Harry Potter Gone Wrong!
By MorganShadow
DISCLAIMER:
Morgan and Shadow: *growl* Belongs to J.K. Not us. Now stop asking!
Chapter Eight: Back To Their Bodies . . . Darn . . .
____________
Morgan and Shadow: By an overwhelming margin, the votes stand thus: Keep them switched-1; Switch them back-4! Or something like that . . .
Shadow: *grumbles* And just when we were having fun . . . I em dypley peeshed.
Morgan: Dawn! I gwana doo morie.
Amani: Arf froof roffie Ragan? ARF AROOOOO! (Are they speaking Shagan? NOT AGAIN!)
Mom: NOW CUT TO THE REAL STORY!
____________
*Hermione/Ron, Ron/Harry, Harry/Hermione are sitting around a monopoly board*
Hermione/Ron: You know, Monopoly means-
Ron/Harry and Harry/Hermione: *glare at Hermione/Ron*
Hermione/Ron: What?
Ron/Harry and Harry/Hermione: Don't you say a word.
Hermione/Ron: A word.
*Hermione/Ron gets mauled by Harry/Hermione and Ron/Harry*
Hermione/Ron: ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I'LL SHUT UP!
Two figures in the darkness: *cackle deviously*
Ron/Harry: *whimper* Whozzat???
Hermione/Ron: *soils pants* I think I just -censored- myself . . .
Shrill voice from the shadows: *shrieks loudly* WASH OUT YOUR MOUTH!
*Girl who looks more or less like Morgan or Shadow leaps out of the gloom and begins throttling Hermione/Ron*
Yet ANOTHER shrill voice from the shadows: NO! NONONONONONONO! BAD DORI! BAD! NO THROTTLING HPGW CHARACTERS!
And yet ANOTHER shrill voice from the shadows: *screeches along to some random opera song*
Glass window: *shatters*
Ron/Harry's glasses: *explodes*
Everyone: *claps their hands over their ears*
Opera voice: *is abruptly cut off*
*Morgan jumps out of the shadows dragging Shadow by the throat*
Morgan: Sorry about both of those . . . things. Dori is highly sensitive to swearwords and Shadow is addicted to operatic pop. If there is any such genre of music.
Shadow: *gags and claws at Morgan's hands*
Morgan: Aghhhh! The pain in my poor appendages! *lets go*
Shadow: Now you shall DIE! *screams and revs a chainsaw that magically appears in her hands*
Morgan: AYIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *twirls butcher knives that she pulled out of her hair (she was wearing a bun . . . and Shadow thought they were chopsticks . . . )
Freak who looks like a Fay: Violence is NOT THE ANSWER! And . . . wait . . . no . . . what was I saying? OH YEAH! I'm Dorinda! Dori to all of you readers out there. I'm Morgan and Shadow's older sister by a month or so. And I AM ALSO CALLED PRINCESS ZELDA HARKINIAN IV! Yeah! And . . . yeah . . . some more! *pulls several blonde hairs from amid her long brown tresses*
Shadow: *pokes Morgan between the eyes* See! I TOLD you she was originally blonde! Now hand over the money!
Morgan: Rrrrrrr . . . *steam rises from forehead as she hands over fifty bucks*
Shadow: Hehe . . . *shuffles feet* I gotta go now . . . *takes off and runs over Dori*
Morgan: *chases after Shadow and also runs over Dori*
Dori: *cough, hack, wheeze* Hey! Not cool man! I mean, woman!
Morgan and Shadow: *twitchy twitch twitch* KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL! MUST KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!
Dori: Eeeeeps! *runs*
Morgan and Shadow: AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs after her*
_____________
Dori: *pant, pant* Well, now that I'm a thousand miles away, we will continue this fanfiction!
Morgan and Shadow: *pop up in a poof of illogicalness* Who said that YOU were going to be in this fic?
Dori: BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I WILL UNLEASH MY FULL DITZINESS AND BLONDENESS UPON YOU!
Morgan and Shadow: AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE DITZINESS AND BLONDENESS! ANYTHING BUT THE DITZINESS AND BLONDENESS!
Dori: *grins blondely* Heheheh . . . BLONDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!
Shadow: . . . I am surrounded by cow turds . . .
Morgan: YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! *runs off*
Shadow: o.0 Huh? . . . HEY! *roars and sets Morgan's bum on fire with a flamethrower*
Morgan: *dances around as the fireball nails her square in the rear* OWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS! THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN IN MY BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!
Dori: *looking clueless* I don't get it.
Morgan and Shadow: . . . blondes . . . *sweatdrop*
Dori: *offended* I'm offended! *points to 'offended' caption*
Shadow: As we have previously stated . . .
Morgan and Shadow: . . . blondes . . .
*This goes on for quite a while as Hermione/Ron, Harry/Hermione, and Ron/Harry step up*
All: NOW BACK TO OUR ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM!
Amani: Rarf arfruff aroof roof (Translation: I am surrounded by cow turds).
Morgan and Shadow: Takes one to know one!
Dori: *prances into the room wearing a pink ballerina costume* I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and-oops, wrong musical.
Morgan and Shadow: *hops on those medieval jousting horses* ON WITH THE FANFICTION!
_____________
Ron/Harry: I want to go back to my old body . . . Cho's acting weird again . . .
Cho: Oh Harrikins! I'm soooo sorry about that! Just a joke! *pinches a passing Ravenclaw's butt*
Harry/Hermione: Yeah . . . So do I. Seamus is . . . well . . . see for yourself . . .
Seamus: I swear I'm not a cross-dresser Hermie!!! I looooooooooove you! It was my sister who did that!
Harry/Hermione: Riiiight...
Hermione/Ron: Yeah . . . And Krum REALLY likes you, Ron.
Krum: Ronnie Veasly, my love! Your Juliet is back! Hagrid convinced me to leave you but I know you vant me!
Hermione/Ron: Maybe I can use this to my advantage *still likes Krum* Come here Krummy . . .
All: NO HERMIONE!
Dori: Maybe I can help . . .
Morgan and Shadow: How could YOU a ditzy blonde undo what we Fay twins have done?
Dori: I'm writing this, remember?
Morgan and Shadow: Damn.
Dori: DON'T SWEAR!
Morgan and Shadow: Eep! *hides*
Dori: ANYways . . . All you need is to convince Amani to lick you.
Amani: Wruff? Rarand riff ruffopem? (What? And kiss them?)
Dori: Yes?
Amani: Ruffty row! (-Censored-)
Dori: WHAT *grows slightly larger* HAVE I SAID*gets bigger* ABOUT CURISING? *is fifty feet tall*
Morgan: *looks over at Shadow* You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Shadow: *stares at Dori* . . . yup . . .
Morgan and Shadow: *screaming* BATTLE OF THE TITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS! *grows sixty feet tall*
Dori: Oh no, you don't! *grows seventy feet tall*
Morgan and Shadow: Rrrrrrr . . . *grows six hundred feet tall, breaking the castle roof*
Dori: *blink blink* AUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! *shrinks and runs*
Morgan and Shadow: *shrinks* That's one problem that we don't have to think about anymore.
Hermione/Ron: *gets bright idea* Hey, Amani . . . do you like bacon bits?
Amani: Ruhff? RAFFFY RIFFS? Rihff . . . ruffy riff? (Translation: What? BACON BITS?! Wait . . . what kind?)
Hermione/Ron: Ummm . . . Turkey!
Amani: *eyes get huge* RUUUUUUUUUUUFIEEEEEEEEEEEE! (YUUUUUUUUUMYYYYYYYYYYY!)
Hermione/Ron: All right then . . . hold on one minute. We'll get some for you.
__________________
*Hermione/Ron comes back with armful of crushed turkey bacon bits*
Hermione/Ron: All right, Ron and Harry . . . Everyone's arse over here right now. That makes things a whole heck of a lot easier.
*Harry/Hermione and Ron/Harry scoot over* What now?
Hermione/Ron: We roll in the bacon bits until we're covered in them. Duh.
Harry/Hermione and Ron/Harry: WHAT? WE HAVE TO GET DOG SLOBBER ALL OVER US?!
Hermione/Ron: Like you don't endure that when you visit Hagrid.
Harry/Hermione: Well . . . you have a point there.
Hermione/Ron: Yes I do. GET IN THE DAMN BACON!
Dori: *pops up from wherever she was* NO SWEARING!!! *runs off*
Everyone: Eeeeehhhhhh . . . *sweatdrop*
Harry/Hermione, Ron/Harry, and Hermione/Ron: *get back up*
Hermione/Ron: Well . . . BACON TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!
*odd upbeat hip hop music plays in the background as the three roll in the bacon bits*
___________________
Amani: *strolls in* Ruff arf arfity ruffy? Arrrf ruff ruff . . . ARROOOOOOOFFFFFFF! Arf arfity ruff roofie. . . . ROOFIE ARFARFARF! (Translation: What's that smell? It smells of . . . BACON! And not just ANY bacon . . . TURKEY BACON!)
Hermione/Ron: Come and get it!
Amani: *bounds up and pounces on all three of them, licking them vigorously*
FIFTEEN MINUTES PASSES . . .
*All are licked clean and dripping with dog slobber*
Amani: *is extremely fat* Arrrrrrfffffffff . . . BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP! *hic*
Hermione/Ron, Harry/Hermione, and Ron/Harry: . . . Well? Did it work?
*suddenly, blue lightning flashes and the threesome are engulfed in Altoid- smelling smoke*
Harry/Hermione: Whheeew! You can get high of this s- *gets slapped by an unseen hand*
Scratching from beyond the grave: Scratch Scriiiiiiiitch Scritchy. Scritch Scrootch Scraaaaatch! (Translation: I'm sure that Dori would say, 'Don't swear!'. But she's proved her point, I presume . . .)
Everyone: WHAT POINT?!
SFBTG: Scratch scrootch! (Translation: Ghosts are ALWAYS right!!!)
Harry/Hermione: Hold up . . . Dori sees ghosts?
SFBTG: SCRATCHY SCRITCH SCRAAAAAAAATCHYYYYYYYYYYYY! Scratcha scrootch. Scratch scrootchy scritch? (Translation: HEY! I'M A GHOST TOO YOU KNOW! A GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST! Honeysuckle Fay at my own service. How might I serve myself?)
Hermione/Ron: Are you asking us to cook you or something?
SFBTG, a.k.a Honeysuckle's ghost: SCRATCHY SCRITCH SCROOTCHY! (Translations: NO! YOU HAVE DISTURBED ME! DO NOT DISTURB THE DEAD!)
Ron/Harry: Dude, you disturbed US.
Honeysuckle's ghost: *materializes with huge dragon wings on her back and holding a glass pane covered in scratch marks* Honestly, folks. I'm supposed be scary.
Ron/Harry: AAH! A GIANT LIZARD WITH WINGS IS TALKING!
Harry/Hermione: *singsong voice clapping hands over ears* YOU'RE NOT REEEE- ALLLLLL! YOU'RE JUST A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION COME TO KICK MY ASS!
Honeysuckle's ghost: Chill out. I'm like Casper. Just more scaly. And reptilian. And . . . a girl.
Hermione/Ron: *has pissed pants* I knew it all along!
Honeysuckle's ghost: *gets scratched by glass plat and tosses it away* Screw that glass plate. Never liked it anyway.
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
Honeysuckle's ghost: *waves a claw and they all float back up* Well, I'll be appearing every other chapter, so don't expect me next update. Wait . . . *flicks herself between the eyes* Coming, coming . . . Sorry. The chief apostle wants me to, in his words, "GET YOUR SCALY ARSE UP HERE PRONTO, YOU NO-GOOD EXCUSE FOR A DRAGON!"
Hermione, the most logical: I think we have changed back. We've been in this smoke a long time, haven't we?
*smoke lifts and we see Morgan and Shadow dyed blue and giggling fit to bring the castle down*
Hermione: What in the name of Amani slobber are you two doing?
Morgan: LITTLE PINK ELEPHANTS! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Shadow: MOO! MOO! MOO! AHAHAHAHA! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dori: *pops up* Who gave them access to the liquor cabinet?
Honeysuckle's ghost: *chuckles* It was me. Now; I AM GETTING OUT OF THIS LOONY BIN! *disappears in a burst of blue-white flame*
Morgan and Shadow: Weeheehee . . . FIYAH! *passes out*
Everyone: o.0
Hermione: Back away . . . slowly . . .
___________________
So ends the eighth chapter!
Narrator (we have a narrator? May wonders never cease . . . ): Well, technically, it IS the ninth one, because of the eulogy and all . . .
Morgan: SHUT UP! IT'S THE EIGHTH!
Shadow: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *attacks Narrator*
Narrator: Hey! My name is Bob!
Morgan: Oh for the love of- *joins Shadow in mauling Bob*
Bob: Owie! I want my mommy!
Shadow: *backs off* Can we just go now?
Morgan: Yes! *walks away*
Shadow: *follows*
Bob: *cough* But . . . what *cough* about . . . meeeeeeeee?
Morgan and Shadow: Nobody cares about you, Bob. And just for the record, your mom has been dead for fifty years.
Smoothie: *appears for the first time in a couple months* Mrieowwr rawr purrr meow meeeeeooooooowwwwww? (Translation: Could we get a new narrator now? Like one who actually LIKES to scratch my back?)
Morgan: *rolls eyes* Fine then . . JUDYYYYYYYYYY! I mean . . . MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
Mom: *pops up* What is it, sweetie-lumpkin-pie?
Morgan: *turns green* Ummmmm . . . you're our new narrator for just as long as you don't call me or Shadow that ever again.
Mom: Narrator? YES! I AM NO LONGER JUST A HOUSEWIFE! PRAISE BE!
Morgan and Shadow: *sweatdrop*
~.*:-FIN-:*.~
By MorganShadow
DISCLAIMER:
Morgan and Shadow: *growl* Belongs to J.K. Not us. Now stop asking!
Chapter Eight: Back To Their Bodies . . . Darn . . .
____________
Morgan and Shadow: By an overwhelming margin, the votes stand thus: Keep them switched-1; Switch them back-4! Or something like that . . .
Shadow: *grumbles* And just when we were having fun . . . I em dypley peeshed.
Morgan: Dawn! I gwana doo morie.
Amani: Arf froof roffie Ragan? ARF AROOOOO! (Are they speaking Shagan? NOT AGAIN!)
Mom: NOW CUT TO THE REAL STORY!
____________
*Hermione/Ron, Ron/Harry, Harry/Hermione are sitting around a monopoly board*
Hermione/Ron: You know, Monopoly means-
Ron/Harry and Harry/Hermione: *glare at Hermione/Ron*
Hermione/Ron: What?
Ron/Harry and Harry/Hermione: Don't you say a word.
Hermione/Ron: A word.
*Hermione/Ron gets mauled by Harry/Hermione and Ron/Harry*
Hermione/Ron: ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I'LL SHUT UP!
Two figures in the darkness: *cackle deviously*
Ron/Harry: *whimper* Whozzat???
Hermione/Ron: *soils pants* I think I just -censored- myself . . .
Shrill voice from the shadows: *shrieks loudly* WASH OUT YOUR MOUTH!
*Girl who looks more or less like Morgan or Shadow leaps out of the gloom and begins throttling Hermione/Ron*
Yet ANOTHER shrill voice from the shadows: NO! NONONONONONONO! BAD DORI! BAD! NO THROTTLING HPGW CHARACTERS!
And yet ANOTHER shrill voice from the shadows: *screeches along to some random opera song*
Glass window: *shatters*
Ron/Harry's glasses: *explodes*
Everyone: *claps their hands over their ears*
Opera voice: *is abruptly cut off*
*Morgan jumps out of the shadows dragging Shadow by the throat*
Morgan: Sorry about both of those . . . things. Dori is highly sensitive to swearwords and Shadow is addicted to operatic pop. If there is any such genre of music.
Shadow: *gags and claws at Morgan's hands*
Morgan: Aghhhh! The pain in my poor appendages! *lets go*
Shadow: Now you shall DIE! *screams and revs a chainsaw that magically appears in her hands*
Morgan: AYIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *twirls butcher knives that she pulled out of her hair (she was wearing a bun . . . and Shadow thought they were chopsticks . . . )
Freak who looks like a Fay: Violence is NOT THE ANSWER! And . . . wait . . . no . . . what was I saying? OH YEAH! I'm Dorinda! Dori to all of you readers out there. I'm Morgan and Shadow's older sister by a month or so. And I AM ALSO CALLED PRINCESS ZELDA HARKINIAN IV! Yeah! And . . . yeah . . . some more! *pulls several blonde hairs from amid her long brown tresses*
Shadow: *pokes Morgan between the eyes* See! I TOLD you she was originally blonde! Now hand over the money!
Morgan: Rrrrrrr . . . *steam rises from forehead as she hands over fifty bucks*
Shadow: Hehe . . . *shuffles feet* I gotta go now . . . *takes off and runs over Dori*
Morgan: *chases after Shadow and also runs over Dori*
Dori: *cough, hack, wheeze* Hey! Not cool man! I mean, woman!
Morgan and Shadow: *twitchy twitch twitch* KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL! MUST KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!
Dori: Eeeeeps! *runs*
Morgan and Shadow: AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs after her*
_____________
Dori: *pant, pant* Well, now that I'm a thousand miles away, we will continue this fanfiction!
Morgan and Shadow: *pop up in a poof of illogicalness* Who said that YOU were going to be in this fic?
Dori: BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I WILL UNLEASH MY FULL DITZINESS AND BLONDENESS UPON YOU!
Morgan and Shadow: AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE DITZINESS AND BLONDENESS! ANYTHING BUT THE DITZINESS AND BLONDENESS!
Dori: *grins blondely* Heheheh . . . BLONDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!
Shadow: . . . I am surrounded by cow turds . . .
Morgan: YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! *runs off*
Shadow: o.0 Huh? . . . HEY! *roars and sets Morgan's bum on fire with a flamethrower*
Morgan: *dances around as the fireball nails her square in the rear* OWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS! THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN IN MY BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!
Dori: *looking clueless* I don't get it.
Morgan and Shadow: . . . blondes . . . *sweatdrop*
Dori: *offended* I'm offended! *points to 'offended' caption*
Shadow: As we have previously stated . . .
Morgan and Shadow: . . . blondes . . .
*This goes on for quite a while as Hermione/Ron, Harry/Hermione, and Ron/Harry step up*
All: NOW BACK TO OUR ORIGINALLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM!
Amani: Rarf arfruff aroof roof (Translation: I am surrounded by cow turds).
Morgan and Shadow: Takes one to know one!
Dori: *prances into the room wearing a pink ballerina costume* I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and-oops, wrong musical.
Morgan and Shadow: *hops on those medieval jousting horses* ON WITH THE FANFICTION!
_____________
Ron/Harry: I want to go back to my old body . . . Cho's acting weird again . . .
Cho: Oh Harrikins! I'm soooo sorry about that! Just a joke! *pinches a passing Ravenclaw's butt*
Harry/Hermione: Yeah . . . So do I. Seamus is . . . well . . . see for yourself . . .
Seamus: I swear I'm not a cross-dresser Hermie!!! I looooooooooove you! It was my sister who did that!
Harry/Hermione: Riiiight...
Hermione/Ron: Yeah . . . And Krum REALLY likes you, Ron.
Krum: Ronnie Veasly, my love! Your Juliet is back! Hagrid convinced me to leave you but I know you vant me!
Hermione/Ron: Maybe I can use this to my advantage *still likes Krum* Come here Krummy . . .
All: NO HERMIONE!
Dori: Maybe I can help . . .
Morgan and Shadow: How could YOU a ditzy blonde undo what we Fay twins have done?
Dori: I'm writing this, remember?
Morgan and Shadow: Damn.
Dori: DON'T SWEAR!
Morgan and Shadow: Eep! *hides*
Dori: ANYways . . . All you need is to convince Amani to lick you.
Amani: Wruff? Rarand riff ruffopem? (What? And kiss them?)
Dori: Yes?
Amani: Ruffty row! (-Censored-)
Dori: WHAT *grows slightly larger* HAVE I SAID*gets bigger* ABOUT CURISING? *is fifty feet tall*
Morgan: *looks over at Shadow* You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Shadow: *stares at Dori* . . . yup . . .
Morgan and Shadow: *screaming* BATTLE OF THE TITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS! *grows sixty feet tall*
Dori: Oh no, you don't! *grows seventy feet tall*
Morgan and Shadow: Rrrrrrr . . . *grows six hundred feet tall, breaking the castle roof*
Dori: *blink blink* AUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! *shrinks and runs*
Morgan and Shadow: *shrinks* That's one problem that we don't have to think about anymore.
Hermione/Ron: *gets bright idea* Hey, Amani . . . do you like bacon bits?
Amani: Ruhff? RAFFFY RIFFS? Rihff . . . ruffy riff? (Translation: What? BACON BITS?! Wait . . . what kind?)
Hermione/Ron: Ummm . . . Turkey!
Amani: *eyes get huge* RUUUUUUUUUUUFIEEEEEEEEEEEE! (YUUUUUUUUUMYYYYYYYYYYY!)
Hermione/Ron: All right then . . . hold on one minute. We'll get some for you.
__________________
*Hermione/Ron comes back with armful of crushed turkey bacon bits*
Hermione/Ron: All right, Ron and Harry . . . Everyone's arse over here right now. That makes things a whole heck of a lot easier.
*Harry/Hermione and Ron/Harry scoot over* What now?
Hermione/Ron: We roll in the bacon bits until we're covered in them. Duh.
Harry/Hermione and Ron/Harry: WHAT? WE HAVE TO GET DOG SLOBBER ALL OVER US?!
Hermione/Ron: Like you don't endure that when you visit Hagrid.
Harry/Hermione: Well . . . you have a point there.
Hermione/Ron: Yes I do. GET IN THE DAMN BACON!
Dori: *pops up from wherever she was* NO SWEARING!!! *runs off*
Everyone: Eeeeehhhhhh . . . *sweatdrop*
Harry/Hermione, Ron/Harry, and Hermione/Ron: *get back up*
Hermione/Ron: Well . . . BACON TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!
*odd upbeat hip hop music plays in the background as the three roll in the bacon bits*
___________________
Amani: *strolls in* Ruff arf arfity ruffy? Arrrf ruff ruff . . . ARROOOOOOOFFFFFFF! Arf arfity ruff roofie. . . . ROOFIE ARFARFARF! (Translation: What's that smell? It smells of . . . BACON! And not just ANY bacon . . . TURKEY BACON!)
Hermione/Ron: Come and get it!
Amani: *bounds up and pounces on all three of them, licking them vigorously*
FIFTEEN MINUTES PASSES . . .
*All are licked clean and dripping with dog slobber*
Amani: *is extremely fat* Arrrrrrfffffffff . . . BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP! *hic*
Hermione/Ron, Harry/Hermione, and Ron/Harry: . . . Well? Did it work?
*suddenly, blue lightning flashes and the threesome are engulfed in Altoid- smelling smoke*
Harry/Hermione: Whheeew! You can get high of this s- *gets slapped by an unseen hand*
Scratching from beyond the grave: Scratch Scriiiiiiiitch Scritchy. Scritch Scrootch Scraaaaatch! (Translation: I'm sure that Dori would say, 'Don't swear!'. But she's proved her point, I presume . . .)
Everyone: WHAT POINT?!
SFBTG: Scratch scrootch! (Translation: Ghosts are ALWAYS right!!!)
Harry/Hermione: Hold up . . . Dori sees ghosts?
SFBTG: SCRATCHY SCRITCH SCRAAAAAAAATCHYYYYYYYYYYYY! Scratcha scrootch. Scratch scrootchy scritch? (Translation: HEY! I'M A GHOST TOO YOU KNOW! A GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST! Honeysuckle Fay at my own service. How might I serve myself?)
Hermione/Ron: Are you asking us to cook you or something?
SFBTG, a.k.a Honeysuckle's ghost: SCRATCHY SCRITCH SCROOTCHY! (Translations: NO! YOU HAVE DISTURBED ME! DO NOT DISTURB THE DEAD!)
Ron/Harry: Dude, you disturbed US.
Honeysuckle's ghost: *materializes with huge dragon wings on her back and holding a glass pane covered in scratch marks* Honestly, folks. I'm supposed be scary.
Ron/Harry: AAH! A GIANT LIZARD WITH WINGS IS TALKING!
Harry/Hermione: *singsong voice clapping hands over ears* YOU'RE NOT REEEE- ALLLLLL! YOU'RE JUST A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION COME TO KICK MY ASS!
Honeysuckle's ghost: Chill out. I'm like Casper. Just more scaly. And reptilian. And . . . a girl.
Hermione/Ron: *has pissed pants* I knew it all along!
Honeysuckle's ghost: *gets scratched by glass plat and tosses it away* Screw that glass plate. Never liked it anyway.
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
Honeysuckle's ghost: *waves a claw and they all float back up* Well, I'll be appearing every other chapter, so don't expect me next update. Wait . . . *flicks herself between the eyes* Coming, coming . . . Sorry. The chief apostle wants me to, in his words, "GET YOUR SCALY ARSE UP HERE PRONTO, YOU NO-GOOD EXCUSE FOR A DRAGON!"
Hermione, the most logical: I think we have changed back. We've been in this smoke a long time, haven't we?
*smoke lifts and we see Morgan and Shadow dyed blue and giggling fit to bring the castle down*
Hermione: What in the name of Amani slobber are you two doing?
Morgan: LITTLE PINK ELEPHANTS! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Shadow: MOO! MOO! MOO! AHAHAHAHA! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dori: *pops up* Who gave them access to the liquor cabinet?
Honeysuckle's ghost: *chuckles* It was me. Now; I AM GETTING OUT OF THIS LOONY BIN! *disappears in a burst of blue-white flame*
Morgan and Shadow: Weeheehee . . . FIYAH! *passes out*
Everyone: o.0
Hermione: Back away . . . slowly . . .
___________________
So ends the eighth chapter!
Narrator (we have a narrator? May wonders never cease . . . ): Well, technically, it IS the ninth one, because of the eulogy and all . . .
Morgan: SHUT UP! IT'S THE EIGHTH!
Shadow: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *attacks Narrator*
Narrator: Hey! My name is Bob!
Morgan: Oh for the love of- *joins Shadow in mauling Bob*
Bob: Owie! I want my mommy!
Shadow: *backs off* Can we just go now?
Morgan: Yes! *walks away*
Shadow: *follows*
Bob: *cough* But . . . what *cough* about . . . meeeeeeeee?
Morgan and Shadow: Nobody cares about you, Bob. And just for the record, your mom has been dead for fifty years.
Smoothie: *appears for the first time in a couple months* Mrieowwr rawr purrr meow meeeeeooooooowwwwww? (Translation: Could we get a new narrator now? Like one who actually LIKES to scratch my back?)
Morgan: *rolls eyes* Fine then . . JUDYYYYYYYYYY! I mean . . . MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
Mom: *pops up* What is it, sweetie-lumpkin-pie?
Morgan: *turns green* Ummmmm . . . you're our new narrator for just as long as you don't call me or Shadow that ever again.
Mom: Narrator? YES! I AM NO LONGER JUST A HOUSEWIFE! PRAISE BE!
Morgan and Shadow: *sweatdrop*
~.*:-FIN-:*.~