Xmen: Friends of Humanity

by Stormkpr

The first book in my trilogy. FOH are taking over earth and the X-men must fight back. WARNING - contains some disturbing scenes; not suitable for children. COMPLETED

19. Chapter 19

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 19

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 19

The day after Rogue and Gambit's engagement party, we headed back for earth with the goal of freeing as many mutants from FOH as possible. Of course our other goals included returning to earth those mutants who wanted to go back and dropping off notes and/or pictures to the families of some of the mutants (such as Jean and Panda) who would not be returning to earth.

I knew I would miss An'zhina and those we were leaving behind on it. Just as last time, we exchanged semi-tearful goodbyes with Jean, Scott, and their baby. I glanced at the Professor. For a man who generally kept his emotions in check, the sorrow he felt at being separated from them was palpable. Poor Professor, I thought. I wondered if he didn't deserve a break. He'd been working tirelessly with the X-men for a very long time now. Didn't he ever want to take some time off? But I knew he would never consider it, not while there were mutants back on earth, suffering.

We boarded our ship, Freedom. The cloaking device was engaged, and we set off at maximum warp. If all went well, we'd reach earth in five weeks.

I loved having Jubilee there. The days and, eventually, weeks just flew by. My mind was kept away from whatever horrors might await us back on earth. Although we spent long hours training and on bridge duty, I also spent some happy times swimming, playing with Aurora, playing cards, or just hanging out in the rec room with the others. Jubilee was clearly delighted to be back among us. Needless to say, both Rogue and Gambit were happier than I'd ever seen them. Several times I caught her taking sideways glances at her engagement ring as if she needed to remind herself it was there. And even Wolverine was cool. He and I hadn't been getting along too well as of late but we just kind of made a tacit agreement to forget our differences. (I mean, not that Wolverine ever really likes to "talk things out" anyway.) He went back to training Jubilee and I in karate.

Colossus, however, didn't join us for karate any longer. His free time was spent with Elena. Nightcrawler expressed an interest to join us for karate training, and soon was working alongside us. Gotta hand it to "Wolvie." He pisses me off at times but he's a great teacher. By this point, I felt as though I could kick anyone's butt using karate, with or without my mutant powers.

I was getting used to the changing nature of my friendship with Hank. He and Panda continued to ensure they were spending time with me, and that I also got one-on-one time with Hank. I appreciated that. I even got to brush Hank a few times just like the old days. Yeah, I guess I was still jealous. What can I say? It would be easier if Panda was superficial or somehow unlikable, but she was really just as great as Hank was. I struggled every day to be happy for Hank when my heart hurt and I really wanted to go back to being his number one.

After not long, the Professor used Cerebro II to make contact with Shaman from Alpha Flight. The X-men were sitting down to dinner one evening when he described the encounter.

The group now ate in the large mess hall, their old tradition of eating in sick bay having been completely put aside. Nightcrawler had asked once why they ever used to eat in the infirmary. The X-men had begun doing that so that they could keep an eye on Jubilee at all times, during the dark days when she'd been traumatized out of her mind. They had also done it because the mess hall was far away from all the other central areas of the ship and they had needed to conserve dilithium.

"Shaman and I were in contact for quite some time today," the Professor began. "He and the other two surviving members of Alpha Flight very much want to join us."

"That would be marvelous," Storm said. "Shaman's healing power would be very useful."

Wolverine nodded, remembering his days in Alpha Flight. "The twins are powerful too. They both can fly at hyper speed. They can run and swim at hyper speed too."

"Professor," Storm asked, "did Shaman tell you any information about the condition of mutants on earth? We have only been away from earth for about 7 weeks, but I wonder if there has been any change since we liberated that camp."

"He did not have a lot of concrete information," the Professor said, shaking his head. "He and the others have been living underground and on the run ever since they returned to earth. Shaman is very tired of living underground. They often have trouble receiving information about what is going on in the outside world. However," he paused, "Shaman did say the rumors are that the situation for mutants is getting worse."

No one had any objection to Shaman, Northstar and Marie joining up with the X-men; in fact, the prospect of receiving more fighters was welcome news. When Freedom came closer to earth, they would determine the specifics of meeting up with Alpha Flight.

Wolverine and Storm lay wrapped in each other's arms. A long, tiring day of training for them had ended with an intense bout of lovemaking---actually, with several different rounds of lovemaking which served to relieve their tension and bring them both immense pleasure. The scent of their passion hung in the air.

Storm was exhausted, every muscle in her body fatigued. She felt content too----at least physically content, if not completely content emotionally. She rearranged her pillow into a more comfortable position and fell back against it.

One of Wolverine's hands made its way towards her thigh and began to caress it.

"No, Logan," Storm murmured, picking up his hand and removing it from her body. The last few hours had been wonderful, but physically her strength was depleted and she would not be able to last another bout.

"Sorry, darlin'," Logan said. Her fragrant aroma filled his nostrils, her taste was still on his lips, the warmth of her body delicious. Her chocolate skin glistened with a fine sheen of perspiration. Storm was such a woman. Wolverine could hardly be blamed for wanting some more. Slightly chagrined, he removed his hand back to where it had been.

An idea popped into Storm's head. Although she was tired, perhaps this was the time to bring up what she had been wanting to discuss for a short while now. "You are so powerful, Logan. Your vigor is amazing."

"It's the healing factor, darlin'"

"Perhaps. But I think part of it is **you.** Making love with you is such an amazing experience, I thank the Goddess every day that I asked you. Never in my life have I been with anyone as…skilled as you."

Wolverine could not resist a smile at the praise. He knew she'd been enjoying it, but it was still good to hear that. He was about to return the compliment when Storm spoke again.

"I almost feel guilty keeping you all to myself," Storm said. "Especially given your stamina and your ability to give and receive such pleasure for so long."

Wolverine lifted his head from the pillow. Her tone had taken on a new nuance. Where was she going with this?

"There are other women who want you, Logan."

He grunted a reply. He could smell when someone was attracted to him, Storm knew that. Jean was attracted to him but she would never betray Scott, and it hardly mattered now as so many lightyears separated them. Of course, he had known for quite some time that there **was** another….

"There is one in particular who wants you. Have you considered giving in to her?" Storm continued.

Logan propped himself up on one elbow and gently turned Storm towards himself. "What are you saying, Ororo?" he asked, calling her by her rarely-used birth name. He looked into her eyes.

Storm smiled. "I'm talking about Jubilee. She's never known anything like what we're experiencing. She wants you. Why not let -----"

"No!" Wolverine said, releasing Storm's shoulder, shocked at her words. "No way. Never. She is the last female I'd ever sleep with."

Storm's smile never waned. "She's an adult now, Logan. She's 22 years old."

Wolverine shook his head. "Her age don't matter. The answer is `no', for a million reasons. I can't believe you're askin' this."

"What are the reasons?" Storm asked gently, silently chiding herself for disrupting her satisfied mood like this. Wolverine was quiet for a few moments. Storm prodded him softly, "Hmmm?" she asked.

"I don't care if she's 22, she's still too young," he finally said.

"Well, everyone is too young for you, including me. We do not know how old you are, except that you are very old indeed." Storm paused and then chuckled, "Moira MacTaggert is probably too young for you!"

Wolverine didn't return her levity. "Jubilee's like my kid sister. I'm not gonna screw up our relationship by doin' something that like."

"Maybe you need to view the situation differently. Instead of seeing it as a chance to mess up a relationship, maybe it would enhance the relationship."

Wolverine shook his head and muttered, "No way."

Storm continued, "Jubilee has never had a lover. She's never experienced lovemaking. It would be so wonderful if you would be the one to teach her, to open the doors for her and show her how incredible it can be. You would be giving a wondrous gift to someone you love. And you would also gain some pleasure from it too, I'm sure."

"Storm, stop this. I don't even wanna think 'bout this. It's not gonna happen, ever."

"But Logan, Jubilee needs----"

He cut her off. "What's the deal, Storm? Why are you askin' me this? You wanna get rid of me?"

"Not at all. Never," Storm said passionately. "Our lovemaking is the highlight of my day. But Jubilee and I….could share you. We could take turns. I am certainly not proposing a threesome or anything like that, but perhaps you could alternate spending a night with me and the next night with her. Or whatever you wanted. So we would not ----"

"You can stop explaining, `cause it ain't gonna happen." He paused. He didn't want to think about this anymore, but a disturbing question flickered in his mind and he couldn't get rid of it. "Did Jubilee put you up to this?"

"No. I suggested it to her because I noticed how lonely she has seemed, and she has told me in the past how much she craves…this. She told me it would be alright for me to ask at least. She needs to experience lovemaking."

"If she'd stayed back on An'zhina, there were a bunch of mutants she could've started dating." As he said the words, Wolverine didn't like the thought. Whoever she started dating, he would need to pre-screen and approve….if any guy hurt her, he'd make him pay.

"None of them, I'm sure, would have had your prowess. No man I've ever been with has come anywhere near your ability. Besides," she breathed, "Jubilee is attracted to you."

"I know. I can smell it and she ain't the only one either. I ain't gonna have sex with everyone who wants me. I ain't a machine. I ain't something you own to be `shared.'"

"I did not mean it that way, Logan and you know it. However, I see that I am not going to change your mind."

"You got it."

Storm sighed. "Now I'm uncertain what to tell Jubilee. She will be so disappointed. Perhaps I'll tell her that I simply couldn't get up the nerve to ask."

Wolverine fought to refrain from growling. "That's your problem. You shouldn't have asked in the first place."

Wolverine turned his back to her and tried to sleep. So many things bothered him. The thought of making love to Jubilee bothered him. The thought of having to see her the next day bothered him, as did the thought that she would be disappointed. A few other things irritated him too. The thought that he might enjoy making love to Jubilee bothered him. He tried to sleep but his mind kept coming back to one more thing. The thought that Storm asked him hurt. `If I'm so remarkable, why don't she wanna keep me to herself?'

Storm also took her time falling asleep, missing feeling Wolverine against her. She sincerely was sad for Jubilee. She felt something else too, though. She was glad that she would not have to share Wolverine. `What does it matter?' she asked herself. `I've never owned his heart and I never will. Sharing his body wouldn't have made a difference either.'

The rest of the X-men had been gone for nearly two weeks now. Scott was putting Charlotte down for the evening, after having finished his daily ritual of reading to her. The baby reached up for her father and held one of his fingers. Scott looked with adoration down at the little girl. Even though Charlotte was now nine months old, Scott could still hardly believe that he was a father. Jean reassured him constantly that he was doing a wonderful job at fatherhood. Scott smiled, looking down at his daughter and was able to feel the love for him that the baby had. `Jean must be right. I'm doing ok with this,' he told himself.

Jean entered the room, walking right up to Scott. The couple exchanged a quick kiss.

"You look tired, my love," Scott said.

"You feel tired," Jean said, sensing his emotional state and resting her head on his shoulder for a bit.

Soon afterwards, they undressed for bed and lay down together. It was still early, but their bodies cried out for rest. "You want to talk before we sleep?" Scott asked.

"Yes," Jean said, curled up against Scott.

"This is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I think it's harder than being leader of the X-men." There was no need to clarify what Scott was talking about. The past two weeks had been grueling for the two.

"I try to view it as a way to test our mettle at parenting. In a way, we're parenting all these people here."

"I'll try to look at it that way. I am starting to see some results, though. That's encouraging." Scott was working in groups with nearly all the rescued mutants. One need that had been identified had to do with self-esteem. All of the mutants, no matter what their age, had grown up absorbing society's message that they were worthless, a mistake of nature, a freak, evil, soulless, etc. During the too-few days that the Professor had been on An'zhina, he and Scott had worked on some programs to instill self-confidence and a sense of self-worth in these people. The program began with the mutants talking about growing up, the messages they heard from parents, teachers, friends, religion, etc. They then worked on a number of different activities designed to give them a sense of confidence and trust.

"The program you and the Professor worked on is wonderful. I think it'll benefit all of our people."

"I think so too. I need to remember to call Queen Marina though. I bet she can help us order some books that will make the program even better." Scott paused. He felt Jean snuggle a bit closer to him. "How are you doing?" he asked gently. "I know you've been struggling a bit."

Jean was working on group healing sessions with the female mutants. She sighed. "I almost don't want to talk about it. It's harder than I thought it would be."

"So you don't want to talk about it now?"

Jean sighed. "I don't think so. Though I appreciate you asking me about it. I need to put it out of my head for a bit." No doubt for Jean that this was one of the most difficult things she had ever worked on. Listening to the women recount the numerous and repeated sexual assaults they had lived through was nothing short of horrific. After all the healing ceremonies she and the others had experienced, Jean had told herself she was alright and then promptly banished what she'd lived through to the back of her mind. Dealing with the rape survivors forced her to think about it day in and day out. `And now,' Jean thought to herself, `the others are on their way to earth and will return with who-knows how many survivors who've lived through the same thing. There won't be any end to it. And I've got another baby on the way….'

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Scott prompted again, sensing her emotional state through their psy-link.

"Thank you, sweetie," Jean said. "I know you care about me. But I'm so tired right now, I think I just need to sleep some." Just moments after the words fell from her lips, she drifted off into unconsciousness.

Scott was grateful that she was able to sleep so easily. Charlotte, too, was a sound and quiet sleeper----which truly was a blessing. Scott hoped he'd soon join them in sleep. He, too, wondered when a rest break would be in sight. Since the other X-men had departed, he and Jean had made love only once. They were so tired all the time. But even if they didn't have as much time for sex as he would have liked, they still held each other and expressed words of love every day.

"You and Storm did what??" I asked, not believing the words Jubilee had spoken.

Jubilee just smiled and laughed, her eyes shining bright. "Oh, I **so** hope he agrees to it!" was all she said.

Jubilee and I were eating breakfast together in her room one morning, with Jubilee spoon feeding Aurora. (Aurora, by the way, clearly missed Charlotte.) Back at the mansion, neither of us had been big on starting the day with breakfast but by now it was an old habit. It was hard to get through a rigorous morning of training without some fuel. On the days I skipped it, I was starving by lunchtime.

I shook my head. "So let me get this straight. Storm is going to ask Wolverine to sleep with you??"

"That's the plan," she said with obvious merriment.

My mouth was still hanging open. "Well, I'm shocked. Storm agreed to this??"

Jubilee shrugged. "Yeah. Our hope is for me and Wolvie to have the same type of relationship that he and Storm have."

"Like, where you sleep together but aren't a couple?"

"Basically."

My head swam. "Is that going to really be alright with you? I mean, don't you want more? Like a real relationship?"

"Look around you, Bobby. How many eligible men do you see lining up to have a relationship with me?"

Mentally, I ran down the list of all the men on the ship. "Well, what about Nightcrawler?" He was the only single man on board who might make a suitable partner for Jubilee.

"Nightcrawler? Kurt's nice and all, but he's way too quiet and serious for me. I'm not really attracted to him either. He's never expressed any sort of interest in me---I don't think he's into having a girlfriend or anything like that."

"What about Marrow?" I asked, smiling. "Then you could be gay! Then you and I would have something else to bond over!"

Jubilee chuckled. "Sorry, but I can't see myself with another girl." She then added, "Especially Marrow." Among the assortment of bones protruding from Marrow's body, I had noticed she recently had a small one poking out the middle of her chin and forming what appeared to be a sharp point.

"Okay," I said, still trying to digest this. "Jubilee, you've never had a boyfriend before, have you?" She shook her head `no.' "Okay. So let's say you and Wolverine do the nasty. You're going to want more from him. You're going to want a real relationship, a romantic boyfriend, and you're going to be very sad when he doesn't want that."

"Storm and I discussed that," she said, simply. "Like I told you, she and I have been talking about it a bit since she came back to An'zhina. She described her relationship with Wolvie. It would be fine with me, too."

I shook my head. "I don't see it. I just can't see it at all. And I still can't believe that Storm is okay with this!"

"Look, she described their relationship to me as saying they're good friends who sleep together and care about each other, but that's it."

"And you really think that's going to work for you??"

"Sheesh, listen to how judgmental you are! I never judge your romantic life."

"Of course not---I don't have one!"

She and I shared a laugh over that. She went on. "You know what I mean."

I took a breath and paused to take a swig of my orange juice. "Okay," I said again, still trying to get my arms around this scenario. "Have you thought of how this might impact your relationship with Wolverine? Storm had a different sort of relationship with him----more like friends, peers. But Wolverine's like your uncle now. You enter into something like this and that changes everything. It might not be a change for the better."

"Storm told me that change is a part of life and we need to accept it." As Jubilee said the words so calmly, I wondered how Storm really felt. Was she really completely fine with sharing the wild man? A few times in the past several months I'd taken a glimpse of Storm looking at Logan, and I thought that maybe I saw something in her eyes that belied a deeper feeling. But who knew? Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me.

"Jubes, what if----"

"Don't call me that!"

"Sorry. Jubilee, what if he says no? I mean, he might not want to do this because of your relationship, the way you were like his kid sister for so many years."

"I'm a grown woman. I can deal. I've dealt with far worse in my lifetime."

Jubilee and I went back and forth for a little while longer. I still couldn't really grasp the situation. I mean, I knew she'd had a crush on Wolverine like forever. So had I. But I never really thought she'd every suggest something so bold. Maybe I underestimated her----Jubilee has always been a gutsy girl. I've heard so many stories of her daring spirit starting from when she first joined the X-men.

But I saw that she clearly was resolute and happy with her decision to ask. "Okay," I said again. "Just one thing. If he says yes….**details**! I want details! In fact, I want every single detail! No—better than that, I want a camera in the room focussed on Wolverine!"

She and I both cracked up. "I can't help you on the camera, but I will give you details! I promise."

"And who knows? If he says yes to you, maybe **I'll** ask him!"

Later on that morning, Jubilee and the other X-men assembled in the Danger Room for their first training session of the day. Jubilee looked intently at Storm but noticed Storm appeared totally focussed on her training. She did not meet Jubilee's gaze at all. After the morning sessions, Storm remained with Marrow in the gym, for the purpose of giving the younger woman additional training tips and working on one-on-one scenarios. Jubilee resolved to corner Storm at lunch.

Wolverine, meanwhile, wanted desperately to get out of the afternoon karate session he'd scheduled with Jubilee (and Bobby.) One downside of having a healing factor is that faking injury or illness is not possible---not that he would ever do so anyway.

When Jubilee arrived to the mess hall for lunch, Storm was already sitting next to Nightcrawler and across from Moira. The three appeared to be having an intense conversation, so intense that Storm rarely even looked away from the two others. Jubilee could not get a seat near the Wind Rider.

Wolverine cancelled the afternoon karate session, muttering words to the effect of replacing Angel on bridge duty so that Angel could spend more time with Psylocke.

Storm hated the idea of avoiding Jubilee. She especially hated the idea of possibly having to lie to her----this ran completely contrary to her nature. As Wolverine had told her the night before, how to tell Jubilee was now her problem. She would need to find the best way to deal with it.

Meanwhile, in sick bay, Beast and Panda had finished spending the morning getting Ramon up to speed on several different pieces of equipment in the medical lab. The young mutant was becoming a very well trained medical assistant. "It is time for me to attend my afternoon training session in the Danger Room" Hank then said. "I will return in a few hours."

"Have a good session. I'm going to keep at these reports." Panda had been reviewing, in her spare time, the research Hank had amassed pertaining to different types of stun gas. Next to the computer stood a vase full of replicated flowers that Panda had given Hank.

Before Hank left, the couple shared a quick kiss. Panda then turned her head and watched as he left sick bay. She then slumped back into her sturdy chair and sighed.

Panda wished desperately for a girlfriend, a confidant. She and Hank shared nearly everything. They also worked together nearly all day. But because Panda spent so much of her time in sick bay, she had not really been able to develop close friendships with any of the other women, or with anyone other than Hank, really. Bobby was nice enough, but Panda didn't need telepathic powers to sense his strong jealousy. Everyone was cordial and pleasant with her, but there wasn't anyone she could really ask advice for regarding personal matters; there wasn't anyone---other than Hank--- who functioned as a best friend. And right now Panda was feeling quite a bit of uncertainty.

`Why haven't Hank and I made love yet?' was the question that she couldn't get out of her head.

She loved Hank. Of that there was absolutely no doubt. But why hadn't Hank initiated any lovemaking yet? Panda went through all the possible explanations in her head. She knew he loved her. Hank was not religious, so that could not be an explanation. And virtually every night, the couple engaged in what a teenager might refer to as a "make out session." But it never went further than that.

A nagging doubt jabbed at Panda's mind and she couldn't get rid of it. `Maybe he thinks I'm ugly….Why not? Everyone else does. And Hank looks like me but….what if he unconsciously buys into the normal standard for female beauty?' She knew that she herself could not be farther away from the conventionally attractive---she was big, wide, and furry. All the other women on the ship---Storm, Rogue, Jubilee, Psylocke, etc----were beautiful by any standard. `Maybe he just doesn't **want** to make love to me,' she thought glumly.

Of course the simple resolution would have been to ask Hank. Or to initiate something herself. But for reasons she couldn't explain to herself, Panda held back. `I know what it is,' she told herself. `I'm afraid of the answer. I'm afraid he doesn't want me.' Panda turned her attention back to the computer, longing for her old best friend from high school. She decided to settle for immersing herself in her work and waiting.

That evening, Storm knocked on the door to Jubilee's room. Jubilee welcomed her older friend inside.

"I am sorry that I could not come by earlier," Storm said, as she sat down on the chair. Jubilee sat on the bed opposite her. "I just finished up my bridge duty shift." Storm had resolved to cease avoiding Jubilee and to give her the news. Putting it off had not helped anyone one bit.

"No prob," Jubilee said, leaning forward. "So," she began, her eyes shining, "did you get a chance to talk to Wolverine?"

"I did."

Jubilee's face fell. Just from looking at Storm, she knew what the answer was going to be. "Oh no," she said.

"I'm sorry, Jubilee. Wolverine cares about you a great deal and he does not wish to do anything that could disturb your relationship."

"But the two of you have been lovers for a long time now, and it hasn't hurt your friendship at all!" Jubilee countered.

Storm knew only too well. And they had not been able to move beyond friendship at all, either. `That's alright,' Storm told herself. `I don't want to be more than friends with him. What we have is fine….' Even as Storm attempted to reassure herself, she knew she was not being truthful regarding her feelings for Logan. In fact, during the past 24 hours the more she tried to tell herself she didn't care, the more she knew she did care.

"I know," Storm replied. "However, he feels that the relationship he and I had is quite different than the one that he has with you. I see that now, too."

Jubilee looked down and shook her head. "Oh Storm. What have I done? Is he gonna not want to be friends with me any more? Is it gonna be real awkward now?"

"Possibly things will be awkward for a bit," Storm said, calmly. "However, I think they would have been more uncomfortable had you and he had gone through with it. I think it is better this way." She paused, "Besides, you know Logan. I believe he will be able to continue on as if nothing happened. And truly nothing **has** happened. I would say to continue on relating to him as you always have. In all probability, he will forget that the request was ever made."

Jubilee nodded. "You're right. Besides, who are we fooling? She might be lightyears away, but Jean is the only one he really wants."

Storm looked down at her hands, which she folded in her lap. "Yes," she breathed, some of the sorrow in her voice being detected by Jubilee, "yes….you are right."

The starship Freedom drew closer to earth. Serving on bridge duty was becoming a less-boring and slightly more nerve-wracking experience, as constant scans of the area needed to be run. One never knew where an FOH vessel might be lurking.

Colossus was on bridge duty when it happened. The Professor knew that soon they would be within scanning distance of the earth, so he made his way to the bridge and joined Colossus.

"We will be in scanning range in about 3 minutes," Colossus reported, looking down at his monitor. Storm and Moira decided to join them on the bridge and stood behind the captain's and first officer's chairs.

"Putting image on monitor," Colossus reported a few moments later as Freedom entered scanning range of earth. The burly Russian pressed a few buttons and an image was placed on the viewscreen.

Moira could not restrain a gasp. Five FOH starships were patrolling earth.

So we finally came within scanning range of earth. When we were told about the FOH ships patrolling earth, it freaked me out a bit but I wasn't really surprised either. We knew they'd be expecting us. I guess this was their way of sending a message to us. And who knew what waited for us on the planet's surface at the next camp we would attempt to liberate?

Despite that, though, it looked as if they hadn't come up with any technology to detect our cloak still. None of those or any other ships approached us and we continued to move towards earth under stealth. We were just over 2 weeks away from earth.

Jubilee and I hung out one afternoon just after a karate session instructed by the object of our mutual lust. She and I had just finished showering and we walked back to the bridge where she was to begin her duty shift. I offered to hang out with her, so we scooped up Aurora and settled on the bridge.

"All I can say is that we must be the most in-shape mutants in the galaxy," I said, rubbing some warming salve into my thigh as I'd slightly strained the muscle earlier. Hank confirmed what I already knew---it was nothing serious. "I think every muscle in my body is defined and I'm stronger than I've ever been."

"Training every day will do that for you," Jubilee said, holding her baby but looking intently at a few different monitors. She, as everyone else, now took bridge duty very seriously. Aurora seemed to be sleepy and was less squirmy than normal. "Thanks to the karate training from Wolverine. I feel more confident than ever."

"Yeah, me too," I said, flexing one of my biceps and feeling it with the other hand. Hard as rock. "So how have things between you and our favorite Canuck been?" There was no need to clarify exactly what I meant.

Jubilee shrugged. "He's just been acting like nothing happened. And as Storm told me the other day, nothing **did** happen. Can't say I'm surprised at the way he's acting."

"Well, at least you asked. Ur—I mean---Storm asked. But at least the request was made. You'd always be wondering if nothing was said."

"Yeah, I know. I don't regret that I asked but I'm just gonna try to forget about it, like he apparently has. I'm just going to dedicate myself to this mission and helping the mutants we rescue."

"Trust me, once we beam a bunch of camp survivors on board this ship, we'll both be too busy to mourn over the fact that we're both single and not gettin' any!!"

As Jubilee and I laughed, the Professor entered the bridge. "Hi, Professor," I said, reflexively standing up as I saw the serious look on his face. Jubilee immediately turned back to her monitor, steadying Aurora with one arm so as not to drop her. "Is anything wrong?" I asked.

"No, nothing is wrong," he said, maneuvering his hover chair over to one of the consoles. "However, I have made telepathic contact with Shaman from Alpha Flight. We need to move our ship to these coordinates," he said, punching some numbers onto the keyboard.

"Are we going to meet up with them soon?" Jubilee asked.

"Their departure from earth has been hastened as FOH came close to discovering their shuttle. Several days ago, they engaged their cloaking device and headed out into space. They felt that was the safest thing to do with FOH on their heels. Shaman communicated to me that he does not think FOH followed them into space. However, he is uncertain."

"But if they're cloaked….?" I began.

"Northstar was concerned that their shuttle might be leaking ion. They lack the equipment on board the shuttle to detect it." The Professor looked intently at his monitor. "These are the coordinates Shaman tells me they are at. Our sensors do not detect any FOH ships in their immediate area."

Jubilee pressed a few buttons on her console. "It doesn't look like they're leaking ion either."

"I think they are safe," the Professor said, looking relieved.

"So will we rendezvous with them on the way to earth?"

"Yes. If all goes according to schedule, we will pick them up in about a week."

"We need all the help we can get," Jubilee summarized.

After a very intense morning of training, I was sitting back on one of the benches, trying to get my breathing and heart rate down to normal. I had fought very well and felt satisfied.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched an interaction taking place in the gym. Marrow had been part of our training group that morning and, as she often did, she wanted some additional training time. Looks like she and Wolverine agreed to engage in some one-on-one fighting. I watched their struggle, best I could from across the gym. She was definitely a formidable opponent. Because her mutation involved breaking off her bones and using them as weapons, without a weapon she really could fight only at close range. That would be tough, I speculated. I loved having the ability to shoot out ice from my fingers---I could immobilize people from long distances, which really helped and I didn't need a rifle. Wolverine and the others had been training me to fight at close range, but who could blame me for preferring to keep some distance between me and the enemy?

I had been looking away from a bit when I heard yelling from the other end of the gym. Marrow and Wolverine were shouting at each other, both screaming loud enough to wake the dead. I shrugged and stayed where I was----those two were the last ones I'd try to break up from fighting. I heard Wolverine yell at her something like, "You go too far!" which was pretty amazing, coming from him. What I could infer from my vantage point was that she had used some dishonorable tactics during their fight and he was pissed about that.

When they were done yelling, they went back to hand-to-hand combat. He defeated her. They later walked past me on the way to the locker rooms, and I noticed Marrow giving him a look….it was a look that seemed to convey respect. It amazed me, but I guess you learn something new every day.

The days passed and the X-men continued to get closer and closer to earth. And Gambit was starting to feel some frustration. `Maybe Gambit was wrong to propose to Rogue at dis time,' he thought to himself. He didn't at all question the proposal---he knew he wanted to be married to her very, very much. But he now questioned the **timing** of the proposal.

"What's wrong wit' me, chere?" Gambit asked one evening over dinner. The couple had elected to dine together in their room so they could have some quiet time together. The cozy room was cramped with the addition of the table and two chairs, but it all fit.

"I can tell you're gettin' tired, Remy," Rogue said softly. "You haven't seemed quite yourself, sugar, these last coupla days." She gently placed one of her gloved hands over his.

Gambit looked down at his food. He sighed. "Gambit loved bein' an X-man dese last few years. I feel good 'bout everyt'ing I've done wit' the X-men over the years. But…." His voice trailed off.

"But what, Remy?" she prompted.

"Sometimes Gambit don't feel like he wants to be rescuin' mutants or fighting FOH. Lately I been wishing we back on dat moon, planning a weddin' and havin' children."

Rogue smiled. "Oh, sweetie," she said, getting up and placing her hands on Remy's shoulders. "I can't blame ya at all. We're all workin' so hard."

"Gambit don't blame Scott and Jean at all for what they be doin'. Seems dey got it good."

"They do," Rogue admitted, "but you gotta think they're real busy too, with that baby and all those mutants they're takin' care of too."

"It was hard to be on An'zhina for a week enjoying dat beautiful moon and gettin' engaged and havin' fun. And now we get back out here, back to training, back to havin' to t'ink `bout Friends of Humanity."

Rogue nodded. "It is tough. I'd rather be swimmin on An'zhina or be back on the top of that hill where you proposed to me. But we can do it, Remy. Think of all the good we're doing the world. Think of the mutants we're rescuing."

"I know, chere. I know. But Gambit want to t'ink dat someday soon we have what Scott and Jean do. Have some time on An'zhina to take a break from dis schedule and to have kids. Raise a family, spend time wit' each other."

"We'll have that some day, Remy." Rogue was focussed on trying to lift Gambit's mood. Not wanting to burden his mind any more, she did not betray her fear that she would never be able to bear a child. "We'll have it. Just for now we gotta stay focussed on freeing the mutants." She continued to rub his shoulders, trying to help him feel less tense.

"But we been fightin; for so long, Rogue. We spend so much of our lives on de run and fightin' battles. Gambit tired of fightin' and he don't like trainin' the new mutants either. Dat Marrow be a handful!"

Rogue smiled. She knew Marrow had been getting on Gambit's nerves lately. Marrow's often abrasive personality was a challenge to deal with. "At least some of the new recruits have good fighting spirit," Rogue said, trying to cheer him. "Like Marrow might be pretty annoying but I gotta admire her guts. She ain't lost her spunk."

Gambit shook his head. "She jus' want revenge. All she talk `bout is killing FOH soldiers."

"Can't say I blame her, "Rogue said, shrugging. "I sure wouldn't mind inflicting some pain on them."

Gambit turned his head and looked into her emerald eyes. "Really?"

"Of course, really! After working with those camp survivors those weeks I just feel more and more like we're way too kind and gentle with FOH."

Remy tried to select his words carefully. "Gambit share your anger but….."

"But what, Swamp Rat?"

"But killing is wrong. Gambit don't feel right `bout killing dem. It jus' bring us down to deir level."

Rogue dropped her hands from Gambit's shoulders and sat back down in her seat. "You felt otherwise with those soldiers we killed on this ship. What's the difference?"

After a pause, Gambit finally answered, :"Gambit don't know. I ask myself dat every now and den during the pas' two years."

"I haven't thought about it much at all," she said truthfully. "I was so angry then….." her voice trailed off too.

"Gambit angry den too. Gambit never been so furious in his life as he was back den. And back den, killing dem seem like the right thing to do, no question `bout it. So I don't know what the difference is, chere. But we're X-men, chere. Killing people is wrong."

Rogue shook her head. "I dunno Remy. FOH don't think twice 'bout killing and raping and torturing our people. If I accidentally kill one or two FOH-ers in combat during our next rescue mission, I can honestly say I won't feel one twinge of guilt." She paused. "Now Marrow wants them to suffer and that's a different thing, I guess. Even the thought of that, though, don't bother me much."

"It bother Gambit," he said, after mulling over it for a minute. "Dey human beings too. If we be okay with killin' and torturin' FOH, den what's the difference between us and Magneto?"

"I dunno, Remy. Maybe you can't feel as strongly as I do cause you weren't raped and you didn't spend every day for 5 weeks workin' with these girls who survived it." She said the words without anger or malice, but her aggravation towards Gambit was growing just as she sensed that his mood was not elevated at all.

"Rogue, now dat ain't fair. I know I didn't suffer the same way you or the other ladies did but dat don't mean I'm not as outraged 'bout it as you are. But if we go around killin' FOH soldiers, we bring ourselves down to deir level. We gotta show to ourselves dat we better dan dat, we above dat. Livin' for revenge is a terrible way to live. Ask Warren."

Rogue shrugged, looking down at her dinner. It no longer looked appetizing to her. She wasn't in the mood to continue debating either. "Well, maybe we just gonna agree to disagree on this one, Remy."

"I guess so, chere."

The frustration Gambit had had when he began dinner was not at all abated. Now he knew discussing it with Rogue wasn't going to help, either. How could she support killing FOH soldiers? Wasn't that attitude the one that the X-men had battled against Magneto for so many years? Or was this a concession that Magneto had been right all along and was now gloating from his grave? But no, no….killing and torturing FOH soldiers would not bring back any of the mutants they had killed nor would it erase the torture they had inflicted. Xavier always pushed Gambit—and all the X-men--- to be his best, to do the right thing. Was Rogue now abandoning that quest for goodness?

During the past few years, Rogue had become fairly comfortable asking Jean for relationship advice. One idea Jean had suggested rang in Rogue's ears: never go to bed angry. Yet she and Gambit, when done picking at their dinner, had muttered `goodnights' to each other and slept on their own sides of the bed.

"I hear we meet up with Alpha Flight soon," Colossus said. We were sitting at lunch one day, at a table along with Wolverine, Jubilee, Nightcrawler, Psylocke and Angel. It was odd to be in the huge mess hall, only the seven of us sitting at one long table and no one else milling around. Psylocke was very quiet during the whole lunch and for the past few weeks, she had seemed disinterested in almost everything. Angel sat next to her as always. Neither of them spoke much. I knew the Professor was continuing to work with Psylocke on a daily basis, but just from glancing at Warren it was easy to tell that the results were not happening as quickly as he wanted.

"It should be interesting with Alpha Flight here," Nightcrawler said in his thickly accented but quietly clipped German tone. "We need all the help we can get." He took a bite of his sandwich and then turned towards Wolverine. "What are they like, Logan? You used to work with them."

"The rest of us meet them for little bit when they on our ship after we rescued them," Colossus said.

Wolverine nodded. "They weren't really themselves then."

I nodded. "They were all pretty traumatized."

"I can't even imagine," Jubilee said, shaking her head. "With all of their team except those three killed. How heartbreaking."

I was glad she didn't pursue that line of memories. Instead, Wolverine spoke. "I can tell you what I remember of `em. But it's been a long time since I was in Alpha Flight."

He tilted his head back slightly and seemed to be reminiscing. "Shaman was real quiet and serious. You could always count on him to get the job done. Can't say I knew him well though. Northstar was arrogant and full o' himself. He could be a jerk but he always did the right thing in the end. I liked him. His sister was hard to get to know….she was different almost each time you saw her."

"I wonder how much their experience has changed them," Kurt said.

Jubilee nodded. "Who knows? We're not the same people we were two years ago because of everything we've lived through." She looked around the table. "Hey, Wolvie, pass me the salt."

I inwardly chuckled at Jubilee always getting away with calling him "Wolvie." It truly looked like nothing in their relationship had changed since her "indecent proposal" and all was well. I was still floored that she asked him. I gotta admire her guts. Deep down, I really wondered: had he even considered it? Or had he rejected the idea right away? I would've liked to have been a fly on that wall!

We continued to chat away at the lunch table. Interestingly, during the past few weeks, the conversation had rarely turned towards what awaited us on earth. Or at least, I hadn't really discussed it much with anyone. But I felt all the training had paid off, and that I was strong and could handle anything.

Several X-men worked at their training in the Danger Room. "Got you!" were the words Wolverine heard as he found the steel giant that was Colossus crash into him and smother him in a bear hug as Wolverine's hands were enveloped in a solid block of ice. Momentarily unable to extend his claws, Wolverine had to admit to defeat at the hands of Colossus and Iceman, as the Russian pinned him to the ground.

Wolverine knew why he had lost that bout. His mind was anywhere but on training. It was instead on the white-haired woman who was facing off against Gambit and Nightcrawler on the other side of the gym.

The minute their session was over, Wolverine followed Storm as the weather witch headed for a changing screen in the women's locker room. "Storm!" he breathed, placing his arms around her.

Inwardly, Storm chuckled. `I may never possess his heart, but his body cannot resist me!' she told herself, even as she knew that was no longer sufficient. She felt Wolverine's breath at her neck, his tongue striking out to lap at the base of her neck and nibble on her ear. He exhaulted in the slightly salty taste of her skin and her perspiration from her intense workout. His frantic hands touched her, rubbed her through her clothing. He cupped her breasts, squeezing and stroking. A whispered plea, "Please?"

Storm tilted her head back. She knew he would stop the instant she said no. But she also knew the magic he was able to work on her body. "Yes," she answered him, turning around to face Logan.

Their sex was frenzied and wild that day. Neither wished to leave the locker room area, even though they could be walked in on at any time. Storm though it unlikely, though given that Rogue was on bridge duty and Jubilee and Marrow were now training in the Danger Room. Of course their session could end at any time and…..Storm reached a point where she did not care.

Wolverine literally ripped off her clothing which fell to her feet in shreds. He brought his fingers to her core and rubbed, stroked and probed until her natural wetness bedewed his fingers. Logan then opened his pants and pulled out his throbbing member, already dripping sweet pre-cum.

Storm glanced at their immediate surroundings, wondering what position they….when Wolverine backed her against a wall and hoisted her up. She placed her arms around his shoulders, her long legs wrapped around his waist and they fucked standing up, against the wall. Storm moaned as she felt the beautiful tension build up with each powerful stroke of his cock. Hot, hard and wet were the only sensations she cared about. "Yes, Logan….yeees," she urged him on as his hips moved at a more frantic pace. They both cried out as they reached a crescendo together.

Wolverine was so wrapped up in his pleasure that he either did not notice or did not care that they weren't alone. Bobby occasionally changed in the women's locker room when no one else was using it as changing around other men still brought up issues for him. He watched the couple, stroking himself, feverishly wishing he could be in Storm's place.

Later that day, Rogue caught up with Wolverine during the Canadian's bridge duty shift. She had to talk to him about something. Knowing that Logan liked to beat around the bush even less than she did, Rogue got right to the point.

"Do you ever regret what we did to the FOH soldiers on this ship?"

Wolverine looked at her. She had taken a seat next to him and was studying his features. "I mean, " Rogue went on, "do you ever wonder whether we did the right thing or if we were maybe wrong to kill them….and to hurt them before?"

Wolverine shook his head. "No. I ain't thought much about it. They got what they deserved." Why the hell did Rogue have to bring this up? Killing the soldiers had not haunted him one bit. However, what FOH did to deserve it greatly disturbed him whenever he thought of it. For a man who had seen much brutality in his lifetime, he had never really gotten over the sight of Jubilee when the soldiers had thrown her into their cell----her bruised and battered young body. `Those goddamn bastards,' Logan thought, `to inflict so much pain on a child who never did anything to them….' Other memories invaded his mind----the soldiers bragging about how much the women were crying and screaming. He shut his eyes and tried to erase the memories. There was never any question in his mind that executing the FOH soldiers had been the just and fair thing to do.

"I don't either," Rogue said. "I don't regret it. Sometimes I wonder….if I should though."

"Chuck would probably say we should," Wolverine stated flatly. It came out sounding harsher than he had intended, but Logan was not one to retract his words. He did not mean the comment to sound bitter towards Xavier.

"Yeah, I know. Oh well. What's done is done, right?" As abruptly as she had entered the bridge, Rogue left. Her own duty shift would start in a couple hours.

`What would Jean do?" that was the question Rogue had had on her mind almost all day. She and Remy had barely said two words to each other during breakfast or during training. He had not visited her, as he almost always did, during her bridge shift. And although she didn't care for some of the opinions he had expressed the night before, she was starting to miss him!

`Okay, Jean once told me that she and Scott **do** have occasional disagreements,' Rogue told herself. `Though I still kinda find that hard to believe. But what would Jean do now? Is it time to just eat crow and admit I miss him?' She would have loved to run this one by Storm but was not in the mood for recounting their argument.

Finally, Rogue settled on the direct approach. The next time she saw Gambit making his way down the hall, she threw her arms around him and said, "I miss you, Remy!"

Gambit smiled and laughed as he picked her up and spun her around. "Miss you too, chere."

"You know, we don't have to agree on everything," Rogue said, grinning.

"It would be boring if we did," Gambit conceded. "Den we'd be too much like…." He let his voice trail off, as they were in the middle of a main hallway and anyone could walk by. "….another couple," Gambit finished, smirking.

Rogue returned his mischievous smile. She added, "Though, you know, I heard they disagree at times too. In fact, Jean told me so."

"No!" Gambit said, pretending to be stunned. They laughed together, arm in arm, and headed back for their room.

Back on An'zhina, Scott came up with a brilliant idea. One evening, he had been sharing with some of the others tales of his years with the X-men.

"Where are Shadowcat and Morph?" one man asked innocently, after Scott had recounted an adventure that had involved them both.

"They were both killed when the Friends of Humanity destroyed the mansion," Scott said solemnly. He was able to remember them without feeling too much pain, though their loss still hurt him. He was just glad that those who were closest to him had survived.

The others then asked a lot about them, as well as about Banshee and others who had been killed. An idea popped into his mind and Scott mused aloud, "There should be a monument to them here on An'zhina. So that we make sure we won't forget them, and all the others who died in our struggle."

One man who had been in that conversation used to be a builder. He and Scott got to talking and then to gathering the supplies they would need. The very next day, anyone who was interested was given a role to play in the construction of a memorial. Jean suggested the memorial be created in honor of all the mutants who died at the face of prejudice. They then could include names and information about those they had known, such as Kitty.

With each passing day, more and more citizens of An'zhina wanted to be involved in this project. After not long, it seemed that everyone was working on it in one way or another. It proved a wonderful unifier for the people of An'zhina.

Jean had worked on the design of the monument too. Exhausted as she was with her work, she was cheered in the results. Many of the women were gradually getting better; she could see the progress. One of the women had been an artist and was leading the others in a sort of art therapy class. Meanwhile, Jean and Scott eager awaited their second baby. Their days were busy and full, but enjoyable too.

"We will be within transporter range in 10 minutes," Storm said, sitting in the captain's chair on the bridge.

"Is everything ready for the transport, Wolverine?" the Professor asked. He sat next to Storm on the bridge.

"Ready," he grunted via the intercom, standing at the controls in transporter room three.

The X-men had elected to beam on board the shuttle containing the members of Alpha Flight, rather than arranging for the shuttle to dock. As both vessels were cloaked, beaming the shuttle on board would be far easier.

"I am sensing six people on board the shuttle," the Professor said. Storm furrowed her brow, quizzically. Mentally, she counted down: Jeanne-Marie, Northstar, Shaman, Shaman's wife, and their daughter. Who was the sixth person?

Meanwhile, most of the rest of the X-men stood in the shuttle bay, preparing to meet the members of Alpha Flight and show them around. However, they all knew that there would not be a great deal of time for socializing and "catching up" ---they continued to get closer and closer to earth and knew the next battle with FOH loomed ahead.

"I've locked on their shuttle," Wolverine said. "I'm beamin' it aboard."

As the X-men watched, the shuttle crystalized inside the large bay. With the cloaking device turned off, the shuttle was placed in exactly the same spot it had occupied almost two years ago when Alpha Flight had departed in it.

The doors to the shuttle opened, and Shaman was the first to descend the shuttle's small staircase, several bags in hand. A Native woman and a girl of about 11 soon followed. Northstar exited the shuttle after them, carrying a bag over his shoulder. Psylocke stifled a gasp when she saw him; no one had mentioned to her that FOH had chopped off one of Northstar's arms. His left shirt sleeve hung limply at his side, unoccupied. Finally, Jeanne-Marie followed her brother, holding onto the hand of a squirming 7 year old boy.

Introductions were made all around. Shaman's wife was named Silver Moon and their daughter was called Lily Pearl. The sixth traveler was Jeanne-Marie's son, Stephan. Several of the X-men had to bite their tongues to keep from inquiring about Stephan. Cerebro II had revealed to them, months ago, that the boy's paternal grandparents were raising him and that his mother had been stripped of all custody and visitation rights for being a mutant. From the second Stephan stepped off the shuttle, it was clear that he detested his surroundings, as he complained to his mother. "I wanna go home!" and "I hate it here!" were phrases he continually whined. "I want to be back with grandma and grandpa!" he yelled at one point. Jeanne-Marie wearily hushed him best she could.

Many X-men began to speculate that Stephan's paternal grandparents had probably not consented to hand the boy over to his mother. `I should give them the benefit of the doubt though,' Storm reminded herself. `Perhaps the grandparents have passed away.' But she knew given the climate on earth, it was unlikely that Jeanne-Marie, a mutant and former member of Alpha Flight, would ever have been given custody no matter what might have happened to the grandparents.

The X-men escorted the Alpha Flight survivors to their rooms where they could deposit their meager belongings, and then led them on a tour of the ship. Shaman and Northstar both appeared in relatively good spirits, as well as could be expected, at least. Both men expressed desire to learn as much as possible about the ship functions. Jeanne-Marie was quite distracted and appeared disinterested.

"This is our reconstructed Danger Room" the Professor said, when they had reached the section of the gym that they had remodeled so long ago.

"How does it compare to the first one?" Shaman asked.

"It is not as complex or as thorough as its predecessor," Hank said. "But it is more than adequate."

"I look forward to using it," Northstar said.

"As do I," Shaman added.

Before the tour ended, the X-men were thanked profusely by Alpha Flight for rescuing them so long ago as well as for taking them in again. Shaman and Northstar reiterated that they would be glad to serve alongside the X-men in whatever way possible.

My heart had barely stopped thumping during our reunion with Alpha Flight. Just seconds after he stepped off the shuttle, Northstar and I had made eye contact.

I was flustered. I don't know why. And I couldn't think of what to say. It was kind of awkward because even though the shuttle bay was huge, there were more than a dozen warm bodies milling around. After introductions were made, we all fell into step behind the Professor's hover chair as he led us.

Northstar was standing next to me and still looking at me. I wanted to say something to him, but `Hi, how are you?' would have been lame. So I asked him if I could take his bag. I didn't want to focus on the disability that he now had, but he was missing a limb and I imagined he might want assistance. "I have a few other bags inside the shuttle. Maybe you could take those," he said, continuing to look intently at me. My heart kept dancing. His French accent was charming. I dashed inside the shuttle and hoisted several bags over my shoulders and in my arms.

All during the tour, Northstar and I kept exchanging glances. How could I have been so blasé about him last time he was aboard the ship? The man was beautiful. He had features like a story book elf, high and tapered. Yet masculine too. His eyes were delightful, especially the way they continued to gaze at me. I took a peek at his pointy ears which had escaped my notice before. I thought they were enchanting. His hair was black, with several shimmering white streaks throughout. Despite the missing arm, his build was muscular and powerful, while he also possessed grace. He moved sinuously, with the poise and presence of a dancer. He was a few inches taller than me, maybe six feet tall.

I wondered over and over again what I looked like to him. I'd always thought I was a good looking guy. But I don't have the ethereal beauty that Northstar has.

All too soon though, the tour was over. All the members of Alpha Flight said they could use some rest; even that whiny kid of Northstar's sister seemed wiped out. And my bridge duty shift was to begin in ten minutes, so I had to head on up to the bridge.

Usually during my turn at bridge duty, I play video games while simultaneously monitoring the different consoles. This time, I just stared at the screens and tried to force myself to pay attention to the various blimps that indicated normality. Yet every few seconds, my thoughts drifted back to a gentle but strong man with hair streaked white. My on-going lust for Wolverine had somehow vanished in the space of a few minutes. I wished Jubilee or Hank would magically appear on the bridge so I could share this with someone. Jubilee had been noticing how Northstar and I were noticing each other….what was keeping her from getting up here??

I checked my watch. One hour crept by at a snail's pace. Then a second hour. Damn. I still had three more hours until Marrow was scheduled to relieve me.

After an eternity, I heard the hum of the doors moving aside. `Jubilee's finally made it!' I thought to myself. I looked over my shoulder at the only entrance to the bridge.

It was Northstar.

"Hello, mon ami," he said to me. "I thought I would come up here and take another look at the main bridge." His face was placid but with a slight smile.

"Of course," I said. Okay that was pathetic. I scoured my mind trying to think of something intelligent to say. "You're not tired after your long journey?" Help!

"I took a nap and I'm fine now," he said. He didn't look like one who had just woken up though; his hair was combed and not one of those gorgeous locks was out of place. His eyes didn't look tired either….in fact, they looked engaged. "It is good to be in a room with a lot of space to move around in, after spending so long cooped up in that shuttle with five other people."

"I would imagine that would be hard. Our shuttles aren't very big."

"I've survived worse," he said nonchalantly. He looked around the bridge. "So perhaps you can show me some of the controls? I want to learn how things work here."

"I'd be glad to," I said. Northstar took a seat at the first officer's chair, right next to the captain's seat that I was occupying. I forced my brain to get in gear. "Perhaps I should first give you an overview of what all the controls are, and then I can teach you how to work each one."

Northstar nodded, leaning forward in his seat and looking at me.

"Well, this set of controls works the shields, and this set works the weaponry," I began, pointing at various buttons and switches as I spoke. "All of these controls are duplicated at the other stations too, so you see **there's** where those controls are at the first officer's station, where you're sitting now. Now here is the set of controls that deals with engine functions---though it's better to work with the engines from the engine room itself, but in case of an emergency, you can control those functions from here. These buttons here are the intercom and this…."

So we continued on. For nearly an hour, we were all down to business. He really wanted to learn this stuff, and as we X-men had discovered almost two years ago, controlling the ship's functions on Freedom was fairly simple.

I did notice that Jean-Paul (he asked me to call him Jean-Paul, rather than `Northstar') was visibly frustrated a few times. Given the absence of one of his arms, there were a few things he could not do and several things were awkward for him. I certainly couldn't blame him for getting frustrated since I couldn't imagine missing an arm myself, but I did think it a bit odd given that it had been a long time since FOH had chopped the limb off. I just thought he would have been more accustomed to living without it by then.

"Well that was a good introduction to the ship functions. But perhaps enough for today, eh?" he said.

"Yes," I said.

"So, when is your shift over with?"

I looked at my watch. "I have another two hours and fifteen minutes."

"Do you care for some company?" he asked, as I'd dearly hoped he would.

"Yes!" I said eagerly. I realized I probably sounded a bit too eager. "Bridge duty gets so boring."

"I would imagine." He looked around the room, surveying it. His gaze fixated in the direction of the large picture window. "Beautiful view of the stars from here." He went up towards the window to get a better look. I remained in my chair. My, he looked good from the back!

"Yes. I sometimes find it relaxing to come up here and just look out into space."

There was a long pause. Jean-Paul then turned back towards me. "Bobby, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Not at all."

"Please don't be offended if I am wrong here, but are you gay?"

"Yes, I am." Just breathe normally, don't appear too eager, just stay calm.

"I thought that's what my gaydar sensed! But I didn't want to assume. How interesting! I have always wanted to meet another gay mutant!"

"Me too," I said. "I don't know of any others, except Marrow."

"The girl with the bones sticking out?"

I nodded.

Northstar then walked back to the seat next to mine, and we spent the rest of my shift talking. In fact, I totally forgot to even look at the monitors for a while, which was really bad. Fortunately, Jean-Paul reminded me to, and from then on we were dutiful.

"So…when did you know?" I asked him.

"You mean, that I was gay or that I was a mutant?" he asked. We both smiled. He went on, "Yes, it's funny, isn't it? We have to come out both as gay and as a mutant. But for me, I think I've known that I was gay ever since I was a child. I didn't know that I was a mutant until much later because none of my powers manifested themselves until I was about 14."

"Wow---same for me!"

"Really?" he asked, leaning forward in his seat.

So on and on we went, sharing our coming out stories, whether it meant coming out as gay and as mutants. "I never had a real problem with accepting my sexuality," he was saying at one point. "My parents knew and accepted it. They were circus performers and I was raised among circus performers---a group of social outcasts. My parents were friends with one of our fellow performers, Raymonde. He was an older man and gay too. When I told my parents I was gay, they said I should go talk to Raymonde. What a wonderful man he was---he helped me learn to accept myself, to deal with it. He taught me ways to deal with straight peoples' prejudice."

"Wow, you are so lucky, Jean-Paul," I said.

He must have noticed the look of pain on my face. I hated that those bad memories could still impact me after so many years, but they did.

"I sense you did not have it as easy, Bobby," he said. He asked me about it.

I told him my story. How my mother had found those magazines in my room one day, and had told my father right away. How my father had beaten me within an inch of my life, and then disowned me. I lived with an Aunt for a week before I struck out on my own, using the money I'd saved from my after-school job for a bus ride to New York. Just weeks later, I accidentally used my then-uncontrolled mutant powers in public. "I thank god, I thank my lucky stars, I thank every power that exists that Professor Charles Xavier had been on the crowded street when I used my powers," I recounted. "He approached me and asked if I wanted to attend a school for the gifted, a school where I could learn to use those powers. My life began then."

"How old did you say you were then?"

"Seventeen."

Jean-Paul and I continued to talk, words easily spilling out of our mouths. It was one of those instances when you meet someone special and you simultaneously want to hear every word they have to say but also share everything about your life with them. I could tell he felt the same way. He listened very well when I spoke but also was eager to share.

I told him of how I used to date women when I was in my late teens and early twenties. "I knew I was gay," I said. "But I wanted to give heterosexuality a chance. I wanted to be able to say that I at least **tried.** But I just wasn't attracted to women."

He nodded. He had told me earlier that never dated or went to bed with a woman. "So what did you find when you went out with women?" he asked.

"Um, I found that I didn't like it at all. I found that I was terrible in bed with women." He and I shared a smile over that. "I never had any clue on how to make a woman come!" I went on. "I knew from talking to other guys and I heard that there was this thing called a clitoris that I was supposed to find and stimulate. But I could **never** find the darn thing! I looked and looked but didn't find it." He and I were cracking up at that point. "Men are so much easier!"

He later told an interesting story. He was one of the original members of Alpha Flight (just as I was one of the first X-men), and just a few weeks after they began training together, Alpha Flight was in a jet, zooming towards their first mission. "I was shaking in my skin, I was so afraid," he said. "I was terrified of going on that mission and facing the bad guys. And even though I'd been trained well, I was frantically trying to think of a way to get out of going on that mission or getting off that jet. So I stood up in the middle and announced to the team that I was gay. It was a surprise for most of them since none of us had known each other for long. So everyone sat there with their mouths open. Me, I had been hoping that Sasquatch would beat the crap out of me so I wouldn't have to go on that mission!" We laughed together over that. "As it turned out, Walter became a great friend. And no one on the team ever really gave me a hard time for being gay."

"No one on the X-men has ever bothered me about it either," I said. "Though sometimes you can tell if someone's attitude towards homosexuality in general is not very good." I was, of course, thinking of Scott and Warren.

We kept on taking, as the minutes sped by like grains of sand escaping through a sifter. "Why didn't we hook up like this the first time you were on board Freedom?" I asked.

Jean-Paul smiled, but then looked down as a more solemn expression washed over his features. "You know, I was too traumatized back then to even think straight. I'd just survived torture and watching my sister and my teammates be tortured and most of them killed….."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I shouldn't have brought up these memories."

"No, no, it's ok. Nothing I haven't been dealing with for the past two years. But I wasn't in the mental condition then to be interested in meeting new people. Besides, all I could think of was returning to earth and to Phillippe."

I nodded. Jean-Paul had already shared with me that he and Phillippe had been together for three years. As we X-men had learned a few months ago, Phillippe---as well as Jeanne-Marie's husband----had been killed by FOH the night Alpha Flight was abducted. "I've been spending all this time trying to adapt to life without him…..it is very hard. He and I were very much in love."

I again told him I was sorry for his loss. He reached for the hand I had gently placed on his shoulder and lightly squeezed it. "Thank you, mon ami. I appreciate it." Jean-Paul added one more thing to his account of the last time he had been on board Freedom. "You know, I didn't approach you for all those reasons, and also because at the time I wasn't really sure that you were gay. After we left for earth, I thought back to you and wondered. But," he added, "I had thought that perhaps you and Henry McCoy were a couple."

I smiled, "Hank and I? Nah….we're best friends but we've never been anything more. And never will be."

The doors to the bridge whooshed aside though Jean-Paul and I had barely noticed it. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, boys," Marrow said, standing in the doorway, smirking.

I looked at my watch. "Hey, you're late! By almost twenty minutes."

She shrugged. "You sure didn't seem to notice."

Jean-Paul and I stood up, and Marrow took her place at the captain's chair. Jean-Paul and I left the bridge. "Are you hungry?" I asked. "It will be dinner time on this ship in about ten minutes."

"I am hungry," he said.

"We mostly eat replicated stuff but we often throw in some of the vegetables from my garden." I had told him about the gardening I had been doing and he was impressed.

"The real stuff always tastes better than the replicated. How wonderful that you are a gardener!"

"Would you like to eat together? I mean, not in the mess hall with the others but maybe we could find a conference room to eat in. That way, we could keep talking in peace and quiet."

"I would love to," he said, smiling.

Most of the X-men, along with Shaman, Silver Moon, and Lily Pearl were milling about the mess hall. Each person lined up with their tray, pressed a few buttons on the food replicator to acquire a meal, and then sat down at the long table to eat. A huge salad featuring real vegetables from Bobby's garden had been served at lunch, and a tiny amount was left-over. It was hastily grabbed by the first two attendees at dinner up before any of the others could get to it.

Jubilee sat next to the Professor and across from Moira. She chatted away amicably, reminding Moira of how Siryn had been. Moira loved the young woman's spirit. Jubilee turned her head when she saw Iceman and Northstar enter the room.

Bobby assisted Northstar with his tray, piling most of Northstar's food onto his own so that the tray would be more manageable for a man with one arm. He did it naturally and without comment.

"Where are you guys going?" Jubilee asked, when she saw Bobby and Northstar heading back for the door, their trays in hand.

"Yeah, what's wrong? We showered today!" Rogue said, grinning.

Bobby smiled. "We're just going to take this to go," he said.

Gambit raised his eyebrows as the two men left the room. Several looks were exchanged around the table. "You guys…." Rogue began, "do y'all think Bobby could be….on a date?!"

Our dinner conversation was much like our bridge conversation, except I kept praying that there was no food stuck in my teeth. We sat in one of the small meeting rooms. Much of our dinner remained uneaten because we preferred to talk.

When we first sat down, I asked Jean-Paul if he needed help cutting any of his food. He smiled a forced smile. "I do not like to depend on others for things like this, but I must admit that I could use your help." So I gladly cut up his food for him.

We didn't talk a lot about his missing arm though, because it was obvious he did not wish to dwell on that subject. It clearly made him uncomfortable. I suggested that he might want to broach the topic with Professor X, given that Xavier had lost the use of his legs but had managed to adapt anyway. Jean-Paul didn't seem overly interested in that idea, but he did brighten considerably when I told him that perhaps the Endarians would find a way to get him a working arm.

So we kept on talking, describing our years and years with the X-men and Alpha Flight respectively. We spoke a lot about the events of the past two years. He was very entranced with my tales about the Paradise planet and the Endarians. I soaked up every detail of his last year and a half, which had been immensely hectic for him, as he'd been constantly on the run, trying to evade FOH.

After we ate dinner, Jean-Paul and I spent some time taking a walk around the ship. We then walked back to the personnel quarters. He was still learning his way about the ship and I wanted to make sure he found his way back to his room. So we paused outside his door.

I asked, "Do you want to come in to my room for a bit? I – uh—have really enjoyed talking with you."

"I've enjoyed it too, Bobby," he said, that endearing smile on his face. "But I had better check on my sister. And my nephew. She has her hands full and she could probably use my help." We had not discussed Jean-Paul's nephew at great length, but he did share with me that he and Jeanne-Marie had basically abducted Stephan from the boy's grandparents. I held back from passing any judgment on that, but Jean-Paul let me know that the boy was not happy to be back with his mutant mother. That much had been obvious from the moment the child stepped off the shuttle. Also, from the brief mentions Jean-Paul had made of his sister during our conversations that day, it sounded as if Jeanne-Marie was quite depressed.

"Of course," I said.

He reached with his one arm and touched my shoulder. "But how about a kiss?" he asked, his eyebrows raised slightly.

My heart jumped up into my throat. I quickly looked around to ensure we were alone in the hall. Then Jean-Paul and I stepped together and brushed our lips together. The kiss lasted a mere second, and I so much craved more. Dear god it's been so long. I stepped towards him for a second one, but he backed away. He then just smiled sweetly. "See you tomorrow, Bobby."

I said something, can't remember what, and went away from there grinning like an idiot.

Hank and Panda were sitting in her room, quietly discussing the day's events. Panda sat on Hank's lap. The two scarcely fit on the largest chair Hank had been able to find on board the ship, but they made it work. As they spoke, they occasionally kissed and they casually scratched each other's fur---a sensation they both enjoyed greatly.

As Hank enjoyed Panda's company, he mulled over the same questions that ran through his head virtually every time they were together like this. `Is now a good time? No—maybe she would have said something if tonight was going to be our night. But can I truly be certain of that? Maybe I should ask somehow? But how would I do that? Perhaps the time is not right. Maybe she would prefer to wait until we are returning to An'zhina. But why would she prefer that? However, I should not broach this topic with her lest I be pressuring her. I cannot pressure her at all in this way given what she has been through. She should be the one to initiate anything beyond the affectionate---but non-sexual--- activities we have already been engaging in. So perhaps it is best to wait and do nothing. I guess. Oh---would that I had Gambit's instincts!'

Suddenly, their time together was interrupted by pounding on the door.

As Bobby knocked on the door, for a split second he flashbacked to the incident where Jubilee had nearly walked in on Scott and Jean. But Bobby had never considered that Hank and Panda had become lovers yet. A few weeks ago, he had casually asked Hank, "Did you get laid yet?" Needless to say, his best friend was not thrilled with the manner in which the question had been asked, and Bobby had not been surprised when the answer had been negative.

"Come in, Bobby," Hank said, after Bobby had identified himself via the communicator. Panda got up from Hank's lap and sat herself in the second chair in the room.

"Guess what you guys?!" Bobby said, charging in. "Northstar and I kissed!!!!"

Panda couldn't help but to laugh at Bobby's flailing arms, wide eyes, and the way in which he looked like he was going to begin jumping up and down. "That is wonderful, Bobby," Hank said.

"You and Northstar were the talk at dinner tonight," Panda added.

"Really?" Bobby asked.

"Well, everyone saw you two going off, you guys didn't seem at all interested in any of our company….we all went `hmmmm….."

"Oh, you guys, Jean-Paul is so **cool**! We had so much to talk about. So much in common! We've been talking together non-stop since half way through my bridge duty shift. We…." For the next half hour, Bobby went on to relay to Hank and Panda virtually everything Northstar had told him earlier that day of the French-Canadian man's history. "….he has an Olympic bronze medal in skiing….he grew up in a circus and used to be an acrobat…..he can fly and run at super-speed….He's **so cute**!" (At that last bit, Hank silently mused that perhaps Bobby had not matured that much since his teenage days after all.)

"I am very happy for you," Hank said, sincerely. It would never occur to him to be jealous, just as Bobby would never conceive that he'd need to worry about Hank being jealous.

After talking at super-speed, Bobby said, "Well, I gotta go! I'd better share this with Jubilee right away. It was nice talking to you though!

Hank and Panda looked at each other and exchanged a patient smile. Bobby exited the room.

"Oh, Bobby, you're so lucky!" Jubilee said. "Northstar is so handsome!"

"I know!" I said. "But that's not the only reason I like him, of course. He and I have so much in common. He knows what it's like to be gay and a mutant." I elaborated on Jean-Paul's attributes. After a bit, I worried that I was boring her. Then I realized what it was. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jubilee. You're sad that you don't have anyone."

She sat there and shrugged. "Story of my life. I'm not gonna worry about it right now. What's the point of just making myself all bummed out?"

"That's the attitude!" I said. I tried to sound positive, but I really was sad for her. I felt my mood decelerating a bit, too. It was a little hard to be happy when a dear friend is obviously not. And unfortunately, I didn't have much I could offer her by way of comfort. I just reminded her that she is attractive, sweet, and lots of fun to be with, and that sooner or later she would find someone awesome. She seemed unconvinced though.

The rest of the trip to earth just zoomed by for me. I couldn't believe it when we X-men were all called to the bridge as the Professor announced we were mere hours away from our home planet.

Jean-Paul and I spent as much time together during the week or so leading up to that as possible. We both trained in the Danger Room (although….well, I had taken to showing up late for training sessions and such), and he spent a lot of time with his sister and nephew though. But each day we spent several hours together. A couple of times, he and I had dinner with Hank and Panda (and Hank and I would joke together afterwards….because not long before, I had bitterly quipped that we would have to double date once I found someone. And now we were doing just that!) We also hung out with Rogue and Gambit a bit too. I was worried that Remy and Jean-Paul might not get along given their cultural backgrounds, but they seemed to like each other.

Jean-Paul and I couldn't do enough to get to know each other. Each time we were together, we learned more about the other person. I found myself more and more drawn to him. I know he had been described as arrogant in the past (Wolverine in fact said he used to be) but I think Jean-Paul had matured. He was gentle and thoughtful and serious. I started to see glimmers of his quirky sense of humor too, but not too much. The mood for pretty much everyone on the ship was sedate.

Jean-Paul was no slouch in the Danger Room either----mentally and physically, he was tough. Of course, he was hampered by the loss of the arm. His powers did not include any natural weapon that he could discharge (no lasers shooting from his eyes or ice from his fingertips), and he could not operate a weapon larger than a pistol. His main asset for the X-men would be his super-speed.

I did something in this relationship that I'd never done before: we did not have sex yet. You know, with men----we've all been socialized to go for it and "score" and much as we can, so you put two men together and generally neither of them is going to hold back at all. And, well, think what you will of me, but if Jean-Paul had wanted to, I would have graced his bed in a second. But on our second "date", we discussed this. He told me that he knew he was still grieving the loss of Phillippe and he did not wish to rush into anything just yet. "It would not be fair to you, Bobby," he had said. "I want to take my time getting to know you and not mess anything up. And I want to be respectful of Phillippe's memory by not starting something serious yet. So let's take the time to get to know each other….You know, ten years ago, I would not be thinking this way at all. I would have gone to bed with you in a second. But now I know the difference between having sex and making love. And I want us to make love….but not until the time is right, and not until enough time has passed that I will not be dishonoring Phillippe's memory."

Emotionally and intellectually, I agreed with him one hundred percent. Physically, it was another matter. But I of course had to respect his wishes. So we tended to part each evening outside of one of our rooms with a kiss. (Usually, the hall was empty. But one time, the Professor and Moira came by. I about died!) We never entered each other's rooms and maybe that was for the better. Each night, I went to bed with visions of beautiful Jean-Paul on my mind.

And, of course, Gambit came up to me a few times, nudged my arm and asked me if I'd gotten any. He seemed absolutely shocked when I smiled and said, "No." Once I explained what was going on with Jean-Paul then Gambit, of course, understood.

So that was where things stood at the time we reached earth. It was incredible to me how quickly the days went by. I knew I would need to mentally buckle down and get back to focussing on the mission. That is a tough task to do, though, when you are falling in love.

Back on earth, a young man was walking his dog late one evening. It was a placid, quiet dusk and his well behaved Labrador retriever happily sauntered alongside him. Suddenly, the dog began to bark. The man whirled his head around. Nothing. He heard a sound---something akin to the hum of machinery. The sound seemed to be coming from above him. He looked heavenwards and thought perhaps he caught a glimpse of something…something in the sky. Some sort of movement.

But whatever it was, it was there no longer. His dog calmed down and they resumed their stroll. `Perhaps I imagined it,' the guy said to himself.

Professor Xavier sat at the bridge of Freedom, deftly working the controls. The X-men had several mutants to return to earth, and they needed to do so quickly and efficiently. Each former prisoner was beamed down exactly where he or she requested. The Professor scanned for locations and times that would be as unobtrusive as possible.

Of course, all the X-men stood by----some in the transporter room, others in the bridge, and others yet in the engine room. Beaming people to and from the surface required that Freedom drop its cloak, which put them at a terrible risk. They could only afford to be de-cloaked for a split second, and even then, they had to pray that FOH would not pick them up with their sensors. Everyone stood ready and prepared for battle. Theirs was a nerve-wracking task that required precision and speed.

Hours earlier, the X-men had all held their breath as Freedom slipped past the five FOH vessels that patrolled earth. Apparently, their cloak was still undetectable. Before liberating any Mutant Containment Centers, their first priority was to do right by those mutants they had taken and who wanted to return to earth. One after another, they handled the transport of the former prisoners of the FOH.

John and Elaine Grey sat in their living room, watching the evening news. Their two grandchildren, Joey and Gail were sleeping in the guest room. The grandparents had agreed to serve as babysitters so that their surviving daughter Sara, and her husband Tom, could have a weekend together on vacation. John and Elaine sensed the couple's retreat was perhaps a last ditch attempt to save their marriage, and they were only too glad to babysit for them.

As Elaine worked on her crocheting, she only half-listened to the news. It was odd. Years ago, mutants were in the news virtually every day. Whether it was the violent acts of a few mutants or Charles Xavier's valiant attempts to convince the public that mutants were not to be feared, there had been a time when you could scarcely look at the TV without hearing about mutants.

No longer. It now seemed that they had almost been erased from public consciousness. Occasionally, an FOH commercial would be aired and they would give reminders of how the crime rate was down due to the Mutant Containment Centers. But that was it.

It had been almost two years now that John and Elaine's elder daughter, Jean, had been abducted by Friends of Humanity. The couple still held onto the hope that she lived….but they had neither heard nor sensed anything from her for that entire time. FOH claimed that the X-men had waged a battle on them and stolen one of their starships. And John and Elaine saw on the news that a few months ago, a Mutant Containment Center had been raided ---and all the mutants "abducted"---by the X-men. "So perhaps that's where she is," John had said after those news reports were aired. "She and the other X-men plan to free all the camps and rescue all the mutants. They can't return to earth now. The climate here is too awful for mutants now. Maybe it is best this way." The couple still desperately wished for some sort of sign that Jean was alive and well.

That evening, Elaine heard a noise from the kitchen. It sounded like the whir of machinery, but it was a sound she was unfamiliar with. John was looking intently at her. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

"Yes, and I'm glad you heard it too. For a split second, I thought I was losing my mind."

"We **are** getting old, Elaine."

The couple got up from their recliners and entered the kitchen. On their table was a photograph. Elaine gasped when she saw it. Jean! It was a picture of Jean and Scott….holding a baby! As always, in the picture Jean and Scott looked at each other with abject love. They also looked at the baby with adoration. John and Elaine studied Jean's face. She looked as beautiful and as calm and centered as always. A deeper look at the picture also revealed some weariness on her features.

Hands trembling, John turned the photograph over. Written on the back were the words, "Jean and Scott with Charlotte Lynn. All safe and sound."

"She **is** alive!" John exclaimed. "And look----we have another grandchild!"

Elaine began weeping.

Chapter 18

Chapter 20