Ryochan8: Hey all! Sorry to have kept you waiting, it's just that……..well……um, how do I say this……

Tasuki: Oi onna, just tell them that you're too lazy to update quickly!

Ryochan8: *glares* Tasukiiiiii!!!!!

Tasuki: *oblivious* -and not ta mention ya STILL need ta finish yer Science, Spanish, AND Faith homework from th'  weekend……..

Ryochan8: *sulks* HOW did you end up being my MUSE and not my MOTHER?!

Tasuki: *grins and holds up the Victory sign* Because I'm one hellova hottie!

Ryochan8: O.o Riiiiiiiight.  Anyway, hope everybody enjoys the chapter, and, of course, pointers, suggestions, and general reviews are always welcome!

Tasuki: Oh yea, she doesn't own me, Chiri, or even th' entire Fushigi Yuugi series. (no matter how much she wants to) A'right, now let's get drunk!

Ryochan8: ^-^;;; 

Lake Water = Weirdness

Yui, calmly reading her "Money!" magazine, suddenly felt cold.  And wet.  And hungry.  But that's besides the point.

"Okay Miaka, when you get back I am SO going to Super-soaker you to death!.........Wonder what happened to you anyway….." But instead of checking the glowing "Universe of the Four Gods" lying next to her, she shrugged, licked her thumb and turned the page of her magazine, careful not to get it wet.

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          "Hang on, how is Miaka dying anyway?" Tamahome asked, trying to see if his help was really needed so he could take the wine without a guilty conscience.

          Nuriko's head swelled as she boasted," She went to search for a non-existant earring in that cold, cold pond-"

          A random maid asked," How would you know that it's cold, Nuriko-sama? Did you go skinny-dipping or something?"

          "………and she fell for it, hook line and sinker! What a twit! So becoming of a girl that has no idea about court etiquette! She's probably freezing to death right now!" Nuriko finished, pointedly ignoring the maid's question.

          A drunk Tamahome shrieked," WHAT THE HELL?!  This is the only person that can summon Suzaku and you send her to FREEZE to death?!" He hiccupped," Why not give her some dignity and let her BURN to death?!"

          Nuriko growled," That chibi whore! Putting her tramp's hands on MY Hotohori-sama!" She pointed at Tamahome and added," She's even got YOU under her spell! So I'm TAKING you from her-"

          "Hi everybody!" chirped a high voice.

          Involuntarily, everybody responed," Hi Neighbor Bob!" and then looked up to see a soaking wet Miaka.  Tamahome would have asked if she was alright, but he was too busy gawking at the way her clothes clung to her body. He shuddered and thought, How could anybody be THAT chubby?!

          Unaware of Tamahome's stare, Miaka continued," I couldn't find an earring in there, so I found this instead!" She held up a string of gold coins. "Isn't it shiny?"

          Nuriko slapped his forehead and muttered," I guess it's true, idiots just NEVER die." Then she shouted," Miaka no baka! ……hey, that sounds cool……" She cleared her throat and shouted," Miaka no baka!" She giggled for a couple of minutes while everybody sweatdropped. She began again," Miaka-" Nuriko fell to the floor and held her sides, trying to contain her laughter.

          Tamahome yelled," Okay, okay, we get that she's an idiot, can we just move on with our lives now?"

          Nuriko wiped the tears away from her eyes and finished ranting," Ill-bred little moron! You actually went into the pond?! Ha! I was lying!"

          "I knew that."

Miaka's confession shut Nuriko's cackling up.  The womanly seishi just stared at her as she continued.

          "Your story didn't make sense.  It was re-dun-dant." Miaka silently thanked the guard that took a half an hour to explain the situation to her and told her what to say.  However, she didn't anticipate what happened next. 

Nuriko slapped her.

          Not to be outdone, Miaka slapped Nuriko back while cheering," Tag, your it!"

  Holding her cheek, the Lady Nuriko broke down into tears.  "*sniffle* Y-y-you *sniffle* slapped b-back *hiccup*"

          Smiling gently, Miaka asked," Of course I did. You deserved it AND more.  But anyway, do you want me to talk to Hotohori? I mean, we're just friends."

          Nuriko and Tamahome sweatdropped and thought, JUST? Hello, he's an EMPEROR!!

***********

          "Look, you don't have to SLEEP with them, I'm just saying that it would be nice if you paid attention to them!" Miaka insisted.

It was later that night and, after changing into a dry robe, Miaka had gone to Hotohori's bedroom, intent on keeping her promise to Nuriko. 

          "…..and….?" Hotohori boredly responded.  He was so sleepy! First his advisors, now HER! How dare she interrupt his sleep? He wanted to sleep so he could dream about his beloved Suzaku no miko!

          "Hotohori, you're surrounded by billions of women desperately in love with you.  You have a palace. A harem.  ANY woman would be happy to belong to you!  Any MAN dreams of being in your place! It doesn't hurt to acknowledge the fact, does it?"

          …….Hotohori's thoughts came to a halt.  THIS was the Suzaku no miko!  The one he had dreamed about! And she was in HIS room! ……hmmm……..

          "Is there a man you are in love with?" he asked, the epitome of mystery.

          Miaka started at this as a picture of Tamahome drooling over money entered her mind.  She furiously shook her head to rid herself of the image.  Hotohori took that as a "no" and continued.

          "…..and besides, I already have someone.  She is someone I've cherished since time began." With this, he threw her onto the bed and laughed, "GUESS WHO?!"

Suddenly, the wall caved in, leaving Nuriko and Tamahome sprawled out on the floor, still in the position of listening in.

          Tamahome turned to Nuriko and sighed," Nuriko, really, you MUST go on weight watchers."
          Hotohori just glared at his fellow seishi, giving them the incentive to scram.  Thoroughly disturbed, Miaka also started to dash out of the room, saying," I think it's my bedtime so-"  But was stopped when Hotohori grabbed her wrist. 

          He intensely said," I meant what I said Miaka. Once this is over, I shall make you my empress."

          Miaka whined," Hey! Isn't there some law against that kinda thing?! You can't tell me what to do!!"

          Hotohori snapped his fingers in annoyance and sulked," Darn."  He then looked up at her determinedly and told her," Very well, I shall not force you by decree; I shall merely make you love me." 

          Astonished, Miaka quickly said goodnight and left for her room, even though she was too weirded out to sleep.

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