Chapter 5

Big spun around at Carrie's touch and they were face to face. She raised her eye brow at him? He looked slightly perturbed. " Hey hon, how's it going?"

She decided to keep things light hearted. There was always an explanation in these circumstances, and she had learned through past experiences to not fly off the handle.

"Things are good. What about you, Mr Big Liar?"

Big just shrugged moodily. "Yeah, busy day. I got lots of work."

Carrie responded in a second, unable to control the anxious tone of her voice. "You told me you were leaving the city today. You told me that you were travelling back for work!" She searched his face for a response. He was acting so aloof. It wasn't Big's style to make up excuses for his wrong behavior, so she knew he wouldn't tell her why he had lied.

"Look, can we go for a coffee?" She asked. "I wanna see you again before you leave."

Big smiled at Carrie gently. "I'm sorry, course we can. I'm just a little stressed about work right now. I shouldn't be taking it out on you." Carrie only felt slightly comforted by this. She sensed that there was more to his behavior. She knew it was about her. Something had happened that night that she couldn't remember that had scared him, she was sure of it. She assumed that she had said that she loved him.

As they sat for coffee, they discussed everything but their relationship. However, all the time Carrie fretted over the very thought of telling Big she loved him. She could have kicked her drunken self! The one cardinal rule of knowing Big is to not let him know how much she needed him. Had she not learnt that yet?

Big seemed to have cheered up a little and was talking to her like nothing had happened, just like old friends, or even like work mates. Not speaking about anything too personal, he kept the conversation light.

"This is it, " she thought. "This is how it is always going to be." She decided then that she would have to settle for friendship. She believed that either Big would never open his heart to any girl, or she just wasn't the right girl for him.

They began to chat about music. One thing they had always shared was there taste in music. He was a big fan of all the old classic as was she.

"Hey, it turns out I'm going to be in the city for another couple of nights. Do you know what we should do tonight?"

Carrie was taken aback. What was it with Big? Mr split personality? And what made him so certain she didn't have plans already that evening.

"We should go to Bar Bliss,"

"Oh, should we now?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. "The music's great, they have this brilliant piano player and his music Carrie, its all the oldies, everything we like."

Carrie was reminded of Miranda's words. She was in danger of repeating history if she went to Bar Bliss with Big. He would inevitably lure her into a false sense of secuirity, she would fall for him all over again and he would get scared and push her away once again.

"Sorry, I'm going out with the girls tonight." She took a deep breath, proud of the step towards freedom she had taken.

"Even better, " he replied. "A night out with the girls is just what I need." He laughed.

"Ummm well, if you're sure you don't mind going out with the girls."

"Carrie! You know I love to keep up with all the girl chat."

She decided it wouldn't be such a bad idea. It didn't mean she was opening her heart to him again. It was simply a gathering of friends.

"Ok, that sounds like a good idea."