Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. The plot is slightly mine, but not entirely. Everything you recognize belongs to Joanne Kathleen Rowling, the magician who created the Harry Potter series.
Summary: Once, Alice had asked Lily why she and James never got along. In answer, Lily had replied, "Potter and I are incompatible." It was the only thing she and James agreed upon.
A/N: As was pointed out to me by LimeJuiceTub, Neville is a pureblood, and both of his parents would therefore have to be purebloods. So Alice is now a pureblood, and the reason she knows so much about Muggles is because she's been over to Lily's house so many times over the summer. Okay? Good.
Also, I'm surprised that so many of you like Sirius' hyperactivity in the previous chapter. However, since you all enjoy it so much, I've put in more of it for your benefit! Enjoy!
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INCOMPATIBLE CHAPTER TWOLily laughed to herself as she watched the students get off the train and into the horseless carriages that would transport them to Hogwarts. Sirius seemed to be on a sugar high…again. She shook her head, still chuckling. That boy would never learn to do anything in moderation; he was the most extreme person Lily had ever met.
"Would you mind sharing what's so funny, Lils?" Dorcas asked, coming up behind her with Marlene and Alice.
"Sirius," Lily gasped. The other girls looked over and started laughing, as well.
Sirius was currently attempting to convince Hagrid that he was indeed a First Year, and could he go on the boats? The large man was shaking his head while trying to hide a smile behind his giant beard. He looked around, and, catching Lily's eye, waved. She waved back, grinning widely. Sirius took advantage of Hagrid's lack of attention and rushed off down the path, but the gamekeeper simply reached out and grabbed the back of Sirius' black Hogwarts robes, pulling him back effortlessly.
"Sirius, stop!" he exclaimed, frustrated with the hyper seventeen-year-old. "Yeh're gonna make me lose the Firs' Years!"
"But Hagrid, I am a First Year!" Sirius exclaimed earnestly, struggling against Hagrid's grip. Help finally came in the form of James and Remus, who walked over calmly. Peter stood a little way behind.
"Sorry 'bout that, Hagrid," Remus said, grabbing one of Sirius' arms. James grabbed the other. "You know what he's like when he's had too much sugar; we lost control of him when the train doors stopped."
"'S'okay," Hagrid said. He looked down at the boys and did a double take. "I didn' know yeh were Head Boy, James!" he exclaimed. James puffed out his chest proudly.
"Didn't expect it of me, did you, Hagrid?" he asked.
"Nah, I didn'," Hagrid said, waving a large hand. Several students ducked as they made their way to the horseless carriages. "Yeh've caused me too much trouble." Remus and James laughed.
"We should probably get up to the school," Remus said. "See you at the feast, Hagrid!" He and James dragged Sirius towards the carriages with them, and Hagrid waved before turning back to the first years. The three boys managed to make it to the last carriage, where Peter was waiting for them, and Remus and James threw their hyper friend in, quickly jumping in and closing the doors behind them.
"Sirius, if you don't calm down, we won't pull a prank at all," James said seriously. Sirius immediately sobered.
"I'm fine now," he said. The other three laughed.
"So, Prongs," Remus said, as the carriage started off towards Hogwarts, "was Padfoot right?"
"About what?" James asked, confused.
"Miss Lily Evans, of course!" Peter exclaimed. "Do you still like her?"
"No!" James exclaimed, a little too quickly. Remus raised an eyebrow, while Sirius laughed.
"You're horrible at lying, Prongs," he said. "You almost had me convinced—until your eye twitched."
"My eye did not twitch!" James exclaimed.
"You keep telling yourself that," Sirius said. "Admit it, Prongs: you like Lily!"
"Look, Padfoot, can we just drop it?" James asked.
"No," Sirius said, folding his arms. "I'm not stopping until I get a confession out of you."
"Which won't be until the sun rises in the West," Remus cut in. "Give it up, Padfoot; Prongs is more stubborn than a mule."
"I resent that!" James exclaimed. "I'm as stubborn as a stag!"
"Ha ha," Peter said sarcastically. "Stags aren't stubborn, Prongs."
"Shut it," James said. "Now they are."
"I thought they were supposed to be majestic," Sirius said thoughtfully. "You can't be stubborn and majestic at the same time, Prongs."
"Shut up," James said. "I can so be stubborn and majestic."
"I hate to break it to you, Prongs, but you can't," Remus said. "Moving on, is the prank finalized?"
"Of course, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed. Just then, the carriage stopped. As the boys got out, Sirius whispered to the other three, "Just stick with the plan I gave you earlier." He walked up the steps to the giant front doors and into the Entrance Hall.
"What plan?" Remus whispered to James. "He never said anything comprehensible; he was on a sugar high!"
"You remember what he wanted, though," James said. "We'll just do it for his sake. You know he'd probably stop talking to us for a week if we didn't, anyways."
"That's true," Remus sighed. "And after last year, I don't want to not be talking to any of you guys. That was stressful."
Remus was referring to the incident in which Sirius, losing his temper, had told Snape how to find Remus when he was undergoing his monthly transformations into a werewolf. James, upon learning what his best friend had done, had immediately rushed to Snape's rescue, and managed to prevent any serious accidents. However, Remus refused to speak to Sirius for a few months, and James spoke to him only when necessary. Over the summer, they had finally forgiven Sirius, but Remus had confided to James that he would never be able to give Sirius his full trust again.
The boys entered the Great Hall, where most of the school was already assembled. As they made their way over to the Gryffindor table, Jams caught a glimpse of bright red hair, and was suddenly overcome with a wave of guilt. He was Head Boy; he was not supposed to prank the other students any more! What would Lily say?
Why do I care?
***
Lily looked around the Great Hall, taking in the warm, familiar atmosphere of Hogwarts. She smiled. This was where she belonged; the castle of Hogwarts was her home. She looked up at the ceiling, where the starry sky of the night outside was depicted. Her smile broadened as she looked over at the High Table, where Dumbledore was talking with their Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher, Professor Bagarre.
"Lily!" Alice waved her hand in front of Lily's visage. "Wake up!"
"What?" Lily asked, looking around hurriedly. "What's wrong?"
"The Sorting's about to start!" Marlene exclaimed. Lily looked at the front of the Hall, and sure enough, the trembling First Years were standing in front of Professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher. The ragged Sorting Hat was on a stool next to her. The rest of the Hall was clapping; Lily assumed that the Hat had already finished its song.
"They'd better hurry up," Dorcas grumbled. "I'm starving." Her stomach growled for effect as McGonagall called the first name: "Argyle, Joseph!"
"Dorcas!" Alice said reproachfully. "The Sorting's very important—"
"Blah, blah, blah," Dorcas cut in, as the Sorting Hat called out, "HUFFLEPUFF!" She clapped absent-mindedly along with the others. "We get that rubbish from Nearly Headless Nick all the time, I don't need it from you three as well!"
"Dorcas, shush!" Marlene exclaimed. "The less you complain, the faster it'll go!" Her eyes were fixed upon the Sorting as the number of First Years dwindled. Finally, with "Weasley, William!" ("GRYFFINDOR!"), the Sorting ended, and Dumbledore stood up.
"Oh, get on with it already!" Dorcas moaned. The other three immediately shushed her.
"I know that all of you are undoubtedly hungry," Hogwarts' headmaster started, but he was interrupted by Sirius' cry of, "Hear, hear!"
"However," Dumbledore continued, ignoring Sirius, "There are some things that must be said. Bonbons! Twit! Bumblebee! Crick!" The entire school laughed as Dumbledore clapped his hands and food appeared on the shining golden plates in front of them. The First Years stared at the food, amazed, while the rest of the school dug in.
***
Severus Snape was noticing something very odd. As he tried to heap food onto his plate, the dish leapt away from him. Looking up and down the Slytherin table, his housemates were having similar troubles. Finally, a dish dumped its contents over Bellatrix Black's head, drenching her in scalding leek soup. She shrieked loudly. At this, rest of the food at the table emptied its contents over the Slytherins, who were then levitated into the air so that the entire school could see them. Severus felt utterly humiliated; he was covered in peas and mashed potatoes, and the entire Hall could see him!
The other three houses burst out laughing at the Slytherins' plight, but no one attempted to help them out—except for one person. Lily Evans waved her wand, counteracting the levitation charm, and stormed over to where James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were sitting and laughing loudly at their enemies' appearances. As she approached, she saw Peter look at her and stop laughing, nervously communicating her arrival to his friends. Lily's fists were clenched at her sides, her emerald green eyes glittering with fury as her face became slightly pink with anger.
"Hello, Lily," Sirius said, looking at her fearfully.
"What was that?" she asked, biting off each word.
"What was what?" Remus asked, his face the picture of innocence.
"The Slytherins!" she exclaimed, pointing over at the other end of the Hall. "That was cruel! I know it was you four; don't attempt to deny it!"
"We don't," James said calmly, folding his arms over his chest. "What are you going to do, Evans? Give us detention? Take off points?" He gave a fake gasp. "Tell McGonagall?"
"There's no need for her to do so," Professor McGonagall said, coming up from the High Table. "A week's detention and ten points from Gryffindor, Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew. I must say that I'm ashamed of you, Mr. Potter. I had expected better of you, as Head Boy." She turned to Lily. "Five points to Gryffindor, Miss Evans, for counteracting the levitation charm." Lily nodded her head and walked back to her seat as the stern, bespectacled professor turned back to the four boys. "Mr. Potter, I would like to see you in my office after class tomorrow." James nodded to her, and she walked away.
"Stuck-up priss," James muttered as Peter started to eat again.
"Who?" Sirius asked. "McGonagall or Lily?"
"Evans," James said. He made his voice high-pitched, mocking Lily. "I know it was you four; don't attempt to deny it! Oh, Professor McGonagall, I'm such a suck-up; I stick up for the slimy Slytherins, who call me 'Mudblood' all the time! Potter, I'm giving you a detention because you're an arrogant, pig-headed git!"
"Notice how those became more personal towards the end," Sirius whispered to Remus. The werewolf nodded, barely concealing a smile.
"James, she's got a point," Remus said seriously. "We really should stop playing those pranks—" He was interrupted by a loud gasp from Sirius.
"Stop playing pranks?" the black-haired boy asked, mortified. "Who are you and what have you done with Moony?" Remus sighed, shaking his head.
"Sirius, I'm just saying what I think," he said. "We really should stop torturing other students for fun."
"Moony!" Sirius moaned. "That's what's so great about them! I get to humiliate my cousins!"
"Evil as Bellatrix and Narcissa may be, you shouldn't target all of the Slytherins because you don't get along with some of them."
"What about Regulus? Malfoy? Snape?" Sirius asked, getting hysterical. "I can't prank them, either?"
"Sirius, calm down," Remus sighed. "I'm just saying that maybe we should—cut back a little, or at least stop putting so much focus on the Slytherins. You've seen how sore they're getting over it; some day it's going to come back and bite you in the arse."
"Ah, shut it, Moony," Sirius said. "I don't need you preaching to me."
"I'm not preaching, Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. "I'm telling you what I think is right!"
"Which is the same as preaching," Sirius said, shoveling some chicken into his mouth, effectively ending the conversation.
***
"Lily, I still don't see why you get so aggravated about their pranks!" Dorcas exclaimed. Dinner was over; all of the students were in their dormitories. Lily was sitting on her bed, reading a book, Dorcas was sitting in front of the mirror brushing her long raven hair, Alice was brushing her teeth in the bathroom, and Marlene was looking through a photo album and sighing wistfully.
"They're not funny," Lily said curtly, closing her book and setting it down on her bedside table. "They're downright heartless, Dorcas! I know what it's like to be made fun of and teased almost permanently; I got it from Petunia and her friends before I ever came here. I don't want anyone to feel unwanted and hated the way I did. If it wasn't for my parents, I'd be as bitter as the Slytherins."
"But Lily, don't you think that some of them are funny?" Alice asked, coming out of the bathroom. "I mean, you have to admit that that one time when they cast a spell to make all of the teachers talk in verse was funny."
"For the first half of the day, yes," Lily said. "But around lunchtime, the novelty wore off, and it was just plain annoying."
"Lily, you need to loosen up," Dorcas said. "You're too rigid. You can laugh at other people sometimes; everyone does it." Marlene sighed from across the room again. "And stop your sighing, 'Lene!" Dorcas exclaimed, frustrated. "Carlo or Marcus or Pietro or whatever their names are aren't going to remember you, and you'll have forgotten about them by the time you meet your next boyfriend!"
"It's Carlos, and Michael, and Pierre," Marlene retorted, sitting up. Dorcas rolled her eyes. "And they were all perfectly nice boys!"
"Who dumped you when they found out you were a witch!" Dorcas retorted. "Face it, Marlene, they're not worth sighing over!"
"But they were so sweet," Marlene said, her eyes glazing over, "and they all had such dreamy eyes…" She trailed off, lost in thought. Dorcas sighed.
"Here she goes again," the blue-eyed girl said. She walked over and lightly slapped Marlene's face. "Snap out of it, 'Lene!" she exclaimed. "Get your head out of your fantasy world and come back to Earth!"
"I can dream if I like, thank you," Marlene said indignantly.
"Yes, you can," Alice, ever the peacemaker, said. "But there's a point when your dreams become obsessions, and that's what they are right now, 'Lene. You have to admit that you're taking this a bit far."
"No I'm not," Marlene said. "I'm just looking for the perfect guy—"
"None of whom happen to be in your album," Lily cut in. "Give it up, 'Lene. Your perfect guy will come when he comes, and no sooner. Just stop dwelling on Jonas and Stephan and Gregorian."
"Joseph and Stefanio and—"
"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" Dorcas exclaimed. "You can remember the names of all your summer flings, but can hardly recall the dates of the Giant Wars!"
"Well, can you?" Marlene retorted. Dorcas thought for a moment.
"No," she admitted. "But still!"
"Girls?" Lily asked, from her bed by the window. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to sleep. I need to be at my best tomorrow, and I can hardly do that with you two bickering all night." Dorcas and Marlene apologized to their auburn-haired friend, while glaring at each other. Alice sighed.
"Dorcas, 'Lene, can you two just agree to disagree?" she asked. Marlene and Dorcas stared each other down before looking up at Alice.
"I guess so," Dorcas said. "What do you think, 'Lene?" Marlene nodded.
"All right," she said. "And I promise that I'll try to tone it down a bit."
"Thank Merlin!" Dorcas ejaculated. "It's about time!"
"Dorcas…" Alice said warningly.
"All right, all right, I'm going to bed," Dorcas said, hopping into her bed and closing the drapes. Marlene followed her example, but Alice walked over to her bed and sat on it, indicating that Lily should join her.
"Lily, you never told us about your meeting with James," the blonde-haired girl said.
"What's there to tell?" Lily asked. "He came in, I discovered he was Head Boy, I exploded at him, he exploded at me, end of story."
"Then explain why you looked so surprised when they played that prank on the Slytherins; it took you a couple of seconds to rescue the Slytherins, and that's never happened before." Lily sighed.
"I can never get anything past you, can I?" she asked.
"Nope," Alice said. "Now spill."
"It's nothing really," Lily said. "Just…Potter and I made a truce on the train coming here."
"You what?" Alice exclaimed.
"Shh!" Lily exclaimed. "Keep your voice down!"
"Oh, right," Alice whispered. "Sorry."
"Anyways, I offered Potter a truce: he won't bother me, I won't bother him. I took it to mean that he'd actually take his Head Boy duties seriously, but I guess I was mistaken; he's the same old arrogant, uncaring Potter." Alice sighed.
"Lily, can't you and James ever get along?" Lily shook her head.
"I made an effort, Alice, I really did," she sighed. "But I've told you before, we're incompatible; Fate just never intended for us to be friends." She got up and walked over to her bed, pulling the drapes as she climbed in, effectively ending the conversation.
"But then why did you both look so upset after you blew up at James?" Alice whispered, her question cutting through the darkness.
Lily turned over, pretending that she had not heard her friend's comment, but the question echoed through her brain all night, and when she finally got to sleep, her dreams were filled with Slytherins, Head Boy badges, and a boy with messy jet-black hair.
***
On the other side of the Gryffindor tower, in the Seventh Year boys' dormitory, the atmosphere was as different from that of the girls' dormitory as could be. Sirius was bouncing up and down on his bed, claiming that he had missed its "springy quality." (Remus had rolled his eyes as he started to unpack his trunk.) James was standing on his bed, tacking up his Quidditch posters, and Peter was digging through his trunk, throwing his belongings around the room.
"What are you looking for, Wormtail?" James asked his friend as a pair of socks flew past him to settle in the corner.
"My Remembrall," Peter said. "I keep thinking that I've forgotten something, but every time, it slips my mind."
"Is that it?" James asked, pointing to a small circular object that was buried between a shirt and Peter's Divinations textbook.
"Yes!" Peter exclaimed, grabbing it. "Thanks, Prongs!"
"Don't mention it," James said, climbing down from his bed. "Padfoot, will you stop? That bed's going to break soon from all that creaking."
"And then I'll just get the house-elves to bring me a new one, which will be even springier than this one!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Is springier even a word?" Peter asked.
"I don't think so," Remus said. "How much dessert did you have, Padfoot?"
"Umm…three slices of pumpkin pie, two of treacle tart, three bowls of ice cream, five éclairs, a jam doughnut—"
"Stop!" Remus exclaimed. "Where do you put it all?"
"In my stomach, of course," Sirius said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"But how the hell do you fit it in there?"
"I'm a growing boy, Moony! I need food!"
"No, you don't," James cut in. "You eat enough for the entire Seventh Year, and still say you're hungry. And you drive us crazy with your hyperactivity. No more sugar for you."
"You can't make me," Sirius said.
"Oh yes we can," James said. "Or do I need to remind you of the time when we enchanted Snape to be allergic to sugar?" Sirius shuddered.
"You wouldn't do that to me, Prongs, would you?" he asked, stopping his bouncing.
"Of course he would," Remus said. "And I'd help him."
"And so would I!" Peter called from across the room, where he was studying his Remembrall, which was glowing red, a sign that he was forgetting something.
"You're evil," Sirius whined, sitting on his bed. Remus put the last of his robes in his closet and closed his trunk.
"No, we're just trying to keep our sanity," he said dryly.
"Shut it," Sirius said. He then turned to James. "So, Prongs, are you ready to admit to your love for Lily?"
"Are you insane or something?" James asked. "For the last time: I. Do. Not. Like. Lily Evans!"
"We know he's insane, Prongs," Remus said. "But his claim's perfectly justifiable."
"No it's not!" James protested. "I don't like Evans, and that's the end of it!"
"Yes you do," Sirius said. "Admit it!"
"I do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not do not do not!"
"Do too do too do too!"
"Will you cut it out?" Peter asked, rubbing his temples. "You're giving me a headache!"
"You know, sometimes I think the two of you are worse than you and Lily, James," Remus said, flicking his wand at Peter.
"Thanks, Moony," Peter sighed in relief as his headache disappeared. He yawned suddenly. "I'm going to bed."
"So'm I," James said.
"Are you admitting defeat?" Sirius asked as James walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
"Never!" James exclaimed, getting out his toothbrush and toothpaste. "The day I like Lily Evans is the day Snivellus professes his undying love for McGonagall!" Sirius' face lit up, and Remus shook his head.
"Bad move, Prongs," he said quietly. He knew the glint in Sirius' eyes all too well: his black-haired friend was planning something, which did not bode well for James.
Sirius, like James, rarely admitted that he was in the wrong, and was hardly likely to give up on his argument with James about Lily. Remus sighed. They would undoubtedly see the fruit of Sirius' labors by the end of the week; it was no use wondering what he was thinking about. Besides, the werewolf had a pretty good idea of what was going on in his friend's head, and did not want to know what Sirius was going to do.
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A/N: And that's Chapter Two! A big thank-you to all of my wonderful reviewers:
MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus: Thanks! I'm glad you like it so far!
LiLKiKi15: I'm glad you liked Chapter 1; I must have written it three times over before I got it to be what it is. Lol. Hope you liked this one, too!
SoulAvenger: Thanks!
LiTtLe-bLaCk-StAr: Thanks! Hope this was out soon enough for you!
Kokoro: I'm flattered that you think I'm awesome; I hope you liked this as much as the other chapters!
fizban hat: Thanks! I'm still trying to get over the fact that everyone liked that thing of Sirius'…
Charlene: It really seems like I know what I'm doing? I'm honored that you think so. (However, between you and me…I'm just writing this off the top of my head. My muses are the ever-so-fickle purple plot penguins that dance around in my brain, and they have a tendency to desert me whenever I'm planning out plots…) Thanks!
LimeJuiceTub: That has to be one of the greatest compliments I've received: I'm honored that you think I'm so true to JKR's books. She's certainly a great writer! And I didn't notice that about Alice; thanks for pointing that out! (I've fixed that, if you noticed the A/N at the beginning of the chapter.) I'm glad you like the characters; I do too!
true-elfy: Thanks!
met19: I'm glad you think so; thanks!
Hogwarts-Drama-Queen: Personally, I thought the Sirius being hyper was a way overdone cliché that I just had to do, but whatever floats your boat…Thanks anyways!
jess131346: Well, now you know what Sirius' prank is…and yes, you get a cookie! Thanks for reviewing!
child-of-scorpio: Thanks! You really like the truce thing? It was a random thing that came to mind as I was writing, so I just scribbled it down…I'm glad you think it makes it interesting!
ChristyCorr: Thanks! You know, it would really help if you pointed out clichés in my writing, as I'm not too good with spotting them…I would really appreciate it. And thanks for reviewing "Embraceable You": that was an attack of my muses, the purple plot penguins; I'm glad you like it! (And please update "Reason" soon; it's so good, and I desperately want to know what happens!)
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I'm still trying to get over the fact that I've received 26 reviews for this story; that's at least twenty-one more than I expected! Don't forget to review; you guys make my day!
~Eos