Chapter 10: Jabu Jabu's Belly
Navi: Ruto? Who is that?
Zora: (covers ears) DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME!
Link: Why not?
Zora: She is the princess of the zora's. She is HORRIBLE1.
Navi: Does she torture things for kicks?
Zora: No. she is the biggest brat you'll ever meet.
Link: In what way?
Zora: It is too horrifying to tell. But if you must, I suggest you give that note to King Zora and leave quickly.
Navi: Will the King be able to tell us about the Zora's Sapphire?
Zora: Most likely. Although, it isn't his. It's Princess Ruto's. If you want it you will have to take it up with her but it isn't worth it.
Link: Thanks for your help. We'll be leaving now.
Zora: No problem. (Dives back into the water).
Link: I have a bad feeling about this.
Navi: Well we have to get the last spiritual stone.
Link: True. (dives into the water and goes through the tunnel that leads back to Zora's Domain).
Navi: I guess the King's Chamber is up that path. (points)
Link: How do you know?
Navi: Well for one the sign in front of us says so.
Link: (shrugs)
Navi: Wait up Link!
Link: (walks into the King's throne room) OH ROLLING GORONS! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!
(In front of Link and Navi sits a really really really big fish).
Navi: (nudges Link) That's the king you idiot. Show some respect.
Link: Um hi your majesty.
King Zora: Where is my precious princess Ruto?
Link: Um. We need to ask you about the Zora's Sapphire.
King Zora: Where is my precious princess Ruto?
Link: (stares) Um. I found a bottle in Lake Hylia with a note from her in it.
KG: GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Link: (throws the bottle at the king)
KG: (gets hit in the head) Ouch! (reads the letter) Jabu Jabu! What the hell is she doing in there?
Link: Beats me.
KG: Would you go in and get her for me?
Link: What's in it for me?
KG: Hmm. I can give you a reward.
Link: Spiritual stone?
KG: Yea. Whatever. Let me move out of the way so you can get by. I suggest taking a fish by the way (begins scooting over slooooooooowly).
Link: Um. This is going to take a while. Lets go find a fish Navi.
(The two of them go down the lake at the bottom of Zora's Domain and finds an area where there are tons of fish swimming).
Navi: How are you going to catch a fish without a fishing pole?
Link: (catches a fish with his teeth).
Navi: Ewww. That's nasty.
Link: (rolls eyes and puts the fish in a bottle).
Navi: I think you might want to brush your teeth now.
Link: (puzzled) Why?
Navi: Nevermind. Lets just get back to the King's throne room to see if he is moved out of the way yet.
(They head back and find out that the King only moved 2 inches since they had left).
Navi: (stares) Oh goddesses. We are going to be here for a while.
Link: Lets play a game while we are waiting!
5 Hours Later
Navi: Checkmate!
Link: Checkmate?
Navi: Yea. I just captured your King.
Link: King?
Navi: Well. We ARE playing chess.
Link: CHESS? I thought we were playing checkers.
Navi: Hey look. He's out of the way already.
Link: Great lets go!
(They walk up behind the king and go through the tunnel the king was previously blocking. They find themselves outside in a small area filled with water. In the body of water sits a whale-fish thing).
Link: What the hell is that?
Navi: That's Lord Jabu Jabu.
Link: How are we going to get inside of him with his mouth shut?
Navi: Hmmm. (gets a brainstorm) Dump the fish out in front of him.
Link: (Dumps the fish in front of Jabu Jabu) Well? Nothing is happening!
Jabu: (sniffs) GET IN MAH BELLY!! (sucks Link and Navi up).
Link and Navi: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Navi: (lands on the "ground")
Link: (lands on top of Navi) Navi? Where are you?
Navi: Hphmhmm.
Link: What? (stands up). Oh there you are Navi. (scraps her up off the "ground").
Navi: (sarcastic) Thanks.
Link: Oh you're welcome. Just be careful next time.
Navi: You landed on me!
Link: . . . .
Navi: I'm sorry. Is that taking a minute to comprehend.
Link: . . . .
Navi: Um Link. (snaps her fingers in front of his face).
Link: (snaps out of it) Oh sorry. Hey. We're inside JabuJabu's belly!
Navi: (stares).
Link: Um. Let us go.
(Link and Navi begin their journey through JabuJabu's belly. I'm not going to bother to list all of the rooms because I'm too lazy to write about them all. Anyways, they reach another room where they find a young zora girl).
Zora Girl: Who the hell are you?
Link: Um. I'm Link and this is my fairy Navi. Who the hell are you?
Zora: I am princess Ruto (lightening flashes).
Link: Nice to meet you. I'm here to rescue you.
Ruto: I suppose you are going to get me out of here.
Link: Of course.
Ruto: Over my dead body!
Link: That can be arranged. (draws his sword)
Ruto: Hphm. I came here to find something I lost. I refuse to go back. (turns around to walk away but ends up falling into a hole that is nearby).
Navi: Oh dear. You better follow Link. Link?
Link: (is walking away) You heard her. She doesn't want to leave.
Navi: GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN.
Link: (meekly) Yes ma'm (falls down the hole and lands next to Ruto).
Ruto: You again! Why are you following me?!
Link: Because I'm forced to.
Ruto: Are you that worried about me?
Link: No.
Ruto: That's so sweet. Fine you can come along. But you will have the honors of carrying me (sits down).
Link: You want me to carry you?
Ruto: Did I stutter?
Link: (sighs and picks up Ruto).
Ruto: Onward slave!
Link: (grumbles some things that I will not write).
Navi: Wow. I'd hate to be you right now.
Link: This was your idea.
(They continue on through Jabu's belly and eventually come to a room with these mana-ray type creatures).
Link: Well there's nothing in here. (turns around to walk out only to find the door locked). Awww. Dammit!
Navi: Guess you'll have to fight them. I suggest you use Deku nuts to get them up in the air.
Link: (throws down a Deku nut and all of the mana-ray things popup and come after him). AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THEY ARE STINGING ME!
Navi: Suck it up you big baby!
Link: (eventually beats them). Hey a large treasure chest just popped up!
Navi: What's in it?
Link: I'm about to check. (opens it and pulls out a . . . . . ) IT'S A BOOMERANG NAVI!
Navi: that's great Link. You have another weapon to hurt yourself with.
Link: Onward! (picks Ruto back up and heads out the door).
(They continue on through the belly and end up in an area where they have to fight those three giant worms. Link beats two of them and heads off the fight the third).
Link: BWAHAHAHAHA! YOU ARE GOING DOWN LIKE YOUR BROTHERS WOOOOOOOOOOORM!.
Giant Worm: (cries) What did you do to my brothers?
Link: I killed the bastards.
Giant Worm: I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTARD! (swoons down to attack Link).
Link: (hits the worm with his boomerang several times).
Giant Worm: Woe is me! Death is upon me! ACK! (dies).
Link: I beat him Navi.
Navi: Um Navi. You forgot something.
Link: What? (Gets electrocuted by some jellyfish nearby) OUCH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL! BWAHAHAHAHA! (kills them all).
(They continue their journey and eventually find themselves in a round room with a platform in the middle of the room).
Ruto: MY MOTHER'S STONE! Throw me on the platform!
Link: (gladly does so).
Ruto: (picks up her stone) Wow. I was so upset when Jabu Jabu swallowed this. I had to get it out of here. I finally found it. I no longer need to be here. Take me out of here.
(Suddenly the platform begins to rise up with Ruto still on it. She disappears from sight).
Ruto: (voice from above) AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! What is that? Some kind of octopus?!
(The platform comes back down and in Ruto's place is an octopus with a green spot on its butt).
Link: That's a nice change.
Octo: ROOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!!
Link: EEK! He's scaring me Navi. (begins to cry).
Navi: You need to fight him you idiot. Hit him with your boomerang.
Link: (does so and Octo lies down stunned).
Navi: Great! Now hit his little green ass with your sword.
Link: (does so)
Octo: ROOOOOWR! (gets back up and heads away from Link).
Link: HAH! He's afraid of me!
Navi: Um Link. This is a round room.
Link: So?
Navi: Look behind you.
Link: (turns around).
Octo: Boo.
Link: Ahhhhhhhhhh!! (hits octo with the boomerang again and slashes his butt).
Navi: You're doing great Link!
Link: (hits octo again and slashes at him).
Octo: OWIE I won't be able to sit for a week now. (sniffles and runs away crying). I'm telling baricade on you!
Navi: I thought he was supposed to die.
Link: (shrugs) I still beat him.
Navi: Well. Lets get on the platform.
Link: (jumps onto the platform and the platform raises to a different floor).
Link: Hmmm. Where's Ruto?
Navi: Maybe the octopus thing ate her.
Link: We can only hope.
Navi: LINK! What a horrible thing to say!
Link: (hangs his head down in shame).
Navi: You know that we need to find the sapphire.
Link: (sniffles).
Navi: Why couldn't the damn thing eat her AFTER we go the spiritual stone?
Link: (stares) I thought you were mad at me for insulting Ruto.
Navi: No. Of course not. I could care less about her.
Link: Well. We'll still the stone back.
Navi: Egh. I don't even want to think about it.
(By this time they had reached the door in front of the boss' room).
Navi: Here we are. At the boss' room.
Link: (laughs nervously).
Navi: Lets go in.
Link: (lets out a sigh) Alright.
Navi: What's wrong?
Link: I'm nervous.
Navi: Link. You fought a giant spider and a fire breathing dinosaur.
Link: But. What if I'm fighting a giant Ruto? What if she is the boss here?
Navi: I doubt it. Lets try not to think about it. Now in you go.
(They both walk into the boss' room and finds a huge jellyfish thing with several smaller jellyfish attached to its skin).
Link: Erm?
Navi: I think you have to hit its stems.
Link: What stems?
Navi: The ones at the very top of it. Better hit it with your boomerang quickly before it. . . .
Barinade: Bzzzt! (Electrocutes Link).
Link: Ugh. (begins to sway).
Navi: Stay strong Link and hit the bastard with your boomerang!!
Link: (does so). Great. One down two to go and we should be done with this overgrown jellyfish.
Navi: Great. Just hurry.
Link: (Hits the other one). Look Navi! I did it again!
Navi: Amazing.
Link: (hits the last stem) That should do it. (begins to walk away).
Navi: LINK! HE'S STILL ALIVE! RUN!
Link: (turns around) Eep!
Barinade: (begins spinning in circles like a lunatic and shooting electricity at Link).
Link: (hits him in a soft spot with the boomerang).
Navi: Good job Link! Now destroy all of the jellyfish that just came off of him.
Link: (does so).
Barinade: (Begins spinning around again).
Link: (hits baricade and begins to hack at him with his sword) DIE!!!!
Baricade: (dies)
Link: YAY! I beat another baddie! (begins to dance around).
Navi: There's the portal. Looks like princess Ruto made it out alive.
Ruto: How could you leave me?
Link: Easily.
Ruto: Well. I admit that it looked pretty cool what you did out there. (smiles)
Link: Ugh. Lets just get out of here.
(They vanish in a blue light).
Navi: Ruto? Who is that?
Zora: (covers ears) DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME!
Link: Why not?
Zora: She is the princess of the zora's. She is HORRIBLE1.
Navi: Does she torture things for kicks?
Zora: No. she is the biggest brat you'll ever meet.
Link: In what way?
Zora: It is too horrifying to tell. But if you must, I suggest you give that note to King Zora and leave quickly.
Navi: Will the King be able to tell us about the Zora's Sapphire?
Zora: Most likely. Although, it isn't his. It's Princess Ruto's. If you want it you will have to take it up with her but it isn't worth it.
Link: Thanks for your help. We'll be leaving now.
Zora: No problem. (Dives back into the water).
Link: I have a bad feeling about this.
Navi: Well we have to get the last spiritual stone.
Link: True. (dives into the water and goes through the tunnel that leads back to Zora's Domain).
Navi: I guess the King's Chamber is up that path. (points)
Link: How do you know?
Navi: Well for one the sign in front of us says so.
Link: (shrugs)
Navi: Wait up Link!
Link: (walks into the King's throne room) OH ROLLING GORONS! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!
(In front of Link and Navi sits a really really really big fish).
Navi: (nudges Link) That's the king you idiot. Show some respect.
Link: Um hi your majesty.
King Zora: Where is my precious princess Ruto?
Link: Um. We need to ask you about the Zora's Sapphire.
King Zora: Where is my precious princess Ruto?
Link: (stares) Um. I found a bottle in Lake Hylia with a note from her in it.
KG: GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Link: (throws the bottle at the king)
KG: (gets hit in the head) Ouch! (reads the letter) Jabu Jabu! What the hell is she doing in there?
Link: Beats me.
KG: Would you go in and get her for me?
Link: What's in it for me?
KG: Hmm. I can give you a reward.
Link: Spiritual stone?
KG: Yea. Whatever. Let me move out of the way so you can get by. I suggest taking a fish by the way (begins scooting over slooooooooowly).
Link: Um. This is going to take a while. Lets go find a fish Navi.
(The two of them go down the lake at the bottom of Zora's Domain and finds an area where there are tons of fish swimming).
Navi: How are you going to catch a fish without a fishing pole?
Link: (catches a fish with his teeth).
Navi: Ewww. That's nasty.
Link: (rolls eyes and puts the fish in a bottle).
Navi: I think you might want to brush your teeth now.
Link: (puzzled) Why?
Navi: Nevermind. Lets just get back to the King's throne room to see if he is moved out of the way yet.
(They head back and find out that the King only moved 2 inches since they had left).
Navi: (stares) Oh goddesses. We are going to be here for a while.
Link: Lets play a game while we are waiting!
5 Hours Later
Navi: Checkmate!
Link: Checkmate?
Navi: Yea. I just captured your King.
Link: King?
Navi: Well. We ARE playing chess.
Link: CHESS? I thought we were playing checkers.
Navi: Hey look. He's out of the way already.
Link: Great lets go!
(They walk up behind the king and go through the tunnel the king was previously blocking. They find themselves outside in a small area filled with water. In the body of water sits a whale-fish thing).
Link: What the hell is that?
Navi: That's Lord Jabu Jabu.
Link: How are we going to get inside of him with his mouth shut?
Navi: Hmmm. (gets a brainstorm) Dump the fish out in front of him.
Link: (Dumps the fish in front of Jabu Jabu) Well? Nothing is happening!
Jabu: (sniffs) GET IN MAH BELLY!! (sucks Link and Navi up).
Link and Navi: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Navi: (lands on the "ground")
Link: (lands on top of Navi) Navi? Where are you?
Navi: Hphmhmm.
Link: What? (stands up). Oh there you are Navi. (scraps her up off the "ground").
Navi: (sarcastic) Thanks.
Link: Oh you're welcome. Just be careful next time.
Navi: You landed on me!
Link: . . . .
Navi: I'm sorry. Is that taking a minute to comprehend.
Link: . . . .
Navi: Um Link. (snaps her fingers in front of his face).
Link: (snaps out of it) Oh sorry. Hey. We're inside JabuJabu's belly!
Navi: (stares).
Link: Um. Let us go.
(Link and Navi begin their journey through JabuJabu's belly. I'm not going to bother to list all of the rooms because I'm too lazy to write about them all. Anyways, they reach another room where they find a young zora girl).
Zora Girl: Who the hell are you?
Link: Um. I'm Link and this is my fairy Navi. Who the hell are you?
Zora: I am princess Ruto (lightening flashes).
Link: Nice to meet you. I'm here to rescue you.
Ruto: I suppose you are going to get me out of here.
Link: Of course.
Ruto: Over my dead body!
Link: That can be arranged. (draws his sword)
Ruto: Hphm. I came here to find something I lost. I refuse to go back. (turns around to walk away but ends up falling into a hole that is nearby).
Navi: Oh dear. You better follow Link. Link?
Link: (is walking away) You heard her. She doesn't want to leave.
Navi: GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN.
Link: (meekly) Yes ma'm (falls down the hole and lands next to Ruto).
Ruto: You again! Why are you following me?!
Link: Because I'm forced to.
Ruto: Are you that worried about me?
Link: No.
Ruto: That's so sweet. Fine you can come along. But you will have the honors of carrying me (sits down).
Link: You want me to carry you?
Ruto: Did I stutter?
Link: (sighs and picks up Ruto).
Ruto: Onward slave!
Link: (grumbles some things that I will not write).
Navi: Wow. I'd hate to be you right now.
Link: This was your idea.
(They continue on through Jabu's belly and eventually come to a room with these mana-ray type creatures).
Link: Well there's nothing in here. (turns around to walk out only to find the door locked). Awww. Dammit!
Navi: Guess you'll have to fight them. I suggest you use Deku nuts to get them up in the air.
Link: (throws down a Deku nut and all of the mana-ray things popup and come after him). AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THEY ARE STINGING ME!
Navi: Suck it up you big baby!
Link: (eventually beats them). Hey a large treasure chest just popped up!
Navi: What's in it?
Link: I'm about to check. (opens it and pulls out a . . . . . ) IT'S A BOOMERANG NAVI!
Navi: that's great Link. You have another weapon to hurt yourself with.
Link: Onward! (picks Ruto back up and heads out the door).
(They continue on through the belly and end up in an area where they have to fight those three giant worms. Link beats two of them and heads off the fight the third).
Link: BWAHAHAHAHA! YOU ARE GOING DOWN LIKE YOUR BROTHERS WOOOOOOOOOOORM!.
Giant Worm: (cries) What did you do to my brothers?
Link: I killed the bastards.
Giant Worm: I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTARD! (swoons down to attack Link).
Link: (hits the worm with his boomerang several times).
Giant Worm: Woe is me! Death is upon me! ACK! (dies).
Link: I beat him Navi.
Navi: Um Navi. You forgot something.
Link: What? (Gets electrocuted by some jellyfish nearby) OUCH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL! BWAHAHAHAHA! (kills them all).
(They continue their journey and eventually find themselves in a round room with a platform in the middle of the room).
Ruto: MY MOTHER'S STONE! Throw me on the platform!
Link: (gladly does so).
Ruto: (picks up her stone) Wow. I was so upset when Jabu Jabu swallowed this. I had to get it out of here. I finally found it. I no longer need to be here. Take me out of here.
(Suddenly the platform begins to rise up with Ruto still on it. She disappears from sight).
Ruto: (voice from above) AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! What is that? Some kind of octopus?!
(The platform comes back down and in Ruto's place is an octopus with a green spot on its butt).
Link: That's a nice change.
Octo: ROOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!!
Link: EEK! He's scaring me Navi. (begins to cry).
Navi: You need to fight him you idiot. Hit him with your boomerang.
Link: (does so and Octo lies down stunned).
Navi: Great! Now hit his little green ass with your sword.
Link: (does so)
Octo: ROOOOOWR! (gets back up and heads away from Link).
Link: HAH! He's afraid of me!
Navi: Um Link. This is a round room.
Link: So?
Navi: Look behind you.
Link: (turns around).
Octo: Boo.
Link: Ahhhhhhhhhh!! (hits octo with the boomerang again and slashes his butt).
Navi: You're doing great Link!
Link: (hits octo again and slashes at him).
Octo: OWIE I won't be able to sit for a week now. (sniffles and runs away crying). I'm telling baricade on you!
Navi: I thought he was supposed to die.
Link: (shrugs) I still beat him.
Navi: Well. Lets get on the platform.
Link: (jumps onto the platform and the platform raises to a different floor).
Link: Hmmm. Where's Ruto?
Navi: Maybe the octopus thing ate her.
Link: We can only hope.
Navi: LINK! What a horrible thing to say!
Link: (hangs his head down in shame).
Navi: You know that we need to find the sapphire.
Link: (sniffles).
Navi: Why couldn't the damn thing eat her AFTER we go the spiritual stone?
Link: (stares) I thought you were mad at me for insulting Ruto.
Navi: No. Of course not. I could care less about her.
Link: Well. We'll still the stone back.
Navi: Egh. I don't even want to think about it.
(By this time they had reached the door in front of the boss' room).
Navi: Here we are. At the boss' room.
Link: (laughs nervously).
Navi: Lets go in.
Link: (lets out a sigh) Alright.
Navi: What's wrong?
Link: I'm nervous.
Navi: Link. You fought a giant spider and a fire breathing dinosaur.
Link: But. What if I'm fighting a giant Ruto? What if she is the boss here?
Navi: I doubt it. Lets try not to think about it. Now in you go.
(They both walk into the boss' room and finds a huge jellyfish thing with several smaller jellyfish attached to its skin).
Link: Erm?
Navi: I think you have to hit its stems.
Link: What stems?
Navi: The ones at the very top of it. Better hit it with your boomerang quickly before it. . . .
Barinade: Bzzzt! (Electrocutes Link).
Link: Ugh. (begins to sway).
Navi: Stay strong Link and hit the bastard with your boomerang!!
Link: (does so). Great. One down two to go and we should be done with this overgrown jellyfish.
Navi: Great. Just hurry.
Link: (Hits the other one). Look Navi! I did it again!
Navi: Amazing.
Link: (hits the last stem) That should do it. (begins to walk away).
Navi: LINK! HE'S STILL ALIVE! RUN!
Link: (turns around) Eep!
Barinade: (begins spinning in circles like a lunatic and shooting electricity at Link).
Link: (hits him in a soft spot with the boomerang).
Navi: Good job Link! Now destroy all of the jellyfish that just came off of him.
Link: (does so).
Barinade: (Begins spinning around again).
Link: (hits baricade and begins to hack at him with his sword) DIE!!!!
Baricade: (dies)
Link: YAY! I beat another baddie! (begins to dance around).
Navi: There's the portal. Looks like princess Ruto made it out alive.
Ruto: How could you leave me?
Link: Easily.
Ruto: Well. I admit that it looked pretty cool what you did out there. (smiles)
Link: Ugh. Lets just get out of here.
(They vanish in a blue light).