Harry Potter Gone Wrong! Chapter Three
By Your Comical Authors Morgan and Shadow Fay (MorganShadow)!
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all related indicia belong to J.K. Rowling!
CHAPTER THREE: Fleur Delacour is a Nurse?!
_____________
Wood: *after Quidditch match against Hufflepuff-won, of course* HARRY! WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHINESE FIREBALLS ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE FIELD! GO TO THE ASSISTANT NURSE'S TENT!
Harry: Assistant nurse?
Wood: YES! ASSISTANT NURSE! WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
Harry: Which one, the red-crossed tent or the pink?
Wood: *eyes begin to glaze over* The pink . . .
Harry: *arrives at tent* OH LORD, IT'S PINK!
Assistant Nurse comes out of tent: 'Ello 'Arry, you dum'ass!
Harry: *thinking, 'This is my lucky day!'* FLEUR?!
Fleur: I got a job 'ere, 'Arry, I must improve my Eenglish! *jabs finger into the air*
Harry: *just realizes that Fleur dissed him two minutes ago* HEY! I'M NOT A DUMBASS!
Fleur: O' well. Professor Dumbly-dorr gave me a good job 'ere.
Harry: I see.
Fleur: Give me a 'ug, 'Arry, I 'aven't seen you in such a long time!
Harry: *weighs chances in mind for about four seconds* Okay!
_____________
Our psychopathic/heroic authors are now locked in their basement which is cluttered with paper, half-chewed pencils/erasers, sharpeners, a computer, and, of course, Altoids galore.
_____________
Amani: Bark arff arrooooo! (Translation: Now for a little Author's Time!)
Shadow and Morgan: Shut up, you stupid dog! *slaps him*
Amani: *keels over* Arfy arffffy arooofyy! (Translation: The pain! The agony!) *Holds up a sign that says 'Back in five minutes'*
Morgan: *laughs evilly and ties him up*
Shadow: *laughs evilly and ties Morgan up and throws her out the window*
Morgan: *comes back through the window, ties her up, and bangs her head against the concrete floor* MWAHAHAHA!
Shadow: *gnaws through ropes and attacks Morgan with a nail filer*
MV1: Girls, you shouldn't fight like that!
Shadow: Shut the f*** up and go away!
MV1: Don't talk to me like that, young lady, or you'll be grounded for a week!
Shadow: *eyes grow wide and start twitching* MOM?!
MV2 (talking to Morgan): You shouldn't hurt the dog like that. She's your friend!
Morgan: You are too much like my dad for comfort!
MV2: Are you sure we're different people?
Morgan: *eyes twitch* What the--DAD?!
MV1, now identified as Mom: Now that we are finally identified, we'd like to meet your friends who are reading this!
Morgan and Shadow: What're you talking about?! We don't know them-they're just reading this for the fun of it! But we thank you all for donating your valuable time to a good cause.
You: *bows* I love the public . . . wait a minute! I'm in the story! HI MOM!
Amani: Meow, meow, meow, meow, Meow, meow, meow, meow, Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Shadow: We need Smoothie to translate that one!
Morgan: I can only translate cat, but only Shadow can translate dog! Come here, Smoothie-moothie-woothie!
Smoothie: Meow, meow, meow, meow, purrrr. (Translation: If I'm gonna translate anything, you're gonna have to swear that you'll never say Smoothie-moothie-woothie again, especially in front of Shadow!)
Morgan: No problemo-ness!
Smoothie: Mreowrrrr. (Translation: That either.)
Morgan: Okay!
Smoothie: All I'm telling you is that it's about delivering a certain brand of cat food. The commercial had a striped gray cat on the telephone with his owner.
MV2, newly identified as Dad: Oooh! Oooh! I know this one!
Shadow: Too bad! This puzzle is for the readers/reviewers! If you can solve it, we'll put you in a chapter, and you won't have to do anything nasty unless you request it! You will also receive a guest appearance on what Amani calls 'Authors' Time'!
Mom: Dangit! I know this one too!
Shadow: Well, that sucks for you, doesn't it!
Smoothie: *yawns* Mrreowwrrrie! (Translation: Shut up and get the freak back to the story!)
Shadow: Stupid cat.
_____________
Wood: *strolling by the bleachers* Oh, Lord; HARRY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UNDER THERE WITH THE ASSISTANT NURSE?!
(Yes. What happens in the light of late afternoon under the bleachers? A serious make-out session. What else?)
Harry: *blushes furiously* Uhmmm . . . healing my injuries? I mean, God, I'm fifteen!
Fleur: Zey are very serious wounds! I thought I could find some sort of medicine under ze bleachers . . . ?
Wood: Um . . . sure, Harry . . . whatever you say . . . *walks away*
Harry: Sucker . . . heh heh . . .
Harry and Fleur: *take up making out once again*
_____________
Solve Amani's meowing riddle and you can be in the next chapter!
*Shadow and Morgan are busy dueling with nail filers*
Smoothie: Meow, meow-
Amani: AWOOF!
Shadow and Morgan: What they are TRYING to say is 'Tune in next time'
Dad: *falls asleep*
Shadow and Morgan: *attacks Dad with their nail filers*
Dad: What?! What?! Okay, I'm up!
Mom: We're a happy family!
Shadow and Morgan: *cough hysterically trying not to laugh*
Everybody then waves and proceeds to pummel each other except for the parents. They need to set a good example for their daughters, don't they?
By Your Comical Authors Morgan and Shadow Fay (MorganShadow)!
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all related indicia belong to J.K. Rowling!
CHAPTER THREE: Fleur Delacour is a Nurse?!
_____________
Wood: *after Quidditch match against Hufflepuff-won, of course* HARRY! WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHINESE FIREBALLS ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE FIELD! GO TO THE ASSISTANT NURSE'S TENT!
Harry: Assistant nurse?
Wood: YES! ASSISTANT NURSE! WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
Harry: Which one, the red-crossed tent or the pink?
Wood: *eyes begin to glaze over* The pink . . .
Harry: *arrives at tent* OH LORD, IT'S PINK!
Assistant Nurse comes out of tent: 'Ello 'Arry, you dum'ass!
Harry: *thinking, 'This is my lucky day!'* FLEUR?!
Fleur: I got a job 'ere, 'Arry, I must improve my Eenglish! *jabs finger into the air*
Harry: *just realizes that Fleur dissed him two minutes ago* HEY! I'M NOT A DUMBASS!
Fleur: O' well. Professor Dumbly-dorr gave me a good job 'ere.
Harry: I see.
Fleur: Give me a 'ug, 'Arry, I 'aven't seen you in such a long time!
Harry: *weighs chances in mind for about four seconds* Okay!
_____________
Our psychopathic/heroic authors are now locked in their basement which is cluttered with paper, half-chewed pencils/erasers, sharpeners, a computer, and, of course, Altoids galore.
_____________
Amani: Bark arff arrooooo! (Translation: Now for a little Author's Time!)
Shadow and Morgan: Shut up, you stupid dog! *slaps him*
Amani: *keels over* Arfy arffffy arooofyy! (Translation: The pain! The agony!) *Holds up a sign that says 'Back in five minutes'*
Morgan: *laughs evilly and ties him up*
Shadow: *laughs evilly and ties Morgan up and throws her out the window*
Morgan: *comes back through the window, ties her up, and bangs her head against the concrete floor* MWAHAHAHA!
Shadow: *gnaws through ropes and attacks Morgan with a nail filer*
MV1: Girls, you shouldn't fight like that!
Shadow: Shut the f*** up and go away!
MV1: Don't talk to me like that, young lady, or you'll be grounded for a week!
Shadow: *eyes grow wide and start twitching* MOM?!
MV2 (talking to Morgan): You shouldn't hurt the dog like that. She's your friend!
Morgan: You are too much like my dad for comfort!
MV2: Are you sure we're different people?
Morgan: *eyes twitch* What the--DAD?!
MV1, now identified as Mom: Now that we are finally identified, we'd like to meet your friends who are reading this!
Morgan and Shadow: What're you talking about?! We don't know them-they're just reading this for the fun of it! But we thank you all for donating your valuable time to a good cause.
You: *bows* I love the public . . . wait a minute! I'm in the story! HI MOM!
Amani: Meow, meow, meow, meow, Meow, meow, meow, meow, Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Shadow: We need Smoothie to translate that one!
Morgan: I can only translate cat, but only Shadow can translate dog! Come here, Smoothie-moothie-woothie!
Smoothie: Meow, meow, meow, meow, purrrr. (Translation: If I'm gonna translate anything, you're gonna have to swear that you'll never say Smoothie-moothie-woothie again, especially in front of Shadow!)
Morgan: No problemo-ness!
Smoothie: Mreowrrrr. (Translation: That either.)
Morgan: Okay!
Smoothie: All I'm telling you is that it's about delivering a certain brand of cat food. The commercial had a striped gray cat on the telephone with his owner.
MV2, newly identified as Dad: Oooh! Oooh! I know this one!
Shadow: Too bad! This puzzle is for the readers/reviewers! If you can solve it, we'll put you in a chapter, and you won't have to do anything nasty unless you request it! You will also receive a guest appearance on what Amani calls 'Authors' Time'!
Mom: Dangit! I know this one too!
Shadow: Well, that sucks for you, doesn't it!
Smoothie: *yawns* Mrreowwrrrie! (Translation: Shut up and get the freak back to the story!)
Shadow: Stupid cat.
_____________
Wood: *strolling by the bleachers* Oh, Lord; HARRY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UNDER THERE WITH THE ASSISTANT NURSE?!
(Yes. What happens in the light of late afternoon under the bleachers? A serious make-out session. What else?)
Harry: *blushes furiously* Uhmmm . . . healing my injuries? I mean, God, I'm fifteen!
Fleur: Zey are very serious wounds! I thought I could find some sort of medicine under ze bleachers . . . ?
Wood: Um . . . sure, Harry . . . whatever you say . . . *walks away*
Harry: Sucker . . . heh heh . . .
Harry and Fleur: *take up making out once again*
_____________
Solve Amani's meowing riddle and you can be in the next chapter!
*Shadow and Morgan are busy dueling with nail filers*
Smoothie: Meow, meow-
Amani: AWOOF!
Shadow and Morgan: What they are TRYING to say is 'Tune in next time'
Dad: *falls asleep*
Shadow and Morgan: *attacks Dad with their nail filers*
Dad: What?! What?! Okay, I'm up!
Mom: We're a happy family!
Shadow and Morgan: *cough hysterically trying not to laugh*
Everybody then waves and proceeds to pummel each other except for the parents. They need to set a good example for their daughters, don't they?