as he raised his hand.
Britomartis snorted, rolling him over and scooting him upright in the bed. "Fine, I was an unwanted pregnancy resulting from a drunken orgy. Could have had the decency to drop me off with the merpeople."
"I considered it," Saphira replied soberly as she took Severus' shoes off. "I still have no idea why I kept you."
"Well, I needed her," Severus added. "She kept me sane all through school - I would have either committed suicide or killed my tormentors if she hadn't been there."
"You still ended up summoning Belial," Britomartis reminded him. "If Lily Evans hadn't conned James Potter into saving you, your father would have killed you. "
"Well, you were gone and the Marauders had finally pushed me over the edge." He sat up and embraced her, holding her close. "Saphira, Martis was the only friend I had all through school who gave a damn about me. When I went home, I got beaten into unconsciousness by my father. It was the joke of the school - 'Snape is such a git, his own father hates him'. Well, I would have traded my eyeteeth to be simply ignored and neglected, parents like you would have been a Godsend. But Martis was too good for you; if you hadn't sent her away to Beauxbatons - "
"Where?" Saphira asked in confusion.
"The French academy," Britomartis reminded her. "When I was thirteen you pulled me out of Hogwarts and sent me to Beauxbatons."
Saphira's blue eyes narrowed. "None of my children, no matter what status, would ever go to Beauxbatons. Every child of mine went to Hogwarts."
"Well, I was shipped to Beauxbatons."
"Britomartis, I never sent you away to France, I know that much."
Severus looked up at Britomartis, his expression as close to sobriety as he could get in his state. "Spirals?"
She squeezed his hand. "Get some sleep, Snips. I'm going to do a little investigating." She looked up at the old woman. "Saphira, I'm going to need your help."