I'm glad most of you who read this story liked it so far. Actually I thought I was only going to get like one or two reviews, but when I saw so many different reviews I was so shocked. I'm sorry to say today I'm kind of down. I hope none of my feelings went to deep in this story. I hope you like this chapter, plus this chapter is just the beginning of all the action. Suggestion, comments, questions and even flames are welcomed. For the flames that I received, not to sound all like a meany and all but to get things clear:
(1) Kaoru is not a weak person. And she's not acting like Tomoe. I know Tomoe is quiet, serene, and graceful like, but when Kaoru started to act all quiet, it was because she was depressed. Usually when a person is sad, they are more quiet then usual, and are drawn more to themselves.
(2) When Kaoru changed a month later, she didn't change for Kenshin, or because of him. She changed for herself. She did this so she could forget about him. No she's not dressing like Tomoe, she's dressing more like how girls dress.
(3) She's not pathetic or acting like that. She loves Kenshin because Tomoe made her realize her true feelings for him. Since she never experienced a real relationship, she's learning to cope with her feelings, and is a newbie to love, real pure love.
(4) The way how I portray Kaoru in this story, is the way how I am as a person. I don't want this story to have conflicts between Tomoe and Kaoru. I won't stand for that at all. Whether we like it or not in the magna series Tomoe was Kenshin's first love. I like Tomoe and all, but I will always prefer Kaoru over Tomoe because Kaoru is my favorite girl anime. If you look at all my other stories, they all evolve around her. I'm glad you guys like her a lot in this story. I'm struggling to portray her character much better then my other stories, even though it won't surpass my story called Dark Gold.
Sorry for getting upset. I'm down today, so please forgive me, but those who gave me flames; I just wanted to set the scores straight. Please enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin series. I wish I did, but I don't. : (
My Tears Brings New Meaning
Chapter Two
Why did life have to be so unfair? Why did the love have to be so unpleasant? For those who love, not all of them could ever have a happy ending. There were so many questions, so many different possibilities, and so many unknown answers that all remained revelations. How life worked was a mystery alone. But one thing for sure, Kaoru knew she could never forget the fierce dangerous look that flickered in his amber eyes, when he pinned her to the wall. His eyes that very day pierced not only her soul, but her heart as well. The Kenshin she once knew, his gentle smile, his violet eyes, his warm touch, his pride, his courageous soul, were all lost forever. The man who stood before her was no longer her best friend. He was a stranger.
The very moment he threw her harshly against the hallway wall, Kaoru diverted her sapphire eyes away from his gaze and looked towards the floor. She didn't have the heart to show him, how much he intimidated her that very moment. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, her heart rate increased, her body trembled so much in fear. For all the long years she had known Kenshin, never before had he acted so violently towards her. Usually he defended her, as she defended him. They shared a very strong friendship; a bond she once upon a time thought was unbreakable. But now, what he just did to her proved her very wrong. The Kenshin she once knew was lost forever.
"Kenshin, calm down. Please leave her," a familiar voice spoke gently in his ear, as if calling for him in a lost fog. At first Kenshin didn't answer. He kept his strong firm grip on Kaoru, his amber eyes trying to see her face. He checked her out from head to toe, and smiled a wicked smile knowing she feared him. He had to get back to spending his valuable time with Tomoe and not to some loser girl.
"The next time you decide to barge into my privacy, I'll make sure you'll regret it forever. Got it?!" Kenshin demanded, his voice cold, his grip tightened, threatening to crush Kaoru's wrist. All Kaoru could do was nod weakly without looking into his amber eyes. Then within mere seconds he disappeared like he was never there in the first place.
All afternoon Kaoru was not the same person. Her hands trembled as she struggled to write the class notes from the marker board. Her head throbbed endlessly with pain, her heart felt like it was going to thread into pieces within the classroom. She couldn't take anymore of this anguish. She would do anything to go home, and not be in school. Throughout the long month of all the crying she did, of all the changes she made, she tried so hard to forget him, but how can someone forget the person they love when they see them everyday? Her heart thundered in her ears, vibrating through the now quiet class. Her forehead started sweating, her palms were hot and moist, and her eyes became droopy.
"Kaoru, are you okay?" asked a voice. Kaoru knew the voice yet; she couldn't make out the person who the voice belonged too. Every single action that took place around her, seemed to go by in slow motion for her. She tried so hard to respond to the voice, but her own voice came out in a croak of a whisper. All she can see was those fierce amber eyes that she got a glimpse of earlier.
Without knowing what she did, Kaoru gathered her belongings into her backpack threw her homework assignment on the teacher's desk and ran out the classroom. She ran down the hall into the dark afternoon. The cloudy sky today decided to display her true emotions, to spill the very feeling of sorrow, of being heartbroken, of being alienated from this world. Everything was nothing but a shattered dream, a broken glass that can never be rekindled so easily.
Kaoru ran home. She ran never caring about the curious glances she received along the streets. She ran from the outside world she felt so secluded from. She ran until she reached her final destination, her sanctuary, her uncle's house. Calmly, but carefully she walked through the side yard of her uncle's home, reaching the back yard. Never once did Kaoru look back, because she was afraid someone would witness how vulnerable her soul was at that very moment.
"You have to tell me what's wrong Kaoru. I can't stand to see you suffer any longer. It breaks my heart to see you this way and not be able to help you," said a beautiful young woman in her mid twenties. Her beautiful long, blackish hair highlighted with blue streaks was done in a neat bun. Beautiful wisps of stray hair fell to the side of her face, enhancing her delicate features. Her dark blue eyes held so much worry, so much concern for Kaoru.
"I don't want to talk about it aunt Tokio. All I want is my privacy. That's all I ever came here for," whispered Kaoru. A few tears fell from her sapphire eyes. Her hands buried her face, so she could at least have some sanity left for her soul. She crouched herself into a hidden corner of her room in her uncle's house. This corner was where she came to bare her soul, face her darkest secrets, to know her worst committed sins. Yes this place brought dreadful memories but it can heal her as well.
"You know if you don't tell me, then I'm going to have Saito talk to you. Surely that wouldn't be pleasant knowing how strict he is and all."
"Then why did you marry him in the first place, if you knew how he was like as a person?"
"Because silly, I love him."
At those words, Kaoru flinched. Her body stiffened, her blue eyes widened with shock. How long must the pain last? How long must she suffer? Was it a sin to love? Through her eyes, she could see recognition strike in Tokio's eyes. She knew Tokio knew why she was crying. Finally someone did see her soul, finally she was able to show someone her inner feelings, to explain to them how and what she felt.
"You love him don't you?" asked Tokio. Kaoru knew who Tokio was talking about.
"Yes." Kaoru turned her head to the side. Her right hand made a fist over her heart while a stream of tears fell down her face. "Yes, and he has forgotten who his real friends are, mainly because I changed and didn't talk to him for awhile."
"Kaoru."
"Mainly because of me. I turned my back on him, because he didn't need me anymore. He found her, the girl of his dreams, the girl he'll love forever."
"Kaoru."
"It's all because I'm pathetic, because I'm a tomboy, because I can never be the girl he wants me to be. I can never be that aunt Tokio."
"Kaoru!" yelled Tokio as she shook Kaoru slightly trying to knock some sense into her. Kaoru was so in love with this boy until it drove her crazy. Tokio remembered Kenshin when he was a little boy. She remembered the way Kaoru used to admire him for everything he did. She stood up for him no matter what. Once before Aoshi, Kaoru's older brother told her Kenshin can never find a better girl. Was he wrong?
"Kaoru, it's not your fault. If he didn't see you for whom you truly are, then he doesn't deserve you. You are perfect just the way you are. Saito and I love you. Your father and your brother love you very dearly. I know your mother loved you very dearly. Your good friends like Misao, Sanosuke, and the others care for you deeply. You have so many people in this world who care for you so much. Please don't throw everything you have away because of one person."
"You know nothing. Yes they care for me. Yes you care for me, but what about the pain? Why can't I get this feeling out my heart? I feel so betrayed. I feel the pain tearing at my heart," whispered Kaoru. She looked up at Tokio with so much determination in her eyes, while her words continued to sting Tokio's heart. Her hand gestured at her heart, while she spoke. "I love him so much that it hurts. I lived in lies, telling myself that I could get through it. That his interest in Tomoe is nothing but infatuation. I was completely wrong. I looked at him and smiled those fake smiles, supported his advice, while my heart was tearing apart inside. When I walked to school with him, all he can ever talk about was her and nothing else. I endured so much until I can endure no more. My heart has taken enough pain; my soul cannot bear to go any further. My head pounds in fury, while all I can do is cry here like a little girl. I can only imagine what you think of me now."
"No, I understand your pain, for I have felt it too," replied Tokio quietly. Kaoru looked at her with utter amazement. She always thought her aunt was always happy when it came to love. It showed how naïve she really was when it came to the outside world.
"Because you cry it doesn't make you weak. Every single individual has their way of expressing their true feelings. However how we choose to express it doesn't make us weak Kaoru. Because you choose to cry, your emotions will not make you weaker, but stronger. Your tears are just the rain drops to the fresh soil of the earth. Your pain is just a beginning to help you bloom into a beautiful flower. Every single emotion that you feel Kaoru, promise me that you won't hide it in your heart. If you need to cry, bring your tears to me, for every single drop that hits the fresh soil, it brings new experiences to your life, and add new wisdom to your knowledge. Within time as you learn to live within the conditions of nature, will you learn to live and restrain the emotions in your heart."
Kaoru slowly got up to her feet, her body swayed a bit, but she was able to make it to her aunt's arms and hug her to thank her for everything. She will take caution to heed her aunt's words for they held so much wisdom and inspiration.
"Kaoru, before you go, what book are you reading for English AP class?" asked Tokio with curiosity expression on her face.
"Well, I'm reading Romeo and Juliet. Why?" Kaoru thought it was a strange, and a bit awkward that her aunt will ask her a question about her AP English class.
"Whatever you feel, you should write it down on paper and share it in front the class. Maybe your English teacher might ask you to describe what love is, or how is it like. You have an idea what it's like."
"Yeah, you're right, but it ain't pleasant." With those words Kaoru left her aunt's and uncle's home to head to her own home. What she didn't realize was after this moment of discovery, that the experience she received from her emotions will changed everything, what is to come in the future.
Walking home in the dark evening made Kaoru feel a little at ease. She always did believe that nature itself was attuned to her feelings. Whatever she felt, nature felt it too. Right now looking up above, in the dark heavens of the sky, it looked as though if it were going to rain.
But wait a minute! Every time it rained it meant something bad was going to happen either to her family members, her friends, or her. The rain brought bad news as well cry from the depths of her soul. Not only did it share her feelings to the world, but the thunderstorm that came with it, were the feelings that erupted like a volcano inside her. She was both hated and was grateful to the rain. With bad memories, came anew washed up slate to start all over again.
Kaoru reached the front steps of house. Through the first story window of her house she could see a shadow moving around. Instantly she knew her father was home. She wondered if he worried about her at all, or didn't. She wanted to call him on the phone before she left her uncle's house, but apparently she was too emotional to think so she didn't call him. She hoped he never did receive the phone call from her school, saying she left class for no apparent reason. She could always lie to him, but her father knew her so well. He knew when Kaoru lied to him.
Slowly she made her way up the steps, carefully as to not provoke the primal beast instinct in him. She knew he was angry, and he waited for her to come home. 'Please let Aoshi be there, please!' her mind begged. Her father was not a nice person to look at when he got angry. Anyone could feel his flare of rage from outside. His eyes alone could intimidate the dead, bore into a person's soul, flick an unknown response from them.
Just before Kaoru could reach her door, she felt someone grasp her hand. She was about to scream out in both shock and fear, but a hand clamped over her mouth to stop her.
"Kaoru calm down will ya," said a familiar voice. She knew that voice from anywhere. Within a second the hand let her go, and she turned around to see her dear brother. He was here! He was home! Kaoru have never been so happy to see someone her whole life. She loved her brother dearly. She admired him, looked up to him. He made her glad to have him as a brother.
"What happened? Is father mad at me?" asked Kaoru with fear in her eyes. She trembled to know what kind of punishment her father had in store for her.
"Hell yeah, and not only that something else happened," said Aoshi. He folded his arms and leaned against the stair's railing. He closed his eyes as though he was thinking about something.
"What do you mean something else happened?"
"Well the last time I checked up in the house we received something that had to do about you Kaoru. Father started calling you, and when you didn't answer, he thought something terrible happened to you. It was only then we received a telephone call from Saito saying you were on your way home, that calmed father down, but now he got pissed off all over again, knowing the fact you were out here by yourself."
"Did you say anything in my defense Aoshi?"
"Well of course little sis. What do you think? You thought I wouldn't stick up for you? All I did was follow you home."
"What?!" Kaoru shrieked on the top of her lungs. Right now she wanted to strangle her own brother for mocking her at a time like this. Yes he could be so protective over her, but at times when it comes to a dangerous situation, he still had time to make a sarcastic remark, or even joke about it.
Just then all of a sudden, Kaoru's father opened the door to see her and Aoshi standing outside. He glared his intimidating look at Aoshi, telling him silently to leave Kaoru with him. Silently he obeyed without saying anything. He walked by pass them into the house.
"Kaoru start packing up, we're leaving tomorrow," said her dad. With that, he left feeling satisfied, and left Kaoru with an astonished look on her face.