Chapter 11
Once the X-men were finished dealing with the planet's inhabitants, they turned their full energies back to repairing their ship's engines. For the first time in a long time, the four members of the engineering team felt as if they were making progress in understanding what needed to be done to fix the engines. Yet their work was arduously slow going.
One evening, Jubilee sat on the bridge with Aurora. Holding the sleeping infant, she looked out at the sea, visible through the big picture window. She watched the waves rhythmically crash against the beach as the sun set in the background. Jubilee's mind began to wander. Memories long pushed aside gradually began to resurface. As time passed, the sun gradually disappeared. After some time, Jubilee placed her sleeping daughter inside her carrier.
She started and whirled her head around, gasping when the door to the bridge slid aside.
"I didn't mean to scare ya, darlin'," Wolverine said. He'd hoped to grab a few minutes to watch the sun setting against the ocean that evening, and hadn't known Jubilee would be on the bridge. He took a closer look at his young friend's face. It was streaked with tears.
Jubilee mumbled something like "It's okay," in response to Wolverine's startling entry. She was embarrassed that he'd seen her crying, but at the same time she didn't want him to leave.
"You okay, kid?" he asked.
Jubilee looked down and tried to muffle her tears. She decided against nodding her head, since it would so obviously be a lie.
"You feel like talkin' about it?"
This time Jubilee nodded. She didn't want him to go. Wolverine approached her slowly. She was sitting in the captain's chair, and he took a seat next to her. Wolverine reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Here you go," he said.
"Thank you," Jubilee managed to say. She took the handkerchief and used it. When she was done wiping her eyes and blowing her nose, she handed it back to Wolverine. He took it and placed it back inside his pocket.
Jubilee then decided she wanted a hug more than anything. She turned her chair towards Wolverine's and slid into his arms. As his arms encircled her, she felt the dam burst and resumed crying, this time harder. She let him hold her as her emotions spilled forth and her tears fell onto his shoulder. She cried for a long time, not muffling any of her sobs. The fabric covering Wolverine's shoulder became damp.
Afterwards, Jubilee felt better. Letting it all out and feeling Wolverine's warmth and caring helped. She broke off the embrace and looked at him. "I, um-thank you for-" she began, but was cut off by her baby's cries. Aurora woke up from her nap. Much as Jubilee loved the baby, the girl's cries could be ear-splitting at times and she knew they had to be even worse for someone who was not as accustomed to it as she was.
Jubilee looked apologetically at Wolverine. "I have to feed her now," she said. "Um, are you gonna be ok with-"
"Do what you gotta do, Jubilee. You still want me here?"
Jubilee nodded. "If you wanna stay, then, yes," she answered. Wolverine averted his eyes as she unbuttoned her shirt, reached for the screaming baby and then placed Rory at her breast. Rory contently grasped one of her mother's breasts and suckled.
Jubilee looked back at Wolverine. "Thank you," she said. Her eyes were still wet but the tears had ceased.
"Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on, kid, I'm here for ya." He paused. Jubilee noticed that his eyes met hers and did not once stray downwards. "So, do you wanna talk about it now?"
Jubilee nodded. "I just feel sick watching what happened to that girl. The one that Storm's camera showed us." There was no need to specify any further which girl was meant. "I don't know why it hit me now….I was just sitting here looking at the sea when that came into my mind. I just-every now and then I have these flashbacks…A lot of what happened to me, I blocked out. But every now and then, bits and pieces keep coming back."
Wolverine placed an arm around her shoulders. Jubilee met his gaze. She was struck by the caring and concern in those eyes. She went on, "And now that I have Aurora, sometimes I worry that something like that is going to happen to her…..Part of me was worried that I would hate this baby, but now I love her so much."
Wolverine spoke, "You're a very loving mom. She is lucky to have you." He took a breath. "I'm sorry about what happened to you when we were prisoners on this ship. I hate that I couldn't prevent it."
"I know. There was nothing you could have done though. There was nothing any of us could have done."
They continued talking like this for some time. It was amazingly easy, Jubilee knew, to pour out everything to Wolverine. He was a good listener. He offered as much support and advice as he could.
"You ever think of training again, Jubilee?" he asked her at one point. "That might help. We don't know what the future will bring. It might make you feel more in control if you were back to training, using your powers like before."
She looked at him. She hadn't ever used the Danger Room on board this ship. As her pregnancy had progressed, she had wanted to get back into shape. But once Aurora arrived, Jubilee spent so much time with the baby, she had not trained.
"You made a damn good X-man," Wolverine continued. "I liked your bravery and your spirit right from the start. `Princess of Pyrotechnics'," he said, smiling, using a nickname she'd espoused for a time. Jubilee returned his smile. "You've got good powers and you have always been a brave one."
Jubilee smiled, "The flattery approach is working. You've actually got me considering training again."
"C'mon, Jubilee. Tomorrow you and I could go a few rounds in the Danger Room against Sinister and the Nasty Boys. You'll be back at the level you were at before you know it. I'll help you."
She took a breath. "Okay. I'll try it. Maybe you're right about it helping me get over my fears." She paused, "Though we're going to have to set the Danger Room to a very easy setting at first, ok?"
He nodded.
Aurora had stopped nursing. Jubilee looked down at her baby. "You wanna hold her? She does love her Uncle Wolvie."
"Okay," Wolverine said, suppressing his grin. He loved holding the baby and knew that Jubilee knew that. But he still didn't like to admit it. He took her into his arms. Aurora promptly reached up and grabbed at Wolverine's facial hair.
"She's been doing stuff like that all the time," Jubilee said. "She's been grabbing at everything and putting everything in her mouth."
"That's ok," Wolverine said. He didn't mind the tugging at his hair and was heartened that Jubilee wanted to resume training again. Looking at Aurora and her mother, he felt an intense surge of love, so strong it worried him. Loving someone always brought so much pain. He knew that his words to Jubilee had been right. No one knew what the future would bring, and Wolverine suspected that no matter how many lightyears were between them now, the X-men would someday again encounter the Friends of Humanity. And when they did, he might be as helpless to protect Jubilee and the others as he was the first time.
The birth of Jean and Scott's baby was surprisingly simple and…festive, even. Jean said she wanted us to all be a part of it; she didn't seclude herself at all. She walked around, hung out with us in the rec room, and interacted with all of us during her labor, except for during the very last stages.
I saw something that I thought was very touching. When she was having a contraction, Scott put his hands on her lower back and applied pressure. She said that really helped make the contraction more bearable. She also owned up to using her mental abilities to lessen the severity of the pain.
Jean told us she'd been writing a lot of poetry lately. I knew she'd always been a fan of it. Hank had been reviewing her work and thought it excellent. She said she thought her impending motherhood was fueling her creativity.
When she reached the final stages of labor, she, Hank and Scott went off into the infirmary. The rest of us waited around in the rec room, exchanging excited looks. Hours later, Hank came in and told us that Jean and Scott had a beautiful baby girl. She weighed in at 7lbs, 5 ounces.
As when Jubilee's baby was born, we all filed into the infirmary to have a look at the newest member of the team. Jean looked tired but happy, and Scott radiated pride. The Professor looked teary and joyful as he held little Charlotte Lynn Summers-Grey. I thought it was a beautiful name and very cool to pay tribute to the Professor like that.
The baby looked a lot like how Aurora had when she was a newborn-red, tiny, and rather ugly. Charlotte had her mom's red hair.
After we'd all seen her and welcomed her to the family, Jean and Scott said they wanted to be alone with the baby. They lit a bunch of candles in sick bay, turned off the lights, and spent the quiet time with Charlotte.
A few more weeks passed, and the weather grew warm. The natives held true to their agreement to leave us alone. The Professor said they were quite baffled by our desire to avoid contact, but they would respect it-especially since they were so grateful to us. Occasionally Wolverine or Jean would say they could sense them in the distance. But the natives never approached us again.
As the days grew longer and the sun shone brighter, we agreed to set up camp outside as we had before. One breezy morning, we pitched our tents and set up the campfire. We set up in a grassy area which was just a short walk from the sandy beach. Unlike the last time we'd used the tents, we really would need a campfire this time. Dinners were spent sitting in a circle around the fire, talking, laughing and eating.
"Shall we keep the same groups as we had before?" Storm asked, when it came time to ask who would room with who. A chorus of "Sure's" and "Why not's" was the answer.
I got an interesting thought about our rooming groups. We had established them on a spur of the moment, but they seemed to be centered around who was having sex and who was not-and who therefore needed to be separated. Both the couples were together as they should be. As for the remaining 7 adults, all of whom now were in a period of prolonged celibacy, we were grouped in a way that none of us would be rooming with someone we might be attracted to. Four straight guys shared one tent, and two straight females and me-the gay guy-had the other. No risk of undressing in front of someone you might be attracted to.
I might be reading too much into this, but I think the lack of sex was really getting to some members of the team. Now that we were back in the tents and spending more and more of our days outside, you could once again hear the sounds of lovemaking during the night. (Especially from Rogue and Gambit…..Jean and Cyke somehow manage to be more quiet but you can still hear them.) Those of us who weren't "getting any" were awfully testy at times.
Speaking of being testy, Wolverine often was in a foul mood as is usual for him. But I really gotta give the guy credit. I mean, he spends day in and day out around the woman he loves, and her husband and their baby. It would drive a lesser man crazy. I think all things considered, he handled it pretty well.
Oh, we also did hear Charlotte wake up in the middle of the night and cry too. Jean and Scott often took her back into the ship when she did this to give the rest of us some peace and quiet, though I honestly didn't mind the baby crying too much. Sometimes they managed to quiet the baby right away. But you would usually hear the couple getting up, flashlights and baby blankets in hand, and heading for the ship together with the screaming baby.
Aurora now was getting to the point where she could sleep through the night. When she didn't, Jubilee either quieted her by feeding her or she took the girl back to the ship. It didn't bother me either when she cried, even though we were in the very same tent. I loved Rory like she was my own niece. I loved to hold her on my lap and play with her. Wolverine had carved from wood a few baby toys and rattles for both of the children. He used wood from twigs and branches that had fallen off trees; he did not, of course, cut down any trees himself. I must say Wolverine had done a darn fine job with his handiwork too.
So basically our days were spent with the engineering team working away (can I say again how glad I am that I was not picked for that one!), and all of us taking walks along the beach or in the forest. We set up our volleyball net again, and I played regularly though I still cannot serve to save my life. Everyone was just really patient about it. When it was my turn to serve, another of my teammates would do it, and the opposing team didn't mind. Gambit and Wolverine each, at separate times, gave me one-on-one lessons on serving. It helped a little. It was nice of them to do that.
The two babies also provided us our entertainment, with everyone cooing and fussing over them. We held a ceremony to welcome Charlotte, similar to the one we had for Aurora (except it was more Christian-oriented rather than pagan.) Jean, Scott and the Professor looked about as happy as I'd ever seen them.
We also spent some of our time during the weeks using the Danger Room as usual. I was delighted that Jubilee had resumed training! Storm and I had asked her before to consider training again, but I guess it was whatever Wolverine said to her that did the trick. I knew the two of them had a special bond. Anyway, Jubilee was soon back up to her old level of proficiency. I fleetingly thought back to those terrible days when she had been shut off to us mentally. Part of me had feared she would never get better. How wrong I was on that. She's one tough cookie, and I had to admire that.
At long last, the weather warmed up enough that we could swim in the ocean. The bathing suits were brought back out, and we spent half the day frolicking in the water. We had to be a little more careful since we were in an ocean rather than the small, secluded lake we had before. A few of the fish looked menacing. But we greatly enjoyed swimming outside again.
One day, Rogue and Gambit invited Iceman along on a picnic they planned for lunch. Bobby was surprised at the invitation since the couple frequently kept to themselves. He observed them often just sitting and talking with each other, looking deep into each other's eyes. Their love for each other was nearly palpable to everyone else. Bobby regretted the fact that Gambit no longer spent as much time with him as he used to, and jumped at the chance to join them that sunny day.
"Sure, I'll join you for lunch," Bobby said. "I'd love to. Thanks for asking me."
"We asked a few others, Sugar," Rogue said. "`Seems everyone's either swimming or not up for a walk right now."
"I'm kinda all swum out. At least for today," Bobby said.
"Us too." Gambit added. "But today too beautiful to waste, non?"
They packed their lunch, grabbed a communicator, and started walking. The X-men usually avoided the forest, as they knew several dangerous animals made it their home. However, walking between the beach and forest, they knew they would soon arrive at a grassy area.
"Lovely," Bobby said when they reached the place. The grass was cool under their feet. Several trees provided shade, though the sun was not overbearing. A gentle breeze wafted by on occasion.
"Gambit really use' to bein' on vacation now," the Cajun said, as he lay down on his back. He'd just finished his sandwich.
"Me too," Bobby said. "I almost wouldn't mind if we never went back."
"Mutant haters, crowds, pollution, violence-what's not to hate about earth?" Rogue said. "This place suits me just fine."
"Me too, chere," Gambit said, reaching a hand towards Rogue's thigh. "'Specially since you here, amor."'
Bobby observed out of the corner of his eyes and cleared his throat. "I—uh-assume you didn't ask me along on this picnic if you two planned to get, ahem, intimate."
Rogue smiled, picking up Gambit's hand and returning it to him. "Nah, Gambit and I are gonna save that for tonight. Right, sugar?"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Bobby said wryly.
"Poor Bobby," Rogue mused. "No boyfriend here for you to spend your nights with."
"You so good at replicating things, you need to replicate yourself a boyfriend, mes amis." Gambit commented.
"If only," Bobby mused.
"Hey, Drake," Rogue began, changing the topic, "wouldja tell us a bit about your early years in the X-men?"
"Yeah," Gambit said, sitting up. "Gambit would love to hear that."
"We hear stuff about the early years of the X-men before we joined," Rogue said, "but it's always Cyke's or Jean's or Beast's version. I'd love to hear somethin' from what you experienced, sugar."
Bobby groaned. "A lot of it is bad. That was a sucky time of life for me. It really was."
"Aw, c'mon, aren't there any tales of how you saved the day?"
Bobby snorted. "Far from it." He silently added that there *were* tales of how he almost betrayed the entire team to Mystique.
His mind flashed back to one of the darkest periods of his life. All the feelings of self-hatred and guilt returned as his mind replayed the events. Bobby had been in the X-men for a couple of years, his performance steadily declining along with his self-confidence. He could no longer be counted on to take part in a mission without jeopardizing his own—or his teammates'-lives. He was a 20 year old closet case, terrified that anyone might discover his "shameful" secret.
Except his secret had been found out. Mystique had taken to spying on the X-men whenever they left the mansion. Bobby never had a clue that he was being followed or that his email was being intercepted and saved.
One afternoon he'd been downtown, running several errands. He stopped at a deli for lunch when a woman confronted him. She knew his name and that he was a mutant. Bobby fought to remain calm. "Who are you?" he asked her.
The woman changed her shape before his eyes, her hair now turning red and her skin blue. None of the businesspeople, speedily gobbling down their sandwiches, even turned their heads to look. A few of the deli's patrons gave the woman a second glance, but most were so accustomed to strange happenings with all the "freakin' mutants" running around that this incident hardly merited a stare.
"Mystique," Bobby stated.
"At your service, Bobby," she said flatly, her flinty eyes staring straight through the young man, drilling into him.
"What do you want?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady and not betray his fear. He reminded himself that he could always change into Iceman and freeze her, if need be. Of course his recent lack of success on missions was not bolstering his confidence that he'd be able to defeat the shapeshifter if it came to a fight.
Mystique answered the X-man's question. She wanted quite a bit, actually. She wanted a copy of the layout of the mansion and detailed schematics of the Danger Room and the Blackbird.
"You're crazy," Bobby finally said when she was done listing her demands. "Give me one good reason why I should hand that stuff over to you." Every fiber in his body was prepared to change into Iceman, he mentally and physically got ready to attack in case she pulled something.
"I do have one good reason," Mystique said, her cold voice betraying no emotion. "In fact, I have many." She paused. "How would you like your teammates to know that you're a -what's the term people use nowadays?-in my day we called it a queer. A homosexual, a gay man." She said the last few words with undisguised revulsion in her voice. The shapeshifter enjoyed watching the color drain out of Bobby's face as he squirmed.
Any attempt at keeping his cool was thrown to the wind for Iceman. "How—how do you know that?" he stammered.
Mystique laughed. "Dear boy, you've been followed for months. Your email has been intercepted and copied. I have videotapes of you entering and leaving that lovely bar-what's it called?-Vortex? A bar that only caters to….homosexual clientele. And I have copies of all those letters you emailed to Rick, and the ones you sent to and received from Bill." She pulled from her purse several papers and handed them to Bobby.
Bobby's mouth fell open as he took the papers from Mystique. Copies of the emails he had sent to and received from various boyfriends. He had no idea he'd been under surveillance for months. He began to panic.
"Those are just copies of my copies," Mystique stated flatly. "I wonder what your dear Professor and the others would say if they received copies of this in the mail or if copies of these were emailed to them. And what would they say if they were to view tapes of you swarming in and out of queer bars. I bet Mr. Worthington and Mr. Summers would be particularly disgusted. Well, then I can't imagine that the others would be pleased either. Your future with the X-men would be over." Mystique looked at Bobby and gauged his reaction. The papers he held were shaking, and his eyes and now-paled skin left no doubt as to his fear.
"Cat got your tongue?" she asked. "Let me help you out. As I see it, you have two choices. Give me the information I'm requesting or get kicked out of the X-men in disgrace. Well, either way you're getting kicked out, but if you give me what I'm asking for, it will be much less embarrassing for you."
Mystique left Bobby sitting in the deli, pondering his future. She told him to meet her at the same place in 24 hours, or she would send the incriminating evidence to the X-men right away.
Bobby tried to focus on the road as he drove back to the mansion. His gut told him to find a cliff and drive off it, and he seriously considered crashing the vehicle into a semi. Somehow he reached the mansion in one piece. As soon as he pulled into the garage and stopped the car, he pulled the car back out. He knew what he needed to do, and he drove to the drug store.
There was no way out of this one. There was nothing he could do. A more analytical or more confident mind would have realized he had options, would have realized that his fears were unfounded. But Bobby was a man who hated himself with a passion.
Bobby returned from the drug store and reached his room. Walking into the small bathroom, he obtained a glass of water. He then unscrewed the cap to the bottle of sleeping pills.
"Bobby? May I enter your room?" The Professor's voice was heard through the door.
Bobby panicked. How much did the Professor know? Did he sense that Bobby had seriously considered betraying the X-men to one of their worst foes? Bobby quickly crammed the bottle of pills under the bed covers. "Come in," he called.
The Professor entered Bobby's unkempt room. At first Bobby kept his eyes low and didn't meet the Professor's. Charles Xavier saved Bobby's life that day. He convinced Bobby to allow him to enter his mind. Bobby was so depressed at that point that the thought of him doing so no longer mortified him. The Professor agreed to intercept anything Mystique might send to the mansion. Bobby agreed that a break from the X-men was probably in order until he could deal with depression.
Not long afterwards, Hank was on the phone with several different therapists, interviewing them. Dissatisfied, he headed for New York City to a local gay bookstore where he asked for a referral. A gay and lesbian hotline gave him the names and numbers of several therapists, professionals who would assist someone in acceptance and confidence.
"I tink we lost him, chere," Gambit said. "Bobby? Still wit us?"
"Huh? Oh," Bobby shook his head. "I was in the middle of a long flashback."
"Care to tell us `bout it?" Rogue asked.
Bobby took a deep breath. These people were his friends. They could be trusted. He nodded and said, "Yes, I would like to. You asked for tales of when I saved the day. I don't have any of those, but I can tell you how the Professor and Hank saved my life once." He took a deep breath and began to share his experience with Rogue and Gambit.
Storm had reached a decision. She had been mulling over it for quite some time, praying to the Goddess for advice….and she finally resolved what she planned to do. Now all she had to do was carry it out. To ask. She took a deep breath, trying to chase the butterflies out of her stomach. She felt like a school girl.
That afternoon, she eyed Wolverine off in the distance. He was sitting on a log around the campfire, carving out a toy for the babies. Instead of wearing his uniform, he had on a pair of cut offs. The warm day called for nothing more; many of the men walked around shirtless. Wolverine's broad chest was bare, his rippling muscles on display.
Storm had been taking a swim, enjoying the luxurious feel of the cool water. She emerged from the water, clad in her bathing suit. Feeling the warm sun blanketing her, she wrung out her dripping hair. Storm approached him slowly but purposefully.
"Hello, Logan," she said as she stood before him.
"Hi, Storm," he said. "You have a nice swim?"
"It was wonderful. As always." She took a deep breath. "Logan, might I have a word with you?" she looked around. Three of their teammates were within earshot. "In private?"
"Sure," he said, setting the toy and knife down. He followed Storm as she walked towards the forest.
As they walked and reached a comfortable distance from the others, Storm's pulse beat much faster than normal. `What is the worst thing that could happen?' she reminded herself. `Just a bit of embarrassment and feeling foolish. I have survived far worse.'
"What's on your mind, darlin?" Wolverine asked, when they stopped walking. They were now secluded, inside the forest. They faced each other.
"Logan, I wish to ask you something," Storm began. She took a deep breath and met his gaze. "Would you have any interest in making love with me?"
Storm had to ask him. For over a year now, she had had no close contact with any adult human beings other than the same 10. She was not attracted to any of the other women. Two of the men were taken, and one was gay. That left 4 others. Sex with Beast or the Professor was beyond her imagination. And as for Colossus? He had been Shadowcat's boyfriend for quite some time, so many years ago. Shadowcat had confided to the other women that Peter's lovemaking left a lot to be desired.
However, the 10th of her fellow castaways had quite a different reputation.
At first, Wolverine thought he had misheard her. But his senses told him what he first heard was true. He'd been able to smell her attraction to him for some time now. He'd found it arousing but he was not going to make the first move himself. Not after what she had been through, and not given how long they had been friends.
It had been so long since he'd had a woman. Just hearing Storm's proposal made all of his senses come alive with wanting-the desire to see her beautiful body open to him, feel a woman's soft skin under his rough skin, to smell and taste a woman, to hear her cries of pleasure. An image of himself in between Storm's long, long legs flashed through his mind.
Several seconds passed before he could answer. His delay in responding was not due to uncertainly about what he wanted, but rather to shock that she actually asked him. Even though he had long sensed her desire for him, he also had thought that she would never ask. For every second that passed, Storm felt more and more foolish. Unable to sense his reaction, the very calm and centered woman began to panic. `Apparently I *have* indeed made a fool of myself,' she thought. `Such is life. I will survive this embarrassment. I-' Her thoughts were interrupted.
"Yes," Wolverine said, looking into her eyes.
Storm breathed in sharply and smiled. "Yes?" she asked, just to be sure she hadn't misheard him.
"Yes," he said again, returning her smile and looking at her with a fire in his eyes that she had not seen before.
"Wonderful! I am very glad to hear that." Then the logical, business-like side of Storm took over. "I think that we have a strong friendship and this will not disrupt it. Of course, we could always try it and if it does not work out, then I am sure our friendship will continue. And I do not think we need to worry about birth control. You see, I do not think that I can conceive. When I was younger, I never became pregnant, despite that I had many chances to and I did not take precautions. Of course, if you would like, to be certain we could use some of the condoms from the supply room. That is, if Rogue and Gambit haven't depleted the supplies. And we-"
Storm was cut off when Wolverine stepped forward and covered her lips with his own. His kissing took her breath away. "How about right now?" Wolverine asked, panting as he broke the kiss off.
Storm's reply was to wrap her arms about Wolverine and kiss him with fervor. It was several hours before they emerged from the forest.
One day, the four female X-men decided to head for the forest and hold their healing ceremony there. Their meetings were becoming less and less frequent but they still held them. With Jubilee having left Aurora in the care of others, they made their way through the forest. Twigs cracked under their feet and the trees grew more dense. Strange sounds of alien birds calling in the distance could be heard. Out of the corners of their eyes, they saw small animals move swiftly away from the noisy humans.
Jean carried Charlotte in one of the baby carriers. The baby slept soundly. The four women settled in a small area that was not anywhere near any of the natives' villages and then sat in a circle.
"Well, I can't say I miss the sage burning," Rogue said.
Jean smiled at her, "Haven't we beat this dead horse enough?"
"I must insist that we invoke the Goddess," Storm said, sounding serious, though smiling. "We have no sage and no candles-only a lantern. We truly are losing any ability to claim this is a ceremony without doing so." Storm went ahead and invoked several different forms of the Goddess. Jean and Rogue, both raised Christian, tolerated Storm's pagan trappings, though they both found it a bit unusual. Jubilee was fascinated.
"Okay, I gotta start out with somethin'," Rogue began, soon after Storm had finished. "Um, this is kinda hard to talk about, but I have been dying to ask y'all about this." She paused, almost wishing she hadn't taken the bull by the horns like this. "Well, I really do love sex," she began.
"We've heard," Jean said, smiling. The women giggled. Rogue and Gambit never attempted to keep it quiet, and the whole team had pretty much just gotten used to hearing Rogue's nightly screams, encouraging Remy in his efforts.
Rogue returned their smiles, "So, um, I really do love it and all, completely. But…." She paused. Yikes, this was going to be harder to say than she thought. "But do y'all ever, say now and then, get a flashback to….what happened with the soldiers? You know, like getting a flashback during lovemaking?"
Jean returned Rogue's gaze. "Have you?"
"Hey, I asked you first!" It came out a bit harsher than Rogue had intended, and she regretted it. She then regretted even asking. Jean was going to say that everything was picture-perfect, of course. Was there ever any doubt?
"Yes," Jean admitted. "It hasn't happened a lot, but once or twice."
"It's happened to me a few times too," Rogue said. "Like, I'm with Remy but then all of a sudden….something reminds me of what, what happened and I'm back with the soldiers. And it's not Remy's fault or nothin'. But it really shakes me up."
"Our minds do things like that," Jean said. "Because what we lived through was so awful and so intense, it is embedded in our minds and images are going to pop out at times. All we can do is hope that this will cease after time. And know that our men love us very much and are understanding."
"I felt bad when it happened,'' Rogue admitted quietly. "I got all rigid and afraid. Remy was so afraid he'd done something wrong."
"Then what happened?"
"Well, we stopped what we were doin' and he just held me for a while. I cried. It actually felt good to just lay there and be rocked like a baby. It felt scary too though. I felt so much all at once."
Jean nodded. Rogue then looked at Storm and asked, "What about you, Storm? Have you experienced something like that with Wolverine yet?"
Jubilee looked quizzically at Rogue, wondering what she'd meant.
"Ooops,' Rogue said. "Uh-are you and Wolverine trying to keep it a secret?" Rogue had observed Storm and Wolverine head off to the forest together. They had been doing so quite frequently during the last two days, and Rogue was certainly not the only person to notice.
Jubilee opened her mouth as Storm smiled. "It's okay, Rogue," Storm said. "Wolverine and I are not trying to advertise it, but we're not hiding anything either." Storm looked at Jubilee. She did not need Jean's powers to know that her young mentee had been unaware of this. "Logan and I have become lovers."
Jubilee nodded mutely. Jean felt first surprise and then jealousy coming off Jubilee, so much so that it shocked the telepath. Jubilee had been so wrapped up in swimming and playing with Aurora that she hadn't noticed Storm and Wolverine's trips to the forest.
"But to answer your question, Rogue," Storm said, "I have not yet had any flashbacks during sex. I know it might be possible, though. We're only human. Sometimes our brains do nasty things to us." Storm never shared her occasional nightmares with the other women. She couldn't explain why she did not do so. She loved and trusted all of them. `But it's better they don't see that side,' she told herself. 'I am their leader, after all.'
Rogue nodded. "You're right. And these flashbacks haven't happened too much, thank goodness. But I also gotta say that I love sex. It is so incredibly amazin`!"
Storm smiled. "I must agree."
Rogue looked at Storm. You didn't often see Storm grinning like a school girl. Rogue smiled and got a devilish look in her eyes. "Okay, I'm gonna ask you, Storm and you just tell me if I'm bein too nosy….Is he good?"
Storm's smile widened. "It is not appropriate to gossip, of course. But, as always, what the four of us say here, stays here. So I will say only that," she paused and then said slowly, "Wolverine is *wonderful*." Storm herself had been surprised at how well they'd clicked. And she'd been having trouble keeping her mind on the workings of the engines for 6 hours a day. As soon as she came out of her meetings, she sought him out, and he wanted her. Wolverine was very, very good. He could be gentle and tender, when she wanted it-and when she wanted him to be more aggressive and animalistic, he could be that way too. He was eager to please and his mutant healing factor could not come in any handier.
Jean couldn't stop herself, but she entered Storm's mind and saw all the exciting images that were swimming through it right now. `Jean, stop it right now,' she told herself. `You have everything you need.' She wanted to argue with herself that she was merely being curious, but she knew there was just a bit more to it than that.
When Jean had first sensed Storm and Wolverine's liaison though, her main reaction had been relief. Let it take Wolverine's mind off his interest in Jean, and his jealousy over the bond that she and Scott, and now their baby, had. It was much better this way.
Rogue then went on to thank the other women for encouraging her to get back with Gambit. "I'm happier than I ever been in my whole life," she said. "I think bein touched is the most incredible feeling, and I really love it."
Jubilee crossed her arms. She spoke for the first time at their meeting. "I'm jealous!" Her three teammates turned to her. "Of all of you! I want someone too. I want to experience what you're talking about."
"Jubilee," Jean began, softly.
"What!" Jubilee flung her arms, exasperated. "I want a boyfriend too! I don't have anyone. And goddamn Bobby Drake! Why the hell does he have to be gay? If he was straight then I wouldn't have this problem. It's not fair!"
"Jubilee, I'm sure Bobby doesn't have any more say over that than we have over being mutants," Storm said.
"Don't take it out on him," Jean added. "He's been such a good friend to you. To all of us."
"I know," she said, glumly. "But look at us. At the rate we're going, we're not getting out of here anytime soon. And there's no one available for me."
"What about Colossus?" Rogue asked. "Maybe…um, his technique has improved and all." This had been discussed at length among the women during previous "girls' nights out" back at the mansion, back before the FOH attack. Shadowcat had been part of the group, of course, and had mentioned that her ex-boyfriend was not exactly amazing in bed. Rogue wasn't saying anything that the others had not already heard first-hand from Kitty.
"I don't know, Rogue," Storm said. "From what Shadowcat said, I do not think he would be good for your first time, Jubilee," she said, looking at the young woman.
"I know. I remember what Kitty said," Jubilee said.
"Though it *is* always possible he's improved," Storm added.
"I'm not really attracted to him, though," Jubilee said.
Rogue shrugged. "He does paint some nice paintings though," she said. Peter had been expanding his interest in painting and drawing, and was frequently availing himself of the supplies in the storage room. One of his best works hung in the rec room, It was a depiction of the waterfall not far from the X-men's first campsite on the planet, where Bobby and Jubilee had lunch together once.
Jean smiled, "But wait, we're all acting like we're going to be here forever. Scott said you guys have been making progress with the engines."
"Oh, we have," Storm said. "I think we can be off this planet in a few months. But-"
"But then what?" Jubilee asked. "So we travel back to earth. I am looking forward to finding out what's been going on there, but I really doubt that things have gotten any better for mutants. I'd be shocked if we're all not still wanted dead or alive for killing the soldiers. So we probably are not going to be able to return. I'm never going to see another man other than the ones we have here!" she exclaimed.
Storm started to console Jubilee, telling her that one day she would have someone of her own, when she saw something out of the corner of her eye.
"What is it?" Jean asked, observing Storm tense up.
"I believe we are not alone," Storm said. "Did you see-"
Suddenly, a large animal charged at the women. In the split second that she saw it, to Jubilee it loosely resembled a bear. A large one. The X-men had only a split second to react. Rogue saw the animal heading towards Jean, and she quickly scooped Jean and the baby up in her arms, and flew upwards. Jubilee and Storm each stood up, Storm preparing to summon winds to push the animal away and Jubilee preparing to flash lights at it. However in the blink of an eye, the animal pounced on Jubilee.
As the winds summoned by Storm arose, Rogue deposited Jean and the baby in a tree before darting down towards the animal and Jubilee. She used her strength to pry the beast off of Jubilee. The winds then carried it away.
I was so freaked out when I saw what had happened. I think over the past few months, we'd all gone into the forest so many times without incident, we all just got careless. I later heard that Jubilee had been flown to the ship by Storm as soon as they got the bear (or whatever it was) away from them.
Jubilee was going to be alright, thank goodness. The animal's claws scratched her chest and shoulders. She had one gash that was pretty deep, but the others were not. Hank worked his magic on her in sick bay. He said she'd likely have scars, but otherwise would be alright.
"You gotta take better care of yourself, kid," I teased, sitting next to her in sick bay and holding her hand. I was one of a steady stream of visitors she had.
"Yeah, who knew I'd need healing from the healing ceremony!" she joked. I smiled. Last time Jubilee had an extended stay in sick bay, her mood had been quite different. I was reminded of that and then so glad to see her old spunk hadn't gone anywhere.
Colossus and I were charged with setting up sensors around the camp so that we'd know if any large animals were approaching or even in the area. We spent the rest of the day working on that and were quiet pleased that we'd done a good job by day's end.
"It was so close," Jean mused, tracing one of Charlotte's hands. She marveled at the smooth, tiny fingers.
"Thank god the two of you are safe," Scott murmured. He and Jean were laying down on the floor of their tent, their baby in between them. They didn't want to wake the sleeping infant, but it was hard for either one of them to keep their hands off of her. She was so perfect, their little miracle.
"I wonder if we're getting too…soft," Jean whispered. "`Soft' isn't the right word, but you know what I mean. We've let our guard down. I think all of us have, and that's why we were caught off-guard in the forest."
"I think it's only natural that the group has relaxed like this. We've spent the last 5 or 6 months on this planet."
"And as much as we might train in the Danger Room, it's not the same thing. Up until now, we've spent the last 15 years battling everyone from the Sentinels to Magneto to FOH. We had no rest for all those years. But we're so removed from that now."
"We spent so much of our lives fighting," Scott said. "You and I, my love, are very peaceful people. We can't help but to be enjoying life here." He paused, "Our lives back on earth almost feel like a dream."
"It feels that way to me, too, Scott."
Scott's eyes looked back down at Charlotte. Her red hair was gone now. He wondered what color hair would replace it. Her eyes were bright blue. Would someday lasers shoot uncontrollably out of them? Would she be forced into wearing a visor? What would her mutation look like? Hank had recently performed a test on her, confirming that she was, indeed, a mutant. No surprise there.
Scott shook his head. "We have so much more to lose now," he said quietly. "If life for mutants on earth is even worse now…..if we're forced into fighting our enemies like we used to…." His voice trailed off.
"I know," Jean said. "We've got her now," she said, looking down at Charlotte. "She needs us. Risking our lives in combat is suddenly….much scarier than it ever has been."
"She could even be taken from us someday…used as blackmail."
"Can you imagine if Sinister ever got his hands on her?" Jean shook her head. "Knowing his luck, he's survived the Friends of Humanity."
Hearing the words "Friends of Humanity" brought a chill down Scott's spine, and his thoughts went to a place he wished they hadn't.
/I know,/ Jean's thoughts entered Scott's. /If *they* ever got their hands on her…./
They didn't continue their discussion at that point. Charlotte woke up soon afterwards, and Jean nursed her baby.
Later that evening, the sounds of lovemaking could be heard throughout the camp, for anyone who was listening. Scott and Jean kissed deeply, his mouth covering hers as he thrust deep inside her. Jean's breasts spurted breast milk, which Scott would later lap up. Rogue and Gambit, meanwhile, were experiencing their own ecstasy. They lay side by side, facing each other but head to toe. She was licking him up and down, letting him thrust inside her mouth as his expert fingers reached around and rubbed her in exactly the right way. She later mounted him, riding him to their mutual peak. And as for Storm and Wolverine, they had found their rhythm as partners quickly. That evening they lay together in the forest. They were still within the bounds of the area that was now protected by sensors. Neither was willing to give up making love outdoors, surrounded by the trees, the fresh air, the birds flying overhead. Storm was on her back with Wolverine in between her legs, using his lips and tongue on her, delighting in her womanly taste and scent. Later, she perched on her hands and knees and he entered her from behind, driving them both to numerous, intense climaxes.
Afterwards, each couple cuddled up together. All of them were feeling pleasure and contentment in each fiber of their bodies, from their heads to their toes.
Jubilee, Hank and I were laying together on the beach after a good swim one day. (Colossus had agreed to supervise Aurora, as he worked on a painting back at the campsite.) The three of us stretched out on a blanket. Replicated sunglasses protected us from the glare of the sun overhead, as Hank fished a seaweed-like substance out of his fur.
"Bobby, I think that either you or I is gonna be spending a lot of time brushing out Hank later on today," Jubilee said. A quick glance at our adored friend revealed copious amounts of sand on his coat. Hank smiled.
"I dunno, Jube," I said, shaking my head. "How is it that he gets so much sand on his fur? Last I remember we were swimming. Then we decide to lay down here. I didn't see Hank * crawling* to the blanket, yet he's got sand everywhere except on his feet. How do you do it, Hank? Did you roll around in sand while we weren't looking?"
"I do not know, Bobby. But the sand is very tenacious. If either of you want to be so kind as to provide me assistance later on, I would appreciate it."
"Anytime!" Jubilee said. "Do you want to do it now?"
"No, my friend. The engineering team is meeting again in 2 hours and I want to lay down here and enjoy this, " Hank said.
"So how's it going?" I asked. "The engineering work?"
"We are making progress. We have a good sense of what needs to be done and we are doing it. It simply is very slow-going work."
"Well, I think you guys are right to go about it slowly," Jubilee said. "You don't want to be making a mistake."
"Exactly."
"Okay, I gotta gossip now," Jubilee said, abruptly changing the direction of the conversation towards more interesting topics. Well, more interesting for me anyway. Hank frowned. Gossip remained one of my vices, and one of Jubilee's too. "So what is the deal with Storm and Wolverine?"
"I wonder about that myself," I said. By now, everyone knew. Something like this could not be kept quiet for more than a few days.
"Are they like, in love? Or are they doing it just cause they're horny?"
I shrugged. "I gotta think that they're not exactly in love. I mean, they've had years to fall in love if that was ever going to happen. So maybe they're doing it more for a relieving-a-physical-need type thing."
"Well, did you notice how often they're going at it? I saw them slip off into that forest twice yesterday, and that was just during the day."
"Yeah, Storm did return to our tent really late last night," I added.
"You were up at that hour?"
I nodded
"I guess it's working out nicely for them," Jubilee said.
"Why Jubilee," I began, grinning, "you almost sound jealous."
"Shut up, Bobby."
"Well, are you?"
"Shut up, Bobby!"
I looked at Hank. "I bet you're disgusted with the turn our conversation has taken," I said to him.
"`Disgusted' is a little strong," Hank said, "However, I will not participate in gossip."
"You will *listen*, though," I said to him, smiling.
Hank didn't reply except to return my smile. "I will say that I am only human and a break from reading about and working on engines is a healthy thing. Please, go on and do not worry about what I'm thinking. Just do not be offended if I decline to join in."
"Cool." I turned back towards Jubilee. "You can't exactly blame them, Jubilee," I said. "Making love can be a really incredible thing, and it is hard to go for so long without it. It's been too long for me. If another gay guy were to somehow magically appear, I think at this point I'd pounce on him!"
Jubilee laughed at the thought of me doing so. She then turned serious. "Can I ask you, Bobby….have you ever done it with a woman?" She paused, "Oh, sorry if that was too personal and all. You can just tell me to shut up."
"I don't mind answering. I did have a girlfriend. I had a few, actually. In fact, Hank remembers, I'm sure, that I dated a fellow X-man named Lorna for a while during my first life with the X-men. Her code name was Polaris." I paused, "But, you see, I'm not proud of what I did. It was wrong of me."
"What was wrong?"
"I wasn't honest with her. I mean, I knew I was gay. I've known ever since I was like 12 or 13. I don't know what I was thinking when I dated Lorna. I was just so mixed up back then….I did it partly hoping that maybe I wasn't really gay. But I knew I was. I did really like Lorna, though. I liked her company, and she liked mine." I paused. "But I did it mostly for cover. So no one would suspect the truth about me." I looked at Jubilee. "See, it was really terrible of me to use another person like that. I feel awful about it, and if I ever saw her today, I would apologize."
"But so….you and Lorna were, you know, lovers? I mean, so like you could do it with a woman?"
I smiled. "Well, yeah. But I didn't really enjoy it too much. It was like a chore. I think I'd rather clean the garage or iron clothes than have sex with a woman again." I looked over at Hank and he stifled a laugh at my last comment. "No offense," I quickly added at Jubilee. "It just isn't my thing, nothing against women though."
I continued, "And Lorna didn't like it either because I was terrible at it. Horrible." I smiled. "Let's just say that Lorna never woke up other people in the middle of the night by screaming-" I switched to a Southern accent, "-YES, BOBBY, MORE MORE MORE, YES YES YES, BOBBY OH MY GOD BOBBY."
Jubilee and I broke out in laughter at my imitation of Rogue. Apparently it was quite good - Hank even laughed. Colossus was working not too far from us, and he looked over In our direction, probably wondering what was going on.
The engineering team repaired the engines. I must say their timing was excellent. We spent a few more months on the planet so we were able to enjoy the summer. We all spent many days laying on the beach, swimming, and playing volleyball. We replicated a frisbee and it's amazing how much fun we got out of that disk. I'd say just around the time it all started to get a bit tedious, the Professor told us one day at lunch that they were close to being finished. The team redoubled their efforts, and only a couple weeks passed before our engines and cloaking device were repaired.
Even though spending all day at the beach was getting a bit tedious, we still had other things to do to entertain ourselves. Hank and Jean both wrote a lot of poetry, which they would read to us after dinner as we all sat around the campfire or in the rec room. (Sometimes we all slept outside; however, when it got too hot, many of us preferred the air conditioned ship.) Colossus was doing a lot of painting. His favorites were landscapes-nature scenes. His works began to adorn the rec room, and they were all quite good. And I was so pleased to see the rec room looking more festive. Wolverine had a new hobby too-sculpture. He replicated the materials he needed and worked away at it. He made a nice likeness of Storm's head and shoulders. The man was good at working with his hands. (Of course, in my fantasies, his hands are on me, not Storm. : )
Oh, and I forgot to mention that the vegetables I'd begun growing had been producing food for several months now. Most of them were kinda dinky, but everyone told me they were delicious. They really were more flavorful than the food from the replicators. Jubilee and I spent a lot of time keeping up the garden, planting and tending to more vegetables.
But the best entertainment probably came from watching the babies develop. We all saw Aurora as she progressed to being able to sit up and turn over.
In fact, a good way to track the passage of time was by watching Aurora and Charlotte progress. Rory was 6 months old (and Charlotte nearly 3 months) when we were ready for take off. So we'd spent a total of 7 months on the planet, or 8 if you count the one month we spent on "vacation", on the other continent, before we'd crashed. So if Aurora was 6 months old, then a total of one year and three months had passed since the Friends of Humanity abducted us.
It had all passed too quickly for me. Except for the days we spent as prisoners, these were definitely the best months of my life up till this point.
Our take-off was smooth and uneventful. The magnetic field storms were not set to start up again for 5 weeks, so we knew we were safe. And by the time we left, I think everyone-including Wolverine-was ready to go.
"Goodbye, planet," Jean said wistfully, looking out one of the windows in engineering soon after we took off.
I silently hoped that the kind natives we met would stay well. I looked over Jean's shoulder and watched the planet grow smaller and smaller. It was a blue and green planet, resembling earth in many ways. What a beautiful place it had been.
One morning, Rogue and Gambit were slowly waking up together. As usual, most of the rest of the team was in the process of eating breakfast or already finished. Rogue and Gambit could never be called early birds. Each had been awake for a while but were simply enjoying taking their time to rise from bed.
Gambit's arms were wrapped around his girlfriend. "Dis gonna take some gettin' used to, chere," Gambit murmured. He and Rogue were both clad in sweatpants and sweatshirts. All of the dilithium-saving actions were fully in place on board the ship, and the cold temperature of the vessel did not allow one to sleep unclothed-especially not if one hailed from an area with warm temperatures, as both Rogue and Gambit did.
"What is?" Rogue asked.
"We can't go take a walk outside anymore. We back in space now."
"Oh yeah. Tomorrow-I mean-today will only be our first *full* day back in space."
"Gambit's use' to goin outside an takin a walk after we wake up in de morning with you, chere. And Gambit use' to nice warm weather, not this freezin' cold ship."
"We'll get used to this again."
"Course we get use' to dis," Gambit said. "As long as we have each other, Gambit don't care where we are or how cold it get on the ship." He nuzzled his face in her unruly hair, breathing in her scent. "You so beautiful, chere. You the most beautiful woman dat Gambit ever touch."
"Wow, Remy, that's quite a statement, given how many women I must've beaten out for that honor," Rogue chuckled. "And I don't *want* to know how many there were before me!"
Gambit was glad. He didn't really know how many there had been before Rogue. "Dey don't matter no more. I never been in love with anyone like I love you."
"You're my first lover, Remy. My first love and my first lover."
"Remy is very honored to be your first, chere. Very, very honored."
Rogue turned to face him, to give him a kiss. Their lips met and they enjoyed a long kiss.
But both Rogue and Gambit forgot that she was not wearing a collar.
TO BE CONTINUED