Disclaimer: *sing to "I'm a little teapot"* I'm a fanfic author look at me! Here is my computer and here is my pop. If you try to sue me I will say "I don't own Fushigi Yugi na no da!".
Ch. 8: Do I HAVE To?
*In the real world*
After Mrs. Yuki had called Yui telling her that Miaka had run away, Yui had spent a whopping five minutes looking for her before she had gotten bored and headed to the library to steal-erm, I mean, "look at" the super rare books she and Miaka had found the day before. After securely shoving some books into her knapsack to "check out", she had found a glowing red book and, being the smart girl she is, opened it on the spot and began reading.
"See Spot. See Spot run. Run, dammit, RUN!" She looked at the cover of the manuscript and said," Ah, wrong book," and tossed See Spot over her shoulder in favor of the book glowing BLUE.
"The Universe of the Four Gods…………sounds profitable-uh, I mean, "educational"."
And so Yui began to follow the adventures of the main character, the Priestess of Suzaku. Suddenly, a thought struck her with the force of a two-ton truck making roadkill.
"Oh my God, is this MIAKA?!" and "So then who killed Kenny?!"
*Back in the book*
"So you want me to sign this?" Nuriko asked suspiciously atop her perch on a bound and gagged Tamahome.
"Yup! It says that from now on, I'm your slave!" Miaka chirped with an undisguised note of jealousy in her voice, holding a paper contract.
Nuriko rubbed her chin thoughtfully and pondered," Hmm……" she paused and then said," Only if you don't interfere with my and Tamahome's relationship."
"But that's the whole point!" Miaka whined. Then she sighed and said," Alright….."
Nuriko then undid her braid, releasing hundreds of voluminous strands at least two feet long. The warrior then handed Miaka a brush and said," Get to it, servant. And you must brush each strand at LEAST 1,000 strokes."
"What did I get myself into?" Miaka thought out loud as Tamahome struggled against the ropes binding him to get free.
**********
"This hall is dusty. Wipe it down, chop-chop!" commanded Nuriko. Miaka sighed as she moved a rag back and forth across the floor, unaware of the seishi sprinkling more dirt on the floor behind her.
Miaka let out another groan as she thought, I didn't know she'd make me do manual labor.......THIS IS PRIESTESS ABUSE!
"You call THIS clean?!" sneered Nuriko. Miaka turned around to find the dirtiest floor she had ever seen.
She stammered," B-but, I was SURE that I, I mean, how-" Miaka was interrupted by a table knocking her to the ground.
"Whoops! Oh, silly me, I slipped!" Nuriko giggled.
Tamahome, appearing to Miaka's rescue, started to reprimand her by saying," Look Nuriko, stop picking on Miaka! No matter how thick her head is, she STILL could have gotten hurt! I don't like-"
"ME?!" finished Nuriko tearfully.
Tamahome stammered," Uh, yes, ah, I mean, no-"
"I'M SO HAPPY!" shrilled Nuriko as she glomped him.
"TAMAHOME YOU JERK!" yelled the revitalized Miaka, throwing the table at him. Miaka then said," Hey, let's play hacky-sack! Tamahome, over here!"
Why me? Tamahome groaned inwardly.
*********
After making her peace with Tamahome, Miaka reported back to Nuriko's room to do maid stuff, like......um....folding blankets! However, before she could get any serious work done, Nuriko called her over.
"What's up?" Miaka asked.
Nuriko sighed and launched into her tale of woe. "Some time ago I lost a very precious earring while I was on a walk near the royal pond. It's made out of clear crystal, so it's obviously very hard to find, but the crystal glows in the moonlight. However, my maids are too scared of the depth of the pond and of the dark, and, as you know, I'm unable to leave the inner buildings, so I can't retrieve it......"
"So you want me to get it? Sure! Be right back!" Miaka cheerfully told her as she walked off. Unknown to her, Nuriko cackled," Fool."
*********
"Your Highness, you are of age, why do you continue to ignore the women of the inner seraglio?" an advisor asked.
"Yeah, we take the time to gather the hottest women of the empire for you, and you NEGLECT them! If I were in your shoes-" another continued.
Hotohori interrupted, "Should I not concentrate on matters of the country? I am more concerned with our affairs with Kutou than with taking a wife." Take THAT, stupid advisors. I want to SLEEP. Let me GO!
"Hang on, what about that girl, Nuriko? She's hot with two T's!" one of the advisors commented. The others readily agreed with a couple of whistles.
Hotohori internally groaned SLEEP but then replied, "She is a celestial warrior, and, as such, has been released from her seraglio duties to attend Miaka. Besides, I have had the face of my ideal woman in my mind since I was small...."
"Your ideal woman?"
"Hey, does she by any chance look like-"
"BOO!" yelled Miaka.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" yelled the advisors as they fainted from shock.
Miaka turned to Hotohori and laughed," I KNEW you wouldn't be fazed." She heard a wheeze on the ground and asked," Do you think they're okay?"
Hotohori said," What are you doing here?"
Miaka casually replied," Oh, I'm just doing a favor for Nuriko."
Hotohori frowned and asked," Aren't you two getting along? I mean, I can order her to-"
"No, it's all good. Besides," she smiled serenely at him," you can't ORDER someone's feelings to change! I want to make friends with her on my own. See you later!" As she walked off, the only thing he could think about was, Miaka........do you know that you have a milk mustache?
**********
Darkness conceals many things; for example, the thief that was currently barging into Houki's room, or the prisoner escaping from his cell. However, Miaka was searching for the hardest of them all: a nonexistent earring. She paced up and down the pond, sometimes getting within two feet of it and then quickly backing away. A sudden POOF was heard as Miaka turned around to see an SD monk with blue hair and a cat-like face say," Ohayo, na no da!"
"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Miaka screeched as the surprise made her fall into the pond.
"Fine then no da, BE that way," Chichiri huffed, disappearing back into his hat. However, below the water, Miaka realized one thing the hard way: once you get tangled in seaweed, it's hard as hell to UNtangle yourself. Where's Tamahome when you need him?! She thought frantically.
********
On the other side of the palace, Tamahome, along with Nuriko and a couple of maids, were having a party.
"Huzzah! Hooray! The wicked bitch is dead!" a random servant cheered.
"So who's death are we celebrating? Houki's?" Tamahome asked, gulping down an ancient Chinese version of a shot.
Nuriko gleefully answered," No, Suzaku no Miko's!"
And with that, Tamahome spit out his drink and yelled, "WHAT?! ARE YOU INSANE?! We have to go save her!"
Nuriko slyly held up a bottle of wine and said," Hang on Tama, how about some wine before you leave?"
Caught in an internal struggle between alcohol and his duty to his country, Tamahome thought there could be nobody in this world with a worse dilemma than he; obviously he wasn't thinking of the drowning miko.
****
Tama......home.......thought Miaka. Where are you?.......Help....... ........oh hey, pretty rock!