Watcher 11
"Come on Xand honey you've got to wake up. Prom's three weeks off, and this girl's not gonna take a coma as an excuse for not having a date." Faith stroked her boyfriend's hair even as she fought back tears. It was three days since they'd rescued Xander and Angel from Dalton's gang, and Xander still hadn't regained consciousness. Although his physical injuries were many and painful the doctors thought that wasn't the reason he hadn't worked up. They said his mind had somehow shut down to hide from his brutalisation. The only question was when he would awaken.
A single tear rolled down her cheek. It didn't matter how long it took, the first thing he'd see when he woke would be her face. She hadn't left his side in the past three days. Joyce would bring her food at lunch, either Wes or G would turn up in the evening with some dinner and her schoolbooks (bummer), while Angel and Buff would turn up after patrol with supper. Everybody, even Wes, had been great. But she just wanted her baby back.
"Any change?"
She tensed at the voice, great, she tried to get on with Willow, she really did, for Xander's sake if nothing else, but the two of them just couldn't hit it off. "No Red." She didn't take her eyes away from Xander's unmoving body.
She was surprised when the Wicca squeezed her shoulder before walking over to the other side of the bed. "Xander's a fighter Faith." Faith nodded even as she noticed Willow looked unusually pale; her eyes lacked some of their sparkle. Xander's coma was hitting them all hard. After a few minutes the Wicca spoke. "You really care for him don't you?"
Faith laughed bitterly. "Before Xand I thought caring made you weak, but being here, seeing him like this takes more strength than anything I've ever done." She paused to squeeze Xander's hand. "Before Xand, all the guys I'd ever known had taught me that love was just a cheap con used to get a girl into bed. I get to Sunnyd and my first thought is why you dumb bitches were letting Oz and Xand sniff around you. Why don't you just use 'em and lose 'em? Guys are just good for one thing."
"But now?"
"At first I thought Xander's caring was just another angle. I want to help you, befriend you," she snorted bitterly, remembering a more naive Faith who'd actually fallen for the act and paid the price, "befriend you right into bed. Then he fucking saved my life. And it was like wow, this guy gave enough of a crap to risk his own life to help me. So I took him back to my motel room and had sex."
"What was it like?"
"Geez, what is it with you Red? Into a little partner swapping? 'Cause I'm gotta say I'm betting Wolfie has hidden depths," she let out her first genuine laugh in days at the red-head's shocked face before sobering. "Just jerking your chain Red. Strictly a one man woman these days. Xand was pretty good for a first-timer, not the best I've ever had, but so sweet and gentle, like I really meant something to him," Faith glanced to the floor, ashamed. "He touched something inside of me, something I'd tried to kill. It freaked me out, so I threw him out, left the poor guy thinking he was lousy."
"That was uncool."
Faith nodded at the condemnation she heard in the red-head's voice. "I know Red, I hurt him a lot," she smiled suddenly. "By the way Red you might wanna ask B what really happened to Xand the night we had the big throwdown with the Sisterhood."
"What are you talking about?" Willow glared suspiciously at the body on the bed. "And why did you decide try again with Xander?"
"Oh," Faith realised she would have to be careful about what she said next. "Just over a month ago I got real pissed with Sunnyd, being in B's shadow, I've never run with a crew before, or been good at taking orders, plus I was still wigged about what I felt for Xand so I decided to cut and run. Anyway, Xand turned up as I was leaving and," she paused, suddenly nervous. "You can't tell Wes this, I'm trusting you."
After a second the red-head nodded. "Okay."
"Well you know how mule-headed he can be. He tried to stop me from leaving, told me that I had people who cared for me, a chance to make something for myself. I got real mad, yelled at him, threatened him, but he wouldn't back down, so I told him I wasn't staying around for another roll with him, that he hadn't had been any good the first time." Faith flinched at the memory of the pain she'd seen in Xander's eyes at that remark, it had really hurt him. "But he still wouldn't back down, so I," she braced herself for the inevitable explosion. "I beat him up."
"You did what!" for a second Faith could have sworn the Wicca's eyes flashed black. Suddenly she felt very scared. "I ought to -."
"Do your worse Red," she looked down at the floor, ashamed at her actions, unwilling to meet the witch's eyes. "It can't be any shittier than how I felt when his body lay at my feet. The only guy who'd treated me as a person and I'd beaten him to a pulp."
"I wouldn't be too sure, my worst is pretty bad." The Wicca relaxed slowly. "So what happened next?"
"I was going to leave him, but I knew I'd be killing him so I picked him up and took him back by to my motel room, dressed his wounds and," a fond smile flickered across her face. She'd loved that part of the night, holding him in her arms, protecting him while he'd comforted her with his presence. "In the morning he told me to call B, Fang, and G and we had a council of war. Xander had it all planned, he told me I had to move in with B, and start school again so I felt more part of you all, less cut off. Then he came up with his other rule - told me I had to stop sleeping around -. I was so pissed; I was ready to tear his head off."
"What again?"
Faith flushed at the Wicca's biting reminder of her behaviour before speaking, her eyes starting to sparkle as she recounted the instant she knew she loved Xander. She remembered every word he'd said. "When I got mad, he just looked at me and told me I was a beautiful woman who was passionate, smart, funny and brave. That I was somebody who was worth more than just being a notch on somebody's bedpost. Someone who deserved to be loved and valued by someone in a relationship. If it had just been me and him in the room I'd have cried as it was I was speechless," she chuckled. "Which got a belly-laugh from Fang if you can believe that? Later, when it was just the two of us I asked him out, but he said no."
"No? But you're dating!"
"Yeah," Faith nodded, "but he said he didn't want me to just date him 'cause he was the only guy I knew. But if after a month at school I hadn't met anybody I was interested in, he'd be there like a shot. I agreed but I knew there wasn't any other guy for me." The smile slipped from her face. "I know you don't like me and I don't blame you. I was pretty crappy to you when I first landed in Sunnyd. You're a real cool person, compassionate, smart with plenty of guts and Xander did a damn fine job picking you as his best bud. I know we'll never be buds but I hope we can get on better for his sake," Faith nodded towards her boy-friend's bed- ridden form.
Her words were followed by a long silence. "Who says we can't be friends," the Wicca smiled at her surprised look. "Faith, I never hated you, envied you a little for the way Xander looked at you and the connection you had with Buffy sure, but hate no. You were mean to me, but you also saved my life. Xander was right, you are a good person, you've just had a life that makes it hard for you to open up, trust people. But if you want to be friends we can try. Besides," Willow giggled, "anyone who Cordelia hates is alright by me."
Suddenly a rasping voice joined the conversation. "God will you two stop with the bonding and start with the hot lesbian action. A guy could die of boredom here."
Faith's head snapped towards the bed. A delighted look spread slowly across her face, she leapt onto the bed, threw her arms around Xander's neck and hugged him. "You're awake!" she sobbed, tears rolling down her face. "You're awake!"
"But not for long if you don't loosen your grip."
"Oh sorry baby," Faith reluctantly eased her boyfriend back to the bed and leapt off. "How ya feelin? You want anything?"
Xander grinned. "We'll start with a kiss and work from there," he rasped.
"Got his energy back quickly didn't he," Willow commented. "I'll go and get a nurse." Still grinning, the Witch leaned over Xander and kissed him on the forehead. "Good to have you back Xander," the Wicca turned to her, "I'll ring the others."
"Good to be back Wills."
Once the door had shut behind the Witch, Xander spoke. "So you only want me for a prom date?"
"Hey it's social death not to have a prom date."
"There's always Wes or Gil-, ow!" the man rubbed his arm where she'd hit him.
"How long you'd been awake?"
Her boyfriend grinned weakly. "Started hearing stuff about twenty minutes ago, but it took a while for everything to start working properly."
"So, no change there then," she chuckled at the look on her baby's face before turning serious. "How ya feelin?"
Xander grimaced. "Like hell."
Faith felt tears burn her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't get there quicker," she whispered, her voice trembling.
"Hey, I'll get better," Xander winked at her. "I have to. Got this fiery brunette babe to escort to a prom. Word is she's vicious when she's disappointed and I really don't want to piss her off."
She giggled before moving forward and stroking his hair. She took a deep breath, she was going to open her heart to him, she'd never done that before, not to anybody. "When I first came to Sunnyd, I thought you were a wuss," she laughed self-consciously. "Then you had to save my life. That night we had sex was wonderful, the sweetest time I've ever had. After I threw you out I cried 'cause I knew I was treating the best guy I'd ever met like crap."
"Hey baby, it doesn't matter."
"Yes it does," she insisted tearfully. "Then despite all I'd done you cared enough to stop me running out, not because you wanted an easy lay, but because you gave a damn about me. When you told me I had to stop sleeping around because I was worth more than that. I knew what I was feeling for you - it was," she nearly choked on the word, "it was love. You make me feel happier than I've ever felt, that I'm worth something-."
"Faith," Xander's gentle voice broke in. "You are worth something, a hell of a lot. I'm the lucky one." She opened her mouth but her boyfriend interrupted her again. "No listen, I can't believe this gorgeous woman feels about me the way I feel about her."
"You mean?" she grinned in disbelief, he couldn't feel the same, could he?
"Well of course, now shut up and kiss me."
"Come on Xand honey you've got to wake up. Prom's three weeks off, and this girl's not gonna take a coma as an excuse for not having a date." Faith stroked her boyfriend's hair even as she fought back tears. It was three days since they'd rescued Xander and Angel from Dalton's gang, and Xander still hadn't regained consciousness. Although his physical injuries were many and painful the doctors thought that wasn't the reason he hadn't worked up. They said his mind had somehow shut down to hide from his brutalisation. The only question was when he would awaken.
A single tear rolled down her cheek. It didn't matter how long it took, the first thing he'd see when he woke would be her face. She hadn't left his side in the past three days. Joyce would bring her food at lunch, either Wes or G would turn up in the evening with some dinner and her schoolbooks (bummer), while Angel and Buff would turn up after patrol with supper. Everybody, even Wes, had been great. But she just wanted her baby back.
"Any change?"
She tensed at the voice, great, she tried to get on with Willow, she really did, for Xander's sake if nothing else, but the two of them just couldn't hit it off. "No Red." She didn't take her eyes away from Xander's unmoving body.
She was surprised when the Wicca squeezed her shoulder before walking over to the other side of the bed. "Xander's a fighter Faith." Faith nodded even as she noticed Willow looked unusually pale; her eyes lacked some of their sparkle. Xander's coma was hitting them all hard. After a few minutes the Wicca spoke. "You really care for him don't you?"
Faith laughed bitterly. "Before Xand I thought caring made you weak, but being here, seeing him like this takes more strength than anything I've ever done." She paused to squeeze Xander's hand. "Before Xand, all the guys I'd ever known had taught me that love was just a cheap con used to get a girl into bed. I get to Sunnyd and my first thought is why you dumb bitches were letting Oz and Xand sniff around you. Why don't you just use 'em and lose 'em? Guys are just good for one thing."
"But now?"
"At first I thought Xander's caring was just another angle. I want to help you, befriend you," she snorted bitterly, remembering a more naive Faith who'd actually fallen for the act and paid the price, "befriend you right into bed. Then he fucking saved my life. And it was like wow, this guy gave enough of a crap to risk his own life to help me. So I took him back to my motel room and had sex."
"What was it like?"
"Geez, what is it with you Red? Into a little partner swapping? 'Cause I'm gotta say I'm betting Wolfie has hidden depths," she let out her first genuine laugh in days at the red-head's shocked face before sobering. "Just jerking your chain Red. Strictly a one man woman these days. Xand was pretty good for a first-timer, not the best I've ever had, but so sweet and gentle, like I really meant something to him," Faith glanced to the floor, ashamed. "He touched something inside of me, something I'd tried to kill. It freaked me out, so I threw him out, left the poor guy thinking he was lousy."
"That was uncool."
Faith nodded at the condemnation she heard in the red-head's voice. "I know Red, I hurt him a lot," she smiled suddenly. "By the way Red you might wanna ask B what really happened to Xand the night we had the big throwdown with the Sisterhood."
"What are you talking about?" Willow glared suspiciously at the body on the bed. "And why did you decide try again with Xander?"
"Oh," Faith realised she would have to be careful about what she said next. "Just over a month ago I got real pissed with Sunnyd, being in B's shadow, I've never run with a crew before, or been good at taking orders, plus I was still wigged about what I felt for Xand so I decided to cut and run. Anyway, Xand turned up as I was leaving and," she paused, suddenly nervous. "You can't tell Wes this, I'm trusting you."
After a second the red-head nodded. "Okay."
"Well you know how mule-headed he can be. He tried to stop me from leaving, told me that I had people who cared for me, a chance to make something for myself. I got real mad, yelled at him, threatened him, but he wouldn't back down, so I told him I wasn't staying around for another roll with him, that he hadn't had been any good the first time." Faith flinched at the memory of the pain she'd seen in Xander's eyes at that remark, it had really hurt him. "But he still wouldn't back down, so I," she braced herself for the inevitable explosion. "I beat him up."
"You did what!" for a second Faith could have sworn the Wicca's eyes flashed black. Suddenly she felt very scared. "I ought to -."
"Do your worse Red," she looked down at the floor, ashamed at her actions, unwilling to meet the witch's eyes. "It can't be any shittier than how I felt when his body lay at my feet. The only guy who'd treated me as a person and I'd beaten him to a pulp."
"I wouldn't be too sure, my worst is pretty bad." The Wicca relaxed slowly. "So what happened next?"
"I was going to leave him, but I knew I'd be killing him so I picked him up and took him back by to my motel room, dressed his wounds and," a fond smile flickered across her face. She'd loved that part of the night, holding him in her arms, protecting him while he'd comforted her with his presence. "In the morning he told me to call B, Fang, and G and we had a council of war. Xander had it all planned, he told me I had to move in with B, and start school again so I felt more part of you all, less cut off. Then he came up with his other rule - told me I had to stop sleeping around -. I was so pissed; I was ready to tear his head off."
"What again?"
Faith flushed at the Wicca's biting reminder of her behaviour before speaking, her eyes starting to sparkle as she recounted the instant she knew she loved Xander. She remembered every word he'd said. "When I got mad, he just looked at me and told me I was a beautiful woman who was passionate, smart, funny and brave. That I was somebody who was worth more than just being a notch on somebody's bedpost. Someone who deserved to be loved and valued by someone in a relationship. If it had just been me and him in the room I'd have cried as it was I was speechless," she chuckled. "Which got a belly-laugh from Fang if you can believe that? Later, when it was just the two of us I asked him out, but he said no."
"No? But you're dating!"
"Yeah," Faith nodded, "but he said he didn't want me to just date him 'cause he was the only guy I knew. But if after a month at school I hadn't met anybody I was interested in, he'd be there like a shot. I agreed but I knew there wasn't any other guy for me." The smile slipped from her face. "I know you don't like me and I don't blame you. I was pretty crappy to you when I first landed in Sunnyd. You're a real cool person, compassionate, smart with plenty of guts and Xander did a damn fine job picking you as his best bud. I know we'll never be buds but I hope we can get on better for his sake," Faith nodded towards her boy-friend's bed- ridden form.
Her words were followed by a long silence. "Who says we can't be friends," the Wicca smiled at her surprised look. "Faith, I never hated you, envied you a little for the way Xander looked at you and the connection you had with Buffy sure, but hate no. You were mean to me, but you also saved my life. Xander was right, you are a good person, you've just had a life that makes it hard for you to open up, trust people. But if you want to be friends we can try. Besides," Willow giggled, "anyone who Cordelia hates is alright by me."
Suddenly a rasping voice joined the conversation. "God will you two stop with the bonding and start with the hot lesbian action. A guy could die of boredom here."
Faith's head snapped towards the bed. A delighted look spread slowly across her face, she leapt onto the bed, threw her arms around Xander's neck and hugged him. "You're awake!" she sobbed, tears rolling down her face. "You're awake!"
"But not for long if you don't loosen your grip."
"Oh sorry baby," Faith reluctantly eased her boyfriend back to the bed and leapt off. "How ya feelin? You want anything?"
Xander grinned. "We'll start with a kiss and work from there," he rasped.
"Got his energy back quickly didn't he," Willow commented. "I'll go and get a nurse." Still grinning, the Witch leaned over Xander and kissed him on the forehead. "Good to have you back Xander," the Wicca turned to her, "I'll ring the others."
"Good to be back Wills."
Once the door had shut behind the Witch, Xander spoke. "So you only want me for a prom date?"
"Hey it's social death not to have a prom date."
"There's always Wes or Gil-, ow!" the man rubbed his arm where she'd hit him.
"How long you'd been awake?"
Her boyfriend grinned weakly. "Started hearing stuff about twenty minutes ago, but it took a while for everything to start working properly."
"So, no change there then," she chuckled at the look on her baby's face before turning serious. "How ya feelin?"
Xander grimaced. "Like hell."
Faith felt tears burn her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't get there quicker," she whispered, her voice trembling.
"Hey, I'll get better," Xander winked at her. "I have to. Got this fiery brunette babe to escort to a prom. Word is she's vicious when she's disappointed and I really don't want to piss her off."
She giggled before moving forward and stroking his hair. She took a deep breath, she was going to open her heart to him, she'd never done that before, not to anybody. "When I first came to Sunnyd, I thought you were a wuss," she laughed self-consciously. "Then you had to save my life. That night we had sex was wonderful, the sweetest time I've ever had. After I threw you out I cried 'cause I knew I was treating the best guy I'd ever met like crap."
"Hey baby, it doesn't matter."
"Yes it does," she insisted tearfully. "Then despite all I'd done you cared enough to stop me running out, not because you wanted an easy lay, but because you gave a damn about me. When you told me I had to stop sleeping around because I was worth more than that. I knew what I was feeling for you - it was," she nearly choked on the word, "it was love. You make me feel happier than I've ever felt, that I'm worth something-."
"Faith," Xander's gentle voice broke in. "You are worth something, a hell of a lot. I'm the lucky one." She opened her mouth but her boyfriend interrupted her again. "No listen, I can't believe this gorgeous woman feels about me the way I feel about her."
"You mean?" she grinned in disbelief, he couldn't feel the same, could he?
"Well of course, now shut up and kiss me."