Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox,
etc... except of course the ones I make up.
Summary: The consequence for Buffy and Spike's daughter, Kat, is revealed. It was the last thing that they ever expected, and the most horrible thing that anyone could have imagined. *Sequel to "FAMILY"*
Spoilers: None. Just know that everything after "Normal Again" didn't happen.
~*~
TRADEOFF
Chapter 1: The First Question
Buffy was late. Okay, maybe not that late, but late enough that more cars were leaving the school than going into it. Damn, why did she have to fall asleep? Why did the bed have to be so warm and comfortable after coming home at five in the morning from patrolling, then having to get the little one off to school? She should have thought to set her alarm or something, she shouldn't have just expected Spike to wake her up. He didn't know that Kat was getting picked up from school today. And it so wasn't Buffy's thing to be late anymore. It didn't help that Kat hated it when her mother was late.
Buffy pulled wildly into a parking spot and jumped out of the car, almost forgetting to take the key with her. She walked quickly to the front door and pulled on it; it was locked. Of course, just her luck. As she stormed away to go around to the back door, Buffy couldn't remember if the doors had always been that color red.
As she turned the corner of the building, she saw a few little children playing by the jungle gym. She should have figured that the teachers wouldn't be keeping the kids inside, it was so beautiful out, seventy-two degrees and sunny. Just the kind of weather Buffy always hoped for in Sunnydale, the kind of weather that made the less friendly residents of the town stay indoors.
When Buffy was less than one hundred yards from the swings and monkey bars, she saw three kids playing what looked like "Ring Around the Rosie" by the slide. They stood up from their most reason falling down and Buffy immediately recognized two of the children. One was her own, her beautiful daughter with the rosy cheeks. The other was Nicky Harris, who might as well have been her own considering how much she saw of him. Strange though, she didn't know he wasn't taking the bus home, and Xander was nowhere in sight. Was she supposed to take him home and forgot? No, she was sure that she didn't. She wouldn't just forget something like that. Maybe he was going to have a play date with the other little boy in the circle. Buffy didn't think so since he looked at least three years older. Buffy could not see his face but she was sure that she had never seen him before, yet he looked strangely familiar. And why weren't there any adults around? This was very, very peculiar.
Buffy was now standing five feet away from the children who didn't acknowledge her presence. They were simply too wrapped up in their game, Buffy figured, it wasn't so unusual.
"Hey Kat, sorry I'm late. Mommy just had a brain spaz."
Upon hearing the woman's voice, the children stopped their play. Kat looked at her mother for a fleeting moment before falling to the ground, her legs crossed and her hands over her face. She cried hysterically as Nicky walked to her and put a small hand on her back. He wouldn't even look up at Buffy.
The young mother stepped forward and reached out to pick up her crying child when a cold hand grabbed her arm. She turned and saw that it was the boy who had been playing with Kat and Nicky. Buffy, upon seeing the face of the child clasped her hand over her mouth and let out a frightened gasp. It was a face that she had only seen in her dreams for the past thirteen years. It was a face that haunted her since the day she died.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. She doesn't like it when you do that."
Buffy shook her head in disbelief. "What- what do you want?"
The Anointed One shrugged his shoulders childishly. "I don't want anything. All I want is to play. I never get to play anymore. He keeps me underneath. Can't I play for just a while longer?"
"No! You can't play with her. You can't!"
"She won't like you. She'll be angry when you won't."
"Won't?"
The Anointed One pulled Buffy toward him so that his face was less that an inch from hers. "You can't save them all you know. You weren't meant to. Let her play."
"I won't! You can't have her! I'll save her, I will!"
The demon took the slayer's hands and shook his head sadly at her. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy..."
Her head spun as the scene around her began to fade to black. She couldn't see anything, but she could faintly hear Kat's cries in the background as the sound of her name became more prominent. Slowly it turned from the pitch of an eight year old boy to the mature and comforting voice of a one hundred and twenty-nine year old British vampire. Buffy realized then that it was a dream, no, a nightmare that she was having.
Sleep fled from her gradually, not like it usually did after such a dream. She slowly opened her lids to let in the light, but she was still so tired. She had a feeling she knew why she was being woken, but she didn't want to. The slayer pulled the covers over her head and slowly lowered them until they were only revealing her face.
"Buffy?"
She groaned. "I don't wanna get up."
"I know, love, but Kat's bus comes in a few."
Buffy sat up and pushed the hair out of her face. "Ugh. You know, would it really kill you to like get an umbrella or something. I mean, I may be a little Michael Jackson but you could run or..."
Buffy saw the broken look on Spike's face before she even realized the words that had left her mouth. What was meant as a joke was not taken as such, and no matter how lightly she had said it the words still hurt Spike like a stake through the heart. It wasn't his fault and Buffy never blamed him. Sometimes she may have felt it was unfair but ultimately she got the better deal. He could never see his little girl in the light. Comments like the one Buffy had just made only made matters worse.
"I'm sorry. That was just-" Buffy wanted to say "insensitive" but the statement could not escape her lips. It was beyond insensitive. Knowing how Spike just took it the utterance was simply cruel.
"I'm really, really sorry, baby," She apologized again as he sat on the bed beside her. "I swear I didn't mean-"
"No, it's all right," Spike interrupted. "I know you didn't."
Buffy kissed his cheek tenderly, a kiss to which Spike did not respond. This only made Buffy feel worse. She hated seeing him this upset, especially since it was her fault.
"I'm just gonna go to sleep, been up since, well, yesterday."
"Okay," Buffy agreed easily. Though she wanted to stay and make up for what she said, she really didn't have the time. She threw on some clothes and ran to the bus stop down the street.
She heard the bus coming long before it arrived at the stop. She had been, in the meantime, making small talk with the other mother, Melinda, whose children were at the same stop as Kat. Ally was in third grade and Michael was in Kat's class. They discussed teachers and stores and the weather, nothing terribly important to Buffy but it was better than awkward silence. She liked Melinda a lot, a very warm woman and Kat got along really well with Michael. Still, it was a hard thing for Buffy to make friends with, sometimes even to be friendly with, anyone outside of her tight little circle. She just felt like her other life separated her from everyone else too much. And though it wasn't fair to anyone, especially not to Buffy herself, she couldn't help it. It was the curse of the slayer, she supposed, as the yellow school bus came to screeching halt before them.
Kat was the first one off the bus today, followed closely by Nicky who was coming over to play. Though Kat was only in her third week of kindergarten, Buffy could tell this would be a common occurrence. Not that she minded, of course. She loved the boy like he were her own and if it gave her an excuse to see Xander, so be it.
"Hey sweetheart, hey Nicky."
Both children ran to the woman and wrapped their arms around Buffy's slender legs. She could already tell that something was wrong with her daughter by the lack of strength in her embrace. When the little ones finally let go, she looked at her daughter who, though naturally pale, was almost paper white and looked extremely distraught.
"Kat, is something wrong? Did something bad happen in school today?"
The girl shook her head half-heartedly. "No, Mommy."
"Buffy! Buffy! We had a 'sembly today!" Nicky told her excitedly, jumped around in circles and waving his arms.
Buffy couldn't help but smile. He was his father's son. "Oh did you now? What was it about?"
Nicky stopped jumping and stood before her pensively. "Uh... I don't 'member. But it was so much fun!"
"I'll bet it was," she agreed. She looked at her daughter again who seemed less than enthused and sighed. "All right, why don't we head on home now. I need you guys to play quietly downstairs though, okay, because Daddy is sleeping."
Nicky laughed. "He's not MY daddy!"
"I know, honey. I mean Kat's daddy. He had a very long night last night and needs to rest so get some toys from Kat's room and play downstairs. Can you do that?"
He nodded excitedly and his untamable, though Anya tried desperately to tame it, black hair flopped about his head. "Yeah, yeah."
"Thank you."
"Hey, Buffy? Wanna know what?"
"Sure, Sweetie."
"I think Spike is a silly name." The boy broke into a fit of giggles as they walked toward the house.
Buffy smiled. "I think you're right."
The slayer pushed the front door open as quietly as possible so as not to wake her sleeping vampire. She was pleased to see that both children entered quietly too. It was so unusual, almost eerie that her daughter wasn't bolting up the stairs to jump into bed with her father. But Buffy wasn't one to question small blessings.
"All right, now why do you guys get some games or whatever and bring them into the living room. I'll make some snacks for you."
The children agreed and walked calmly up the stairs. Once they were there and Buffy could no longer see them, Nicky walked silently to Kat's rooms while she made a beeline for her parents' bedroom. She burst through the door and rather than jumping into bed with her daddy, went straight for his duster which had been thrown onto a chair the night before. She dug furiously through the pockets, waking Spike in the process. He wanted to pretend like it wasn't happening, like he was still asleep, but that was impossible. He could hear from across the room the frantic breathing of his little girl as well as the quick beating of her heart.
Spike sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Kaitlin Joyce, what on earth are you doing in here going through Daddy's coat?"
She hated that name. She knew that Mommy and Daddy only used it when they were really angry or she had done something really bad. She could tell from her father's tone that he was indeed really, really angry, so she grabbed the offending object from his pocket and bolted from the room. Kat's behavior was too strange to ignore so Spike reluctantly got out of bed and went to his daughter's room.
"What is going on?" He asked, his voice louder than he intended. He looked at Nicky, who was standing in the corner holding a bunch of different toys and then at Kat, who was gripping a small white box in her tiny hands.
"Kat, what are you doing with Daddy's cigarettes?"
The girl, too upset to speak simply dropped them and burst into tears. Spike more confused than he had ever been in his life. What would cause such behavior in a five year old? Or maybe that was it, maybe it was just her being a five year old. He was about to ask again when Buffy came running into the room.
"What happened?"
"I don't know," Spike told her as he crossed his arms. "She ran into our room, nabbed my fags and ran off. I asked her what she was doing and she broke down."
"You're gonna die!" The girl yelled at the top of her lungs through the tears that were poring down her cheeks.
"What? Daddy is not going to die, sweetheart," Buffy told the sobbing child matter-of-factly. "What on earth makes you think that?"
"Today a peoples came and said smoking kills. I had to throw the cigarettes away so Daddy doesn't get killed!"
Buffy wanted to laugh. Buffy wanted to badly to laugh because it was really such a sweet gesture. However, she knew the repercussions of her laughter would only be to make her daughter feel worse. So instead of laughing, she hid her smile by taking her daughter into her arms and hugging her tightly.
"I don't want Daddy to die!" Kat wailed into her mother.
"Oh, baby."
This was so hard. How do you explain to a five year old that smoking kills everyone else? That Daddy can't get cancer and die because he's already dead? Buffy knew from the moment she found out she was pregnant that the child would have questions, lots of tough questions with painful answers. Buffy just never thought that the questions would come so soon.
"Kat, honey, Daddy is not going to die, I promise."
"Right," Spike agreed as he picked up the cigarettes from the floor and stared at them. He then took his daughter from Buffy's arms and carried her into the bathroom where he threw the carton into the garbage. "There, done. No more smoking for Daddy, all right? Keep him nice and healthy."
This helped to calm the child somewhat; the tears slowed and she put her head down on her father's shoulder. "Are you mad?"
"No, Kitten, I'm not mad at you."
"Promise?"
"I promise, baby."
The girl gave her father a kiss on the cheek before wiping the tears from her eyes and wiggling out of his arms to run and collect toys with Nicky. Buffy walked up to her paramour and put her arms around his neck, an amused smile on her face.
"That's one weird kid you got there," Spike told her.
She laughed. "Yeah? She gets it from you! Anyway, why don't you get some sleep now? I'll supervise the kids down the stairs and out of your hair."
"Thanks, pet." He brushed his lips in a gentle kiss over hers and she could tell that he wasn't angry with her anymore. As he walked off she gave him a playful slap on the butt, trying her luck, and saw his wide smile from behind as he walked into their room and shut the door.
"Come on guys, time to get downstairs" she said to the kids when she entered Kat's room. She laughed upon seeing each of their arms full to the top with various toys and games.
"Want some help with that?" She asked, already know that the answer would be:
"No, Buffy."
"No, Mama, we got it. We're very strong like you!"
"Yeah, yeah," Buffy laughed again, "just like me."
~*~
TBC...
~*~
Summary: The consequence for Buffy and Spike's daughter, Kat, is revealed. It was the last thing that they ever expected, and the most horrible thing that anyone could have imagined. *Sequel to "FAMILY"*
Spoilers: None. Just know that everything after "Normal Again" didn't happen.
~*~
TRADEOFF
Chapter 1: The First Question
Buffy was late. Okay, maybe not that late, but late enough that more cars were leaving the school than going into it. Damn, why did she have to fall asleep? Why did the bed have to be so warm and comfortable after coming home at five in the morning from patrolling, then having to get the little one off to school? She should have thought to set her alarm or something, she shouldn't have just expected Spike to wake her up. He didn't know that Kat was getting picked up from school today. And it so wasn't Buffy's thing to be late anymore. It didn't help that Kat hated it when her mother was late.
Buffy pulled wildly into a parking spot and jumped out of the car, almost forgetting to take the key with her. She walked quickly to the front door and pulled on it; it was locked. Of course, just her luck. As she stormed away to go around to the back door, Buffy couldn't remember if the doors had always been that color red.
As she turned the corner of the building, she saw a few little children playing by the jungle gym. She should have figured that the teachers wouldn't be keeping the kids inside, it was so beautiful out, seventy-two degrees and sunny. Just the kind of weather Buffy always hoped for in Sunnydale, the kind of weather that made the less friendly residents of the town stay indoors.
When Buffy was less than one hundred yards from the swings and monkey bars, she saw three kids playing what looked like "Ring Around the Rosie" by the slide. They stood up from their most reason falling down and Buffy immediately recognized two of the children. One was her own, her beautiful daughter with the rosy cheeks. The other was Nicky Harris, who might as well have been her own considering how much she saw of him. Strange though, she didn't know he wasn't taking the bus home, and Xander was nowhere in sight. Was she supposed to take him home and forgot? No, she was sure that she didn't. She wouldn't just forget something like that. Maybe he was going to have a play date with the other little boy in the circle. Buffy didn't think so since he looked at least three years older. Buffy could not see his face but she was sure that she had never seen him before, yet he looked strangely familiar. And why weren't there any adults around? This was very, very peculiar.
Buffy was now standing five feet away from the children who didn't acknowledge her presence. They were simply too wrapped up in their game, Buffy figured, it wasn't so unusual.
"Hey Kat, sorry I'm late. Mommy just had a brain spaz."
Upon hearing the woman's voice, the children stopped their play. Kat looked at her mother for a fleeting moment before falling to the ground, her legs crossed and her hands over her face. She cried hysterically as Nicky walked to her and put a small hand on her back. He wouldn't even look up at Buffy.
The young mother stepped forward and reached out to pick up her crying child when a cold hand grabbed her arm. She turned and saw that it was the boy who had been playing with Kat and Nicky. Buffy, upon seeing the face of the child clasped her hand over her mouth and let out a frightened gasp. It was a face that she had only seen in her dreams for the past thirteen years. It was a face that haunted her since the day she died.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. She doesn't like it when you do that."
Buffy shook her head in disbelief. "What- what do you want?"
The Anointed One shrugged his shoulders childishly. "I don't want anything. All I want is to play. I never get to play anymore. He keeps me underneath. Can't I play for just a while longer?"
"No! You can't play with her. You can't!"
"She won't like you. She'll be angry when you won't."
"Won't?"
The Anointed One pulled Buffy toward him so that his face was less that an inch from hers. "You can't save them all you know. You weren't meant to. Let her play."
"I won't! You can't have her! I'll save her, I will!"
The demon took the slayer's hands and shook his head sadly at her. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy..."
Her head spun as the scene around her began to fade to black. She couldn't see anything, but she could faintly hear Kat's cries in the background as the sound of her name became more prominent. Slowly it turned from the pitch of an eight year old boy to the mature and comforting voice of a one hundred and twenty-nine year old British vampire. Buffy realized then that it was a dream, no, a nightmare that she was having.
Sleep fled from her gradually, not like it usually did after such a dream. She slowly opened her lids to let in the light, but she was still so tired. She had a feeling she knew why she was being woken, but she didn't want to. The slayer pulled the covers over her head and slowly lowered them until they were only revealing her face.
"Buffy?"
She groaned. "I don't wanna get up."
"I know, love, but Kat's bus comes in a few."
Buffy sat up and pushed the hair out of her face. "Ugh. You know, would it really kill you to like get an umbrella or something. I mean, I may be a little Michael Jackson but you could run or..."
Buffy saw the broken look on Spike's face before she even realized the words that had left her mouth. What was meant as a joke was not taken as such, and no matter how lightly she had said it the words still hurt Spike like a stake through the heart. It wasn't his fault and Buffy never blamed him. Sometimes she may have felt it was unfair but ultimately she got the better deal. He could never see his little girl in the light. Comments like the one Buffy had just made only made matters worse.
"I'm sorry. That was just-" Buffy wanted to say "insensitive" but the statement could not escape her lips. It was beyond insensitive. Knowing how Spike just took it the utterance was simply cruel.
"I'm really, really sorry, baby," She apologized again as he sat on the bed beside her. "I swear I didn't mean-"
"No, it's all right," Spike interrupted. "I know you didn't."
Buffy kissed his cheek tenderly, a kiss to which Spike did not respond. This only made Buffy feel worse. She hated seeing him this upset, especially since it was her fault.
"I'm just gonna go to sleep, been up since, well, yesterday."
"Okay," Buffy agreed easily. Though she wanted to stay and make up for what she said, she really didn't have the time. She threw on some clothes and ran to the bus stop down the street.
She heard the bus coming long before it arrived at the stop. She had been, in the meantime, making small talk with the other mother, Melinda, whose children were at the same stop as Kat. Ally was in third grade and Michael was in Kat's class. They discussed teachers and stores and the weather, nothing terribly important to Buffy but it was better than awkward silence. She liked Melinda a lot, a very warm woman and Kat got along really well with Michael. Still, it was a hard thing for Buffy to make friends with, sometimes even to be friendly with, anyone outside of her tight little circle. She just felt like her other life separated her from everyone else too much. And though it wasn't fair to anyone, especially not to Buffy herself, she couldn't help it. It was the curse of the slayer, she supposed, as the yellow school bus came to screeching halt before them.
Kat was the first one off the bus today, followed closely by Nicky who was coming over to play. Though Kat was only in her third week of kindergarten, Buffy could tell this would be a common occurrence. Not that she minded, of course. She loved the boy like he were her own and if it gave her an excuse to see Xander, so be it.
"Hey sweetheart, hey Nicky."
Both children ran to the woman and wrapped their arms around Buffy's slender legs. She could already tell that something was wrong with her daughter by the lack of strength in her embrace. When the little ones finally let go, she looked at her daughter who, though naturally pale, was almost paper white and looked extremely distraught.
"Kat, is something wrong? Did something bad happen in school today?"
The girl shook her head half-heartedly. "No, Mommy."
"Buffy! Buffy! We had a 'sembly today!" Nicky told her excitedly, jumped around in circles and waving his arms.
Buffy couldn't help but smile. He was his father's son. "Oh did you now? What was it about?"
Nicky stopped jumping and stood before her pensively. "Uh... I don't 'member. But it was so much fun!"
"I'll bet it was," she agreed. She looked at her daughter again who seemed less than enthused and sighed. "All right, why don't we head on home now. I need you guys to play quietly downstairs though, okay, because Daddy is sleeping."
Nicky laughed. "He's not MY daddy!"
"I know, honey. I mean Kat's daddy. He had a very long night last night and needs to rest so get some toys from Kat's room and play downstairs. Can you do that?"
He nodded excitedly and his untamable, though Anya tried desperately to tame it, black hair flopped about his head. "Yeah, yeah."
"Thank you."
"Hey, Buffy? Wanna know what?"
"Sure, Sweetie."
"I think Spike is a silly name." The boy broke into a fit of giggles as they walked toward the house.
Buffy smiled. "I think you're right."
The slayer pushed the front door open as quietly as possible so as not to wake her sleeping vampire. She was pleased to see that both children entered quietly too. It was so unusual, almost eerie that her daughter wasn't bolting up the stairs to jump into bed with her father. But Buffy wasn't one to question small blessings.
"All right, now why do you guys get some games or whatever and bring them into the living room. I'll make some snacks for you."
The children agreed and walked calmly up the stairs. Once they were there and Buffy could no longer see them, Nicky walked silently to Kat's rooms while she made a beeline for her parents' bedroom. She burst through the door and rather than jumping into bed with her daddy, went straight for his duster which had been thrown onto a chair the night before. She dug furiously through the pockets, waking Spike in the process. He wanted to pretend like it wasn't happening, like he was still asleep, but that was impossible. He could hear from across the room the frantic breathing of his little girl as well as the quick beating of her heart.
Spike sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Kaitlin Joyce, what on earth are you doing in here going through Daddy's coat?"
She hated that name. She knew that Mommy and Daddy only used it when they were really angry or she had done something really bad. She could tell from her father's tone that he was indeed really, really angry, so she grabbed the offending object from his pocket and bolted from the room. Kat's behavior was too strange to ignore so Spike reluctantly got out of bed and went to his daughter's room.
"What is going on?" He asked, his voice louder than he intended. He looked at Nicky, who was standing in the corner holding a bunch of different toys and then at Kat, who was gripping a small white box in her tiny hands.
"Kat, what are you doing with Daddy's cigarettes?"
The girl, too upset to speak simply dropped them and burst into tears. Spike more confused than he had ever been in his life. What would cause such behavior in a five year old? Or maybe that was it, maybe it was just her being a five year old. He was about to ask again when Buffy came running into the room.
"What happened?"
"I don't know," Spike told her as he crossed his arms. "She ran into our room, nabbed my fags and ran off. I asked her what she was doing and she broke down."
"You're gonna die!" The girl yelled at the top of her lungs through the tears that were poring down her cheeks.
"What? Daddy is not going to die, sweetheart," Buffy told the sobbing child matter-of-factly. "What on earth makes you think that?"
"Today a peoples came and said smoking kills. I had to throw the cigarettes away so Daddy doesn't get killed!"
Buffy wanted to laugh. Buffy wanted to badly to laugh because it was really such a sweet gesture. However, she knew the repercussions of her laughter would only be to make her daughter feel worse. So instead of laughing, she hid her smile by taking her daughter into her arms and hugging her tightly.
"I don't want Daddy to die!" Kat wailed into her mother.
"Oh, baby."
This was so hard. How do you explain to a five year old that smoking kills everyone else? That Daddy can't get cancer and die because he's already dead? Buffy knew from the moment she found out she was pregnant that the child would have questions, lots of tough questions with painful answers. Buffy just never thought that the questions would come so soon.
"Kat, honey, Daddy is not going to die, I promise."
"Right," Spike agreed as he picked up the cigarettes from the floor and stared at them. He then took his daughter from Buffy's arms and carried her into the bathroom where he threw the carton into the garbage. "There, done. No more smoking for Daddy, all right? Keep him nice and healthy."
This helped to calm the child somewhat; the tears slowed and she put her head down on her father's shoulder. "Are you mad?"
"No, Kitten, I'm not mad at you."
"Promise?"
"I promise, baby."
The girl gave her father a kiss on the cheek before wiping the tears from her eyes and wiggling out of his arms to run and collect toys with Nicky. Buffy walked up to her paramour and put her arms around his neck, an amused smile on her face.
"That's one weird kid you got there," Spike told her.
She laughed. "Yeah? She gets it from you! Anyway, why don't you get some sleep now? I'll supervise the kids down the stairs and out of your hair."
"Thanks, pet." He brushed his lips in a gentle kiss over hers and she could tell that he wasn't angry with her anymore. As he walked off she gave him a playful slap on the butt, trying her luck, and saw his wide smile from behind as he walked into their room and shut the door.
"Come on guys, time to get downstairs" she said to the kids when she entered Kat's room. She laughed upon seeing each of their arms full to the top with various toys and games.
"Want some help with that?" She asked, already know that the answer would be:
"No, Buffy."
"No, Mama, we got it. We're very strong like you!"
"Yeah, yeah," Buffy laughed again, "just like me."
~*~
TBC...
~*~