Chapter 8
The water was cool and crisp against Rogue's body but it felt amazingly good. The evening was warm, though not humid. A small lantern was placed in the grasses by the lake, providing a little bit of light for Rogue and Gambit as the sun continued to set. The collar sitting around Rogue's neck was slightly cool but no longer menacing in and of itself.
"Can Gambit turn around now?" Gambit asked. Rogue had asked him to face the other direction as she stripped and dove into the water. Among the items Rogue had placed in the tote bag were the lantern and a collar….but no swim wear. Gambit's heart had leapt when he saw that, though he was not at all surprised. Rogue's cues to him during dinner had been unmistakable.
"I'm in. Sugar, it's your turn now!" Rogue called from the water. Gambit turned around. Rogue grinned excitedly at him, her face still incredibly beautiful despite the fact that two missing teeth marred her smile. The tips of her wavy, auburn hair were wet.
"Are you cold in dere?" he asked, his eyes shining.
"Water's a little cold but it's kinda nice given how warm it is out there," she said. "Besides, Cajun, we can always find ways to warm each other up."
"So true, chere."
"Should I turn around now ?"
Gambit shrugged. "You can look. You seen it all before, anyway, amor," he added, though it had been many, many months.
"Okay, I will look then."
Gambit brazenly stripped off his T-shirt, revealing his muscular arms and flat abdomen. Rogue's eyes widened. It had been far too long since her eyes had feasted on this sight and she shamelessly gaped at him. "You like what you see, chere?"
"I'm almost drooling over ya, sugar."
Gambit smiled at the compliment, and then unzipped his trousers. In one swift movement, he brought his pants and underwear down to his ankles. He shed them quickly. Gambit then strode towards the water slowly, giving Rogue ample time to admire his form. Rogue gleefully took advantage of the chance to eye Gambit. He felt her gaze on him, relishing the attention and knowing she was still enjoying what she saw. Rogue did not lower her eyes at all.
As he got to the water's edge and slowly waded in, the cool water against his body did not disturb him in the least because other thoughts occupied his mind. He continued to move towards Rogue. When Gambit was immersed up to his shoulders in the water, Rogue swam up to him and planted a quick kiss on his lips.
"Do you wanna play tag? One of us could try to chase the other," Rogue suggested.
"Sounds good to me, chere. Why don't you try to catch Gambit?"
As soon as Rogue had agreed to that, Gambit swam off. He was a good swimmer, strong and swift. He wasn't going to make it easy on her. Rogue took off after him, wishing she had spent less time floating around in the ship's pool and more time swimming laps. When she realized she was not going to catch up to him, she felt an urge to use her powers, fly out of the water, and seize him that way. She was all set to do so when she realized her collar would prevent such a maneuver. Rogue redoubled her efforts, and then glanced at Gambit again, noticing she had closed the gap somewhat. Perhaps he had realized he was too fast. Rogue soon caught up to him. "Gotcha!" she said, touching her arms to his back and handily dunking him.
They continued to play for some more, chasing and dunking each other. Gambit was delighted at being able to touch her. After some time though, he said, "Gambit's gettin' tired. Don't wanna spend all our energy on dis, chere, do you?"
"Now that you mention it, Cajun, I can think of some other things to spend our energy on," Rogue replied. She swam over to Gambit, who was standing in some of the more shallow water; it came up to his shoulders.
They faced each other and embraced. Rogue was having a hard time holding her balance though, and being shorter than Gambit, the water was uncomfortably high on her. She instinctively anchored her legs around his waist and he held her. Gambit was overcome with the sensations-the water caressing their bodies and having the woman he adored wrapped around him, naked. They had never experienced this before.
"This is incredible," Rogue said. "I can't believe we're touching like this, Remy. It blows my mind!"
"'Dis feels good to Gambit, too, chere." His hands supported her waist, her breasts pressed into his chest. They had dreamed so many years of being able to touch like this. Gambit's pulse raced and he tried to steady his breathing. He wanted her so badly.
Rogue closed her eyes and pulled Gambit into a kiss. She had gotten quite good at kissing lately under his tutelage. This kiss was slow and lingering, their tongues lapping against each other's. Gambit continued to support her weight while running a free hand along her back. Rogue pressed herself even closer against Gambit. One of her hands stroked his long hair.
"Maybe, chere, we should take `dis out of the water," Gambit breathed. Rogue nodded her agreement.
Gambit swooped her around so he carried her in his arms, and brought her to the grassy edge of the water. The couple spread out a blanket and quickly towel-dried the excess water off. Rogue then lay down on her back. Gambit lay next to her, bringing his lips down on hers again, this time more urgently. "Gambit gonna make you come so hard tonight," he murmured. Rogue's reply was a deep moan.
Gambit knelt by her feet and began kissing her legs, licking and massaging the flesh as he placed kisses on it. "You have such beautiful legs, chere. I've wanted to kiss dem for so long." Gambit dipped his head back down and resumed the work of his tongue. Rogue's breathing and intermittent moans told him he was doing well. Gambit's hands worked Rogue's thighs, running up and down them, sending shivers of pleasure through her.
Rogue craned her head up, watching the tip of Gambit's head and feeling the work of his hands and mouth. It felt so good. The enjoyable sensations were prevalent but she still had to fight back illogical fears. He wasn't absorbing her powers; touching her was not going to hurt him. And she knew in her heart that this kind of touch was light-years different than the way the brutal soldiers had touched her. Her legs then acted on their own. They slowly moved apart.
Gambit dipped his head lower and kissed her inner thighs, delighting in their soft fullness. When he reached her mound of public hair, he quickly placed a kiss there and then said, "We do dis later, amor." He reached her abdomen and lovingly kissed it, as one hand crept up and reached for one of Rogue's hands. Rogue squeezed his hand gently. "Your skin taste so good," Gambit whispered. "Gambit dreamed so many years of bein' able to do dis."
"Me too," Rogue moaned. Further words were escaping her. She was just having to force herself to keep breathing. The sensations were all so profound. The area between her legs buzzed like a hornet's nest.
Gambit lifted his head. Rogue's full breasts were before him, her nipples almost painfully erect. "Gambit wait so long to be able to touch your beautiful breasts," he said, looking into her eyes. The intensity was overwhelming for Rogue and she closed her eyes, just knowing and trusting that whatever Gambit did would be good. She gave up any pretense at being in control. "So beautiful," he murmured. "Can Gambit touch, maybe even kiss?"
Rogue groaned in reply and pulled his head down to her breasts. He chuckled and used his tongue to slowly circle a nipple, over and over again. His head darted to the other breast and did the same. His cock was throbbing insistently but Gambit knew how to be patient, knew how to make the delight last as long as possible. Gambit used the point of his tongue to push the nipple in. "Oooh!" Rogue gasped.
"You like, chere?"
"Yes!"
Gambit then placed gentle kisses all along one breast, as his other hand squeezed the flesh of the other. He continued to kiss and caress them, before fluidly moving to touch the rest of Rogue; he held her hands and kissed them, kissed her shoulders, her neck. Their lips met again. Rogue was a bit shocked; he had never kissed her quite like this; his tongue was urgent, probing. He pulled back, almost worried that he was being too aggressive. All his instincts told him that she was enjoying this as much as he was, but he reminded himself he had to be extra-sensitive with Rogue; she was not just any woman. "You still like dis, amor?"
"Yes," Rogue panted.
"You tell Gambit if he do something you don't like, right?"
Rogue nodded. Gambit took that as all the encouragement he needed, as he traveled back down along Rogue's body. After placing a quick kiss on each nipple, he again planted kisses along her abdomen and thighs. He stopped when he reached her womanhood, this time looking intently at her, his eyes wide. "Can Gambit touch you dere?" he asked.
"Yes," Rogue said. Every touch, every sensation was heightened for Rogue since she'd never experienced anything like this before. This was incredible. And she wasn't afraid at all though she was a bit….nervous. It was a good kind of anticipation though.
Gambit asked her, "Do you want to open your lips for me, chere?"
Rogue was a bit confused, but she did what he suggested and opened her mouth. Gambit looked up at her quizzically. Rogue opened her eyes and looked at Gambit. The couple laughed together as the true meaning of what Gambit had asked hit her. "Oh." Rogue said, laughing.
"I didn't mean dose lips, chere," Gambit said, smiling.
Rogue reached one hand down there and parted the lips Gambit had referred to. Slowly and softly, Gambit inserted a finger. "You so wet down here…dat good…Gambit likes the wetness….You like it too, chere?"
Rogue moaned in reply. She was overwhelmed by his passionate lovemaking. Gambit's finger rhythmically stroked the pink lips. He then gently rubbed her erect clitoris. "Why don' we change positions, chere?" Gambit whispered. You roll on your side like dis…"
They changed positions so that Gambit lay behind Rogue, both facing the same way. Gambit nestled his face behind her neck, in her hair. Her natural scent was so good. He then reached his hands around and stroked her wetness. He had done this before many times during their years together and knew what touches brought her pleasure. The difference was that in the past, one of them had to be fully clothed. Gambit before had touched Rogue's nude body but he had always been clothed, with latex gloves protecting this hands and arms. This time, both of them were naked. Every touch, every feeling was enhanced. Their bodies burned.
Rogue moved her hips along with Gambit's hand, groaning and grunting. This was ecstasy. This was heaven. Gambit craned his head and licked her ear. "Oh!" Rogue exclaimed, in rapture. Gambit nibbled on her earlobe and then whispered into it, "Can Gambit have a little taste of you?….Dat would be so good….Gambit will use his tongue, make you feel really good….Dat would make Gambit feel really good too….You think you might like, chere?"
Rogue groaned again.
"Was 'dat a `yes'?" Gambit teased.
"Yes!" Rogue said. God this was so intense. God almighty. How much longer would she be able to take it?
Gambit re-positioned himself so he lay between her legs, supporting her round bottom on his hands. He kissed his way through the tendrils of hair and began to love her with his tongue. He penetrated her plump lips and ran along the ridges of flesh, exploring the pink pleasure.
Rogue's body felt on fire. She felt as if boiling wine were being pumped through her system. When she was finally able to breathe, she gulped air. Gambit's tongue continued to dart over her hot, hot moistness. He then used a long, slow stroke. Starting at her vaginal opening, he slowly, slowly licked his way up to her little pearl. He repeated this over and over again until she was moaning with lust. "You taste so good, chere," Gambit murmured. "Dis feel so good and taste so good." Rogue's moans intensified.
Pleased that his labors were brining a great deal of joy to Rogue, Gambit switched tactics and slowly penetrated her opening with his tongue. In and out, in and out he worked his tongue, her womanly scent and taste driving him crazy. His cock was so swollen now. He continued the movement of his tongue, probing and penetrating her for many long moments. Rogue thrust her hips back at his mouth until Gambit changed his approach. He brought his lips and tongue to her engorged clit and sucked on it. He then lovingly hummed against it, sending sensational vibrations through Rogue.
It was too much. Rogue screamed loudly as she came and came. The orgasm sent shockwaves through her body and she cried out his name as she worked her hips. She continued the movement for several moments as the climax resided.
A very gratified Gambit looked up when Rogue's body stopped shaking. "You like dat, chere?"
Rogue sat up, smiling and laughing. The build up and release had been overwhelming. She felt the tension ooze out of her. She had been pushed over the edge and was now coming back. She felt in more control of herself. "Oh my God. God, Remy, that was so good!" She grabbed some of his hair for a bit, and then lovingly stroked his head. "You're so fucking good. Oh my god. That was so amazing."
"I thought dat you liked it, amor."
"Now you git on your back, Swamp Rat! I wanna repay the favor you did me," Rogue said boldly.
For a split second, Gambit hesitated. He knew the FOH soldiers had forced her to do this. But he quickly pushed the hesitation away. Rogue would not have offered if she didn't want to.
Gambit lay on his back and Rogue swung her body over his. She placed a quick kiss on his lips. She wanted to move slowly and take the time to explore his muscular chest, shoulders, and arms and to caress his legs. But she was too eager, and gave his form only a few cursory strokes before reaching his throbbing member. She knelt before it and placed kisses up and down the hard length. She then used her tongue, licking him up and down. "Am I doin' this good, Gambit?" she asked.
He was struck by the innocence and lack of bravado. "Dis very good…..Use your tongue on the knob…'dere you go….ah, dat be nice…..dat feel so good….Can you take some of it in your mouth? Put jus' a little in and see if you can…..Ahhh…."
Rogue took his instruction well and did what he asked. She relaxed and took as much of him in her mouth as she could. She sucked strongly on him as shafts of pleasure plunged into his brain and body like sharp knives. Rogue enjoyed what she was doing. Thoughts of FOH soldiers were far from her mind. Listening to Gambit in the throes of ecstasy aroused Rogue again. She was making him mindless with pleasure! The area between her legs once again started to throb.
"Now chere," Gambit began, trying to keep control of himself. "Gambit is close to cuming now. Is up to you what we do tonight. You want me inside of you or -?"
"Yes!" Rogue said, lifting her head up. She scrambled so that she lay on her back and spread her legs invitingly for Gambit. Her heart beat madly. Gambit inside of her after all these years! After wishing and dreaming of it for so long. He would at last be able to penetrate her.
Gambit was as overjoyed at the thought as she was. It seemed to him that he'd waited a lifetime to do this. Gambit rearranged himself and hovered over his lover. He looked down at her luscious body, open to him. He thought of pausing to once again begin caressing her form, but Rogue caught onto his hesitation. "I want you inside me now, Remy!" she demanded.
"Okay, chere. Gambit give you what you want." Slowly he worked his way inside her, her moistness grasping him tightly. He plunged in deeper, fighting himself for control because he wanted to give her some time to get used to the sensation of fullness.
"Ooooohhh," Rogue breathed. "Oh god Remy." She reached her arms around to his back. His strong, muscular back felt so good in her hands as his rigid manhood filled her. This was….unique. It was different than anything she had ever experienced. She took a few deep breaths. He was throbbing inside of her.
"You ok, amor?"
"Yes. Yes, this feels nice. It's just different too."
Gambit patiently waited a few moments, looking down at Rogue's beautiful face. Sweat plastered her hair against her face, her eyes reflected a mixture of awe, happiness and lust. "I love you, chere," he whispered.
"I love you too," Rogue replied. She looked more at ease, so Gambit began the love rhythm. Slowly he withdrew and slowly he thrust back in. His hips continued to work. Rogue picked up the rhythm and pushed back. Thrills ran up and down her body as the couple continued their heavenly movements. Gambit whispered a few endearments in French to her, telling her how much he loved her, how she was driving him wild, how beautiful she was. Rogue's nails scratched her lover's back. This was amazing, this was wild. She made a low animal sound as she reached a deep and intense climax.
Gambit was a bit shocked that she had orgasmed again so quickly. He himself was past the point of being able to maintain any more control. He gave into the sensations and called out her name loudly as he came.
The lovers lay together by the water, talking and laughing together. Eventually they returned to camp. Once they nestled together in their tent, they made love again, over and over until both were physically exhausted.
As he drifted off to sleep, Gambit mused that it was, indeed, true that good things came to those who wait.
That night, the Professor, Wolverine, Beast, Colossus, Storm and Iceman were playing the card game of hearts. Storm and Iceman had gone over to the others' tent, and the group played their game by the light of a lantern. They elected not to play outside, despite the warm evening, because they did not want to disturb Jubilee, Jean and Scott who had declined their offer to play in favor of sleeping.
Their game was interrupted at one point by loud noises coming from Rogue and Gambit's tent. At first, the sounds were moans and groans. A few of the card game players blushed but they continued with their hand. Soon, though, the noises built in volume until they were difficult to ignore. At one point, Rogue was heard screaming, "YES, REMY, YES YES YES! REMY, YES OH MY GOD, YES!"
The Professor raised his eyebrows and said, "My gracious!"
The tension broken, the card playing group dissolved in a fit of laughter. Beast and Iceman had tears rolling down their faces. Even Wolverine had to laugh as hard as the rest.
Iceman spoke up and said, "Well I'm glad * someone's* gettin' some!" The group laughed even more, his words ringing only too true for all of them.
"Let's hide all the collars," Storm joked.
Meanwhile, Gambit glowed with pride as he made love to his beautiful girlfriend. He knew Rogue's screaming would wake anyone who wasn't already up. Let the world know that Remy LeBeau was a damn fine lover! He relished every second of it, her shrieks of delight seriously heightening his arousal. Rogue, on the other hand, was beyond knowing or caring what the others would think. She had never dreamed they would be able to do this, and she had never imagined that making love with Remy would be this…..fantastic, remarkable, phenomenal, marvelous! She never wanted to be doing anything else, from now on.
Scott and Jean were awakened from their sleep by the noises coming from Rogue and Gambit's tent. Scott snorted, "How unseemly." Jean then reached around and grasped him in a certain area. "Jean!"
"Oh, come on Scott, they're young and in love. What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing's wrong with it. But do they have to be so loud?"
Jean wrapped her arms around her husband and whispered in his ear, "You know, we could make some noise ourselves…."
Scott sighed and returned Jean's touches. She always had such an effect on him. "Okay, but *quietly*," he whispered back. Jean covered her husband's mouth with her own.
Meanwhile, Jubilee was awakened from a sound sleep by the noises coming from Rogue and Gambit's tent. She listened, becoming excited herself. For months and months she had felt no sexual desire at all. None. She had thought perhaps she would never feel it ever again, and had been starting to resign herself to it. She had even been trying to view it as a good thing. But the last couple of months….it had slowly started up again. Listening to Rogue's cries and groans, Jubilee reached her hands down between her legs. She hoped Bobby and Storm weren't returning to the tent anytime soon from their game.
The card game players resumed their game of hearts when the noises and their own laughter died down. Wolverine had been having trouble lately, spending so much time around women who were turned on so often. Maybe being outdoors had something to do with it. What his animal senses picked up from all of them was extremely arousing and he craved a woman's touch. It had been far too long for a man who loved making love to a woman as much as he did. Colossus's thoughts ran along similar lines. Beast felt wistful for Carly, and the Professor remembered Moira, Amelia and the other women he had loved in his life. Iceman wished for his ex, Michael or for Northstar or any other man who would be so inclined. Storm had been seriously considering asking one of her teammates. If only there were a way to do it that wouldn't put friendships at jeopardy.
The sounds from Rogue and Gambit's tent started up again, and again gradually rose in pitch. "Man, Gambit must be a machine!" Bobby exclaimed. The six began a new bout of uncontrollable laughter.
The next day, it was Iceman's turn to prepare lunch. A very tousled Gambit had slept through breakfast and staggered out of his tent around lunchtime.
"Here you go, Gambit," Bobby said loudly, heaping large quantities of pasta onto a plate, "Eat up. You really need to keep your strength up now."
Gambit eyed his teammates, sitting in a circle as they ate their lunch. A few of them smiled or snickered; Colossus winked at him. Rogue had woken Gambit up late that morning by using her tongue on a very sensitive area. A new round of lovemaking had ensued.
Gambit grinned. "You damn right, Bobby!"
The 11 of us sat around the campfire for lunch one day. I really don't know why we bothered to put together a campfire though. Even at night, we rarely needed it. The temperature was just perfect all the time. It was sometimes a tad cold at night, but all you needed were good socks, warm clothes, a few blankets and you were fine.
"Well, everyone," the Professor began, "we have a decision to make. Our two-week vacation will come to an end tomorrow, as you know. The magnetic field storms begin tomorrow and it is unsafe to travel in our ship during them."
"How long's the storm supposta' last?" Rogue asked. Most of us knew this already. I silently mused that she and Gambit had not been keeping up on the situation during the last few days, as they had been otherwise occupied. In fact we rarely saw them. We heard them sometimes though. : )
"If our readings are correct," Hank said, "the next storm will last for about 15 days. Now during the storm, we would be safe here on the planet's surface. The danger would only be in attempting to break out of the planet's atmosphere during a storm."
"So the question is," the Professor began, "do we stay here for another two weeks? According to the readings we have, if we do stay for the next 15 days, we will then have another window to leave. This window will be short though; it will be less than 3 hours. And if we miss that window, the following bout of storms could last four months." He paused, "So, if the group wants to stay here for another 15 days, we just need to be prepared to leave quickly when the window is open."
No one had any objections to that. We all were loving it here and everyone wanted the extra 15 days. As someone pointed out during our meeting, it is not as if we were *going* anywhere. We weren't due back anywhere. A few of us expressed a desire to get back in touch with earth and what was happening there….but what did another 15 days matter when we'd been gone seven and a half months? So we agreed to stay for now.
We didn't discuss it as a group, but I personally would have been fine staying even for the following four months during the upcoming long storm. Sometimes the days got a little boring, but certainly much less boring than they had been on board the ship. On the planet we had fresh air and sunlight, which I think our starved souls were still absorbing. Whenever I went on board the ship to take a shower or use the bathroom, there was a marked difference between the air and general atmosphere on board the ship compared to the planet. If anything, I worried we'd get too used to the planet and not want to get back on board the ship.
But I wasn't going to worry about it. Like everyone, I was just enjoying the planet. We had set up a volleyball net and played regularly. I actually wasn't totally bad at the game, though my serves all sucked. We had hiked all over the area, exploring it for several hours worth of walking in each direction. There was a second, smaller lake about an hour's walk away. It was even more beautiful than the first. Thanks to Storm and Rogue's flying, we knew that if we traveled, we would encounter new and different terrain. There were many forests. There was a large ocean too with sandy beaches, but we would be too near the humanoid lifeforms and larger animals if we moved there.
As always, we were careful to not disturb the natural surroundings or take from the planet (well, other than the dilithium, of course.) All of our waste was recycled on the ship as always. Once Hank saw Rogue walking about with a flower in her hair. He asked her where she got it from and she innocently said that Gambit gave it to her. Turned out, Gambit had unthinkingly plucked it, from the planet, of course. Both Hank and the Professor had given the couple a *very* stern talking to. They apologized, sounding sincerely regretful, and promised they would not do it again.
I know this because I overheard their exchange. It was an interesting thing about living on the planet: you could not help but to overhear more. On board the ship, the 11 of us had lived in very close quarters. But on the planet, we were living even more on top of each other. It didn't bother me. Maybe it should have, but it didn't. If I really wanted privacy….um, like to attend to, you know, personal matters, I generally went back to my room on the ship. There was always that as an option.
Another time, I overheard Jean and Rogue having a discussion about birth control. It was in the middle of the day, and they were discussing it right outside my tent (I had gone into the tent earlier for a post-lunch nap and they didn't know I was there.) Jean was asking Rogue if she and Gambit were using any birth control. Rogue had sheepishly said that they had forgotten about it at first, but were now availing themselves of the condom supplies from the ship. I knew that the supply wouldn't last forever and made a mental note to look into replicating some more.
Sometimes you overheard things just by sharing a tent with others. We never budged from our original, haphazardly put-together roommate groups and they basically suited everyone just fine. I got used to Jubilee's snoring. She was shocked when I told her she snored but it was the truth and we had a laugh over that.
One night, though, I was awakened by a much less pleasant disturbance.
I had gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Grabbing the flashlight, I made the trek from the tent to the ship so I could use the facilities. (This was a big drawback of sleeping outside, but just pissing behind a tree somewhere was a big no-no.) Anyhow, once I returned to the tent I simply couldn't get back to sleep. I guessed it was only a couple hours before sun-up and sleep just wasn't coming back to me. So I lay there for a while. Gradually, I heard noises coming from Storm. She was asleep but she was tossing and turning. With every passing minute, it seemed she thrashed around even more and disturbing sounds came out of her mouth. I wasn't sure what to do. If I were having a really bad nightmare, as she obviously was, I would like to be wakened from it. But who knew what her preference was? With reservations, I let her continue to toss until she cried out and sat up, muffling a scream.
On instinct, I went over to her. She sat with her head in her hands, shaking. I gently whispered, "Storm? Are you alright? Can I do anything to help?"
As soon as I did that, I regretted it. Storm was powerful, stately, and strong. She was going to kill me for seeing her in such a state, for acknowledging this.
But instead she reached for my outstretched hand and held it. She was quiet for a very long time. I knelt there the whole time, my legs getting sore as I silently debated. Should I hug her? Put my arm around her? No…those would be too intimate. She was holding my hand, that was good. I decided to just leave it at that. She took several deep breaths.
"I'm alright," she finally whispered, "Just a bad nightmare." I could see her relax and she gave my hand a squeeze.
"I get those sometimes too," I admitted. I wasn't sure if she like wanted to talk about it or not. "You sure you're alright though?"
Storm nodded. "That was one of the worst ones I've had in a while. It was ugly." She went on to describe it for me. Her nightmare had combined her claustrophobia with the attacks from the FOH soldiers. She didn't go into a lot of detail, and her tone was straightforward and even when she recounted the nightmare. I sat and listened.
When she was done recounting her dream, she asked me, "What about you, Bobby? Do you ever have nightmares?"
I nodded. "Yes, I do." I closed my eyes. "I get some really bad ones."
"What happens in them?"
I shared with her some of the nightmares I sometimes had. Mine usually involved me being stripped and humiliated in front of everyone. They never ended with me saving the day either. "I also have nightmares about losing my friends," I continued. "I mean, not losing them to death but having them reject me. Having them tell me they don't want anything more to do with me."
"Because you're gay?" she asked.
"Yes," I said. "It's totally ridiculous. I mean, I often dream that I lose Hank, and he's never been anything but….but a true friend to me. Yet the nightmares are there."
We talked until the sun was up. She did not want to discuss her nightmares any more but she probed me about mine. I realized why I sometimes have these dreams about losing Hank's friendship. When I was in high school, my best friend at the time rejected me when he found out I was gay. It had been a huge loss. I had cared about him a great deal, and I spent many nights crying myself to sleep after his rejection.
After some time, Storm and I could hear others emerging from their tents. I felt a new closeness with her.
"I'm on breakfast duty this morning," Storm finally said. "I'd better get going." She made as if to get up, but paused and looked into my eyes. "Thank you, Bobby."
Our vacation may have been extended by another two weeks, but they also flew by pretty quickly. Whenever I got bored, I just offered to help Hank with his studies. His head was spinning from all the samples he'd collected and the many long hours of fascinating research (well, fascinating for him anyway) he would have whenever we left the planet.
Jubilee and I were walking together one day. There was so much beautiful nature to see, no matter which direction from the camp you decided to explore. We knew that there was an actual waterfall not too far from us, and decided to try to reach it that day. I carried a picnic basket with us; we had decided to eat our lunch there. The terrain in this area was mostly comprised of long stretches of grass, with lots of valleys and trees. We never wondered where we were though. The computer printed out detailed maps for us, and we always went off with a communicator just in case.
"How are you doing?" I asked, looking over at Jubilee.
"I'm ok," she said. "I know that walking is a good exercise for when you're pregnant. And these are good shoes. My back's sore though, but what else is new?"
"We can always turn back if it's really getting to you," I reminded her.
"I know. But I really want to make it to the waterfall. I only saw it once, and that was a while ago. Rogue flew me there. But anyhow, I think I can make it. We're almost there," she said, glancing at the map she carried.
"It will make a lovely place for our picnic."
Jubilee stopped and grasped her stomach. "What is it?" I asked, worried.
"She's moving again! Here, feel it."
I placed my hand on Jubilee and felt the baby move. "Wow!" I exclaimed. I'd felt her move before, but still it was pretty cool.
"Gee, I just can't believe that in like a month I'm gonna be a mother."
I raised my eyebrows. "How do you feel now? Excited? Scared?"
"All of those things. But I know it'll be alright. It'll be totally weird too, though. But I'm glad Jean and Scott are having a baby too."
"A playmate for your girl," I said. "Hey, do you know if they're going to find out if theirs is a boy or girl beforehand?"
"I asked `em about it a little while ago and they said they finally decided they want to be surprised." Jubilee paused. "At first, I was happy when I learned mine was a girl. Now I don't feel so good about that anymore."
"Why do you say that?"
She took a deep breath. "You know, she might be a mutant. What if someday she has to live through what I did, with those soldiers? And what am I going to tell her when she asks why she has no father?"
"Jubilee, you just can't worry about those things now." I tried to make light of it, "Look, it's gonna be a long time before she's old enough to talk, so you got a few years to go on that one!" She didn't return my smile.
"I know there's no point in worrying about it. And I did talk to Storm about this. She helped me. But she also said something like, well she could be raped someday whether she's a mutant or not. I was like, `That doesn't make me feel any better, Storm.'"
"When will you know if she is a mutant?" I asked.
"Hank says once the baby is born, he can do some tests to try to see if she has the gene. He says it's not quite safe to do them while she's in utero."
"I see. Hey, Jubilee, I wasn't trying to blow off what you brought up. I mean, it like does piss me off that she could be raped someday, whether by a FOH soldier or someone else. Men can be such total jerks. But it just isn't going to help to stress over it now."
"I was thinking like I could teach her self-defense, but if she ever gets kidnapped by FOH, that won't do any good. Rogue, Storm, and Jean were three of the most powerful people on earth and it didn't help them." She sighed. "But I am gonna start thinking of what to tell her when she asks who her father is."
"Can I make a recommendation?"
"Anytime."
"I know it might be your instinct….well, it might be *my* instinct, to not be entirely truthful. To just make something up, you know, sugarcoat the truth. But those lies always end up hurting a family more than they help."
She was quiet for a moment. "I appreciate that, Bobby. Since you were raised in a family, you have a better sense of that." Jubilee had been orphaned at a young age and, like Cyclops, spent her youth with a series of foster parents.
"Well, my family was not at all the model family. In fact it was really dysfunctional. But I really think little people are tougher than we give them credit for. And I hated being lied to all the time as a kid." I took a breath. "But that's just my own personal take on it. Probably the best person to ask about this would be Jean, since she came from by far the happiest family situation of us all."
Jubilee nodded. She was looking down and deep in thought. She was quiet for several moments, and I didn't want to interrupt her train of thought. "Hey, Bobby," she began slowly, "tell me about what happened on board the ship. You know, when we were prisoners."
At first I thought I misheard her. I was confused, "Do you not remember?"
"Oh, I remember a lot. I remember some of the gang rapes. The other women have told me, during our healing ceremonies, some other things that happened. And I pick up bits and pieces from everyone. But what happened to you guys? What was being captured like for you? And…." her voice trailed off, "and I know that at some point I was returned to the cell you guys were in but I don't remember anything about that at all."
My breathing sped up and I got a headache. "Why do you want to hear about this? It was such a horrible…ordeal."
"So we should just forget about it and pretend it never happened?"
"No, no, not at all. We can't do that. It's just-it's so upsetting. Why go over it again?"
"See, now you're acting just like you say we shouldn't act with the baby! I want to hear the whole story."
"But I wasn't talking about lying or not giving you the whole story. It's just that….it brings up such bad memories to go over it again. But….well, if you want to, we can talk about it."
"Okay," she nodded. I had no idea where to begin so was glad when Jubilee started with a question. "What happened to you guys in the cell? Did the guards hurt you?"
"Well, *physically*, no. Not at all. I guess we were lucky. In fact….like we talked about with Shaman, I know most of us guys feel….guilty that you were the ones being hurt, not us. Even though it's not logical." As I was talking, I started feeling some pains in my stomach. It all came back to me—the half rotted meat they served us, the smell of unlaundered clothes, Wolverine's bloody fists. The ache of despair and the blood-boiling rage. The anguish at being able to do nothing, the hours on end of sitting like a caged animal. "We sat in the cell all day and they brought us food. They, um, they taunted us all the time though. They said things that they knew would emotionally hurt us. Wow….my head and my stomach hurt just thinking back to it. All day and night for the whole time we were in there, I had the most crushing, the worst anxiety I ever had. It was physically painful." I felt the knives of anxiety puncturing my stomach again.
"What did they do to emotionally taunt you? Did you know what they were doing to us?"
"Yes," I answered. "As soon as they forced all four of you to leave the cell, I guessed what….what they were going to do to you. Someone asked them what they were going to do to you, and the lead shithead said something like his soldiers were going to show you what a real man is like in bed. From that point on, it was chaos in our cell. I mean, we all just went crazy."
I looked over at Jubilee. She was looking down as we walked and her face was unreadable. "Do you want to hear more?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "I want to hear some of the details."
"Well…um, it was really bad. The idiot soldiers kept coming in and saying things like…." I paused. Did she really want to hear this? She was now looking at me and I think she wanted me to go on, "…like, `We're fucking your bitches and they're really great' and crap like that. They said things like that that they knew would torture us and it did. I sat against the wall and cried a lot. In fact, most of the other guys actually cried at some point, and I sure don't often see grown men cry. There was one point I looked up and the Professor was just bawling like a baby. Wolverine bloodied his hands every day pounding against the forcefield. We did a lot of futile things to try to escape. I think we knew they'd be futile too, but we had to try. And Wolverine and Gambit kept fighting each other. I think they just needed some way to get it out of their system since we were helpless. You had never seen more helpless, angry and agonized guys in your life. It was just a total hell." I stopped there, hoping it would be enough and she wouldn't want more detail.
"It was for me too," she said quietly.
I touched her hand. "I know," I whispered to her. I hoped my words hadn't hurt her, but she *had* wanted me to tell her this. Her eyes looked faraway.
But then she asked me to tell her more. "So what happened when they returned me to your cell?"
I gulped. "So…no one's discussed this with you?"
"No. Not in any detail. I asked the Professor to tell me a bit about what happened, and he did. But I want to hear your version."
"Well," I began. This was so unpleasant to go over. I don't know why she wanted to torture herself like this. But I tried to see it her way. Curiosity had to be a big part of it. I guess that's human nature, "Well, one day the leader bastard comes in and says something like, `One of your women has gone crazy so we're sending her back to you now.' He then goes off and doesn't come back for….I dunno, it felt like a few hours. We just sat there, like frozen. So finally he comes back with a few guards and they toss you through the airlock. As soon as-"
"Was I naked?"
"Yes, but as soon as you came through, we dressed you. Wolverine gave up his pants and Gambit covered you with his jacket." I was quiet for a second but her expression told me to go on. "Um, don't be embarrassed. All we were thinking of at that point was trying to take care of you. And, well, Hank and I tried to clean your wounds as best we could. We all took turns sitting with you and talking to you. But you had that blank stare on your face. You didn't respond to anything. I, um, I had never been so despondent in my whole life. I mean, the guards would tell us stuff like it was just 30 hours to go before they were going to kill us all. I think by then we all felt physically ill." I stopped. I hoped this would be enough.
"And then you saved the day," she said.
"Whatever you want to call it." She and I had talked about this part before.
"Wow, we are lucky. If they hadn't read your personnel file, if they hadn't decided to single you out and….and do whatever it is they were going to do to you-"
"Torture me, I'm sure."
"Yeah, well if they hadn't done that, we would all be dead. Do you ever think about that?"
"No. I mean, I try not to."
"I think it is amazing. What if they never decided to look at our personnel files? What if yours was missing or destroyed? What if it didn't give them enough information to figure out that you were gay?"
"What if the soldiers who took me away hadn't been complete dunderheads and hadn't removed my collar?"
"We'd all be dead," she finished. "We'd have been scalded to death on the Acid Planet."
I looked up and saw the waterfall in the distance. "Look, we're almost there. Though I'm not sure I'm in the mood for a tranquil picnic anymore," I said, forcing a smile.
"Actually, I thank you for this. It helped." Jubilee said. We walked faster since the beautiful waterfall was in sight. "I've been wondering a lot the last few weeks. I mean, I'm gonna be a mom soon. So I've been wondering a lot….where will my girl be raised? We can't go back to earth now. Will we ever go back? And if we don't, where will we go? What will this girl be like if she doesn't have a permanent home?"
"You never had a permanent home, and you turned out pretty good," I said, smiling.
"I had the X-men."
"So will she," I shrugged. "We're still X-men, no matter where we are. And you're right-we don't know where we're going or if we'll ever be able to live on earth again. Home and family are what you make it. I think if she grows up surrounded by all of us and with you as a mom, she's going to be just fine."
When we got to the waterfall, we spread out our picnic and laid around, eating. Jubilee seemed in a pretty good mood. Me, I didn't care for having to go through those memories again. After spending time on this paradise planet, you could almost forget that stuff ever happened. Recounting those memories had been like being doused with cold water. No, it was worse than that. I had to remind myself that the fresh sandwiches that comprised our lunch that day were not the stale bread that Cyclops kept throwing up during our imprisonment.
Cyclops, Storm and Beast were drilling themselves on board the starship. Tomorrow would be the day when the X-men would need to leave the planet; their month-long vacation was at an end. The next day there would be a three hour break in the atmospheric storms, and they would use that window to take their ship out of the atmosphere, away from the planet.
The decision to do so had not been unanimous. Many X-men favored remaining on the planet, even though their next opportunity to leave would not be for another four months. But a big enough majority, and all of the group's leaders, felt it was time to return to space. The group agreed to head towards earth. Maybe the situation on earth had changed a bit, though no one was holding their breath. At the very least, they wanted to get close enough to earth to be able to pick up some news about their home planet.
The group spent the day cleaning up their campsite. Jubilee actually shed a few tears as Storm and Iceman dissembled their tent. Wolverine watched the others take down the campsite, shaking his head. What was the point? At the ship's highest speed, it would take them five months to return to earth. (And he knew that in order to conserve supplies, they were unlikely to travel at the fastest speed.) "So we sit on the ship for six or seven months, get back to earth, and find out that everyone hates us as much as they did before," he had grumbled during the group meeting. But too many others had wanted to get back in touch with earth and learn about the situation there. Curiosity won the day.
On the bridge of the ship, Beast expressed concern to Cyclops and Storm about the readings he was picking up. "It is impossible to pin down exactly when the storms end and begin again. And 3 hours is just an estimate. The window could be shorter than that."
"We trust you," Storm said, examining her console and only half-listening. She didn't feel like discussing the atmospheric disturbances. It was trite, she knew, but she disliked the thought that there existed weather conditions beyond her control. She was relieved that her powers worked in every other way, but these storms were far too powerful for her.
And even though she had agreed with the Professor that it was time to leave, Storm lamented the fact that she had not spent sufficient time being naked outdoors or swimming nude. It was hard to get away from the 10 others. If you mentioned you were going off somewhere, someone else always wanted to join you. She and Wolverine were the only ones who had such a strong desire to experience nature while unclothed (well, except for Rogue and Gambit, but they were another story), and she hadn't felt right about going off at night by herself. She also hadn't felt right about asking Wolverine to accompany her. That could create situations, bring up feelings that were inappropriate among friends. And given Storm's prolonged sexual inactivity, it could make her request things of him that she would later regret.
"I'm sure we'll make it," Cyclops said in reply to Beast. He, once again, would pilot the ship. Jean was so eager to be able to mentally "pick up" her family. Scott also wondered how his in-laws were doing; he loved them too, little that they were able to see each other. He and Jean prayed they were all still alive and well, but Jean needed to be in closer proximity to earth to get a reading on them. They were so many billion lightyears away now. Jean mused that her parents would be thrilled to have another grandchild. She wondered if either her niece or nephew displayed any mutant characteristics. It was too soon, she knew, but she wondered.
Each X-man returned to their room on the ship to sleep that night, with the exception of Rogue and Gambit who were now sharing a room. It was amazing what you could get used to. Rogue wore her collar whenever she and Gambit were cuddling or otherwise getting intimate. She now could sleep in it and completely forget it was on. The couple curled up together, Rogue's arms around Gambit. They slept the sleep of the contented.
"I'm gonna miss sharing a tent with you guys," Jubilee said to Storm and Iceman before bedtime.
"I will also miss it," Storm said.
"Me too," Bobby added. "And if either of you ever want a backrub, just knock on my door."
"I offer both of you the same," Storm said.
Beast was in the room with them at the time, and Iceman turned to his best friend. "And anytime you need your coat brushed, you just holler, ok?"
Beast nodded appreciatively. "Thank you, Bobby. And I know I can count on you to tell me when my coat is shaggy."
"You bet, hairball!"
The Professor sat in his room, reading some print outs from the computer before bed, when his communicator chirped. "It's Wolverine," the voice on the other end said. "I'm gonna sleep outside tonight. Just wanted to tell you where I'll be, Professor."
"Thank you for telling me, Wolverine," the Professor said. He knew not to question Logan about this. If the man wanted to sleep on the hard ground, that was his choice. Wolverine brought his sleeping bag and flat pillow outside. One more night under the stars, breathing the fresh air….it would be his last time for months. He was not about to miss it.
The next morning, a wrench was thrown into the works for the X-men. The storms ended much sooner than they had expected. Half of the group was still in bed.
"We need to begin take-off preparations *now*," Beast said over the intercom, waking up several members of the team. If the storms were ending sooner, his readings illustrated that they would begin anew sooner too. This was hours earlier than they had expected. Beast silently cursed himself. How could his calculations yesterday have been so far off? Cyclops and Storm scrambled to the bridge, both with unkempt hair and sleepy faces. Storm wore her pajamas and a robe. Cyclops was dressed, but clearly taken by surprise.
"Wolverine decided to sleep outdoors," the Professor spoke into the intercom. "Wolverine, come in," he said, activating his communicator. "Where are you?"
There was no answer. The Professor took a deep breath. Apparently the Canadian had removed his communicator. The Professor then spoke into the intercom, "Everyone, get in position for take-off. Go to your stations. Jean and Colossus, however, a different mission for you. Disembark and find Wolverine. He's outside and he couldn't have gone far. He does not have his communicator on." He repeated his instructions until receiving acknowledgement from Jean and Colossus.
"Acknowledged, Professor," Jean said. She met Colossus by the ship's airlock and they disembarked together. "We'll have Wolverine in a few minutes," she said as they made their way down the ship's exit ramp. Wolverine's pillow and sleeping bag lay proximate to the ship where their campground had been. Wolverine was nowhere in sight.
Jean began mentally scanning the area. She called to Wolverine, using her mind. She breathed a quick sigh of relief when he responded. He let her know that he'd been swimming and would be there in a minute.
"Sorry if I scared you, darlin'" Wolverine called out, emerging from the trail that led to the lake. "I thought we were leaving a few hours from now."
/There's been a change of plans./ Jean spoke into his mind. She and Colossus spotted Wolverine's form as he jogged their way.
"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Jean exclaimed when her teammate was in visual range. Wolverine was buck naked. Jean rolled her eyes, turned her back, and returned to the ship.
"You might want to put clothes on before we take off," Colossus said, chuckling.
Wolverine shrugged, a bit peeved to have been called away like this. "What's the story, Colossus? Why are we leavin' now?" He picked up his sleeping bag and pillow, carrying them.
"Beast say that storm ended earlier than he think. So we need to go now before it start up again," Colossus explained as the men walked up the ramp.
"We have Wolverine," Colossus said, speaking into the intercom.
"Excellent," the Professor said. "Come to engineering right away for take-off."
Jean's voice cut in. "They need a minute or two. Wolverine is not decent." A bit of laughter was heard through the intercom.
After not long, the group was ready. Cyclops, Storm and Beast sat on the bridge. Everyone else was strapped into their seats in engineering. Most of the group were in some state of undress; only the Professor looked as if he'd showered and had breakfast.
Wolverine took the empty seat next to Jean. He grinned. "Sorry if the sight of me offended you this morning, darlin'."
Jean smirked. "It didn't offend me. I was a little *under* whelmed, though," she joked. Wolverine was now clad in a pair of jeans.
"You just ain't used to seeing such a hairy chest, are you?"
Jean rolled her eyes again. The site of Wolverine was not at all unpleasant but she sure wasn't about to let that out. Jubilee, sitting near the two, didn't even try to stifle a giggle.
Cyclops's voice rang over the intercom. "We'll be ready for take off in five minutes now." The whir of the engines starting up sounded. Machinery and engines hummed.
The mood on the bridge was tense. Beast could not help but to shake his head and repeat his lament, "How could my calculations have been so far off?" Fears swirled around in the others' minds. If the numbers were off yesterday, what did that mean for today?
At one point, Storm did suggest, "Perhaps we should abort the take-off now."
"We do have two hours and 25 minutes, according to these figures," Cyclops said, reading his monitor. "I think we'll be fine."
Successfully lifting the ship from the planet's surface-doing so without jeopardizing the ship's integrity and also leaving the planet intact-would be extremely tricky. By far, it would be the most difficult part. The ship was not taking off from a landing pad or space station, and such a vessel as this one had not been built for this. Cyclops, Storm and Beast checked and re-checked their instruments.
"Take off in 20 seconds," Cyclops said. The ship's computer began a count-down. When it reached the number "1", the noise from the engines intensified. The ship felt as if it were vibrating. None of the inhabitants of the ship could physically feel it, but the vessel was traveling upwards, away from the ground.
"We did it," Iceman said, eyeing a nearby console in engineering. The ship was heading for the atmosphere, slowly progressing upwards.
"Nice work, Cyclops," the Professor spoke into the intercom. "Our ship is in one piece and the planet's surface undamaged."
"We're not out of the forest yet," Scott replied. "We still need to successfully enter space."
"But the worst is over," Storm added.
No sooner had the words fallen from her lips when a huge magnetic field storm entered the atmosphere. "Where did that come from?" Beast asked incredulously, staring at his control panel.
Those sitting in engineering could hear panic in Beast's tone, even over the intercom.
"We need to change course," Cyclops said, his fingers working diligently. He updated the X-men in the engine room, letting them know what he planned. Although the ship's crew could not feel it, their vessel veered suddenly in one direction.
Storm's wide eyes started at her console, stunned. "This is an immense storm. How could we have missed it?"
Beast read his monitor. "Uncertain whether this course correction will allow us to successfully avoid the disruption." Hank realized he, and the others, had made a huge miscalculation. They should never have attempted to leave the planet during the three hour window. They should have waited until they had more time, should have not underestimated the unpredictability of the storms.
"I know," Cyclops said, fighting off panic. "Switching to manual."
Cyclops attempted to steer the ship away from the storms, but to no avail. After only minutes, the ship found itself in the middle of a raging magnetic field storm.
Storm attempted once more to use her powers to hold it back, but her efforts were futile. The group found themselves buffeted around, held in place only by their seatbelts. Anything on board the ship that was not held down was thrown back and forth as the ship rocked violently. Wolverine thought of making a joke about being glad he hadn't had time for breakfast that morning, but he thought better of it. His thoughts were interrupted by an explosion - just a few feet away from him! Several people screamed. Jean quickly used her powers to create a bubble around the explosion, protecting the group.
"Our engines have been hit!" Beast exclaimed. He, Storm and Cyclops looked with disbelief at their monitors. The engines were no longer responding to their commands.
"Brace yourselves," Cyclops called out. "We're going down!"
Panicked looks were exchanged all around the engine room. How would they survive a crash? The ship continued to be jostled, often violently. People were becoming dizzy from the constant buffeting. They could feel the ship now rushing downwards. Jubilee placed a protective arm across her abdomen.
The Professor and Jean found each other's eyes across the room and exchanged a look. This would take all their concentration if it was going to work. They each took a deep breath and created a protective bubble around the ship. They could not keep it afloat in the storm, but they could possibly take the ship back down to the surface using the power of their minds. Concentrating, they formed the bubble around the ship. The ship continued to be rocked back and forth but less intensely.
Gently and gradually, the bubble floated the ship back down towards the planet. Both X-men held their eyes closed, the strain of maintaining the ship's protection apparent. Someone filled in the bridge on what was happening.
"We're heading straight for one of the planet's oceans," Cyclops said. "We need the ship to move towards one of the land masses."
The Professor and Jean concentrated harder. Creating the bubble was one thing but being able to steer it was another. They redoubled their efforts. Jean's body shook from the strain. The ship's descent was slowed even more.
Glancing at her monitor, Storm noticed that the ship was moving towards a land mass, but not fast enough. `I might not be able to control the atmospheric storms but I can master the weather here!' Storm thought to herself. Rising from her seat, she spread her arms and spoke. "Winds of this planet, I command you to move our ship! Steer us away from the ocean. Guide us towards the land."
The combined force of the three X-men's powers directed the ship towards the land. The ship was set down on a sandy beach.
As soon as they were able to break out of their seatbelts, Wolverine and Rogue got to work on extinguishing the engine fire that Jean had been containing with her mind. When she saw her teammates working on that, she relaxed her mind and slumped back down in her seat, exhausted. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, trying to clear her head as much as possible. The Professor was also strained from the work but glad for their success. "Thank you for the boost, Storm," he called over the intercom. "We wouldn't have made it to shore without you."
"Is everyone ok down there?" Cyclops asked.
"No one's hurt and the fire is being contained right now," Jubilee answered.
"We got no idea how badly the engines are damaged now," Wolverine said.
TO BE CONTINUED