Disclaimer: I don't own FFX-2 or its respective characters. So there. :P Square does.
A/N: You may have noticed that the end of one chapter and the beginning of another are connected by common words or phrases. In this chapter, it's a bit more noticeable than the others. Just letting you know, so you don't think I'm crazy or something. Anyway, this chapter is chock-full of disturbing stuff. Just a heads-up. Also contains mentions of crossdressing and has Gippal singing in it. (Fear not. He's not that bad at all.)
Thanks to: Icicle Goddess, JokaJoker (I don't even know what the main plot is at this point. XD), Jade Samurai, Wai-Aki (And what an eyeful it was! XD), Yuuka Yagami (You are! I read/reviewed your fic, but it cut my review off The rest of it said, "I heart your fic."), Cookie Cowgirl, and Hidama (Paine will be okay. Your fic makes me happy.).
Chapter Seven – Unmerited
Outwardly unperturbed, Rikku sat at the ship controls.
"Rikku… The speech is done." Gippal waved it in front of her face. "We put in some crap about ships. That okay?"
"Please don't distract me while I'm driving."
He reacted with a hiss. "Me-ow."
"Shut up, you meanie."
Though Gippal would never tell her so, he was hurt. They had been friends since childhood, and he already missed the good humor they usually shared. "Rikku, look." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "If this is about me shoving you away, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about how hard I push –"
"It's not that," Rikku interrupted crossly. "Don't you get it?"
"Oh, yeah," he mumbled. "I get that you're being selfish and don't care about my happiness at all."
"What?!" Rikku whirled around in her seat, scowling furiously. "That's not true! I –"
"Rikku!" Brother shrieked, hopping up and down frantically. "Watch where you're going!"
"Huh? Ahhh!" She fumbled with the controls, trying to regain power of the ship as it ducked and swerved.
"I knew you would be trouble, Gippal," Brother spat out. "You always were!"
Gippal smirked. "At least I don't have a hard-on for my cousin."
Brother let out an enraged cry and looked like he had to restrain himself from throttling Gippal.
"I thought you had no cousins," Rikku commented laughingly. "And he's adopted."
"Bummer." Gippal sighed. "Hey, Rikku?"
"Yeah?"
"Let's not fight, okay?" He spit on his palm and held it out. "Spit shake?"
"Okay…" she decided in a grudging tone. "Spit shake." Rikku spit on her hand and shook with Gippal.
Most found it revolting, but it was an old childhood tradition. Gippal and Rikku, both being very strong-willed, had had to use it a lot.
"And quit acting like I'm the one in need of forgiveness."
"What? It's all in your head! Gippal, you're crazy…" At his exasperated expression, she giggled.
--- Past:
Paine had fallen asleep. In her hands, there was an open book, which Gippal curiously glanced over. Guilt settled on him when he realized he was reading her journal, even more so when he cautiously snatched it away. His eye began to scan the page. It read:
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. It's not because they're both men – or boys. When Baralai looks at him, I can tell. I can tell it's real. It hurts me more than anything.
I don't want to be jealous, but I wonder what Gippal has that I don't, besides the obvious, of course. Is it really an issue of gender, or does it run deeper? It is true that I've never seen Baralai show much interest in girls.
When Nooj and I walked in, they were kissing and touching intimately. We were so shocked that we could only stand there. I don't know what we would have done if they had been further along.
I feel so betrayed. Gippal is like a brother to me, and Baralai… I've never cared for any man as much as I care for him. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say to him when he approached me about it, but he was the first to speak. He said that he was sorry and that he should have at least brought it up to me and asked Gippal about it, but he wasn't sure how I would react. Now I feel guilty, because it's like he knew I wouldn't be comfortable with it. We were all like family, and then this changes it…
I still haven't spoken with Gippal. I don't know where to begin. I don't think ignoring the whole thing like Nooj is doing will help, though he does seem to recognize that they're together. It's just that they were very…involved when we caught sight of them in the tent.
Gippal was about to turn the page, when a hand grasped his wrist. "Ah!" Startled, he dropped the journal.
"What…are…you doing?" Paine ground out. Her eyes were narrowed, teeth gritted. It was safe to say that she wasn't the most cheerful-looking of sorts.
Gippal searched his brain for a good excuse, but the only thing that came out was "Uh…reading?"
"What are you doing reading my journal?" Paine elaborated.
He ignored her question, because he didn't have a definite answer. Instead, he asked, "Paine, are you upset because you…have feelings for Baralai?"
"That's none of your business!" she snapped.
"It should be!" he refuted. "When you make a big deal about it, you make it my business!"
"You think just because you're having…relations with him, you have the right to know how I feel about him? You're wrong."
"I never said that. You're making things shitty between you and me, and they don't have to be," Gippal argued. "Although, I guess…I could have maybe been…a little more understanding." Great. Now he was starting to feel bad.
"…You still had no right to look at my journal," Paine insisted.
He blinked, at a dead end. She was correct. "I guess you're right. Is Nooj okay?"
"You gave him quite a shock," Paine answered quietly.
"You make it sound like he's incredibly elderly."
Paine shook her head. "He does give off that impression."
---
"Line up! Tent search!" a voice demanding obedience bellowed.
Gippal scrambled from his sitting position to a standing one and was about to perform a salute when he remembered something. "The drawings! Cred! (Shit!)"
"Gippal?" Baralai questioned, turning out of his rigid pose the least bit.
But Gippal was already in the tent, flipping through the pages of the sketchbook and trying to come across two very important ones. There they were. Baralai's weapon and his. He tore out the pages and folded them rapidly, stuffing them under his belt.
His teammates were already calling his name, and he had barely been gone half a minute. Gippal skidded out of the tent and was saluting properly in such a short amount of time that it seemed comical.
The commander and two assistants strode up to their tent, where the assistants proceeded to rummage through their belongings. No one was permitted to be "at ease." At last, everything found to be unacceptable was brought out.
The first item, which Gippal recognized as Paine's journal, was given to the commander.
"There is to be no record of any activity in this training area whatsoever. Everything is to remain confidential." He sounded stern, not to be disputed, but Gippal noticed Paine's mouth opening in silent protest.
The second object was Gippal's sketchbook, like he had predicted. "There are drawings of machina in here…" The commander shook his head. "These are not approved. They are counted as hostile. Who is responsible? You have permission to speak."
"I did, sir," Gippal admitted. He studied the man's face, waiting for his inevitable punishment.
"I'm terribly surprised," he stated dryly. "A week of getting the water supply. And you –" He pointed to Baralai. "Take off your coat."
Baralai's face said he was inquisitive, but he obeyed, shrugging off his coat and handing it over. The commander watched as the contents were dumped, littering the ground with: gil, a dried rose, numerous photographs, various pens, and odd scraps of paper. Heaving a sigh, the commander made to leave. He evidently didn't think the bits of paper would yield any signs of wrongdoing, so they left, journeying on to the next tent.
"Here's one to add to the pile." Gippal dug out the drawings and gave the design meant for Baralai to him.
"Thank you…" Baralai smiled in that astounding way of his, and Gippal knew he was staring. Not like he could keep himself from doing it.
Baralai put on his coat and bent over, gathering his scattered belongings. Gippal began to help him but paused at a photograph. It was a group shot of some women in waitress uniforms, their knees visible below the short skirts. Well, mostly women. There was one little girl. What struck Gippal was how closely she resembled Baralai. Her skin was dark. Her short hair, held by a bow on each side, was as light as Baralai's. Then there was her smile. Gentle, mysterious, but at the same time, knowing…
"This pretty girl a relative of yours?" He pointed her out, the girl in the lower right-hand corner.
Baralai and Paine peered over his shoulder to examine it as well.
"She seems well-loved by everyone…" Gippal observed. "You never told me you had a little sister or cousin…"
"I don't." Baralai's cheeks were flushed, a good indication of his embarrassment.
Gippal couldn't understand it. "Who is she, then? Here she is again…" He picked up another photo. And another and another and another.
"Growing up…" Paine murmured.
"I – She –" Baralai stammered. "That's me."
Gippal promptly released the photographs. "What?!"
Paine laughed slightly. "Baralai, you're joking."
"I'm serious," he replied, his eyes reflecting this. "The temple took me, but things were still rough, so I…"
"…Fabricated the facts?" Paine filled in.
"I was too young to know that they only hired women to wait on customers, in order to…attract a certain following of people," Baralai explained. "But the women told me to try on the outfit as a joke. They took me to the head manager, and before they could tell him I was really a boy – after they lied – he hired me. They were of afraid of angering him, so it was years until he found out the truth."
"How'd he find out?" Gippal immediately asked. Who would have guessed Baralai had such an interesting past? Okay, he had had his suspicions, but he never would have thought of something like this… "Deepening voice?" He grinned.
"Ah, actually…" Baralai reddened.
"Come on," Paine urged, amusement flickering in her eyes. "We already know you wore a skirt."
"One of the customers became a little…" He cleared his throat. "…rowdy, and he pulled down my skirt."
Gippal and Paine gaped.
"So it all hung out?" Gippal inquired, eyebrows arched.
Baralai lowered his face into his collar. "Um, yes. Needless to say, the restaurant manager no longer felt a very fatherly bond with me. He fired me right then and informed the temple that I obviously had problems and was not worthy of Yevon." He paused. "They…beat me severely but kept me, due to what they called 'moral obligation.'"
"Sounds unfair to me," Gippal commiserated. "Because of some fucking pedophile, you got the shit beat out of you?"
"Well…yes."
For a moment, no one said anything.
"Still, the thought of you in a skirt is…" Gippal trailed off, trying to change the subject. "…quite appealing…"
"Gippal!" Baralai exclaimed. "I was only twelve at the most."
"Pervert," Paine muttered.
"Hey, I was just kidding."
---
Gippal crouched down, dipping the giant containers in water. It didn't seem like filling them for a week was a terrible punishment, but they were dreadfully heavy when full. Baralai normally accompanied him while he did this, but today Gippal had been summoned to do this in the middle of training.
He hauled the containers up with all his strength and, straining not to pop any blood vessels with the effort, was about to turn around when a hand clamped over his mouth. Gippal heard his own muffled shout and was dimly aware of dropping the water. In a flurry of fists, he tried to spin around, but an arm crushing his trachea prevented any progress. A hand fisted tightly in his hair, stopping him from moving his head. His mouth hung open in the struggle for air. He didn't think it would have been wise to close it until after the pill was popped in.
It was almost tasteless. Almost. There was a faintly bitter tang coating his tongue. Gippal thrashed and kicked out, knowing he had to reject it in order to have a chance.
He didn't. Not a chance at all.
The pill dissolved quickly, mixing with his saliva in a matter of seconds.
"Swallow," someone growled in his ear.
He shook his head persistently. It would be all over if he did.
"Swallow, damnit!"
He was desperately in need of oxygen, and his throat was being squeezed tighter still. Knuckles slammed into his skull, the fingers around his neck loosened, and reflexively, he swallowed.
"Vilg (Fuck)," he gasped out. "Vilg –"
The hand returned to his neck, clenching the back of it this time, forcing him down. There were so many. So many people pushing him down. It could have been five or ten. He had no way of being sure.
Now he was kneeling, but before he could inspect the reflection in the water to determine the identities of the attackers, his head was plunged under. Gippal couldn't swim and hated putting his head underwater. He choked, dragging water into his lungs. Everything became blurry, was actually strangely pretty.
He wondered if he would die like this.
Apparently, the people assaulting him had no intention of allowing that to happen. His head was yanked up, only to be thrust back in again.
It was peacefully cold. So quiet. The only sounds he heard were his thoughts, oddly not screaming but calm, reasoning. He thought about breaking free, about possible methods of escape.
He thought about Baralai.
Just when he was about to pass out, they finally halted their game. His lungs cried out for air, and he granted them it, grateful for the motions of his ribcage, no matter how jerky they were.
A cloth passed over his eye and was knotted firmly, offering no chance of sight. He attempted to fight this but discovered, in a mist of confusion and numbness, that he no longer had any control over his own movements. It was if lead had been pumped into his limbs. Echoes bounced around in his skull, which felt so light on the inside but weighty on the outside. His sensations were dulled. Gippal wanted to curse them, but his lips couldn't form the words.
He vaguely perceived someone propping him up.
"Should we lay him flat or keep him like this?"
"Like that."
"We don't have to… I mean, why can't we just beat him up?"
"Are you chickening out?"
"Pussy."
"It's not like we're going to fuck him."
Gippal froze up, stomach jolting to the point that he speculated he might throw up. Did they intend to…?
"He's not a girl."
"No dipshit, genius."
"Listen, it'll feel the same as a girl. Watch. I'll do it."
Gippal tensed, not certain of what to expect. He only knew that it was going to be disgusting.
He wasn't wrong. A slimy tongue swept through his mouth, causing him to gag. He didn't have enough energy to bite down hard, and his attempts came out as weak chewing. The violation of his mouth ceased but was replaced by something else.
"Knock it off," a voice hissed.
He was slapped. Hard. Fingernails scraped at his chest through his shirt. Gippal arched his back, moaning softly in pain, as one of his nipples was cruelly pinched and twisted.
"It doesn't matter that he's not a girl. He's an Al Bhed. A dirty cocksucker whore. Not even human. We could kill him and face no repercussions."
The blindfold gave way a bit on the side where his eye patch was, and the patch was lifted up. Breath beat on the scars.
"It's not that ugly…"
"It sure as hell ain't that pretty, either."
He was so ashamed.
Hands groped him roughly, unforgiving. And then more. Sucking on his skin, mouths abusing his, the sound of a zipper –
"Shit, someone's coming!"
"Oh, fuck!"
"Just leave him –"
They simply left him like that. He heard footsteps and hoped he didn't look too horrible. If it was obvious, he had reason to be embarrassed. If it wasn't, he wouldn't tell. Except Baralai. He was going to ask about the marks.
"Gippal?!"
He could have wept in relief. Unless his ears told him wrong, it was Baralai. The blindfold was hurriedly tugged off, and Gippal was able to see, even with blurred vision, that it was indeed him.
"What happened to you?! Gippal! Why won't you –?" He dragged Gippal up by his wrists, incapable of picking him up. "Oh, Yevon… You're too heavy! Can't you talk?"
Gippal wished he could. To worry Baralai like this hurt him deeply. Why was he always so much trouble?
"Wait, I'm going to try and pick you up –" Baralai scooped him up from underneath his arms and slung him over a shoulder, nudging the eye patch back in place. He groaned under the extra weight but managed to continue walking and whisper comfortingly. "Gippal… It's going to be all right…"
The colors of the ground, grass, and sky bled and ran together. Everything wavered and shuddered again and again, bursting beautifully. Upside down, his head collected with blood, and he felt even dizzier.
"We're almost there…" Baralai reassured him. "Nooj! Paine! Something happened to –" He broke off, panting, as Gippal thudded to the ground. "He won't talk at all!"
Gippal felt his body being carried into the tent, could see the faces above him in a kind of fog… Oh, the lantern was on.
"His pupil is dilated," Nooj observed. "He's feverish. Racing pulse…" He pulled up Gippal's arm and released it. "Completely limp."
It was like he was under a magnifying glass. He hated it.
"Gippal, you're always getting hurt," Paine scolded, but Gippal could hear how her voice was tinged with concern.
"What do you think it is?" Baralai questioned restlessly. He was squeezing the life out of Gippal's hand, but Gippal wasn't about to complain. Not that he could at this time, anyway.
Nooj gave him an honest answer. "It looks like drugs."
"Cowards…" Baralai responded angrily.
"Baralai," Nooj replied firmly, "I'd like to speak with you outside for a moment." Nooj stood up and gestured for Baralai to follow him.
Their low, anxious voices barely reached Gippal. He couldn't make out what the subject of their conversation was, but if he had to take a stab at it, he'd say it was about him. To be fair, that was the easiest guess he'd ever made in his life.
"Gippal, are you okay?" Paine reached out and held his jaw in her hand, peering at his face, where he remembered he had been slapped. "They really beat you up. Gippal? Gippal! Hey, stay…"
Everything went black.
"…with us…"
---
It was warm, in that pleasant way that comes from body heat. Heavy also, but that was because something was leaning on him.
"Baralai?" he whispered hoarsely.
"Mmm… Ah?" He sleepily opened an eye. "Oh, you're awake."
"Sorry for waking you… Where are we?" His throat felt sore; his voice, unused. But then, he had been mute for a short period of time. Suddenly, he noticed he was lacking certain items. His boots, gloves, armor, and… "Baralai, where's my shirt?" Panic seized him. Undoubtedly, Baralai had seen the marks, which he was sure had been hidden from public view on purpose.
"I took it off, along with your other boots and armor, because it was better for you to get rest that way. The shirt was drenched in water. You're in the infirmary right now. Nooj and Paine headed back, because it's night, but I wanted to stay with you…" He brushed damp blond strands away from Gippal's eye, smiling feebly. "They understood."
"Does Nooj know?" The thought made Gippal sick with anxiety. "Do you?"
"Yes, I… I do. But no one else does. He had his suspicions when he found out it was a drug normally used to sedate…" Baralai trailed off.
Gippal tugged at his wrist. "What? Tell me."
"…rape victims…" Baralai finished, not meeting Gippal's gaze. "Gippal, what happened? It's not your fault. You can be honest –"
"I wasn't raped," Gippal answered steadily. "I wasn't. They weren't going to, anyway. They were going to…mess with me and get me to do things to them, but you came before anything really happened."
Baralai exhaled. "I'm so relieved…" Arms wrapped around Gippal. "But I still want to kill them."
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Gippal grinned. "I'd consider that creepy, Baralai."
"How do you know they won't do it again?" Baralai searched his face uneasily. "You don't even know who they are. How are you going to avoid them?"
"I won't go anywhere alone…" Gippal stretched and buried his head into the pillow. "I'm tired… Come on, get into bed with me."
"The doctor will not be pleas – Mm!" He was pulled toward Gippal and ushered under the sheets.
"See? That's comfortable, isn't it?" Gippal breathed in Baralai's scent. "E muja oui suna dryh yhodrehk. (I love you more than anything.)"
"I love you, too, even when you shove me into bed…" Baralai smiled into Gippal's hair and traced small circles on his back.
Gippal hummed contentedly.
Baralai stopped his motions. "That song again… How does it go?"
"I can tell you now…but I warn you, I'm not the best singer. I'll translate it for you as I go along, because it's in Al Bhed." He tucked his head in against Baralai's chest. "Okay… Ouin ryht ec eh so rhyt…" he began softly, hesitantly. "You hand is in my hand… Ouin raynd ec eh so raynd… Your heart is in my heart… Hu syddan fryd rhybbach, E femm luhdehia du fydlr oui pnaydra eh yht uid cmufmo, mega y deta, yht gab drec cyva, E bnuseca… No matter what happens, I will continue to watch you breathe in and out, like a tide, and keep this safe, I promise… Vun fedr aylr byccehk tyo, so muja vun oui knufc… For with each passing day, my love for you grows…"
Baralai was without words.
Gippal laughed. "That bad, huh?"
"No, it was lovely… I'm not sure what I could say after something like that." He pulled Gippal up and kissed him on the cheek, careful to avoid the bruise.
"And what's really romantic is that you first heard that while I was giving you –"
"Gippal, I declare war," Baralai interrupted calmly.
"What?"
The pillow was whisked out from underneath his head, and he was battered relentlessly with it.
"Ah, ahhh!" he cried, helpless.
Breathlessly laughing, he struggled to regain the prized pillow, only succeeding in tangling himself and Baralai in a mess of sheets. With a piercing battle cry that was sure to wake up the other patients in the infirmary, Gippal flung himself at Baralai. Only, he hit air.
And flew. And flew.
Before finally landing on the floor and dragging Baralai to the ground with him.
"So, who won the war?" Baralai asked, gasping for air.
"It's fair to say we both showed exemplary qualities. Therefore, I award you a medal…and myself five medals."
Their laughter echoed throughout the infirmary.
---
A/N: Next chapter: Leaving the camp. Decisions have to be made…