Chapter 3
The next several hours were a time of clean-up for the X-men. They cleared away the corpses of FOH guards who had been killed in battle. They checked and double checked that the survivors would not be able to escape from the large cell they'd been thrown into.
Colossus and Iceman were assigned to temporarily man the bridge. They used the ship's computer interface to learn as much as they could about the nuts and bolts of running the ship. Fortunately, it was on auto-pilot to its destination and the computer was extremely user-friendly. After not long, Colossus and Iceman understood that they were in no immediate danger of crashing, losing life support, running out of fuel, or any other such catastrophes. They established monitors of the surviving FOH members' cell, to ensure that they would be watched at all times.
Professor X read the minds of several of the surviving FOH soldiers to discover that FOH had no other ships in this area. Colossus and Iceman learned that the ship they were on was equipped with a cloaking devise that would render them invisible to radar—even to the sensors of other FOH ships. They turned the cloaking device on for their protection.
Colossus and Iceman later reported that their ship was circling a planet's atmosphere. The Professor agreed that until things were more under control on the ship, it was probably best to remain circling the atmosphere until the group could get together and decide what to do next.
The X-men were all hungry for decent food, and soon located the cafeteria. For the first time in days, they ate decent, healthy food and lots of it. Clean clothing (non FOH uniforms) were found in the crew members' quarters.
Jubilee was immediately taken to the ship's sick bay. The FOH crew had one doctor left alive. Professor X used his telepathy to absorb the doctor's knowledge, and it turned out that the doctor had had some experience with gynecology. His knowledge on the matter was better than Beast's, and using the sophisticated technology in the infirmary, it was made possible to attend to Jubilee's wounds. She had lost a lot of blood, however. After checking with the rest of the team, it was found that both Wolverine and Gambit had the same blood type as her, so they both donated. She was expected to pull through, though Beast wasn't sure what the long term effects of her injuries might be.
Jubilee's emotional state was unchanged, however, and the prognosis on that end was not as positive.
Storm, Rogue and Jean also went to the infirmary. Their bodies were nearly as wounded as Jubilee, with numerous scratches and bruises, as well as the obvious physical trauma from surviving numerous rapes. Rogue was in constant pain from the two teeth that had been ripped out. Beast tirelessly attended to their wounds, with Cyclops and Gambit helping when needed. He also searched the computer database and learned how to conduct tests for sexually transmitted diseases.
Soon, Storm, Rogue and Jean were well enough physically that they did not need continuous medical attention. Jubilee, however, remained in sick bay with her more serious injuries.
Once their emergencies were taken care of, the group could re-organize and make some decisions. Everyone, however, was physically exhausted - sleep needed to be attended to first. Professor X arranged a schedule so that they slept in shifts. One person always observed the FOH members' prison cell, and another was to remain in the infirmary with Jubilee at all times (Storm, Rogue and Jean were exempted from guard duty since their need for rest was more dire). Video monitors were set up so that sick bay and the bridge were in constant visual contact.
Gambit was as physically exhausted as the rest of the X-men, and he was not assigned to guard duty for another six hours. Six full hours of rest! As tired as his body was, he wanted to be with the woman he loved.
Rogue was already striding towards the room she had been assigned to. (Iceman had located, via the computer, several sleeping rooms. Better yet, these were rooms that had not been used by any of the actual crew members on the ship. Each X-man received a designated room to use as their own.)
"Rogue, chere," Gambit called. Rogue didn't turn around and kept walking, but Gambit caught up to her and matched her stride. He said quietly and seriously, "Do you want Gambit to comfort you? I would be-"
"Shut up!" she yelled at him and walked faster.
"Wait, love, I didn't mean…..I didn't mean have sex. Gambit jus wants to be dere for you and help -"
"I said shut the fuck up and leave me alone!" she yelled, turning a few heads of their fellow X-men who were heading towards their quarters. Gambit looked at the anger and pain in his love's eyes, the mouth that was missing two teeth, and felt frightened.
"Okay," he said. Rogue strode off.
Meanwhile, Jean lay on the bed of the room she was assigned to. Scott knelt on the floor next to her, holding her hand. He hadn't seen such pain and exhaustion on her face since the Phoenix saga.
"Oh, Scott," she murmured. "It is so good that you are here."
"Jean, I love you," he said softly. "What can I do? Can I bring you anything?"
"Just hold me. Come into the bed and just hold me."
Scott did as told. Slowly he got into place, laying next to her, his arms encircling her form. "I'm so tired, my love," Jean whispered. "I need to try to sleep. I don't want to talk now. But please stay with me."
"Yes, my love," he said. He gently kissed her as she shut her eyes. Beast had offered all the team mild sedatives to calm their minds and allow them to get desperately needed rest. Jean was one who took advantage of the medication and her brain was already slowing down as she drifted off into a deep sleep.
So many fears ran through Scott's brain. Would she ever be the same? Would she recover? What could he do to help? Scott glanced at his watch. Three hours, 46 minutes until it would be his shift for guard duty. He racked his brain, trying to think of a way to beg or bribe another X-man into taking his shift.
I sat next to Jubilee in sick bay, holding her hand, astounded at the events of the past few hours. My mind was whirling and I was fatigued, but I was an X-man. I could do it. I had a few hours till Wolverine would relieve me of my duty shift, but I could do it. Drinking loads of coffee helped too.
We were free at last. The surviving FOH members were locked up and wouldn't be a threat. We survived the horrific last few days, even when I had nearly given up.
And I had saved the day! Professor X, Cyclops, Wolverine, Gambit, Hank…..all of the guys had congratulated and thanked me at one time or another during the whirlwind last few hours. Because it was so hectic, no one had time to ask me how I broke free, but I saved the day nonetheless. I was walking on air.
Except I knew the team was seriously damaged. What Hank had once tried to discuss with us-rape being a way during war to not only degrade women but to basically demoralize one side-had succeeded for FOH. We were going to have to think of ways to deal with this. For once I was actually thinking about solutions and not just assuming that the Professor or Storm or Cyclops would come up with the answer.
Periodically I murmured something to Jubilee and I continued stroking her hands but I may as well have been talking to a statue. I choked back a feeling of utter hatred for FOH. At the same time, I didn't want to think too far in the future about Jubilee's condition. I just had to shut it out of my mind and hope that someday we got our Jubilee back.
The intercom beeped. It was Gambit, signaling me from the bridge. The video hook up allowed us to look at each other.
"Hi Gambit," I said. "Everything ok?"
"Everything fine. Everything boring as all hell. Gambit's been staring at consoles and monitors for the past few hours and going out of his mind with boredom."
"I understand."
"Listen….how's the kid?" People still seemed to think of Jubilee as a kid, even though she'd been with the group for a number of years and was now nearly 20 years old.
"No change, Gambit. No change."
"I hate those FOH bastards."
"Me too," I agreed. "I've never felt such hatred before." Looking at Gambit's face through the monitor, it was clear that he was really distressed. Well, we were all upset due to the events of the last few days, of course. But he really looked bad. "So….how are you doing?" I asked.
"Bobby, you know anything about women?"
Oh, right. Gambit, the suave good-looking straight man who undoubtedly has been around the block a number of times is asking the shy gay guy about women? But I knew he wasn't about to ask for tips on picking up girls (like he needed any.)
"Um….well yeah, as friends you know. I've always had a lot of women friends, if that's what you mean."
"Good. Gambit doesn't understand," he muttered.
"What happened?"
"It go like this. I see my girlfriend go off to her room. Gambit offer to comfort her but she tell me to go fuck off." His tone conveyed how dejected he was.
"What exactly happened? I mean, do you remember what all you said?"
"Yeah," Gambit went on to relay the conversation to me. He then added, "But I didn't mean at all that Gambit want to have sex with her now. I know enough not to bring dat up. Gambit wanted to offer to hug her and listen to her if she wanted to talk."
"I know you meant well, Gambit. But you gotta see it from her perspective. She's just lived through what have got to have been the worst 4 days – or however many it was – of her life. She is physically and mentally exhausted, she feels outraged and angry, and she feels dirty and disgusting. Try to think of a time you've felt that way. I mean, everyone might react differently to this but I think it's perfectly normal for someone to want to be alone."
Gambit sighed. "You make good sense, Bobby. But Gambit loves Rogue. He wants her to be happy and he doesn't how to do dat or even if she can be happy again ever."
"Rogue is strong as nails. She'll recover, sooner or later. I think, Gambit, you gotta just go with the flow and go with whatever she feels. She has to go at her own pace."
"I know dis. But what can I do to let her know?"
"Well, how about like next time you see her, you can tell her you care about her and ask her if there's anything you can do to make her feel better? And if she tells you to fuck off again, don't be upset. You might even want to expect that. And I think you had just better expect that it will take a while for things to get….normal between you two again. It may never be quite the way it was before but….but if you love each other, it will work out."
"You darn smart man, Bobby. Maybe you outta start a column giving advise to men about women."
"Sure!" I said. "`The Gay Guy's Guide to Women- for Straight Men'!"
"That's a little long, chere. What about 'Ask the Gay Guy'?
He and I both laughed uproariously. We hadn't done a lot of laughing in the last few days and this felt good, so we laughed our butts off even though it wasn't that funny. : )
Hours later, Wolverine came to take over my shift.
"How's the kid?" he asked. This is indeed the most popular question of the day.
"She hasn't changed," I said, shaking my head. "I've just been holding her hand and talking to her about anything."
Wolverine nodded. He turned his head from me and started sniffing around. I panicked for a second until I remembered that I had showered and used deodorant. "Are you looking for something?" I asked.
"Just wanted to see if Beast has been in here." Hank had offered to all the women that if they needed him for something medical, they could wake him up and he would meet them in sick bay.
"No, no one's come in to ask for him." I wondered why he would care whether Hank had been in here or not. After I while I thought maybe he was thinking about Jean and wondering if I'd seen her. I supposed if Jean herself had been in here he wouldn't be able to pick up her scent as easily since she probably didn't smell like herself anymore.
Wolverine had the same look to him that Gambit had - frustration and not knowing what to do. Strangely enough, I picked up from his body language that he didn't want me to leave right away.
"So, how are you, Wolverine?" I asked. Looking at him in the eyes no longer shot a twinge of fear through me.
"Terrible, like everyone else," he muttered.
"Well, at least we're not going to die and we've got control of the ship," my voice sounded strangely perky.
"Who appointed you Little Miss Sunshine?" His tone was not angry, and we both smiled at that.
"Wolverine, is there anything I can do to help you feel less terrible? Do you need someone to talk to?" Where were these words coming from? Maybe I was emboldened by my conversation with Gambit.
"Thanks, Bobby but I don't feel much like talking now. But maybe later, ok?"
I sensed he really did want to talk then, but that was really cool that he seriously said we could talk later. I took my leave of him and went to my room to sleep. I took the sedative Hank had offered and as soon as I hit the pillow, I immediately lost consciousness and didn't wake until the alarm I'd set woke me.
We decided to hold our meeting in the infirmary. It made the most sense, since Hank advised us (after reminding us that he was not a psychologist) that Jubilee still should not be left alone. Monitors were rigged so we could keep an eye on the FOH guards' cell.
The team slowly filed into the room, sitting on chairs that we arranged in a circle. Everyone looked a bit strange, dressed in sweat pants, khakis, plain T-shirts, sweatshirts, and the other sort of gray and white clothes we'd found on the drawers of our rooms. As long as they weren't FOH uniforms, though, who cares? With Jubilee unconscious, it was just the Professor, Storm, Hank, Rogue, Gambit, Colossus, Wolverine and myself. Two team members were conspicuously absent.
"Cyclops and Jean will not be joining us," the Professor said. "Jean is feeling unwell and Cyclops elected to stay with her in their room. He is listening to us, though, via his communicator. After the meeting I'll get his feedback on what he thought, but he said we could go ahead and make decisions as needed."
I glanced at Wolverine and saw a look on his face. I didn't need to be a telepath to read it….he was upset that Jean was feeling so bad and he wanted more than anything to be the one to comfort her.
"We have a lot of things to talk about," the Professor said. "We might as well toss them out one by one. Colossus, would you update us on the status of the ship since you have been doing such a great job with learning ship functions?"
The burly Russian smiled. "The bottom line is that we in no danger now. We are using ship's cloaking device, which make us completely invisible to other ships-even to other FOH ships. So even if there was any ships in the area, they could not detect us.
"We have a lot of life support, food, and fuel. This ship is built with long term mission in mind. If the ship's computer is right-and I have no reason to think it is not-we have enough essential supplies to last two years."
Looks of surprise were exchanged. Two years!
"Thank you, Colossus. That is good to hear," the Professor said.
"Gambit has a question," Gambit said. "Bobby, you never tell us how you got free. How did you get dat collar off?"
"Wait a minute," Storm said. "I need you to explain even more. I have no idea what happened or how any of you got free. One minute we were trapped in our room, the next minute an alarm went off, the guards all ran out and later you guys broke down the door. After the frenzy of the battle and everything else, I was so exhausted I went to my room and fell asleep. But I would like to hear the whole story."
All eyes turned to me. Great. I fought back my feelings of nervousness and reminded myself I had nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, I saved the day. "Well, you see, here's what happened," I said, looking at Storm. Rogue, too, looked interested. "Um, well, these guards came in to the cell that all of us guys were in. Along with the guy who was their leader, I guess."
"The blonde guy with the mustache," Storm said, nodding. Clearly she knew who he was. He had been killed, by the way, in the battle. Rogue had seen to it that he met a most fitting end.
"Yeah, well so they came into our cell," I continued. "And, um, he was all upset, like he said he read our files and he, um, found out that I was, you know, gay and all. And he really didn't like that, so he-uh, the guards um….took me out of there. So they took me into this room, and then the leader guy got like called out of the room. So the two guards they, um, they took my collar off me." Clearly I would never be a bard.
"They just *took* your collar off?" Wolverine asked.
"Yeah."
"Why would they do that?" Colossus asked. "Did you ask them to?"
"No, I didn't. I think that they just weren't thinking. They wanted to put something else around my neck," (no matter how much anyone probed, I was *not* going to mention the dog collar!), "and to do that, they needed to remove my collar. They didn't understand what it would mean. Lapse in their judgement I guess."
"That is amazing," Storm said, looking pensive. "I tried so many times to get the soldiers to take my collar off…." Her voice trailed off. She looked weary and dejected but she also looked basically alright. Someone glancing at her would not know that she had just survived days of horrific torture and I wondered how she did it. Then I remembered that even in the X-men's early years she was clear that she kept her emotions in check, and that when she didn't do so, her powers went berserk. I think that's what happened during our battle with the FOH and why she violently killed so many of them. She probably had been pushed to her limit and couldn't control her powers after that. Now that she had rested, she was back to her controlled self.
Of course who knew what really lay beneath the surface. Storm asked me to continue my story and I filled her in on what happened from there.
"Thank you, Bobby," the Professor said.
"Well," Storm said. "We've talked about how we got here. Now-where do we go from here?"
For a while, the room was silent.
Hank piped up. "Professor, I would like to study the collars. We need to learn how they work."
"Of course," Xavier said.
Rogue glanced at the young woman laying on the nearby bed. "How's Jubilee?"
"Mentally, I am not sure what to do," Hank said. " I know I risk boring you by repeating this once more, but I am not a psychologist." Hank turned towards the Professor. "Of course, now that we have our powers back, perhaps that is the route to take."
The Professor nodded. "Before I took my rest break, I scanned her mind. It is as if her consciousness is locked inside a safe. If need be, I can erase her memories and open up that safe. I prefer do this only as a last resort, though. I think it is preferable for her to recover herself if she can."
The Professor and Hank exchanged a look. "Perhaps," Hank said, "we can allow her a few more days to recover herself. If she does not show signs of improvement, then your services would be useful."
The Professor nodded, "Plus, I sensed that we are doing no harm by waiting. It is not as if her mind is going further into that metaphorical safe. It is staying where it's at, we just cannot reach it now."
There was silence for a few moments. The thought of what she must have endured to get to that state mentally….I glanced at Rogue. The look in her eyes was not that of the Rogue I had known before. I wondered how Jean was doing, but the fact that she wasn't here was not a good sign.
"What about physically?" Storm asked. "How is she?"
"She is recovering physically," Hank said. "She lost some blood but her blood supply is now adequate."
There was silence again for a few more moments. I wondered if the group was trying to avoid the most difficult question that was sure to arise-where do we go (literally) from here? Finally Hank asked another pressing question, one that was not likely to be any easier to resolve.
"What do we do with the surviving Friends of Humanity on board this ship?" Hank asked.
"What are the numbers?" the Professor asked.
Colossus had used the ship's internal sensors to get a count. "Computer tells us that 87 guards were killed in battle with us. There are 141 imprisoned," he added, as he glanced at the monitor.
"That's 141 too many," Wolverine growled.
"What do we do with them?" I asked.
Rogue regained a glint in her eyes and spoke for the first time at the meeting. "There's no question of what to do to those bastards. I regret that I didn't get to kill all of them during battle but that can be taken care of."
Storm spoke up. "Vengeance is our right. They have forfeited their right to live and it is our duty to see that they never do to any other women what they did to us."
I looked around at the faces sitting in the circle. This was not going to be an easy meeting.
Hank spoke first, taking a deep breath. "I understand and sympathize with your anger. But it is wrong to take human life except in self defense. Now that we have them imprisoned, killing them cannot be justified."
Rogue stood up and yelled at Hank. "You weren't the one in there getting raped!" She hesitated as if she was going to say more but I think she got choked up and too furious to go on.
"Rogue and Storm are right," Wolverine said. "Killing them * would* be an act of self defense. As long as they have those damn collars and their stun weapon which immobilized all of us at the mansion, they are a threat. We don't know what other weapons they have. They could escape. If we don't want to get captured again or killed, we have to get rid of them."
Colossus spoke up. "I don't think that FOH can escape now. Their cell has nothing in it that could be used as weapon, and forcefield in there is impenetrable." He sighed. "But despite that, I agree with you three. `An eye for an eye.' Remember, how many mutants they kill back at the mansion during battle? They kill all Morlocks, they kill Shadowcat, Nightcrawler, Thunderbird, many more. And before that, they kill Magneto….They have enough blood on their hands."
The room was silent. The Professor said, "Bobby, what do you think?"
"I have to agree with Colossus and the others," I said. "Friends of Humanity kidnapped, raped and murdered. Those are all offenses that are punishable by death. They initiated this, they are the ones who chose to wage war on us."
"And if they had succeeded in doing what they intended to do," Wolverine said, "we wouldn't be sitting here talking about this!"
"What about you, Gambit?" the Professor asked.
"Dose bastards deserve to die," Gambit said. "Shit, just look at Jubilee over dere! Look what they did to her! Dis reason enough."
The Professor took a breath and then spoke. For once he seemed to be groping for words. "Each of us has had our say. Let us wait until our next meeting and discuss this further. We need Scott and Jean's thoughts too."
Rogue's eyes narrowed. "Why are we waiting? I want my revenge now!"
"Revenge is a dish best served cold," Hank said. "There is no harm in waiting, at least a little before making such a monumental decision." He paused. "And I do have one more thought to add. If we do kill the remaining FOH members on this ship, we cannot return to earth. We will not be able to convince a jury it was in self-defense and it is unlikely that they will see we were justified in doing so-despite the horrible things they did to us and the number of mutants FOH previously killed. I agree with the Professor that we need to at least sleep on what we said and turn it over in our heads more. This is a huge decision."
Others around the circle nodded and expressed agreement with the idea of waiting. Rogue shot hateful glances to Hank.
There was silence again for many moments before Storm broke it. She looked thoughtful. "Beast, what you just said," she began, "I don't think we can return to earth anyway, can we? We already killed 87 FOH members. People back on earth fear and despise us more now than ever. Even if we had our battles on videotape….even if we had videotapes of FOH killing the other X-men at the mansion and of what they did to us on board this ship….no jury is going to believe that was self-defense. If we do return to earth, we will be imprisoned or executed. Or we will have to spend the rest of our lives on the run, evading the authorities."
Storm's words echoed in the room. She was right. How could we ever return to earth?
We discussed a few other things at the meeting. The Professor planned to read the surviving FOH members' minds to gain as much information as he could about their plans and activities of other FOH ships.
"What about the course that our ship is on currently?" Storm asked. "We are circling a planet right now. This is the planet they intended to take us to, right?"
"We think so," the Professor said. "The ship was on autopilot to this planet. As soon as we took over the bridge, we scanned the planet for life forms in the hopes that we might find members of Alpha Flight or other mutants they brought here. Unfortunately, there is no human life on the planet below us."
"I wonder what they planned to do to us," Wolverine mused. "They told us they had a particularly gruesome manner of death in store for us on the planet."
"This is something we'll need to decide," Hank said. "Do we explore the planet at some point? Or should we continue circling the planet? Of course eventually we'll need to decide whether or not we return to earth, and if not, where do we go?"
I looked at the weary faces sitting around the circle. No one looked as if they wanted to tackle those questions today. The group decided that for now we would remain having the ship cloaked, circling the planet. We resolved to meet either in 24 or 48 hours, depending on whether Jean would be up to joining us.
"Is there anything else we need to discuss today?" the Professor asked. He looked directly at me with a questioning look in his eyes. Oh, of course. He's a telepath and he knew I had an idea. I made a small motion of shaking my head since I didn't want to bring it up then. The meeting was concluded.
As the group slowly disbursed, the Professor approached me. "Bobby, I sensed you had something else to say," he told me, when we were out of earshot of those still lingering in sick bay. "I generally try to avoid entering people's minds but you felt this strongly. I didn't call on you, though, so as to protect your privacy."
"I appreciate that," I said. "Um, I do have something on my mind but as I thought of it, I thought maybe it was too early to bring it up to the group."
"Do you wish to share it with me?"
I shrugged, "Sure. I was just thinking….sooner or later we are going to need to address what happened here and how it's effecting us psychologically. How it's going to effect the team and our dynamics. I mean, we were captured and….some of us were tortured. I think we can't just let it go."
The Professor nodded. "I wholeheartedly agree. And I also concur that it is too early to bring this up with the team yet." He glanced at Hank who was tending to Jubilee. "I am not sure how to go about addressing this. Please, think of ideas and I will do the same."
I nodded, trying to conceal my happiness that he had liked my idea and seemed to value my opinion. After the Professor left the room, I mused that I needn't have bothered to try to hide my feelings of joy since undoubtedly he could've read them.
The group headed down the hallway following the meeting when Wolverine got an idea. "Hey, gang," he said. "I found out that this place has a gym. Who's up for basketball?"
Colossus visibly brightened at Wolverine's words. "Great idea! I love to play basketball."
"Count me in," Gambit answered. Immediately after the meeting he had turned towards Rogue but her eyes told him to stay away. He was desperate for something to do and he enjoyed the game as much as Colossus did.
Rogue considered the idea. "I'm in," she said, relishing the idea of getting rid of some of her pent-up anger.
Storm shook her head and Wolverine's questioning glance. "No thank you, " she said. She wanted to head back to her room and do some meditation. She intended to raid the ship's storage area in the hopes of locating a candle.
Wolverine looked back at the infirmary. Bobby, Beast and the Professor were still in there. He didn't think any of them would want to join them but knew it was best to extend the invitation.
"Thank you, Wolverine, but I wish to stay with Jubilee and begin studying the collars," Hank said. "Some other time."
"No thanks," Bobby answered. Sports such as basketball brought up nightmarish memories for him of his high school days.
The game did wonders for Rogue. She played like a madwoman and it felt great. Although she was teamed with Gambit for this game, her communications with him that afternoon were strictly confined to the basketball court. Most X-men enjoyed sports, and Rogue knew that none of the guys would ever think of treating her differently during sports because she was a woman. Wolverine and Colossus were formidable adversaries but she and Gambit also made a strong team. The game forced her-and the others-to focus all their attention on what they were doing and temporarily forget the horrors they had survived.
After the exhausting game, Rogue immediately returned to her room to shower. Gambit had started after her, but the look she gave stopped him cold. She didn't want to think of Gambit right now or of any feelings he might stir in her.
The infirmary had become the center of activities for the X-men due to their need to keep someone with Jubilee at all times. As long as they had no immediate plans to deviate from the ship's course, they could monitor ship functions from there.
The team members each continued to rotate shifts but now only one person was needed for "guard duty" at a time. Whoever was on duty at a given moment was assigned to keep an eye on the monitor of the cell that held the surviving FOH members, monitor the bridge functions (which generally involved staring at a few consoles that never changed), as well as periodically talk to Jubilee. No change occurred on any of these three fronts. Jubilee didn't move or react, and the FOH members were restless but confined in their cell.
Beast volunteered for the unpleasant task of periodically bringing food and water to the prisoners. He expected them to begin their usual taunting and spewing of hateful words but most of the FOH members were quiet. They trembled in terror, sensing quite correctly that their lives were in danger.
Meanwhile, Jean was spending the day alternating between taking naps and taking baths. She was exhausted after the ordeal of the last few days. And no matter how much she bathed, she never felt really clean. Cyclops was warmed that Jean wanted him with her, and that was where he spent his time. Jean didn't talk much but they periodically touched and she told him she appreciated that he stayed with her. Cyclops felt a twinge of guilt-he now owed his team members since they were taking over his guard duty shifts for him. As co-leader of the X-men, part of him knew he should be there for his shifts. But he also knew his number one priority was to stay with Jean as she needed him now. Besides, his friends assured him that guard duty wasn't all that difficult anyway and Beast was spending most of his time in the infirmary as it was.
By the end of the day, Jean was feeling better and wanted to get up and explore the ship. She and Cyclops got up and first decided to pay a visit to Jubilee in sick bay.
"The poor girl," Jean said quietly as she reached for Jubilee's hand. Scott had his arm around his wife's shoulders.
Bobby, who was on guard duty at the time, nodded. "We always have someone in here with her, to talk to her and hold her hand. But she hasn't done anything to indicate that she can hear us."
"The Professor and I can reach her if we need to. We can draw her out," Jean said. She looked at Jubilee, laying on the bed with her eyes still eerily open but her facial expression frozen. Jean knew she did not want to begin probing the girl's mind or deal with the abominations in there. She had lived through it all too and was trying to not dwell on it. Looking at Jubilee brought all these hurtful feelings to the surface.
"I know. It was talked about at the meeting. The Professor thinks we should give her some time and hope she might recover on her own," Bobby said.
Jean nodded, still looking at Jubilee.
The door to the infirmary opened and Wolverine entered. "Hey, you're early for your shift!" Bobby said to the Canadian.
He might as well have spoken to the wall since Wolverine's attention was on the woman standing in the room. Jean and Cyclops both turned their heads when Wolverine approached them.
"Hi, Wolverine," Scott said.
"Hi Cyke." Wolverine said and turned to Jean, looking at her face. Her eyes were far away but he was heartened that she looked serene. "Hi Jean," he said softly. Her body language told him it was acceptable for him to approach, so he did. "Jean, I just wanna say that I feel terrible about what happened to you and if there is anything I can ever do to help you….please let me know."
Jean did not need her powers; Wolverine's eyes and tone spoke of his sincerity. She reached for one of his hands and held it for a moment. "Thank you," she said looking deep into his eyes. They held each other's gaze for a bit.
Bobby felt a bit awkward to be observing this exchange, but the others in the room seemed to have forgotten that he was there. He did glance up and see that Cyclops didn't look jealous or upset at the interchange that had taken place between his wife and Wolverine. Of course it was often hard to read what was behind those dark glasses.
The Professor and Beast made their way to the FOH members' cell. The members of the anti-mutant group were quiet as always when Beast placed food and water through their airlock. They were too proud to beg that their lives be saved and smart enough to know that hurling insults at the mutants was not a good idea.
The Professor accompanied Beast because he needed some answers. When the supplies had been sent through the force field, the two men exchanged a look and nodded. The Professor seized control of one of the soldier's minds. He compelled the man to walk through the airlock as the rest of the soldiers were mentally held back from rushing the airlock. The man quietly sat next to the Professor, and Xavier began probing the man's mind.
Xavier did what he could to brace himself as he knew none of this would be pleasant. Images of the tragic battle that night shot through the Professor's mind via the soldier's memory. The mansion was burned to the ground. Corpses of Morlocks and X-men littered the grounds. Three soldiers laughed as they hacked Callisto's body to pieces. Another Morlock had a collar around his neck and was held by two soldiers as a third one beat him senseless. The leader admonished the soldiers to knock it off and help pummel the mansion.
So the Institute and mansion were both gone. Charles closed his eyes for a second. He pretty much already knew this but the images from this soldier's memory were so clear. He probed the man's mind to go back further in time. Xavier knew this wasn't wise but he had to see what became of his friend. He had to know how Magneto died.
He saw Magneto with a collar around his neck being beaten and whipped mercilessly by FOH soldiers. They were particularly brutal towards Magneto knowing he hated non-mutants almost as much as they hated his kind. Xavier's old friend and his surviving henchmen, were taken to the planet that the ship now circled. The planet's surface contained a large pit full of acid. Magneto, Mystique, Sabertooth and the others were dropped one by one into the pit. They screamed in agony as their bodies were slowly, slowly eaten away by the acid. Death by this method took at least ten minutes but to the victims it seemed an eternity. The pain was so excruciating that Xavier himself felt a jolt of it.
When the Professor broke the mind link with the soldier, Beast knew his teacher was visibly shaken. They made their way back to the infirmary together.
The X-men had dinner together that evening in the infirmary. The entire team was there that night except for Storm who was fasting and meditating in her room. The group relished eating a full meal. The ship's mess hall had a full service food replicator which was able to whip up complete, nutritious meals in no time. Following the junk they had subsisted on for the past several days, this food was delicious.
"Professor," Colossus began, "Did you get information from soldiers?"
"I did," the Professor began softly, unsure of how much to divulge. "I am afraid that none of it was good."
The team members glanced at each other. None were surprised but each considered how much more bad news they wanted to listen to now.
Wolverine took a peek at Jean. She sat next to Cyclops, eating very little. Her eyes still were distant and tired, but it had to be a good sign that she was there and eating something. She and Cyclops sat so close to each other that they were almost on top of each other and they periodically stopped the little eating they were doing to hold hands. Wolverine brushed off, as he had so many times in the past, the bitter sting of jealousy. The outrage he felt towards the FOH for what they did to Jean and the others was the predominant feeling in his body though, and it took every once of self-control to keep him from going to their cell and ripping each FOH member to pieces.
Rogue, meanwhile, ate her meal as if there were no tomorrow. She was already on seconds and nearing thirds when her teammates were still on their firsts. She felt the same as Wolverine. Periodically she entertained the idea that if the question of the FOH members' fate was not decided soon, she would decide it for the team.
Beast spoke, "Would you share with us, Professor, what you learned?"
The Professor nodded. "The FOH destroyed the mansion. It and the Institute are gone."
This clearly didn't surprise any of the X-men but still the looks on their faces were pained.
"Our home," Gambit said quietly and looked down. For a man who had taken years to really commit to truly being an X-man, the loss of the team's home was a huge blow.
Jean placed her head in her hands and closed her eyes. Scott placed an arm around her.
"I, too, was hurt when I found out what had been done," the Professor said. Cyclops mused that "hurt" had to have been an understatement. The man had poured his entire life into the Institute and mansion. "But I have been thinking about this for the last several hours. * We* are still alive. We are still the X-men, and there are more mutants being born every day. They cannot destroy us all. As much as this pains me, we will go on. We are a team and that's what's important. Despite everything that has happened, I give thanks that we are still sitting here together as a family."
Jean looked up. She went over to Xavier and hugged him. The entire team was similarly touched. Dinner was finished in relative silence but with gratitude for what they had survived.
When Rogue returned to her room after dinner that evening, there was a note under the door. "Can I do anything to help you? I love you. G." She glanced at the note and put it down.
Gotta give that man credit for trying, Rogue mused. Over the years she had pushed him away so many times yet he always persevered.
Her mind flashed back to the last time she had broken up with him, about a year and a half ago. She had ceased speaking to him without telling him why. Finally one day he had corned her. "Look, mister, I just don't wanna be your girlfriend anymore!" she had yelled at him.
"Would you at leas tell Gambit why?" he had asked.
He really had to push to get her to say anything. Finally she had exploded, "Go and get yourself a * real* woman instead, ok?"
Once she let that out, he wouldn't go away until she elaborated. Rogue had been crying by then, something she never did. "The way we have sex is the way most kids do it when they're in high school! Go and get yourself a real woman and so I don't have to be reminded that I'm…..I'm…." she had burst into tears then, though the word she was groping for was "freak" or something so akin.
"Come here, chere," Gambit had said, hugging her. She had wanted to throw him across the room but didn't because her body was starving for his touch. She let him hug her and drank in the warmth. Her heart sped up in that annoying way it always did when he was around. "Gambit loves you. And Gambit loves our sex life. He loves it very, very much. Gambit thought you did too, chere."
"I do," she admitted through tears. "You know that!"
"Den what's the problem?"
They had talked some more and Rogue promised to try to work through her feelings of inadequacy. Their relationship lived on. But this night, as Rogue prepared for bed she didn't want to be around him. She didn't want any man to touch her.
Rogue shut off the light and stepped into bed. In the past, Rogue was always so tired by nighttime that sleep had come the instant she hit the pillow. Those blissful nights of effortless sleep might be behind her now, though. As soon as her eyes were closed, her treacherous mind replayed horrific images that she wished she could forget. Rogue was naked, her hands cuffed behind her back. She was forced to stand on a platform. Jubilee was standing next to her, similarly naked and handcuffed, crying her eyes out. Moments earlier all four of the women had been examined by one of the guards. Rogue's hymen had been a little worse for wear, but it was still there as the fingers and toys that she and Gambit inserted at times didn't break it.
One man, apparently the auctioneer, stood behind Jubilee, loudly proclaiming how young she was and that she was a virgin. Scores of FOH soldiers stood by the platform, many of them bidding on her. The guard fondled Jubilee's small breasts as she continued to wail. The bidding increased until one man won out. He roughly grabbed Jubilee by the arms and brought her to one of the beds in the large room. Rogue heard him slap her and yell at her to be quiet. She heard Jubilee beg him not to hurt her.
It was Rogue's turn next. The man conducting the auction spoke in his booming voice. "I know it's hard to believe, but this beautiful mutie is also a virgin! You can be her first! And look at these big titties, isn't she a prize? Bidding starts at-" the man wasn't expecting Rogue to hit him in the stomach with her handcuffed hands. He reached for a collar device and tortured her with waves of debilitating pain. She fell to the platform ground on her knees. The auctioneer kicked her. "And she's a feisty one! You can be the first man to tame her!"
Dozens of soldiers broke out in a bidding war, with bids going quite a bit higher than the price Jubilee had been bought for. The man who finally won, having just pledged two month's pay, smiled gleefully and led his prize away. Rogue was still in immense pain from the collar and could not protest as he dragged her away to a free bed. The shock of feeling skin against skin gave way to more pain as the man yanked her legs apart and forced his way inside her. Rogue felt as if she was being penetrated by a knife, she was so dry. She-
Enough! Rogue sat up in bed, trying to block these images out. Nothing would stop them. Her heart raced. Shit. She reached for her communicator and called up one of her teammate's rooms.
"Wolverine here," the voice answered. He didn't sound as if he'd been asleep.
"It's Rogue," she said.
"Rogue. Is something wrong?"
"Wolverine, you told me earlier today that if there was anything you could do to help, to let you know."
"Yes," he said eagerly. At last! Wolverine had felt so useless when so many of his friends were in such pain.
"Will you play basketball with me?"
"Whatever you want, darlin."
The two friends met in the hallway and walked to the gym. Most of their teammates were asleep, except for Colossus who was on guard duty. They checked in with him to tell him where they were going. He nodded and made them promise to include him next time they played when he wasn't on guard duty.
"Wolverine," Rogue said during a well-earned break. The friends had played an aggressive, exhilarating game. "If the group doesn't decide to do away with those FOH fuckers, I am going to do away with them myself."
"I'll help you, darlin. I need to sink my claws into some FOH shit."
"Alright, sugar!"
Meanwhile, Scott and Jean retired to their room after taking a walk around the ship. "There are so many things going through my mind now," Jean murmured. "I feel like I can't digest it all yet."
"I know what you mean," Scott said. "I think it is going to take some time for it to all sink in."
Jean began undressing for bed. "I can't believe that the mansion and the Institute are gone. But I also feel like I don't want to talk about these things now."
"I think maybe Storm has a good idea in meditating." Scott paused. "Jean, you know, if you ever want to talk about….what happened to you, I will listen."
"I'll let you know when I want to talk about it, my love," she said looking at his handsome face. She felt his love, his caring and knew he shared the pain she was experiencing. "I have been meaning to tell you all day that you are really wonderful. I don't think I could ask for a more supportive man. But I'm feeling just numb right now and I can't deal with it yet."
"I understand. I've been wishing all day I could do something more to help."
"You're doing exactly what I would've asked you to."
"I wish….I wish it had been me suffering instead of you."
Jean went over to his side of the bed and embraced Scott. They hugged for many long moments, savoring the warmth before Jean broke it off. "There is one thing that I suppose I don't need to say," she paused. "You know it might be a while before I'm ready to have sex again."
Scott nodded. "If you never wanted to again, I would still love you."
Jean smiled. "I don't think it will be 'never', Slim. And I knew you wouldn't pressure me but I thought I should say it anyway." She placed a soft, quick kiss on his lips. "I love you, Scott."
The couple climbed into bed and shut off the light.
The next morning, I was in the infirmary perched next to Jubilee, feeding her breakfast. The way she ate was so creepy. She still just stared straight ahead, not reacting to anything. When I took the spoon close enough to her lips and was insistent about putting it in, she opened her mouth wide enough to let the oatmeal in and mechanically swallowed.
The Professor entered the room and we greeted each other. He looked intently at Jubilee, his eyes sad.
I continued to feed Jubilee and soon Storm entered the infirmary.
"Good morning Professor, Bobby, " she greeted, nodding at each of us. That woman had such a regal and dignified manner at all times. Sometimes I felt I was I was in the presence of a queen (or the African goddess she had ounce been considered.)
We both returned her greeting and Storm turned towards the Professor. "Professor, I looked at the guard duty schedule and I noticed that I am not on it, nor is Jean or Rogue." As always, she sounded firm and assertive but not at all angry.
"Cyclops and I felt that after all you three endured, you should be exempt from guard duty, at least for the time being," the Professor said.
"I thank you for your concern but I am feeling better and am certainly up to the job of guard duty. If Rogue and Jean feel otherwise, that's their choice but I insist on serving guard duty like everyone else."
"Very well," the Professor said. "You know yourself best." He paused. "Storm, I only ask one thing of you."
"Anything for you."
"Most victims of torture take some time to recover from their ordeal. No one is invincible and I hope you will allow yourself-"
"Professor, I do appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I am fine."
With that last sentence, Storm sounded just a touch angry. I felt concerned for her, but I also reminded myself that she was tough and knew how to take care of herself. If her manner of dealing with her experience was to bury it for now, maybe that was for the best.
Jean Grey came into sick bay to check on Jubilee not long after Storm's exchange with the Professor. Jean and the Professor discussed Jubilee's condition, both unsure of exactly when it would be appropriate for them to intervene. Jean seemed to feel that it may almost be best to let her mind stay "on this vacation" for a while, while the Professor said his instincts indicated that they should intervene after not much longer.
I myself was getting just a little tired of people conducting conversations as if I weren't in the room. But I held back my angry impulse and reminded myself that I wouldn't have had a heck of a lot to contribute to either discussion. I decided to work on one thing I did well…..holding Jubilee's hand and talking to her. Since I was on duty for this shift, I periodically glanced at the monitors of the FOH members' cell and the controls that regulated ship functions. Everything was status quo, and I told Jubilee as much.
A strange thing happened as I spoke to her. I had to blink a few times but it seemed that her eyes shifted and focussed on me. I felt a surge of excitement and fought to suppress it. I did squeeze her hand with gentle pressure and continued talking on.
The Professor, who had left the room, returned and moved beside me. After observing for a few moments, he said softly, "Good work, Bobby. The fact that she's looking at you is a major step. Keep it up."
Hank later came in and was as excited over this change as I was. He commended me too, though I don't know what exactly it was I did.
I remained with Jubilee for most of the day. She didn't do anything other than clearly look at and focus on me, but both the Professor and Jean said that her mind was more aware, more focussed. All the other X-men came in at some point during the day to tell me what a great job I was doing and to talk to Jubilee themselves. I cannot say whether she really * heard* the words we were saying, but she definitely was reacting to our presence, even if the reaction was a small one.
You know, I gotta say that I would never have figured Wolverine for such a softie. Well, "softie" is the wrong word but when he heard that Jubilee was doing a little better, he headed straight for sick bay. He asked me if he could take over for a while, and he held her hand as he said a lot of encouraging things to her. Clearly he cared about her very much. I decided that Wolverine would be a wonderful person to have as a friend. It was stupid of me to have ever been afraid of him.
The group decided to meet that evening, during dinner to discuss a number of things. They sat at the table in the infirmary, with Jubilee's bed a few feet away from the group. I offered to remain away from the table so I could be in physical contact with Jubilee. I munched on my dinner while feeding Jubilee. She kept looking at me as I fed her, her eyes sometimes looking at the fork to see what it was she would be eating.
Meanwhile, I could hear the discussion of the other X-men well. Before the meeting started, the Professor encouraged me to contribute even though I wasn't sitting with the group. This time, everyone was present for the meeting; all 11 of us were in the room and everyone save Jubilee and I were seated around the table.
"I have news about FOH other ships," Colossus began. "Our sensors show they sending two starships this way to investigate what happen."
"Now there is no need for alarm," the Professor said. "Remember that they cannot detect us while we are cloaked. But still, I wonder if it might not be prudent to break orbit and head away from this parsac."
Cyclops spoke up," That makes sense to me. It couldn't hurt to get some distance between us and them. Especially since we know there aren't any mutants or anyone left alive on the planet below."
So it was agreed. Colossus got up and adjusted the ship's controls to take us out of orbit and away from the planet we were circling. We were heading farther from Earth now. I noticed that Colossus really seemed to enjoy working at the ship's controls. He had been the first to jump up from his seat for the honor of pressing a few buttons to alter our course.
Hank was the next to speak up. I knew what he was going to say as he'd told me in private earlier in the day. It wasn't pleasant news.
"I have been monitoring Earth's media from our computer," Hank said. This ship had some pretty fantastic equipment. "Our skirmish with the FOH back at the mansion has made the news. Unfortunately, it looks as if the details of the….encounter have been altered by someone very skilled in film splicing." Hank got up from the table, cued the VCR and showed us the news report. The report made it looked as if we had launched an attack (pretty amazing, considering that the battle took place * at* the mansion. So we launched an attack and a bunch of FOH-ers just * happened* to be there?) The newscaster said that "out of control mutants" killed 12 FOH members in this "aggressive and uncalled for attack." She went on to say that the mutant group had stolen one of the FOH starships. Several quotes from citizens were aired, with people saying once again that this is justification for doing all sorts of bad things to mutants.
We watched the report grimly. Several of our names were mentioned; our pictures shown. I knew what was going through everyone's heads. The prospect of returning to earth was looking dimmer and dimmer.
"There is more on this tape, pertaining to mutants," Hank said.
The tape continued on and the newscaster spoke again. "In a related story," she read, "the Mutant Sterilization Act continues to gain support in both the House and Senate. A floor vote is expected by next week, the bill should pass overwhelmingly, and the President has said he will sign."
The news footage cut to one of the Senators who co-sponsored the bill. "This bill will stem the mutant population explosion. It requires all male mutants under the age of 70 to undergo a vasectomy, and all female mutants under the age of 55 to undergo hysterectomy."
Everyone sitting around the table looked stunned. Several people's mouths dropped open. This was a brand new bill, and we had spent so much time training in the last few weeks at the mansion that even if the bill had been in the news then, we didn't hear anything about it. Now it looks like it's about to be signed into law.
The news footage quoted a few ordinary citizens saying they thought this was a great idea since there were so many mutants everywhere. One sympathetic person was quoted, a non-mutant college professor who expressed concern that this was reminiscent of Nazi Germany.
"This is an outrage," Storm said when the report was finished. "They cannot tell us how to live our lives and force us to undergo major, invasive surgery."
Jean's face was pale and she looked appalled. "Every day I hear of or experience more awful things being done to mutants and sometimes I think nothing can shock me ever again. But this does shock me. I want to have children some day. They have no right to deprive me-or any of us-from experiencing one of life's major joys. How can people be so inhumane that almost no one is questioning this?" She clearly was upset, and Scott reached for one of her hands and held it.
"It is also completely illogical," Hank said. "All of us were born of non-mutant parents."
"Besides," I added, "how many mutants do we know who even * have* children of their own? We're so busy trying to survive that not too many of us have reproduced."
People talked among themselves briefly, naming mutants they knew who had kids. Storm had an adoptive son who was now grown. We knew Magneto had had a daughter who was now deceased. And, of course, Mystique had given birth. That was about it though. So what was the point of sterilizing a population who's birth rate was almost zero? We all knew what the point was-to humiliate and hurt us.
Hank added that the bill also prohibits mutants from adopting children, and that many countries already had laws baring us from adopting.
"I think that one thing is clear from watching those news reports," Cyclops said. "We can't return to earth. At least we can't anytime in the near future."
Storm nodded. "We couldn't return anyway. We killed 87 FOH soldiers in our battles with them when we took over the ship. We would never be acquitted of their deaths. We're outlaws."
The Professor looked around the table. "It is agreed, then. We're not writing off the idea of ever returning but we cannot go back in the foreseeable future." He paused and let this sink in with everyone. I think we had all been mulling over this off and on the last couple days. I'm no telepath but I think everyone was basically ok with this. We were all saddened, of course, to various degrees but we knew we had no choice at this point. At least we were all together, with people we cared about.
Cyclops then spoke, "Since we will be on board this ship for a while, I would like everyone over the next few days to become familiar with basic ship functions."
"I would be glad to teach," Colossus said. Everyone knew he'd spent nearly all his waking hours mastering this very subject. Everyone nodded and looked appreciative towards Colossus.
"So this brings us to the next major decision," the Professor said. "What to do with the 141 FOH members who are still alive and on board this ship."
Storm spoke first, "I have been meditating on this question quite a bit since our last meeting. I feel even more conviction that what the majority of the group wanted to do was best." She paused a bit and looked around the table. "There are no easy answers….no matter what we decide to do, it will be difficult. At out last meeting, I said I wanted vengeance, but that is no longer my reason for wanting to execute the soldiers. I think that executing them would be fair and just because they have taken lives and committed atrocious crimes. And if they live, they will only continue what they did to us and harm more people."
The Professor looked around the table. "Has anyone who was at the last meeting changed their mind?"
No one spoke or nodded.
"Scott and Jean, I would like to know what each of you think," Storm asked.
Jean spoke first, quietly. "I don't feel safe while they are on this ship. If there is a way to get them off of this ship without killing them-and where they couldn't return and harm us-I would support it."
Beast spoke up, "I have an idea. What if we were to return to the planet we just left and drop off the soldiers there? We know FOH is sending another ship to investigate. They'll be able to pick up their life signs from the planet and rescue them."
The group was quiet for a moment until Jean said, "I don't feel comfortable with that. They could someday find us, even if our ship is cloaked, and come and imprison us just as they did before." Her voice radiated fear.
The Professor asked, "Cyclops, what do you think?"
"I agree with what Storm said. Something Bobby said at the last meeting also struck me. He said the FOH have kidnapped, raped and murdered. Those are all crimes punishable by death. We know that justice won't be served if these men are returned to earth. I think we are more than justified in executing them."
Wolverine spoke up. "Why are we sitting around debating this? Those bastards deserve to die. They deserve a painful death too."
"I agree," Rogue said. "We need to stop all this yabbering and give them what they got comin' to them."
"Taking human life is a profound question," the Professor said. "We need to give this serious consideration if we are to do so. Otherwise, we are no better than they."
"We also need to think of practical matters," Hank said. "If we decide to kill these people, how are we going to do so?"
"I will be more than happy to handle that," Rogue said. Her voice had such anger and….coldness in it that I was somewhat taken aback. I think the others were too.
There was silence for a minute before Hank spoke again, "What about taking the FOH survivors to an uninhabited planet and leaving them there? We will leave them without the means to get off the planet so therefore they can't harm anyone."
The group considered this. Cyclops said, "I'm not sure that justice would be served that way. They would all still be alive. Unless we set up some sort of prison cell on the planet, they would be roaming free."
"But there would be no life forms on the planet for them to harm," Hank argued. He then re-considered his own argument and did some thinking out loud, "But if the planet contains no life, how will their need for food and water be taken care of? They will soon perish and we can't give up our food rations on this ship. Maybe this isn't the best idea."
Jean added, "We could take your idea and leave them on a planet that does have life, but only non-humanoid life. But I don't like that idea either because such a planet could eventually, even if it's over millions of years, evolve as we did. And leaving those men there would disrupt their evolution."
"Execution is the only way," Wolverine said. "They deserve it, it's fair and just. We've all had time since our last meeting to think it over."
"I agree," Gambit said. "They deserve the death penalty. We let `em go, they just gonna go back to earth and torture other mutants like they do to us!"
"How many other mutants do we want to allow to end up like Jubilee?" Wolverine asked. I heard his words and looked down at my friend. Her eyes were closed now.
The discussion continued on for only a short while more. At one point, Hank spoke up and said, "I still have grave reservations about killing them. However, I see that the rest of you-with the exception of the Professor-are confident in your view that they must be executed." He paused. "Therefore, I am willing to change my vote. To preserve our unity, I will support your decision."
All eyes turned to the Professor. "I see I have no choice. I only urge you to think it over once more before you actually do this." He went on to say that he would not take part in the actual carrying out of the executions. He said he would trust Storm and Cyclops to oversee this.
The rest of our dinner was eaten in mostly silence. After dinner, Cyclops, Storm, Wolverine, Colossus, Rogue and Gambit went off to discuss how to get rid of the FOH members. I didn't want to be part of that discussion but I told them if they needed my help, I would do whatever they needed. Jean said basically the same thing.
That evening, Hank worked in the infirmary, doing more research on the collars. I chose to stay with Jubilee, who's condition hadn't changed. She was laying there with her eyes open, looking at me. I continued my encouraging chatter towards her but she did not respond with anything more than eye contact.
"Your friendship with Jubilee is helping her recover," Hank said.
I turned my head and looked at Hank, his huge form bent over a microscope. "I think it has more to do with the fact that there's always a presence with her. After all, I haven't been the only one talking to her."
"True, but I am sure the friendship bond you two established is helping."
"Um…Hank, speaking of friendship and all. Um, are we going to be ok with, you know the fact that we don't agree on what was discussed at dinner?"
"You're asking whether our friendship can withstand the disagreement?"
I nodded.
"I definitely think it can. We're both intelligent, good people. We each reviewed a set of facts and reached a different conclusion. It happens. I am alright with it. Are you?"
"Yes. I just wanted to make sure you were." I love Hank. He is so cool. I didn't really doubt him that much but I thought the question needed to be asked.
Later that evening, Gambit returned to sick bay. Hank was still working away at the lab, and I still sat next to Jubilee. I was growing tired. Gambit greeted us both and then made his way over to me.
"Gambit wants to talk to you," he said to me. His body language gestured that he wanted privacy. I exchanged a quick look with Hank before leaving the room.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Gambit's losing his mind. The woman he loves hates him now. I need help with Rogue."
"What happened?" I asked.
Gambit went on to relay the events of the last few hours that I had missed. Rogue and Wolverine had argued for a violent end for the remaining FOH soldiers. Cyclops, Storm and Colossus, however, had argued that although the FOH soldiers on this ship deserved to die, if we tortured them we would be stooping to their level. "Gambit not sure how he feels," Gambit told me. "But he want to support Rogue so he say he agree with her and Wolverine."
Gambit went on to say that their discussion had been pretty unproductive. Storm and Cyclops were leaders, so their standpoint under normal circumstances would prevail, but Rogue, Gambit and Wolverine argued their viewpoint so passionately. "So we decide to wait another day before we say how these bastards gonna die," Gambit said. "That piss off everyone because Cyke wants the bastards off the ship now so Jean can feel safe. And Rogue and Wolverine eager to start punishing the bastards now. We do a lot of yelling and screaming. Gambit never seen anything like this before at our meetings."
I listened intently. "I think everyone's still hurting. Maybe we-"
Gambit cut me off. "Gambit hurting. And Rogue, she is not gonna let me comfort her. And she," Gambit paused. It sounded to me like he was fighting off tears. "During the meeting when we get to arguing about whether to torture the bastards or not…..Rogue decide to talk about some of the things that were done to her. Gambit feel sick."
"What did she say?" Maybe it was wrong of me to ask, but I had to.
Gambit went on to relay some of what Rogue had said. Rogue had, in tears, told the group about being gang raped, being forced to perform oral sex, soldiers forcing various things inside of her, being raped at least 100 times in one day, soldiers removing her teeth and doing other things to torture her when she refused to cooperate. "Gambit not surprised by any of dis, but dis hurt to hear her talk about it. Gambit feel so sick and angry. And she did it all to keep dem from hurting me. It all my fault!"
"How is it your fault?" I asked. I sounded like my good old Dr. Winters, who's counseling the team, I think, could use now.
"You know what I mean. You remember when the head sonofabitch come in and brag that he was forcing Rogue by threatening to hurt me. She say this is true too. So after the meeting I follow her down the hall. I tell her that I wish she had just let dem torture me and how I wish it had all been me instead of her. She jus tell me to fuck off again and leave her alone. Nothing Gambit do works! She don't respond to my note. She don't want Gambit in her life no more."
Gambit paused and took a deep breath. I looked at his face. It was very evident that he really was anguished. Without thinking, I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. I didn't even stop to think and realize that I'd broken a cardinal rule: you never touch a straight guy. But I saw it more like a friend was upset and I wanted to comfort him. Whatever the case, he didn't step back or seem to mind. I spoke, "Gambit, remember what we talked about the other day? Rogue is really hurting. You have to be willing to accept that she might not want to be around you for a while."
"I know dat an I accept it. What bother Gambit is that * she* hurting. How do I make her feel all better?"
"Unless you have power over other people's minds, you can't do anything. All you can do is offer to be there and listen to her if she wants. But she's already made it clear that she wants her space now."
"But Bobby, you don't understand. Rogue say she need space. Rogue like to pretend that she invincible, nothing bother her. Gambit's been her lover now for four years. I know her personality. When she most need someone, she push dem away. Dat's the way her mind work."
I shrugged and spread my hands. "But, Gambit, what can you do? You can't force your way in her room and demand that she cry on your shoulder and allow you to comfort her." I paused. He and I exchanged a look and I think he digested what I said. "What about….can you run interference with someone Rogue is close to? I mean, you said what bothers you most is that she's hurting and you don't want to see her in pain. Then maybe you need to find someone that she is going to feel comfortable opening up to and hope that they can help her since she does not want your help now."
Gambit nodded. "Maybe Storm. They always close. She close to Wolverine, too but I don't see her goin to him `cept to play basketball with him."
This seemed to make him feel better and he seemed to brighten. We went back into sick bay and he checked on Jubilee. Before he left the room, he thanked me and gave me a look. I would say the look conveyed friendship and….respect, maybe. Despite everything that was happened, I felt pretty ok. If I'm going to be stranded in space, at least it's good to be stranded with people I like and have friendships with.
Cyclops walked down the hall, returning to the room he shared with Jean. The meeting that evening had been a long and fierce one. The question of how to dispose of the FOH members would not be easily resolved. Aside from that, Cyclops was very concerned about Rogue. She had had such an insane and wounded look when describing what the soldiers did to her. Beyond that, Cyclops was concerned about all the women on the team and, as well, the psyche of the entire group. But he had no idea how to go about repairing that, and he was too tired that evening to deal with it any more.
He reached the room and slowly the door slid aside. The team member who was his first concern lay sleeping on the bed, though she had left a light on for him. All the crew quarters looked the same-one bed barely large enough for two, a nightstand, a comfortable chair and then closet space which led to a small bathroom. For a ship who's crew did so much destruction and harm, the crew quarters were ironically cozy.
Cyclops undressed as quietly as he could, shut off the light, and slid under the covers beside Jean. Although she was asleep, Jean's mind picked up on his presence and she snuggled closer to Scott, embracing him.
He hoped she wouldn't pick up on his worry. Over the years, on occasion she would wake from her sleep when she sensed he was upset over something, and Scott desperately hoped she wouldn't do that tonight. He wanted her to rest and not worry about him-not after what she had lived through. Scott placed his arms around his wife, feeling intense gratitude that he was able to do this once again. After the ordeal when FOH held them captive, he had despaired of ever seeing or touching Jean again. Scott said a few silent prayers of thanks.
Sleep did not come easily for him that night. Rogue's words kept rattling around in his brain no matter how much he tried to shut them out. The horrors Rogue had described. Jean must have endured pretty much everything Rogue had, short of having any of her teeth torn out. His mind continued to race. Appalling images of Jean being attacked and humiliated kept forcing their way into his mind no matter how hard he tried to push them out. The images of Jean crying and in pain tore through Scott's heart. Maybe Rogue, Wolverine and Gambit were right and the FOH members deserved to be punished before their executions. How could those bastards do what they did? Didn't they have wives or girlfriends of their own? He tried to replace thoughts of Jean in pain with thoughts of Jean being happy and content, but the painful thoughts predominated. Scott tossed and turned several times.
"Are you alright?" Jean asked softly.
"Honey, I'm sorry I woke you up," Scott whispered. "Go back to sleep."
"Do you want me to massage your back?"
"No, my love. Please just go back to sleep. I'm fine," he said, though his voice almost cracked on that last sentence.
Jean took a few moments to absorb his thoughts. "I know you're hurting for me. It *was* a terrible ordeal," she said softly. "But I'm going to live through it. We'll live through it."
"I should be the one comforting you," Scott said. "You shouldn't have to comfort me."
"We can comfort each other. I was thinking good thoughts when I went to bed," Jean said. "Like how good it feels to be back with you and be able to hold you once again. Let's share those thoughts." She gently sent waves of that feeling through his mind and he calmed down. The warm emotions replaced the upsetting ones that had been floating around until the couple fell asleep together.
Meanwhile, Rogue's night was not as restful. Try as she would, she couldn't stay asleep for more than a few minutes before gruesome images invaded her mind. Storm had advised her earlier on in the day to meditate but Rogue did not have that tranquil, controlled personality and especially not now. Rogue adjusted her position on the bed and tried once more to get to sleep. The phrase `Think pleasant thoughts,' popped into her head. Rogue's mom had said that to her as a little girl when she hadn't been able to sleep. Of course that was years before her parents had thrown her out for being a mutant.
`Okay, Rogue, try harder,' she told herself. Pleasant thoughts? For her that usually meant Gambit-his eyes, his smile, his hair, his eagerness when he held her, the way his voice sounded when he told her he loved her, his laugh when they goofed off together. The wicked look in his eyes when they went off to do something out of the ordinary. Holding his hand as they went for long walks around the mansion property. Her brain liked this train of thought so it continued. Her thoughts drifted towards the feelings she had for him, how her stomach jumped when they kissed through satin cloth, how the sight of him undressed aroused her, how he would bring her to climax by-
Ugh. Those thoughts had to stop. Rogue didn't want to ever let any man touch her, at least not in a sexual way, at least not for a very long time. She was done with that. Gambit would just have to go find someone else, which maybe was for the better.
Rogue made numerous more attempts to sleep but she failed. The soldiers were back in her head, the things they did to her were back at the surface of her mind. Damn Gambit. Thinking of him had led to this. Damn him.
Rogue got off the bed and paced, getting angrier and angrier.
Gambit didn't jump when his communicator went off as he had not been asleep. "Go ahead," he spoke into the device.
"Gambit, it's Rogue," the raspy voice on the other end breathed.
Rogue! Maybe….maybe she wanted to talk to him. "Rogue. Chere. How can I help you?"
"Help me give the bastards what they got comin to them. Tonight."
Gambit's eyes widened. She was suggesting they disobey Cyclops and Storm and go inflict a fraction of the pain the soldiers had inflicted on them. It was a chance to get back in Rogue's good graces. Maybe doing this would help her heal. Maybe it was just what she needed.
"I'll help," he said.
"Good. Let's get Wolverine in on this too."
Later, Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit headed for the soldiers' prison cell. Wolverine had been on guard duty in the infirmary when Rogue contacted him. As he marched towards the soldiers that night, he felt a small rush from the prospect of disobeying Cyclops. But mostly he had the desire for revenge. Wolverine had visited the prison cell once the day before. Every goddamn soldier had Jean's scent on him. There wasn't a one out of the 141 who hadn't raped her at least once. Not a one. They all had Rogue's scent too, and most had Storm and Jubilee's. Just the thought sickened him and made him eager for revenge. A bunch of fucking monsters. And they call * mutants* sick and perverted? They deserved to suffer. Wolverine looked forward to using his claws that night.
TO BE CONTINUED