Harry Potter Gone Wrong! Chapter Five
By Morgan and Shadow Fay (MorganShadow), who are contentedly going through ten Altoids tins at a time.
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all related indicia belong to whom other than the great J.K. Rowling!
CHAPTER FIVE:
____________
Hagrid: Olympe . . . I know yer half-giant. Who's side was it on?
Madame Maxime: I admit it, 'Agrid. I am 'alf-giant. On my muzzer's side.
Hagrid: Mine too! We're meant for each other! Will you marry me?
Madame Maxime: *considers proposal for half a second* All right!
Hagrid and Madame Maxime: (well, you know, start making out, shoopid!)
(At that moment, Harry and Ron happen to stroll by Hagrid's hut and look through the window)
Ron: *about to bang on door* Hagrid it's u-WHOA . . . not for me! Come on, Harry, we're leaving!
Harry: Why? I wanna talk to Ha-WHOA. Not for me, either! Let's just leave those two lovebirds alone, shall we?
____________
Harry's invitation, written by Hagrid with his horrible spelling:
WHO: Rubeus Hagrid and Olympe Maxime
WHAT: Weding!!!
WHERE: By the lake
WHEN: September 23
We hop you wil join us!
Harry: And I've got to be the best man, probably.
Ron: Me too.
Hermione: Madame Maxime asked Fleur and I to be her bridesmaids.
Harry and Ron: Wait a minute . . . WE HAVE TO GO TO A WEDDING! NOOOOOO!
Fleur: *walks in* 'Ello, 'Arry, my love! "Ello 'Ermione, 'ello Ron!
Ron: 'My love'? Is there something you're not telling us, Harry?
Hermione: Yes, Harry! We thought we were your FRIENDS!
(At that moment, Fleur chose to tackle Harry).
Ron and Hermione: *stares for a second* Okay, we're going . . . buh-bye.
Harry: WHOO! DO THAT AGAIN!
____________
Shadow: Well, Shekiah translated Amani's riddle. The answer was 'I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix, please deliver!'
Morgan: Now why was a dog singing about cat food? We'll never understand the mind of an Altoid-addicted dog.
Shadow: Yeah. Well, Shekiah has been chosen to appear in this chapter and on an exclusive episode of 'Authors' Time!'
Shekiah: Yo . . .
Shadow: Whatever. Welcome Shekiah! So tell me. Why are you wearing a dress?
Shekiah: *turning red-faced* You know why! Your making me go to Hagrid's wedding!
Morgan: Well you did win the contest. You said you didn't mind as long as you could be with Dra----
Shekiah: Shuttup!!!!!!! *turning a nice maroon color*
Shadow: Well here's you chance! Now leave the dress on or get out! *teeth begin to turn yellow and drip Altoid venom*
Shekiah: Um . . . okay. *edges away from Shadow*
Amani: Grrrrr gruff arrro!!!! (Translation: Now welcome the newest addition to the Fay family . . . Honeysuckle Fay , the lizard. Also known as Lizzy.
Lizzy (scratching against the cage since she can't make noise): Scritch Scratch Scrootch (Translation: Thanks stupid. We'll come back to Harry Potter Gone Wrong after this commercial break!
Smoothie: Hiiiss. Meowrirr! (Translation: There are no commercials!
Lizzy: Scraaaatch (Translation: You'll see)
____________
(Harry, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Fleur, Professors McGonagall and Snape, and Shekiah are attending the wedding with the entire Hogwarts/ Beauxbotons crowd)
Dumbledore: We are gathered here today . . .
Hagrid: I do.
Dumbledore: *whispers* Not yet Hagrid!
Hagrid: Sorry.
Dumbledore: We are gathered here today to join in marriage . . .
Harry and Ron: *like everyone else tunes out on what Dumbledore is saying*
Shadow: Altoid? I have done nothing to it.
Morgan: Sure! I trust you today.
Shadow: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Morgan: What?! What have you done to it?
Shadow: Nothing!! I just like to toy with you mind. Muahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Morgan: Ice cubes?
Shadow: Sure. The regular.
Morgan: Seven?
Shadow: That's the regular.
Morgan: 'K.
Shadow and Morgan: Begin to throw ice cubes and Altoids at each other disrupting the wedding.
Morgan: MY ALTOIDS!!!!!!!!
Shadow: MY ICECUBES!!!!!!
(Great now their addicted to ice cubes and Altoids.)
Dumbledore: Ahem!
Shadow and Morgan: Um.. Sorry! *content themselves with their Altoids and ice cubes*
Dumbledore: . . . .and do you Rubeus take Olympe as your lawful wedded wife to . . .
Ron and Harry: *tune back in for Hagrid's answer*
Hagrid: I do.
Dumbledore: Do you Olympe take..Oh you get the picture, reverse everything and give your answer.
Madame Maxime: I do.
Dumbledore: You may kiss the bride.
(At this, everyone except the polite teachers turn their heads when the two huge beings kiss.)
Seamus: CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE!
Everyone: CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE! CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE! CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE!
Winky: *sobbing* 'Tis not work for a house-elf. Not to be seen is mark of excellence. Not to be seen is good! Why must poor Winky be seen? *peeks behind the cake* naughty, naughty students! *pushes the cake to the side* Shame! Shame! Dumbledore!
Shekiah and Draco: *making out*
Morgan: Thanks for letting us attend Hagrid!
Shadow: I told you you'd like wearing the dress Shekiah.
Shekiah and Draco: *continue making out and don't pay attention to anyone*
Shadow and Morgan: Looks like it's the end! Tune in next time!!!!!! Stop copying me! No you stop! Grrrrrr!!!!! *begin to throttle each other* Muahahahahaha! I said Shuttup!
Everyone: *becomes afraid of the authors, run away making a mess while trampling stuff*
Giant Squid in lake: *grabs the leftover cake and gobbles it down underwater.*
Shekiah and Draco: *continue making out*
____________
New contest! Submit an e-mail to stichette299@hotmail.com to send in who (Ex. Krum) should be sent into St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Also send in why (Ex. Trying to kiss Ron). Whoever gets the most votes wins. The contestants are Krum, Ron, Draco, Hagrid, Fleur, Professor McGonagall, and Shadow! Sorry scratch that Shadow is not one the contestant list. The entries are due by June 8th.
Thanks to our wonderful reviewers!!!! nadz, Wahotsiru, Dakon-sai, and Matsuyi!!!!!!!!! Thank you for submitting reviews! We'll try to put your name at the end when you review.
____________
By Morgan and Shadow Fay (MorganShadow), who are contentedly going through ten Altoids tins at a time.
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all related indicia belong to whom other than the great J.K. Rowling!
CHAPTER FIVE:
____________
Hagrid: Olympe . . . I know yer half-giant. Who's side was it on?
Madame Maxime: I admit it, 'Agrid. I am 'alf-giant. On my muzzer's side.
Hagrid: Mine too! We're meant for each other! Will you marry me?
Madame Maxime: *considers proposal for half a second* All right!
Hagrid and Madame Maxime: (well, you know, start making out, shoopid!)
(At that moment, Harry and Ron happen to stroll by Hagrid's hut and look through the window)
Ron: *about to bang on door* Hagrid it's u-WHOA . . . not for me! Come on, Harry, we're leaving!
Harry: Why? I wanna talk to Ha-WHOA. Not for me, either! Let's just leave those two lovebirds alone, shall we?
____________
Harry's invitation, written by Hagrid with his horrible spelling:
WHO: Rubeus Hagrid and Olympe Maxime
WHAT: Weding!!!
WHERE: By the lake
WHEN: September 23
We hop you wil join us!
Harry: And I've got to be the best man, probably.
Ron: Me too.
Hermione: Madame Maxime asked Fleur and I to be her bridesmaids.
Harry and Ron: Wait a minute . . . WE HAVE TO GO TO A WEDDING! NOOOOOO!
Fleur: *walks in* 'Ello, 'Arry, my love! "Ello 'Ermione, 'ello Ron!
Ron: 'My love'? Is there something you're not telling us, Harry?
Hermione: Yes, Harry! We thought we were your FRIENDS!
(At that moment, Fleur chose to tackle Harry).
Ron and Hermione: *stares for a second* Okay, we're going . . . buh-bye.
Harry: WHOO! DO THAT AGAIN!
____________
Shadow: Well, Shekiah translated Amani's riddle. The answer was 'I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix, please deliver!'
Morgan: Now why was a dog singing about cat food? We'll never understand the mind of an Altoid-addicted dog.
Shadow: Yeah. Well, Shekiah has been chosen to appear in this chapter and on an exclusive episode of 'Authors' Time!'
Shekiah: Yo . . .
Shadow: Whatever. Welcome Shekiah! So tell me. Why are you wearing a dress?
Shekiah: *turning red-faced* You know why! Your making me go to Hagrid's wedding!
Morgan: Well you did win the contest. You said you didn't mind as long as you could be with Dra----
Shekiah: Shuttup!!!!!!! *turning a nice maroon color*
Shadow: Well here's you chance! Now leave the dress on or get out! *teeth begin to turn yellow and drip Altoid venom*
Shekiah: Um . . . okay. *edges away from Shadow*
Amani: Grrrrr gruff arrro!!!! (Translation: Now welcome the newest addition to the Fay family . . . Honeysuckle Fay , the lizard. Also known as Lizzy.
Lizzy (scratching against the cage since she can't make noise): Scritch Scratch Scrootch (Translation: Thanks stupid. We'll come back to Harry Potter Gone Wrong after this commercial break!
Smoothie: Hiiiss. Meowrirr! (Translation: There are no commercials!
Lizzy: Scraaaatch (Translation: You'll see)
____________
(Harry, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Fleur, Professors McGonagall and Snape, and Shekiah are attending the wedding with the entire Hogwarts/ Beauxbotons crowd)
Dumbledore: We are gathered here today . . .
Hagrid: I do.
Dumbledore: *whispers* Not yet Hagrid!
Hagrid: Sorry.
Dumbledore: We are gathered here today to join in marriage . . .
Harry and Ron: *like everyone else tunes out on what Dumbledore is saying*
Shadow: Altoid? I have done nothing to it.
Morgan: Sure! I trust you today.
Shadow: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Morgan: What?! What have you done to it?
Shadow: Nothing!! I just like to toy with you mind. Muahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Morgan: Ice cubes?
Shadow: Sure. The regular.
Morgan: Seven?
Shadow: That's the regular.
Morgan: 'K.
Shadow and Morgan: Begin to throw ice cubes and Altoids at each other disrupting the wedding.
Morgan: MY ALTOIDS!!!!!!!!
Shadow: MY ICECUBES!!!!!!
(Great now their addicted to ice cubes and Altoids.)
Dumbledore: Ahem!
Shadow and Morgan: Um.. Sorry! *content themselves with their Altoids and ice cubes*
Dumbledore: . . . .and do you Rubeus take Olympe as your lawful wedded wife to . . .
Ron and Harry: *tune back in for Hagrid's answer*
Hagrid: I do.
Dumbledore: Do you Olympe take..Oh you get the picture, reverse everything and give your answer.
Madame Maxime: I do.
Dumbledore: You may kiss the bride.
(At this, everyone except the polite teachers turn their heads when the two huge beings kiss.)
Seamus: CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE!
Everyone: CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE! CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE! CAKE, CAKE, CAKE, CAKE!
Winky: *sobbing* 'Tis not work for a house-elf. Not to be seen is mark of excellence. Not to be seen is good! Why must poor Winky be seen? *peeks behind the cake* naughty, naughty students! *pushes the cake to the side* Shame! Shame! Dumbledore!
Shekiah and Draco: *making out*
Morgan: Thanks for letting us attend Hagrid!
Shadow: I told you you'd like wearing the dress Shekiah.
Shekiah and Draco: *continue making out and don't pay attention to anyone*
Shadow and Morgan: Looks like it's the end! Tune in next time!!!!!! Stop copying me! No you stop! Grrrrrr!!!!! *begin to throttle each other* Muahahahahaha! I said Shuttup!
Everyone: *becomes afraid of the authors, run away making a mess while trampling stuff*
Giant Squid in lake: *grabs the leftover cake and gobbles it down underwater.*
Shekiah and Draco: *continue making out*
____________
New contest! Submit an e-mail to stichette299@hotmail.com to send in who (Ex. Krum) should be sent into St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Also send in why (Ex. Trying to kiss Ron). Whoever gets the most votes wins. The contestants are Krum, Ron, Draco, Hagrid, Fleur, Professor McGonagall, and Shadow! Sorry scratch that Shadow is not one the contestant list. The entries are due by June 8th.
Thanks to our wonderful reviewers!!!! nadz, Wahotsiru, Dakon-sai, and Matsuyi!!!!!!!!! Thank you for submitting reviews! We'll try to put your name at the end when you review.
____________