Disclaimer: If I owned Fushigi Yuugi, then most of the characters would be stick figures.
Don't Talk To Strangers
Miaka was moronically skipping down the streets of the city, ignoring the many people staring at her. Suddenly, a white dog with black spots raced out of an alley. Miaka noticed this and cried out," SPOT!!! TAKE ME TO JANE!!!"
The poor puppy, scared out of his wits, ran the opposite way from the crazy lady, right into an alley. Miaka chased after him like she was running after an icecream truck. Turning a corner, she bumped into a guy.
Miaka apologized,"Oh! I'm so sorry! I was just-"
The man leered," Chasing after my puppy?"
Miaka gasped," Oh Jane, how could you?!" The man stared blankly at her. What could he have done?
Miaka continued," Jane, how could you have had a sex-changing operation?! You used to be so cute!" She burst into tears. The man, seeing red, blindly struck at her and watched her fall to the ground. Miaka fingered her bruised cheek and stared in astonishment at "Jane".
The man turned his head and called," Oi, boys, let's have some fun with the chickee."
A group of the ugliest men you could imagine stepped out of the shadows and gathered around Miaka. She whimpered in fear as she backed up against the wall. They menacingly marched forward and Miaka squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the pain to begin……..
Her eyes bugged out as she saw the boy that had saved her earlier pick the pockets of the thugs, now twitching and moaning on the ground. He noticed her stare and smiled.
"Hey, are you alright?"
Miaka glomped onto the poor boy and started to fake tears.
"I-I-I was soooooo scared!" She inwardly thought, Maybe if he pities me enough, he'll take me with him!
Blushing, the boy said," My name's Tamahome, you're safe now." He pried her off him and asked," Hey, where's your friend? You alone this time?"
Miaka nodded and pitifully forced a sob," Sh-she abandoned meeee……and I CAN'T go home after that fight with Mom……"
Tamahome sighed," You know, if you could actually work or get me some cash, I could bring you with me…"
Miaka and Tamahome jumped as they heard the sound of a trumpet. They plodded out of the alley in time to see a fancy parade. At the front was about 10 or so acrobats wearing costumes that looked like Hotohori (with his hair down). Then came a rectangle of guards protecting a gaudy carriage, followed by beautiful women carrying banners in Chinese saying "Heika-sama is da bomb!" and "Our Heika-sama is beautiful AND smart!" and one even said "Gold eyes, silky black hair……DAMN he's fine!"
Tamahome, oogling the acrobats, murmured, " If only I could get one of those outfits, I'd be rolling in dough….."
Miaka, taking the nonexistent hint, suddenly raced towards the acrobats. She charged one of them and bellyflopped on him. She then pleaded," Mister Flexible Girly Man, can I please borrow your outfit?"
The guards, outraged at seeing such an injustice brought down upon one of their own, abandoned the emporer's carriage and raced towards Miaka in hopes of smacking a couple IQ points in there.
While trying to yank off the guy's Hotohori mask, she was whisked away by Tamahome. He yelled at her," WHAT THE FRICK WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR MIND, YOU TWIT?!"
Miaka cheerfully responded," Absolutely nothing at all!" Gaining an idea, she woefully said," But now I owe you a favor…….."
Tamahome, his male instincts kicking in (hey, he's a guy, give him a break), said," This will do" and kissed her full on the lips. Before 5 seconds had passed, Miaka was overwhelmed by a bright red light. As she started to materialize back into the library, she screamed," NO! THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS! TAMA-"
She found herself back in his arms,"-home……"
He looked at her like she was the Loch Ness Monster and asked," What ARE you?"
Before she could answer, they were both knocked out by the guards and, on the emporer's orders, were imprisoned in the dungeon.