Chapter 13: Racing Dampe'
(We find Navi and Link in the Kakariko Graveyard in front of Dampe's grave. Trying to move the tombstone).
Link: I don't feel that we are doing something good.
Navi: Why not? We're just following simple instructions.
Link: I feel like we are grave vandals.
Navi: We're not vandals if we are not breaking or damaging anything.
Link: True...(the tombstone drops and cracks) Oops...
Navi: Okay. NOW we're vandals.
Link: Maybe nobody will notice.
Navi: Link...the tombstone broke IN HALF. Of course some body is going to notice.
Link: (walks away whistling)
Navi: GET BACK HERE! We need do what we came here for.
Link: Well...we would've been done by now if you have led me to the right grave.
Navi: Oh come on Link. All you have to do is read the tombstones. You can read can't you?
Link: Well yea. The problem with reading here in Hyrule is that everything is written in a weird language.
Navi: It's the Hylian language Link. You should be able to read it. You ARE Hylian...I mean...oops.
Link: What did you say?
Navi: Err...uh...nothing. Just ignore what I just said.
Link: (getting suspicious) Alright...
Navi: Lets go down that hole that we just uncovered.
Link: You want us to go into a grave?
Navi: Link you were just in a tomb a few minutes ago.
Link: I almost had the brains sucked out of me!
Navi: Link. Don't make me do the playboy girl approach again.
Link: Okay fine. I'll go down there. Lets get this over with. (jumps down into the hole).
Navi: Good boy. (follows him down the hole).
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Navi: what's wrong Link???
Link: There's a ghost in front of me!!!
Ghost: Hello young man.
Link: (stares in disbelief)
Ghost: I always wanted to test out how fast I can go compared to the living.
Link: Interesting...Well I better get going now. (begins to run off).
Navi: Wait a minute Link. We need to stay here to get the tool that Sheik told us to get.
Ghost: Can you keep up with me in a race young man?
Link: You're just an old ghost. Of course I can.
Ghost: If you can keep up with me I'll give you something special.
Link: Like what?
Ghost: My springing thingy.
Link: Alright. It shouldn't be hard.
Ghost: Alright. (flies quickly off).
Link: Wow. He is pretty fast. (chases after him).
Navi: Come on Link! You can do it! You're a good runner.
Link: (huffs and puffs loudly).
Navi: Who's in horrible shape...
Link: (begins to run faster)
Ghost: (throws fire at Link)
Link: (gets burned)
Ghost: Heehee...
Link: That hurt you old bastard!
Ghost: I'm not the one running like an old man!
Link: Grrr...(speeds up and rolls under a closing door).
Ghost: Almost there. (Throws another fireball at link).
Link: HAH! You missed.
Navi: Um Link...
Link: Shutup Navi. I'm going to teach this old coot a lesson.
Navi: Link...
Link: Mmmmm. I smell something delicious cooking. Smells like...
Navi: Hero?
Link: MY ASS IS ON FIRE! (rolls under another door and puts the fire out).
Ghost: (stops in front of a treasure chest). Well. I'm shocked that you managed to keep up without killing yourself.
Link: (walks up to the ghost. There is a hole in his pants from the fire revealing teddy bear underwear). You are a cheater.
Ghost: I have some power. I may as well use it. Anyways...I guess I can give you my springy thing.
Link: Yay! Who are you anyways?
Ghost: I'm Dampe'. I used to be the grave keeper.
Link: Oh. (opens the chest and receives his hook shot). Ooh...
Dampe': You got your springy thing NOW SCRAM!
Link: (rushes out a nearby door)
Navi: Well. You finally got the tool you needed to get into the first temple.
Link: Isn't it cool?
(Link and Navi continue walking until they find out that the grave leads to the Kakariko Windmill).
Link: Interesting how this grave leads to a windmill.
Navi: Ugh. Can you imagine the stench through here?
Link: Yuck. Hey look there's some guy in here playing some instrument.
Navi: He looks angry about something.
Windmill Guy: I swear if that kid ever comes back, I'm going to cut his eyes out of his head...
Navi: Keep walking Link. I don't think we should bother him.
Link: (walks quickly out the door) This town has some psychos here.
Navi: What are you talking about? He's the first guy we saw here.
Link: Not exactly...we just recently met a dead grave keeper. He was pretty weird too.
Navi: Hey...do you still remember Saria's Song?
Link: Of course I do! I have a great...um......
Navi: Memory?
Link: Yea.
Navi: Why don't you call Saria and see how she is?
Link: I wonder if she ever recorded that show for me...(plays Saria's song)
Saria: Link? Is that you? I can't believe it! Where the hell have you been in the last seven years.
Link: Um...
Saria: Listen Link. I need your help. I went into the forest temple because the spirits were crying out. I really need your help. Horrible things are happening here.
Link: Oh no. Saria's in trouble! (races off towards Kokiri forest).
(When Link reaches the forest, he continues running towards the lost woods and eventually runs into Mido).
Mido: (gets ran into) Watch where you are going mister!
Link: (grumbles) Little bastard. (out loud) I need to get by. Move out of my way!
Mido: I'm sorry. I cannot allow that. Saria told me not to let anyone by.
Link: Saria? I need to help her!
Mido: Prove to me that you know her.
Link: (plays Saria's song)
Mido: Saria is always playing that song. She only taught it to her friends. She played it so much we eventually forced her to play it somewhere else.
Link: Will you let me pass?
Mido: (sighs) Yes. You know...when I look at you. You remind me of someone...
Link: Who?
Mido: Some little dweeb I used to know.
Link: (kicks Mido and runs off).
(Link eventually makes it to the sacred meadow and through the maze and to the temple).
Link: Whew. That was a huge goblin back there.
Navi: The one with the club?
Link: Yea. The one that hit me 300 times.
Sheik: Ah...finally you have arrived. It took you long enough.
Link: Whoa! How did you get here so fast?
Sheik: Magic. Anyways...I have a warping song I want to teach you.
Link: Warping?
Sheik: Yea. You'll warp back here if you play it.
Link: Why didn't you teach it to me earlier?! I could've used it then and not get lost for 5 hours in that damn maze.
Sheik: um....because?
Link: (sighs) Just teach me the song.
(Sheik teaches Link the Minuet of the Forest).
Sheik: Great! You learned the first Warp song. Now get your ass into the temple and free the forest sage. (throws down a stone and vanishes).
Link: Okay Navi...lets go...
(We find Navi and Link in the Kakariko Graveyard in front of Dampe's grave. Trying to move the tombstone).
Link: I don't feel that we are doing something good.
Navi: Why not? We're just following simple instructions.
Link: I feel like we are grave vandals.
Navi: We're not vandals if we are not breaking or damaging anything.
Link: True...(the tombstone drops and cracks) Oops...
Navi: Okay. NOW we're vandals.
Link: Maybe nobody will notice.
Navi: Link...the tombstone broke IN HALF. Of course some body is going to notice.
Link: (walks away whistling)
Navi: GET BACK HERE! We need do what we came here for.
Link: Well...we would've been done by now if you have led me to the right grave.
Navi: Oh come on Link. All you have to do is read the tombstones. You can read can't you?
Link: Well yea. The problem with reading here in Hyrule is that everything is written in a weird language.
Navi: It's the Hylian language Link. You should be able to read it. You ARE Hylian...I mean...oops.
Link: What did you say?
Navi: Err...uh...nothing. Just ignore what I just said.
Link: (getting suspicious) Alright...
Navi: Lets go down that hole that we just uncovered.
Link: You want us to go into a grave?
Navi: Link you were just in a tomb a few minutes ago.
Link: I almost had the brains sucked out of me!
Navi: Link. Don't make me do the playboy girl approach again.
Link: Okay fine. I'll go down there. Lets get this over with. (jumps down into the hole).
Navi: Good boy. (follows him down the hole).
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Navi: what's wrong Link???
Link: There's a ghost in front of me!!!
Ghost: Hello young man.
Link: (stares in disbelief)
Ghost: I always wanted to test out how fast I can go compared to the living.
Link: Interesting...Well I better get going now. (begins to run off).
Navi: Wait a minute Link. We need to stay here to get the tool that Sheik told us to get.
Ghost: Can you keep up with me in a race young man?
Link: You're just an old ghost. Of course I can.
Ghost: If you can keep up with me I'll give you something special.
Link: Like what?
Ghost: My springing thingy.
Link: Alright. It shouldn't be hard.
Ghost: Alright. (flies quickly off).
Link: Wow. He is pretty fast. (chases after him).
Navi: Come on Link! You can do it! You're a good runner.
Link: (huffs and puffs loudly).
Navi: Who's in horrible shape...
Link: (begins to run faster)
Ghost: (throws fire at Link)
Link: (gets burned)
Ghost: Heehee...
Link: That hurt you old bastard!
Ghost: I'm not the one running like an old man!
Link: Grrr...(speeds up and rolls under a closing door).
Ghost: Almost there. (Throws another fireball at link).
Link: HAH! You missed.
Navi: Um Link...
Link: Shutup Navi. I'm going to teach this old coot a lesson.
Navi: Link...
Link: Mmmmm. I smell something delicious cooking. Smells like...
Navi: Hero?
Link: MY ASS IS ON FIRE! (rolls under another door and puts the fire out).
Ghost: (stops in front of a treasure chest). Well. I'm shocked that you managed to keep up without killing yourself.
Link: (walks up to the ghost. There is a hole in his pants from the fire revealing teddy bear underwear). You are a cheater.
Ghost: I have some power. I may as well use it. Anyways...I guess I can give you my springy thing.
Link: Yay! Who are you anyways?
Ghost: I'm Dampe'. I used to be the grave keeper.
Link: Oh. (opens the chest and receives his hook shot). Ooh...
Dampe': You got your springy thing NOW SCRAM!
Link: (rushes out a nearby door)
Navi: Well. You finally got the tool you needed to get into the first temple.
Link: Isn't it cool?
(Link and Navi continue walking until they find out that the grave leads to the Kakariko Windmill).
Link: Interesting how this grave leads to a windmill.
Navi: Ugh. Can you imagine the stench through here?
Link: Yuck. Hey look there's some guy in here playing some instrument.
Navi: He looks angry about something.
Windmill Guy: I swear if that kid ever comes back, I'm going to cut his eyes out of his head...
Navi: Keep walking Link. I don't think we should bother him.
Link: (walks quickly out the door) This town has some psychos here.
Navi: What are you talking about? He's the first guy we saw here.
Link: Not exactly...we just recently met a dead grave keeper. He was pretty weird too.
Navi: Hey...do you still remember Saria's Song?
Link: Of course I do! I have a great...um......
Navi: Memory?
Link: Yea.
Navi: Why don't you call Saria and see how she is?
Link: I wonder if she ever recorded that show for me...(plays Saria's song)
Saria: Link? Is that you? I can't believe it! Where the hell have you been in the last seven years.
Link: Um...
Saria: Listen Link. I need your help. I went into the forest temple because the spirits were crying out. I really need your help. Horrible things are happening here.
Link: Oh no. Saria's in trouble! (races off towards Kokiri forest).
(When Link reaches the forest, he continues running towards the lost woods and eventually runs into Mido).
Mido: (gets ran into) Watch where you are going mister!
Link: (grumbles) Little bastard. (out loud) I need to get by. Move out of my way!
Mido: I'm sorry. I cannot allow that. Saria told me not to let anyone by.
Link: Saria? I need to help her!
Mido: Prove to me that you know her.
Link: (plays Saria's song)
Mido: Saria is always playing that song. She only taught it to her friends. She played it so much we eventually forced her to play it somewhere else.
Link: Will you let me pass?
Mido: (sighs) Yes. You know...when I look at you. You remind me of someone...
Link: Who?
Mido: Some little dweeb I used to know.
Link: (kicks Mido and runs off).
(Link eventually makes it to the sacred meadow and through the maze and to the temple).
Link: Whew. That was a huge goblin back there.
Navi: The one with the club?
Link: Yea. The one that hit me 300 times.
Sheik: Ah...finally you have arrived. It took you long enough.
Link: Whoa! How did you get here so fast?
Sheik: Magic. Anyways...I have a warping song I want to teach you.
Link: Warping?
Sheik: Yea. You'll warp back here if you play it.
Link: Why didn't you teach it to me earlier?! I could've used it then and not get lost for 5 hours in that damn maze.
Sheik: um....because?
Link: (sighs) Just teach me the song.
(Sheik teaches Link the Minuet of the Forest).
Sheik: Great! You learned the first Warp song. Now get your ass into the temple and free the forest sage. (throws down a stone and vanishes).
Link: Okay Navi...lets go...