Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. The plot is slightly mine, but not entirely. Everything you recognize belongs to Joanne Kathleen Rowling, the magician who created the Harry Potter series.
Summary: Once, Alice had asked Lily why she and James never got along. In answer, Lily had replied, "Potter and I are incompatible." It was the only thing she and James agreed upon.
A/N: This isn't up to my usual standard, but I hope you enjoy it all the same…
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INCOMPATIBLECHAPTER 4
"Lily, wake up!" Marlene yelled at her red-haired friend, pulling on her robes. Lily was the only girl in her dormitory still asleep; Dorcas was brushing her hair, and Alice packing her bag.
"Don' wanna," Lily muttered, turning over and settling into her pillow.
"Let me do it," Dorcas said, coming up to Lily's bed. "Lily!" she exclaimed. "Classes start in five minutes!"
"Five more minutes, Mum," Lily muttered. Her eyes shot open and she sat up. "Five minutes?" she screeched. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" She jumped out of bed and rushed around, getting ready for school in record time. She then grabbed her bag, rushing out of the dormitory. The other three girls looked at each other.
"She's going to kill you, Dorcas," Alice said, grinning. Dorcas grinned back.
"Well, it's her own fault for not setting an alarm," she said. "Then she would have known she has a full hour." They fell silent, listening attentively.
"DORCAS MEADOWES!" Lily bellowed from the common room. The other three girls fell about laughing as they heard her stomp up the stairs. Alice grabbed her bag, standing up.
"Good luck, Dorcas!" she said, rushing out. Marlene followed her quickly. They passed Lily, who was red-faced with anger, on the stairs. The two girls almost started laughing again, but held in their giggles until they reached the common room, where they burst out laughing.
"'Morning, Alice, 'Lene," James said, coming down the stairs from his dormitory. They waved at him, holding onto each other for support. Marlene was crying tears of laughter, and James stared at the two of them. Alice took a few deep breaths, and managed to calm herself down.
"'Morning, James," she said, gasping.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"Lily," Marlene panted.
"Oh, that was Evans I heard shouting down the tower?" he asked, grinning. "What did Dorcas do this time?"
"We couldn't get Lily to wake up, and Dorcas told her that classes start in," Alice checked her watch, "two minutes."
"And she got so agitated she had to jump out of bed?" James asked, chortling.
"Of course," Marlene said. "You know how Lily is about classes; she got ready in two minutes flat." James grinned.
"Give Dorcas my regards," he said. "That's better than any of the other pranks I've played on Evans; much more effective." He walked out of the portrait hole, chortling.
"Shouldn't they be down by now?" Alice asked Marlene after they had spent a few minutes waiting for their friends. Marlene shook her head, her brown curls flopping from side to side.
"You know Lily as I do, Alice," she said. "She's going to get ultimate revenge on Dorcas, which includes yelling, screaming, and an endless attack of hexes."
"Oh, I do hope that Dorcas will be okay," Alice said, and Marlene snorted.
"You worry too much, Al," she said. "Dorcas has always been fine after Lily explodes at her, albeit a little…off-color." Alice laughed, remembering the last time Dorcas had been subjected to Lily's wrath: Lily had turned Dorcas blue, and refused to give her the countercurse. Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse, had been unable to turn Dorcas back, and the poor girl had had to stay blue for a week, after which Lily had forgiven her and restored her friend's natural color.
Everyone had learned not to be on the receiving end of Lily's famed red-headed temper (which was so famous because it was usually directed at James Potter) a week into the school year. She had cursed James to sing, "God save the Queen" every time he opened his mouth; he had been making fun of her difficulties in Transfiguration. Of course, what was even funnier was that it was a Muggle song, and therefore James was constantly forgetting the words and making some up, although he remembered the tune (which he couldn't sing; Sirius used to joke that the day James Potter could sing would be the day the sun rose in the West). Also, Lily's being in First Year, and therefore not wholly skilled in magic, might have affected the outcome of the spell. Finally, Professor McGonagall, taking pity on the rest of the school, had reversed the curse and given Lily a detention, although everyone could have sworn that she had bestowed a rare smile upon the redhead for performing such advanced magic.
Of course, even though everyone had learned not to aggravate Lily, two people still did: James Potter and Dorcas Meadowes. James did it because, well, he loved to make Lily mad, and Dorcas, on the other hand, said she enjoyed the experience of being another color for a week. (She would revert to sarcasm whenever she felt embarrassed; it was her way of covering up her feelings.)
Just then, Lily came down, wearing an extremely satisfied expression. Alice sighed.
"What did you do to her now, Lily?" she asked her friend.
"You'll see," Lily said, smiling as she picked up her bag, which she had discarded on the common room table, and walking out the portrait hole. Marlene shook her head as the portrait closed.
"That's never a good sign," she said. "The last time I saw her wearing that smirk was the time she turned James' hair green and silver the day before the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch game last year." Alice laughed.
"Wasn't that why James wore a hat that match?" she asked. Marlene nodded.
"Lots of girls were disappointed," she laughed. "They so wanted to see his famous messy hair." Alice laughed again.
"What's so funny?" Dorcas asked, coming down the stairs.
"We were just remembering the time Lily turned James' hair green and silver the day before the Gryffindor-Slytherin match last year," Marlene said.
"I remember that!" Dorcas said. "Didn't James send Lily a Howler after that?" The other two girls laughed, and then Alice looked up at their friend.
"Dorcas!" she exclaimed in horror. "What happened?"
"Lily," Dorcas said, grinning. She was hovering above the floor. Two huge wings had sprouted from her back, beating heavily. "I really should thank her; these are going to be so much fun." Alice shook her head.
"Only you would see it that way, Dorcas," she said. "You should know better than to provoke Lily!"
"It's fun," Dorcas said. "You should try it sometime."
"No thanks," Marlene said, standing up and swinging her bag over her shoulder. "I don't much fancy walking around with my feet on backwards." Dorcas laughed.
"Tell Lily to do that to James next time he bugs her," she said. "She'll love it."
"Dorcas!" Alice exclaimed, standing up. "You shouldn't promote that kind of behavior in either of them."
"Yes, Mum," Dorcas said, grinning. "I'll try to remember that in the future." Alice shook her head, walking out of the portrait hole.
"Think she realizes she left her bag here?" Marlene asked her hovering friend with a grin.
"Nah," Dorcas said. "She's too focused on getting to Lily before we do, and preventing any Lily-James disasters."
"We'll have them anyways," Marlene said, walking to the portrait hold. She turned around just before climbing into it. "Oh, and James said to congratulate you on irritating Lily that much. To quote him, 'That's better than any of the other pranks I've ever played on Evans.'"
"I'll thank him at breakfast," Dorcas said, flapping her wings and flying over to the portrait hole. She landed on the floor. "Let's go." The two climbed through the portrait hole—Dorcas had some difficulty fitting her wings through—and walked down to the Great Hall.
***
James walked into the Great Hall and sat down next to Remus, who was calmly eating his porridge and reading a book. Sirius rushed in and sat across from them, bouncing up and down in his seat. James sighed.
"How much sugar, Remus?" he asked. Remus looked up at Sirius and rolled his eyes.
"None, actually," the werewolf said, returning his gaze to his book. "But he's definitely excited about something."
"Have you guys seen Snivellus?" Sirius asked eagerly, still bouncing up and down.
"No, and stop your bouncing, Sirius," James said. His hyperactive friend plopped down on his seat, but could not sit still; within a few seconds, he was shifting uncontrollably. James buried his head in his hands.
"We won't get any peace until Snivellus shows up," he said to Remus, who was still focused on his book.
"Lovely," Remus said absently. His head shot up. "Did you say Snivellus?"
"Yes," James sighed. Both his friends were going insane. "And have you seen Peter?"
"Haven't you?"
"Not after he left," James said. "I was the only one in the dorm when I left. He said he was coming down."
"Maybe he had some homework he forgot to finish," Remus suggested.
"Maybe," James said. He looked over at the doors. "Oh, look, there's Evans!"
"Why are you so interested in Lily all of a sudden, James?" Remus asked, closing his book and putting it down. At James' questioning glance, he answered, "I'm never going to get any reading done with all this noise."
"I'm not interested in Evans," James protested. "'Lene just told me that she was in a temper this morning because Dorcas woke her up and told her that she only had a couple of minutes until classes begun. I just wanted to see if she was right." Remus looked over at Lily, who had just sat down a few seats away from them and waved at her. She waved back, her green eyes sparkling in the morning sunlight streaming from the bewitched ceiling.
"She doesn't look mad," Remus said.
"Maybe she's already got her revenge on Dorcas," James suggested. "Then she'd be happy."
"I guess," Remus said. Just then, Peter entered the Great Hall and slipped into the seat beside Sirius.
"Morning, James, Remus," he said. The chubby boy immediately reached for a plate of pancakes, heaping them onto his plate and drenching them in maple syrup. He looked over at Sirius, who had recommenced his bouncing. "You guys know what's wrong with Sirius?" he asked. James and Remus shook their heads.
"Nah," James said, "but we think it has something to do with a prank on Snivellus—speak of the devil!" For the doors to the Great Hall had burst open with a loud crash, revealing the dark form of Severus Snape, his hair as greasy as ever. Sirius stopped his bouncing, eyeing Snape with a glint in his eye. Remus groaned; he knew that glint. Snape was about to be humiliated beyond his wildest nightmares. The entire hall watched as Snape walked up to the High Table and stopped directly in front of Minerva McGonagall, who looked as surprised as the rest of the school.
"Sonorous," Sirius whispered, pointing his wand at Snape. The black-haired Slytherin knelt in front of the Transfiguration professor and opened his mouth to speak. His voice, magically magnified to ten times its normal volume, reverberated around the Hall.
"Minerva," he said, his voice lacking its usual sarcastic tone, "I love you madly." The entire school, with a few exceptions, burst out laughing, almost missing the rest of Snape's speech. "I burn with desire for you. Every fiber of my being aches to be near you; I will always love you. Please, make me the happiest man alive and say you'll be mine." He took Professor McGonagall's hand in his. She immediately removed it from his grasp and looked around the Hall, apparently lost for words—a first, James noted.
"Fini—finite incantatem," Sirius gasped, pointing his wand at Snape once more, tears of laughter streaming down his face. Sirius then whispered another spell—James could not quite catch it, but was sure that Sirius was covering up his tracks, so to speak; the boys had had several nasty incidents involving priori incantatem.
At the front of the Hall, Snape blinked and shook his head, looking around. Once he realized what was going on—he was kneeling in front of his Transfiguration professor, who was looking down at him in shock, and the rest of the school was laughing—it only took him a few seconds to put two and two together.
"Potter! Black!" he yelled in fury, his face turning red. He stormed over to where the four Seventh Year Gryffindor boys were sitting, laughing uproariously. They quickly composed themselves, each looking very innocent—especially Sirius.
"You yelled, Snivelly?" Sirius asked, looking up at the dark-eyed Slytherin.
"I know you did this," Snape spat.
"We're afraid we don't know what you mean," James said. "After all, you just proclaimed your undying love for McGonagall. It's kind of hard to understand what you're accusing us of."
"You made me do that!" Snape yelled, pointing at McGonagall, who had just recovered from her shock and was storming over to them, looking as if she could breathe fire. The entire Hall was now watching the proceedings, highly amused.
"I don't know what you intended by that, Mister Snape," she said, "but it was entirely inappropriate. Fifty points from Slytherin."
"But Professor!" Snape exclaimed. "It wasn't my fault! It's Potter and Black—they made me do it!"
"Do you have proof of that claim, Mister Snape?" McGonagall asked, looking at James and Sirius.
"Test their wands—I'm sure they did it!" Snape exclaimed. McGonagall sighed.
"Very well," she said. "Mister Potter, Mister Black, hand over your wands."
"Certainly," Sirius said. He and James gave her their wands, and she pulled her own out, pressing it to the tip of James' wand.
"Priori incantatem," she said. A ghostly image of James' robes appeared; the last spell he had performed was summoning his robes to him from the mess on the dormitory floor. "Deletrius," McGonagall said, and the image disappeared. "Priori incantatem," she repeated the process with Sirius' wand, and an image of shoes tying their own laces appeared. She deleted the image, returned the boys' wands, and turned to Snape.
"A further twenty points, Mister Snape, for accusing others of something they did not do," she said sternly. "And you will join Mister Filch for detention tonight at eight in the Trophy Room. Do I make myself clear?"
"Perfectly, Professor," Snape said sullenly. He shot a malicious glare at the four boys before slouching away to the Slytherin table. Professor McGonagall watched him go before walking briskly back to the High Table. As soon as she was out of earshot, James and Sirius started laughing again.
"Did you see his face?" James asked gleefully. "Why didn't you tell us you were doing that, Sirius?"
"I wanted to keep it a secret," Sirius said, grinning. "That was the perfect way to lighten up a Friday morning, don't you think?"
"Of course it was," Peter agreed. "But whatever possessed you to do it?"
"Tell you later," Sirius said. He quickly grabbed his bag, a piece of toast, and dashed out of the hall. The other three stared after him, wondering why he had left in such a hurry. The answer was revealed when James realized that Lily was standing behind the place where Sirius had been seated, arms akimbo.
"Where'd Sirius go?" she asked, surprised.
"He just realized that he'd forgotten his Transfiguration essay in the Tower," James lied smoothly. "What do you want, Evans?"
"You four did that to Snape, didn't you?" she asked, narrowing her green eyes at him.
"We didn't, Lily," Remus assured her. "Well, at least, we three didn't…"
"You mean that Sirius did that on his own?" she asked, her eyes widening slightly.
"Yes," Peter said. "You're not going to tell on him, are you?"
"Tell on him?" she asked, looking surprised. "Why would I tell on him?"
"Well, he pranked Snivellus—" Peter started, but Lily waved his comment away.
"That was excellent!" she exclaimed. The other three boys stared at her.
"Who are you and what have you done with Lily Evans?" Remus asked finally. Lily laughed, and James started; she rarely laughed around him. Her laugh was one of the most beautiful things he had ever heard, sounding light and bell-like. Snap out of it, Prongs, he thought, focusing on Lily again.
"Now, let's see," she said, thinking. "I'm Petunia Evans, and Lily is at home, tied up in the basement." Remus laughed loudly while the other two boys looked at her in confusion, not understanding the joke.
"Petunia's my sister, and the worst Muggle I've ever met," she explained. "She hates all things magic, and therefore, doesn't like me. But really, I needed a break from all the work we've been having, and that didn't hurt anyone—except for Snape's pride, and he needed to be taken down a few pegs." She grinned. "If you see Sirius, congratulate him for me, will you?"
"Of course," Remus said. James was still staring at Lily in shock as she waved at them and waltzed out of the Hall, her bag slung over her shoulder.
"See something you like, Prongs?" Peter asked his messy-haired friend.
"Yeah," James said, still staring at Lily's back. He jumped as Remus and Peter laughed.
"I don't think Sirius needed to do that prank, Prongs," Remus said, standing and putting his book into his bag as he swung it over his shoulder.
"What do you mean?" James asked, confused. He stood up, too, and grabbed his bag. Peter followed them as they left the Great Hall on their way to Charms, their first class of the day.
"Remember our first night back, when you said, 'The day I like Lily Evans is the day Snape professes his undying love for McGonagall'?" Remus asked James. James looked at his friend in surprise.
"You mean that's why he did that this morning?" he asked. Remus nodded, and James shook his head. "I can't believe he'd do that to me," he said.
"Oh yes you can," Peter said. "You know Padfoot." James sighed.
"I know," he said. "But still! I don't understand what the fascination you four have with me fancying on Evans is!"
"It's because you do, Prongs," Sirius said, coming and joining them. "So, did everyone's favorite fireball explode at you guys?"
"Nah," Remus said, grinning. "She said to congratulate you, Padfoot." Sirius tripped over himself, falling flat on his rear end.
"She what?" he asked in shock. He stood up, rubbing his bottom. "You're joking!"
"Not at all," Remus replied dryly. "She said she needed a break, and that the prank didn't hurt anyone, so she's okay with it."
"The world is coming to an end," Sirius said, dramatically flopping onto the ground again. His head hit the stone, and he sat up immediately, clutching his head. "Ow," he moaned. "That hurt."
"Serves you right," Peter said. "That was pure idiocy, Padfoot."
"Shut it," Sirius said, standing up. "Prongs, you have to admit that you like Lily."
"I don't," James protested.
"Then please explain why you were staring at her this morning as if she was the most beautiful person you've ever seen," Peter said.
"Well, she is pretty," James admitted. "But that doesn't mean I fancy her!" he exclaimed, upon seeing Sirius open his mouth.
"Yes, you do," Remus said. "Anyone can see it, Prongs; it's there in plain sight."
"Shut it," James said. He stopped walking; they had come to the Charms classroom. "And if any of you three say that I like Evans one more time, I will personally hit you over the head with a cleaver." And with that, he walked into the class, leaving his friends staring at each other.
"Since when did Prongs start giving out death threats?" Peter asked.
"Since he realized that he fancies our dear Miss Evans," Sirius said, tapping the side of his nose knowledgeably.
"Padfoot, just give it up," Remus said, walking into class. "You know that Prongs is never going to give in."
"And neither am I," Sirius said determinedly. He walked over and sat next to James, watching the door. He suddenly jerked up. "What the—?" Dorcas had just entered the room, hovering above the ground. James grinned.
"So this is Evans' revenge, Dorcas?" he called to her. She grinned back.
"Yep," she said. "I have to thank her; it's so much easier to get to class now."
"Speaking of Evans, where is she?" James asked, looking around. "She left the Great Hall a while before we did."
"Probably trying to convince Professor McGonagall that it isn't her fault Dorcas is suddenly impersonating an owl," Marlene replied, entering and slipping into her seat next to Dorcas. The others laughed as Alice entered, Lily right behind her.
"How'd it go, Lily?" Dorcas asked her. Lily grinned.
"She can't prove it was me, so she can't give me a detention," she said. "And you're not going to tell her if you don't want your feet on backwards." Dorcas laughed.
"I wasn't intending to," she said. "I like my wings." Lily laughed.
"I'll have to think of something new, then," she said. "I can't have you liking my revenge, now can I?"
"Of course you can," Dorcas said. "It's called helping a friend. I helped you this morning, and you did me a good turn as thanks." Lily shook her head, smiling.
"You're insane, Dorcas," she said.
"And proud of it," Dorcas retorted. Just then, the bell rang, and Professor Flitwick rushed in, cutting off all further conversation. They were learning Protean Charms, and, to James' chagrin, Lily was able to perform hers on the first try, while his rocks firmly refused to change in any way or form. He was in a temper when he left Charms, heading for Double Potions with the Slytherins (the Gryffindors would forever wonder why they shared classes at all, when neither House could stand the other), which was not always the best thing.
Potions was taught by Professor Malotier, an elderly man who was the Head of Slytherin House. (Professor McGonagall was Head of Gryffindor, and the rivalry between the two teachers was legendary; it was said that they refused to talk to each other in the two weeks before and after a Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match.) Of course, like all the other Heads of Slytherin, he despised the Gryffindors, especially James, who, in his eyes, was the very embodiment of everything Gryffindor. Thus, he took every opportunity he could to make James look bad and portray Snape, his favorite student, in a good light. To further this, he always paired the two together when they were having a practical lesson (or he would pair James with Lily, knowing how much the two hated each other). When James went to Potions in a bad mood, it inevitably ended badly for him.
As soon as James slammed his bag down on his table, he knew he was in for a bad time. Malotier was looking at him with the glint in his eye that always meant he was going to get James, and James did not want to think of whatever fresh method of torture the Potions Master had thought up. As soon as the bell rang, Malotier started.
"You should have finished researching your Memory Potions by now," he said. "Today, you will be brewing them with a partner." James' head shot up; he had forgotten to finish his essay on Memory Potions. I'm dead, he thought, as Malotier looked over at him. It was almost as if the Professor knew that James had not finished his homework…but no, that was impossible. However, Malotier's next comment caused the entire class to panic.
"To see how much you have retained, I will be collecting your essays before you start working." The students looked around worriedly, with two exceptions: both Lily Evans and Severus Snape appeared unperturbed by the information. Malotier continued to drop bombshells on them.
"I will also be pairing you up; you shall not pick your partners." He looked over at James and Sirius, who were sitting next to each other. "If not, we may have…problems." James immediately knew that he was referring to the numerous times Snape's cauldron had exploded, or that his potion had turned out terribly wrong.
"Potter!" the teacher barked. James immediately sat up straighter.
"Yes, sir?" he asked Malotier.
"Your essay," the Professor commanded. James shrugged.
"I didn't finish it," he said calmly.
"I see," Malotier said. "Detention, Potter, and ten points from Gryffindor. Now, did anyone else fail to complete the assignment?" The class was silent. "All right, then; pass up your papers." There was a flurry of movement as each student fumbled in their bags for their essays and passed them to the front of the room. After having collected the assignment, the Professor faced the class once more.
"I will now assign your partners," he said. "These will be your partners for the rest of the term, so pay attention!" James tuned out, watching his classmates move around but not really attentive, until Malotier called out, "Potter! Evans!" Thank Merlin I'm not with Snape, James thought, gathering his things and walking over to sit beside Lily as the Potions Master called out, "Black! Snape!" Lily laughed.
"I almost pity Snape," she said, grinning.
"I don't," James said. "The git doesn't deserve any pity."
"Why, what's he ever done to you?" Lily asked him sharply, turning to face him. James was forcibly reminded of another time when Lily had asked him the same question, and winced when he thought of his answer: "Well…it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"
"Potter?" Lily asked, waving her hand in front of his face, jerking him out of the memory. "You didn't answer my question."
"You know what he's like, Evans," James said curtly. "He thinks Muggleborns are scum—"
"Just like every other Slytherin," she cut in. James proceeded, not paying any attention to what she was saying.
"He hates all Gryffindors—"
"Again, like every other Slytherin."
"And worst, he wants Remus expelled." Lily looked at James in surprise; this was something she had been unaware of. She had certainly been aware of the rivalry between James' group of friends and Severus Snape, but had not realized that Snape's dislike of the boys was so intense. And…Remus? Why would Snape hate Remus so much? If anything, Remus was the only one who could restrain Sirius and James when it came to Snape!
"Snape came across Remus in his you-know-what form at that time of the month," James explained in a low voice. "I'll tell you some other time." He jerked his head to the front of the class, where Malotier was standing, waiting for the class to settle down.
"You will find all the ingredients you need in the cupboard," the Professor said, gesturing to the closet where the Potions stores were kept. "You may begin."
"So," James said, turning to Lily, "what do we need?" Lily sighed in exasperation.
"Did you even start the assignment?" she asked him.
"Of course I did!" James explained. "I just had other things to do!"
"Things such as pranking Snape?" Lily asked snidely. James flushed slightly.
"Not really," he said.
"Oh, don't lie to me!" she exclaimed. "You didn't even help me patrol the hallways after hours!"
"We're supposed to do that?" he asked in surprise. Lily sighed, burying her head in her hands.
"Why Dumbledore made you Head Boy, I'll never know," she groaned. She then straightened up. "All right, getting back to the potion, we need scarab beetles, root of asphodel, bundimun secretion, armadillo bile, jobberknoll feathers, horned toads, knotgrass—"
"Whoa, whoa," James said, cutting her off. "Can you write that down?"
"Sure," she said, pulling out a piece of parchment and writing the ingredients on it. "Now go and get these, and make sure you have the right amounts."
"All right," James said. He pushed his way to the front of the store cupboard, taking careful attention to stepping on Snape's feet. The greasy-haired Slytherin yelped in pain and started hopping around, clutching his foot and bumping into several people and tables, knocking them over and effectively causing chaos. Faster than James could say, "bundimun," Malotier was on the site.
"What's the matter, Snape?" he asked, concerned.
"Potter stepped on my foot!" the Slytherin howled, still clutching his toes. "I think it's broken, sir."
"Very well," Malotier said. He looked over at James, who was trying his best to look innocent. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor, Mister Potter, for violence. Miss Black, please escort Mister Snape to the Hospital Wing." Bellatrix Black, Sirius' dark-haired Slytherin cousin, stood up, smirking at Sirius and James, and helped Snape leave the classroom. "And why is there a sheet of parchment in your hand, Potter?" Malotier asked.
"Umm…I needed a list of the ingredients in the potion," James said.
"And why did you need this list?"
"Because I couldn't remember what we need to make it, sir."
"Could that possibly be because you did not do your essay?" Malotier asked maliciously.
"Possibly, sir," James replied.
"A further five points from Gryffindor for irresponsibility, and give me that parchment." James sullenly handed over the parchment, and Malotier walked back up to the front of the dungeon. The entire class was staring at James.
"Well? What are you looking at?" he asked irritably. "There's nothing to see!" The others turned back to their cauldrons, the exception being Sirius, who walked over to the cupboard, pulling out the ingredients he needed.
"Good job, Prongs," he muttered under his breath as James tried to remember what Lily had said. "You've got rid of Snivellus for the whole class; I don't have to bother with him!"
"Well, I'm glad you're happy, but I can't figure out what the hell I need!" James whispered back fiercely.
"Then ask Lily!"
"She'll kill me!"
"As if she doesn't do that every day?" Sirius asked.
"Good point," James said. He walked back to the table he was sharing with Lily.
"Do you have the ingredients we need?" she asked, starting a fire under their cauldron.
"Um…"
"Of course you wouldn't," she continued, straightening up and looking at him. "What am I thinking?" As James opened his mouth to protest, she kept going. "Watch the fire—you can do that, can't you?"
"Of course I can!" James exclaimed. "But—"
"Good," Lily cut him off. "I'll get the ingredients."
"But—I—Evans!" But Lily was already at the store cupboard. Within a minute, she returned and meticulously started measuring out the bundimun secretion.
"Here," she said, pushing the scarab beetles towards James, along with a mortar and pestle. "You need to crush all of these." James, realizing that it was no use arguing with her, obeyed wordlessly.
The rest of the class proceeded in this manner, with the occasional explosion and cry of frustration as the students erred; Memory Potions were very difficult to make, and when not properly brewed, they were extremely volatile. Several students had to make their way up to the Hospital Wing, and Malotier became increasingly angry as it became evident that James and Lily would not mess up their potion. Finally, just seconds before the bell rung, their potion turned the pale sky blue that it was supposed to be. James bottled the solution while Lily started to wash her hands.
"Make two samples," she said over the rush of water. James rolled his eyes but did as she had said; he had had experiences with the Potions Professor knocking his samples over, causing him to lose all his hard work. Just to make certain, he placed an Unbreakable Charm on both of them before turning them in. He then washed his hands under the gargoyle spout as Lily turned to the cauldron.
"Evanesco," she said, and the bubbling blue solution disappeared. Just then, the bell rang and they left.
"You were talking about how Snape came across Remus at that time of the month?" Lily asked as they walked to lunch. Dorcas and Alice had all gone to the Hospital Wing after Rodolphus Lestrange's cauldron had exploded next to them, and Peter had succeeded in melting his cauldron (Marlene and Remus did not take Potions, instead choosing to take Ancient Runes). Sirius had gone ahead, having finished his potion well before the bell rang.
"Oh, that," James said. "Not here; I'll explain it to you after classes."
"All right," she said. "When's your detention?"
"Eight tonight," he replied promptly. "As usual." She sighed.
"I guess that means I'll be patrolling alone tonight—again."
"Why not ask Remus to go with you?"
"He was assigned to go with Elphias Doge," Lily replied. "You were my assigned partner."
"I'm sorry; I honestly didn't know," James said, as they entered the Great Hall.
"How can you not know?" she asked, exasperated. "I mentioned it the very first Prefect meeting!"
"On the train?"
"Yes!"
"Oh," James said. "That explains it."
"Why, weren't you listening?"
"Um…would you kill me if I said no?"
"You weren't, then," Lily said. "Why can't you ever be responsible?"
"Hey!" James exclaimed. "I'm captain of the Quidditch team!"
"And that just requires so much responsibility that you don't have any time to pay attention in Prefect meetings," Lily said sarcastically.
"Of course," James said. "It's terribly stressful."
"You're an ass, you know that?" she asked.
"No, I wasn't aware of that," James said. "But thank you for informing me of the fact. I'll be sure to take note of it." Lily sat down at the table and buried her head in her hands as James sat next to her.
"Will you ever grow up?" she asked.
"Nope," James said proudly. "I'll stay a boy forever!" She sighed.
"You're hopeless."
"And proud of it." Lily shook her head.
"I'm going to go sit with sane people," she said, getting up.
"Hey!" James exclaimed. "Are you saying that I've lost my mind?"
"What if I am?"
"I'd say you're absolutely right and ask if it's taken you this long to realize it."
"That's it," Lily said. "I'm going to go sit with Marlene. And as for patrols, you don't have to do it; you'll just have to do all the Heads Reports on your own every week." She grinned and walked over to sit next to Marlene.
"Were you just having a civil conversation with James, Lily?" Marlene asked, eating a piece of shepherd's pie.
"Strangely enough, I was," Lily said, helping herself to a sandwich. "He's utterly insane."
"And you've just realized this?"
"I never really talked to him properly before," Lily reminded her friend. "It's understandable."
"No it's not; you should have tried to get to know him." Lily set down her sandwich and fixed Marlene with her deep green eyes.
"'Lene, I had a perfectly good reason not to try to get along with him," she said. "He was a prat—he still is, although he's a bearable prat now. And we were never meant to get along, anyway."
"You are now," Marlene pointed out.
"A minor point," Lily said, waving her friend's comment away. "Before long, we'll be arguing and it'll be as things have never changed."
"For the sake of your sanity and ours, I hope not," Marlene said. "I really hope not."
***
"So, Prongs," Sirius said, bouncing on his bed, "you never admitted your love for Lily." It was well past midnight, and James had just returned from his detention, which had not been as bad as James had feared. He had simply had to clean out the bedpans in the Hospital Wing, which was nothing new for him.
"I never said I loved her," James retorted, climbing into his bed. "I don't know where you've got that from."
"So you admit that you fancy her?"
"Did I say that either?"
"It's in plain sight, Prongs," Sirius said, stopping his bouncing and becoming serious—well, as serious as he could be. "Anyone with eyes can see that you're smitten." James sighed.
"Is saying yes all that it'll take to get you off my case?" he asked his friend.
"Yes," Sirius said. "But I'll also tease you for eternity and try to get the two of you together."
"It would never work, even should we like each other," James protested. "We're just too different."
"Opposites attract."
"Since when?"
"Since I said so."
"So then never," James said triumphantly, settling back against his headboard with a smirk.
"Shut up," Sirius said sullenly.
"You shut up; you're the one who insists that I fancy Lily!" James exclaimed. Wait; had he just called her Lily? He prayed that Sirius had not noticed his slip-up, but it was too much to hope for.
"You just called her Lily!" Sirius exclaimed. "You do like her!"
"Fine," James said in annoyance. "Fine. I fancy her, are you happy now?"
"Nope," Sirius said cheerfully.
"Now what do you want?"
"You have to tell her that you like her."
"Oh, no," James said, sitting up and looking over at his friend. "I am never telling her."
"So then what are you going to do about it?" Sirius asked.
"I'm going to keep on as we are and I'll eventually stop fancying her, and things will be back to normal."
"Why can't you just accept the fact that you're carrying a flame for Lily as a natural part of you?" Sirius asked, frustrated.
"Because it's not!" James exclaimed. "We're just not meant to be anything beyond acquaintances!"
"So it's progressed from enemies now," Sirius said, grinning.
"No!" James protested. "That wasn't what I meant!"
"Then what did you mean, Prongs?" Sirius asked.
"I…well…what I meant to say was…" James fumbled for an answer to his friend's question. "Oh, screw it. That was what I meant." Sirius grinned.
"Poor Prongs, he's all confused in his head," he said. He then yawned widely. "I'm going to sleep," he added. "But Prongs—all jokes aside, you really should try to tell Lily how you feel. You'll never get anywhere with her otherwise."
"What if I don't want to get anywhere with her?" James asked.
"Then you're an idiot," Sirius replied simply, drawing his hangings around his bed. Snores soon emitted from the area, a sure sign that he was asleep. James sighed, turning over. He was soon fast asleep, his dreams filled with a red-haired, green-eyed girl who smiled beatifically at him before kissing him.
James turned over in his sleep and grinned broadly.
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A/N: There's Chapter 4! I hope you liked it…And now is the part where I thank all the wonderful people who reviewed Chapter 3!
LiTtLe-bLaCk-sTaR: You're always first on the list of reviews because you review first…I do this in the order of when a person reviews…Lol. I know the whole "rubs you the wrong way" thing; I've dealt with it before, too. Thanks for your lovely comments!
jess131346: Yeah…we're all Dudleys at heart, aren't we? Mmm…cookie goodness…Lol. Yes, James does "lurve" Lily now…isn't it great? Thanks!
LimeJuiceTub: Yeah, I was having trouble writing the end…I was trying to figure out where to end it. I'm glad you liked it, though. I've never really thought about the whole consequences if James keeps pranking the Slytherins, but I'll try and incorporate that sometime…it should come up in the next few chapters, if at all. And any ideas you have are always welcome…Thanks!
child-of-scorpio: I'm glad you feel happy. Yeah, Sirius really likes to make fun of James, but it's all in good fun…until someone gets hurt. (Lol; my brother and I say that all the time.) You think my story's "bloody brilliant" and true to canon? Aww…I feel so special now. Thanks!
SoulAvenger: Yeah, James has finally realized how much he likes Lily…I'm glad you like it; thanks!
Hogwarts-Drama-Queen: Again, the flying carrots thing was a random idea I came up with as I was writing, and, thinking about it, that's just the kind of thing you'd like, isn't it? Lol. I'm glad your friend liked it. HAPPY EVERYTHING, too!
J.E.A.R.K. Potter (Erin): Thanks!
dahae: Aww…I feel so special. And as to my spelling…I can't stand improper grammar/incorrect spelling. Lol. Thanks!
Loraliant Angelisa Snape: Yeah, Coke is always good…Mmm…caffeine. I left you a review regarding your question…if you didn't get it, let me know. Thanks!
Monica: Your reviews aren't boring; in fact, they're the best I've received! *Applause* Yeah…the whole "I feel this…" that goes on for an eternity bugs me…characters are so much better developed through actions & dialogue; I'm glad you agree with me there. As to the specific points you liked, yeah…I laughed at the Marlene thing when I was reading over it again, and everyone loves a hyper Sirius! The conflict because of rivalry in subjects was a random thing, but I'm glad you like it! Yeah, the "Why do I care?" line is my favorite of all the ones I've written in this story. Oh goody, a patient reviewer! Lol. Thanks so much!
Snidgetglass: Glad you like it; thanks!
munkylover256: Thanks!
fizban hat: Sorry, but I love Sirius too much to let other people borrow him. He's MINE! (Sorry, the chocolate's going to my brain…I'll calm down now.) It's okay about the e-mail; I know the feeling. Yes, the Fat Lady is cruel…Good luck with your studying! Thanks!
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A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and keep reviewing! You make me feel so special…Don't forget to tell me what you think! Also, don't expect Chapter 5 anytime soon…I have so much work to do…
~Eos