Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 17

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 17

The X-men and the 208 mutants they had rescued ate dinner together in the spacious dining hall. They sat at numerous long, square tables. As Jean sat eating next to her husband, she sensed a wide array of emotions bouncing around the room. Many of their new comrades were excited and overjoyed to be in An'zhina, loving the beauty of their new home. However, many were homesick for earth, and the family and friends who had been left behind. Many were nervous and anxious at finding themselves in such an incredulous scenario----no matter how much preparation the X-men had given them beforehand and no matter how beautiful their surroundings were, finding oneself living on a moon light years from earth was still a pretty shocking predicament.

Jean was finding herself taking some time to adjust to the change of situation. For 10 weeks, she had been one of only three adults living on the entire moon. As they knew to expect, no Endarians had contacted them other than the brief medical check-ups Jean had experienced. It had been quiet and peaceful, with long days spent reading to and playing with Charlotte and Aurora. Now there were over 200 other people in the dining hall. Eating had been quiet and leisurely, but now she had to lean forward to even hear the person across the table from her. The only loud noise she had been accustomed was the crying of a baby; now she had to raise her voice above the din to be heard.

//This * will* take a little bit of adjustment.// Scott spoke into her mind.

//Yes.// She thought back at him. //I wish there were more hours in a day. I really want to catch back up with Warren, Betsy, and Nightcrawler.// The three Jean mentioned were sitting at the same table with them, but towards the end of the table and several seats down. Jean kept glancing in their direction. Betsy looked calm and even bored, but she also looked indifferent to her surroundings. She ate mechanically and she ate very little. Warren looked more ill-at-east than Jean had ever seen him, though that was not surprising. Both were thinner than ever.

Also at their table were all the other regular X-men, plus Moira, Marrow, and Panda. Hank and Panda were directly across from Jean and Scott, and Jean found herself drawn to Panda easily. Panda was outgoing and friendly, and she easily conversed with them on a number of topics. Jean also noticed the way Hank and Panda looked and smiled at each other. Jean exchanged a knowing look with Scott and silently vowed to try to get Beast alone as soon as possible.

Jean also observed that Wolverine was nowhere in sight, apparently opting to skip the group dinner. She mentally scanned for him and found that he was safe and sound----and in the mood for some peace and quiet. She reassured the other X-men that there was no need to fear for his safety.

When dinner was over, the crowd disbursed. Most of the rescued mutants wanted to explore more of An'zhina, and off they went. "We X-men certainly have much to discuss," the Professor said to the X-men. "It has been a busy day, and I think it will continue to be a busy day. Let's meet tomorrow, mid-morning. We can then discuss a number of different questions." The X-men agreed, and soon disbursed almost as quickly as most of the other mutants had.

"I love it out here!" I said to Jubilee. She and I sat high in the hills overlooking our compound. I had made an ice slide to whip us both up there in no time. Rogue and Gambit had kindly offered to look after Aurora for a bit, saying they missed their niece. So Jubilee and I were alone.

"I missed you so much," she said, putting an arm around me.

"I missed you too, sweetie. And I missed this place too. The fresh air, the open surroundings…it's gorgeous here."

"I guess I'm already starting to take it for granted."

"Really?" I looked around. "You know what stands out for me the most here? The colors. Everything is so bright. The water is such a deep blue, the beaches are bright white, and all the greenery up here is a brighter green than I can remember on earth." I paused, and smiled. "So, tell me what it was like the past couple months. What did I miss, Jubes?"

"Aurora is growing so fast! I gotta show you some of the neat pictures I took. And I want to take more pictures of you and her together."

"Of course!"

"She and Charlotte are playing together quite nicely too."

"They play?"

"Well, yeah, but it's kinda weird how they do it. They pull each other's hair and even bite each other."

"Um….okay…..is this good?"

"It's normal," she said, laughing. "That's how babies their age get to know each other."

"Oh. I get it. They're like exploring the world."

"Yeah. So what else can I tell you about the babies? Rory is already walking, though `toddling' might be a better term for it. And we have to watch them constantly because they're both always putting everything in their mouths. Like, right now it feels weird to be away from her since I can't let her out of my eyesight unless Jean or Scott will look after her. But I warned Rogue and Gambit that they have to watch her constantly and make sure she doesn't choke on anything."

I nodded. "Cool. So what else have you been up to?"

"Um, being really bored," she said it with a laugh but I could tell she definitely wasn't joking. "I mean, it's nice….there really is very little work to be done around the place, so mostly me and Jean and Scott spent all our days playing with the kids and reading to them and such. Marina sent us some toys and things for them. Other than that, we basically have been hanging out on the beach and exploring the hills. I practice my karate still, but it's no fun without you and Wolvie. We've been doing other training exercises too, pretty regularly. But it still got to be boring here."

"I wondered how you'd do with Jean and Scott as the only other two adults. I mean, they're nice and all, but they have such a bond with each other…"

"I know. They tried hard to make sure I didn't feel this way, but I still felt like a third wheel at times. And oh my god! Bobby, I gotta tell you about the funniest thing!" she got a broad grin on her face. "I was so embarrassed, I could've died and I so wished there was someone else here to share it with!"

"What happened?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"Well, one day---not too long after you guys took off--- they ask me if I can look after Charlotte for a bit. This was like in the middle of the morning. So I said sure. They go into their room. After a while, Charlotte wanted something from them and I thought I'd better like tap on their door. So I go up to their room, like totally without thinking. The second after I knock on their door, I'm like `Oh shit….I know why they wanted some privacy.' I could've died."

"So what happened next?" I was on the edge of my seat. What can I say? This was good stuff.

"Well, through the door, Jean says---in an all-out-of-breath voice---that they are busy and can it wait a bit? I just was so mortified!"

I cracked up. Jubilee playfully punched my shoulder. "I was so embarrassed, I so wished for someone else to share that with. But it was just me and the two of them."

"Hey, at least you didn't walk in on them! Did Jean ever say anything to you about it?"

"No, thank god. They emerged from their room later on and kinda acted like nothing happened. Next time they asked me to look after Charlotte for a bit, Jean just gives me this look."

"Oh well. Live and learn."

"That probably was the most exciting thing that happened while I was here, Bobby. I mean it. I love this place, it's nice and tranquil, but it did get to be pretty boring. I missed the rest of the group, especially you and Wolverine. But anyway," she continued, "you've heard enough about what went on here. I want to hear more about what you guys did! During dinner, I was sitting at the end of the table, with Colossus, Angel, and Psylocke. Not the most enthralling group. Betsy and Warren hardly spoke, and Colossus spent half the meal making baby talk at `my little Auror—uchka.'

Jubilee continued, "He did tell me about the battle you guys went through to free the camp though. He said you were pretty heroic, against these two soldiers who were threatening to kill one prisoner."

I smiled, "It was nothing."

"But tell me more, Bobby. I mean, about everything I missed. Tell me your version."

So I spoke with Jubilee, getting her up to speed on what she'd missed. I told her about the facts that had slowly unfolded as we headed back towards earth and how the picture of life on that planet kept getting more and more grim. I tried to put it off, but I got to a point where I had to share with her the day when the Professor had told us he'd linked up with Psylocke. Jubilee told me that Jean had told her what the women at the containment centers were enduring, but she shuddered nonetheless. I gave her a hug. Then, I went on to describe our battle with FOH and then sum up the trip home.

"So, basically, we were all really busy," I said. "We were never bored---well, except when we were on bridge duty, which got to be pretty excruciatingly dull at times. But there was always something that needed to be done."

"How was Wolvie holding up? I gotta imagine he'd be crawling out of his skin, between not getting to rough up any FOH soldiers and then the trip home."

"Yeah, he was his usual charming self," I said, leaving it at that. "Actually, he could've been a lot worse. I wasn't surprised, though, when he took off by himself today."

Jubilee nodded. "So who's this Panda? I saw her sitting next to Hank at dinner and did they ever look like a couple!"

I told her. Her eyes grew wide. "Really?" she asked. "Beast in love? That is so cool! I am so happy for him!"

"I am too," I said, looking down. I don't know why I can't seem to truly be happy for him. Maybe I really am a complete jerk.

I wanted to get my mind off that topic and made a joking reference back to the scenario Jubilee had described of when she nearly walked in on Scott and Jean's lovemaking. She playfully swatted at me for bringing it up but we laughed over it too. "I'm jealous of them," she admitted, taking on a sorrowful tone. "And I'm lonely for a love like that too."

I nodded. "I can relate. I'm totally feeling the---"

Suddenly, we both jumped as we heard Wolverine come up behind us. It was a total surprise---I sure hadn't heard him at all. "You're both losing your touch," he grumbled. "Caught you off-guard."

"Oh, give us a break!" Jubilee said, scrambling to her feet. "We don't have animal senses, like you do. And we're on vacation now for god's sake!"

"You still can't let your guard down."

"Whatever!" Jubilee then stepped towards Wolverine and hugged him, a hug which he not only tolerated but returned. At that point I'd been working in close quarters with Wolverine for long enough that I was pretty good at sensing his moods. He wasn't in one of his greatest ones that evening, though he also wasn't in the dangerously-pissed-off mood either. As I had observed often during the past year and a half, his demeanor brightened considerably whenever he was with Jubilee.

"I missed you at dinner," Jubilee said.

"Had to get away from everyone," Wolverine replied. "Did I miss anything?"

"No," I said, butting in since I didn't want them to ignore me. "We're meeting tomorrow, mid-morning. `We' meaning the X-men."

Wolverine nodded. I knew he detested all the meetings we had but I think he had conceded that this is just how the group makes decisions. "I'll be there. Though far as I can see, there ain't much to discuss. We gotta get back towards earth and bust more mutants out of these camps." As he said that, I noticed him gazing in Jubilee's direction.

"Bobby was telling me a little bit about them," she said, lowering her eyes. "The camps, I mean."

"It ain't pretty. We gotta stop those FOH bastards. We gotta let them know that they can't fuck with us anymore."

I didn't voice my opinion. I agreed with Wolverine, of course, but we X-men would have to be extremely careful on our next trip to earth. FOH had at least 7 other camps, and god only knew how many thousand---or million---soldiers. We had only a handful of X-men were are trained and ready to fight.

"So where's the kid?" Wolverine asked, looking at Jubilee.

"Aurora? Rogue and Gambit are babysitting her." Jubilee was grinning, and in response to Wolverine's questioning look, she said, "I'm so used to you calling * me* `kid.'"

Wolverine returned her smile, however briefly. "If we do get any downtime here, we gotta get you back into your karate training, Jubilee." He looked at me. "You too, Bobby."

"I've been keeping at it on the ship," I said.

"And I practice here almost every day," Jubilee said. "Though with only Scott and Jean and the babies to tell me how well I'm doing."

"Let's get up early tomorrow," Wolverine said. "We can meet in the usual spot and do some practicing then."

"It's a deal, Wolverine!" Jubilee said. The three of us spoke for only a little while longer, before Jubilee noted it was getting late and that she should return to Rory. She held onto me as I made an ice slide for us to fly down the hill on, and back to the complex.

Wolverine, Jubilee, and Bobby weren't the only X-men enjoying the hills that evening. Panda eagerly led the way as she and Beast explored the area. Her acrobatic skills were almost as strong as his, though undeveloped and underutilized. Still, the nimble duo had no trouble navigating around the hills.

"What a great view of the….I wanted to say `city', but I guess it's not officially a city down there," Panda said. She and Hank had reached the summit of the largest hill on An'zhina and were now looking down at the view. They were able to look at the large building, and all the smaller ones that fanned out from it. They could also see the beach off in the distance.

"An'zhina truly is a beautiful place," Hank said, as he and Panda sat down next to each other, settling in some grass.

"Did the Endarians provide some information about the biology of this place? I would like to learn about it….since we've been here, I haven't seen any animal larger than the birds in the sky. Is there any other indigenous life to this moon?"

Hank went on to relay to her some of the information that Marina had provided to the group. The moon did not harbor many life forms, however there were an assortment of small fish who made the waters their home, and a variety of other tiny animals. As the couple spoke, Hank put his arms around Panda and she nestled against his lap. She was a large woman; not many men could encircle her as Hank did. But the two of them fit together perfectly. Inwardly, Hank glowed as he felt her body heat mingling with his own. It felt so comforting, so right to hold her. Even as he felt cozy with her though, his pulse raced as it always did when she was around, and his heart danced.

"This will be a great place for the former prisoners to recover," Panda said thoughtfully. "It is so tranquil here."

"Yes," Hank said, softly. "Perhaps it will help you recover too."

Panda stiffened a bit. "What do you mean?"

Hank regretting saying words that disturbed their mood, but it was a thought that frequented his mind. "You were a prisoner for over three months. I must infer that it was a traumatic experience, even if the guards did not torture you as they did the other women. And even though you are always so…calm on the outside, I still wonder if perhaps you do still need to heal from your experience." One of his hands leisurely caressed her shoulder as he spoke. She reached for his straying hand and held it.

Panda nodded. "Hank, I don't like to dwell on the negative. I really don't want to think about those months. We are together now, and I have never been happier in my life." She looked down and took a breath. For the past couple weeks, she had known that she was going to have to tell him at some point. In that instant, she decided to. "But there is something I should tell you. The guards did torture me. They," her voice broke and she had to force herself to continue, "they raped me. A few times. I mean, it wasn't like they did with all the other women---I wasn't tied to a bed day in and day out. But there were a few times when the guards grabbed me and….forced me."

Hank now felt as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown on him. The cozy spell they had created was gone. In a split second's time, he groped for the right words. "My god," he murmured. "Jessica, I am so sorry."

She craned her face around so she could look at him. "Don't feel sad for me, Hank. Please, don't worry. I'm alright now."

"But…" shock was now being replaced by fury, "…but those bastards," Hank said, though he never used profanity. "I will kill them!" he was stunned at the words falling from his lips and at the depth of rage building up inside him.

Panda shook her head. "What's done is done. It's alright."

"Panda, it is * not* alright! What they did to you cannot be excused and it cannot be trivialized! It is not alright."

"Sweetie, take a deep breath. I mean it. I've never seen you this angry before," Panda said calmly and straightforwardly.

"I have never * been* this angry before," Hank said, realizing the truth of his words. He took the deep breath. He suddenly understood what Gambit and even Cyclops had been through, exactly what they had felt. As he often did now, he once again asked himself what Gambit or Cyclops would do and say. Hank reached for her hand again, and softly asked, "Panda, my love, what can I do to support you?"

Panda felt blush spreading across her cheeks. "You never called me `my love' before," she said, smiling though serious.

Hank realized the truth of her words, as well as the truth of his sentiment. He smiled, blushed, and looked down. "I love you, Panda."

One of her furry hands reached his face and stroked it. "I love you too, McCoy. C'mere, and kiss me." She pulled him towards her and their lips touched. Her hands went around his head, touching the fur on the back of his neck. This time, Panda's lips parted, her mouth opened. She'd never done this before, and neither had Hank. Fleetingly, she feared they would accidentally bite each other's tongues or some other minor tragedy might occur. Somehow, they both knew what to do though. When that kiss ended, they looked into each other's eyes and came together again for another one.

"Mmmm…" Panda murmured, when they were finished. Her arms were around Hank. "You kiss well for someone with no experience."

Hank's eyes were wide as saucers. "Oh my stars and garters! That was amazing." He didn't care if his comment might sound cliched. His head whirled. This was what had inspired so many artists! This was what so many poems, plays and other works of literature were about! No wonder. Many, many years ago, Hank had resigned himself to never experiencing these things. He was too overwhelmed to even recall any poems to recite.

They continued to hold each other, and leisurely caress and kiss as the time passed and the evening grew darker and darker. The sun set in the distance.

Finally, Hank said, "Jessica, I hope you know that I'm here for you and that you can talk to me if you ever need to."

She smiled "I know that. And maybe someday I will want to talk about it." There was no need to elaborate on what they were referring to. "I know you care about me and I appreciate it. But please understand that right now, I just don't want to talk about it. I told you about it…because I just thought you should know. And I've been meaning to tell you for a while."

Hank nodded. "I respect your desire to not discuss it." A disturbing image invaded his mind, and he had to verbalize his thoughts. "But please don't trivialize what happened to you. Because you weren't tied to a bed day in and day out," as he spoke, his stomach churned, "does not make your experience any less traumatic."

"I know. But I'll be alright. I'm strong. But please…let's just not dwell on it. Those kisses we just shared were the best thing I have ever experienced in my life."

"I, too, have never experienced anything as wondrous as your kisses, my love." He was finding how normal and natural it felt to address her as `my love.'

The couple held hands as they descended the hill.

"So….did you do it?"

"Bobby!"

Okay, it was a stupid thing to ask. But I had to know. "Okay, I'm sorry, Hank. I was just curious. I guess I'm just a total shit when it comes to your romance life."

"You are, but I love you anyway." He paused. "And no, we didn't `do it' yet."

Hank and I sat in my room inside the main complex of An'zhina. I sat on the bed, and he sat on the small couch that faced it. It was way past Hank's bedtime. It was past mine too, I was getting cranky, and the green-eyed monster had made its appearance. "Well, I'm glad that you kissed and you told each other that you love each other. This is really cool." I tried to convey enthusiasm in my tone, but I knew I was failing.

Hank went on to say some words about at long last understanding all the love sonnets and paintings and whatnot devoted to romantic love. He tossed out names of dead guys I'd never heard of and such. When he was finished, he looked intently at me. Quietly, he said, "I wish you could be happy for me, Bobby."

"I am! I really am. It's just that….It's just that I really am a complete asshole. I'm a selfish, no-good, son of a bitch. That's what it boils down to," I said, with a definitive nod of the head.

"Must you lapse into that? I thought you had worked through those feelings of self-loathing." He stood up and turned towards the door. "I will not allow you to bring my mood down." I heard intense pain in his voice.

"Hank, wait!" I said, jumping up from the bed. "I'm sorry! I really am!" I got a hold of myself and managed to keep from crying. "I really am sorry if I brought your mood down," I said.

He turned towards me again. "Thank you."

I smiled and put my hands up, "Look, I know I have some selfishness issues to work through. And maybe I still have some self-hatred to deal with too. You once said it yourself that it would take me a long time to fully get over so many years of thinking of myself as dirt, no matter how much therapy I've had. But that doesn't excuse me being a shit. I really am happy for you and Panda, and I think it is cool that you're finally getting to experience all these things. Really," I said. "And I'll try to work through those attitudes I have."

Hank looked more like himself and nodded. He reached for one of my hands and held it. "You will always be my best friend, Bobby. The fact that I love Panda doesn't mean I love you any less. I have enough love to go around, whether it is for my best friend or for the woman I love." He paused. "And I do not want to hear you refer to yourself as `a shit' or anything else like that ever again. I know that you had a brutal upbringing and a lifetime's worth of insults thrown at you during some very formative years. But----"

"I know. I'll go back to saying affirmations, okay?" He and I shared a giggle, since I always made fun of those silly things, no matter how many times both Hank and Dr Winters had suggested I try them.

Earlier that evening, Aurora was sitting up and grabbing at the shiny objects as Rogue dangled the toy above her. The child reached for one and promptly put it in her mouth. "Uh…is it ok for her to do that?" Rogue wondered.

"Well, Jubilee said dat the kid putting everyt'ing in her mouth now," Gambit said. He and Rogue were sitting outside, on the main building's porch. "Gambit don't think she can choke on any of dat stuff."

After some time, Aurora got up and walked or stumbled over to Gambit and onto his lap. He spoke babytalk in French to her. He then reached for a book. The parents had a stash of books ready for the girls, and this one was made of cloth, full of bright pictures. Gambit began to read to Aurora. The baby occasionally reached for the cloth pages and put them in her mouth, making Gambit's task difficult.

Rogue watched Gambit's interaction with the girl. He clearly loved holding and cuddling her. `He wants children,' Rogue thought to herself. `I pretty much do too. But can I have them? Without a collar on, I can kill any living thing I touch. How am I ever gonna carry a baby inside me?' Rogue forced herself to smile and try to put the negative thoughts out of her head. `I'm not gonna worry now. We ain't even married yet. I don't have to worry about this for a while.'

Her stream of thoughts were interrupted when Jubilee returned. "Thanks, you guys!" she said, as she bounded onto the porch. "You're the greatest. It was nice to get a little bit of time off."

"My pleasure, petit'," Gambit said, relinquishing Rory to her mother. "We glad to babysit for you, anytime."

The next day, the X-men gathered in the largest meeting room of the main complex. It was a beautiful room---two sides of the square room had windows from floor to ceiling, allowing a breathtaking view. The room jutted out into some of the foliage that surrounded the compound, almost making them feel as if they were inside the garden itself.

Sitting around the large, circular table were the Professor, Storm, Cyclops, Jean, Beast, Iceman, Rogue, Wolverine, Gambit, Colossus, Jubilee, Nightcrawler, Angel, Psylocke and Moira MacTaggert. Aurora and Charlotte were in the room also, attended to by their parents. The babies pointed, made noises, and crawled or walked about, picking up things and attempting to put them in their mouths. During the meeting, various X-men would pick them up, hold them, or grab a toy and play with them. Moira watched the babies mill about. She gulped back the lump in her throat as she thought of her own "baby" whom she would never see again. She prayed these children would have a better life than Kevin had.

Meanwhile, Panda and the young man named Ramon were on duty in the infirmary should anyone need them. As always, Hank wore a communicator, standing by in case of a medical emergency.

"Good morning, everyone," the Professor said, though breakfast had been many hours ago. The meeting had been scheduled late enough in the morning so that even those who enjoyed sleeping in could attend. "We have all been called together because we have many things to decide upon."

"The most pressing question," Storm began, "is: when will we return to earth?"

"And we need to think of our tactics for when we get there," the Professor said. "FOH is expecting us now. We will need to think through the best way to free as many camps as possible while still managing to evade them."

"I say we head back as soon as possible," Wolverine said. "The mutants in these camps don't have time to wait while we sit on our asses and deliberate."

"I agree with you that we should not dally," Beast said, "but we also must be thoughtful and strategic before we go charging back into space. For all we know, the FOH has created technology to detect our cloak. It is not inconceivable that they could ambush us when we are far enough from Endarian space."

"I agree," Storm said, nodding her head. "It will do the mutants on earth no good if we are captured again and executed."

Jean then added, "I don't think we can settle on when to return to earth until we discuss what to do with the mutants who are going to be left here."

Scott said, "She's right. When we had 5 people living on this moon, it was different. We now are going to be working our way towards a small colony. We need to discuss the governance of this moon."

The X-men went on to talk about the issues raised by Jean and Scott. During the last couple days of the journey to An'zhina, the rescued mutants had been surveyed to determine who wanted to return to earth and who wished to remain in the refuge. At last count, there were 48 who wanted to return to earth so they could be reunited with their loved ones. "It is possible that some of them might change their minds once they get accustomed to An'zhina," Hank added. Most of the other 160 mutants had already declared their desire to remain on An'zhina. A small handful---such as Marrow and Panda---wanted to work with the X-men on their missions.

"It might be wise to wait at least a few days before going back to earth," Cyclops suggested. "I must think that some of those who wanted to go back to earth will change their minds. I believe that we owe it to them---actually, to all the rescued ones---to give them some time to truly decide what they want to do."

"I agree, Scott," the Professor said. "After all, one way of looking at this situation is the fact that we * did* kidnap them. Yes, we rescued them from Friends of Humanity, but we also gave all of them no choice about coming here. That is why I agree that we owe them at the very least 3 or 4 days here to decide what they want to do."

Wolverine, Rogue, and a few others were not overly pleased with this, though they had to concede to the group's wishes. Although he remained focussed on the meeting, the Professor could not help but to glance periodically at Psylocke. He knew they had important matters to decide, but he wished he could somehow be in two places at once. Betsy, and all the others he worked with, needed him. Betsy generally looked down at her hands and played with a stress ball. She did not talk. Charles had noticed that she shrugged away Warren's hand when he offered it to her for holding.

The group's conversation was then directed to the question of governance of the moon. "Many of the mutants who have already expressed a desire to stay here will need counseling," Storm said.

"I would be glad to work with them," Jean offered. "I don't have the counseling experience that the Professor has. But I am a good listener, and I did survive being gang-raped myself. My powers could also come in handy, too." Jean actually looked forward to this assignment and the chance to use her powers for good. During the last few months, she'd hardly had need of her powers at all. She wanted the chance to use them on something important.

"I will also help in whatever way I can," Scott added.

"I assume this means that you two are remaining here?" Storm asked the couple.

"Yes," Scott answered. Charlotte had crawled her way over to her father, and Scott picked her up and held her. "Jean and I did discuss possibly joining the next mission to earth. But the fact remains that we have Charlotte, and another one on the way." Jean was just barely beginning to 'show.' She put her hands on her expanding abdomen. "We can't jeopardize them."

"You are needed here," Storm said. "In fact, it is vital that some X-men remain to provide order for our….colony."

Wolverine looked at Storm as she spoke and agreed with her. In fact, the prospect of being apart from Jean again did not pain him as much as it had before. `She's safe here, her baby is safe here,' he thought to himself. `It's better that way.' There was something else too though, something which he didn't dwell on.

"Is everyone else in this room returning to earth for our next mission, then?" Nightcrawler was asking. "Except Jubilee?"

Jubilee glanced at Bobby and then at Wolverine. "I haven't decided yet," she said, provoking some raised eyebrows. "I have been considering joining you on your next mission. I am going to need to do a lot of thinking and deciding in the next few days. I mean, if your next mission goes as smoothly as this one, then Aurora won't be put at risk. But I know I gotta really think about this." She paused. "If I do stay, I'd, uh, be glad to do whatever counseling I can to anyone who wants it. Though I don't know if I have much to offer other than a shoulder to cry."

"Sometimes that's all they need, sugar," Rogue said. "Someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. And I find it helps `em when they see someone else who lived through it and is doing ok." As she said the words, Gambit reached for her hand and squeezed it.

Moira spoke up. "I, too, havena decided yet. I will base my decision upon Siryn's wishes. If she wants to stay here, I now believe I must stay here with her. The poor girl has already lost so much…" Moira's voice trailed off. She was sitting next to Scott and observing the loving way he held his daughter and played with her. Clearly, Scott was crazy about that girl. Sean had been like that too; he had adored Siryn. Mentally, Moira knew she must cut off that line of thought instantly. "Once she's been here a few days, " she continued, "I will talk with her and see what she wants to do."

Charles nodded as she spoke. An'zhina was so beautiful, it was hard to envision anyone wanting to leave its tranquility and safety for a potentially dangerous life on board a starship. The Professor was forced to entertain the possibility of his days on board the ship becoming much more dull and gray.

Storm sat next to Angel, and turned to him. "What about you, Angel and Psylocke?"

Warren took a breath. "I think we will decide to go with the X-men, back to earth. The Professor has really been helping Betsy, and it's probably best if that is continued." As he spoke, Betsy continued to look down and work the stress ball in her hands. Her condition was a disquieting reminder of what they had all lived through. "And I would certainly like to help the rescue missions in whatever way I can."

"So, possibly, we will have two to four counselors staying on An'zhina to work with the rescued mutants who are here now," Storm said. "Depending on whether Moira and Jubilee stay or go."

"That's not a lot of people to deal with 160 mutants, 80 of whom were pretty severely traumatized," Bobby said.

Jean shrugged, "We'll make do somehow. We don't have much choice. I can ask Queen Marina for help but given how xenophobic her people are…Well, she made it clear I was lucky to get a doctor who's providing prenatal care. I don't know if she'd be willing to supply us with counselors, though it couldn't hurt to ask."

"You are right, Jean," Storm began, "we do not have much choice. And assuming our next mission is successful, we are going to have even more mutants who are almost certain to be similarly traumatized. I think we are going to need to adopt the mindset that taking care of our own people---healing those who have been traumatized----is now part of our mission and purpose. We need to do this to ensure that our people survive." She paused and spread her hands. "Our lives are not going to get any easier during the next few years." For a brief second, Storm wished she were back on the Paradise planet, leisurely spending her days swimming, making love with Wolverine in the forest, and playing cards with Gambit and the others in the rec room as Colossus worked on a painting. She only wished it for a second though. She knew her duty---the mutants on earth had to be taken care of.

The discussion then turned to the governance of An'zhina. Wolverine grew extremely impatient as this topic was not his favorite. He picked up a pen and toyed with it as the discussion wore on. Beast, on the other hand, leaned forward in his seat and spoke often. The group eventually decided to draft up a constitution for An'zhina. The Professor, Hank, Jean, Scott, Storm, and Nightcrawler all volunteered for this task. They knew a constitution would not provide all of the answers, but it would serve as a start for their colony.

Most of the rest of the group then decided that they would work on strategies for their next mission to earth. As Beast had said at the beginning of the meeting, they had to be prepared for the worst and for a strong counter-attack from FOH this time. Charging blindly into space and back to earth would not be wise. Storm, Wolverine, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, and Iceman said they would work together on strategy.

The X-men then agreed to meet as a group the next day. They gradually disbursed. Their already busy days were about to become even more full, and Storm's words about their lives not becoming any easier echoed inside everyone's mind..

As the X-men slowly made their way out of the conference room and onto the day's business, Hank stopped Gambit. "What do you need, mon ami?" the Cajun asked.

"I was wondering whether I might seek your advice once again," Hank said.

"Gambit glad to give advise anytime." He paused, and turned his head towards Wolverine. Wolverine had made it clear he wanted the group who was to work on strategy to meet right away. "'Cept Gambit needed right now. How about after dinner?"

.

It was a busy and long morning. Working on things like planning attacks and trying to anticipate your enemy's next move is not exactly my strong point. I didn't have a whole lot to contribute during that group's discussion and really at times I couldn't even follow what they were saying. I was glad when lunchtime rolled around.

Everyone ate in the large dining hall. I looked around. There were somewhere around 220 people in this dining hall. The room had empty space, but not a whole lot of it. If future rescue missions were successful, we'd need to build more space.

I took a seat next to Jubilee and Aurora. Jubilee was spoon feeding her some mashed up stuff that looked gross. I had to avert my eyes in order to be able to eat my own food. Wolverine soon plopped down on Jubilee's other side.

"So what's this about you plannin' on coming along on our next rescue mission?" Wolverine asked her, getting straight to the point as usual.

"I wouldn't be `coming along' as if I'm a little puppy," Jubilee said indignantly. "I'm an X-man. I want to fight as a member of the team."

"It's dangerous. What about her?" he said, gesturing at Rory. As if on cue, Rory reached into some of her mushy food and picked it up with her fingers. She almost looked ready to throw it at something, but instead settled for letting it dribble down her fingers and onto the table, as she smiled. She then rubbed some of it into her chin.

"Like I said at the meeting, if everything goes well, she'll be fine!" Jubilee insisted.

I spoke up, "Wolverine, if she wants to come with us, why dissuade her?"

"Because it ain't safe, bub," Wolverine said, sounding a tad peeved at me. "Jubilee, think of the risks."

"I would love to have you with us again, Jubes," I said. "I really think you should give it serious thought."

"Oh, I am giving it serious thought," she said. Wolverine was about to say more but our discussion was cut short when Jean entered the dining room, carrying Charlotte. "Sar!" Aurora exclaimed, pointing at the other baby.

"She loves her," Jubilee explained. "Though when they get together, all she does is pull Charlotte's hair and get really obnoxious with her." Aurora made sounds and gestures indicating she wanted to be near her friend, so Jubilee excused herself and brought the baby over to the other one.

Wolverine turned to me. "Why are you trying to talk the kid into coming with us?"

"She's not a kid," I said firmly, while trying to keep the edge out of my tone. "She's an adult now, if you haven't noticed. It's her decision to make. Besides, " I said, trying to sound lighter, "it would be fun if she were around. I care about her a lot and I like spending time with her. I thought you did, too."

"I do," Wolverine said. "If you care `bout someone, then you want what's best for `em. It's best for her to stay here, where she and the baby are safe. You want them to come with us because you like to be around them. You're bein' selfish, bub."

"Really?" I said, not being able to come up with much of a comeback. Guess I'm just a really, really selfish person lately.

"You can't always be with the people you love," he went on. "And I tell you this mission ain't gonna go as smooth as the last one did. We're X-men and things never work out that easily for us. My gut tells me we're in for a real struggle next time we get to earth. Jubilee and Aurora don't need to be part of that."

"Okay. That might be true. But how do you know what's best for Jubilee? Maybe it's best for her to be on our next mission. Maybe she'll save the day on our next mission. You're being way overprotective."

"Yeah? Well, at least I ain't willing to jeopardize the life of someone I say I love, just so I can have `em with me."

I honestly was about to tell him to fuck off, when Storm came over to us and set her tray down where Jubilee's had been. "What is this mess?" she asked, looking at the green goo that Aurora had spilt on the table.

"Excuse me," I muttered, as I got up, taking my tray with me. I scouted around the room for Hank and Panda, but didn't see them. I found an empty seat next to some of the new mutants we'd been training, and I finished my lunch there.

The entire day, all I could think of was my conversation with Jubilee and Wolverine. Well, especially the part with Wolverine. Is that it? Am I just selfish? My two best friends in the world (er…galaxy) are Hank and Jubilee, and I feel like I've lost them both. Yeah, Hank definitely makes an effort to spend time with me every day and I appreciate it, but I know I am no longer his number one. Panda is. And if my life for the next few years is going to consist of jaunts to and from earth to rescue mutants, it means I'm only going to see Jubilee for a week or so at a time every couple months should she choose to remain on An'zhina.

I tried to remember some of the things my therapist used to tell me when I got in a mood like this. At least I still had a good friendship with Rogue and Gambit. And I had a good friendship with Hank and Panda, even if I was starting to feel like a third wheel with all these couples.

For once in his lifetime, Remy LeBeau was completely and utterly tongue tied. He had no idea what to say.

Hank McCoy sat next to him and went on. "As you know, you are the acknowledged expert in this area." The two men were sitting, facing each other at one of the many picnic tables in the back of the main building.

Remy still sat there, stunned at what Hank was asking him. He regained part of his composure. "Why, thank you, Beast," he managed. "It is de truth," he added, boastfully.

Beast had sought out Gambit earlier that day for the purpose of asking him for some tips and advice on the topic of making love to a woman. As a doctor, and one who had delivered two babies, Hank was fully versed in female anatomy. Recently, he had reviewed his text books (along with their diagrams) on the subject. He had also re-read many of the classics that dealt with romantic love. However, the subtleties of the act of lovemaking were another matter. Hank's analytical mind told him that when one does not have the knowledge himself, one should seek out someone who does. Looking at Gambit that evening, however, he could tell that he had flustered the Cajun a bit.

"Well," Gambit began, "Gambit not sure exactly what to say. I usually jus' follow my instincts."

"Certainly you have good instincts because of your vast experience. However, is there any advice you would give to someone without that experience?"

Gambit was now trying to refrain from bursting out laughing. His stomach muscles were getting a workout from holding it in. Never in a million years would he have envisioned that he'd be sitting next to Hank, giving him guidance about sex. Once he knew he would not be breaking out with laughter, he thought seriously about the question. "Well, let me see. Probably best advice I can give you is to go slow." He looked around, ensuring no one was within earshot. "Most women dey like to go pretty slowly, dey like you to take your time." He thought of a metaphor Hank might appreciate. "Say, if you were admiring a Renaissance painting, you wouldn't just glance at it and move on. You'd take your time and really appreciate it. So dat's how most women are about deir bodies."

Hank nodded. "Yes. Yes, that makes sense."

Remy thought of a few more things. "`Course one t'ng Gambit learn is dat everyone woman is different. Some are going to want you to go faster dan others. You can learn what dey like by listening to deir breathing or any sounds she's makin'. Also, you can jus' ask whether she like somethin' or not." He still felt a little funny saying these words to Hank, but he said them anyway. "You could always ask her to guide your hand for you."

Hank nodded. Again, Gambit bit back laughter as his friend was practically sitting on the edge of his seat, hanging on the Cajun's every word.

More thoughts popped into Remy's head. "Gambit will say dat the best advice is to not get too worried `bout it or hung up on it. Jus' do your best and be attentive to her. Tell her dat you love her an how beautiful she is."

Hank then went on to profusely thank Gambit for sharing his wisdom. As Hank got up to leave, another thought came to mind. "Hey, Beast," Gambit began, "jus' one more t'ing."

"Yes, Gambit?" Hank asked, eager for any pearl of wisdom.

"Cut your nails."

Hank had made it clear to Gambit that he and Panda did not have any immediate plans to consummate their love; however, Hank liked to be prepared and knew that it was an event likely to occur in the foreseeable future. He had found Gambit's suggestions extremely helpful.

However, what he truly wished to ask the Cajun, he couldn't. Now that Panda had told Hank that she had been raped, a whole new bevy of questions had been brought up. Should he not initiate any lovemaking and wait for her to do so? What if he said or did something that brought back horrible memories? Hank knew he own common sense could assist him in answering those questions, but he still wished for the experience of Gambit.

Of course, Hank knew he could talk to his dear friends Jean or Storm about this. They would probably offer good insight into this. But he couldn't ask the question because he wanted to respect Panda's privacy---she had not given him permission to tell anyone else that she had been raped. Although Panda had not explicitly instructed him to not tell anyone, he assumed he should keep it a secret---and therefore, he could not bring it up without the other person wondering why. Hank decided he would have to rely on his common sense with this one.

That evening, the Professor, Jean, and Cyclops were lounging around in Jean and Scott's room, with the baby. The small family sat on the sofa, each occasionally sipping a hot beverage. The Professor momentarily had to fight back feelings of guilt. `Shouldn't I be working? Isn't there anything that needs tending to?' Of course there was; at any given moment, a million small crises were calling out to him, or to any of the X-men. However, Moira had taken one look at Charles during dinner and had to order him to do something restful that evening. "No work!" Moira had demanded.

Charles had chuckled at her concern for him, knowing the truth to her words. He desperately did need a few hours to himself. Almost as if they had read his mind, Jean and Scott had then approached him, asking to spend some leisurely time with him. Moira was asked whether she wanted to join them; however Moira and Siryn already had made plans to explore more of An'zhina that evening.

"She has your eyes, Jean" Charles said, holding Charlotte on his lap.

"Doesn't she?" Scott said, agreeing. "The most beautiful eyes you could imagine."

"I also sense great telepathic ability," he said, thoughtfully. "Already at such a young age, she has such a…clear mind. A strong mind."

"We have been wondering about that," Jean said. "I always sense very strongly when she's hungry or when she needs her diaper changed. Scott and I couldn't tell whether it's some sort of parental intuition or whether we do have some sort of psychic link with her, already."

"I think it is a link," the Professor said. "I do not have experience working with one so young, but when I take a glance into her mind, I sense such great potential."

Jean smiled. "It is good to hear your thoughts on this. Actually, it is great to hear the thoughts and opinion of someone else. So often during the last several months, I find myself wishing for my mother. I know she would have good advice on so many things."

"There's only so much we can learn from all the books and articles we read," Scott said.

"I wish I had been able to send that photograph to your family," the Professor said, reflectively. Jean's mention of her mother caused the thought to spring up in his mind. "During our rescue mission, we did not have a moment to stop anywhere else. Two FOH ships were chasing us."

"From what I've heard from you and everyone else," Scott said, somberly, "it sounds as though you barely escaped."

The Professor took a deep breath. "As I recall, it was close. If we had not been so organized and well-trained, we would have had problems." As he said the words, Charlotte crawled from his lap onto her father's. Scott scooped up his daughter and planted a kiss onto her forehead.

"This next mission will be hard," Jean said. "As everyone has pointed out already, they will be expecting you again. And I---" Jean stopped herself. "I, uh, sense that you don't want to talk about this topic right now."

The Professor smiled. "I must admit that I could use a diversion from more serious matters."

"Then that's what we'll have. No more talk about serious things."

The three spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing together. When Charles left for his own room, he thought to himself how much he loved them and how proud of them he was.

The next day, we X-men all gathered in the same big meeting room again for another meeting. I glanced around the table. Psylocke really didn't look much better than she had the previous day. Hank was practically glowing. That morning (actually, late the previous night) I had left a little note under his door telling him how I happy I was for him and Panda. He'd seen me in the morning on the way to sick bay and had told me how much he appreciated that.

I didn't pay as much attention during the meeting as I should have. I don't know how good of an idea the architect who designed this room had. The two floor-to-ceiling picture windows are nice, but it was a gorgeous day outside, and I could think only about getting outdoors and swimming. I think the entire trip to earth and back, I'd only had a chance to swim three times, two of which were part of our training. Of course the pool on board the ship was nothing compared to swimming in the waters of An'zhina.

Aurora crawled over to me, and I spent the balance of the meeting playing with her.

Hey, one cool thing happened during the meeting. I dunno how we got on this subject since I wasn't paying attention, but suddenly we were talking about the name of our ship. A long time ago, we'd looked it up and found it was called the Defender. None of us had been crazy about the name. Jubilee was saying that the vessel sorely needed a proper name, and she suggested "Freedom." Everyone loved it. So, from now on, we called the ship Freedom. It was neat to finally have a name for the thing, after almost two years now of calling it "the ship."

Storm gave an update regarding strategy. I tried to make myself pay attention since I was scheduled to meet with the strategy group later that day. I don't remember much of what she said, though she did mention that we needed to brainstorm on a way to change public opinion back on earth. Silently, I wished her good luck. Someone did point out that we need to really focus on rescuing mutants from FOH first and foremost. She agreed, but also countered that if we could somehow discredit the FOH, that would help solve the problem. Hank agreed, making some sort of metaphor of us attacking the symptoms, not the cause. They had a good point, as impossible as that goal seemed. No one had any ideas on how to turn the tide against FOH though. Maybe if a videotape of what went on in the camps was made public….but how the heck would we do that?

That whole day I wasn't exactly the best Bobby I can be. I didn't pay attention during the group meeting, or later during the strategy meeting. During a late afternoon training session, I didn't exactly give it my all.

You know what I was really thinking about during the meeting? `Damn, I want a boyfriend!' That's where my mind was. Actually, that was only part of it. I was truly thinking about how much I wanted to have sex again. My eyes kept wandering to all the hot guys in the room. Wolverine, of course, was the hottest even though I was totally pissed at him then. But damn I would've loved to have been Storm for a night. The two of them were still going at it, and going at it fairly frequently. All the times I've seen Wolvie shirtless, I've practically drooled at the sight of his arms, his shoulders, his abs, his back. Yum. I wished I could see the rest. And I had to imagine that he could be real take-charge in bed.

And Gambit too. I feel a little funny thinking this about him since he is a friend, but he is really hot too. Not as much my fantasy-type as Wolverine is, but he does have such a sexy way about him. And his physique---what I've seen of it---is almost as hot as Wolvie, though he lacks the chest hair. But he's still totally sexy. I envisioned he'd be romantic and seductive and a very thorough lover.

It's too bad I wasn't a shapeshifter, because then I could turn myself into one of those guy's lovers.

My thoughts didn't just stay on those two, either. Cyke is very handsome. Not really my type, but very handsome. I imagined he was probably pretty good in bed, at least he would be with Jean since he loved her so much. I thought it would be fun to try to seduce someone as uptight as Cyke and got some fun images in my mind. Warren is not my favorite person and I never thought he was particularly attractive before, but that day he looked damn fine to me. Ditto for Colossus. It would be kind of fun to do it with such a big guy, I mused. He wouldn't be as good with his hands as Gambit would be, but he'd still be fun. Maybe he would be take-charge like Wolvie. Kurt started looking good to me too. I mean, his looks are unusual, but the more I looked, the more beauty I saw. I had a hard time guessing what he'd be like in bed though. Who knows? Has he ever even done it, I wondered. Maybe he has. He looks weird, but really he's cute in a way.

The only other men in the room were the Professor and Hank. Well, I wasn't going to fantasize about the Professor since it would be a bit like having sex with your father. Or with God. And Hank? I love the guy, but we've been best friends for too long for me to even fantasize about. He is cute and cuddly though. I've always thought that. Maybe it would be like making it with a giant teddy bear.

I also fantasized about what sort of different positions I'd like to be in with each guy. I played out some elaborate scenarios in my head.

I wondered if I should have stayed in San Francisco. I mean, my life would have had no purpose, but at least I could've had sex there. I suppose I don't need to add that not one of the male mutants we rescued was gay. Although, with the FOH take-over I guess staying in San Fran wouldn't have helped; I'd probably be in a concentration camp. And I'd probably be dead---you've got to imagine any gay male mutants are going to be killed by FOH (which might explain why there weren't any among those we rescued.) And probably the X-men would be all dead too since I wouldn't have been able to rescue them on board the ship that time.

So that is basically what I thought about during the entire meeting. As I was walking out, I passed by the Professor and Jean. I got a thought in my head and my blood froze. I just had to hope that both of them had not been testing their mind-reading abilities that day.

After the meeting, Jubilee grabbed me. She asked me why I had looked "kinda out of it." She and I then went off somewhere we could talk in private, and we bonded over our "Wolvie-lust."

That evening, Rogue held Gambit in her arms and flew him to the top of the highest hill on An'zhina. Gambit held a picnic basket, which contained their dinner. Finding a comfortable patch of grass, the couple spread their dinner out onto a blanket.

"I'm so tired," Rogue groaned, as she flopped down onto her back. "I can't sit up."

"Do you want Gambit to feed you?" Gambit asked, with that special tone in his voice.

"Charmer," she muttered, picking up a cloth napkin and lobbing it at him. "Sugar, there just ain't enough hours in a day. Between training and trying to come up with an attack plan against FOH and playing therapist, I can't do it all!"

"But look 'round you, chere. Gambit jus' glad we here on dis moon instead of dat ship. I mean `Freedom,'" he said, using the name the group had dubbed their starship. "If we gonna be busy, at leas' we can be busy in dis beautiful place."

"It don't matter much when you spend all day cooped up inside the main building," Rogue grumbled.

"At leas' we makin' a difference. We helped all dose mutants we rescued, and we gonna go back and get more."

Gambit started to dig into the food, periodically asking Rogue if she wanted anything. She rolled over towards him, and rested her head in his lap. "I guess you're right, Remy," Rogue said. "We are making a difference. And it is beautiful here. Things could always be worse."

"You notice dat Bobby seem to be doin' better?" Gambit asked.

"Yeah. He musta worked out whatever was bothering him. He seems okay, though at the meeting today he seemed kinda out of it too."

"Gambit tink he jus' bored."

"Can't say I blame him. I wish we had fewer meetings and spent more of our time kicking FOH ass."

They continued to talk and eat at a very leisurely pace. Gambit periodically stroked Rogue's hair, being careful to keep his fingers away from her face as he wore no gloves. The sun went down and the light began to dim. Eventually, Rogue was coaxed into a sitting up position. Gambit leaned back against a tree, and Rogue curled up in his lap, facing the same direction as he. Remy placed his arms around her. Rogue's fatigue evaporated and she started to feel very sensual. Feeling Gambit warm against her back brought back some enticing memories since they often made love in a similar position.

"I love you, chere," Gambit said, quietly.

"I love you too, Remy."

"Gambit has somethin' to give to you."

A chill went down Rogue's spine. She detected an inflection in Gambit's voice that was completely new to her, one that suggested something mind-blowing. "Y--you do?" she asked tentatively.

She felt Gambit reach for her gloved hand and hold it. It was her left hand. She then felt him slip something around one of her fingers. The ring finger.

Rogue pulled her trembling hand away and looked at it. A diamond ring had been placed on her ring finger. Rogue could only stare in awe, shocking pumping through her system. Her mouth fell open. She turned around and faced Gambit.

"Remy?" was all she could manage, mystified.

"I love you, chere. I want to spend de rest of my life with you. Say you'll marry me."

A few seconds went by. And then a few more. Gambit began to sweat.

Rogue could only stare at the ring, her mouth still wide open. She had never been more astonished in her life. She had not at all seen this coming. And, despite how happy she and Gambit had been, she never ever conceived that she could ever be married.

"Where in the galaxy did you get this ring?" Rogue asked. The instant the words fell out of her mouth, she regretted them. She wasn't even sure why she asked them, but her brain was completely frozen.

"Gambit has his ways," Remy answered. "He use' to be a thief, remember?" This was not exactly going as he had planned. He had known that his proposal would surprise her, but he thought it would be a pleasant surprise. However Rogue just looked stunned beyond belief. Now * he* was surprised, and bitter disappointment coursed through his veins.

"I---I don't know what to say," Rogue finally managed, after more long seconds had passed. She kept looking at the bright, sparkling ring. She had never imagined that anyone would ever give her something like this. "I never dreamed I'd ever be gettin' married. I just can't believe this."

"We love each other, chere. We know we will always be together." He reached for her hand and held it, intently looking at her face. "Les' make it official and get married."

Too many thoughts swirled around Rogue's head; she still had no idea what to say or what to think. "I do love you, Swamp Rat," she said, collecting her thoughts. "You know that."

Gambit's face fell. "But…." he began for her, knowing what was coming.

"But…how can you really want to marry me? I mean, ain't a couple supposta kiss when they get engaged? We can't even kiss now cause I didn't bring one of the damn collars!"

"Den we kiss when we get back to our room! What does it matter? You know dat Gambit loves you, an' I accept dat you can't touch me without that collar. Dat's ok."

"But what if we run out of collars someday?"

"We got 100 collars on dat ship, plus the 208 more dat we got with our last rescue mission! Hank says each one is good for `bout 10 years of active use. How long you t'ink you gonna live, chere??" He looked at her face and saw her smile at that last remark. He then shut his eyes for a second before looking back into her beautiful eyes. "Even if someday we do run out of collars, Gambit still love you and still want to be married to you. I love you the way you are. Do you really doubt that?" His voice conveyed passion tinged with a hint of anguish.

"No! No, I don't doubt it one bit." She reached with one of her gloved hands and touched it against his cheek. "I know that you accept me….even though I'm a defect."

"You ain't no defect, chere. You a priceless, precious jewel." He reached for her hand and kissed it. "I love you more den I loved anyone in my life."

Rogue was silent for a second. Her emotions were returning to normal and she was able to think once again. "But can we get married now? I mean, look at our lives. We might spend the rest of our lives running rescue missions to earth. We're gonna be in a lot of danger. We might never----"

"Rogue, you know dat we never gonna have normal lives. We be mutants, and X-men on top o' dat. We never were gonna have any kind of normal life, probably not even when we old and gray." He paused and took a breath. "But look at Scott and Jean. Dey talked `bout having kids for years and years, and always put it off till their lives got `normal.' Dey finally realized dere * is* no normal, not for us, not for mutants." He smiled. "Dey happy with their decision to go ahead and have kids. Ask `em. We be happy too, married."

"We might not ever be able to have children," Rogue said. Even as she thought of such excuses, her mind was working towards an answer to his proposal.

"If we can have children, den great. If not, we adopt. What's the problem? And we don't need to worry `bout dat right now anyway."

Rogue threw her arms around Gambit's chest and began to sob, her face muffled against his shoulder. "Yes," she sobbed. "Yes, yes, I will marry you, you crazy Swamp Rat!"

Gambit threw his head back and sighed with pleasure. "Oh chere! We make each other so happy. Gambit was afraid for a second dere dat you were gonna say no."

Rogue tried to think of a witty comeback, but failed as the tears came harder and harder. She clung to Gambit, her heart pounding.

Chapter 16

Chapter 18