DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, not me. I don't make any
money from writing fan fiction so don't sue me. If any Discworld
characters come into the story at any time, they belong to Terry Pratchett.
And the chapter headings are generally from Shakespeare.
A/N: If you don't like what's happening to Sev, then don't envisage him as Alan Rickman. If you don't like the way Draco is portrayed, then just picture Tom Felton (Ahhhhh...).
Anyway if any strange characters crop up (for example the Luggage) they are most probably from Discworld. I advise you to read them and start with 'The Colour of Magic'.
* * *
"*Fire burn*"
"Augurey (also known as Irsih Pheonix)
M.O.M. classification: XXX
The Augurey is native of Britain and Ireland, though sometimes found elsewhere in Northern Europe. A thin and mournful-looking bird, somewhat like a small and underfed vulture in appearance, the Augurey is greenish black. It is intensely shy, nests in bramble and thorn, eats large insects and fairies, flies only in heavy rain and otherwise remains hidden in its' tear-shaped nest.
The Augurey has a distinctive low and throbbing cry, which was once believed to foretell death. Wizards avoided Augurey nests for fear of hearing that heart-rending sound, and more than one wizard is believed to have suffered a heart attack on passing a thicket and hearing an unseen Augurey wail. Patient research eventually revealed, however, that the Augurey merely sings at the approach of rain..."
Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them
* * *
Hermione looked down over the Hogwarts grounds from the highest astrology tower of the school had. Clouds were gathering in the sky and she knew that the bird would sing, but she wondered if Snape would fall for the trick. She could see the blind folded Augurey being moved into place by her fellow team members. The 'team' consisted of Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Hagrid and herself.
The twins were using the Marauder's Map to keep a look out while Harry flew the bird in to position on his Firebolt. He glanced up at Hermione who signalled to Ron.
Ron strode out from the Forest, yelled to Hagrid and placed a hex on himself, which caused several large, ugly boils to pop up on his face. Then Hagrid ran towards him, lifted him up and ran into Hogwarts yelling for a teacher. Professor Snape glided towards Ron and Hagrid, then grudgingly helped Hagrid by clearing the way through hoards of students.
The team moved into the second position.
* * *
Harry pointed his wand at the ground level window and whispered alohomora. He walked down the corridor and looked around, placing the bird on a table, behind the door in Snape's office. Then he set a few very large, very dead spiders beside it.
He glanced around, the office was the same as it had always been, cold with dead things leering out of jars. He thought about everything Snape had ever done to him and his friends and (with difficulty) he decided against putting a curse on the desk.
Harry remembered the first time he had ever been in this office. He and Ron had been terrified; Snape had tried to expel them for crashing a flying Ford Anglia into a rather vicious Whomping Willow. It wasn't even as though there had been any permanent damage done to the tree in the first place, it had been much life threatening to them.
The Augurey moved its' head, as though it could see Harry through the fabric. Harry gave it a friendly pat and took off the bird's blind fold. He quickly exited the office, ran down the corridor and out the window to the relative safety of Hogwarts grounds.
The Augurey looked around, then turned towards the window to see that the boy had got on its' stick and flown away into the cloudy dusk.
The Irish Phoenix turned to look at the figure sitting by the desk. It had a white skull and glowing blue orbs for eyes. Death was holding his scythe in a slightly bored manner.
I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN PLAY TRICKS FOR LITTLE CHILDREN. He said. Death stood and walked towards a random wall. I THINK I SHALL LEAVE HIM FOR TODAY. He took out an hourglass with Severus Snape embossed on the nameplate and gave it a few flicks with a skeletal finger. I THINK I SHALL LEAVE SEVERUS FOR A WHILE YET. (A/N: Death is from Discworld)
The air outside was beginning to thicken with the moisture that comes before rain. The clouds darkened, winds lashed at trees and a weathercock spun quickly round in a circle before spinning away, into the countryside.
The Augurey took a deep breath.
* * *
Professor Snape strode down to his dungeon office thinking. He knew that The Magical Creatures Club was planning something, but he just hadn't quite figured it out yet.
As Severus opened the door and froze as a sorrowful call met his ears; "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN NGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AANNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGK..."
He looked for the source of the sound and for some reason, expected to see a skeleton in a cloak, but instead caught sight of a rather shrivelled vulture. The wail started up again and at this point he thought about suicide.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAANNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG."
He froze the bird with a point of this wand and the feeling of a selfless, self-sacrificing lemming quickly passed. Snape put the Irish Phoenix in a bag and as an after thought, dropped in a couple pickled fairies.
Professor Snape went over to his fire-place and used the Floo Inter-Office- Network to visit Dumbledore.
* * *
Hermione waited under the invisibility cloak outside the office as Snape entered his office. She heard the bird and resisted the erge to blow her self to 'smithereens'. When the Aurgurey stopped calling a second time Hermione stepped closer to the door and opened it slightly.
She was just in time to see Snape leave by using Floo and took off the cloak.
Hermione walked slowly away from the dungeons and pondered...
* * *
Harry saw Hermione and went to meet her on her way back to the Forest. She seemed to be concentrating.
"So, did it work?" asked Harry.
"No. He seemed to know what the bird was after a few seconds. I thought that Augurey would be more effective seeing it's already twenty years old."
"Where is it?"
"Snape brought it through the Floo Network and I think he's going to Dumbledore."
They walked in silence. Professor Lupin came to join them. He had been watching from Hagrid's hut and asked them how it went.
Hermione told him and Lupin laughed.
"What's so funny?" inquired Harry "it didn't even work."
"Snape just did the most stupid thing possible with that bird." At the bemused look on their faces, he continued, "because it's sensitive to rain, it's also sensitive to dryness and when Floo is used it dries the air. When he comes out the other end, all he will have is a bag containing green dust." Lupin laughed out loud and they turned towards the school...
* * *
Snape stepped out to find Dumbledore eating a packet of yellow muggle sweets and looking into his pensive.
"Hello, what can I do for you today Severus?" he asked without looking up.
"I have a compliant to make against this new club you have allowed to be set up." replied Snape, smirking.
The Headmaster put the bowl back into a cabinet near his desk and put the sweets away in a drawer. He summoned his phoenix and whispered something in its' ear, before carrying it to the window and letting it fly away.
"And what would that be Severus?"
"Some-one has put an Irish Phoenix in my office. I can only assume it was the Club, because no student would have been able to smuggle one inside Hogwarts. Besides, they scared Malfoy away by threatening him with a hippogriff."
Snape pulled the bag out from behind his back and handed it to Dumbledore. The Headmaster looked inside the bag, before giving Snape a very strange look and dumped green soot and two pickled fairies out of the bag.
"I'm sorry, Severus, but whatever evidence you may have had against them has been destroyed before you reached my office. There is no way for me to test what this substance was before you used the Floo Network. Besides a particular sweet turns to dust if brought through the Floo. Apple Bon-Bons if you're interested at all. I thought that Mister Malfoy had got over his fear by now."
Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling from behind his glasses and his lips began to curve in the beginnings of a smile.
Meanwhile Snape was fuming. So... the dog is smarter than he looks it would seem. Well I'm going to have to teach him and his little friends a lesson in DADA...
"Sorry to have wasted your time", he said stiffly. "Have a nice evening."
* * *
They were in the clearing again, but this time there were many curious animals hanging around, just outside the light provided by floating candles. Tables had once again been set up (but this time people sat in their teams, chosen in their spare time) and all the members had seated themselves. The excited faces were looking expectantly at Harry's group. Hermione shook her head.
"Well, it was a good try." Harry conceded. "Who's going next?"
The groups looked around at one another. Many of the students were looking everywhere but Professor Lupin, who sighed and conjured a large pink top hat from the air.
"The first name pulled out of the hat gets the next turn, and I'll post the date up outside my classroom. Don't ask for any details and in case the target shows up at the next meeting, pull out your gloves and start talking about how great Screwt Riding is."
There were several moans as the conspirators went their own merry ways for the night. Hagrid was looking rather worried.
"Bu' there's only one lef' Professor. What if she gets hurt?" He asked Lupin as the two walked towards his hut.
"What do you reckon will happen if Snape finds out it was us?" asked Ron.
"Oh...I'd say we'd know about it in the morning when he slips some truth potion into the Pumpkin Juice tomorrow." replied Harry.
"Or when he does the same thing to us." Said Hermione darkly.
* * *
Well that's the second chapter and the story for now, because I have to go back to school on Monday and it'll be a while before I get the next bit out.
If you have any ideas for the next chapter, please send in review or via email.
Fluffpaws- I'll sent you an email when the 3rd part is out if you like.
*REVIEW PLEASE*
A/N: If you don't like what's happening to Sev, then don't envisage him as Alan Rickman. If you don't like the way Draco is portrayed, then just picture Tom Felton (Ahhhhh...).
Anyway if any strange characters crop up (for example the Luggage) they are most probably from Discworld. I advise you to read them and start with 'The Colour of Magic'.
* * *
"*Fire burn*"
"Augurey (also known as Irsih Pheonix)
M.O.M. classification: XXX
The Augurey is native of Britain and Ireland, though sometimes found elsewhere in Northern Europe. A thin and mournful-looking bird, somewhat like a small and underfed vulture in appearance, the Augurey is greenish black. It is intensely shy, nests in bramble and thorn, eats large insects and fairies, flies only in heavy rain and otherwise remains hidden in its' tear-shaped nest.
The Augurey has a distinctive low and throbbing cry, which was once believed to foretell death. Wizards avoided Augurey nests for fear of hearing that heart-rending sound, and more than one wizard is believed to have suffered a heart attack on passing a thicket and hearing an unseen Augurey wail. Patient research eventually revealed, however, that the Augurey merely sings at the approach of rain..."
Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them
* * *
Hermione looked down over the Hogwarts grounds from the highest astrology tower of the school had. Clouds were gathering in the sky and she knew that the bird would sing, but she wondered if Snape would fall for the trick. She could see the blind folded Augurey being moved into place by her fellow team members. The 'team' consisted of Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Hagrid and herself.
The twins were using the Marauder's Map to keep a look out while Harry flew the bird in to position on his Firebolt. He glanced up at Hermione who signalled to Ron.
Ron strode out from the Forest, yelled to Hagrid and placed a hex on himself, which caused several large, ugly boils to pop up on his face. Then Hagrid ran towards him, lifted him up and ran into Hogwarts yelling for a teacher. Professor Snape glided towards Ron and Hagrid, then grudgingly helped Hagrid by clearing the way through hoards of students.
The team moved into the second position.
* * *
Harry pointed his wand at the ground level window and whispered alohomora. He walked down the corridor and looked around, placing the bird on a table, behind the door in Snape's office. Then he set a few very large, very dead spiders beside it.
He glanced around, the office was the same as it had always been, cold with dead things leering out of jars. He thought about everything Snape had ever done to him and his friends and (with difficulty) he decided against putting a curse on the desk.
Harry remembered the first time he had ever been in this office. He and Ron had been terrified; Snape had tried to expel them for crashing a flying Ford Anglia into a rather vicious Whomping Willow. It wasn't even as though there had been any permanent damage done to the tree in the first place, it had been much life threatening to them.
The Augurey moved its' head, as though it could see Harry through the fabric. Harry gave it a friendly pat and took off the bird's blind fold. He quickly exited the office, ran down the corridor and out the window to the relative safety of Hogwarts grounds.
The Augurey looked around, then turned towards the window to see that the boy had got on its' stick and flown away into the cloudy dusk.
The Irish Phoenix turned to look at the figure sitting by the desk. It had a white skull and glowing blue orbs for eyes. Death was holding his scythe in a slightly bored manner.
I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN PLAY TRICKS FOR LITTLE CHILDREN. He said. Death stood and walked towards a random wall. I THINK I SHALL LEAVE HIM FOR TODAY. He took out an hourglass with Severus Snape embossed on the nameplate and gave it a few flicks with a skeletal finger. I THINK I SHALL LEAVE SEVERUS FOR A WHILE YET. (A/N: Death is from Discworld)
The air outside was beginning to thicken with the moisture that comes before rain. The clouds darkened, winds lashed at trees and a weathercock spun quickly round in a circle before spinning away, into the countryside.
The Augurey took a deep breath.
* * *
Professor Snape strode down to his dungeon office thinking. He knew that The Magical Creatures Club was planning something, but he just hadn't quite figured it out yet.
As Severus opened the door and froze as a sorrowful call met his ears; "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN NGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AANNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGK..."
He looked for the source of the sound and for some reason, expected to see a skeleton in a cloak, but instead caught sight of a rather shrivelled vulture. The wail started up again and at this point he thought about suicide.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAANNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG."
He froze the bird with a point of this wand and the feeling of a selfless, self-sacrificing lemming quickly passed. Snape put the Irish Phoenix in a bag and as an after thought, dropped in a couple pickled fairies.
Professor Snape went over to his fire-place and used the Floo Inter-Office- Network to visit Dumbledore.
* * *
Hermione waited under the invisibility cloak outside the office as Snape entered his office. She heard the bird and resisted the erge to blow her self to 'smithereens'. When the Aurgurey stopped calling a second time Hermione stepped closer to the door and opened it slightly.
She was just in time to see Snape leave by using Floo and took off the cloak.
Hermione walked slowly away from the dungeons and pondered...
* * *
Harry saw Hermione and went to meet her on her way back to the Forest. She seemed to be concentrating.
"So, did it work?" asked Harry.
"No. He seemed to know what the bird was after a few seconds. I thought that Augurey would be more effective seeing it's already twenty years old."
"Where is it?"
"Snape brought it through the Floo Network and I think he's going to Dumbledore."
They walked in silence. Professor Lupin came to join them. He had been watching from Hagrid's hut and asked them how it went.
Hermione told him and Lupin laughed.
"What's so funny?" inquired Harry "it didn't even work."
"Snape just did the most stupid thing possible with that bird." At the bemused look on their faces, he continued, "because it's sensitive to rain, it's also sensitive to dryness and when Floo is used it dries the air. When he comes out the other end, all he will have is a bag containing green dust." Lupin laughed out loud and they turned towards the school...
* * *
Snape stepped out to find Dumbledore eating a packet of yellow muggle sweets and looking into his pensive.
"Hello, what can I do for you today Severus?" he asked without looking up.
"I have a compliant to make against this new club you have allowed to be set up." replied Snape, smirking.
The Headmaster put the bowl back into a cabinet near his desk and put the sweets away in a drawer. He summoned his phoenix and whispered something in its' ear, before carrying it to the window and letting it fly away.
"And what would that be Severus?"
"Some-one has put an Irish Phoenix in my office. I can only assume it was the Club, because no student would have been able to smuggle one inside Hogwarts. Besides, they scared Malfoy away by threatening him with a hippogriff."
Snape pulled the bag out from behind his back and handed it to Dumbledore. The Headmaster looked inside the bag, before giving Snape a very strange look and dumped green soot and two pickled fairies out of the bag.
"I'm sorry, Severus, but whatever evidence you may have had against them has been destroyed before you reached my office. There is no way for me to test what this substance was before you used the Floo Network. Besides a particular sweet turns to dust if brought through the Floo. Apple Bon-Bons if you're interested at all. I thought that Mister Malfoy had got over his fear by now."
Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling from behind his glasses and his lips began to curve in the beginnings of a smile.
Meanwhile Snape was fuming. So... the dog is smarter than he looks it would seem. Well I'm going to have to teach him and his little friends a lesson in DADA...
"Sorry to have wasted your time", he said stiffly. "Have a nice evening."
* * *
They were in the clearing again, but this time there were many curious animals hanging around, just outside the light provided by floating candles. Tables had once again been set up (but this time people sat in their teams, chosen in their spare time) and all the members had seated themselves. The excited faces were looking expectantly at Harry's group. Hermione shook her head.
"Well, it was a good try." Harry conceded. "Who's going next?"
The groups looked around at one another. Many of the students were looking everywhere but Professor Lupin, who sighed and conjured a large pink top hat from the air.
"The first name pulled out of the hat gets the next turn, and I'll post the date up outside my classroom. Don't ask for any details and in case the target shows up at the next meeting, pull out your gloves and start talking about how great Screwt Riding is."
There were several moans as the conspirators went their own merry ways for the night. Hagrid was looking rather worried.
"Bu' there's only one lef' Professor. What if she gets hurt?" He asked Lupin as the two walked towards his hut.
"What do you reckon will happen if Snape finds out it was us?" asked Ron.
"Oh...I'd say we'd know about it in the morning when he slips some truth potion into the Pumpkin Juice tomorrow." replied Harry.
"Or when he does the same thing to us." Said Hermione darkly.
* * *
Well that's the second chapter and the story for now, because I have to go back to school on Monday and it'll be a while before I get the next bit out.
If you have any ideas for the next chapter, please send in review or via email.
Fluffpaws- I'll sent you an email when the 3rd part is out if you like.
*REVIEW PLEASE*