Chapter Four - "The Battle Continues..." Or "Megaman, Where the Bloody &*^(*&ing ^$^&$ Are You?"

X and Zero teleport into a vacant warehouse. They see a lot of stuff strewn about, mostly old boxes and packing peanuts.

Zero: $*&&) it all, X! I had that stupid black robot begging for mercy!

X: ... Zero, your arm is freaking RIPPED OFF!

Zero: I was just toying with him! I was warming up so I could drive his gold winged head into the ground and whack it like a golf ball! C'mon!

X: You'll get more of your bloody fight, doofus. Just calm your battle-happy self for two minutes while we wait for Megaman, okay? I wonder what's keeping him...?

Cut to Megaman at Light's Lab, playing with a loop of string.

Megaman: Oh, yeah! Who's got the cat's cradle? Yeah! How awesome am I? ... Hey, wait a sec...I think I remember hearing from someone that I was supposed to be doing something important... Maybe if I play with the string some more, I'll remember...yeah...

Back to X and Zero.

X: What's the deal? Megaman should have been back here by now!

Dr. Light jogs in, flopping down on the floor almost immediately after bursting through the door.

Hey, he made it!

Light (panting): Now...I'm thinking...making Reploids might not...be such...a good idea...

X: It's the exercise talking, Doc. You'll get over it.

Light: You'll...excuse me...if I start to dismantle you...

X: You're such a prankster, Doc! Ha ha ha!

Light glares at him.

Ye gods, he's serious!

Light: You just...you just wait until...until I get up...

He continues breathing heavily and gasping.

X: I won't hold my breath, Doc. Maybe the wait for that stitch to come out of your side will calm you down.

Loud, evil laughter is heard echoing through the building. Bass teleports in a few seconds later.

Bass, to Zero: You thought it would be so easy to hide, didn't you, pansy-bot?

Zero: Eat me!

Bass: You'd like that, wouldn't you?!

Zero: ...No!

Bass: Oh, wonderful comeback, wuss!

Zero: Oh yeah? How's this for a comeback? Yaaah!! (He rushes at Bass with his saber)

Bass dodges the dash attack, sticking his foot out and deftly tripping the Blonde Bother, sending him careening none-too-gracefully into a refrigerator box full of packing peanuts.

Bass: What was that you said back at the school? "Think before you fight"?

Zero: Oooh, I hate people who use your own words against you... (Rubbing his head with his good arm)

Bass: Ahem. Treble!

A purple beam fires through the roof of the building, and the growling wolf dog Treble materializes beside his master.

Combine sequence, activate! Come on, Treble!

He jumps high into the air, Treble following him. In a bright purple flash, the combined robot begins firing at Zero and X. Dr. Light crawls behind a nearby wall of crates.

Zero: Scramble! Scramble!

X: Duh, you idiot!

They both dash behind a wall of crates and have to yell over the noise Bass's Buster makes.

Zero: What do we do now?

X: (into radio) Megaman, where the heck are you?

Megaman (through radio): I'm coming...just hang on a few more minutes...

Zero: We may not have a few more minutes, sissy-boy! Whatever you're cooking up to take care of Bass, we need it now!

Megaman: Roger. I'll be there in two minutes!

X: That's the best we can do, I guess.

Zero: So what now?

X: We stick it out and hope he gets here before Bass sets the place on fire.

Zero: Any other plans?

X: Go out to Bass screaming 'We surrender'...but other than that, no.

Zero: Ha! I'll never surrender! I've got too much pride for that!

A barrel next to Zero explodes.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! MOMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE MR. BASS, DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bass: Sniveling coward...take this!!

(He fires a stream of plasma at Zero. X dives at him, knocking him out of the way of the blast.)

X: Watch yourself, Zero! He could've got your legs with that!

Zero: Thanks, X. We need an edge...but what could compete with him?

X: {Yeah, you saw how well that worked before.} We have to do something else...

Zero: You mean...?

X: Afraid so.

Zero: (sighs) I was hoping we'd never have to use this...

X: But we have no other choice.

Combination, X!!

Zero: Combination, Zero!!

X and Zero (Together): Together, we are... Xerox!!

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Xerox: The ultimate fusion of the two most powerful Reploids in the world!

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...And also the master of cheesy jokes. Don't be so down, Bass! Have a ball!

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Xerox: Oh, 'have a ball'... That cracks me up every time! (Chuckles) Oh, Xerox, you are a comic genius!

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Well, that didn't work as well as I'd hoped. Back for more, are you?

Bass: You can't get rid of me that easily, you purple nincompoop! Take this!

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I told you you were no match for me, you idiots! Now, prepare yourself for the afterlife!

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Now die!

Megaman: Nooooo!!!!

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Bass: You'd better have something good up your sleeve, Blue Boy, or I'm gonna crush you like a bug!

Megaman: Oh, you won't be disappointed, Bass...I have the ultimate weapon!

Bass: Oh?

X: Mega...man...you made it...

Megaman: X! Zero! Are you both okay?

Zero: We're fine...just our pride...

Megaman: Yeah, I'd have never suspected that two of the most advanced robots ever created could lose to a cheap knock-off of me.

X and Zero (Together): Stuff it, Mega-Boy!

Megaman: You're both just lucky I showed up in time to save your worthless butts. Observe.

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Zero: So what? You get your sister dolled up and you think this is somehow supposed to help us?

Bass: (drifts over to Roll) Shut up, Zero. (Romantically) Don't speak...when there is such beauty in our presence.

Megaman: Just work your magic, sis... (Runs over to X and Zero, pulls them out of the crate and they teleport out)

Bass: So... (Detaches from Treble, schmoozes over to Roll. Treble beams away) Whatcha been up to lately?

Roll (lustily): Not much. Cleaning up stuff around the house, the usual.

Bass: Sounds interesting. Tell me more...

Roll (lustily): I will. Just gimme a minute to freshen up, will you?

Bass: Oh, sure. Here, take all the time you need... (Turns around)

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So what exactly do you and Rock talk about when I'm not trying to murder you all? Do you talk about...well, do--I mean...

Roll (lustily): I know exactly what you mean, Bass. Of course I talk about you.

Bass: Really? (Turns back around)

Roll (Normal): Really. (Fires at him, he falls to the ground) But don't look at a girl until she's done freshening up, you insensitive jerk. Rush!!

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Catch you later, Bass! (Lustily) When you get all your pieces back together, why don't you give me a ring?

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Bass: Curse you, Megaman...I shall defeat you, someday... And I will prove that I am the strongest robot!

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Roll: Doubtful!

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