DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, it belongs to JKR, so don't
sue me. Discworld belongs to Pratchett, not me. The sound track I'm
listening to belongs to Warner Brothers, but I bought it so that means... I'm
confused I'll move on.
A/N: I'm really in the mood to write, cos I got my 1st two reviews;
I'd just like to thank...
Westie04: even though I practically held you at wand point, you reviewed!
Beautyqueen1979: I love to torture Snape...will I drive him mad? Will he murder? Will he ignore the whole thing and carry on with life as usual?
YAY!
Oh yeah, this chapter is for Alex, please don't be offended by the ramblings!
* * *
"When shall we meet again?"
"BILLYWIG (M.O.M. Classification:XXX)
The Billywig is an insect native to Australia. It is around half an inch long and a vivid sapphire blue, although its speed is such that it is rarely noticed by muggles and often not by wizards until they have been stung. The Billywig's wings are attached to the top of its head and are rotated very fats so that it spins as it flies. At the bottom of the body is a long thin sting. Those who have been stung by a Billywig suffer giddiness followed by levitation. Generations of young Australian witches and wizards have attemptes to catch Billywigs and provoke them into stinging in order to enjoy the side-effects, though too many stings may cause the victim to hover uncontrollably for days on end, and where there is allergic reaction, permanent floating may ensue. Dried Billywig stings are used in several potions and are believed to be a component in the popular sweet Fizzing Wizzbees."
Fantastice Beasts & Where To Find Them, Newt Scamander
* * *
Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting under the enchanted ceiling (showing the soon-to-be-autumn-sky in a cool blue shade) in the Great Hall, eating breakfast. Not being especially enthralled by her toasted crumpets, Hermione turned then saw Snape and Malfoy striding (and skipping) their way towards her. She looked at Harry and Ron, quickly pushing her Pumpkin Juice away and putting her hand over the goblet. The boys did the same.
Snape was smiling in his customary leering fashion, which he stopped when he tripped over a Hufflepuff bench:
"20 points and don't let me see you doing again." Snape barked at the closest Hufflepuff.
Malfoy just smiled handsomely at Hermione who blushed slightly, before looking up at Snape and turning pale again.
"You three, my office needs cleared, tidied and shorted out and you're the ones to do it. Malfoy will be assisting you, as he has disobeyed my orders yet again." Snape leaned a bit closer to the Gryffindors, who leaned a bit further back.
"Malfoy will give you the details."
There was a short silence.
Snape prodded Malfoy.
There was another silence.
Snape clipped Malfoy on the back of his head.
Malfoy looked up.
...And looked down.
He looked at the trio, with a puzzled expression on his face.
"...Tomorrow night, 7'o'clock..."
He looked up at Snape again, who glared down at Malfoy.
"If you're late, Crabbe and Goyle will see that you aren't again."
There was a pause, then Malfoy leered half-heartedly at them and gave an embarrassed cough before looking at his feet again.
Snape kicked him.
Malfoy gave him a look so often used by puppies that Snape's face softened momentarily.
"Remember to bring..." He prompted.
"Oh yes - Remember to bring your scrubbing brushes and pride because both of them will be greatly worn down." Malfoy managed to hold the sneer for a full ten words, before grinning at Hermione again.
Ron moved edged slowly between the two.
Snape looked towards the heavens glided like a bat to the Teachers' Table.
Malfoy shook hands with Harry and Ron, before slipping a note into Hermione's hand, while kissing it.
When he departed, all three turned slowly and sat down on the bench as one.
Hermione tried to read the note but was interrupted by Ron wrestling her for it. Harry took the note and gave it back to Hermione.
"'Don't worry, I'll cover for you and your friends'" Hermione read aloud.
'I know you did it my sweet and for one short kiss I shall keep that promise for all eternity.' Hermione continued inwardly, colour again rising on her delicate cheeks.
Ron stole the note and read the rest. It was all Harry could do to keep Ron sitting at the table, while Hermione put the Leglocker curse on him.
Ron soon managed to twist around in his seat and glare meaningfully at Malfoy, who paying absolutely no attention to him.
* * *
Snape slowly opened his office door with a look of concentration on his face. He pulled out his wand and lifted the hexes placed on the floor and surfaces. Then Sevvie looked to the painting on the wall who shrugged and walked out the frame.
(The painting was of course Ravenclaw and therefore in on the plan, so Sevvie won't be trusting him again any time soon.)
The Professor sighed in relief and then sat down on the chair at his desk. It was a good chair, with a soft leather seat, padded arms and snakes carved all the wood, it was the best chair he had ever sat upon. Which was why he let his guard down and closed his eyes.
Behind him, a cupboard opened...
* * *
Harry had removed the Leglocker Curse once Malfoy had left the Great Hall. Now he, Hermione and Ron were sitting in Transfigurations. Attempting to convince a cushion into becoming a parrot. As usual, Hermione had succeeded and was trying to get Harry and Ron to try it properly, instead of sitting on theirs.
"Why did you have to do that anyway?" complained Ron. "Couldn't you just have placed a Memory Charm on him? Besides, now probably thinks you fancy him or something stupid like that." Ron gave Hermione a sidelong look, then turned away in disgust.
Unfortunately for Ron, Hermione had given in to Draco's blackmail outside the Great Hall. She got the impression he would use that ploy much more often.
She had turned red.
Ron turned a nasty shade of purple.
"When do you reckon the next meeting will be?" asked Harry to the world in general. Sensibly, he ignored the colours that his friends had turned.
* * *
Professor Snape heard a buzzing sound and looked behind him to see a cloud of bright blue moving towards him.
He reached for his wand, cried STUPIFY, and found a rather hilarious rubber chicken in his hand. Sevvie's wand was sitting on a table near his door.
The Potions Master said "Oh SH-"
* * *
Madame Pomfrey's alarm in her office went off. She sent a signal down to Hagrid to fetch Dumbledore to the Hospital Wing, and set off down to the Dungeons.
...
Soon Professor Snape was brought up to Hospital Wing by a piece of ribbon, held by Hagrid. To Dumbledore he looked like an awfully gruesome muggle child's balloon, he adored balloons and it was a positive improvement in Snape.
"What's happened to him?" Dumbledore asked Pomfrey, "has he been hexed?"
She paused to tie the now unconscious teacher to a bed and put a curtain around him.
"It seems that a swarm of Billywigs have attacked him Headmaster. The colony from the greenhouses escaped last week, but Professor Sprout couldn't find them all. I don't think Professor has been permanently gravitated, but it looks like he'll be levitating to his lessons for at least a week."
They both attempted to stay serious, they didn't succeed.
* * *
Severus opened his eyes when the swelling had gone down slightly, he wished hadn't. Whatever he had been tied down with had come loose, so he had floated up and was touching the high ceilings of the Hospital Wing. Some one had left his wand on the table beside his bed and by pulling himself down he managed to reach it.
After several minutes of experimentation, Sevvie found that he could control the floating by issuing short, sharp bursts from his wand. Though this technique meant that he sometimes dropping his wand.
Fifteen minutes later, Madame Pomfrey found Snape poking around in the supplies cupboard with a pole he had conjured up for himself (literally). She gave up on trying to get him back down to bed when he succeeded in untying the ribbon. So soon Sevvie was discharged none the worse (except for the levitating and a slight twitch in his left eye).
* * *
There was a knock at the door of the Charms Class which was ignored by all apart from Professor Flitwick, who ran across the room to open it. (He doesn't get out much-what does an overgrown munchkin do in his spare time anyway?)
Somehow Snape managed to hover menacing over Hermione and Ron, who didn't notice him until a speck of drool landed between them. They looked up. Hermione screamed so much that Sevvie actually jumped, without touching the ground. Ron fainted conveniently, slumping side ways onto Hermione's chestal region. She jerked him away and continued screaming.
After a few moments, Snape decided that they weren't the culprits and floated serenely out of Charms. The entire female population of the class was in hysterics, while the boys waited for Flitwick to close the door, before laughing loudly and nervously.
* * *
Snape largely enjoyed his week of Levitation he could move more silently than before and had more with the students than normal. In fact they were getting the look of surprised petrification down to a tee. However, he unexpectedly lost his power and landed in Ron's cauldron which container a high power Lust Potion. (Luckily Hermione managed to freeze Sevvie before he could do her any harm.)
* * *
Later that week, the meeting had taken place. In honour of the success of the plan, team names were introduced and a points table was drawn up and team 'Beagle' was given 20 points.
The point scheme is as follows:
For getting Snape to the hospital wing - 5 points
For lasting effects – 5 points
For mental damage (ie. the twitch) – 10 points
For Snape's enjoyment of effects – minus 5 points
Creativity – 10 points
Place of prank;
Snape's Office – 5 points
The Great Hall – 20 points
In the presence of other teachers – 18 points
In school Grounds – 10 points
However, an agreement was that in exceptional cases (ie the effect of the stupidity of the idea or spell or creature used in prank), additional points would be awarded.
Again, a hat appeared (this one was blue with violet faux fur trimmings and yellow feathers in the rim) and another name drawn out of the hat. This time it was team 'Butterbeer' (Hermione, Harry, Ron and the Weasley twins) b(A/N YAY! GO TEAM BUTTERBEER!)b, who had the honour of taking their next turn.
* * *
Hermione was at breakfast the next day, when Draco pranced over to the Gryffindor table, smiling widely. He planted a kiss on her and Hermone grinned back up at him.
Ron attempted to hex the offending Slytherin, but his sister got in the way. When Colin Creevey had blasted Ron into unconsciousness, Hermione and Draco resumed their loving gaze.
Draco bent down on one knee and began "Will I compare you to a Caudron's base?"
After he had finished his mutilation of Shakespeare's sonnet he asked Hermione "When shall we meet again? When the moon is full and the clouds are none?"
The Gryffindore gave Malfoy a look that clearly said "Next Wednesday by the lake, and don't forget to bring the blanket."
* * *
A/N: I know the ending's cheesy and so but aren't Draco and Hermione so sweet? Whatever will Ron do? Heh heh heh...
Review please!
A/N: I'm really in the mood to write, cos I got my 1st two reviews;
I'd just like to thank...
Westie04: even though I practically held you at wand point, you reviewed!
Beautyqueen1979: I love to torture Snape...will I drive him mad? Will he murder? Will he ignore the whole thing and carry on with life as usual?
YAY!
Oh yeah, this chapter is for Alex, please don't be offended by the ramblings!
* * *
"When shall we meet again?"
"BILLYWIG (M.O.M. Classification:XXX)
The Billywig is an insect native to Australia. It is around half an inch long and a vivid sapphire blue, although its speed is such that it is rarely noticed by muggles and often not by wizards until they have been stung. The Billywig's wings are attached to the top of its head and are rotated very fats so that it spins as it flies. At the bottom of the body is a long thin sting. Those who have been stung by a Billywig suffer giddiness followed by levitation. Generations of young Australian witches and wizards have attemptes to catch Billywigs and provoke them into stinging in order to enjoy the side-effects, though too many stings may cause the victim to hover uncontrollably for days on end, and where there is allergic reaction, permanent floating may ensue. Dried Billywig stings are used in several potions and are believed to be a component in the popular sweet Fizzing Wizzbees."
Fantastice Beasts & Where To Find Them, Newt Scamander
* * *
Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting under the enchanted ceiling (showing the soon-to-be-autumn-sky in a cool blue shade) in the Great Hall, eating breakfast. Not being especially enthralled by her toasted crumpets, Hermione turned then saw Snape and Malfoy striding (and skipping) their way towards her. She looked at Harry and Ron, quickly pushing her Pumpkin Juice away and putting her hand over the goblet. The boys did the same.
Snape was smiling in his customary leering fashion, which he stopped when he tripped over a Hufflepuff bench:
"20 points and don't let me see you doing again." Snape barked at the closest Hufflepuff.
Malfoy just smiled handsomely at Hermione who blushed slightly, before looking up at Snape and turning pale again.
"You three, my office needs cleared, tidied and shorted out and you're the ones to do it. Malfoy will be assisting you, as he has disobeyed my orders yet again." Snape leaned a bit closer to the Gryffindors, who leaned a bit further back.
"Malfoy will give you the details."
There was a short silence.
Snape prodded Malfoy.
There was another silence.
Snape clipped Malfoy on the back of his head.
Malfoy looked up.
...And looked down.
He looked at the trio, with a puzzled expression on his face.
"...Tomorrow night, 7'o'clock..."
He looked up at Snape again, who glared down at Malfoy.
"If you're late, Crabbe and Goyle will see that you aren't again."
There was a pause, then Malfoy leered half-heartedly at them and gave an embarrassed cough before looking at his feet again.
Snape kicked him.
Malfoy gave him a look so often used by puppies that Snape's face softened momentarily.
"Remember to bring..." He prompted.
"Oh yes - Remember to bring your scrubbing brushes and pride because both of them will be greatly worn down." Malfoy managed to hold the sneer for a full ten words, before grinning at Hermione again.
Ron moved edged slowly between the two.
Snape looked towards the heavens glided like a bat to the Teachers' Table.
Malfoy shook hands with Harry and Ron, before slipping a note into Hermione's hand, while kissing it.
When he departed, all three turned slowly and sat down on the bench as one.
Hermione tried to read the note but was interrupted by Ron wrestling her for it. Harry took the note and gave it back to Hermione.
"'Don't worry, I'll cover for you and your friends'" Hermione read aloud.
'I know you did it my sweet and for one short kiss I shall keep that promise for all eternity.' Hermione continued inwardly, colour again rising on her delicate cheeks.
Ron stole the note and read the rest. It was all Harry could do to keep Ron sitting at the table, while Hermione put the Leglocker curse on him.
Ron soon managed to twist around in his seat and glare meaningfully at Malfoy, who paying absolutely no attention to him.
* * *
Snape slowly opened his office door with a look of concentration on his face. He pulled out his wand and lifted the hexes placed on the floor and surfaces. Then Sevvie looked to the painting on the wall who shrugged and walked out the frame.
(The painting was of course Ravenclaw and therefore in on the plan, so Sevvie won't be trusting him again any time soon.)
The Professor sighed in relief and then sat down on the chair at his desk. It was a good chair, with a soft leather seat, padded arms and snakes carved all the wood, it was the best chair he had ever sat upon. Which was why he let his guard down and closed his eyes.
Behind him, a cupboard opened...
* * *
Harry had removed the Leglocker Curse once Malfoy had left the Great Hall. Now he, Hermione and Ron were sitting in Transfigurations. Attempting to convince a cushion into becoming a parrot. As usual, Hermione had succeeded and was trying to get Harry and Ron to try it properly, instead of sitting on theirs.
"Why did you have to do that anyway?" complained Ron. "Couldn't you just have placed a Memory Charm on him? Besides, now probably thinks you fancy him or something stupid like that." Ron gave Hermione a sidelong look, then turned away in disgust.
Unfortunately for Ron, Hermione had given in to Draco's blackmail outside the Great Hall. She got the impression he would use that ploy much more often.
She had turned red.
Ron turned a nasty shade of purple.
"When do you reckon the next meeting will be?" asked Harry to the world in general. Sensibly, he ignored the colours that his friends had turned.
* * *
Professor Snape heard a buzzing sound and looked behind him to see a cloud of bright blue moving towards him.
He reached for his wand, cried STUPIFY, and found a rather hilarious rubber chicken in his hand. Sevvie's wand was sitting on a table near his door.
The Potions Master said "Oh SH-"
* * *
Madame Pomfrey's alarm in her office went off. She sent a signal down to Hagrid to fetch Dumbledore to the Hospital Wing, and set off down to the Dungeons.
...
Soon Professor Snape was brought up to Hospital Wing by a piece of ribbon, held by Hagrid. To Dumbledore he looked like an awfully gruesome muggle child's balloon, he adored balloons and it was a positive improvement in Snape.
"What's happened to him?" Dumbledore asked Pomfrey, "has he been hexed?"
She paused to tie the now unconscious teacher to a bed and put a curtain around him.
"It seems that a swarm of Billywigs have attacked him Headmaster. The colony from the greenhouses escaped last week, but Professor Sprout couldn't find them all. I don't think Professor has been permanently gravitated, but it looks like he'll be levitating to his lessons for at least a week."
They both attempted to stay serious, they didn't succeed.
* * *
Severus opened his eyes when the swelling had gone down slightly, he wished hadn't. Whatever he had been tied down with had come loose, so he had floated up and was touching the high ceilings of the Hospital Wing. Some one had left his wand on the table beside his bed and by pulling himself down he managed to reach it.
After several minutes of experimentation, Sevvie found that he could control the floating by issuing short, sharp bursts from his wand. Though this technique meant that he sometimes dropping his wand.
Fifteen minutes later, Madame Pomfrey found Snape poking around in the supplies cupboard with a pole he had conjured up for himself (literally). She gave up on trying to get him back down to bed when he succeeded in untying the ribbon. So soon Sevvie was discharged none the worse (except for the levitating and a slight twitch in his left eye).
* * *
There was a knock at the door of the Charms Class which was ignored by all apart from Professor Flitwick, who ran across the room to open it. (He doesn't get out much-what does an overgrown munchkin do in his spare time anyway?)
Somehow Snape managed to hover menacing over Hermione and Ron, who didn't notice him until a speck of drool landed between them. They looked up. Hermione screamed so much that Sevvie actually jumped, without touching the ground. Ron fainted conveniently, slumping side ways onto Hermione's chestal region. She jerked him away and continued screaming.
After a few moments, Snape decided that they weren't the culprits and floated serenely out of Charms. The entire female population of the class was in hysterics, while the boys waited for Flitwick to close the door, before laughing loudly and nervously.
* * *
Snape largely enjoyed his week of Levitation he could move more silently than before and had more with the students than normal. In fact they were getting the look of surprised petrification down to a tee. However, he unexpectedly lost his power and landed in Ron's cauldron which container a high power Lust Potion. (Luckily Hermione managed to freeze Sevvie before he could do her any harm.)
* * *
Later that week, the meeting had taken place. In honour of the success of the plan, team names were introduced and a points table was drawn up and team 'Beagle' was given 20 points.
The point scheme is as follows:
For getting Snape to the hospital wing - 5 points
For lasting effects – 5 points
For mental damage (ie. the twitch) – 10 points
For Snape's enjoyment of effects – minus 5 points
Creativity – 10 points
Place of prank;
Snape's Office – 5 points
The Great Hall – 20 points
In the presence of other teachers – 18 points
In school Grounds – 10 points
However, an agreement was that in exceptional cases (ie the effect of the stupidity of the idea or spell or creature used in prank), additional points would be awarded.
Again, a hat appeared (this one was blue with violet faux fur trimmings and yellow feathers in the rim) and another name drawn out of the hat. This time it was team 'Butterbeer' (Hermione, Harry, Ron and the Weasley twins) b(A/N YAY! GO TEAM BUTTERBEER!)b, who had the honour of taking their next turn.
* * *
Hermione was at breakfast the next day, when Draco pranced over to the Gryffindor table, smiling widely. He planted a kiss on her and Hermone grinned back up at him.
Ron attempted to hex the offending Slytherin, but his sister got in the way. When Colin Creevey had blasted Ron into unconsciousness, Hermione and Draco resumed their loving gaze.
Draco bent down on one knee and began "Will I compare you to a Caudron's base?"
After he had finished his mutilation of Shakespeare's sonnet he asked Hermione "When shall we meet again? When the moon is full and the clouds are none?"
The Gryffindore gave Malfoy a look that clearly said "Next Wednesday by the lake, and don't forget to bring the blanket."
* * *
A/N: I know the ending's cheesy and so but aren't Draco and Hermione so sweet? Whatever will Ron do? Heh heh heh...
Review please!