Thanks:
 Michelle- My Dreamer!
Dimitry- Bru, you get a clue, Smile Empty Soul Rocks!

FanFic Back on Demand... *Snorts* Alright, I'll continue now...

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It was a ... hmmm...

- UFO Abducts Authour-

It was a Friday afternoon and every Hogwarts student crowded the hallways, corridors and common rooms as far as some knew. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were down near the Great Hall entrance having just finished Lunch. God you would think they had enough food for one day, having the table magically full of food. What a place. Anyways, Ron was sliding down a wall near the Great Hall entrance, bored as he had told Harry.

"Lets. . . Go find Hermione," Harry said, trying to figure something to do.

Ron arched a brow, "Are you crazy man?! She'll wonder if we did any homework yet! And I'm not ready to do homework," Ron replied stubbournly.

"Quit being a mummy's boy. Get up, and lets go outside then," Harry answered.

"I aint a mummy's boy. . .," Ron muttered as he got up.

Harry looked at Ron from the Giant Oak Doors, "What was that?," he asked.


"Nothing. . .," Ron answered.

-Outkast's New Song plays in Background-

"Hey, Ron, who's playing the music?," Harry questioned, looking all over.

Ron also looked all over, "I dunno... maybe the authour being dramatic. . . as he was abducted to outer space!," Ron answered in a jealous voice.

"Be quiet Ron!," came a voice, that belonged to a muse standing next to him.

"Sorry," Ron said.

As Ron and Harry exited to the outside world, Harry fell down the gray coloured stone steps as he was in such a rush. Ron's head went up and down as his eyes watched Harry go up and down up and down then up and then down, landing on the ground. Ron closed his eyes shut, before opening them to see.

"You alright Harry?," Ron asked, trying hard not to laugh.

Harry got up and sat up straight, his glasses were alive, his face was clean of dirt and so were his robes, "I'm fine. I didn't break ANYTHING. I'm GOD!"


Ron arched a brow, "Uh, Harry, you landed on Colin. . .," He pointed to the little body underneath Harry's.

Harry blinked, and looked on the side of him seeing Colin's head, "ACK, Colin! Didn't see you there. . .," Harry said apologetically, getting off poor Colin.

"I-it's okay, Harry," Colin replied cheerfully, "Nothing wrong. I'm alright," he nodded and actually skipped off singing copacabana to himself.

"What in the name was that?!," Ron asked out loud to Harry as Colin sang copacabana.

It was odd to hear someone singing really. Colin especially. Harry never realised how good a voice Colin had. He always thought Colin was just a crazy, idiotic, funny, twirpish, hyper active for some reason kind of kid. Harry was drawn to the soft. . .

-authour thwacks Harry out of space-

Harry rubbed his head, "One of these days. . . I'll rule the people who make fanfics out of my book. . .," he said.


Ron shrugged as he ate a carrot the authour gave him, "Well, mate, good luck. I'm on their side. They gave me a carrot! Isn't that neat?! It's REAL crunchy. . . ," Ron replied.

Harry huffed. Ron puffed. Both would make a good big bad wolf in my case. . . anyhow. . . they got to sitting by the lake, throwing rocks on accident at the octopus as it got in their way of skipping the rocks. The octopus threw its . . . hands around crazily, hitting some students randomly.

Harry and Ron watched as Michael Jackson did the moonwalk down from the real thing. He approached Harry and Ron, moon walking still, and stopped in front of them.

"Do you know how to get to Los Angeles?," Michael asked in confusion.

Harry and Ron looked at each other. Michael Jackson?! What the. . .

-ravens attack authour-

Harry blinked. Ron blinked. They both blinked at Michael Jackson and watched as he got devoured by the octopus, who belched and went back under the water.

"Wow. . . the octopus ate Michael Jackson," said a voice behind the two. It belonged to Dre Dre. Now Dr Dre appeared out of no where, the school really was visible, otherwise these famous people wouldn't keep on coming. Then again, it was heaven.

Dr Dre looked at the boys as they blinked at him, he grew nervous and threw himself into the lake only to be devoured by the octopus as well.

"Whats up with these muggle rich people?," Ron questioned.

Harry shook his head.

....hours later....

It was night now. And everyone was heading inside. Not till a chain saw noise of some sort came out of no where. Then from the trees, Jason appeared! Everyone screamed and threw everything they had in their hands as they pushed other people out of their way. All except Harry and Ron, who watched Jason in front of them, moving the saw to them, trying to scare them. They just watched, and yawned, and continued to watch.

-Harry gets poked by Chicko the Chihuahua-

Realising Jason couldn't scare Harry or Ron, he cried like a girl and ran off into the forest like a girl. Harry and Ron rolled on the grass laughing their heads off. Well, almost laughing their heads off. Wouldn't that be amazing if they DID laugh their heads off? Actually, it would be rather stupid. Then again, very very funny to me. I would laugh at them. . .

-cackling from authour can be heard-

After heading into the castle, Harry and Ron decided to go to the Dungeons instead. Why? They wanted to be in trouble for some reason. Before entering, they heard someone singing, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty. . ." and the person who appeared singing the song was none other then Professor Snape! Continuing to sing, he headed up the staircase in the entrance hall, possibly heading to Dumbledore's office.

Frightened out of their knickers, they ran up the stairs and up the stairs passing everyone in their way. Once at the Portrait of the fat lady, she blinked at them as she was playing poker with other people from other portraits, one being the crazy Sir Cadogan.

The Fat Lady giggled madly and asked, "Pass-Pass word!"

Harry replied, "Whatchamacallit!"

The portrait opened and Ron and Harry hurried inside, throwing themselves at chairs, breathing rather quick.

"They're you two are," it was Hermione. . . only the person with her voice was Gilderoy Lockhart.


The boys looked at each other in horror. Ron grabbed a microphone, Harry made Gilderoy dress in a nurse outfit, and then music began.

"Ahem. . . I repeat. . . Will the Real Hermione Granger please stand up! I repeat, will the real Herm-," Ron stopped as Hermione appeared on the stairs dressed like she was famous.

"Dimwits. . . You could do that, but do you have to put up an Eminem voice?," Hermione questioned, pouting.

Ron crossed his arms, gold rings on his fingers, "I aint knowin' girl," He answered.

Before anyone could reply, someone came to the window, and broke it open. Who was this person? Harry poked at him with a stick, Ron got a stick on fire and almost poked him before he was handled by men in white coats and officially made the insane one of Hogwarts. Hermione did nothing on the other hand. Lockhart screamed like a girl and was pushed out the window by Dumbledore entering the common room. Poor Lockhart will really never get better. Stay Tuned next time Folks to find out who this mystery celebrity is!